She was increasingly worried about Matt. He came home from every shift looking like he hadn't slept the entire 24 hours, or sometimes longer if he had more overtime. He often wasn't showering at work either, that much was obvious – it was hard to hide or even be very subtle about the smell of fires and sweat. It didn't matter that it was December, when you worked hard in turnout gear, you got sweaty. He had soot or dirt at the edges of his clothing, like he'd washed with a cloth just getting his hands and arms and neck and face, but stopped at the edge of his shirt instead of taking it off or just showering. He'd always been the last guy into the showers at 51, letting everyone else go first, but he had also been a pretty big stickler for cleanliness. If nothing else, leaving whatever you were exposed to at an incident on your skin probably wasn't a good idea. His construction work had slowed down at least, so they had more time off together, and she had some relief knowing that Polanshek was due back in a month. Still, she hated seeing him so run down. Severide had noticed the same thing, and the two of them had even discussed what could be going on: hazing at 29 made no sense, Matt outranked almost everyone in the house so that sort of behavior would be career suicide. Neither of them could imagine Matt having alienated anyone enough to overcome the fear of CFD hierarchy. That left insomnia (Severide's suggestion, apparently Matt when stressed had a tendency not to sleep or get his cycle all messed up) as the most likely culprit, but he slept fine at home. Hell, he'd even relaxed enough to sleep over at her place a couple times, though he refused oddly to have sex at her place. He also practically snuck out each morning in an attempt to dodge her roommates. She didn't understand that, did Matt think Cruz and Otis thought they were celibate or something? Matt said nothing which she was learning was completely typical for Matt – he shut up tighter than a clam when he was upset. She was a little comforted, only a little, by Kelly's confident assurance that it was not their relationship that was bothering Matt: according to Severide, Matt lit up at the mere mention of her name in a way he hadn't done since the early days with Dawson. It had to be something at work, but all the things she could think of led right back to the fact that as a captain, he was pretty insulated from the common problems guys faced at a new firehouse. Despite her worries, he was still a pretty good boyfriend – when he was with her, he was the same as always and he was sensitive, attentive, considerate, kind, and yes, the sex was still good. So…she wasn't worried about them, she was worried about him.
"Think I can talk you into doing me a favor?" Matt asked as they lay curled up in his bed. It was full winter now in Chicago, so unashamedly got up after sex to put pajamas on because apparently the two men refused to turn up the thermostat, but still, she was post-coital and pretty open to doing anything for him. It turns out multiple orgasms do that to a girl.
"Right now, I will do just about anything. I love you." She kissed his chest softly. "I also love your dick and what it does to me. Just so you know."
"You are really good for a man's confidence, you know that?" Matt chuckled lightly.
"And you are really good at…well, lots of things. But I'm a little sore so I don't want to wind you up too much right now. So what's the favor?"
"How do you feel about helping me shop for my new place?"
"Are you kidding? That's not even a favor. You know I love house hunting. Are we house hunting? Or condo or apartment or what?"
"House." Matt was clearly decided. "I'm looking mostly the Logan Square area, I guess – not too far from the firehouse – or maybe south in Pilsen and Bridgeport."
"This is going to be so much fun. But are you sure you're ready to move out of here?"
"I think it's time Severide and Kidd have some privacy, yeah." He paused, pulling her more tightly against him. "And maybe some for me and you, too."
"It would be nice to not worry about how loud I am when you…do that thing with your tongue."
"If you want me to go to sleep any time soon, that's probably not the best way to take this conversation."
"I'm way too tired for any more sex. Sorry. I need sleep. So do you. You've looked really beat lately, Matt."
"It'll be done soon. I'll be back at 51 soon."
"4 weeks is not that soon." She almost pouted. She missed him. She liked having him on calls. Plus, she was so used to seeing him for those long shifts that not seeing him felt way too long.
"You know I love you, right?" He asked, after a moment's silence.
"Matt, of course I do. You tell me all the time, and you show me just as often." She leaned up, trying to meet his eyes. "Is something wrong?"
"No, of course not. I just wanted…to make sure."
