Chapter 17
Give and Take
2004
Chip was not thinking about his lack of impulse control as he pulled into the parking lot of Sloth's Tap House early on a balmy Florida afternoon. A popular joint among the Tallahassee college crowd, Sloth's also happened to be where his girlfriend—soon to be ex—worked.
In hindsight, he really had been stupid to get involved with someone like Lexie. Vivacious and blonde, she was an outgoing rabbit girl, gorgeous and witty. The total package. A teenage boy's dream, and then some. But she was also flirty, handsy, and brazen. She practically hung from her guy friends' shoulders whenever she encountered one of them, always leaning in during conversations and flipping her hair. Why had he not seen it sooner?
You knew. Jordan was right. You knew what she was like, but you ignored it.
If Lexie's indiscretion had not been bad enough, she often accused Chip of flirting with his girl friends, when he had done nothing of the sort. He realized now that she had been projecting her guilt onto him, as dishonest people often did. Still, he wished Jordan or any of his brothers had saved him some embarrassment. He had not even found out from Jordan. Dusty had told him.
Whenever he needed an escape from Omega Psi Phi, Chip would spend a few hours at the Arcade Lounge, a local karaoke bar. No one from his fraternity hung out there, and he liked to chill out, drink cheap beer and eat lemon pepper drumettes while watching sloshed patrons try to sing Savage Garden songs. He often ran into students from Taltech who weren't in his normal social circle but were good for interesting conversations. That's how he had become friends with Dusty, who was a pit member in the school's marching band.
"So, you and Lexie split again?" Dusty had said over his burger last night.
"Uh, no. Who said that?"
"Oh. I just figured…"
"What, Dusty?"
"Damn. Now I wish… I'm sorry, man."
"Who said it?"
"Look, I was at Sloth's last night with some friends. As we were going in, I saw Lexie outside, on break, I guess, and…she wasn't alone, and they were up close and personal. I won't elaborate, I mean, unless you want me to."
There was a long pause during which Chip said nothing, his anger growing. He could no longer pay attention to the man on stage, tipsily warbling the lyrics to "Crash and Burn".
"Anyway," Dusty continued, "he followed her back in and sat at the bar all night, or at least until we left."
"Who?"
"I dunno. Dark hair. Beard. Looked older than her by a couple of years. Never seen him 'round Taltech, so… But some guys from your frat were there. A big dude—they called him 'Jordan'. He was with a couple of others. One of them was wearing an Omega Psi Phi cap, so that's how I knew. They sat in Lexie's section near the bar. They didn't tell you?"
Chip had left Dusty behind at the Arcade Lounge and headed straight to O. P. P., where he found Jordan in the massive kitchen, using the restaurant-grade range to grill two ham and cheese sandwiches.
"What the hell, Jordy?" Chip said loud enough to echo off the high ceiling, causing Jordan to jump and nearly miss the plate as he tipped his sandwiches out of the pan. "Lexie had her tongue down some assclown's throat at Sloth's the other night, and you didn't tell me?"
Jordan brushed Chip off with ease.
"Maybe you would've seen it for yourself if you had just come with us instead of staying in all the time. See what you miss out on by acting like a seventy-five-year-old man?"
"So that's why, payback because I didn't want to hang out? We're supposed to be brothers."
"No, dude. I didn't tell 'cause it really shouldn't be all that shocking to you. You knew she was the village bike when you got with her. Did you expect that to change? What—did you think yours was so special she'd stay loyal to it?"
He kind of had thought that, if he was being honest, but he would not admit it to Jordan.
"So, you're saying she's done this the whole time we—every time we've been together?"
Jordan snorted as he chewed. "If you want my advice, just hit it and chill. Enjoy the ride and try not to think too hard about all that other stuff. You'll just drive yourself crazy if you do."
"This, coming from a psych major," Chip said, shaking his head.
"Nmm-mmm. Communications. Lone wolf can't even remember his brothers' majors… You could break up with Lexie, you know, find a girl more your speed. There're plenty down at the senior center, dying for a young buck like you to help them with their cross-stitch patterns."
