Ymir hardly got any sleep that night. How could she? Her mind was whirling. She couldn't stop thinking. Her thoughts were fueling a desire for Ymir to do something. To do anything. To help Historia.
Staring up at the ceiling, she could hear Ilse's snoring in the other room. And next to that bedroom, was Ymir's. Where Historia was sleeping. Ymir had ended up surrendering her bed entirely for the sake of Historia being comfortable. While the couch wasn't exactly uncomfortable, it definitely wasn't the ideal place to sleep.
The brunette shifted her body, turning over to face the cushions. She raised a hand to trace a pattern with her fingertips as she lost herself in thought. Mikasa was right and Ymir was glad she had a chance to talk to her. The only predicament she ended up in was the fact that she didn't know exactly how to start a much-needed conversation between Historia and her. While Ymir was, for the most part, a straightforward person, the blonde was an exception for a woman. Why? The answer was simply because it was different. It would always be different too. No matter the situation, it was always going to be different with Historia.
Since their first encounter, there had been a change in Ymir's life. She had never had a relationship like this before. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. It held such complexity yet there was a simple word to define it from an outside point of view. Ymir knew if she asked Ilse. If she asked anyone, for the matter, that they would have one word for it. A word that Ymir didn't want to say herself. Because, honestly, she didn't think it was appropriate. Nor did Ymir want to think about it too much. But she knew. She knew what she felt and she had her answer that day when she stood on a stage in front of a crowd of people and she uttered two simple words to Historia.
"You're beautiful."
They weren't the expected words when it came to a confession but it was a confession nonetheless. With emotion that had weight to it. But after that confession, there was a period of silence between Historia and Ymir. The last thing Historia had told her after that was goodbye. And for a while, Ymir thought that was the end. But of course, when she least expected, life wanted to surprise her and Historia ended up literally stumbling into her arms one day. And well….now they were here. Closing her eyes, Ymir clenched her jaw. Historia was living with her now. At least, temporarily. And the two of them had to talk. About everything. About Historia. About herself. About them. Because talking was the solution that neither of them even wanted to use. Ymir just finally decided to take it and she'd be the first to take action. After so many months….
Now Ymir just had to figure out a way to get to that point. Logically it should be simple as it sounds, just sit down and talk about it. How hard could that be? Ymir found it quite difficult. Considering the context of their relationship and the way the two interact with each other, the brunette knew it couldn't be that easy. She was going to have to put the two of them in a more light-hearted environment before they get serious. Just imaging the tension that would sprout if she sat at the dining table and asking Historia if they could talk, was enough of Ymir's stomach to clench in a sickening way. If she were Historia, she would immediately run out of the room in anxious fear.
Why did you decide to say those words then? Ymir scrubbed at her face, thinking back to that night when she let her emotion get the best of her and it spewed out of her mouth before she could properly speak. The brunette and blonde had just finished singing together. Why did they even sing in the first place? Oh...right. Ymir's eyes widened in realization and she found herself sitting on a barstool, brooding. Historia had then suddenly gotten into her space and they were talking to each other at a close distance. So close that Ymir felt Historia's sweet breath on her skin. The way her lips had ghosted the shell of her ear. The brunette shuddered. Ymir had been expecting Historia to say something but she ended up giving a delicate sigh instead. It was because of something Ymir had said….it was because she repeated what Historia told her. Friends…
Ymir sat up.
"Friends, friends, friends," The freckled woman knocked on the side of her forehead, trying to recall her memories. "Frie….Friends!" She exclaimed in a whisper. The figure of a pregnant woman with a bright smile and eyes filled her mind. Sasha! That was her answer. That was Ymir's answer.
The brunette, without rationally thinking, hopped off the couch and scrambled to put on her shoes and a coat. Opening the front door and making sure to lock it, Ymir fled her apartment complex and headed on a familiar path.
