This is a work of fanfiction. All characters (except Emerald) belong to Aphmau / Jessica Bravura.
Cover Art belongs to Aphmau / Jessica Bravura.
Please don't sue me.
Asch sat brooding on his throne, going over the events of the previous day. "I am the prince of Daemos," he murmured, scowling in thought. "My destiny is a great honor." Even as he said the words, his mind flashed images of everything he had endured with the two human females so far.
The Daemos prince was almost disgusted by the surge of emotions he felt thinking back to how all the Daemos had received the caress. Still, he continued to muse on the situation. "It makes no sense... there is no reason for them to tolerate us as they do. If our positions were reversed, we would have harvested them without hesitation." He frowned. "But, then we never would have learned of Princess Ava's lineage and power, nor the potential for magic from this world.
"My thoughts continue to betray me... " he muttered in irritation.
A voice broke through his brooding. "Your mind wanders far too much these days."
Asch's eyes shot open to see Rhys standing before him. "Uh... how long have you been there?"
"I just arrived." The spectacled Daemos paused, as if collecting his own thoughts. "We all know you sit on that throne when you're lost in thought."
"I watched my father ponder in this manner for as long as I can remember."
"Tell me: what's on your mind?" At Asch's continued silence, he decided to venture a guess. "It's the caress Princess Ava and Dame Emerald gave to us yesterday, isn't it?"
"How do you know?" The Daemos prince seemed stunned by his advisor's insight.
"It's still on my mind, as well. I didn't realize such as action would have such a... grasp on me like this."
"Do you think it's their magic?"
"No doubt. But... it confuses me. We have been working under the assumption Emerald does not have any magic."
"As she told us herself."
"Indeed." Rhys paused, looking concerned. "Yet, this action seems to suggest otherwise. It might be possible that the humans of this world possess a sort of... passive magic that does not require any techniques we are familiar with." He closed his eyes. "It seems my emotions have been compromised with thoughts of both Ava and Emerald."
"A mind control tactic?"
"I can't tell." Rhys shook himself, opening his eyes again. "Regardless, I feel there's something else on your mind."
Asch nodded. "You are my grandmother's sole pupil. Has she ever mentioned anything to you about solving the Magic Crisis?"
"N-no." Rhys shook his head, suddenly looking even more nervous than before. "I mean, aside from the mission we're currently carrying out now here on Ee-urth. I'm not aware of any other method, since this has never happened before on Daemos."
"It happened a very long time ago," Asch murmured softly, as if in a trance. "The Royal Family will pay in some way."
"Did you say something, your majesty?"
"Ah, nevermind." The Daemos prince quickly recovered his senses. He rose and descended from his throne, but paused halfway out of the room. "Rhys: do you like it here. On Ee-urth?"
"I'd be lying if I said no," he confessed, looking pensive. "What about you?"
"I think we need to learn everything we can about Ee-urth... even if it takes longer than we hoped." He stalked out of the room, brooding again.
Rhys sighed, both in concern over Asch's current mood and in relief he had not pressed harder about other possible solutions to the Magic Crisis. He felt he'd narrowly avoided giving everything away... and not just about Lady Grandma's plan.
The truth was, the spectacled Daemos felt he had been severely compromised by the caress from the humans. Especially if last night's visit with Emerald was anything to -
"I have this bad feeling about Asch."
Rhys turned towards the source of the voice, staff already brandished in front of him. Leif was hanging upside-down on the ceiling, but quickly phased upright to stand in front of him.
"Oh, calm down," the former assassin scoffed, hands resting casually at his sides. "If I wanted to kill you and Asch, it would have been done long ago. I just happened to be passing by and heard your conversation."
He scoffed, but put his staff away. "What do you make of it?"
"He's in no rush to get back to Daemos, it's pretty evident."
"To be honest, I don't think any of us are." Rhys nodded in the direction Asch had gone. "What do you think his reason is?"
"Don't know, don't care. I for one am amused by Ee-urth."
"Let's just hope that someone unwanted doesn't come looking for us."
Leif scoffed at the idea, grinning. "No way anyone can make it here without Lady Grandma. I think we're fine."
"What am I doing?" Ava sighed as she knelt in front of the washer, seemingly mesmerized by the spinning drum.
