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Hermione took her time showering then walked out of the bathroom through the bedroom without saying anything. Harry took that as a sign she wanted to be alone and went and cleaned up and dressed, casting several cleaning charms on the sheets and opening the window to let the icy wind in to replace the smell of sex with fresh air.
He re-entered their lounge area to find Hermione taking notes from a book, she didn't look up and he sat down and started work without saying anything. He didn't know what to say. How the hell do you apologise to someone for cumming when they licked the head of your penis. When that was supposedly what they wanted you to do, just maybe not so unexpectedly or so messily all over their face. He sat working on a transfiguration essay that he just knew he'd have to redo the next day because his thoughts were far too disjointed to write coherently, until finally it was late enough to escape to bed.
"Good night Hermione," he said quietly, getting up.
"Good night Harry, I'll be in soon," Hermione replied.
-o0o-
Harry pretended to be asleep when Hermione came to bed. He wasn't sure if Hermione believed he was but she willingly got into the bed with him and turned her back to him.
Several hours later they were both lying there still trying to pretend they were sleeping, though they both knew the other wasn't asleep.
Harry broke first. "Hermione," he whispered hesitantly.
"Harry," Hermione replied sighing.
"Are we okay?" Harry asked.
"Yes I think so," Hermione said.
Harry rolled over and pulled Hermione into his arms, "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
"No… let's go to sleep," Hermione stammered.
"Okay, you need to relax to fall asleep," Harry replied.
Hermione huffed and Harry bit his lip to stop himself from chuckling, laughing would only make her angry.
It took a while but Harry eventually fell asleep and when he woke in the morning he was relieved to find Hermione sleeping cuddled up with him the same as she usually was. He regretted having to get up and leave her for Quidditch practice but figured that it was probably better to keep to their normal routine even if that meant that Hermione woke up alone and had time to hide her emotions before he saw her again.
-o0o-
Hermione was waiting for him when he finished showering and getting ready for class after his early morning quidditch practice. "Hey," he said surprised but happy.
"Oh hey, Harry, ready for breakfast?" Hermione asked blushing.
"Starving," Harry confirmed smiling widely. "Shall we?"
He slipped his hand into Hermione's as they left the room and Hermione gave him a surprised look. Harry blushed and let her go looking down. "Sorry," he muttered.
Hermione grabbed his hand again. "No it's okay, it's nice. I just wasn't expecting it."
Harry looked relieved and thought that maybe he hadn't ruined anything after all and Hermione was happy to continue moving their relationship into a more romantic one than mere friendship. He began to hope that she was also prepared to continue what they'd started in the bedroom as well but he'd take whatever he could get after all his fears the night before. Hopefully next time he could control himself a bit more, or at least manage to warn his wife in time.
They arrived in the great hall and greeted their friends and the rest of the morning fell back into their normal patterns of friendship during meals and classes and studying together in the library to gather the information they needed to complete their homework and Harry had a chance to redo his transfiguration work which was indeed almost incoherently scattered. It wasn't until after dinner that they were alone together in their room. Harry expected Hermione to get out her books and finish her essays before bringing up their personal relationship so he got out his charms homework prepared for another hour or two of study. He didn't want to annoy or disappoint Hermione at this point.
"Harry can we talk?" Hermione asked.
"Sure," Harry said looking up and attempting to smile. Hermione sounded nervous and was looking everywhere but at Harry as her face flushed scarlet, telling Harry that the talk she wanted to have involved sex, or what had happened last night. He hoped she wasn't about to tell him that she wanted to back out of their agreement to try to learn to give each other pleasure without the pressure of feeling they needed to have penetrative vaginal sex.
He waited but Hermione didn't say anything, she appeared to be concentrating on something.
He waited some more before deciding to break into her thoughts, "What did you want to talk to me about Hermione?"
"Is it always so…?" She trailed off blushing scarlet.
"Sudden? Not always, I was a bit too excited. I'm sorry… Hopefully with a bit of practice I'll be able to control myself enough to give you some warning," Harry said apologetically, with a shameful blush of his own.
Hermione blushed too. "I was going to say… messy," she whispered.
"Well yeah," Harry replied, his face now absolutely burning with mortification. "It's normally like that."
"Umm, then do you think we might…" Hermione began.
"Might what Hermione?" Harry asked, almost dreading that she would tell him she hated the idea.
"Umm.. try to do that in the shower? Where the mess won't matter so much?" Hermione whispered in a rush to force it out before dying of embarrassment.
"Okay, that's what I normally do when I do it myself," Harry admitted.
"Yes, I know," Hermione admitted.
"Have you been spying on me?" Harry asked surprised but not really upset. If Hermione wanted to watch him wank he guessed she was welcome to, though he didn't know how he'd feel about doing it if he knew she was watching.
"No!" Hermione choked.
"Then how did you know, did I forget the silencing charm? If so I'm sorry I disturbed you," he asked blushing.
