AN: I'm back. I drank some motivation juice and decided to post on Friday the 13th. Well, it's gone midnight where I live, so it's the 14th now.
Levi reads a book 😂
...
Levi
The same dream comes to me that night — one of two white doves as they land upon my window ledge outside.
They peck desperately at the glass, trying to reach me inside, but I keep them out lest all the painful memories return.
I know who they are… But I won't dare open up that old wound; I'd die of blood loss within ten seconds.
In fact, ever since my final conversation with Erwin in Shiganshina, I've never been able to stop seeing the faces of my fallen comrades, but I keep them at a distance. Any closer and they'll destroy me…
Unlike the queen, I prefer to keep my emotions locked away deep in a vault and throw away the key. To hell with letting old wounds bleed.
I know what the queen's trying to do; she's trying to get me to open up so she can see the human side at last. That was why she used sweet talk, and damn she was good, batting those pretty long eyelashes while speaking to me in that soft baby voice. I thought I was better than that.
She really does possess a natural charm, and no wonder people, children, and animals gravitate towards her. I even saw her singing to a bluebird the other day, and I almost smiled.
But I won't let that happen (smiling actually hurts my cheeks). It took me years to create this cold front. I won't let all that hard work go to waste because of some cute, blonde queen.
Yet, when that adorable little girl threw her arms around her, I lost my cool and had to leave the room.
I spluttered like a pansy, and I hate pansies…
If only I had a titan to kill right about now so I could restore my manliness, but we killed them all…
Fuck.
I don't even know where these sudden feelings have come from. I've known Historia for two years, but she was a scrawny little kid back then whose eyes were too big for her face. That was all I could see... And when I passed on Erwin's order for her to become the next queen, and she actually had the gall to say no (like it was even a choice), then she became a useless brat who I had to shake about.
Now I'm noticing insignificant things, like the way her blonde hair falls in front of her face, or how her eyes light up every time she plays with the children. Plus, she's not so scrawny these days, and she has actually started to resemble a woman in all the right places. Her eyes are still big, but I'll let that one pass.
Even her voice is doing things to me lately — unspeakable things…
When I first met her, I thought her squeaky tone was grating, but it's matured somewhat, and now she sounds like a soft, breathy-voiced goddess.
It's enough to drive a man insane.
I shouldn't feel this way. I'm old enough to be her father, goddammit. But I will uphold my duty as her knight and do my job to keep her safe.
So far, we've not had any trouble. No one has come to murder the queen, but I'll be ready...
We shouldn't let our guard down too much. I've been a little lax in my duties lately, teaching the kids how to clean the house and whatnot, but somebody has to teach them. How do they expect to get through life if they can't clean the underside of a table?
It's done wonders for Eren after all.
Then there was the time they asked me to play "tag". A game where brats touch each other basically.
Disgusting.
I said no, of course, despite how much they begged, so I just yanked my sword out again, and they all cheered.
Anything to stop them crying.
Ever since the dishes incident in the kitchen, I've kept my distance from the queen. Yet I don't fail to notice that sad, lingering gaze she gives me when I walk away from her, and I feel like the world's biggest asshole.
My feelings are definitely returned. Of that much, I'm absolutely positive. Her big, pretty eyes convey all her child-like emotions after all (and not so child-like, too, for that matter). She is an adult now. So she must have finally grasped where babies come from.
Ackerman and Arlert left a few days ago, and the gloomy brat had had a look of pure triumph on her scarred face when she rode away.
I have to give it to her. She did something for Tilly that neither the queen nor I could have ever achieved.
I wish I knew what passed between them the moment they looked into each other's eyes. Mutual understanding, compassion, grief. The list is endless, and no wonder the child was so withdrawn.
I was barely alive myself after my own mother's passing and was pretty prepared to waste away, but a very different Ackerman found me in the end, and I turned out to be a cold-blooded thug. Then a hardened soldier much, much later…
Thank god we got Tilly out of that hellhole. She would have had to become the very same way in order to survive, or she'd have perished. Now she can finally live a life that all children deserve, and become an upstanding member of society.
I enjoyed having my squad members around for a few weeks. It gave the farmhouse a sense of normality, and an excuse to keep my distance from the queen.
But now that they're gone, avoiding her completely has become a challenge. I'm supposed to be protecting her, yet I try to find every opportunity to keep away. Not easy in a house full of brats.
Luckily, Ackerman left the cat, so they've all forgotten about me now, chasing its furry little ass around the house instead. Hange had ordered that Erwin the II should stay with me and Historia for a little while longer as we will need his 'guidance', and I scoffed at the ridiculousness of it.
She still thinks that cat is a reincarnation of the ex-commander, and it's getting old now.
I stay up in my room in the farmhouse as I gaze out the window. Historia reads a book to the kids beneath a tree at the far end of the yard. I told her to sit where I would have a good view of her and the children after all.
I hate doing absolutely nothing. I know this is my new role now, but it's been two years since we had any real action. It's wrong of me to wish for conflict in a time of relative peace, but it gets kind of boring after a while.
Seven years of my life I dedicated to the war against the titans. Seven long years… I don't know how to do anything else. Fighting is all I know, but I've kept myself busy with the construction of the port, and meeting outsiders from beyond the wall.
A part of me wished I could have gone back with my squad, but I will not abandon my duty. I took an oath before God himself, even though I've never been the religious type.
Whoever orchestrated Historia's assassination could still be at large. Nile Dok has yet to report back to us. Not that I considered him reliable in the first place.
