TWHACK
TWHACK
TWHACK
TWHACK
Virus and Trip were… Members of Morphine. I was told this from their own mouths. And…I was told a lot of thing I
didn't know before. The story was too incredible too comprehend and I couldn't understand immediately what was being said. But I started to understand its meaning soon and felt despair. And at the same time, I felt anger.
Toward what?
Of course, I got myself in this situation because I was pursuing Toue… They've been deceiving me, these two. Virus and Trip.
And…
I didn't notice anything, either. I can't believe it. Any of it. While losing sight of where I'm standing, confused, I'm surrounded by the members of Morphine. As they keep violently kicking me, the taste of blood starts to fill my mouth. My consciousness is getting muddy. My vision of this unsettling view becomes blurry and dim.
"Is this enough?"
"Probably."
"What should we do?"
"Hmm?"
"About Aoba-san."
"Ah…"
In the darkness, where I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed, I hear Virus's and Trip's voices. Those two voices are kind of toned down from their usual, but it doesn't really feel different from when I talked to them in the Old Residential District. Even though I'm banged up like this, they're the same as usual. When I thought that… I shivered.
Is this their true nature? No matter what was happening before their eyes, they were calm.
…Shit.
Is this it…
I wonder if I am an idiot. I wanted believe in these guys and just pass time with them as usual everyday. That's what I thought… I wonder if I was wrong to think that.
…
…Granny..
…This.
This sound…
…A car?
When I suddenly open my eyes, the scenery around me seems vague and dim. Even though I try to slowly blink a few times; it's like being in water; my vision isn't clear. My head hurts. It's throbbing. As soon as I start thinking, I stop.
This is… The inside of a car?
…Whose?
"How long until we arrive at the arranged house?"
"Hmm—Probably another hour."
"I see."
"Anyway. It's been a while since we've flown."
"Yes. It'll probably take a little while until Toue notices that we're not there."
"He does things at his own pace when it comes to things outside of work, huh. He probably thinks things are the same as usual. We also made sure to threaten the pilot so that he can safely return to Midorijima without a word to Toue. Well, of course it's bad to steal the company jet, so it's just a matter of time until they notice."
"We've planned for that already. Even if Toue realizes that we've dissapeared, the deal with Morphine will cause him problems, since it's out in the won't do something troublesome like follow us out of the country. It's not worth it. Plus Aoba-san is the one we kidnapped, at least, Sei-san is still with Toue. The model of Sei-san's eyes has been completed, too. He won't chase us too far."
"Toue also knew that we wouldn't be under his watch forever."
"Yes. He knew of that likehood even before we did. So it's natural that he must have assumed this outcome, too."
"We can't return to Japan anymore."
"That doesn't particulary matter to us, but I suppose I feel a little bad for Aoba-san."
"Even if you say that, we originally had no intention of coming back."
"Pretty much."
…I can hear voices. But because of my dull headache, I can't understand what they're talking about. If I open my eyes a little bit,a shadow blocks my view.
"Are you awake? Aoba-san."
"…"
My eyes start to focus gradually, and I realize Virus is the shadow that's blocking my view. That face is smiling like always.
"It'll be a little while longer before we arrive, okay?"
"…Arrive?" When I open my mouth, a hoarse voice comes out. My lips are also rough and dry.
"Yes. I'll wake you up when we arrive, so, Aoba-san, please go ahead and sleep."
Sleep…?
…No, something like sleep doesn't matter. There are still things I want to hear more of… I can't remember well. Against my own will, my eyelids become heavy. My headache gets worse as I become nauseated. I can't wake up. Was I fed sleeping pills…? My head is so dizzy that I can't stand it anymore and I close my eyes.
"The medicine hasn't worn off yet, so it's tough, isn't it? It's fine to keep sleeping."
Something covers my eyes. It's cold. For a moment I think it's ice. But this is probably…
Virus's hand.
Cold…
Like a doll's hand. But because of the drugs, my mud-thick drowsiness won't let me stay awake. Maybe because of the coldness of Virus's hand, it feels like needles are piercing me dully. The feeling is also gradually getting further away…
Into the black frozen darkness, my consciousness slowly sinks.
No,I mustn't fall asleep. I have to wake up…
Quickly…
…
…1.
5.
4.
2.
1.
1.
5.
4.
2.
…2
…..Huh?
Just now, was that right? Before it was… 15421?
No.
15422?
…I don't know anymore. I don't know how far I've counted. In the first place I don't know why I was counting to ten thousand.
…Did I stop? Afterwards I was counting in my head. So maybe I'm really at twenty thousand. Maybe thirty thousand… Well…Whatever is fine.
1.
5.
4.
2. …3?
1.
5.
4.
2.
"…" In this space still as death, a sound echoes.
…They've probably returned. There's no other noise to hear, after all. Even counting numbers, it's because there's nothing else to do. I can't see anything. I can't move around. Literally, my hands and feet are cuffed. So the only thing I can do is count numbers. The door makes a sound as it opend, and footsteps calmly tap across the hard floor. There are two sets of footsteps.
"We're home, Aoba-san."
"We're home, Aoba."
I hear the voices of two people. My masters have returned. I welcome the two in silence. The hard, cold floor has become completely warm because of my body heat.