That's why he was at Sloth's right now, not lending a second thought to the social entrepreneurship lecture he was missing. The night before, he wanted to call Lexie right away and call it off for good. Instead, he had wrestled with the idea of appealing to her and trying to make it work, which had only taken his mind to a darker place. He remembered the times Lexie had broken up with him, claiming she found him emotionally unavailable or asserting her doubts regarding his trustworthiness. That was rich. He had been the one to fight for less parties and more one-on-one dates so they could connect on a deeper level. He was the one who sat back and tried to remain calm as she all but sat in other guys' laps in front of him. He always begged her to take him back, believing he was the problem. He had sworn to change, promised to be better if he could just keep her, and there he was, falling into the same trap. He could not keep Lexie because she was never his from the jump. Chip had pocketed his phone, sat at one of the tables in the courtyard of Omega Psi Phi all night, drinking and seething.
Chip closed the door to his shiny blue Porsche and steeled himself. Maybe this was not appropriate, confronting her here, but neither was all the pain and humiliation she had put him through. It was time to return the favor. He locked the Porsche and headed toward the entrance, and that's when he saw him crossing the parking lot from the opposite end. Chip stood still. Could this be Lexie's side piece? He was a brown monkey, early-twenties with a medium build. Black hair and neatly-trimmed beard. He donned sunglasses and a rusty-brown leather bomber. It was nearly eighty degrees outside. Who wore a leather jacket in eighty-degree weather?
Cheating A-holes, that's who.
The man took off his glasses as he pulled open the front door and entered Sloth's. Chip followed him, fist clenched. A hostess he had never seen, possibly because he had never been in Sloth's this early, greeted him at the door, but Chip intercepted her before she could do her spiel.
"You're good," he said as casually as he could maintain. "I'm meeting someone here. I'll find him myself, don't worry."
He gave a wink and breezed past her, winding his way through the crowd which was sparse before the typical evening rush. Lexie would have begun her shift minutes ago. He stayed close to a partition wall that was near his shoulders in height, in case he needed to duck. He wanted to assess Lexie's section, to see if assclown had wound up there. He had. His rusty bomber was easy to spot as he sat at the bar, reaching for the pint he had just been served, while Lexie leaned in to whisper in his ear. Bomber guy watched Lexie as she sauntered away to the kitchen with his order. She was in for the surprise of her life.
Chip straightened up and walked to the bar, taking a stool right next to bomber guy. He gestured for the bartender to give him a minute, and picked up a menu. Bomber guy looked at Chip, giving him a side-eye for choosing to sit so closely when there were several stools available. The man's shoulders hitched, and he stared straight ahead, sipping his beer.
"I can't decide what to drink until I know what I'll be eating," Chip said to bomber guy as he held the menu closer, pretending to consider Sloth's offerings. "Not sure if I should go with street tacos or brisket nachos. What about you, beardo? What are you having?"
Bomber guy turned to look at Chip. "Hey, why don't you stop being a creep and move down. Who the hell are you, man?"
"I'm Lexie's boyfriend," Chip said calmly. "Soon to be ex. Soon to be for good. You don't look surprised to hear about me. Did she tell you she was seeing someone? Did you guys laugh?"
"You're here to kick my ass or something?" said bomber guy.
"I don't care about you enough to make the effort. Besides, I'm not a fighter. But public humiliation…that's how you really hurt someone."
"Chip?"
Lexie had returned, a look of trepidation plastered to her face as she clutched her ticket book holder to her chest. Chip smiled at her.
"'Sup, Lex?" he said as loudly and clearly as he could without shouting.
"What are you doing here? I thought you had class," was all she managed.
"Weird. I used to think the same thing about you, but now I realize you're just a manipulative, cheating skank."
Lexie gave a quick, horrified glance around her section as if to make sure no one had heard that. Some had, and they were beginning to stare.
"Stop it, Chip!" she hissed. "I'm trying to work, and you're causing a scene!"
"That's part of the plan, baby," he said, coming down from his stool. "I was just telling your little boink buddy here about how I'm going to break up with you. I'm almost done."
Lexie approached him, got in his face. She acted as if she were angry with him, but her eyes were pleading with him to stop.
