"Girls, come on, get off yer damn phones and talk with us," Sophia sat, with the rest of the family plus one, on one of two of a set of sofas that looked like they were bought in the 60s. The sofas were surprisingly well-kept and seemed close to new, and none of the family knew if they were actually from the 60s or not. Where they were, in fact, was in Grandma and Grandad's house, in the highlands of Scotland. It was a warm farmhouse that had been built in the 1890s by a cow farmer. Jason and his parents lived there after the farmer moved on, and apparently, they stayed living in this house since then.
Thomas sat in an old rocking armchair at the end of the living room, as if it were the head of the table. It was made of some sturdy oak wood and soft fabrics. Elizabeth sat next to him in a similar chair, a small wicker basket of knitting supplies beside her.
The wallpaper of the room was a clean beige and the ceiling was painted white. There were numerous photographs and objects on show around the house, one of the most prominent things being shown was in the hallway just outside of the living room, and it was all of his medals and the balmoral cap from when he served the military. The mantlepiece was home to quite a few photographs of Thomas' and Elizabeth's family; their children and their children's children as well as his sister's family.
There were two specific photographs that caught Jason's eye when he entered the room, and it was one of himself in his officer's uniform standing behind a woman seated in a chair, a girl on her lap and a young boy standing beside the woman. The other photograph caused a twinge of pain in Jason's chest, it brought back memories that he didn't want to resurface.
Jason, along with Seamus, Douglas, and Charles, were sitting or standing on the Firefly known as Ginny. Jason was sitting in the cupola drinking from a cup, and from his memory it was tea, Seamus was standing on the hull having a rolled-up piece of netting passed up to him by Charles, a large smile on his face. Douglas was sitting cross-legged on top of the turret next to Jason eating from a mess tin. He was eating chicken and beans if he could remember rightly.
"You aw'right, son?" Thomas placed a calloused hand atop Jason's left shoulder and followed his gaze. Jason turned his head away and looked at his grandad, seeing a somewhat saddened but nostalgic look in his eyes. He was a man in his late 70s, but looked fit and healthy. He stood at about six feet tall without a crooked back or dodgy bones, and he always seemed to have a smile on his face. Although he was an avid drinker, he only had a few glasses of whiskey every night unless it was a celebration or holiday - then it'd be quite a few glasses more.
"Aye, I'm alright. Was this great-grandad then?" A timid point was aimed at the man in the cupola, only just realising that he was the only one looking directly at the camera.
"Mhm, he was a great man. You would have loved him, such a kind person. Couldn't have asked for a better father. Y'know, you bear a striking resemblance to him, it's strange," Thomas took a moment to think, and looked over the photograph that first caught Jason's eye, "That's me, the boy standing next to ya great-grandmother. The girl on her lap is your great aunt, she's a doctor. Can't remember what for but I don't care either," a light chuckle came out of him and he continued, "That man there, the strikingly handsome man, is your great-grandfather."
"Who are the others in this photograph?" Pointing, rather than picking it up, Jason referred to the photograph of his crew. They all seemed happy, stuck in this moment forever with smiles on their faces. It was a photograph he can remember having been taken, but he couldn't remember who took it.
"Them? Ah, aye. Well, the man sitting next to your great-grandfather Jason was Douglas Hitch, he was best friends with this cheeky wee man called Charles Samson. they were like two brothers, couldn't separate them. Until, of course..." Thomas' expression turned colder, and it brought a lump to Jason's throat. He silently hoped it wasn't true, that Charles died before they could stop fighting. "He died in Korea... along with three other crews. I only met him once, and that was before they went off to Korea. I was only maybe... three? at the time. I was born in '47, he left in '50, aye, I was three."
"Been a while then,"
"Aye," Thomas chuckled, "it's been a while," he took a moment to look at the photograph of his parents and sister.
"That was Ginny, wasn't it? The Firefly?" Now carefully picking up the photograph of the tank crew as if it was an ancient relic, Jason focused on the tank that the four men were on.
"Oh, aye. Ye must have become quite acquainted with her in the last year. How is she?"
"Runs like a dream, she's coming back to Scotland soon. I'd say maybe a day or two until you see her again,"
"I watched the matches, by the way," a large smile grew on his face, "when watchin' ya, it reminded me of your great-grandfather."
"Maybe I just take after him, somehow,"
"Heh, somehow, aye," Thomas' eyes became softer, and wetter, and he swallowed hard, "you know, your Great-grandad knew this day would come. The day when you'd be taking his place in the commander's seat. If he were here to see you now, he'd be incredibly proud of you,"
In a quieter tone, Jason responded, "I'm sure we would have gotten on quite well."
"It's a shame he didn't get to see you, if only he held on for a couple more years," Thomas patted Jason's shoulder, the proud smile masking the sadness in his eyes.
"I'll fight in his name, Grandad, and maybe you can watch him again," Jason wasn't sure what he was saying, but Thomas seemed to get it.
"Make us proud, son, I know you will," Thomas grinned at Jason and gently took the photo from his hands, looking over it and then placing it back on the mantle piece.
"I found out just the other day that I'll be working as an instructor for the new university teams. I might be given the opportunity to fight alongside them during matches," Jason stepped away from the mantle, and Thomas sat back down into his arm chair. Jason sat across from him in one of the sofas. The rest of the family seemed to be deep in conversation with Grandma Elizabeth.