… I wonder how long will I have to stay here. But it's certain that I've counted over ten thousand. I don't know if it's actually over twenty thousand or thirty thousand. My sense of time had been paralyzed since a long time ago. Now, I don't know how long it has been since I've been brought here from Platinum Jail. I can only do what these two tell me and wait for them to come home.
… I wonder if it's inconvenient for caterpillars to move forward and backward like they do. Or if they can move freely. More than me now.
"Aoba-san, it looks like you've gotten used to this. You've been bound like this when we got out for… almost a month?"
"Right. Around that, probably."
"At first she attempted to escape and was pretty violent."
"The places where her hands and feet were tied had pretty bad wounds. Now… they've healed considerably."
Whose… It's probably Trip who's approaching me and lifting my arms by the handcuffs. Even though I can't see, I know where the two are by sound. Since my vision is covered, my body has to rely on my sense of hearing. I can pretty much hear where everything is.
"It's a good sign that she has become accustomed to this."
"Yeah. Oh—But…"
Trip's presence moves slightly.
"It seems like she wet herself."
Wet myself…?
…Oh , I see. I'm always lying in the same place, so I couldn't tell. Maybe I'm already immune to that kind of thing. The sense of smell, too… No. I've just gotten used to it.
Currently, on top of being blindfolded, I'm lying on the floor with both hands and feet bound. My wrists and ankles are fitted with cuffs, connected with a chain, so I can't do anything but lay on the floor, curled in a fetal position. Because of that,I can't even stand up. I lie here, just like like a caterpillar. But I've gotten used to this. No, rather than getting used to this, it's like I can't feel anything. If I can't do anything for myself, I just have to give up. At first I fought, trying to find any way to get out of the cuffs, but they just painfully dug into my limbs. Always being curled up like this is hard on my joints. Sometimes the pain of not being able to get up almost drives me insane. It's terrible not to have control of my own body.
That's… Something I never could have pictured before. But now, I can't cry or scream. I can only lie waiting like this. I can't feel anything. It's strange, but I can't feel the pain in my joints anymore either. Perhaps that's why… I didn't notice that I soiled myself. I thought Trip's words sounded like they were about someone else, that they've "done it again". Shortly before this, when I wet myself, I was so embarrassed and miserable that I felt like crying. I tried really hard to keep from wetting myself, but it was impossible… I cried out of frustration and cursed my fate to have experienced it.
What did I do?
Is it because I was born as a designer baby made by Toue?
Is that bad?
It wasn't something I wished for.
Why do I have to go through such treatment?
Who should I hate?
Fate, god?
Virus and Trip?
Toue? Granny? Myself?
…It doesn't matter anymore.
I just want to die. Just kill me, I thought. How many times I cried frustrated tears… I've already forgotten. The one who said people get used to their environment was Virus. Those words were true, weren't they.
"She always wets herself, so it can't be helped."
Virus's shoes come closer as he stands beside Trip.
"Since it's normal for humans. What comes out, comes out."
"Naturally."
"But it'll be okay to stop this soon."
"Stop what?"
"Tying Aoba-san up when we go out."
"Oh. You're right." These tow exchange words as if they're talking about what they should do for tonight's dinner. Listening to their carefree conversation, it feels like, more than me, they're the normal ones. Like I'm the only weird one, and those guys are the decent ones…
I wonder what's right and what's wrong. I don't even have the energy to judge that. Not anymore. Rather it doesn't matter. Even if I judge them now, nothing would change my situation. Since the chances of me escaping from this place are close to none.
Before, I tried using my voice's power against these guys. They said their eyes were made to withstand the effects of Sei's eyes. It looks like their entire eyes were replaced. But their eyes the only things that were touched. And so I thought, if that were the case, my voice could work against them.
And I tried it.
…But I failed. Both Virus and Trip heard my voice, but nothing changed.
Why didn't it work? This entire time I've been bound and neglected, I've been desperately thinking. I went over what I could have done with my power as much as I possibly could. Now, when I think about it, perhaps it was just something to keep myself from going insane. Like they've said themselves, Virus and Trip have no clear sense of tenacity or greed.
No wishes, not hatred. Not even anything they hold important. No objectives nor goals. No indication on how to live. They don't have anything like that. As long as it's fun, anything is fine, they said.
That's not normal.
That's…
Aren't they missing something from their hearts? People, more or less, hold some kind of uneasiness in their hearts. Although human emotions are varied, usually people are bound by the anger or sadness within their hearts.
With Scrap, I can work within people's hearts, whether it's memories from the past, stubbornness, resentment, or regret… I am able to work with those things. Using my voice's power, I can win over the person's consciousness and intervene while they are dazed. Of course, a heart doesn't just have negative things; it has precious memories and love along with regret and guilt. Scrap can attack those as well. Negative things aren't the only thing it can destroy. That's why I can target positive things as well. Rather, it depends on if I decide to use it and how I use it to disable someone.
…Even so, it had no effect on Virus and Trip. At least, it looked like they weren't affected by it. After those two heard my voice, they blankly said to me: Just now, that was Scrap, wasn't it?