Emerald glanced up from the book she was reading and gave Ava an unamused stare. The veteran was stretched across the table in the apartment building's public laundry room, her own clothes already going in another machine. "I would hope you're doing your laundry, since it's the whole reason we're even down here right now."
"I mean, the whole thing with the Daemos. I can't believe we gave them all a kiss... I mean, it was on the cheek, but what if they think we meant more by it?"
"It's a little late to be worrying about that now, isn't it?" The veteran sat up, closing her book over the bookmark. "Why not just relax and... see what happens next?" She smiled. "Who knows, maybe you'll find you want to get to know one of them better."
"Why? Have you already got some picked out?" Ava straightened up and gave her an accusatory glare, but it didn't seem to have any real energy behind it. "Maybe two blue-eyed Daemos with dark hair? One with glasses, the other with muscles for days?"
Emerald gave her a non-committal shrug. "Maybe, maybe not." She met Ava's eyes. "It doesn't really matter though, does it? You're the one they've set their sights on, so it seems a bit pointless for me to get involved."
"You could at least try leading a few of them off of me. I mean, I thought you were supposed to be helping me out."
The veteran looked like she'd been slapped. "Are you... seriously trying to guilt trip me into pity-dating multiple guys because you think it's my job?!"
The shorter woman got the feeling she'd crossed a line. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just... I didn't really think about what I was doing last night and I'm sorry I dragged you along into it." She sighed, looking away.
Emerald rubbed the back of her neck, looking worn out. "Well, it got them to shut up about that whole 'marriage' thing, so there is that."
"Marriage? Already?" A soft voice cooed from the doorway, catching both their attention.
"Mrs. Oates!" Ava squeaked out in shock before rushing forward. "Here, let me take that for you." She carefully tried to carry the elderly woman's basket, shocked when she didn't let go.
"Oh sweetie, just because I look a hundred years old doesn't mean I feel a hundred years old."
"Are you a hundred years old?" The shorter woman looked even more unsure of herself.
The old woman laughed loudly at that, deftly taking her clothes basket back and opening one of the free washers. "I'm confused," she continued, looking between the younger women as she loaded her clothes. "Don't you two have a laundry room in your apartment?"
"Yeah, we do. But... uh... " For once, Emerald seemed at a loss for words.
Mrs. Oates rounded the table, going to the smaller one to drop off her basket. "Avoiding your 'boy toys'?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"No, wait!" Ava cut in, immediately blushing. "They're not our - !"
"Oh, I know," the elderly woman interrupted, smiling kindly. "I'm just teasing you. I'm going to assume those boys live with you two?"
"Yeah, they do." At a look from the shorter woman, Emerald sighed. "Look, there's no point in denying it at this point. I'm pretty sure she's known for a while now."
Mrs. Oates nodded. "I figured as much. I hear them yelling a lot of the time, but they see to care about you two."
"I mean... yeah," Ava admitted. "For their own benefit, it seems."
"Most people are kind for different reasons. The entirety of the human race is only nice in hopes that we don't kill each other. We mutually benefit from that." She gave them a knowing smile. "I would assume you two aren't kind to those boys unless you're getting something out of it yourselves."
"Uh... "
"I mean... "
Mrs. Oates laughed kindly. "You know Ava, ever since you moved into this apartment building, I haven't seen you this happy." While the short young woman mused over her words, the senior turned to Emerald. "Emmy, on the other hand... "
The veteran's head shot up. "Huh?"
"You seem like you've been a bit stressed this past week. Is everything okay?"
"Oh, uh, yeah." She cleared her throat. "You know how it is: work, helping Ava get settled, making sure the guys don't fight too much. If anything, it kind of reminds me of when I was still in the Air Force... " She trailed off again, looking sad.
Mrs. Oates shook her head. "You know, at some point, we have to stop being so stubborn and be honest with our feelings. If you're both happy to have friends, you should enjoy them while you have them... before they leave you."
"Have you had friends leave you before, Mrs. Oates?" Ava sounded a bit sad.
"Oh, plenty. Some because we just faded apart and because, well... I mean, they died."
"Oh! I'm sorry... "
"No, no! It happens! It's a natural part of life, but my point stands. It's better to have had people who you care about then none at all."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Ava agreed, looking a little more cheerful.
On the other hand, Emerald seemed downright dour. "There's a point where it gets tiring watching everyone leave you behind," she murmured softly to herself.
