Chip
He was on his way from work to the hospital when his phone rang. He could see it was Taylor and he breathed in deeply before hitting the answer button. He smiled, even though she couldn't see him. "Hey there, Tay," he said.
"Hey, Dad. Are you in the car?"
"Yep. On my way to the hospital from work."
"Already? Don't you get paternity leave or something?"
"Somebody's gotta work around here. So no, no paternity leave."
There was a pause. "I talked to Nana and she said she's coming to Nashville soon. Does that mean the baby's coming home?"
The agreement he had with his mom and his sister was that they would come after Ryleigh came home, whenever that ended up being. Soon, hopefully. "We still don't know when yet," he said. "She's starting to gain some weight and she's getting better with her breathing, but she still needs the feeding tube, so that's probably the last hurdle."
"Why does she still need that?"
"Well, Connie wants to breastfeed, but Ryleigh still doesn't have the sucking thing down yet. And she'd need that for a bottle too, so we're waiting on that." He paused. One of the ones Connie actually took was of his hand flat on the bed next to Ryleigh. It had even surprised him how large his hand looked next to her. "Did you get the pictures I sent yesterday?"
"Yeah," Taylor said, softly. "She looks so teeny tiny."
He chuckled. "Well, she is. She's right at 4 pounds now. And we can put her in clothes now."
Taylor laughed. "I'm so glad she doesn't have to just rock the diaper anymore. But the clothes look too big on her too."
"They are. We really didn't have much for her yet and what we did have was for a bigger baby." That part still pulled up his emotions. She'd been in the NICU a week and a half and, although she was progressing well, it was just a reminder that she'd come so early.
"Can we come see her?"
That surprised him. "You want to come?"
"Yeah. I told Mom we wanted to and she said okay. But we weren't sure when would be good."
He felt tears in his eyes and wiped them away. "Maybe when Nana comes. She's thinking about renting an Airbnb, so I bet you could stay with her and Aunt Cathy." He hesitated. "So when you say we..."
"All of us, Dad. We all want to come."
He got off the elevator and walked down the hall to the NICU. He was let in and then headed for where Ryleigh was. Connie was holding her, rubbing her back. He smiled to himself. There weren't many times when he came that she wasn't holding their daughter. She looked up as he approached and smiled. "Hey there. You're a little early today," she said.
He grinned. "I was exceptionally perfect today."
She laughed, softly so as not to startle Ryleigh. "You're always perfect. It's everyone else around you who's not. So I'm glad you inspired them today."
He shook his head. "I'm not always perfect, unfortunately." He paused. "So Taylor called me when I was driving over here."
She raised her eyebrows as she slid forward in her chair and handed Ryleigh to him. He took the baby carefully, arranging her in his arms so that she was against his chest, being careful with the tubes and monitors that were left. "Good news I hope?"
He nodded. He felt a little choked up and covered it by pressing his lips to the top of Ryleigh's head. "They want to come see Ryleigh," he said. he looked up at her.
She clasped her hands to her chest. "Really? All three?" he nodded again. She leaned forward and put her hand on his knee. "Oh, Chip, that's so great."
The thought of his older kids coming to see the tiny little being he held against his chest was almost overwhelming. He could feel the dampness in his eyes as he smiled at Connie. "I don't want to hope for too much," he said.
"It's a start, babe," she said. "They're coming to see their baby sister. Maybe they're not going to be here for us, but I think Ryleigh can be a bridge. And Yoby too, for that matter. The littlest ones can sprinkle their magic dust and maybe bring them a little closer."
She looked so hopeful and he couldn't help but want to feel hopeful too.
Connie
She sat next to him on the couch, holding the script he'd received by courier. He had one arm loosely wrapped around her shoulders, leaning slightly forward to see the page she was focused on. He squinted, then reached for his glasses and slid them on, perching them across the bridge of his nose. She couldn't help biting down on her lip. He looked so sexy in his glasses that she almost felt like she could eat him up with a spoon. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
He glanced over at her and smiled. "You trying to distract me?" he asked playfully, taking the script out of her hands.
She shrugged. "Maybe. Or not. I just had this overwhelming feeling of" – she rubbed his leg – "contentment, I guess." She smiled. "I mean, here we are, at home. Our little girl will be able to come home pretty soon and I guess, I don't know." She clasped her hands at her chest. "I have these dreams of letting her lay in bed between us, while we just admire her and think about how lucky we are and talk some more about our dreams for her." She suddenly felt a little weepy. "I've been wanting to do that ever since she was born. I think that's when I'll feel like a real mama to her."
He frowned a little. "Sweetie, you're a real mama to her now. You spend all day long with her, holding her and talking to her and loving her."