At the time, I couldn't believe it, but now I understand. They're empty. Their empty hearts move only to catch something they think is fun. But no matter how much they fill their hearts, they can't be satisfied. To begin with, there is nothing in them. They're just vessels, unwilling to accept anything. That's why Scrap didn't work on those two. Scrap couldn't attack them because there was nothing inside to attack.
When I understood that, I didn't have any choice but to admit defeat. It felt like those two were dolls. Scrap is ineffective against dolls. There's nothing I can do.
I can only give up.
"Sorry for giving you such painful memories, Aoba-san. Are you okay?" Virus's voice echoes in a tone that sounds as if he doesn't really care. "But to take away someone's free will without using violence, this method is tremendously effective."
"Leaving you alone so you can't move at all is neglect play, right?"
"I don't want to put any unnecessary wounds on Aoba-san, so violence is no good. To do that, things have ended up like this." Virus's voice pauses, and something touches my hair. Virus is stroking my hair. A weak stimulus runs through me and my body shivers a bit.
"Since you naturally cannot go to the bathroom in such a state, this is to be expected. But Aoba-san, you don't like this either, right? For an adult like you to wet yourself, even if it can't be helped. If you were normal, you would remember how to hold back. Because it's absolutely terrible. Even so, you had to give in. Since it's the body's natural desire. Having said that, you can't do that obediently, right? It's humiliating, right? So incredibly miserable that you want to cry."
His voice is close. His tone is kinder than usual, as if he were talking to a child. But… It's on purpose. What he's saying is far from kind. He's completely explaining a situation I don't want to think about, making me face the miserable reality that I've averted my eyes from. Before… When I wasn't used to this situation yet, his words left traces on my mind, making me feel terrible. This might also be a trick. To take away my free will…
"Well we don't care at all about the stuff that comes out of Aoba."
"Yes, we don't mind. But Aoba-san does, right?" Virus's hand that's stroking my hair stops and his voice gets further away, almost to where Trip is. His tone also returns to normal. "Repeating this psychological abuse, no matter how long a person hangs in there, their pride will be chipped off little by little. I mean, Aoba-san, you won't think about running away now, right?"
"…"
"She doesn't have the strength or willpower to resist us. It's so much easier to just listen obediently to what we say, right, Aoba?"
"Right. Aoba-san gave up when we caught her. At that time, you knew of our decision."
"We thought we would leave Aoba alone if she didn't give up, but that wasn't the case. Since you were weak, you wanted to be caught by us. At least, that's how it looked like to us."
I always hear the voices of these two, as if they're falling from above. Far off into the distance… in a place where they're out of reach. It's like I'll never be able to go up where they are, as long as I'm here…
"It's not like we ever swore allegiance to Toue. We saw this as a chance to finally have our dear Aoba-san, so there was no reason for us to stay."
"The Aoba we've longed for was in front of us, right?"
"Right. Well, it's about time we get you to the bathroom. We'll wash you."
"…"
Either Virus or Trip takes off my cuffs and lifts me from behind. Prompted by that movement, I slowly stand up. There was a dripping sound and a strange feeling, like my thin skin was peeling from the floor where my legs were bent. That part of me is lukewarm and wet, and because of gravity, a moisture runs down my skin. …Oh. It's my urine I was soaking in. I don't think it's dirty or unpleasant anymore. Since I was in the same position for nearly the entire day, my legs are unsteady as I walk. My joints are stiff and weak. Stumbling and being supported on both sides, I'm taken to the bathroom.
With Virus and Trip's guidance, I sit in the bathtub's shallow, warm water. My hands and feet are free, but the blindfold is left as is. After a little bit, the shower's water comes raining from above. The blindfold absorbs the water, making it stick closely to my eyes. It seems like the wounds from the handcuffs from when I resisted have healed, since it doesn't hurt anymore under the flow of hot water. Maybe it's because I can't feel anything anymore.
"I'll wash your hair today." Virus said.
"Then I'll do your body." Trip added.
Their voices echo through the bathroom, followed by rustling sounds. I sit absentmindedly while being struck by the shower water, and I feel a sharp feeling run through my hair.
"…"
Virus handles my hair carefully and gently. Even so, it seems like I still have feeling when people touch it.
"… Ugh…"
I hold my breath and grit my teeth. Virus's fingers slowly rub the foamy shampoo into my scalp and moves to rustle my hair. Each time he does, a pain similar to itchiness runs through my hair, and I unintentionally grab the edges of the bathtub with both hands. I hear the sound of water dripping.
"It must be difficult for you to have feeling in your hair. I suppose I'll have to wash it gently."
I hear Virus's voice behind me.
"Hrf…"
"But a trembling Aoba is cute."
Trip takes my legs and begins washing them with what feels like a sponge.
"Sei-san had feeling in his hair before as well, but it doesn't seem like he does at all anymore. Even if I say that, Sei-san became the subject of experiments as soon as he was born, so he probably didn't have the chance to voice whether he was in pain or not."
Sei…
His seemingly, transparent, and glazed expression floats through my mind.
…I wanted to save him.
"Sei was already like a doll by the time we met him. Well, more like he was already dead. "
"Right."