"Did you say something, Emmy?"
"N-no! Just thinking out loud." She gave a short bark of nervous laughter. "You know how it is sometimes."
"Oh! That reminds me: I bought a gift for you two."
Ava looked both confused and intrigued. "A gift... for us?"
"Yes! Follow me."
Emerald jumped off the table and followed along behind them, still deeply lost in thought. 'I can't do this forever,' she thought miserably. 'I need to talk to Ava soon. But... at least she won't be alone. The Daemos will stay with her.' She felt a small, sad grin creeping onto her face. 'It's not like they'd even notice if I left, anyway.'
Back in the apartment, Noi and Rhys were over near the bookcase, browsing more of the books Emerald had left out for them from her room. Pierce was sitting on the couch, calmly surveying the scene. Leif popped out of the portal and took a good look around the living room. "Has anyone seen Princess Ava?"
Noi turned to face him. "Um, she's not in her room."
"Did you go in there without permission?" Rhys sounded disappointed in the smallest Daemos.
"Gah! J-j-just to check on her and m-make sure no one killed her!"
"I check up on her as well, in case someone tries killing her." Leif scoffed. "Someone has to, since Dame Emerald seems content to neglect her duties at night."
Rhys glared at both of them "Princess Ava asked us to not enter her chambers without permission! At least Prince Asch has the decency to - "
In what could only be described as comedic timing, the Daemos prince chose that particular moment to throw open Ava's bedroom doors, stalking out in irritation. "Has anyone seen Princess Ava? She isn't in her room."
The spectacled Daemos looked to the couch in desperation. "Pierce... please tell me you don't - "
"I check on her as well."
"Gah! No wonder Princess Ava and Dame Emerald seem to get frustrated with us. Some of you can't follow simple instructions!" Rhys sighed tiredly. "Have any of you done this to Dame Emerald?"
Asch made a disgusted noise. "No. Why would I waste my time on a lower-class human?"
"Same here." The former assassin looked around at the others. "What? If she was guarding Princess Ava competently, then we wouldn't have to check."
"I, uh... " Noi swallowed hard. "I visit her sometimes, but not too much. She still scares me a bit."
Pierce nodded again. "I also check on her."
Rhys let out another exasperated noise. "All you have to do is ask permission. Dame Emerald was more than accommodating when I knocked on her door last night."
The Daemos general looked at him oddly. "What were you doing in her room?"
Before Rhys could answer, the front door banged open. Instead of the two human women appearing, there only followed more banging and grunts.
"Princess Ava?" Leif phased away, confused by the noise.
Rhys shouted after him. "Leif! For the last time, stop using your magic to - Oh, you know what? Just forget it... "
"Careful!" Emerald grunted, pushing against the side of the over-sized television stuck in the doorframe. In hindsight, she probably should've gone and grabbed one of the spare sheets from the linen closet to help slide the machine through the opening.
"I'm... trying!" Ava called back, pulling ineffectually at the other side.
They were both so focused on the task at hand, neither one was particularly surprised when Leif suddenly phased into existence next to them. "Princess Ava! What are you doing?!"
"Do you think... you can help us... pull this in?"
Leif carefully took hold of the side Ava was on, ready to pull, when -
"Wait!" Emerald slid over the top of the box, running to the laundry room. She soon came back with a silk sheet. She hopped back to the other side, wiggling the sheet between the sides of the television and the doorframe. "There, that should make this a little easier. Hopefully it doesn't leave any marks... "
Working together, all three quickly got the machine through the doorway. Emerald stopped to examine the doorframe once they were through, motioning for the others to go ahead and take it into the living room. Once there, Ava directed the former assassin to place it on the coffee table.
Rhys cocked one eyebrow. "What is this?"
"This is a piece of ancient Earth technology. It's something from the Dark Age in our history," Ava began explaining mysteriously.
"A 'Dark Age'?" Asch sounded intrigued.
Leif's eyes were huge with excitement. "Now I'm interested!"
"This is a TV. Long before the smartphone and the computer, the TV was a primary way humans would get their information. It was like 'one in every household' and surprisingly, as much as people hated them, they actually brought people into the same room, as opposed to the technology of today."
