Author's note: I truly recommend listening to a song while reading this chapter, because the lyrics of this song is just too perfect for their story. Might as well be the alternate title of this whole story. I wish I heard of it before I started writing this story, but no regrets here. The song is "All I Want" by Kodaline. While I like Deanna Johnson's version a lot, for this chapter, you will appreciate the original one more. So please listen to that version, then listen to Deanna Johnson's version (if you'd like). Make sure not to miss the mini side extra story link in the endnotes.


Chapter IX: All I Want

All I want is nothing more

To hear you knocking at my door

'Cause if I could see your face once more

I could die as a happy man I'm sure


It has to be perfect.

That seemed to be the mantra in the heads of everyone who had gathered. From the polished abalone shell floor, to the bouquets of forget-me-nots, bachelor's buttons and asters adorning each table along with tiers of quaint cakes and pastries - everything has to be perfect. Velvet seafoam-green banners were hung against each Corinthian column, the crest of the house - a golden trident framed by the raging ocean waves – embroidered.

The servants were not spared from such high expectations and scrutiny. Everything had to be impeccable, for it was expected from a main house. Well, it was what the nobles expected from a main house. For the suzerains and heirs of the foreign districts, it was such a minor detail amongst many things.

"I had hoped to see those two before the celebrations began," was the disgruntled remark.

"One of them is the celebrant and the other has to make his entrance with his family. You should not have expected too much."

"I have to side with William this time, Michael. I too hoped to see Perseus and Niccolò."

"You are only siding with William this time because your curiosity has gotten the best of you, Leshem," was the amused response as Lord Apollo wrapped his arms around his sons' shoulders, his eyes alight with mirth.

Instead of reacting with shame, the first son looked at their father, matching his amusement with his own.

"Do not fool us, Father. You had also hoped to see them, especially the son of Hades," Leshem countered, causing their father to back off and raise his hands in a placating manner as a sign of defeat.

It would be pointless to deny that accusation, and he saw no point in having to lie. He had his hopes too, but there was something rewarding about having to wait. There was something rewarding about having events unfold simultaneously right before his eyes. And so, he waited while taking in the world beyond the borders of his district.

It had been a long while since he ventured outside, too preoccupied with taking care of his own people once the revolution ended. In a sea of familiar faces, it was as if time stood still. He could pretend that he was not getting old; that he was not slowly wasting away as he aged. There was something about being surrounded by unfamiliar faces - old and young - that was a harsh wake-up call.

His children had seen the world more than he had. His children learned more of the world than he had. As for him? He "loved". He "loved" his children's mothers to some extent, hoping he could project what he had with a dead lover to any of them. But when Hyacinthus died, he took Apollo's world with him. He "loved" so he could forget, and to some extent he did forget. He forgot that a world exists beyond the borders of his district. He forgot how short life was. He forgot what "love" truly was beyond the notions.

Perhaps, that was why he was invested in the sons of Hades and Poseidon. For he saw what his world had been... and what it was now.

"Is there a line we must stand in, in order to meet them? Because I am rather an impatient man, so you would have to forgive me if I want to meet them at my own time," a new voice cut into the conversations, causing the sons of Apollo and the man himself to turn around and face the newcomer.

"Not necessarily. But would it not be courteous of you if you would allow an older gentleman to be granted an audience first?" The suzerain responded with ease.

"Would it not be a good example for the younger generation if said older gentleman would give way? As a sign that the older generation mutually respects the younger and treat them as their equal," was the smooth, amused reply.

Apollo heaved a small sigh, casting a fleeting, distasteful glance at Hermes' successor and other children. There was not a single one of them that did not remind him of the suzerain of Anemoi. It was amusing, yet disturbing at the same time.

"Lucas Theodosios Castellan. Why am I not even surprised to find you here?" Apollo drawled, extending his hand towards the younger male which Luke took without hesitance. Leshem extended the same gesture out of formalities while his younger brothers laid back.

"The invitation was - surprisingly - extended to all districts, if I remember correctly. Rather a bold move from Lord Poseidon. Too bold for him to have decided on that, if you would ask me," Luke answered, a frown marring his features. There was guardedness in his eyes as he occasionally made cursory glances around the room.

