What followed were the longest ten seconds of my entire life. She was still on top of me. I was still inside of her. We were locked in an embrace.

The moment that I realized I had said I loved her, my eyes shot open, and chills erupted all over my body.

I did not move or breathe.

It truly was only ten seconds, but time slowed down for me, or rather, against me.

In that brief span of time, I felt as though I had left my own body and was hovering somewhere above us, looking down on the scene. Looking down on this bloody fool, who finally had something potentially perfect, and had to immediately ruin it.

Looking down at this poor girl who had to somehow respond to such a ludicrous statement, and at such a pivotal moment in her life.

I needed to not just slow time, but to reverse it. I could do this all again, and just know to keep my bloody mouth shut at the end. To lay there in a peaceful silence, literally entwined with the most beautiful, incredible witch. And I would not dare scare her away the next time.

There was nothing for it, I would have to find a time turner and make it happen. I'd heard rumors of one being hidden in Nott Manor. I would find it and I would put this right.

But Granger moved just as the thought passed through my mind. She pushed herself up with both arms on either side of me and looked me in the eyes.

"Draco," she said, and I could not for the life of me read her tone. Shock? Surprise? Happy? Terrified? I could not tell.

Then she lowered her face to mine and pressed our foreheads together.

Alright, so… she wasn't running away yet.

Yet.

Then she kissed me. It was gentle. Sweet. Intentional.

We lay there, drawing out the longest series of kisses we'd ever exchanged.

Finally, the kisses ended and she pulled back. Her hand came up to my cheek and she grazed it with her thumb, a wide smile appearing across her face as she bent down to graze her nose gently against mine.

"I love you too," she whispered back. And then she was kissing me again, this time with fervor.

I kissed her back, still feeling out of my own body. I'd heard the words, but for some reason they did not calm me. Instead, I felt an intense sense of panic broiling up inside of me. My heart pounded in my chest, and if I hadn't been lying naked with a witch, I'm certain the beats would have stood out among the silence in the room.

My traitorous body and my traitorous tongue were embroiled in some mad civil war, and all the while, this incredible girl was smiling and kissing me, clearly intent on having us continue on.

I put both hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away.

"You need cleaning charms," I said, aiming my gaze down to where we were still joined together. Then, I lifted her off of me and she let out a whine of protest and said, "I'm fine, Draco, don't worry about it."

But I was already up out of the bed and looking for my wand, muttering something to her about the consequences of not washing straight away after sex.

Before I could locate it, I heard her cast her own spell. Then, she came around to the side of the bed where I was still hunched over, looking in the same place over and over for my wand.

"Accio," she said quietly. Then, I felt her press her body up against mine, wrapping an arm around my waist and laying her head on my shoulder to still me. At the same time, she placed my wand in my hand.

My grip around it tightened, and the sense of floating out of my body dissipated. I seemed to "land" in that moment, my bare feet flat on the wood floor. I took her hand that was resting on my shoulder and turned around to face her.

"I have to go," I said, looking earnestly into her eyes.

It was the only true thing I could think to say. The reason why, I could not say. Instead, I lied to Hermione Granger for the first time in a very long time.

It physically hurt me to do it. She was staring at me more confused than I'd ever seen her.

"Mother is expecting me home," I said.

I don't know why I chose that particular lie. Even as I said it, I knew that it sounded like a lie. I knew that she would know I was lying.

I couldn't do anything but hope she would let it slide.

I really did need to go.

The look on her face then broke my heart.

She knew. She knew it was a lie.

She let go of my hand and took a step back.

"Oh… alright," she said.

I wasn't going to chance her changing her mind, I gathered up my things, and then, horribly, I kissed her on the cheek and left her standing there in the middle of her bedroom.

I went through the floo, praying that Mother wouldn't be there to receive me, starkers, with a bundle of clothes in my arms.

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The room was mercifully empty when I arrived home, and I quickly aparated straight to my bathroom and dropped the bundle of clothes on the floor.

It was then that I realized I had no fucking idea what to do next.