These two are…
Way before they knew me, they knew Sei. I don't know how much longer before, but…
I wonder if Sei has always felt like that. Like even though he was alive, he was living as though he were dead.
Sei…
"…"
When I think of Sei, I feel anger and bitterness stir abruptly in my chest. That feeling reminds me that I'm not dead yet, and it surprises me.
The more I remember Sei, the stronger my feelings become. If I had known about myself much sooner, I might have been able to save him. When I was living with Granny in peace, Sei was always suffering. Machines and tubes were stuck throughout his body, taking data. He was suffering more than I am now, and he knew that no one would come to save him. Even if he wanted to die, he couldn't. In that situation, he struggled alone… And never wished for anything. Help didn't come. The people around him were only there for their experiments, and his cries would never reach them. No one treated him as human being. Over and over, his heart was pulled around thousands of times in despair, continuing to receive treatments worse than death. And his choice in the end…Was to do nothing. It hurt just to think or feel. So he didn't think of anything. Didn't see anything. If he acted like how those around him wanted him to act, then he wouldn't be unnecessarily hurt. His heart became nothing. Surely that was Sei's conclusion.
…Now I understand. Because I would do the same thing. Don't think about anything,. Don't feel anything. If you do, someday, it'll destroy you. Perhaps it's our instinct to do that in order to prevent ourselves from completely breaking down. Even so… Now I understand Sei's feelings so well that it's painful.
Sei…
"Oh, Aoba-san. What's wrong? Your nails are digging into the bathtub."
They must be interested in my reaction. Their hands stop.
"Haha, perhaps… It's because you remembered about Sei?"
"…Sei…"
It's been awhile since I've spoken, so my voice is so strained it doesn't sound like my own.
"What about Sei-san?"
"Sei… now…"
As I say that, my nails dig even deeper into the bathtub. Asking these two something myself… it's more humiliating than withstanding the horrible treatment from them.
But…
Is Sei safe, I wonder? Is he living properly? That's all I want to know. At the same time, I think about why I want to know more about Sei. When I'm reminded of Sei, I think about him so much, it's as if I'm craving him. That's probably because… I'm escaping from reality and guilt. Not only I was unable to help Sei, but I was placed in a desperate situation, too. I can't escape this place. Instead, I…
I can imagine the suffering Sei went through and empathize with his feelings. But Sei has to be suffering much more than I'm right now. So, I'm still in a better place. With that thought, the pain I'm enduring lessens a bit. Like I understand why Sei escapes from reality and realize how I'm doing it myself… Because of that, feelings of repentance for Sei overflow. Guilt quickly becomes regret for Sei.
…I'm the worst.
"Sei? You want to know about Sei? Hmm, it's rare for Aoba to ask something from us. Guess you're interested in your older twin brother, huh."
"Seems like it."
Sure enough, their voices are flowing with a tone of obvious enjoyment. … I knew this would happen, I didn't want it to. I don't want to entertain these guys anymore. I want them to hurry up and get bored of me. If that happens, surely they'll throw me out like a toy they're no longer interested in. I don't know how, but at this rate… They'll probably kill me. Even though I wish for that to happen, when I think about Sei, my thoughts immediately stop. Like a flame flickering in the dark, my feelings waver inside me.
"Aoba-san. Regarding Sei-san, by all means, we want to answer your question, but unfortunately, we don't know whether he's alive or not. Anyway, we won't be returning to Midorijima… no Japan."
"We might be able to look into it, but not now."
"Yes. But it's not like we were very close to Sei-san in the first place. Even if we were in charge of him, it was more like we were observing him."
"Like bodyguards. Everyone around us were just researchers, after all."
"Well, when we heard about Sei-san's powers, we were pretty surprised. I thought he was a god or a magician. He wasn't man-made, but real."
"But Sei was with Toue since the beginning. That's how it was. We thought he was amazing, but nothing further. "
"Right, right, he was pretty much a treasure beyond anyone's reach."
As he say these words void of any feeling, Virus begins washing my hair again. When he does, a stabbing, needle-like pain runs through my hair.
"Ah, I'm sorry. Are you okay? Your hair got tangled around my finger and I ended up pulling it."
"Aoba, lift your leg. …Like that." Trip also resumes washing my body. Enduring the pulsing pain through my hair, I move my leg as Trip told me. "Since we were aware of Sei's power, we were surprised when we found out about Aoba's, too."
"We thought: there's someone like Sei-san with a similar power, too? And they were twins. It was unbelievable." Virus said "Although I've never believed in things like fortune-telling, I couldn't help but feel that it was fate."
"The Aoba we first met was truly, incredibly cool."
"The Aoba-san in those days was so rough, you wouldn't think the Aoba-san today is the same one. She was quick to fight, did drugs and alcohol, and played around with men. But it didn't seem like she would cross lines like commit murder or lose all reason."
"…"
I don't remember the past clearly. But in the time I've been with these two, my memories of the past have begun to come back. Now, I can remember my past much more than before.
Because my parents left Midorijima…
Little by little, I became unstable. I no longer laughed at the things that I thought were fun, and I no longer cried at the thing that I thought were sad. Even if I thought something was strange, I didn't know the cause. I didn't realize there was a darkness in me…
After a few years, one day…
Suddenly, the balance of my mind crumbled. It was as if I lost my footing and abruptly fell off a cliff. All of a sudden, everything made me anxious, including Granny, and everything around me felt unstable.