Apollo neither agreed nor disputed the statement, for he himself has his own uncertainties with such a large gathering. There was something about the thirteen districts being in one place - regardless if some were merely representatives that was foreboding. Or perhaps, it was just the idea of Ouranós and Pólemos in the same room that had him - and many others - on edge. He could not believe that those two districts would accept the invitation, lest make an could not fathom that Poseidon would make such a bold decision on his own in these tense times of a brewing war.

But, if that was not the case, if Poseidon was not the sole person making these "conscious" decisions, who was moving the pieces across the board? (1)

"I, for my part, secured necessary… arrangements before coming here," Apollo responded after a while, dismissing the son of Hermes' latter statement.

"So have we," Luke replied, taking a glass of red wine when one of the servants passed them by. He took another, gesturing for the older suzerain to take. "We came here out of courtesy. But above all, I believe that most of us have gathered here to… assess what is to come."

The suzerain simply hummed. He was not about to deny that that was one of his intentions for coming.

"That may be so, but we are here for a celebration. So celebrate we shall," Apollo declared, taking the glass of wine before he briefly excused himself, walking off and leaving his confused children and the sons of Hermes behind.

He hoped the younger male could forgive his momentary discourtesy, but for once, he did not want to discuss politics. Something about seeing the world again for the first time in a long while had been draining. Life is short, he mused to himself while absent-mindedly greeting the nobles who would approach him and give their greetings. He could not help but think of himself as a fool for the belated realisation; a realisation that was decades too late.


When you said your last goodbye

I died a little bit inside

I lay in tears in bed all night

Alone without you by my side


"Make way for His Majesty, the founding suzerain of our proud district, Thálassa – Lord Poseidon – and his consort, Lady Amphitrite!"

The herald's booming voice silenced the entire hall, the royal families and the nobles alike watching with bated breath as the ceremony started with the introductions of the lords and ladies of the main districts. The nobles lowered their heads out of respect as the suzerain and his consort emerged - hand-in-hand - in their full regalia, descending the long flight of stairs with practiced ease. The crown of Poseidon - his actual crown - was secured atop his head: a pure gold crown with the three prongs of a trident nestled on a bed of carved golden seashells.

"His Highness, Lord Triton – the first son of the suzerain of Thálassa; the future suzerain of Thálassa!"

Said man stepped out with the coldest of expressions on his face. Almost all of the nobles flinched at the sight, their heads bowing much lower. But not out of respect this time, no. It was more out of fear.

"The debutant: His Highness, Lord Perseus Tzákson – the third son of the suzerain of Thálassa!"

Apollo had to stop himself from humming in genuine approval as one of the two people he had been looking forward to seeing finally emerged, donned in his navy blue military uniform. His normally disheveled hair was mostly combed and swept back, the rest framing his face – framing those deep sea-green eyes. A royal blue cape rested against his shoulders, the length reaching past slightly below his knees. The insignia of his family - of his people - rested proudly on the fabric atop his chest.

It reminded Apollo of Poseidon when he was younger; he could see the former vibrance the suzerain had in his third son. He could see all of Poseidon's traits that made him respectable and well-loved by his people. Perseus Tzákson was the spitting image of his father. It was a vision that he could never see in Triton. There was not a sliver of Poseidon's soul that Triton possessed.

"Entering with pride and honor, His Majesty, Lord Zeus and Her Majesty, Lady Hera, of Ouranós. His Highness, Lord Heracles, and Her Highness, Lady Hebe. His Highness, Lord Jason Liam Grace, and Her Highness, Lady Piper Macri!"

The hall was uncomfortably silent as the main family emerged, Lord Zeus and his consort, Lady Hera, leading. It was, in the perspective of the general crowd, an image of a dysfunctional family that was trying too much to seem perfect. The image was all sorts of wrong; from Zeus and Hera being together, to Zeus' children and their respective consorts. Provided, Zeus and Hera were never an ideal couple. Their union had become a mere show at some point, despite that there had never been any love since the beginning.

What stood out most wrong, at least in Apollo's perspective, was Jason Liam Grace and his consort, Piper Macri. They seemed like the ideal couple if one would base it on looks. Jason has this ideal… properness to him whereas Piper has an exotic and rich beauty that could easily make any man turn their heads to her and beg for her attention.