My instinct to be alone had been so strong, but that had been the only step in the plan.

I turned on the shower. At the very least, I could stand under the hot water and feel in some way productive. As I stepped into the water, I couldn't get the image of her out of my mind. She had looked so lost. And would could blame her? Her supposed boyfriend had just shagged her for the first time, her first time… our first time… and then told her he loved her and then immediately ran out as soon as she reciprocated the sentiment?

What in the hell was wrong with me?

I swore loudly and slammed the side of my fist against the shower wall.

Even without my wand, my magic crackled through me, and the damage to the wall was far more severe than I knew myself capable of causing.

Pain shot through my hand, but it seemed that my magic had also protected me somewhat.

I couldn't think of a time when I'd channeled my magic in this way, not since I was a little boy and had done so accidentally when emotions were high. Particularly, fear.

And that's when I realized. The panic in my chest that I felt when she said it back to me. My intense need to run. It was all fear.

But what was I afraid of?

I didn't have an immediate answer.

I stared at the water dripping down the now cracked tile wall, and began to wash as I pondered the question.

I had to just let go and allow answers to come, I knew this all too well from the number of times I'd sat across from Michelle or Catherine as they asked me seemingly confounding questions and then waited for my answers. Answers would always come, I knew that.

I took a deep breath and felt it shakily leave my body.

This level of fear was something I hadn't felt since…

Well, since I'd been called before the dark lord. Had been given what was essentially a death sentence. When I knew there was a very high likelihood that I wouldn't survive the school year. That I'd never see my family again. But even before that, there was an assured sense of being made an outcast. Of being alone.

But how could this particular situation evoke such a level of fear?

Did this make sense?

I heard Michelle's voice in my mind saying, "Fear rarely makes sense."

I nodded my head as if she was there reminding me of it herself. We'd had a whole conversation about separating the fear I felt throughout the war. The rational fear. The fear that was due to a monster living in my own house, commanding my family to do its bidding.

That fear made sense, she'd said.

Fear of opening up to another person, however, was not a life or death scenario, no matter how much it felt like it.

Something clicked in my mind just then. I was reacting to an irrational fear as if my life was being threatened.

I rinsed off the soap I'd haphazardly applied and turned off the water. Unsure of my next move, I contented myself with getting dressed. Once that was done, I went downstairs and met mother in the hall.

"Draco… I did not hear you come in. Is Hermione..." she said, trailing off and looking behind me.

"She's not here," I said, and then watched my mother's face crinkle in confusion. I held up a hand.

"It's a long story, and I'm afraid I don't have time to explain," I said, taking both of her hands in mine and placing a kiss on one of them.

Before I could pull away, she tightened her grip and said, "You are… alright then, darling?"

I managed a weak smile and said, "Not really, but I will be."

She tilted her head to the side and I could tell she wasn't sure what to make of me. In truth, I wasn't either. I felt a rush of confidence in that moment. Just hearing myself say it the way I had.

My truth seemed to be leaving my mouth that day faster than my mind could process it.

I made my way to the floo room and tried Granger's flat. As I suspected, it was closed.

I tried to assure myself that she'd simply closed it for the evening, rather than specifically closing it to me. A sliver of doubt crept through my chest, but I did my best to brush it aside.

I sat in one of the wingback chairs to decide what to do next. If Granger was home in bed, there was nothing for it, I'd go back to the restaurant and retrace our steps to her flat.

But what if she wasn't home?

I thought about Granger. When left in that position, would she stay home in bed?

She wouldn't. I suddenly knew it for certain. She would have called on a friend by now.

I didn't need to think about which one.

But Potter's floo access would surely be protected, even if I knew the address, which I did not.

I stood, walked to the floo and called out Pansy's flat. The familiar discomfort of being sucked through space enveloped me for a few split seconds before I was standing in her kitchen.

Directly in front of me was a shirtless Weasley, sitting at the table, a spoonful of cereal halfway to his mouth. Upon making eye contact with me, he'd frozen, and those bug eyes of his go somehow wider.