The early morning cold nipped at her fingertips, her ears, her nose, and cheeks. She kept running, almost slipping a few times on the pavement due to autumn's chill. When she turned the corner, Ymir skidded to a stop in front of a familiar restaurant. Her chest heaved at the effort of her run. A cloud of air billowed out of her mouth. She sniffed and stared at the front door, seeing a Sorry, we're closed! sign hanging lopsided. Ymir's shoulders slumped and smacked herself in frustration.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" The tall woman scolded herself. "What were you thinking?! It's too early, the sun is barely starting to rise, you absolute dipshi-!"
"Ymir?"
The mentioned brunette swerved around. Nicolo and Sasha stood there in her line of vision. Sasha had an arm locked with her husband's and a hand on her swollen stomach. Nicolo had the restaurant's keys hanging from his other hand and staring at Ymir through narrowed eyes. The married couple looked perplexed.
Ymir's cheeks flushed. "Uhh...Hey cowgirl and cowboy."
Sasha's lips curved into a frown and she raised an unamused eyebrow. "As much as it's good to see you, I'd prefer if you stop with the nicknames."
"No, can do, sorry buck-a-roo," Ymir said in an effort to subside her embarrassment. It had actually been a while since she last saw these two. And their last interaction wasn't exactly a friendly one either. "Why are you guys here so early?"
"I think that's a question we should be asking you," Nicolo unlatched himself from Sasha and moved to open the front door. He didn't flip the sign as he walked in, and held the door open for the two women to walk inside. "So, what are you doing here?"
"I...I need help," Ymir said, getting straight to the point. She looked at the couple with a crooked grin and rubbed the back of her neck. "And I came here to apologize." While that wasn't exactly the main reason why she came, it was better to say it now instead of later.
Sasha's eyebrows furrowed and she tilted her head. "What for?"
"Last time…" Ymir shrugged. "I just left without a word."
Sasha's expression darkened and her gaze shifted downwards. "So did Historia..."
"W-well, that's why I am here, cowgirl."
Her expression lit up again and this time the brunette seemed unbothered by the name. "Historia? You saw her?"
"She's living with me," Ymir informed.
Both Nicolo and Sasha cracked a grin and Sasha elbowed her husband. "See, what did I tell ya?"
"Wait, no, nothing like that!" Ymir waved her hands before they assumed anything.
"Whaaaaat?" Sasha drawled in disappointment. "No fun."
"Don't be like that."
"Like what? You're the one who has Historia livin with ya and you're not even dating!"
"We're just frie-"
Sasha quickly leaned forward and pointed a threatening finger at Ymir. "Don't ya dare finish that sentence, madam! You and me both know that isn't true."
Ymir raised her hands and took a step back. "Listen, I just have a question."
"Shoot."
"Are you two having any sort of event this week?" Ymir asked and then added with a mutter, "Other than karaoke."
"What's so bad about karaoke?"
"Remember what happened last time, love?" Nicolo chimed in, reminding his wife of that night.
Sasha's mouth formed a perfect 'o' shape and she nodded in understanding. "Well…" She rubbed her chin and shared a glance with her husband. "In a week from now, we're having a Christmas movie night for families. Of course, it's a kid's movie but after that, we're closing the restaurant and not allowing minors in after 9 pm for a holiday drinking trivia game."
At the mention of drinking, Ymir made a face. Well… A part of herself didn't trust herself but then she shook her head in determination. You can control yourself. Besides, a little alcohol would ease the tension. She took a deep breath. Yeah, self-control…
"Good enough," Ymir said.
"So, what exactly is the plan?"
…
When she opened the door and immediately saw Ymir, she peered over her shoulder. "Might as well get rid of that car of yours if you're just going to walk everywhere," Mikasa commented, stepping aside to allow the freckled woman inside her house. "Where were you?"
"Uhhhh, planning," Ymir replied, realizing she had left Mikasa alone this morning to work out by herself. She doubted that Mikasa was bothered by it, but she could have been decent enough to tell the black-haired beauty that she wasn't going to make it.