Yet, as ideal as they were, even a blind man could see that their portrayal was just a mere facade. They were together because they looked perfect together, not because it was right for them. Their hands clearly do not belong to each other.

"Entering with pride and honor, His Majesty, Lord Hades, and Her Majesty, Lady Persephone. His Highness and suzerain of Skotádi, Lord Thanatos. Her Highness, Lady Hazel Marie Levesque. His Highness, Lord Niccolò di Angelo!"

The hall remained silent, but it was not out of unease at this point. When Hades descended the steps with his wife in their full regalia, there was merely indifference in those dark eyes. It did not demand submission or obedience. It was just… calm. The same could be said for Persephone, a faint professional smile gracing her lips, but it did not seem to be forced. Despite his… shortcomings to his wife, Apollo mused, Hades was much faithful in comparison to Poseidon and Zeus. The former suzerain actually loves his wife beyond anything; beyond his district, his people and even his children. Which was why he and Persephone remained together. Not out of obligation, image or reputation, but out of mutuality in love and care. And unlike Poseidon and Zeus, Hades treated his children equally - regardless if they were his and Persephone, or his and another woman outside of their espousal.

Their children followed shortly and emerged into the room, causing all the nobles to raise their heads. Not out of disrespect, but with an awe that they could not hope to mask. There was… cohesion in their family; a familial bond that was all too fragile in the other two. There was no facade; there was not an act for mere show. For once, it was not a repulsive, deceiving sight.

"You have outdone yourself, Father," Will drawled in a low voice, his lips stretching to a breathless smile as he took in awe the form of the second son of Hades.

"I know I have, my boy," Apollo answered, immense pride and satisfaction lacing his voice. There was not a single person who was not entranced with Hades' second son at the moment. On the back of his mind, he considered having overdone it by a mile, implicated by the silent scathing look that Hades directed at him for a second. By no means were Hades' legitimate children not beautiful, but the second son was unintentionally selfish.

It was utterly ridiculous how picture-perfect the three appeared as they descended down the steps, Hazel's delicate hands encompassed in the hands of an angel and the devil. Thanatos always had that regality that spoke volumes of him as an heir; as a suzerain. He had a presence and the looks that naturally drew the attention of people in, especially more so now that he was in his full military regalia. Hazel and her other brother had always been mere wallflowers, hiding in their brother's shadow. But in that moment, Niccolò - without hesitance - stepped out.


But if you loved me

Why'd you leave me?

Take my body

Take my body


He adorned a gold polished white dashiki turtleneck tailcoat suit, embroidered patterns spread across the dark olive green fabrics like golden vines. A gold rope secured a plain dark olive green brocade cape on one of his shoulders, wounding firmly around his chest. The cape fluttered against his side with each step, almost as if it were an extension of himself. His normally unkempt hair was brushed and smoothed down, framing his features in loose, silken curls. And more so, they framed his russet-brown eyes so delicately as if they were the most precious jewels.

Niccolò di Angelo did not step out as a soldier to his district, or a servant to this district. He stepped out as the Ambassador of Skotádi. He stepped out as a rightful heir. He stepped out as himself . It was not an acknowledgment solely of himself, Apollo realized as he let his eyes glance around the hall. Children of Hermes, of Athena and of Hephaestus lowered their heads in respect, but Apollo was certain that it was a gesture of respect mostly directed to that one special heir.

"But, it is not the clothes that have worked wonders," Apollo continued after a while, eyes alight with mirth as those russet brown eyes fixed onto sea-green eyes that were very much filled with overwhelming awe and adoration. Neither eyes left the other. "It's the person."

It was Niccolò di Angelo's acceptance of himself, Apollo thought. It was him embracing all the world has to offer.

It was, at that moment, Niccolò di Angelo feeling liberated.


All I want is

All I need is


"May the deities of Palaiá Rómi and Paliá Elláda bestow countless blessings upon you."

"Blessed be thee by the goddess Hygieia, daughter of the god Vejovis and the goddess Epione, benevolent goddess of health. Bestow your protection and power unto thy child."

"Blessed be thee by the goddess Minerva, daughter of the god Jupiter and the goddess Metis, benevolent goddess of wisdom. Bestow your protection and power unto thy child; enlighten the irresolute mind for the time that is to come."

