They're quiet the next morning. Somewhere in the night the fact that they had not only lost the doctor, but the uncertainty for next day had dawned on them. Lucy had stayed awake, face pillowed in the newly broad chest of her husband, and she knows him well enough to know he had barely slept a wink.
But he doesn't seem tired in the morning, and when he nearly rips his pants as he's putting them on, Lucy is reminded again that the man in front of her is not an average human. Not anymore.
They come for them in a car, and this time she only gets in because she knows those faces, and because Agent Carter is riding shotgun. She can't deny that the fact a spy got a ride in a government car puts her on edge, but she trusts Agent Carter.
And then when they arrive there is a physical exam to be done and a dozen vials waiting to be filled with Steve's blood, and a nurse she's sure is more than capable, but sue her for wanting to do it herself, she was Dr. Erskine's head nurse, and Steve was still part of the project, even if it was shut down. She would be the one to take the measurements and draw the blood, just like she had done two days ago, and god did that feel like a thousand years ago.
Steve barely bats an eye, more than used to nurses fluttering around him while on the hospital, and she's always been told she has light hands, you can barely tell when she puts the needle in you.
"Think you got enough?" he asks when she pulls the needle away, hand ready to lower the sleeve of his shirt. He sounds tired, and even though she knows he's in top shape, everything that had happened the day before must have been weighting down on him.
"It's not that much, you big baby" she rolls her eyes, pressing on his inner elbow to make sure the patch is secure, knowing it would stop bleeding in a matter of seconds if it hadn't stopped already.
"Any hope of reproducing the program is locked in your genetic code," Agent Carter says near the door, holding papers detailing weight, size, diameters, everything Steve was that could be measured "but without Dr. Erskine it would take years"
"Not even I saw his research, only bits and pieces" Lucy says from where she's finishing the samples, passing the tube and needle to the nurse beside her "If no one knew everything except himself, he wouldn't be putting anyone at risk. Not that I could have understood much of it, to be honest" And that brings out the question: what would happen with his research? Where were all his notes? She knew the government would take all of it, but would they be able to decode them? His apartment was a safe house the SSR had given him, his were only the clothes there, maybe a few books and photographs.
Who would take care of his funeral?
Steve takes a deep breath as he stops fidgeting with his cuff, and looks outside when he speaks.
"He deserved more than this" and he did, he deserved more than one subject for the army, to have it used for military development instead of medical advancements.
"If it could work only once, he'd be proud it was you" and Agent Carter offers him a small smile, a small gesture of reassurance from someone who knew Dr. Erskine for a few years instead a few days like he did.
Voices come from downstairs, Colonel Phillips and someone else that makes Lucy raise her eyes like a hound.
"Brandt" she snarls, jaw locked.
"Let Colonel Phillips handle him" Agent Carter says, frowning a little.
"He's the reason Abe is dead"
"And also a Senator" she reminds her, and the turn of her lips tells Lucy she's feeling maybe as bad she does about this whole affair.
"We should go down" Steve says, offering her his hand. She takes it, only after rubbing her hands on the green skirt she's wearing. She's an Agent now, not a nurse. Focus. She squeezes her husband's hand once before dropping it and letting him take the lead after Agent Carter.
They get down just as Senator Ass says he's on a number of committees, Colonel. Asshat.
"H.Y.D.R.A. is the Nazi deep-science division" Agent Carter speaks from where she's leading "It's lead by Johann Schmidt, but he has much bigger ambitions" And Lucy doesn't miss the way the Senator takes off his hat on her presence, because that's the kind of woman Margaret Carter is. Commanding respect by presence alone.
"H.Y.D.R.A. is practically a cult, they worship Schmidt, they think he's invincible" Phillips gets the attention of the Senator again.
"So what are you gonna do about it?"
"I spoke to the president this morning. As of today, the SSR is being retasked" he walks until he's in front of Agent Carter. Lucy comes to stand just one feet behind her.
"Sir?" she asks as the same time Agent Carter asks "Colonel?"
"We're taking the fight to H.Y.D.R.A. Pack your bags, Agent Carter. You too, Stark. We're flying to London tonight. Agent Rogers, you're assigned a mission, you leave with us" he offers her a folder, and when she opens it, there is a file. She goes to the important things listed there, only half listening to Steve as he asks what he's doing now.
NAME: DUBOIS, VERONIQUE H.
DOCUMENT CITIZENSHIP: SWITZERLAND.
LANGUAGES: FRENCH, ENGLISH.
HAIR: BLONDE.
EYES: GREEN.
FAMILY: Brian Dubois, Father (deceased).
Dominique Dubois, Mother (deceased).
Jaques Dubois, Brother.
There are other papers there: birth certificate, passport, notes about Veronique's history, guidance so she can build up a life that feels real, everything carefully planned just for her, just for this occasion because every false identity had to be planned so carefully, no room for mistakes that could compromise the life of an agent or the success of the mission. There is a picture of a man, a file on Jaques Dubois, and she knows that will be the person taking whatever information she gathers back to the SSR, probably already undercover.