Going house-shopping with a contractor was an interesting experience. He was often quiet during the showings, but then in the truck had plenty of commentary. It wasn't that he was being difficult, but she knew he had high standards for renovations and she didn't think the realtor had entirely taken into account that Matt was probably going to want to personalize his own house. Showing him a bunch of fully finished places was not the best idea. She also found it interesting how many realtors talked to him about things like maintenance and the yard and to her about features like laundry hook-ups and kitchens and closets. It was his house, not hers. At least, officially. If she had some hopes of anything else, she was trying to squash them because it was way too early into their relationship to even be thinking about things like getting a house together.
Her favorite thus far was the house they were currently looking at in Smith Park. They weren't as close to the park as might be ideal, but the house was on a pretty quiet street and near an elementary school (not that she was going to say out loud that she thought maybe Matt was paying attention to school zones) and had a pretty good-sized backyard for being so close into the city. It needed some cosmetic touch-ups, and certainly it could use some work to make it more "Matt" but it wasn't going to be a massive project for him. Plus, it was pretty affordable. The closets were kind of small, and so were the bathrooms, but in an older house that was going to be hard to avoid.
"I like it." Sylvie said, wrapping her arms around Matt's waist. The realtor had taken them through and was letting them 'get a feel for the space' now. "It's not perfect, but I don't think you want a perfect place with no projects for you."
"It's close enough to the house." Matt said, sounding approving. "Couple problems I can see though. There's no garage-"
"You don't have one now. You didn't have one at your old place, either." She hadn't even known a garage was on his list of must-haves or at least the wants. It wasn't like he had a vehicle that really needed that much shelter. He drove the oldest car of everyone at 51, which she'd think was strange because he made more money than most of them, except she knew Matt. He would drive that truck until it literally died before he replaced it. That was just who he was.
"It'd be nice to have the storage and the space for a workshop, plus someplace to park when weather is crappy." Matt pointed out. "And if there's a yard, nice to have a place to put the lawnmower."
"What are the other downsides?"
"The master bedroom is on a different floor from all the other bedrooms. I'm not a fan of that. I'd have to have air-conditioning installed, the unit they've got is older than you are, I think. And I'd like to have a place with a fireplace in it."
"But it's still a contender, right? I mean, you said you wanted a yard, and you won't get many bigger than this in the city."
"Right – because there's no garage." Matt pointed out. "If I build that, the yard gets smaller. But it's still a great lot and the neighborhood is good but still affordable."
"Plus, it's just a cute house. The bathrooms are great, especially for their size."
"Yep." He was grinning at her, that smile that said he thought she was adorable even if he didn't entirely understand her excitement. That was fine with her. She didn't understand his excitement for sports, so he could just find her love of real estate unfathomable too. Seemed fair enough.
"How big a hurry are you in?" She asked, knowing that was an important consideration.
"It's not like Severide is kicking me out." He shrugged. "I've got the time to wait for what I want, I guess. I just feel like I need to get my own place sooner rather than later. I don't need to be crowding him and Kidd as they try to start a serious life together, you know?"
"And?" She knew that wasn't everything just from the way he'd said it.
"And I think, if you and I are going to…build something together, too, maybe it's important I get a place where we're not tripping over roommates every morning and night." He shrugged.
"Since I'm not going anywhere anytime soon – roommate tripping or otherwise – there's no huge rush, then." She reassured him, leaning up to kiss him softly. "We can wait and find the perfect place. With a yard and apparently a garage and enough bedrooms for guests and a few projects for you to complete because I know you, Matt Casey, you need to make this place yours. If you're really going to settle down, I think it needs your mark on it. So, maybe we're looking for more of a fixer upper."
"It'd be fitting." He sort of half-smiled. "I'm a bit of a fixer upper myself."
"Matt, if you're a fixer upper, you're the best-looking fixer upper I've ever seen."
"Well, the aesthetics maybe alright, but the structure…I'm a bit of a mess."
"That's okay. I've always liked fixer uppers anyway." She kissed him fondly. She meant it, too. She liked him, loved him, exactly as he was, even with all the messy bits from his childhood and his parents and Gabby and Hallie and everything else he'd survived in his life. Right now, for some reason, Matt was focusing on the scars. She preferred to focus on the fact that despite the scars, he was the best person she'd ever met, and that told her what she needed to know about his character. Even back when they were just friends, when he was dating, engaged to, married to Gabby, she'd admired his conviction and his innate goodness. She'd only come to love him more in the intervening years. So, yeah, she'd take some scarring. She wasn't afraid of the work necessary, not when the reward was him.