"Blessed be thee by the goddess Laetitia, benevolent goddess of joy, gaiety, and celebration. Bestow your protection and power unto thy child; may the future behold boundless happiness and secure the purity of thy soul."

"Blessed be thee by the goddess Abundantia, benevolent goddess of abundance and prosperity. Bestow your protection and power unto thy child."

"Bless thee sweet child of yours, Perseus Tzákson. May the blessings of the Moirai befall upon thee. Bestow your protection and power unto thy child."

"May the blessings and protection of Neptune befall upon thy child. Evlogiménos na eíste."

"Evlogiménos na eíste."

Neptune's blessings seemed to roll off of the son of Poseidon as he rose to his full height. It caught Percy off guard as his father's arms wrapped around his frame a second thereafter, pulling him as much as was physically possible due to the constraints of their uniforms. He could not respond fast enough before his father pulled back, hands still clasping onto his shoulders while looking directly onto his eyes.

"Happy birthday, my son. You have made me proud of how far you have come."

Percy knew that, at that moment, his father was not referring to his service for their district. He was not referring to his duties as a captain or his visitation to other districts as an heir. It was not as if his father never expressed his pride in him, but there was something about him saying so in front of everyone else that had him almost choke up. He did not need to look amongst the crowd to know that Triton was watching their exchange with overwhelming displeasure.

"Thank you, Father," was all Percy could muster to reply.

"Just for today, I have made sure that your brother will not try anything foolish," Poseidon continued in a low voice as he slowly released his son. "It's your birthday and your debut. You should start it off properly with your consort."

Poseidon walked away before his son could respond, amusement curling his lips as he watched his son's flustered expression. Ah, children, he thought to himself. He did not need to ask Percy to know who he would ask for the first dance. He also did not need to ask Percy to know where he and the son of Hades stood when they came back from their - expectedly - extended trip. Children were obvious, were they not? It was too easy to read his son. Or perhaps, it was because Percy is his son that it was so easy to know the course of his actions and train of thoughts.

Percy did not have enough time to dwell on how his father had figured things out between him and Nico as everyone looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to make his move to commence the celebrations. In the sea of unfamiliar faces, it was hilarious how he almost instantly noticed that one person. Was it because he was so attuned to the other? Or was it because Nico was standing out more so than he usually would?

There was no hesitance in his steps as he made his way across the hall. His eyes were solely trained on one person, and he found that the other was equally looking back at him with an unwavering gaze. Percy took confidence in those eyes; and courage, for he could feel everyone, especially Nico's family, looking at him as if he were suddenly an interesting specimen to dissect.

He had always broken the mold, but this was the first time he was doing so publicly. He should feel the need to reconsider - should feel the need to back out at the last minute. But as he extended his hand, he was never more certain that he was finally doing something right.

"Théleis na chorépseis mazí mou? "

The son of Hades was unable to mask his surprise, the words that came from the son of Poseidon's lips were all too familiar for a faint memory gone by. The playful glint in those sea-green eyes spoke volumes - that it was not a mere coincidence that he had said what he had said. He should feel burdened under the weight of the scrutiny of all those gathered around them, but there was a warmth in Percy's eyes that - at that moment - made him feel weightless.

"Eísai polý glykós," Nico breathed with a smile so soft that it almost made Percy cry, and he would care less if that would be perceived as a vulnerability. Nico could pick him to pieces, but as long as it was Nico…

The music started once more, and that was all the cue Nico needed to move. Never had the son of Hades been more certain as he firmly took the hand that was offered to him. And when their hands met, it felt as if they were coming home.


To find somebody

I'll find somebody


"So…" Poseidon did not miss how those intense black eyes narrowed by just a fraction at the sound of his voice. There was no doubt that Hades had expected at some point to be confronted by the other suzerain and absolutely dreaded even the mere thought of it. His eyes never strayed from the sight of the son of Poseidon whose arms were around his son. Perhaps, Poseidon mused, that was the reason why Hades dreaded the thought of Poseidon confronting him.

"Perseus and Niccolò."

If looks could kill, not even ashes would be spared from his remains. It was morbidly intriguing, how one look could burn with such intensity, yet be deathly cold at the same time. It was morbidly intriguing how one look could force a few nosy nobles to subconsciously take a step back regardless that it was not directed at them.