"Evening, Weasley. I hoped I might find you here," I said, and delighted in his flabbergasted expression in response.

"Ron darling, are you done yet? The bath's getting cold-" said Pansy as she was rounding the corner to enter the kitchen.

When she saw me standing there, she screamed. I mean, proper screamed. It was rather hilarious. The fact that she was only wearing a bra and knickers, with an open silk kimono, only added to the hilarity.

I did my best not to laugh. I needed a pretty huge favor, and I wasn't going to get it by mocking this ridiculous situation of theirs.

"Draco what the bloody hell are you doing here?!"

I held up both hands in surrender. "I completely apologize for crashing in on your evening, I promise you it's an emergency."

At that, Pansy ran forward. "Are you alright? Is it your mum?"

"No, she's fine," I said quickly.

"Weren't you on your date with Hermione this evening?"

"I was, and it… didn't end well. I'm trying to find her."

Weasley dropped his spoon with a clatter and stood from the table. "If you did anything to hurt her Malfoy, I swear to Salazar I will-"

"Weasley, I assure you, I absolutely did something to hurt her, and that's why I need your help. I need to put it right."

The look on Weasley's face was, again, priceless. I was sure he wasn't expecting my honesty in that moment. Pansy looked from me to him as if we were a Quidditch match.

He seemed to gather himself quickly and said, "Oh er… right then… umm… what do you need?"

"Floo me to Potter's? I'm sure she's there, but I don't know the address, nor do I have floo access."

"Draco," Pansy said, "are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

I turned to Pansy and noted how much her expression mirrored my mother's. I found it oddly comforting. "Pans, I really don't have time to deliberate, and my gut is telling me this can't wait for morning."

She turned to Weasley and said, "Fine but I'm coming along. I'm not going to wait around here to find out what's happening."

"Then I'm coming too!" said Tracey as she appeared around the corner. "Sorry for eavesdropping, but I didn't want to interrupt." She looped her arm around Weasley's and said, "Let's get some clothes on you, Ronnie cakes."

Weasley turned to glare at me and said, "Not a word, Malfoy."

Again, I put both hands up. "I just want to see Granger, I'm not here to take the piss out of you three."

With a nod, Weasley disappeared around the corner, and Pansy followed. "Back in a flash, then," she said.

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Weasley opened the floo access and brought us all through. We landed in yet another kitchen, this one far more old fashioned than I had expected. The house itself had the feel of old pureblood magic, much like the manor, which greatly confused me until Weasley said, "this is 12 Grimmauld Place, it's a Black family estate. Sirius left it to Harry."

Before I had a chance to respond, Ginny Weasley appeared through the kitchen doorway and upon spotting her brother, let a wide grin spread across her face. Crossing her arms she said, "well well well, if it isn't the happy… trupple?"

"Blimey, not now, Gin, we're here under urgent circumstances," Weasley said, gesturing to me.

As soon as Ginny's eyes landed on me, her entire demeanor shifted to one of pure, unbridled hatred.

"What are you doing here," she said through gritted teeth.

Weasley stepped forward and started to say, "Gin-" but she put her hand up and said, "Quiet, Ronnie cakes, this doesn't concern you."

Weasley turned, if possible, even redder.

Ginny's eyes were searing. "Get out," she said, in a slightly louder tone.

Just then, the kitchen door swung open once more, revealing Potter, followed closely by…

"Hermione," I said. And everyone else froze.

"Draco," she said. Her expression was unreadable, but her eyes looked like she'd been crying.

I felt an actual pain in my chest at the sight.

Ginny turned to face Hermione and leaned in close, but I could still hear her say, "we can make him leave, you don't have to-" But Hermione had already put a hand on her friend's shoulder, and shook her head.

"Well," Potter said, awkwardly. "Welcome all… perhaps we can give these two some privacy."

"Not necessary," Granger said, stepping in front of him and walking towards me.

Miraculously, she took my hand and began guiding me out of the room. "We're going upstairs, you're all staying down here, and don't try listening in because I'll be casting protective charms and so help me Merlin, you'll be sorry if you try them."