I do not own any part of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Welcome back. I hope you're all safe and happy. Maybe this will take your mind off things for just a bit.

As always, love and respect to keamoose for kicking my butt and proofreading my work. Very special thanks to Silvermoonlight GJ and jcmoorehead for their feedback and friendship.

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

As always, constructive critiques, reviews and feedback are appreciated.


Shinji checked his phone: 3:01 am. Another hour down. It was shaping up to be more or less the usual. More frustration, less sleep. Tossing and turning, up and down. The same vicious cycle: TV, Internet, bed, TV, Internet, bed. His time calculations were running full blast.

"If I get up now, it's only four hours til I have to start getting ready for class. I can relax and make my breakfast and lunch. There's no pressure to race for the train. Besides, if I get up now, I'm bound to be up for at least a couple of hours. My luck, if I stay in bed, I'll just start falling asleep and the alarm will go off."

Justify, justify justify, he knew it was all a lie. It was another excuse to avoid failing at sleep. For most people, sleep was a relief, a refuge from reality. It was something even a baby could do, no experience needed. For him though, sleep had become a goal, a task to be completed. A level to conquer. Part of him knew a quick call to Doctor Akagi would give him any prescription known to man, but he'd been down that road and it wasn't the solution. At least he was free to make that choice.

"I wonder if Rei is wide awake right now. Guess she has to deal with stuff like this au naturel from now on," he wondered.

Shinji pictured Rei, laying in her bed, breathing calmly, checking her phone for the time. But where he floundered and failed, she was slowly slipping into the dark, deep hole that was sleep. He imagined her eyes, arms, legs being pulled down and down. Her flesh and skin, pulled away, her aching bones collapsing. He sighed.

"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP"

"Shut the fuck up," he moaned silently to his phone, reaching for the alarm.

The noise continued, getting louder now.

"What the fuck?" He scrunched his still-closed eyes. "That's not…"

He smelled something. It was dry and harsh and stabbed at his nose. Hibachi, trees….

"Smoke!" the thought hit him.

His eyes snapped open as a rush of adrenaline hit. He saw the red light on the smoke detector above the door and finally saw the tiny wisps of grey smoke. Springing up, he dashed for the door and threw it open without thinking.

His first sight, a pair of breasts in a tight, mauve t-shirt.

"Shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Shinji looked up to see Misato furiously fanning at the smoke detector on her side of his door. He looked past her and noticed the entire apartment was filled with dull grey, acrid smoke.

"Help me Kaji will ya, before he?!" she didn't manage to finish.

"Uhhmmm, I think he's up," Kaji laughed, motioning and coughing at the same time.

Misato stopped and looked down at Shinji's blank expression. She lowered her arms and gave him a big hug. "Happy birthday!"

Shinji stood motionless, staring at Kaji with a look of desperation.

Misato pulled back. "Sorry, I wanted it to be a surprise."

Shinji's face formed a question, "Suuuurprise?"

"I made you a birthday breakfast," she smiled, "but things got a bit crazy. You go sit down and I'll bring it to you, Mr. Nineteen Year Old."

Kaji pushed out a chair with his foot and Shinji took a seat. "Happy birthday old man."

"Thanks."

"Got any special plans? I mean, aside from the ca-raaaazy NERV shindig tonight."

Shinji unconsciously winced at the mention. "School, I guess."

Out of nowhere, a plate and mug appeared on either side of him.

"Here ya go. Enjoy!" Misato leaned over Shinji's shoulder and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Shinji stared at the food, unsure what to say.

"Wait! Don't start yet. I forgot the fresh juice," Misato remembered, heading back to the kitchen.

As he waited, Shinji looked at the plate. Runny eggs, charred bacon strips and pale hash browns. He looked at Kaji for help.

Kaji stifled a laugh.

Misato returned with an armload of things and Shinji's juice. She placed everything down and took a seat directly across from the stunned young man.

"I remembered we used to talk about the crazy things Americans eat. You always mentioned breakfast foods. So I figured this was the perfect time to make you a typical American-style breakfast. I looked everything up on the internet and this is what showed up most often. Fried eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns with coffee. I followed the directions on the internet, so I hope it's OK. I think they call those eggs sunny side up," she beamed with pride.

Shinji looked at Kaji who nodded, "She's been on and on about this for weeks."

He looked back at Misato, who was smiling, on the edge of her seat. There were very few times he'd seen her honestly anxious and excited. Something in her expression said this was legit.