"Why do you act as if you had not seen that coming?" the suzerain of Thálassa guffawed, pointedly ignoring the intensity of the other man's glare as they stood side by side, watching their sons. "From the start, it was bound to happen. There was never one without the other. Even others could see that."

Castellan and his brothers were not too inconspicuous as they broadly grinned like mere children at the sight. Apollo has his hands stretched out victoriously to his sides as his sons begrudgingly handed him pouches of what Hades assumed were filled with drachmas. Even the daughter of Athena who had been once upon a time almost betrothed to Poseidon's son observed fondly. The only 'positive outcome' he could get from the situation was the evident displeasure plastered across Zeus' and Hera's face and the forced neutrality that the second son was barely keeping up.

The former suzerain clicked his tongue at that comment, neither acknowledging nor debating against the other's statements. He had known. Of course, he had always known. He had always known the interests of his children's hearts regardless of how much they tried to conceal said interests from him. He is, after all, their father and that fact alone was a burden for him because it was a bitter reminder that they took certain traits after him; undesirable traits that he would rather they did not have for they were his strengths and his flaws at the same time.

Unfortunately for him, Nico inherited a lot from him.

He did not want that. He wanted his son to be a better person than him, and not relive the mistakes he made. But, as he watched the silent happiness in his son's eyes, perhaps Nico had always been better than him.

"Perseus sure has grown bold over the years," the former suzerain of Skotádi murmured under his breath, audible enough that his small family would hear. Thanatos briefly glanced at his father, noting the manic glint in his eyes as the man critically observed his second son in Perseus Tzákson's arms. His lips faintly twitched as he suppressed the urge to express his humor.

As odd as it may sound, Hades cherishes his children fiercely, despite his incapability of expressing himself accordingly. Hades, especially, holds Nico fondly in his heart, and Thanatos harbored no resentment of that fact. For the truth was that Niccolò di Angelo was the spitting image of his mother, and is the last memory Hades would ever have of her. Perhaps that was one of the few reasons why he never harbored that much resentment for his half-brother. Maria di Angelo was one of the rare few whom his father allowed to see him as a human. Thanatos could not bring it in himself to resent the few things that made his father human. His father is but a mere man, that was something he had come to accept. His father is but a mere man… who has a lot of unconditional and fierce love to give wholeheartedly.

"No, he has been that way ever since," Thanatos responded, unable to keep up his calm facade as he chuckled lowly. Pointedly ignoring the surprised expressions cast towards his direction, honey gold eyes remained transfixed on the captivating display the young heirs were no doubt unaware that they had created, lost in a world of their own.

"But to ask for your son's hand in marriage, in another district's custom nonetheless, that is just suicidal," Thanatos pointed out to his father, whose attention was now completely directed on a topaz zircon and crystal rhinestone brooch - shrouded by the brocade cape - pinned atop the area of his son's heart. (2)

It was beyond amusing to see as understanding fully settled onto his father's face; how those dark eyes slowly became sinister. To an outsider, they would never grasp how endearing the reaction was. Which was why regardless of how the former suzerain reacted, Poseidon merely smiled with pride at his son-... No. Sons.

In a different time, Thanatos thought, that blissful happiness might have been his. In a different time where he was not a mere coward with a facade to keep, that might have been his. In a different life where he was not bound to his duties to his people, that might have been his.

He had long made peace with that naive part of him. For years, it felt as if - along with his naivety - he had buried him with it. Yet, a part of him - a distant, buried, selfish part of him - wished that that happiness was his.


"You stepped on my foot."

"I'm sorry!"

"You stepped on my foot thrice. And each time, I have to cover it up somehow."

The son of Poseidon whined like a kid, flashing Nico that poor baby seal look, as if that would suffice for his forgiveness. It did, but he did not need to tell Percy that in case the older male took advantage of such knowledge.

When the first dance ended, by custom, the second dance was for the members of the thirteen houses, and then the nobles could join only on the third. By the time the second dance was over, they both inconspicuously excused themselves from the throng. Or at least, as much as was possible, given that their presence was prominent due to their attires.

Their privacy was short-lived as members of the other houses came forward to extend their congratulations to the son of Poseidon. From (a smug) Lord Apollo and his (slightly dispirited) sons - Nico guessed they had lost a bet to their father - to the sons of Hermes who playfully gave Percy scandalized looks while glancing back and forth between him and Nico.

