I don't know where to start. A few years later and I swear to God, I'm trying to get back to my stories, this one in particular. At first it was senior year eating up too much time, but then grandmama died and I went into a funk for a long while. I couldn't muster up the courage or energy to get back to doing anything at all for a good year or so. When I started recovering, I met this really cool (at the time) guy and somehow managed to find time to manage both school life and my new relationship for about a year. I lost any interest i had in getting back to my fanfiction accounts. We were going strong for close to two years and considering how it was my first relationship, I got all my priorities wrong, being a total twat to my parents. It ended badly a few weeks back and I've been trying to find myself again.

It's been a while since I've written anything so I'm guessing my writing style might be a tad bit different. Hopefully not too much to be a huge difference. I didn't want to rewrite this all even though I probably should with how much I've changed, but mostly I just want to get back to doing something I used to enjoy, even with this pandemic. I hope this chapter makes a lot of people happy.


Disclaimer: Yeah, I still don't own this magnificent piece of Bayhem.


Chapter 17

...

The trip back to the college was...awkward.

Not the kind of awkward that was 'err-I'm-shy-and-can't-talk-cuz-I-don't-have-a-social-life', it was more of the 'oh-we-had-an-argument-but-everything-kinda-seems-okay-now-but-not-wait-are-you-still-mad-I-can't-tell-oh-no'.

Which was, you know, kind of what happened.

Sam was quiet when we pulled up to the parking lot for guests. Other than an almost flippant, "If they ask anything, its your car, not mine; you know freshmen aren't allowed cars here." He made a beeline for the office for receiving guests and got me a pass, then almost left me on his power walk back to his room. I had to jog behind him to catch up while fumbling for the clip to attach to my jacket.

I tried peeking at his face as we made record time walking to his dorm building. He looked...well, not mad anymore which was good. He didn't look good either. He just looked...

He looked tired.

I felt a pang of guilt at the slump of his shoulders and what seemed to be the heaviness of the world he carried on it. I had a quick flashback to what he said back at the car and lump in my throat felt like it grew in size.

I felt selfish.

It was stupid thinking my family wouldn't be affected. I realized I had been going through the motions almost as if I didn't have a family. But I had. Just because I already had a family as Nicky didn't mean I didn't have one as Carol. It was a slap to the face how I treated Judy and Ron, and even Sam sometimes, like they weren't family. Just really cool guys I slapped the title 'Mom' and 'Dad' and 'Brother' on, but not really treating them like they lived up to the name.

All I kept on thinking was that I had to live, I had to keep Sam alive, and I had to keep the Autobots alive.

In my life-changing revelation, I almost didn't realize that we had already arrived at Sam's room.

"I'm skipping my morning class because I know we still have something to talk about." was Sam's first words moments after he closed the door.

I sat heavily on the bed that I assumed belonged to Sam (it was in the side of the room that wasn't about to be swallowed alive by the sheer amount of posters on the walls) and tried not to show my apprehensiveness. I carefully dropped my bag behind me and inwardly thanked Bee that he didn't forget to bring my stuff with me when we left the base.

Sam starts pacing in front of me and I watch him silently, waiting for him. I could guess that he was about an inch away from spazzing, judging from his fidgeting hands and slightly sweaty forehead. The furrowed brows kind of give it away too.

The quiet was starting to make me antsy and with the recent revelations I've just had, I figured maybe I should start.

"Look, Sam—"

"Carol—"

We both paused and looked at each other before both backing down. There was a tentative moment where we just looked at each other before we both opened our mouths again at the same time.

"You go first Sam."

"Ah, no, go ahead—"

"No, no, it's okay—"

"—I figure you got something say—"

"—what you're saying should be more important—"

"—but I guess I should know your thoughts at least—"

"—you go on ahead, I swear it's okay—"

"—I guess, I mean—"

I threw my hands up in the air in sudden exasperation, making Sam pause. "Okay okay, one at a time. You go first Sam."

"Okay, okay." Sam slows down his pacing and takes a deep breath before suddenly facing me. "Okay first of all, I'm sorry for snapping, back on the road. I thought about what you said and I get it, I do, but you know I had a point with the stuff I said as well." Sam raised his hand when I opened my mouth. "—wait! Wait. Let me finish." He takes another deep breath before looking at me resolutely. "I get what you said too. Okay? I get it. I can also even see where you're coming from. Just from the stuff Bee and I talked about..." He falters before pursing his lips. "They're a dying race. They need our help. It just so happens that I'm at the best position to do that."

He pauses again for a breath as my mind parses through his words.

"I hear your words, but you gotta hear mine too. So here's what we'll do. We'll compromise okay?" Sam nods decisively, as if making a point.