Shinji's heart melted and he smiled back. "Thanks Misato, I love it." He dug in and ate the mix of tastes and textures.

Her smile grew as he ate and she regaled them with stories of her research and bizarre food facts.

He was two-thirds done when Misato's phone rang.

"Katsuragi here. Hmmmm. Uh huh, I see. And they," she paused. "I see. Consider it done. Understood, Misato out."

Kaji looked over. "I do love your sexy phone voice," he purred.

"Cut it out!" Misato shot back.

Her tone changed quickly. "I'm sorry Shinji, but that was Fuyutski. I have to go, so I hope you enjoy your breakfast and the rest of your day. We'll see you at the party tonight, OK?" She smiled and mussed his hair.

She threw on her jacket and put on her Major's cap. "C'mon Kaji. I'll drop you at the train."

Kaji grabbed one of the bacons and followed Misato.

In less than 30 seconds, they were gone and Shinji sat alone finishing his food. He looked around at the disaster that was Misato's attempt at a birthday present. Dishes and bowls dirtied. Pans stacked and coated with grease. A cloud of smoke still hanging in the air. The smell of charcoal and bacon filled his nose and stung his throat. He looked down at his plate again and dug into the meal.

"Happy birthday," he thought.


The library was full. Kensuke carried a drink in one hand and his computer science textbook in the other. It was Tuesday, and he was back again. It had only been a few months now, but it seemed like his second home. The course load for an engineering degree was daunting, and he still remembered the first day of class. His professor had everyone look at the person beside them.

"That person won't make it through the next four years in this program and of the rest, two in five of you will change majors after the first year. Keep that in mind."

Kensuke looked at the tables as he searched for a seat. "Guess it's the carrels again," he decided. To be honest, he knew it was probably for the best. Even though the work came easy to him, being focused on his own was going to be more productive.

Walking through the rows of identical desks, Kensuke spotted a familiar head, leaning against the inside of his carrel.

"Hey Shinman," he whispered.

He watched as the head slowly moved and turned towards him. It was obvious Shinji had been asleep or at least, hiding. There weren't any books or papers on the desk.

"Oh, hey," Shinji whispered back, rubbing his eyes.

"Did I wake you?" Kensuke grinned.

"Nah man, just been a crazy day is all. Needed to get away for a while."

As they were whispering, a girl passed behind Kensuke and noticed Shinji sitting there. She timidly whispered out, "Uhmm, hi, happy birthday and thank you." She smiled.

Shinji smiled back, nodded and said thank you.

Kensuke watched his friend's face change from bright to worn in less than a second.

"I know they mean well but," Shinji started. His head leaned back against the wall. "Plus I've got that stupid thing tonight. Just more of the same."

"Wanna ditch?" Kensuke grinned wide. "We could just play Missile Commander all night and order some pizza. Ya know, stay up all night, buzzin' on caffeine and junk food."

"Of course I wanna ditch, but with my luck, the only pizza we could get would be the Shinji Special with extra garlic," Shinji grinned back. "Seriously though, you know we both have to go tonight. Thanks though bub."

"Well, it will be a snorefest, but maybe we can do something after?" Kensuke offered.

"By the time everything's over, all I'll wanna do is go home and crash," Shinji sighed.


"I think this is the one, Mari," Asuka called out from the changing room.

"You said that an hour ago and we're still here," Mari called back.

"Yeah well, this time I mean it!"

"Whatever. Just get out here so I can see. We only have three hours til the party and I'm staaaaarving!"

"Hey," Asuka said, coming out of the changing room. "We can't all find the perfect outfit right away. Some of us aren't….. as confident as you. OK?"

Mari tried to think of something to say, but couldn't look away.

Asuka was wearing a red satin, long-sleeve shirt with white piping at the cuffs and a detailed line design on the yoke. She'd tied the tails off in a crop top style and her skirt was mid thigh, white with large black cowhide spots and a fringe at the hem. Short, red leather cowboy boots with intricate white stitching finished the ensemble.

"Whadda ya think?" Asuka asked excitedly.

"It looks great, but I do have one question," Mari replied.

Asuka gave her a weird look. "O…..K."

"You do know it's Shinji's birthday, right?"

"Of course I do!" Asuka smiled. "This," she motioned at her outfit, "is part of my gift to him. Plus it doesn't hurt that I look great in it too."

"Why are you acting like this anyway? You don't always have to be Asuka Langley Soryu Wunderkind Pilot of Eva Unit 02."