It was only when they had finished with the children of Hephaestus that Percy decided to escort the son of Hades to his family. He was not stupid - he knew Nico wanted to see his family after being away from them for months. The brief time he had spent with them during the entrance would not suffice.

Had Nico been stalling? Percy had to question as he looked down at the male by his side. There was nothing in Nico's face that would give him away, but his body at least was more honest. Pointedly ignoring the slightly clammy hand in his, the son of Poseidon led them forward, under the scrutiny of Nico's family.

Percy noticed the absence of the daughter of Hades but did not question it. He and Nico had an idea where Hazel might be, and they could not bear to have ill-feelings of not having her there, especially Nico. Had he been in her position, he did not think he could have the patience that she had - wasting her time to make a public appearance over being with the person she had desperately and tirelessly sought for years.

"I was beginning to assume that you had no plans returning my son to us, Perseus Tzákson. As if it was not enough that you monopolized him for the past few months that he had been away from home," Hades commented oh so casually that it could pass off as a mere commentary. But the intensity of those eyes as they remained fixed on the younger heirs' joined hands forced the son of Poseidon to reluctantly let go of the other's hand.

"And I sincerely hope, for your sake, that you are not expecting a gift or anything from me in the future," Hades continued as those piercing black eyes shifted to stare down at the son of Poseidon. "That would be too greedy of you, considering that you already have something invaluable of mine."

Percy opened his mouth to reply, closed it, then opened his mouth again, but no words would come out. It was amusing to watch, and he would have laughed at it if he was not hung up on what his father said. It did not seem as if Hades was patient enough to wait for the debutant to come up with a decent response.

"Leave us be. I wish to speak to my second son." It was not a request, but an order. It was not solely for the son of Poseidon alone, but for the rest of Hades' family as well.

Even with their positions, Thanatos and Persephone obeyed wordlessly as the young suzerain escorted his mother by the hand for a dance. A faint, supportive smile graced his lips as he passed by his brother, and Nico honestly did not know what that was meant for.

"I'll see you later," Percy breathed after a while, habitually bringing one of Nico's hands to his lips to press a kiss to the back of it before he went off. It was pointless to ask him to stay, Nico concluded, but knowing that if Percy so stubbornly wished to, it would not leave a good impression on his father. It was not as if he left a good impression either way with what he just did, as the former suzerain glared at the son of Poseidon as he walked away.

Hades remained silent even as he and Nico were left on their own, neither daring to break that delicate silence that rested between them. It was not uncomfortable; they had many of these moments, and it was just considered… integral to their family. He tried to fathom for hints of disgust or disappointment in his father's features - in his father's eyes - but there was nothing to discern. It was if he was reading a blank slate.

"No need for you to be so defensive, child. I did not ask for us to be alone to reproach you. You are old enough to make your own decisions," Hades started with a sigh, lips pressed to a thin line. "Besides, this is the first time I've seen you not seek my - or anyone's - approval. I doubt anything I say would waver your decision."

"It would still be nice. To have your approval," the son of Hades clarified, his hands instinctively coming down to twist the skull ring on his thumb. "I thought you would be against it."

I thought the whole world would be against it.

"Neither you nor Tzákson is to succeed over the districts," Hades said with no malice. It was a mere fact, and they both acknowledged that. "In the event that one or both of you should, having an heir should be no issue. We have Entrusted Ladies in our society for a reason."

"But, as my son, I wanted someone better for you. Do not get me wrong, I am not playing favorites. I would wish for someone better for Hazel, and actually someone for Thanatos," Hades declared, pointedly ignoring the wide-eyed expression that his son now had on his face. He waited for Nico to say something, anything, but he was only met with silence and a thousand questions left unspoken and unanswered. It irked the former suzerain for, above all things, it was a quality of himself that his son inherited and was projecting.

"My son," Hades continued, breathing the words out with exasperation. "While I was a suzerain, I will always be your father. I will always want your happiness first and foremost. Nothing you do could ever disappoint me, with the exception of trying to follow the image that I portray. Well, nothing except…"

"I don't want someone better," Nico offered a firm response, in assumption of his father's train of thoughts. "I won't settle for someone else."