I was scared of an unknown feeling and I holed myself up in my room for days. Granny was worried and checked on me. When she knocked on my locked door, I trembled. The sounds of the knocks were like footsteps chasing me…
I could only hide under my cover and hope they would disappear. I became weaker and weaker as time went on. I only left my room to use the restroom. I stayed in bed and lost the will to eat or drink. As I stare blankly at my ceiling… Nothing mattered anymore, I thought. Being scared and worrying were getting tiring. I didn't know why I was so anxious or why I thought everything was scary.
But that didn't matter.
I was tired of thinking.
Whether I lived or died, it didn't matter. But if I tried to die, that would take effort.
Even dying was troublesome.
If that were the case… Then I would try handing myself over to the carefree flow. I knew guys who lived by simply having fun and not doing anything. They met up in alleys and were the kind of people who just wasted their time there. I avoided being influenced by them. They found their own depraved ways to have fun. That's why I never associated with them. Up until that point, I lived completely differently…
But now I thought maybe it was all right to try living the same way they did. I thought nothing mattered anymore and decided to join one of their groups. I might have been trying to deliberately hate myself. I tried to live like them, in depravity.
I hardly returned home.
Still, it was difficult for me to give up the morals I'd made for myself. Even back at the beginning, I must have already had an idea that it was troublesome and not like me at all. Even back then, it felt like nothing I did was very fun. There was always an empty feeling, as if my emotions were being filtered. But since I had already started, I did as much as I could.
Then I… Had an accident. No… An accident happened.
I broke my Rhyme opponent's mind and crippled them.
At the time, I wasn't aware that I'd use Scrap. But I noticed that inside me, there was some kind of power. I didn't think it was dangerous. In fact, I felt a sense of superiority.
Having already been corrupted, I thought I was different from everyone else. I'd used my power before but never went so far as to break someone. That's when I first realized it… When I destroyed someone beyond repair.
I did something unbelievable.
Rhyme could cripple people. I already knew that and I knew someone who had been crippled by it.
But I thought that was just someone else's problem…
When I became responsible for crippling someone, I realized the seriousness of the situation for the first time.
It was like all the blood drained from my body, and I blacked out… When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed.
Why was I in a hospital?
Rather, what happened in the first place?
With no recollection of what had happened before I woke up, I was confused. My memory of what had occurred was still vague.
'You were in a fight and lost consciousness. The police said you have temporary amnesia about what happened.' Granny said.
That was when I began to think that perhaps that was what had happened.
But, that wasn't true. I used the power of Scrap on my opponent and blacked out. My entire memory up until then was gone too. Granny said 'You used Scrap on the nurse, too.' But I don't remember.
After that, I was discharged and returned to my day-to-day life. But I never went near the Southern District again. Since I was missing memories, somehow my spirits felt dampened.
I didn't want to do Rhyme and I didn't want to be involved with anyone. I didn't want to go home, either. Once in a while, I got into fights with those who held a grudge against me from Rhyme, but that was it.
Something inside me had changed.
But I didn't know what it was.
What did I forget?
What happened in the memories I lost?
Holding that hazy thought, I lived gloomily. I met Mizuki around that time. He'd seen me fight others and invited me to join his Rib team. I declined, but Mizuki and I got along, so we spent time together. Time passed like that until something happened that changed me.
It was when I was connected to Rhyme, where I was fighting at least ten people at once. I tried to be mature, but they really pissed me off and I ended up leaving them half dead. The feelings that were like a flame about to go out flared up and exploded all at once. Perhaps the rage was piled up bit by bit every day when I was living in a haze. But no matter how violently I reacted, the feelings didn't disappear. The haze stayed as it was, and nothing changed.
Self-hatred, regret, anger, frustration.
Carrying those feelings to the extremes, after I was taken in by the police, I was forced to go home.
I hadn't returned home for several days and hadn't seen Granny either. I didn't want to see Granny's face. It wasn't because I hated her, but because of guilt. But since everything had been stripped from me, I had no strength left to resist. I went with the flow and returned home.
After receiving the call from the police, Granny was quietly waiting at the dining room table. I didn't say anything and tried to go past the dining room, straight upstairs.
…That was when I saw it.
Granny's back, sitting alone at the table. It was as if I were paralyzed and couldn't look away. If I looked closely at her small body, I could tell that she was trembling…
Granny was crying.
That day, unexpectedly, was my twentieth birthday. I'd completely forgotten.
Was she worried about me, or was she ashamed at how pathetic I was? I don't know which one it was, but… Either way, Granny was crying. When I realized that, it was like a slap to the face. I thought nothing mattered, gave in to despair, and did whatever I pleased. I never imagined that Granny had been so worried…
I should have noticed earlier, but I'd only just realized how much of a huge idiot I'd been.
Even though Granny had been reaching out this whole time, for some reason, her crying figure pierced my heart. That was probably the first time I saw the weaker side of my usually stubborn Granny.
Granny is… called Granny because she's older than my parents, weaker, thinner…
And small.