"Whoa, I'm gonna stop you right there on the whole 'Dark Age' description." Emerald walked by the kitchen, coming to a stop next to the couch. "I know how adamant you are about computers and smartphones being the pinnacle of technology, but TVs are still a valid entertainment medium." She grinned. "Besides, don't you have that huge wall-sized one in your room? I'm still surprised we even managed to fit it in there in the first place... "
"Fascinating!" Rhys's expression changed from enthrallment to confusion. "But... why do you have this one now?"
"Well, it's actually a gift from Mrs. Oates. I didn't want to accept it, but she was insistent. It's actually too bulky, but I didn't want to turn her down." The veteran gave the machine an affectionate smack on the side. "So this TV is for you guys now instead."
"For us?!" The spectacled Daemos was back to fascinated again.
Asch, however, was still in a mildly combative mood. "But why? Why can't we just use the com-poo-ter?"
"Oh, I'll tell you exactly why," Emerald began. "I allowed Rhys to use the computer out here once... "
"What are you doing?" Leif walked up behind Rhys, staring at what he was doing. "I thought I destroyed this thing."
The spectacled Daemos glanced over his shoulder from where he sat at the computer desk in the living room. "Dame Emerald fixed it, and has allowed me access to this 'com-puter'. She said I can gain all the knowledge we need from it, if she is busy with her duties and unavailable to answer questions."
"Really?"
"Yes. I'm trying to brush up on my reading."
Both Daemos started as the computer gave a sudden beep, Leif drawing his weapons out of habit. "What was that?!"
"Something... popped up."
The former assassin gasped in shock. "It's a human female!" His expression quickly morphed to one of confusion. "Why's she puckering her lips at us?"
"I... don't know?" Rhys seemed unsure himself.
"What does it say?"
"Uh... " He squinted at the screen. "It says: 'Hot Singles... Looking to Meet You... in Your Area'. They want to meet us?"
"And they possess the power of fire?"
"I don't like this... "
"Leave it to me!" Leif leapt forward with a screech, smashing his knives into the computer repeatedly.
"No! Leif, stop! Not again!" Rhys tried, in vain, to suppress the former assassin's frenzy... to no avail.
"Look, I just won't go near that thing ever again." Leif seemed a bit annoyed at being reminded of his mistake.
"It's not just you I don't trust," Emerald sighed, looking around at the others. "Before that little episode, Rhys clicked on a ton of ads and the computer got a virus." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Honestly though, that's my fault: I shouldn't've just given you free rein without making sure you knew what you were doing. So... I'm not trusting any of you guys alone with the computer ever again. Period."
Rhys cocked an eyebrow. "So, what's to say we won't do the same thing to this technology?"
Ava jumped in, eager to show she was helping just as much. "Well, you can't click on ads on this one: all you can do is just change channels. So, this is for you guys. We're going to leave this TV to you. Okay?"
"What do we do with it?" Pierce didn't seem all too impressed with the gift.
"Just watch it: I'm sure you can learn a thing or two from it."
"Enough," Asch interrupted, although more calmly than he usually did. "Let's talk about the marriage."
Ava gasped in forced horror. "Oh my God! I suddenly got the urge to become responsible!"
"W-what?"
"Oh man, I have to go look for a job and do a lot of actual adult things!" She laughed nervously, avoiding the glare Emerald was sending her way. "I really got to take care of this, so I'll be on my phone in my room. Bye!" She booked it towards her bedroom door, slamming it shut behind her before anyone could say a word.
"It seems Princess Ava is busy," Pierce observed quietly.
Asch sighed tiredly. "I-I suppose she has duties to attend to. It... it's upsetting it came to mind as soon as I mentioned 'marriage'."
"I'm... I'm sure she just needs a moment," Noi added, trying to be helpful.
Emerald sighed in frustration. "I never thought I'd say this... but I agree with Asch. It is a bit too convenient that she suddenly has this overwhelming desire to do things she's supposed to have been doing all along." She gave the Daemos prince a commiserating grin. "But I do appreciate how you handled it. Thank you."
The Daemos stared at her in open shock. The one dynamic everyone had pretty much come to accept was Emerald and Asch would never be able to interact peacefully with each other. Both seemed to have come to the mutual agreement to simply avoid talking to the other: the fact they'd held any sort of civilized conversation was amazing.