Looking towards the dining table, Ymir caught sight of Eren and Carly shoveling food into their mouths. They both perked up when they saw her and raised an arm in unison as a greeting. "Hey, Ymir!" Eren spluttered through a mouthful of breakfast.
Mikasa pinched the bridge of her nose. "Eren, please don't speak with your mouth full. You could choke. Even your daughter knows better."
Carly beamed, wiping her hands with a napkin. She hopped off her chair. Ymir welcomed her with open arms and she felt her insides warm at the embrace. A familiar sadness wanted to well up as she recalled a memory of her own child. The brunette forced it down and squeezed Carly tightly before letting her go back to eating breakfast.
"Can I have some?" Ymir asked, as she made her way into the kitchen and spotted a coffee pot with remaining coffee in it. Eren nodded his approval, giving Ymir the initiative to rummage through their cabinets and grabbing a coffee cup.
"What's the occasion?" Eren said, in context to her random visit. Carly, who sat beside him, looked curiously as she finished off her meal.
Ymir gave a look at Mikasa for a moment, who stared back emotionless. She took a drink from her cup, feeling the warm bitter drink burn the back of her throat. The freckled woman explained her intentions and plan. Lately, Ymir had been talking more to Mikasa, due to Eren's busy schedule. But by his relaxed appearance, he must have the day off. She couldn't recall ever mentioning Historia to Eren but assumed Mikasa had possibly informed him. For good measure, Ymir gave some context for Eren to understand and explained her plan. Even though she was doing this to get Historia to relax and have a good time, she also realized that this upcoming night could be enjoyable if things went well.
"Carly could come for a bit too," Ymir added, telling the couple about the restaurant's Christmas family movie showing. Her gold eyes met Carly's energetic emerald ones and she gave a sorry smile. "I don't think I'll be there that early though."
Carly's expression seemed crestfallen for the briefest of moments before she cracked a wide grin and tugged at Mikasa's sleeve. "Can we go? Can we go? Pretty pleeeasse?
"It sounds like a good idea to me," Eren added.
Mikasa rubbed her temples. "Carly can go," She said and then sent a warning glare at Eren. "But I don't know about you. You, Ymir, and alcohol do not mix well together."
Ymir lifted her chin at an angle and offered a smirk. The comment left a slight sting in her chest but she knew that Mikasa had a point. "You can trust us."
"Yeah, besides Ymir has her girlfriend to keep her under control," Eren reassured.
Carly's head shot up like a dog who just heard their favorite squeaky toy. "Ymir has a girlfriend?"
"No," The freckled woman felt her cheeks flare and she took another drink of coffee in hopes to hide her blush. "I do not."
"So, you're not dating?" Eren said, genuinely confused.
Mikasa snorted, shaking her head. "The lack of intelligence you both have is quite concerning."
"What is your girlfriend like? Is she pretty? When can I get to meet her?" Carly rushed to Ymir and grabbed her wrist, pulling eagerly.
Ymir resisted the urge to spit out of her coffee and placed the cup on the counter to prevent a mess from happening. She flicked Carly's forehead. "She's not my girlfriend." The words were more bitter than the flavor of coffee in Ymir's mouth. As much as that flame of desire burned in her, she had to put it aside. For now.
"Wait, wait, wait," Eren snapped his fingers and pointed one towards her. "I get it now. This whole plan is your way of trying to get into her pants."
"Eren!" Mikasa exclaimed, looking towards Carly and appearing truly aggravated.
"Get into her pants?" Carly echoed, her gaze flicking between every adult in the room.
"I wish," Ymir couldn't help but mutter.
"Huh?"
"Get out of my house," Mikasa growled, moving towards Ymir and grabbing her shoulder. She went for Eren's ear and she guided the two towards the front door.
"Hey! This is my house too!" Eren yelped childishly.
Ymir grinned to herself despite Mikasa's steel grip.
…
"Hold still," Historia ordered as Ilse twitched uncomfortably.