'Cause you brought out the best of me

A part of me I'd never seen

You took my soul and wiped it clean

Our love was made for movie screens


"Do you think he is incapable of going astray?" Hades challenged. "He is his father's child. Zeus, Poseidon… even I, we have gone astray and bedded women and men outside our espousal."

Nico considered it for a long while; for years since he started developing these feelings for the son of Poseidon. In the then unlikely event that Percy would choose him, could Percy be faithful to him? And if he could not, how soon would it be for Percy to find a replacement for him? There was nothing he could give to Percy that could make the son of Poseidon stay. He could not offer him family - of children.

Even now, he considered that, a part of him still too cowardly to breach the subject. There is nothing I could give you. And there will come a time when you would realise it, he would often think when those lips would press gently against his and when those arms held him as if he were the most precious thing in Percy's world. But even so, would you still be here with me; would you still love me as you did before?

"You are my son. If Persephone at some point chooses to love someone else, I am not noble enough to let her go despite how I might be perceived as a hypocrite for that decision," the former suzerain admitted, looking down at his son. "Can you let Percy go when that time comes? Rather, would you stay with him even if he has these shortcomings?"

His eyes darkened and became cold at the thought, a bitterness festering in him. Glancing around the hall, his eyes stopped at the form of said son of Poseidon who was then engaged in a conversation with someone who was all too familiar to Nico for the wrong reasons. There was no doubt that she was beautiful, more so in that rose pink tiered tulle dress she wore, with her long curly honey blond hair let loose. She has the most expressive grey eyes he had ever seen, and looking at them change with her mood was as if he was watching the phases of a storm. They looked perfect beside each other. It did not sit well for him to see Percy with her as she was the source of his heartbreak for the past two years, but who was he to dictate how the son of Poseidon chooses to live his life?

He could feel his heart breaking at the sight to some extent, and that must have shown in his face as when Percy turned and caught his eyes, the older heir was stunned for a few seconds before he hurriedly made his way over, which was easier said than done as the nobles stopped the son of Poseidon in his tracks ever so often.

"I will be with him until he tells me to go," Nico decided, a look of resignation in his eyes as he gave his father a definitive answer. There was something frail and vulnerable about those eyes that had Hades looking away. He was not used to it. Maria never looked at him in that way. "But if fate chooses, I will be with him until the end."

Hades suppressed the urge to sigh at the response. He did not expect any less from his son. The former suzerain spared a glance at Zeus' second son - a glance that Nico did not miss as he followed his father's line of sight.

"I suppose you could have done worse," was all Hades said. "Just so you know, unless he formally asks for your hand in marriage, that 'engagement' symbol on your chest means nothing to me."

It was a small victory for the former suzerain to see his son's cheeks flushed in embarrassment, unable to prevent himself from reacting to something that was said all too casually.

"It's not… It's just a gift. It doesn't mean like that at all," Nico grunted, twisting the ring on his finger out of habit.

Are you seeing this, Maria? Our child has grown up to a fine, young man. He looks so much like you. He has become so much like you.

"My dear boy, your consort may be heavily dense at times, but if - especially now - that brooch does not mean what it originally was intended for, how do you expect me to give your hand away to him?"

Deciding to spare his son from further embarrassment, Hades took a step forward with the intent of walking away.

"Be happy, Nico. That is all I ask of you, my son."

Gnawing on his bottom lip, Nico tried to keep his emotions in check as he tried to fix his then disheveled hair as a thin hand - in passing - weaved through and fondly shook it to its naturally unkempt state.


But if you loved me

Why'd you leave me?

Take my body

Take my body


By now, it had become a norm for Nico to be alone.

After his father left, he let his feet drag him wherever it would take him. It did not come as a surprise that he found himself at the balcony, staring out at the celebration in the streets beyond the walls. He wanted to disappear, if only for a few minutes; enough to clear his head of such troublesome thoughts that his father brought up.

If he so wished to be lost in his thoughts, he could pretend that he was back in Ílios; amidst that crowd of people where all his titles and parentage would not matter. But he could only pretend; the celebration behind him - as merry as it was - cutting through his self-delusions.

"Shouldn't the debutant be out there, associating with the people?" Nico stated, not sparing a glance to the presence that lingered behind him. Even if he were blind, there was no doubt in his mind that he would always find the other with him being so attuned to his presence. Not even three seconds later, a pair of sturdy arms wrapped around his waist, enveloping him in warmth.