I made Granny worry while thinking of nothing but myself…
…What the hell was I doing? I thought Granny would've been better off without me.
But I was wrong.
If that were the case, I'm positive she wouldn't have been crying.
I… did something horrible.
This small person had always been thinking of me.
I held back, returned to my room, and cried alone. I shed tears for all the sins I committed up until then, crying with my face buried in my bed until I couldn't open my eyes anymore…
The next morning, I apologized to Granny.
I apologized for everything up until then and vowed to live properly from then on.
As if she hadn't shed a single tear last night, Granny glared at me, let out a small sigh, and gave me a little smile. And… Said, 'I know.'
At the time, Granny seemed exhausted, seeing her just as small as she was the day before, I promised to never cause her trouble or make her worry again. After being protected by Granny all this time, I thought that was only natural. I was bigger than Granny now. I needed to be the one to protect her.
After that happened, I completely changed my life.
…Granny.
I want to see Granny…
"I'll rinse you now."
"…"
Virus's voice pulls me back into reality.
"Trip. Lift Aoba-san's arm a bit."
"Like this?"
"Yes. The other arm as well."
"Okay, okay. When Aoba still did Rhyme, Usui wasn't there yet, was she? She was in a beta stage, I think."
"Right. Back then, we frequently collected data on Rhyme participants."
Not caring whether I was listening or not, the two continued their previous conversation.
"Morphine was still expanding and Rhyme was still an amateur game without Usui." Virus said. "That was before Rhyme became popular, long before Morphine had any influence, and it became the foundation for Toue to control people's hearts… He was gathering children with aptitude. Trip and I were part of that group."
Sei and I were created as designer babies because of that, too. But I had no idea that Virus and Trip were children picked by Toue. So they were Toue's victims. Even though they don't consider themselves victims…
What Virus said before, about them expanding Morphine… That was what started the rumor in the Old Residential District about the 'mysterious disappearances'.
Now I know.
When the rumor was spreading, Morphine was the one moving around.
"Before, he took children who were talented at playing Rhyme, but… When Ribsteez appeared, he sort of changed his approach. The number of people who play Rib to go against Rhyme have recently increased, right? It was easier to control those who would lose all their reason in an instant."
"It was also convenient that they made teams since they could test a lot of people at the same time." Trip added in.
"…"
Dry Juice was part of that…
Mizuki was involved.
I dig my nails further into the bathtub and Virus continues in an unnaturally innocent tone.
"Speaking of Rib, Dry Juice, the team we took over recently, was the team of one of Aoba-san's friends, wasn't it? The members crumbled quickly, but as expected of their leader, Mizuki-san caused us some trouble."
***
"Shit…! This wasn't the deal!" Mizuki cried out in anger. "We were supposed to become a part of Morphine!"
"Yes, that's exactly right." Virus replied with a calm smile.
"Then release my team! Where are you taking them?"
"Ah, they should be up and at it about now." Trip said with boredom in his tone.
"…What?" Mizuki looked at him confused.
"Your teammates have already been taken care of. We've tampered with the inside of their heads." Virus explained. "They reacted a bit violently, but they were easy to get rid of. And easy to carry."
"And leaving behind bloodstains would be unlike Morphine, right? What was the word… Shadowing away?"
"Spiriting away."
"Yeah, that." Trip nod.
"…You… What are you saying..."
"But as expected of the leader, you woke up immediately and weren't easy to get rid of. That's why we've taken you here." Trip told him.
"It's all right. You don't have to worry because Dry Juice will properly become a part of Morphine." Virus happily informs him. "Like an obedient doll who has lost its will, you'll pledge allegiance to Morphine and work for us in a convenient comatose state."
"Shit…!" Mizuki cursed out in anger.
"It's pointless to try to remember what we're talking about. We'll erase your memory after this."
"Do you have any last words? Even if I say that, it's not like you're dying, though." A chuckle slipped out of Virus's mouth.
"For example, a message to someone?" Trip suggests.
"Right." Virus nod before giving Mizuki a smile at his next words "Like your friend, Aoba-san."
"-!" Mizuki looked at the two in shock at the mention of his friend name. "…" A low anger growl escaped from his throat as he glared at the two. "To hell with that, you shitheads! Aoba has nothing to do with this! Don't involve anyone else. If you do, I'll never forgive you!"
"Haha, I'm so, so scared. If you're so enthusiastic about this, then I'll put you in an especially great coma." Virus laughed.
"How, I wonder? He could be unexpectedly fragile." Trip said.
"Even the other members struggled a lot. Well, if it's impossible, then we'll deal with it then. We have plenty of substitutes."
"Kuh…"
"Well, you're the only one left." Virus looked at Mizuki. "Shall we go? To where your friends are."
"… … Shit. …Everyone, I'm sorry…"
A lone tear fell from Mizuki's eye.
"… I'm sorry…"
***
"Well, it looked like he also broke down because of Aoba's Scrap."
"Yes, Aoba-san is truly amazing. Well, even though recently there has been more focus on Rib than Rhyme… Rhyme was played with quality rather than quantity, and we had several runaways. Rhyme was pretty chaotic without any rules. Even though there were runaways, we were still able to collect good data from the participants. That would be you, Aoba-san."