The mood in the room seemed a bit too much for the veteran, so she hurried to change the subject. "Anyway, about this TV... "
Noi tilted his head. "What about it?"
"As it is right now, you're not going to be able to watch anything. It needs an antenna or a receiver, otherwise it's just going to show static."
"Stah-tick?" Rhys frowned at the unfamiliar word.
"Ah, right," she murmured, pinching the bridge of her nose under her glasses. "It's basically a scrambled signal. The receiver will translate the image and sound into something you can understand." She walked by them, headed towards her room. "I might still have one in my closet, let me take a look."
When she emerged empty-handed a few minutes later, Emerald was surprised to see all the Daemos still waiting in the living room. "You're all still here?"
"We are waiting for you to bring us the 'ree-see-ver'," Rhys explained.
"It looks like I don't have one after all. I'm gonna have to go out and see if any of the second-hand stores have some in stock." She turned to leave. "You guys are more than welcome to see if you can figure it out, though. I shouldn't be gone too long."
As soon as he heard the front door close, Asch turned to his advisor. "Rhys, what... w-w-what's the deal with this?"
"I'm not so sure." He came over and picked up the remote, pushing a few buttons experimentally. "I'll sit here and try to figure out how this works."
"Very well. Call us when you find something."
"Will do." Rhys was already focused on the task at hand, so he didn't notice when the other four Daemos went back through the portal.
Hours passed.
It was early evening by the time Emerald got back from her errand. As expected, it had proven difficult to locate a receiver that would hook up to the older TV, but she had finally succeeded. On the way home, she stopped by the Japanese cafe across the street and picked up some bento boxes for dinner.
As she took her shoes off near the front door, she was surprised to hear frustrated clicking coming from the living room. 'Don't tell me... ' The veteran walked into the dark main room of the apartment, unsurprised to see Rhys sitting on the couch in front of the TV. He kept clicking the remote in his hand, although she was pretty sure the batteries in it were dead by now.
"Rhys? Have you been trying to get the TV working the whole time I was gone?"
"Ah, Dame Emerald. Yes, I thought I might at least be able to turn it on and observe the 'stah-tick' you spoke of earlier." The spectacled Daemos looked worn out.
She gave him a sympathetic smile. "You're not missing out on anything exciting, I promise you that." She held out two of the extra bento boxes she'd picked up. "Here: I picked up some new food for you guys to try. Why don't you take these and we'll get the TV started up tomorrow?"
"Are you sure?" Even as he spoke, Rhys was eyeing the bento hungrily.
Another smile. "I'm sure. I think you'll all enjoy it more after some food and a good night's sleep." She put the boxes in his hands, then turned him around and aimed him towards the portal. "Now scoot: I'll see you guys tomorrow."
Just before he was about to pass through, Rhys paused. "Dame Emerald? About yesterday... "
She held up a hand. "Not the time. We'll talk more about it later, okay?"
He nodded, reluctantly. While he had grown used to Princess Ava making promises that never seemed to pay off, he knew Dame Emerald would not leave him waiting forever. Assured, he took the food offerings through the portal to the others.
As soon as he'd gone through, Emerald went over and set a bento box outside Ava's door. After a quick text, she turned back to the TV. Behind her, the sound of the door opening and crinkling plastic reached her ears. After a few seconds, a soft "Thanks, Em," came to her ears, followed by the door squeaking shut.
No sooner had it closed completely, Leif phased down right next to the veteran. "So, this thing stumped even Rhys. Hmm... " He hummed as he picked up the remote and studied it closely.
"There's no point in playing around with that right now." She deftly took it from his hands. "I think Rhys killed the batteries clicking it all day, so I'll have to replace them before it'll work again." She gave him a closer look. "Why are you out here right now, anyway?"
"I was watching Rhys try to figure this thing out, but it looks like it completely stumped him. I thought maybe an unconventional approach would be better." He grinned as he pointed at the TV. "Also, it would really stick it to those snobs that were raised in the kingdom!"
Emerald sighed as she took the receiver out of her shopping bag. "If you were thinking about just hitting it until something happens, I'm afraid that only would have broken it. It's not as fragile as the computer, but you still need to be a little bit gentle."
Leif went around the back of the TV while the veteran began plugging in the receiver on top. "Oh! Hey, I think I know how this goes! I've seen Princess Ava do this plenty of times with her phone." He bent down and inserted the plug into the outlet. "Oh, I actually did it. Cool!"