And then she hears "You are not enough" and God, her blood boils.
"Sir!" she says, taking a step towards the man, dammed be the consequences.
But Steve takes her hand, pulls her back as Phillips walks away and she's determined to snap at Steve because that's not fair at all, it was not his fault and it had worked, he was alive and healthy and how dare he call him not enough-
And then the senator is walking towards them, stopping just in front of where they are holding hands with his hat on his hands.
"With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we might be missing the point. I've see you in action, Steve. More importantly, the country's seen it" and the senator's flying monkey shows them today's paper when Brandt calls for it, Steve holding the taxi's door as a shield just he had told her he had done the day before "The enlistments lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands. You don't take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab" and the man takes Steve by the shoulder, steering him away from her, turning him so his back is facing her "Son, do you want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war?" and her husband looks at her for a seconds and she knows what she sees in the set of his brow, in the way his mouth is just a little pursed. She knows he will say yes, that he's looking at her because she deserves a little warning, and the way her eyebrows raise just a little along with her shoulders lets him know the decision is his and his alone.
And Steve accepts and he's whisked away, and Lucy knows it won't be the front lines, maybe won't even be a real battlefield, they wouldn't risk him in that way and Brandt is not even in the military, for God's sake.
But fighting is not everything in a war, and all actions counted. And she hates the mere thought of them contributing to more men being shipped away, to have more young men away from their families, but this was a war that had to be fought, that had to be won so the things going on overseas would stop. And didn't she get involved to contribute to that? Didn't she sign herself up to this intelligence agency just so men like James could come back home?
She's led to an office where she's given all the details she needs, and she's told she will spend a week in a town in Switzerland where Veronique was supposedly born, where she has to absorb as much information as she can, has to learn new mannerisms and ways of talking and ways of counting and what differences there are from the French she learned while at school and the way locals speak.
They tells her to change her glasses and she refuses, claims they're new and so little people had seen her with them, it would be a waste of money. They relent after a good while, and she gives a good breath of relief that they won't take away the last thing Dr. Erskine gave her. Her change of appearance will happen in London, so all that's left for her to do is go home to pack.
It's already the middle of the afternoon when she gets home after dropping for a quick visit to Mrs. Brennan and the girls to tells them she'd be out of town for work for a good while, and the smell of food invades her senses the moment she steps inside. Steve was not a great cook, not really, but he could manage just fine on his own, and God was it nice to come home to a warm meal and good company.
She's silent as she comes in, not really in the mood to talk after so many things happening in the last 48 hours. Steve is facing the stove, and it looks so wrong, so out of place, it stops her right where she is. She hates to think it, but she has been coming home to her husband for years now, and he was never that tall, never that strong. He wouldn't have heard her come in three days ago, for fuck's sake, but now he turns his head less than an inch, angling towards the sound like a second nature.
And that's her husband, her Steve, and yet he's not and yet yes, he is.
"I can hear you thinking from here" he says, and in the table between them there are his colors, over 50 of them, and her eyes tear up when she thinks he finally can see them, can finally difference between them, can finally tell whether the shades he had only ever heard from name went well together or not. There was a reason he was fonder of charcoals over everything else.
"I leave at 10" she says instead, dropping into a chair.
"Where are you going? I heard something about a mission" he puts the lid over a pan and turns to give her his attention.
"Switzerland, first. Then Germany" and she wants to lie, to be honest, because who knows what will happen if she's discovered.
But she can't like to him.
"Lucy-" he stars, worry bleeding into his voice.
"It'll be fine" she says, but she knows Steve knows she can't promise anything "What about you? What did Senator Asshole want?" she tries to change the subject, and while she knows Steve wouldn't change the subject so easily, she needs to cover as much as they can before their time runs out.
"I'm going to be part of a campaign for war bonds"
And what. The. Hell.
"Steve, that's not-"
"It's better than being stuck in a lab" he says, but somehow it doesn't really sound like he means it.
"Is it?" she looks at him, head tilted just a little to the side.
But the timer rings before he can answer her, and then he has to serve the plates for the late lunch they have.
He helps her pack, because he has time, his shows won't start right away, and it's bittersweet how more than a week ago, she was the one helping him pack.
And on what little time she has before she has to leave, Lucy holds him close, throws herself over him and listens to the steady beat of his heart. It's the same, if only louder, stronger. There are no fears of his heart giving out now. No angina to worry about, no high blood pressure, no weak valves because of the rheumatic fever he had as a child.
"I love you" she says against his chest when she has to leave, standing just outside their apartment "I'll come back to you"
"I love you too" he kisses the crown of her head, resting his chin there for a few seconds, savoring whatever warmth they give to each other. When the car waiting for her honks, he kisses her forehead before kissing her lips.
She waves goodbye to him through the window, and curses his new vision, because that means he can see her tears even from far away.
Two updates in two weeks? What is happening to me