"Compromise?" My brows shoot up in surprise as I look up at him.

"Yeah compromise. I'll call back Optimus, see if I can—negotiate or talk or do something worthwhile for them. But—" He stops me again right as I open my mouth to interject. "—I'll make a deal with you Carol."

A sense of foreboding settles in my gut as I watch him sit beside me. "What's it?"

Sam looks so serious, it's a little scary. "I'll help the Autobots if you stay on the sidelines as much as you can."

I—what? "What?" I echo my thought out loud.

Sam's brow lowers a bit more and he holds my left hand in his right. He doesn't look at me as he speaks. "If I'm doing this, I don't want anyone else—mom or dad or you, heck, even Mojo and maybe Mikaela—to get involved any more than you have to." He takes a deep breath as he stares at our connected hands. "I just—I'm willing to fight for them. Okay? But...i don't ever want to see you like that again." His gaze becomes unfocused, as if remembering something. "On Mission City—you almost died. I don't—I just—I don't want you to face that ever again. Almost dying, for something you shouldn't have even been in, especially being so young still."

He looks down and his voice tapers off into a whisper. "I just want you safe."

When he looks back up, he visibly does a double take when he takes in my tear-soaked face.

Sam was—is my brother now. My family. The things he said...I understand. I do, honestly. And now i feel really bad pushing for this, knowing that the hardships are still just about to happen and knowing just how much he cared...

"I—Sam." I try my best to push down the giant lump of emotion stuck in my throat. "I'm sorry too. For the argument. You know." I sniffle and end up having to close my eyes against the near overwhelming guilt I was feeling. "I just—i see the Autobots and I see that they just want a home. They were just so—lost, and I just wanted to help them." I cover my eyes and swallow everything down. "I'm sorry for pushing and for making you do this—"

"Hey hey." Sam pushes my hands out of the way and holds my head upright. "Look, it's okay, it's important, it's necessary and all that. It's okay." He pulls me close as I sniffle into his chest. "Besides, we'll still stick together and everything. I just—I want you to grow up a little bit before you try shouldering an entire alien war or something."

He pushes me back a bit and looks at me. "We'll be okay. We'll get through this. I'll protect you and when you're older, you'll protect me too—and Mojo and mom and dad and the Autobots as well, you know."

I snort a watery laugh. "If Mojo has the balls to pee on Ironhide, he probably doesn't need protecting."

Sam snorts as well and grins. "Eh you know. Little demon that he is, he'll probably kill himself peeing on a Decepticon or something."

We share a laugh and the air feels lightened up. We both feel relieved and feel better about everything.

I guess I'll agree with Sam. Transformers universe or no, this is my new life. My second chance. I can't waste it always focusing on the war and everything. I could see now that I overlooked so much possibilities in my bullheaded focus on this war. I didn't make as much friends, only every focused on what was coming. I skipped levels to keep up with Sam, to always be with him in the thick of things. I lost my second childhood, racking up skills I—eventually—didn't even all get to use.

Doesn't mean I won't help the Autobots or, you know. I guess I'll just try actually living in this life, rather than treating it as something like a video game with a limited storyline.

I look up at Sam and end up staring at wonder at the resolve I saw in his eyes. I'm glad I brought this change though. For Sam, and for the Autobots.

I draw back and wipe my face down. "So."

Sam draws back as well and leans back in bed. "So."

"What do we do now?" I ask tentatively.

Sam scratches his head and says, "Well I guess I should find a time to call Optimus or something—".

He gets cut off as the door suddenly opens, revealing Leo and Alice, with Leo leading the way, holding a box of pizza.

"Here we are—"Leo stops as he spots me and Sam sitting side by side on the bed. "Hey! Uhh, Sam." Leo eyes me up visibly and his brows go up. I ignore him in favor of the blonde behind him. "You, uh, didn't tell me you were gonna have a visitor." Leo shuffles back a bit, accidentally bumping back into Alice. "Uh, I'm so sorry I brought you into this Alice, you know what, let's just leave the two lovebirds on their lonesome and why don't we find a place—"

"Yo, ew man this is my sister—" Sam stands up in affront.

"What? Excuse me I'm Sam's sister not his girlfriend—"

"—you know, just you and me Alice, what do you say?" Leo barely finishes his question before he is pushed out rudely by Alice, the door closing behind him.

Alice turns to look at us slowly as we hear Leo rambling outside about getting to sit and watch. I stare at her and stand as well, staying cautious as I wear my bag behind me, just as Sam approaches her. "Hey um Alice? Okay uh I guess, this is my sister Carol and we're kind of busy here talking about stuff—".