"The only company I wish to entertain is right here," was the cheeky yet smooth reply.

The son of Hades had to laugh at that; had to find that endearing.

"I'm not going to ask any questions," Nico clarified after a while, the son of Poseidon merely humming in response whilst nuzzling against the crook of his neck. He had an inkling why Percy sought for him amidst the crowd; why Percy was with him at that moment.

"I assumed you wouldn't," the son of Poseidon admitted, his hands moving up to grasp the younger male's own. "A blind man - regardless of his loss of sight - can feel that there exists something between Annabeth and Luke; something that no one could come between. Not even me, though it was long given that I wanted nothing more than to befriend her. She is like a sister I never had, and will always be."

"I said I was not going to ask any questions," Nico lightly laughed.

"I know. But I figured it was something both of us needed to hear. It was something both of us needed to know," Percy clarified, his tone becoming serious.

All I want is

All I need is

"I loved you when you were ten and hated the world, and I loved you when you were thirteen and I hated the world. I loved you when you were the closest to me, and I loved you when you left me. I loved you when I thought you loved someone else, and I loved you when you were halfway across the world. I loved you - eighteen - when you came back, and I love you now."

"I will always be in love with you. There was never anyone before you, and I can't imagine anyone coming after you. It's just you," was the confession. "There was only ever you."

The silence that followed should have been suffocating, but it really was not. There was something comforting about having those words out in the open; about having the walls he unintentionally built to come crashing down. Percy didn't even know that he was emotionally protecting himself until that point. The walls had always been there. Always.

There was so much left unsaid, Nico thought to himself, his heart constricting with ache as he struggled to let his overflowing emotions spill. It was as if locking them up for so long has forced them to become a physical lump in his throat, forbidding him from speaking of them. It was painful not being to say what he wanted - needed - to say, when he was always screaming those three words inside.

I loved you when you were thirteen and loved the world. I loved you when you were sixteen and you hated the world. I loved you when you were the closest to me, and I loved you when I thought that leaving you would be for your own good. I loved you when I thought you loved someone else, and I loved you when you were halfway across the world. I loved you - twenty - when I came back, and I love you now.

I will love you even when you've stopped loving me, and I will love you even when my heart gives out.

To find somebody

I'll find somebody

They were all left unspoken.

Despite his facade of strength, he was still a coward - a child - inside.

"... Happy birthday, Percy."

Percy did not say a word even when teardrops silently landed on the skin of his hands. He let them drop as he wrapped his arms tightly around the younger male. He did not acknowledge those tears out of respect. For at that moment, he knew that Nico's walls were finally crumbling down. (3)

Like you

- All I Want" by Kodaline


Author's Note:

(1) Apollo was making a reference to a game of chess with this thought. If you wish for me to explain further, you may ask me directly. But for me, I think it was rather obvious.
(2) This was the brooch Percy gave Nico back in Chapter 8. Gifting someone a brooch, just as a reminder, in the House of Apollo is the same as a proposal. Giving one back in return is an acceptance of said proposal. But when Percy gifted it, he told Nico that he could ignore what it meant then and to just treat it as his gift. Percy could change his mind eventually of its meaning, but as long as Nico does not give one in return, they are not engaged.
(3) Not completely, no. Nico's walls have not completely crashed down. Percy knew that doing so would be a lifelong process. He could not crush something so easily, not when Nico took years to build his walls.

Terms:

Théleis na chorépseis mazí mou? – Would you like to dance with me?
Eísai polý glykós – You are very sweet.

These were also used in chapter 9. If you remember that, kudos to you!

There are so many things I wanted for this chapter, but I decided to place some on the next chapter as lumping them here would be giving you too much information to process. I will post an… analysis (?) or something like that in my Tumblr account for this chapter. I strongly feel that I should, and also if you want to get an in-depth look to what is going through my head for when I write what I write for the characters.

Check my Ao3 account "Avaetin" for some links such as a side story, what Percy, Nico and Annabeth wore for this chapter on the endnotes of Chapter 19.

They are all clothes from/inspired by this manhwa I have been reading. I'll be really happy (more like giddy) if you know the manhwa.