"Oh? Which university?" Thomas leaned back in the chair, resting his hands on his lap.
"Cambridge, then I'll be with my girlfriend too," Jason smiled to himself, then instantly regretted saying 'girlfriend'. The room went silent and everyone was looking at him.
"Hehe, have fun with the questions son." Thomas grinned devilishly as Sophia, Elizabeth and Jason's sisters all started questioning him. Jay and Thomas exchanged eye-rolls and light-hearted laughs.
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"Tea, I require tea," Darjeeling, having just woken up from a deep sleep, scoured her cupboards for her box of teabags. Starting her daily routine as per usual, Darjeeling couldn't get one thing out of her mind: getting on the phone with her boyfriend. She knew he was probably at his grandparents' house right now but she still wanted to talk to him. The yellow-haired commander picked up her phone and tapped in a goodmorning message to Jason.
Dressed in a black, knee-length pleated skirt and a white blouse, the young woman was quickly prepared for the day ahead of her. Most of her plans for the time she will spend between April and September consisted of exploration of the land she adored so much and earning some money. Of course as a foreign exchange student, getting money would be difficult so at the moment her living expenses were being paid by her parents. It was something she wasn't proud of but she didn't have much other choice.
Today, she was going to explore the art galleries of Cambridge and learn more about England and its neighbours. She still had lots to unpack and sort out, but she had the essentials sorted. The tea and the things to make it had priority, obviously. Darjeeling was far too excited to explore, and even yesterday she was out and about seeing the English sights first-hand rather than in pictures or videos.
Her morning seemed to fly by, and Jason had began a conversation with her over text so it wasn't all lonely. She hadn't yet made any friends but she was still keeping in contact with Orange and Assam, Kay had also sent her a message from America. Darjeeling had messaged Maho, asking how Germany was but she had been left on read since ten o'clock last night. Perhaps she messaged her too late, or Maho fell asleep on the phone. Then Darjeeling felt guilty for keeping her up, but then again Maho was already up that late anyway so it wasn't really her fault.
She played it over in her mind for a while, but in the end she brushed it off and got on with her day.
Jason had filled her in on his successful application as an instructor and warned her that he might 'suck at instructing' because he's only had a year of experience in a tank while she's had six.
Little did she know that he's actually had over two decades worth of experience in a tank, and that he was a well-decorated soldier with numerous accomplishments in the field.
Jason had only just found out that he got further than captain, and before he died at the ripe-old age of 91 he was a General in the British Armoured Corps. His jaw dropped too. But instead of saying that he was a general, he spoke of his great-grandfather as if he were someone else.
Darjeeling was excited to learn more about Jason's family and kept asking questions, and when she finally had time to sit down at a café she rang her boyfriend. He was still at his grandparents' house but this gave her a chance to speak with his family. A lot of embarrassment came with it and some cold complaints from Jason, but she was happy to actually hold a conversation with someone other than Jason and her cups of tea.
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It was maybe around one in the afternoon that we decided to go on a walk. It was refreshing, and I began to realise I truly missed Scotland. It had been around eight years since I stepped foot on Scottish soil, and that is including the strange year I spent in Japan.
I missed it, I truly did. It's not something I can forget, but being back here brings back memories. Whether they're my own or not, I don't care.
Thomas and I strayed from the rest of the family, he said he had something to show me.
He took me onto a back path towards the loch. It wasn't a long walk, but with the gleaming, shining blue of the loch and the rich, emerald green of the hills I couldn't help but stand in awe.
I could remember the highlands being beautiful, but being here, in this place exactly, I couldn't find words to compare.
Thomas, when reaching the end of a path stood before two cairn stone piles. One taller than the other, yet both seemed as looked after as the other.
He was looking down at them both, leaning on his walking stick.
I caught up to him and looked at our surroundings. The ridge we stood on was perched perfectly between the opening of some trees, overlooking the clear blue loch.
I ripped by eyes from the environment and gazed down at the stones. Two inscriptions were beneath them.
The shorter one bore the name 'Katherine Stevenson, loving wife, mother, and daughter. May her song ring out over the highlands forevermore.'
The taller one kept me from looking, as if it were telling me not to read it. I finally looked at it, only glazing over the cloth that was coloured in my clan's tartan.
'Jason Montgomery Stevenson. A great man that wouldn't stop giving. A wonderful, loving husband and father. He served his nation, and it served him in return for the sacrifices he made.' Below it, I saw more writing, but in a different font and emotion.
'Thank you, Dad, for everything. You made me want to be a better person, and even after you're gone I will always love you. We will always love you. You'll be missed. There won't ever be a day where I won't think of you. Never stop being who you are, and we'll see each other again, I promise. Yer wee man, Thomas.'
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I didn't know I was crying until Thomas placed a hand on my shoulder. My son is standing beside me, and I held no memories of the life that this version of myself had.
Before Japan, the only family I had was Seamus, Douglas, and Charles. Now, I couldn't even count my family on my fingers.
People looked up to me, and now I stood in my own shadow.
I want to replace the memories I have with the memories of the man that lies beneath my feet. Is there something he knows at the end of the war that I couldn't?
I want to go back to that day and change my path.
I want to know more about the life I led and the life I lead.
I haven't gotten closer to the truth and I fear I never will.
I don't understand why this happened to me, and how I haven't gone crazy yet.
I don't know anything, and I can't do anything about it.
I cry, because it's all I can do.
I cry,
I cry,
I cry,
I