Alice maneuvers so I get moved to her front and she smiles sweetly at me as I get pushed hard towards the door. "Carol is it? You don't mind if I borrow your brother for a bit don't you? I just need to talk to him for a bit."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa wait—" Sam gets cut off as he gets pushed back.

"Excuse me—" I barely have time to protest before I get kicked out the door as well, next to Leo. Leo blinks at me and turns to Alice, just in time to get the door slammed close in his face again.

"What the hell?" I shout at the door, pounding my fist on it, forgetting for a moment that it was a Pretender who has just locked itself inside the room with Sam, before I get an 'oh shit' moment.

I don't have time to do much else when I hear Leo start to ramble again, "—such a beautiful lady like yourself need?"

I look and see Mikaela trying to politely step around Leo. "Excuse me, I don't really—" She turns and sees me, her face lighting up in surprise. "Carol?"

Leo's eyes shift back and forth between us. "Wait you—you guys know each other?"

"This is Mikaela, Sam's girlfriend." I tell Leo quickly before pulling Mikaela close, "Sam is getting accosted really hard by this girl, I swear he's fending her off but she's getting persistent and Sam's near at his wit's end and she just locked the both of us out. I'll get the door open just wait a sec." I tell her quickly before pulling my visitor pass loose off my shirt.

"Excuse me but why would Alice even be interested in that nerd—" Leo cuts himself off as Mikaela crowds him and leans over him in her heels.

"Tell me more about this Alice." Mikaela demands and Leo shrinks, starting to ramble.

I huff and slide the pass in between the slit of the door where the door latch should be. I wiggle it around and try to move back the latch.

"Come on come on come on." I mutter as I wiggle the pass wildly. I can already hear Sam starting to get mad back inside the room. Something banged loud enough to draw Mikaela and Leo's attention and they crowd closer to me.

"We're coming Sam, just hold on a minute." Mikaela calls, though there's no response inside other than more banging. Other people walking by glance at the door and at me also drawn by the loud banging noises. Oh no oh no oh no, I have to hurry.

In just a few seconds, Sam starts screaming.

"What the fuck?" Leo asks no one in particular, right as I get the latch free with a cry of, "It's open! It's open!" Mikaela pushes past me and just about kicks the door down.

We're greeted to the sight of Sam on the floor and Alice on the bed hissing with her weird snake tongue thing. There's a pause where we watch Alice's tongue retract back before Sam starts screeching again. Leo yells behind us and Mikaela immediately throws the case at Alice as I dive for Sam on the floor.

"Run!" I shout and we all make a mad scramble back as the window breaks from Mikaela's thrown case. Sam slams the door on his way out and we make a mad dash down the corridor, ducking when we hear an explosion right behind us.

We're outside the building when we start to hear people screaming from where we came from. I try to concentrate on where we should go, gripping onto my backpack's straps and quickly turning to figure out the buildings.

"She's coming, she's coming!" Leo rambles and we all look back at the people pouring out. "Oh God, is this real?"

Sam tugs him to get him moving again. "She's an alien robot! You gotta move, man, you gotta move!"

"Just run!" Mikaela shouts ahead of them both and we're all off again running into what seems to be the library. We scramble down a small set of stairs before Sam leads us into a little alcove hidden behind a huge bookcase. Leo slams his back against the wall as Sam quickly looks out the window besides it. Mikaela and I crouch down to the edge of the bookcase, scanning the area and watching for the Pretender.

"Oh my God, I can't believe I almost had sex with her in my dream!" Leo hisses as he clings to Sam's pants while Sam looks out the window.

Mikaela lets out a disgusted sound and I roll my eyes as Sam, annoyed, tries to kick off the monkey clinging to his leg.

"Get off my leg Leo." hisses Sam and Leo moves back a bit, shaking and absolutely drenched in sweat.

Mikaela moves back behind me and closer to Sam as he crouches down with the rest of us. "What the hell was that Sam?" Mikaela whispers to him as she holds onto his arm.

"What the he—what do you mean, what the hell? Look I don't know either, she just started coming onto me and it was so creepy and wrong and I tried to get away but she had a iron grip and then she started kissing me—" Sam spazzes and Mikaela gets a dangerous look on her face.

"What?" she hisses and latches on harder to Sam. "What do you mean kissing—"

"It was like getting humped in the neck by a mountain ox! And it smelled like—like diesel!"

"Sam that's disgusting." Mikaela's face seemed as if it didn't know whether to be angry or disgusted. Meanwhile I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry.

Leo butts in with a terrified look on his face. "She violated your orifice with her nasty alien probe? She did it? All her little embryo alien babies are gestating and hatching inside of you. They're probably growing right now!" Sam starts looking nauseous and quickly shakes his head at Leo and Mikaela tries her best to cringe away from the two at the same time but was having difficulty since she was crouched in between them. "You need to vomit it right now Sam! Yak it! Yak it right now!"