"Come on, you know this birthday party is another chance for Gendo to show us off to everyone. No one there wants to meet me. They want the cocky, funny, fierce redhead who's gonna kick their ass and save their life. Might as well show off for the birthday boy while I'm at it." Asuka winked.


Hikari pulled up her zipper without a fuss and straightened the shoulders of her outfit before she took a look in the mirror. Her cowgirl dress was a light denim dress with long sleeves and a layered skirt cut above the knee. The cuffs and front were adorned with bright, pearlized snap buttons and the pockets were outlined with stylized dark blue thread. A red neckerchief and a matching red snakeskin belt with silver hardware completed her outfit.

"Lookin' good," she smiled, swirling in front of the mirror.

Popping on her straw cowboy hat, Hikari ran her hand along the rim then headed downstairs.

"Kodama?! I'm getting ready to go out."

Silence.

"Must have gone to pick up Nozomi at the library," she thought. "Better get a move on, don't wanna be late."

She was pulling on one of her blue and white cowboy boots when the doorbell rang.

"Just a minute!"

Pushing her foot down hard, she slid the first boot on and was reaching for the other when the doorbell rang again. With a boot in one hand, she opened the front door.

"Can I help….." She stopped and stared at the young woman on the other side.

"Hello Horaki."

Hikari continued to stare for another minute before it finally dawned on her.

"Rei?"

The boot dropped to the floor with a loud "clack" and tipped over.

Hikari stood there in one sock foot and one boot, still holding the door knob.

"May I come in?"

"Uh, oh, of course!" She moved aside to make way.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I know you're on your way to Shinji's birthday party, but there's something I need to say." Rei looked her straight in the eye.

"O... Ok, but where have you been?" Hikari wasn't sure what to expect.

"I've been… away," Rei answered honestly. "Things were getting out of control and I needed help to get back on track. That's why I came to see you."

Hikari could tell Rei was serious but also anxious. She watched her newest friend start to nervously fidget.

"Do you wanna sit down for a minute? Maybe have something to drink?" Her nurturing instincts were taking over.

"I know you have to go soon and I…." Rei started.

"It's OK, really. Don't you worry about that." She led Rei to the couch and they both relaxed for a moment.

After a minute or so, Rei let out a big sigh. She looked at Hikari and started talking.

"I want to apologize to you Hikari." She hesitated. "Back when you and Toji were broken up, I…. dated him." She looked down and paused. "And that night he called you about getting back together, I was there in his room." She kept going, her voice getting softer. "And I tried to convince him to stay with me. I sat in his lap. I tried kissing him and blowing in his ear. All while he was trying to talk with you. I didn't know anything else to do. I'd never dated anyone before and I didn't want to go back to being lonely."

Rei looked up, staring at Hikari, waiting for her reaction. She could feel her heart pounding as the seconds passed. Her face was hot and red with embarrassment. A growing sense of panic welled up as she waited, until…

"I know," Hikari answered, looking down and then back at Rei. "Toji told me everything when he came over later that night. We both agreed to be completely honest, so when he told me about you two I knew he really wanted us to work." She reached out and took Rei's hand.

"My sponsor told me to try to avoid being emotional when I make amends," Rei's voice was wavering, "but I can't. I was so selfish and I hurt both of you. I hope you can forgive me."

Hikari took her in a hug. "I do," she said softly. "Part of accepting and dealing with Toji's death was realizing it wasn't all about me. Other people were in pain. Sure, everyone was there for me, but you kept it all to yourself. You never let it show, but you must have been hurting inside." She pulled back from their hug. "I'm sorry you had to go through that alone."

"I didn't think it was supposed to go like this." Rei smiled meekly. "Thank you Hikari. I promise to be a better friend and always be honest about my feelings."

"And I'll do the same, Rei." Hikari smiled and hugged the blue-haired girl again.

"Hikari, there's someone else I have to talk with about Toji. Someone I have to make amends to. Is it OK with you if I talk with them about me and Toji?"


Shinji felt ill. Getting dressed had never been such a sickening experience. Even piloting Unit 01 hadn't been this bad on his stomach.

His phone rang and he knew exactly who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Pilot Ikari? We'll be arriving shortly."

"Understood, thank you." Shinji pocketed his phone and grabbed his hat. Not even looking at himself in the mirror, Shinji headed out and slammed the door behind him. The sound of jingling spurs followed him.