"I haven't done this since Ymir," Ilse replied, inhaling sharply.
Historia ignored the comment, trying not to think too much about it. Moving her fingers, she worked nimbly and swiftly.
"Ah," Ilse gasped. "Watch it."
"Maybe you should keep quiet instead," Historia warned, using her free hand to trace Ilse's face and lift her chin. "You talking makes this hard."
"That's not the only thing that's hard~."
Historia scoffed and used her palm to smack Ilse lightly. "That doesn't even make sense."
Ilse snickered. "I know."
When Historia woke up, Ymir had already been gone. She had been disappearing without a word for the past few days. Just like Ilse said she did. After she came back one day, looking happy and motivated, she had been disappearing in the early hours of the day. Historia ended up being left home alone with her roommate. While there was tension between the both of them, Historia had slowly been enjoying Ilse's company more and more. The even more amusing part was Ymir's dumbstruck face every time the two of them bickered. She looked so hesitant to get between Historia and Ilse as if she wasn't sure if they were serious or not. And if Historia was to be absolutely honest, sometimes she didn't know either. Ilse had the day off and out of nowhere, she had a rather surprising request for Historia. Of course, in a decent manner, Historia accepted and knew she had nothing better to do anyways.
"Here, I'm done," The blonde held up a mirror for Ilse to see her reflection. Recalling old memories, rehashed her makeup talents and put them to use on Ilse. While Ilse was in no way ugly, Historia worked on her boyish looks to make her look more feminine. She was rather satisfied with the outcome. "What do you think?"
Ilse studied herself in the mirror and then countered, "What do you think?"
"I like it."
"Then I like it," Ilse smiled. "The question is, will he like it?"
"He would be an idiot if he didn't," She comforted.
The warmth swimming in Ilse's eyes was enough to make Historia's heart stutter. Historia had never met Onyankopon in person, from what she heard from Ilse, he seemed like a good guy. She was glad for Ilse. Truly so. She loved him. Even if the dark-haired girl didn't admit it out loud. They had a date tonight and Historia felt as if this night would definitely solidify their relationship.
"What's on your mind?" Ilse asked, her journalist eyes analyzing Historia's expression.
"I am just happy for you," Historia shrugged.
"Hm," Ilse hummed, a gleam in her eyes. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Standing up from her place on the stool, she stretched. "Well, now it's your turn."
"For what?"
"Love."
"W-what?"
Ilse chuckled lightly. "You and Ymir."
Historia flushed and looked away. "We're just friends."
"Please, por favor, Historia don't give me that bullcrap," Ilse rolled her eyes. Placing her hands on Historia's shoulders, she shook her lightly. "You guys are so awkward with each other that I am about to tear my hair out."
"You shouldn't do that," Historia said, adding humor in her tone as an effort to deflect the situation.
"You're right, I'll just tear yours out instead," Ilse moved her arm to go for the woman's golden locks but Historia stopped her by gripping her wrist. "Come on, Historia. Why are the two of you beating around the bush?"
"It's….complicated," Her words were heavy in confession. Immediately the image of Porco flashed through her mind and Historia inhaled sharply. Her heart rate increased and she felt a chill course through her veins and crept onto her skin. His ghost still haunted her. He haunted her in her dreams. In her vision, at every corner of her eye. Her bones ached in familiar pain. Her scars suddenly flared to life. Historia's eyes thickened with tears and she fought the urge to let them out.
"Does Ymir know?" Ilse repeated the question she asked once more. A question she seemed to repeat often in hopes to push Historia over.
"N-no." She didn't dare to look at Ilse.
"What are you doing? You guys have to talk."
"I….you wouldn't understand."
"Maybe not. But she would."
"Would she?"
"Historia…"
"Ilse."
"Look at me."
Historia obeyed. The expression that Ilse wore was emotional and she could sense the caring nature she had towards Ymir...and towards her.