"No but I can tell when you've used it, I can't hear the water falling in the shower but I can tell it's still running from the sound in the pipes," Hermione admitted.
"Oh, I hadn't thought of that, maybe I could ask one of the elves to cast a permanent silencing charm on the pipes as well if it would make you feel less awkward. Are you upset that I'm doing it? I'll stop if you don't want me to," Harry offered.
"It doesn't upset me, maybe if we were having regular sex and you still did it regularly, I would be worried that I wasn't good enough, and why you still needed or wanted to do it on your own, but under the circumstances I don't think I have the right to stop you, it wouldn't be fair to deny you…" Hermione rambled a little.
"You're always welcome to come and join me if you want. I'm thinking about you, imagining that it's your hands or mouth anyway," Harry admitted bravely.
"Umm… okay… maybe" Hermione stammered wondering whether she'd ever have the courage to try to join him but more than pleased that he was thinking of her like that every day.
"Do you want to come and have a shower with me now?" Harry invited holding out his hand, realising from her expression that she was tempted to join him but unsure about doing that and if he left it up to her she'd probably have second thoughts and talk herself out of joining him.
Hermione blushed but took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. "Um yeah, I'll meet you in the bathroom," she stammered.
Harry smiled softly and hurried into the bathroom to set up the shower. He pulled off his clothing and stood awkwardly under the water trying to covertly watch the door so he wouldn't be surprised by her entering the shower without making her feel more self-conscious.
Hermione entered clutching her bathrobe tightly closed and Harry move to one side of the shower to give her plenty of room as she hesitated. It was much brighter in the bathroom than it had been in the bedroom last night.
"You know you could leave your dressing gown on for now if you want. Magic will dry it quickly enough, or maybe ask the castle to turn down the lights if it makes you more comfortable," Harry said as she seemed reluctant to drop her robe and join him.
Hermione huffed and quickly pulled it off and stepped into the shower nude, closing the gap to wrap her arms around him so he couldn't stare at her body. Harry wrapped his arms around her too and leaned in to kiss her. They snogged for a while, enjoying the feel of wet skin against wet skin. It seemed easier this time, Harry kept his hands to her waist and back and Hermione felt confident that Harry wouldn't ask more of her than she was offering and relaxed into the kisses. In the end it was her that started to explore his body first, running her hands down his back and over his bum, causing his erection to twitch against her.
Harry stepped forward pushing her against the tile walls which were luckily magically heated, and pressing his body further into hers. Hermione could feel his excitement pressing into her pubic bone but instead of frightening her the way it would have done a week before she was excited and arched her hips up to meet him as he rocked against her.
"I could come just like this," Harry said increasing his thrusts a little. "Is that what you want to do?"
"Do you want to come like this?" Hermione asked, tightening her arms around him.
"Mmmm… It feels really good," Harry almost moaned.
"Then do it, we can try other things next time," Hermione said kissing him again. This time Harry's kisses weren't gentle and sweet, he devoured her mouth and Hermione moaned into the kiss lifting one leg up to wrap around his thighs. Harry moved his hands to her bum and lifted her a little and taking the hint Hermione wrapped the other leg around him too, clinging tightly.
"Is this okay? Am I too heavy?" she asked worriedly.
"No it's good, I've got you," Harry replied. And it was good for her too, the change in position meant he was now thrusting over her clit and his precum lubricated the movement perfectly and she orgasmed with him when she felt his hot release hit her already heated private parts.
Harry immediately pulled away and grabbed the shower hose to rinse her off, almost dropping her as she rushed to get her legs back on the ground to support her and they didn't want to co-operate. "I'm sorry," he said panicked.
"Don't worry Harry, it wasn't close enough to my vagina to be a risk, and it was a lot more pleasurable than being hit in the face with it," Hermione reassured him, also a bit shaken by how out of control she had been.
Harry blushed and hung his head, resting his forehead on her shoulder, which inadvertently gave him a great view of her breasts still heaving as she caught her breath.
"Umm… I should go… and let you wash up," Hermione said blushing.
"You don't have to leave if you don't want," Harry replied, semi-hopefully. He was feeling satiated for the moment but having a naked Hermione in front of him close enough to reach out and touch was still doing pleasurable things to his insides and he knew if she left now they'd both start to overthink things again and it would be even more awkward afterwards. He grabbed his flannel and started to wash himself, he would have liked to wash Hermione instead but he wasn't sure she would want him to and he didn't want to upset her. He didn't want her to run away again.
Hermione hesitated for a moment then grabbed the other flannel adding her own bodywash she started cleaning herself up properly. They finished in only slightly awkward silence and dressed for bed. Hermione regretted having to wear thick flannelette pyjama pants and bed socks under a warm nightie and robe rather than something more attractive but the castle was too cold and draughty to sit about in anything less, even with the fire and warming charms, and she was hoping to sit up and finish at least one more homework assignment before bed. Harry pulled on his own pyjamas and robe, new ones Hermione had insisted he buy while they were at her parents' home at Christmas and went out to stoke up the fire and refresh the warming charms in their living room area before returning to work on his charms homework. He smiled at Hermione as she came out and joined him and she smiled back before concentrating on her work.