Emerald let out a small, disbelieving laugh as she attached the last few wires. "You mean none of you made sure it was plugged in first? That's like, the first step in seeing if something works! Then again, I guess you guys wouldn't have known that, seeing as you've all chosen magic instead of technology in your society... "
He ignored her, circling around to the front again. "Nothing's happening."
"I told you: I need to fix the remote." She picked it up, deftly popping off the back and ejecting the old batteries. She slid the new ones in, then set it down on the table.
"Wait, you're not going to turn it on?"
"No. I promised Rhys we'd turn it on tomorrow. For now, I suggest you join the others back in the portal if you want a chance to try the bento before they eat it all." She picked up her own food from the kitchen counter, patting Johnny Cat on the head as she passed by on the way to her room. "Go to bed, Leif." She closed the door to her own room, leaving the former assassin alone in the living room.
Leif continued to ignore her, picking the remote up off the table where she'd left it. He pointed it experimentally at the TV. "Maybe this will... " He gave a barely-noticeably jump when the TV sprang to life. "I-it worked?! Ha! Leif has brain after all!"
"Hey, you!"
"Huh?" The former assassin froze, startled by the voice that seemed to be addressing him directly from the TV.
"Yeah, I'm talking to you, nerd! You wanna get the girl of your dreams?!"
"Of course I wanna steal the princess from Asch. I don't feel the current Royal Family of Daemos deserves to be in power, and if I can do anything to usurp power while keeping respect, then I'd like to - "
The sleeveless man with the washboard abs on the screen pointed directly at him. "Then you need to watch this episode of 'A Jerk's Guide to Gettin' the Woman of Your Dreams'!"
"Huh. Alright then! You know what? If this helps me, then sure: I'm for it."
"Lesson One: The Kitchen and the Girl... "
"Huh?" Ava groaned as she opened her eyes, sniffing the air. "What's that smell?" She sat up, stunned to see a full breakfast laid out on a tray resting on her bed. A glass of milk, pancakes with butter and syrup, even the pot of flowers Noi had given her a few days ago: everything was presented beautifully.
"W-what's this?"
"Like it?"
"Huh?" She turned towards the sound of the voice.
"I made it for you," Leif purred, standing nearby in an ill-fitting suit. He gave her a suave grin, one which was nothing at all like the toothy, fang-filled one he'd tried that first day in the apartment.
"Y-you what?!" Ava was horrified to feel how brightly she was blushing. "Why would you do that?!"
"Because I love you," he answered smoothly.
"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait: what?!" She made a series of blubbering noises before finally blurting out "No!"
"Yes."
"No!"
"Yes."
"NO!"
"Why is it hard to accept my love?" Surprisingly, Leif didn't seem frustrated at Ava's repeated refusals.
"Because I can't accept anything! A-and breakfast in bed is moving too fast, how did you even make this without Em finding out?! And... where did you get that suit?!" If possible, she blushed even redder. "It's stupidly way too tight for you!"
"Oh yeah, I guess it is." He reached up and casually ripped both sleeves off, making Ava almost choke. "Now, Ava..." He leaned in close, lowering his voice to a whisper. "... let's talk about our feelings."
Out in the living room, the other Daemos were looking around in confusion. "Has anyone seen Leif?" Rhys asked, pausing as he noticed something in the other room.
The other Daemos all shook their heads, Asch responding with a flat "No."
"Why is the kitchen a wreck?!" The spectacled Daemos grew more concerned as he studied the mess. 'Those look like the ingredients Dame Emerald used the other day to make pancakes. Did something happen while she was cooking?'
Before he could muse on it further, they all heard Ava give a short scream from behind her bedroom door.
"Leif!" Pierce shouted, spurning the others into action. As they ran towards Ava's door, Rhys noticed Emerald running at them from her bathroom. It seemed she'd just gotten out of the shower, as she had a towel wrapped around her torso, wet hair flying freely behind her.
All of them burst into the room, the veteran leading the way, but skidded to a halt once they took in the scene before them. Leif was standing there, feeding Ava pancakes from a tray resting on her bed. As they watched, one piece slipped off the fork and landed in her lap.
"You dropped a pancake on me!" the shorter woman laughed, picking it up and popping it into her mouth.