"We wonder what kind of person you were, so at first, we just came to watch you. Then when we saw Aoba do Rhyme, we were surprised."
"There was no way there was someone else like Sei-san, right? But it looked like Aoba-san was using her powers unintentionally. The date wasn't consistent. That was hot it was, wasn't it?"
"…"
Back then, I had no idea what my power meant. But somehow I just 'knew' of my opponents' weaknesses on the Rhyme field. I thought everyone was the same and had no idea until afterwards that I was the only one who noticed.
At that time, I was under the impression that I was some sort of amazing person. Even if I shouldn't have used that power. I was consumed with the thought of being the only special one, became cocky, and…
I broke…my opponent.
"It was highly likely that since the person wasn't self-aware, Toue didn't know about her." Trip said. "That's why we collected all of Aoba's data."
"If Toue knew about her, then she would be taken and wither away, just like Sei-san. Well, if she was found out, there was nothing we could do."
"Then we checked on Aoba after she quit Rhyme and looked forward to the day we could meet her."
"Yes, yes. When we first greeted Aoba-san, it was intense."
***
THWACK
WHAM
WHACK
THUD
"Aoba, just kill that guy." Yami said.
WHACK
Throwing another punch the man feel to the ground unconscious and covered in blood "Don't wanna, it's troublesome." I sigh shrugging my shoulders "It'd be a waste if he died. It's fine to just leave him half dead."
"Then lemme kill you instead. …Die!" Jason laugh throwing a weak punch at me. "Hehe, you got cocky just cuz you did kinda well at Rhyme."
"If your lanky arm hit us, it wouldn't hurt at all. Aren't you just winning by cheating like the bug you are?" Yami said to him.
"Shut up." Jason snapped.
"Is someone who does the red stuff here? I heard they got more in. What about you, Aoba?"
I lazily shook my head "I don't need it." I said.
"Excuse me, everyone. I'm sorry to bother you while you're in the middle of something. Do you have a moment?" A young blonde hair man with glasses walked up, followed by a look alike.
But none of us cared and continue to fight with the other people that thought it was a good idea to pick a fight between us.
"Hey, hey. We're tellin' you to wait a sec." The other blonde look alike said.
Yami let out an annoyed sigh "…Ah. We're just getting' to the good part, so butt out." He shot the two a glare.
"Even if you say that, it's a bother for us if you fight like this here." The blonde-glasses said.
"Yeah, yeah." The other blonde nod his head.
"What? Who the hell do you think you are?" Jason said.
"Well, someone requested us to do this, but for now, we'll just have to take control of this place."
"What the hell, you're just punks."
"That's true." The blonde-glasses smiled. "But no matter what you say, we're going to take control of this place. So, everyone, please leave soon, okay."
"…Tsk." Yami let out a 'tsk' of annoyance.
"What a pain." Jason sigh scratching his head "Hey, let's go. You too, Aoba."
"Yeah." I nod my head, I was about to follow them but the blonde with glasses stop me.
"…Ah, wait. You there. Could you wait for just a moment? The other are fine. Please leave."
"…What? Me?" I looked at them with a slight glare.
"Yes." He nod "Sorry for the suddenness. I wanted to speak with you for a bit."
"…"I let out a sigh before turning to face them showing that they have my full attention.
"First, please let me introduce myself. I'm Virus, and this is Trip."
"Hey." Trip greeted.
"What the hell are you guys, lookin' alike. Are you guys twins?" I mockingly laugh at them.
"We are not twins."/"We're not twins." They both said at the same time.
"…Are you fucking with me?"
"Not at all, we're not joking." Virus said.
"Then what the hell's your deal?" I asked irritated.
"We've been doing a little investigation recently, and not only are you great with Rhyme, but fighting as well." He said then looked at the guy that I had knocked out then back to me. "The guy you just kicked around over there, if you kept at it any longer, he would have died, you know?"
"…" I let out a 'tch' "I didn't really mean to kill him. It's a pain."
"Thought so. Your Rhyme name is Sly Blue, right?" Trip asked.
I narrowed my eyes at them "…Are you guys trying to fight me under the guise of Rhyme? Just spit it out."
"Nothing like that. You were quite well known as Sly Blue of Rhyme. You never lost, even once."
"We're your fans, Seragaki Aoba-san."
"…"
"Please don't glare at us like that. Our words have no ill will. We truly are your fans."
"Yeah, yeah. Looked like you were have lots of fun with Rhyme and never went easy on anyone. You were so cool."
"…Bullshit." I scoff.
"It's bullshit?" Virus asked confused.
"Yeah." I nod "Not just Rhyme, everything's bullshit. Whatever I do is the same: nothing's different."
"But you've always participated in Rhyme. Was it not enjoyable?"
"It' not like I had a reason to like Rhyme." I told him.
"Then what?" Trip asked.
"Obviously to 'beat someone up until they can't stand.'"
"The instead of Rhyme, wouldn't plain fighting be fine?"
"It's completely different." I told him. "Unless you physically beat them to the ground, you can't win. But Rhyme's different. You're clashing your will against your opponent's, and just one mistake will disable you." A smile fell on my face "Such a risky, fragile, yet simple game?" I laughed "There's no other like it. There's more of a thrill in comparison to just fighting."