They were fine until they finished studying and then had to awkwardly get into bed together. Normally he showered in the evening to give Hermione privacy to get ready for bed and Hermione was at least pretending to be asleep when Harry got out of the shower but tonight he was tired and wanted to go to bed as soon as he finished the homework required for the next day and they were both already in their pyjamas ready for bed and he was worried that if he did shower again Hermione would think it was because what they'd done earlier wasn't enough for him, though Hermione was wearing more pyjamas than she normally wore in bed she didn't pull them off but curled up facing away from him.
"Good night Hermione," Harry said trying to lie as he normally did and relax.
"Good night Harry," Hermione replied.
It took them both a long time to fall asleep that night in spite of how tired they both were.
Harry smiled sleepily at the feeling of Hermione pressed up against him like usual the next morning. She must have got too hot during the night and pulled off her pyjama pants and her nightie had ridden up like usual because he could feel the bare skin of her legs against his. For not the first time he cursed early morning practice that meant he couldn't lie there and cuddle until Hermione woke up, but this time he didn't even have the comfort of rationalising that it was for the best, that Hermione wouldn't want to wake up like that. Now though he wondered if she would be okay with it and what lazy morning snuggling would be like once she was awake enough for him to touch without feeling like he was violating her trust.
Hermione was waiting for him again when he got out of the shower after quidditch practice and this time she was the one to smile and take his hand as they walked down to breakfast together. The ate breakfast with their friends and then Hermione gave him a small kiss on the mouth instead of the cheek before she left him for Arithmancy. Harry grinned all the way through an hour in the library and down to Care of Magical Creatures.
Ron and Neville looking at his grinning face both looked away in envy, things were obviously going well on the marriage front for Harry and Hermione. The two boys were slowly coming to terms with the fact that Hermione had married Harry, and they were forced to admit that Harry was more suited to Hermione, neither of them wanted to deal with her mania for studying and they could see that Harry was now spending a lot more time on his schoolwork. The truth was that they were lonely, neither had been particularly close to each other in the past and sharing a room just the two of them just emphasised the fact that the other three had something they didn't have, especially when they arrived at breakfast with a post sex goofy smile like Harry was wearing now. They were also starting to worry about who the ministry would match them with since the majority of their friends were already married. Neville knew that his grandmother was trying to make a match for him amongst her friends not trusting the ministry to pair him with a witch with the proper sort of skills and attitudes to be the next Lady Longbottom. He dreaded to think who she would choose since she didn't seem to approve of him most of the time. Gran had sent him a letter demanding that he get permission to come home one weekend soon and meet the eligible bride she'd chosen for him. He almost wondered whether he'd be better off with a ministry match. His Gran had never seemed to know him very well or accept that he wasn't a carbon copy of his father and while he would have given his right kidney if he'd known enough about anatomy to know he could live without one for a chance to get to know his mother properly before she was crucio'd into insanity and unresponsiveness he didn't want to marry a replica of her or worse the type of witch his gran thought his father should have married instead of his mother.
Ron on the other hand was starting to realise that this was really going to happen and like it or not he would be married in a few months' time, and that it wouldn't just be a thing on paper it was going to change his life in all sorts of small ways the way being married had changed Harry and Hermione even though they were already best friends. He admitted to himself that he wasn't ready to make such a commitment, not even ready to leave the support of having his parents make most of the big decisions for him except during an adventure with Harry. He only hoped that his wife would be willing to spend the summer at the Burrow and that she was a decent cook. Ron had never stayed anywhere away from his family except to come to Hogwarts and he didn't want to have to deal with staying with a strange family even if or perhaps especially because he'd married their daughter. He'd heard the stories from Harry and Seamus and others of how awkward it was to suddenly meet and stay with their parents-in-law and he dreaded it. The truth was he'd always been secretly glad that neither Harry nor Hermione had ever invited him to stay with them over the summer instead of coming to the Burrow but now he felt incredibly unprepared for the stress of having to try to fit into the routines of another family. He was also beginning to be uncomfortably aware from his friend's stories and Hermione's increasing nagging about things like table manners that if those things were important to his wife's family then they weren't going to like the way he ate or a lot of his other habits but he felt that it was too much for them to be the ones to expect him to change. He began to regret not putting more effort into wanting the marriage ritual to work with Hermione, at least he knew her and her family knew his, though from some of the things Harry had said there had still been issues before they understood what the marriage ritual was saving Hermione from.
A/N: Please everyone, stay home if you can and keep your distance from others, stay safe take care of yourselves and your loved ones and don't lose hope, believe that this will pass. We will get through this.
A/N2: Thank you to all those who reviewed, followed or favourited this story for your support.