"I can't believe you have the balls to be this mad at me," she said in a low voice. "Don't act like you never slept around."
"You're right. I did. When I wasn't in a relationship. But when we were on, we were on. There was never anyone else because, like a dumbass, I believed you were worth it. You know what's sick? Part of me still thinks I'll be missing out on something if I cut you loose. This is more than cheating—you messed with my mind, Lex. And I think…I think you got off on it."
That last part had not been rehearsed, and it hit Chip hard. Lexie did not try to defend herself. She would rather double down.
"You're never there for me, Chip. I had to find someone who—"
"Wow… I get it now. I really do get it. This is your thing. Damn…" He looked over to bomber guy and said, "She's all yours, dude, but not really. I hope you know what you're getting into, both figuratively and literally."
Chip left Lexie and bomber guy at the bar, stopping in the middle of Lexie's section on his way out to proclaim loudly, "And that goes for the rest of you! If anyone else in here has slept with Lexie Thompson, do yourself a favor and hit the VD clinic on the way home! Peace!"
It would be the last time he ever spoke to Lexie. As well, he would never set foot inside Sloth's again.
Present day
After Muffy had cancelled on him Monday afternoon, Chip was at a loss, alone and bored in his apartment, unaware he was about to get sucked into caring about his father. The evening started out innocent enough. He cancelled the Lucien's reservation over the phone and had a Stromboli delivered from a nearby pizza joint. There was no beer in his fridge, so he opted for Perrier, his newfound addiction for which he blamed his little sister, though he preferred orange to Muffy's grapefruit. No beer meant he could end the night early with a scotch later on and hopefully get in some extra sleep.
After dinner, Chip washed off some of his cologne. He had been too heavy handed with it, and it reminded him of his date with Catherine and how it had melded with her perfume at the end of the night, commingling into a new, unique fragrance. He didn't need further reminder of how much he missed her.
He tried to distract himself as much as he could by setting up trick shots on his putting green while The Sixth Sense, part of a basic cable channel's annual Halloween Horror Fest going on for the month of October, played as background noise. Still, he thought about her, the person who made him feel safest, the one girlfriend he could trust, and how it was as if the universe were mocking him by constantly keeping them apart.
Think I'll have that scotch now…
Chip left the green to pour one for himself as the movie went to commercials. First up was one for Certified Pre-Owned of Elwood, a somber ad that stressed the dealership's devotion to the community in addition to the importance of its thorough vehicle inspections. He was only half listening as he tipped the bottle of Glenfiddich 15 Year over a glass, until the parting lines made him take notice.
"Safety. Service. We never compromise. Located at Fifth and Main in Elwood City."
"Huh?"
Chip looked up with a jerk, sloshing some of the scotch onto the granite pass thru top as he did. The commercial was already over, and another for body wash had begun.
Fifth and Main was the location of Crosswire Motors. What happened? Why was Certified Pre-Owned of Elwood there instead? Had the big guy sold the business? Had Crosswire Motors gone out of business? Chip decided he did not care, then sat down on the sofa with his scotch and his laptop anyway. He turned off the TV and set to work, hating himself for giving into his curiosity. Things started off with a simple test. Chip typed "crosswiremotorsdotcom" into the browser. He was promptly redirected to the website for Certified Pre-Owned of Elwood. The sleek main page flashed several images that looked like stock photos of smiling car salesmen helping smiling customers on a lot, the only difference being Chip recognized some of the salesmen as the big guy's long-standing employees. Between the photos flashed the phrases "Safety" and "Service" and, finally, "We never compromise". The slideshow ended, settling on an exterior photo of the business itself, which stood exactly where Crosswire Motors had, only it had undergone an extensive remodel, appearing shinier, more modern. There were many large windows, and the business's name was emblazoned across the building's façade in gleaming red lettering.
"Established two thousand and four?" Chip mumbled. "Okay, what's going on?"
There was a drop-down menu for dealer info, and he glanced over it. Usual suspects like business hours, reviews and testimonials, and contact info were all available, but he was quick to click on the one he really wanted to see: "Meet Our Staff".