I elbow Leo in the side and he hisses an "Ow!" right as Sam vomits away from Mikaela.

"Dude will you stop?" I near plead Leo as I keep watching for the Pretender while we wait for Sam to recover.

Mikaela rubs Sam's back soothingly as she shoots a disgusted look at Leo. "Who are you even?"

"I'm Leonardo Ponce de Leon Spitz, okay? I'm the key to this. The aliens, they want me because of my site." he hisses. He doesn't get to say much else as the door we just came from explodes out of nowhere. I duck and cough at the smoke as Leo grips my backpack behind me and pulls me down.

Mikaela yelps as the bookcase we were leaning back on wobbles dangerously and I scramble to my feet quickly. "We have to get down, hurry!"

Leo yells a "Right! Okay!" behind me as I quickly put my leg over the stone railing to the ladder right below me. Sam, meanwhile, the idiot that he is, instead of waiting immediately jumps on the hanging lights in his panic, causing him to fall hard onto the floor when the lights give out. I jump down from midway the ladder and pull him up to stand as Leo and Mikaela go quickly down the steps.

"Run!" I shout right as I hear the telltale hissing mechanical sound of the Pretender drop down behind us.

Sam pulls me under the table when we hear the sound of a charging cannon. "Get down!" He shouts at Leo and Mikaela and they dive into one of the nearby tables. There is an explosion of books behind us and we do our best to crawl away from the mess. I scrunch my face up and try not to sneeze at the dust while we try our best to get out quick. I worried for the electronics I stuffed in my bag and quickly get distracted by the hissing sounds of the Pretender. if my laptop doesn't survive this, I swear I'll have it reimbursed by the Autobots but honestly this is not the time to be thinking about that!

We duck again as the Pretender punches a hole in the wall right in front of us. Leo screams shrilly as Mikaela pulls Sam through the hole and I stumble through it right behind them. We're outside by the time I notice that Mikaela was running barefoot and carrying her heels in one hand.

"Mikaela!" I call to her and grab her shoes from her hand as we run. She looks surprised but nods when she sees me twisting and stuffing her heels in my bag. We're speeding and bumping into people as we reach the parking lot and Mikaela points at the box she had thrown at Alice. "One of you go get that box!"

I run quick and grab the surprisingly heavy box and lug it back to the car as it continues shaking. Faintly I hear a "Hey! Let me out!" as the it rattles. I jump into the backseat and squish it between me and Leo as Sam looks back at us and Mikaela starts hotwiring the car.

"Oh my God you know how to hotwire a car?" Leo says, surprised. "That's so hot."

I elbow him again and shoot him a dirty look and he cringes back. "Ow! What is your problem lady—"

"Drive drive drive! She's right there, she's right there!" Sam exclaims, clutching at the handle bar for dear life.

"We have to move!" I yell when Alice transforms into her Pretender form and jumps on the hood. Sam screams as the glass breaks on him and Mikaela ducks further into the seat. Leo screams shrilly again, clutching at the box and Sam screeches, "Tongue, tongue, tongue!" as Alice's tongue whip about inside the car.

Everything lurches suddenly as Mikaela gets the car working and the Pretender is thrown forward with only its tongue anchoring it to the car. Leo and I hit the front seats hard and Sam fumbles about with the tongue-whip thing, and that is still the most disgusting thing ever, right as Mikaela accelerates to the road and the Pretender rolls to the side of the hood.

Leo is still screaming right next to my ear—does the man have no lungs?!—before Mikaela spitefully says, "Kiss this, bitch." and crashes—hits on purpose?—the car into a pole, squishing and hopefully killing the thing. Leo finally stops screaming and we are all left panting and shaking in our seats.

"I'm gonna fucking die." Leo wheezes painfully besides me and I pat his shoulder in almost bewildered commiseration as we all take a quick breath.

"Right behind you man." I tell him weakly as I shift in my seat and ow what is that thing stabbing me in the back? Probably Mikaela's heels. I shift to a better position and look behind us at the chaos we left the school in in the distance.

"We have to move." I pat Mikaela's shoulder, trying not to think about what was coming next.

"Okay." Mikaela takes a deep breath, looks back at all of us and faces back to the front.

"Okay, let's go." We take off again.


No promises to when the next chapter is. I'm figuring out my groove again and thanks to the pandemic I now have online classes 5, sometimes 6, days a week. This chapter isn't much, but it's a start. I hope I can get back into writing again eventually. Thank you to everyone who favorited and followed and those who reviewed and sent PMs. I'll try to reply and get back to everyone I can, but it may be a little slow.