"Wh... what is going on?!" Asch seemed absolutely gob-smacked.
"Oh, Leif and I were just talking about our feelings!"
Leif sighed. "Yeah, but then I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to shut her up with pancakes."
Ava's face fell. "Oh... I thought you were just being nice."
"Uh, yes. That."
"Princess Ava... is actually talking to you... and not running from you?" Rhys seemed to find the situation amusing.
"Yes. I figured out how to win the affections of the human female."
At his words, Emerald couldn't contain the bark of laughter that escaped her. "Well, I wouldn't go that far quite yet." At his expression, she laughed again. "You've picked up some pretty good tips, I'll admit that, but there's no one formula that'll work for every single woman you encounter."
Leif glared at her. "Well, it worked for the one that matters, so who cares?"
The veteran looked like she was contemplating whether it was worth it to argue with him or not, seeming to decide on the latter. With a shake of her head, she turned and left the room, pausing to take in the mess in the kitchen before going back to her bathroom.
Ava turned to Leif. "I was actually gonna ask you about that. You came in here not wanting to kill me for once... so I let my guard down. What happened?"
"I'll show you."
Leif led them to the TV, turning it on with the appearance of a seasoned pro. "Check it out."
"Welcome back, jerks!" Apparently, another episode of the show was on already. "The next thing we're gonna teach you is how to put a woman right where she belongs - "
Ava glared at the TV. "Oh hell no, I - "
" - right in your arms as you gaze at her lovingly with the mutual respect you two have for each other as human beings, because she belongs in your heart. Oh yeah, dig it!"
"Wait, that wasn't I was - "
"Next you're gonna stab her!"
"Oh my God, I can't believe - "
" - metaphorically with love and affection! Make sure you listen to her wants and needs as it's a great way to build a healthy relationship!"
Leif was practically puffed up with pride. "See? This human really speaks to me. And it worked!"
"Interesting." Rhys seemed curious.
Noi laughed happily. "I wanna learn!"
"Me as well," Pierce added.
"You know what? Whatever helps them learn proper manners... " Ava turned away, but then noticed Emerald was in the kitchen cleaning up the mess Leif had left. It looked like she'd gone back to the bathroom at some point: she was now dressed, although her hair was still wet and hanging loosely against her back. She paused for a moment, then sighed and headed over to help. "What can I do?"
The veteran looked over at her, then nodded towards the boxes on the island. "If you want to get those put away, I can wipe down the counter once they're out of the way." She got the dirty pan off the stove, placing it in the sink before grabbing the sponge.
"I was thinking... it looks like letting the guys watch TV to learn manners is working really well so far." She put the cereal box back in the pantry. "Might as well let them learn from it and save ourselves some time."
Emerald shook her head immediately. "You know how they take everything literally: if we're not there to help them understand what they're seeing, they might get some... weird ideas about how society works on Earth." She started scrubbing the island countertop. "It's like raising kids: you can't just plop them down in front of a screen and expect them to learn everything they need to know about being a proper citizen."
"Well then, it's a good thing you don't have any work to do right now, huh?" At the veteran's incredulous look, Ava scoffed. "Oh, come on. It's not like you're doing anything else, right? Besides, I'm supposed to be looking for a job, remember? How am I supposed to focus on that if I'm being distracted by all their questions?"
Emerald sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose again. "If I agree to do this... you have to promise me you'll actually look for a job, not just sleep and hide from everybody in your room. Okay?"
Ava grinned, giving her a small hug. "See, this is why you're the responsible one! You're so good at this 'adult' thing. Bye!" Before the taller woman could say anything, she retreated back into her room and shut the door again.
The veteran made short work of the rest of the clean-up, then grabbed her cup of tea and joined the Daemos in the living room. They had all settled down to sit on the furniture, thoroughly entranced by the man on the show.
"Also remember about the kitchen and your girl! Always make sure you have food in it for her, especially the things she really likes! Breakfast in the morning is always a great conversation starter!"
She passed around behind them, taking a seat on the arm of the couch next to Rhys. Noi was seated in the armchair nearby, eyes aglow in wonder at the TV. They both acknowledged her with a quick nod before turning back to the screen. 'Okay,' she thought, taking a sip of her tea. 'Let's see how accurate these "tips" Leif picked up really are...'