Chip was greeted by a picture of the big guy, which had been expected yet somehow more unpleasant than anticipated. It was a family picnic portrait, obviously staged. Three of the four Crosswires gathered together at an outdoor table, dressed in their finest casual summer outfits. Perfectly-plated barbecued ribs and corn on the cob sat before each of them. His parents held hands as they smiled at the camera, while Muffy draped an arm across her father's shoulder, giving him a hug.
At the top of the page was one of the most sickening things he had ever read:
MORE THAN STAFF, WE'RE FAMILY
Chip distinctly remembered being told that staff were tools when the big guy took him on a tour of Crosswire Motors at the age of eight. It had seemed cold even then, before he had seen his father for what he was. Unable to stomach the picture for one more second, he backed out of the page.
He found it hard to believe the big guy had altered his point of view on the matter. This whole act about valuing safety and family was just that, an act. But why turn this into his angle? Why change everything about his business? He was now Googling the big guy in spite of himself. A link to Certified Pre-Owned of Elwood was the first in line, followed by several others, all about his father, most pertaining to various philanthropic efforts he had either spearheaded or otherwise involved himself with in some capacity. One article in particular stood out to him: "Ed Crosswire on How He Balances Family, Business, and Community".
Chip's phone rang before he could have an internal debate over clicking the article. He was pleased to see that it was Catherine, and he forgot all about his online rabbit hole.
"How was dinner?" he said to her, checking his watch. It was after nine-thirty. He really had fallen in deep.
"Fine," said Catherine, sounding tired. "I met Traci, the new roommate. Kind of quirky, but she seems nice. Great bangs. I got the number for her salon."
"That's cool…"
"Listen," her tone went from zero to serious business in a heartbeat. "We really need to talk."
"Uh, all right," he said cautiously. "You first?"
Had she finally come to her senses? Was today the day she finally called it off?
"I just have to be honest, Chip… It really bothers me that you think I'd cheat on you."
Chip wanted to jump to his defense, assert that he had not thought that, but he could not lie to Catherine. He had thought that. There was nothing to do except be honest himself.
"I get that, Cat. It bothers me, too, because I know what you're like. You wouldn't. But I couldn't help myself. Lexie screwed me up, and I haven't had a decent relationship since. I undermine myself, always, because I don't want to stick around long enough to figure out if the next girlfriend is lying to me. I don't want it to be that way with you. I know it doesn't have to be because you're the most honest person I've ever met. I'm sorry I forgot that for even a second. Please, don't break up with me."
"I don't want to break up with you. I want to try to make this work. That's why we need to talk. I know it seems like nothing is falling into place, whether it's because of your schedule or mine or whatever, but I don't want to give up. We have obstacles, and we need to figure out how to navigate them. Separation and phone tag and suspicions are only going to hurt us."
"Yeah…they will."
"You said you'd wait as long as it takes. Did you mean that?"
"Yes, Cat. You're not just the next girlfriend, you're worth sticking around. I just lost myself that night. Again, I'm sorry."
"Why don't you come over," she said.
Chip paused in the middle of reaching for his scotch, wanting the drink now more than ever. Was Catherine suggesting what he thought she was?
"You're serious? And walk on forbidden ground?"
"It's taken some time to adjust to the idea," she said slowly, "but this is my home now. If I want to have someone…a man over, I should feel free. There's no rule against it. Also…it's not lost on me that you've done a lot for me since you got here, made sacrifices."
"I haven't kept score."
"I know you haven't, and that's beside the point. A relationship needs give and take on both sides in order for it to work. I've been doing all the taking. It's time I gave a little. And…I miss you. I really do."
Chip swallowed. As many times as he had told Catherine he missed her, she had never said it to him. He had no clue what had held her back all this time, but hearing her say it now made his heart leap.
"I'd rather talk to you face to face than over the phone. If the conversation goes well, maybe we can do more than just talk."
"I'll get my coat," he said without another moment's hesitation.
Chip was out of the apartment in less than a minute, leaving his research material behind on the coffee table. The laptop was still open to the page of search engine results. The Glenfiddich remained undrunk.
To be continued…