"You'll be surprised," Ilse informed, looking directly into Historia's orbs. "It's not my job to tell you, but Ymir has a story of her own. Probably something that might come to you as a shock. And no matter what you tell her, she won't judge. Because she knows she has no right to. She's done things that she shouldn't have done, mistakes that haunt her to this day…and she hates herself for it. I've known Ymir for a long time now and if she allowed you into her life, she….." Ilse paused and faltered for a moment. "Talk to her. Both of you, just...need to talk."
Before Historia could say anything or even think about what Ilse told her, a click at the front door and the creak of its opening, made the two of them jolt. Autumn's cold slipped through the opening and enwrapped itself around Historia's body. She turned away from Ilse and directed her attention. Ymir walked in, looking a little perplexed and concerned as she saw them.
"Am I, uh, interrupting something?" The brunette asked, hanging up her coat and closing the door. Her smile was uneasy and her shoulders stiff.
"Where were you?" Ilse asked, separating herself from Historia and striding towards the taller woman with a stern expression.
"Uhhhhhhh, work," Ymir answered, her gold eyes drifting towards Historia. "What's with your look?"
"Thanks for the compliment," Ilse cast a glance at Historia and rolled her eyes. "For your information, it's for a date. Historia helped me out. Am I pretty?" She asked mockingly, fluttering her eyelashes.
"So you and Onyan are a thing now?" Ymir ignored the teasing and offered a nod of acknowledgment towards Historia. Historia felt her chest grow heavy and suddenly everything Ilse said flooded her mind. Her cheeks reddened and she quickly got up for a drink of water.
"No," Ilse deadpanned.
"Okay, fuck you too then."
"Wow, aggressive," Ilse frowned, lightly kicking Ymir's leg.
"She wasn't a bother, was she?" Ymir said, directing her words toward Historia. "I am sorry for leaving her alone with you."
"She could have been worse," Historia shrugged, sipping her water. She made her way around the kitchen island and went to stand beside Ilse. Despite her efforts of "playing" it cool, the blonde's heart was racing wildly. "What's up with you?"
"I actually wanted to ask you something."
"Please be a date, please be a date," Ilse closed her eyes, whispering under her breath.
Historia felt pink dust her cheeks and her ears go scarlet. She shifted her foot to stomp on Ilse's toes. The journalist's sucked in a yelp.
Ymir rubbed the back of her neck, a slight blush of her own as if she heard what Ilse said. "I w-was going to ask if you wanted to join my friend and me tomorrow at Nicolo's and Sasha's restaurant."
The blond straightened at the mention of their names and felt a pang of guilt well up inside her. Before she could say anything though, Ilse interrupted. "You guys are too frustrating. I am leaving." She went to gather her stuff and immediately left, leaving the two of them alone.
"What's her problem?" Ymir stared at the front door momentarily before directing her golden orbs towards Historia's blue ones.
"Things aren't going her way," Historia vaguely stated.
Ymir made an expression of confusion but also displeasure. Shaking her head, she gestured her hands. "So, care to join me? It's going to be quite festive. Sasha really wants to see you too also."
"How could I say no to that?" Historia smiled softly. Ymir gave a rather dorkish grin in reply.
"It's a date, then." Ymir's eyes then widened as she realized what she said. "I mean, er, uh, uhhhhh, I didn't mean it like that. I meant like a friendly outing and stu-"
Historia couldn't help but laugh. Because for someone who always appeared intimidating, Ymir was as awkward as a newborn fawn. Historia knew that Ilse was right. They had to talk. Historia had to tell Ymir everything.
...
Author's Note: Hey-o guys. Wanted to give a quick thanks to everyone who's been reading this. I appreciate everyone who's read this story, reviewed, favorited and followed. Every review is enough encouragement for me to continue on. I am sorry that I don't update often enough but what can I say, other than life is hectic. Thanks again to everyone. I have a feeling you all will appreciate the next chapter. ;)
Until Then, Zouboss.