I just wished I'd brought some ODM gear. I wouldn't have had any use for it, of course, but I bet the children would have loved to see me perform some neat tricks on the roof of the farmhouse.
Wait… since when have I ever cared about what the kids think of me, anyway?
My sullen face reflects in the fading light of the setting sun as I keep an eye on the queen. She's gotten to a good part in the story because she waves her hands around animatedly, and the kids react in response. Little Krista bounces on her lap.
I can't take my eyes off her as she reads to those adorable orphans. How could anything so perfect be real? Of all the things she could be doing right now as our beloved queen… yet she would rather spend her days at the farm keeping those babes safe. It's too much for my battered, old heart to take.
She's almost like one of the characters in her books, and that stupid, foreign warmth invades my chest again.
If God does exist, then he was definitely having a field day when he dreamed her up. Although she was born from sin—hey, she's not the only one there— he couldn't have created a more lovable creature.
I've seen her stop babies crying with that sweet, shining smile…
The queen's eyes move up to the window next and my heart stops for a moment. How long have I been staring?
Next, she flashes a wide, dazzling smile then waves up at me, and the children all follow her gaze. I move away from the window before they all see me.
My tea has gone cold anyway.
I set the cup down on the table, grabbing a hold of the teapot, and that's when my eyes fall on the book.
"Her Brave Knight…" I say aloud.
What the hell was I thinking when I stole it from the queen's room? It's probably just some gushy shit about love and chivalry.
I'll take blood, guts, and action any day.
Yet I snatch it up and flick to the first page, and I was right. The first sentence even starts with "Once Upon a Time…"
However, I don't stop reading.
Once Upon a Time, there was a beautiful queen who yearned for a brave knight. So she searched the entire kingdom until she found the perfect one…
What bullshit. This really is just going to be some namby-pamby crap, isn't it?
Her Brave Knight had hair of dark, midnight black, and eyes of the most piercing grey...
I raise a brow. That's actually how I look. Well, at least I did the last time I checked a mirror…
… he wasn't very tall, but he was the strongest in the whole land, and had slain many a beast or giant…
My eyes protrude. This is getting strange now… yet I can't stop.
Short of temper as well as stature, the queen's Brave Knight wasn't the most lovable of characters and was even said to have never smiled, but deep down he had a heart of gold…
"Tch. What do you know, shitty author?"
Despite his stony exterior, the queen loved him dearly and invited him into her bed-chamber many a wintry night…
Well, things just took a sharp, drastic turn…
Although cold on the outside, the Brave Knight certainly knew how to warm his queen's bedsheets…
I crush the book in my fingers, and now my breathing accelerates.
On the contrary... One may even say he was a natural when it came to warming his queen's sheets. Especially when he would bow his head, and explore her wet sheath with his…"
I drop the book, and my heart thrums in my ears. I'm drenched in sweat as I yank on my cravat, gasping for air.
So… it's that kind of book…
Shit.
Something erects inside my breeches next, and it's definitely not my sword anymore. I squeeze my eyes tight, hoping it will disappear.
Fuck. I must think of disgusting, appalling things… Dusty tables, blood-stained blades, and a broken teacup.
The sensation finally goes away, and I release a heavy breath, running a hand through my midnight black hair.
Why did I have to read that book?
I move over to the teapot and pour myself tea to take my mind off things, and I try to avoid looking outside the window.
How am I going to look at her again?
The floorboards creak next and I shift my gaze towards the door, meeting that shiny, black eye.
I gawp in surprise.
It's Tilly…
Neither one of us speaks. We just stare at each other for some time, and it's like we're frozen in time.
I'm too afraid to move. I feel like I've just encountered a baby deer in the woods, and I don't want to scare it away.
I can't mess this up, but I have no idea what to do or what to say. All the while she keeps that inquisitive gaze on me, and I notice how different her eyes appear lately. They're exploring now, and it's like she wants to learn of every little facet in her environment.
This was all Ackerman's doing, and I have to throw my hat off to the gloomy brat again. The child can actually look me in the eyes now.
She's still cautious as she won't step into the room. But I see her moving her lips, trying to find the courage to say something, but her words won't come.
It hurts to watch.
Finally, she shuts the door, and I breathe a sigh. Well, it's progress in the least.
My attention is drawn to the sound of shuffling paper next, and I gasp when I spot that drawing. When I approach the door though, I hear her on the other side squeak, and then the sound of her little feet follows soon after.
I'm used to it by now…
Curiously, I lean down and pick up the drawing she left me. My eyes bulge.
It's me holding two doves.
AN: Do you know who the two doves are in Levi's dreams? Have you seen the end of No Regrets? Good. Then you may know.
Her Brave Knight wasn't even that dirty, but bear in mind this is the age where people kept erotica in socks drawers (where they rightfully belong). You've probably read dirtier stuff. I have too (two words, Reverse Harem). I've written dirtier stuff... I was trying to write like an old-fashioned author to fit in with the timeline of AoT, and plus it had to have that fairytale theme.
I won't give up on this fanfic, so stick around. I just love these characters, and I wish there was more of this ship. I'm just obsessed with AoT in general. It got me over a painful breakup. Levi got me over a painful breakup. That face could cure cancer.
I strongly suggest you read the next few chapters after this. It's one of the reasons why I won't give up. This fic has barely even started yet. It gets... really good. It was at that point my fingers couldn't keep up. I was at the edge of my seat.
Take care of yourselves too wth the Covid-19 virus going around, and stay healthy and safe.
CartoonPrincessSigning Off.