"…Fufu. You've definitely realized what Rhyme truly is, haven't you?" Virus chuckled. "But don't you have the same chances of becoming disabled? If that were to happen, surely it wouldn't be thrilling."
"It won't happen. …Cuz I know." I replied.
"Know?" Trip questioned.
"Know what?" Virus asked.
"…" I kept silent.
"Aoba, the next game is almost starting." Ren said walking up to me.
I slowly nod my head, already bored with the conversation between the two. "…Ah, who's next?"
"The opponent is someone you've fought three times before." Ren said.
"He's persistent, challenging me again and again. I should destroy him soon."
"It's better to not overdo it."
"I know." I let out a sigh and began to head off.
"Aoba-san." Virus calls out my name again.
I glared at them over my shoulder "…Still got something to say?"
"It's better to not flaunt yourself too much when you play. I think it's best to focus on your opponent's face as much as you can."
"What?" I raise an eyebrow "I know already…"
Trip cuts me off.
"If you do that… You'll understand even better from now on."
"Rhyme has a weak spot that's rather obvious. If you want to inflict on your opponent an injury they can't touch… You'll understand."
"…" I send the two a suspicious glare turn my body back around to face them "…Just what the hell are you guys?"
"Just your fans."
"We're just your fans, Aoba-san."
They both smiled.
***
I can barely remember the first time I met the two of them. My memories of the past were already vague, and I had no idea that I would end up having a long relationship with them. And now…
….
My head becomes heavy and hangs down a bit. Someone yanks my hair.
"…Ah! Tch…!" My expression twits with pain. Virus grabs my chin from behind and lifts my head. But because of the blindfold, I don't know what Virus's face looks like now. I don't know the expression on his face. I don't know… what he'll do.
…That moment, a chill of dread courses through me.
…I'm scared.
I'm scared.
I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.
"Do it properly, Aoba-san. We need to rinse the soap off you know?"
He says these words with a colder tone than before.
And with that… My body starts to convulse.
"Uaaah… ahh, ahhh!" The inside of my mind becomes white and… I want to escape.
I'm scared.
I want to escape.
I want to escape…!
"Ahhhhhhh…!"
Water splashes around me and my hands and legs flail in the bathtub. I try to stand up, but my shoulders and legs are being held down, so I can't move.
While thrashing around, I realize that I can still be afraid.
…My feeling haven't completely disappeared. I thought I'd become numb, but I was wrong.
I can't be killed so easily.
I can't become a doll so easily.
With the right prodding, I can still feel fear. I can't suppress my feelings that easily.
…Sei.
"Uahhhhhh!"
"Trip."
"Yeah, yeah, okay." As if it's only natural, Trip holds down my body. "Aoba, be quiet."
"Ahhhhhh…!" While I struggle, Trip puts his hand over my mouth. He grabs my chin with two fingers. Without hesitation, he pushes them into my mouth. "Guh…!"
Thick fingers hold down my tongue and extend inside. There's the feel of skin touching the back of my throat.
"Urgh…! Guh, ugh, hrk… Uhh…" I vomit immediately, and I spit out the bitter, sour liquid into the bathtub. Since there's nothing in my stomach, only stomach acid comes out.
It still hurts. Tears blur my eyes.
"There, there, Aoba-san."
Their voices, far too calm, echo in the bathroom.
"Ah, haa…"
Because I threw up, I stopped struggling and Trip takes his fingers out from my mouth.
"You did well." Virus's tone sounds like he's praising me for being an adult about it. The water's dirty. Let's rinse your body with the shower."
"Haa… Ugh…"
"Get up, Aoba."
With the two's help, I wobble until I can stand. The shower's hot water falls on my body again and washes away everything.
"The old Aoba was cool, and we loved her, but we love the Aoba now, too."
"Yes. We love Aoba-san, who's only human but also has the potential to surpass humanity. That's why we'll never come to hate you, even a little."
"Yeah, yeah. We love you, Aoba."
"…"
Day after day, they repeat the same lines: the same words.
We love you. We love you. We love you.
They don't have feelings like love.
After they rinse my body with the shower, they escort me out of the bathroom. After getting out of the bath, the two dry off my body and hair. As if they pity my pain, they never use a hair dryer. But they still won't take off my blindfold. I don't know when they will. Probably whenever it suits them. The wet clothes feels disgusting against my eyes, but I don't say a word.
There are still traces of fear left in me, and I'm oversensitive around them. Whenever they're around, I'm always nervous. I don't know how many times I've felt disappointed in myself. It's not because I'm used to handing my heart over to these two.
But it has become easier for me to obey them.
I'm not used to it, and I'm not numb. My heart is betraying me. For me to become so terrified by just a small change in their attitude… That makes me a slave.
"You've become beautiful, Aoba-san. We've cleaned up the place where you soiled yourself, too. The next part depends on what room you will go to, right? Aoba-san, please choose."
As a continuation to Virus's words, I feel Trip gently taking my hand and prompting me.
"Aoba. Right or left hand, which one? Reach out and touch the one you like."