"I know. But I want her here, all the time. I don't want to have to get up and get dressed and drive over to the hospital to see her. I want to stand next to her crib here and just watch her sleep. Or hold her in my arms here and feed her. Or dress her up in one of those cute little outfits I got at the shower." Her friends had thrown her a post-birth baby shower and she'd been overwhelmed with all the sweet, pretty little girl outfits that Ryleigh was still too small for. She grabbed his arm and leaned in a little closer. "I just can't wait for her to come home."
He looked deep in her eyes, then reached out and brushed a strand of hair back off her face. Then he slipped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Then he pulled back a little and smiled. "She doesn't even know yet how lucky she is," he said.
She laughed, then let one finger trail from his ear down to his jaw. "She's lucky she has such a handsome, amazing dad, who's going to spoil her so much."
He raised his eyebrows and grinned. "I absolutely am," he said, a teasing note to his voice. "But you know you are too." He pressed his lips to hers, still smiling. Then he pulled her closer, tugging at her lip. Her lips parted and he ran his tongue over her lower lip, feeling her warm breath against his skin. He closed his mouth over hers, letting his tongue tangle with hers, enjoying how she seemed to pull him in. "I miss...," he said against her mouth.
"I know," she whispered. "I do too." She missed the intimacy. Not that they didn't still have that on many levels, but she missed the intimacy that truly allowed them to be part of each other. She sat back and sighed. "I feel like, until she's here with us, that we're just in a holding pattern, you know?"
He sat back, putting his arm around her and pulling her in close. "I do know," he said. He turned his head and kissed the side of her face.
It hung over them, the incompleteness. She supposed it was like this for every parent who didn't bring their baby home right away. One of the other moms she'd met in the NICU had been waiting 2 ½ months. Her baby was what they called a micro-preemie. He'd been born at 26 weeks and was just a couple of weeks ahead of Ryleigh now. He was one of the lucky ones – as scary as it had been for his parents in the beginning, he was getting stronger every day, and it helped to see him thriving. It also made her feel humbled, because Ryleigh was likely to be able to come home in a week or so. It still felt like the days were dragging by.
Sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night, thinking she heard Ryleigh crying. Chip would murmur something incoherent and wrap his arm around her a little tighter and doze back off, while she would lay there for a long time with her eyes wide open, feeling her racing heart start to slow and her breathing get back to normal.
This was another of those nights, when she thought she heard the thin little cry Ryleigh made, that sounded as tiny as she was. She pushed herself up, breathing in sharply, her heart beating so hard she couldn't hear anything else. She felt Chip's hand on her hip and she breathed out.
"It's okay, baby," he murmured, his voice thick with sleep. He let his hand move to her arm and his fingers gently wrapped around her arm as he pulled her back against him. She resisted for a second, then let herself relax as she laid back down on the bed, feeling his chest against her back. He kissed the back of her neck. "It's okay," he said again.
She felt tears in her eyes and then felt them roll silently down her face. "I miss her, Chip," she said quietly.
He rubbed her arm. "I know. She'll be home soon though." He kissed her shoulder. "Go back to sleep, baby." He sounded like he was dozing off again and she brushed the tears away with her fingers. He was right. She'd be home soon. It just wasn't soon enough. She sighed and then felt his arm reach around and circle her waist, holding her protectively. She forced herself to close her eyes, listening to his slow, even breathing and feeling the heat of his skin against hers. He wasn't worried and she knew she shouldn't be either. She breathed out slowly as she let herself be embraced by sleep.
Chip
Filming was moving a little more quickly without Connie's scenes. He tried to avoid Dee when he could, but Callie had also asked about Connie's plans as well just two days earlier. He didn't want to be asked, wanting it to be Connie's choice of what she decided and when she decided to do it. As long as Ryleigh was still in the hospital, she wasn't thinking about work, so he just tried to discourage anyone reaching out to her, at least about when she planned to return. So when Clare asked, as they waited to be called to the set, he had looked at her angrily, feeling the tension in his body.
"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes open wide and almost cringing. "I didn't know it was a sensitive topic."
He breathed in, closing his eyes for a second, then breathed out and looked back at her. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just, I don't know, irritated that Dee and Callie seem to want her to come back before she's ready."
Clare eyed him carefully. "Baby's still in the hospital, right?" He nodded solemnly. "I promise I'm not pushing for her to have to come back. I was just wondering."
He shook his head. "I'm really sorry, Clare." He sighed. "Truth is, I don't know that she's really thought about it much. I understand why they want to know, but she wants some time to just be a mama."
"I get it. I probably would too. It's gotta be hard for her right now, with your little girl still in the hospital." She gave him a shy smile then. "How's she doing, by the way?"
He smiled, happy to talk about his daughter. "She's doing really well. Her breathing's improved, she's gaining weight. Everything she needs to do to come home, she's doing. Except breastfeeding. And they want her to do that before they'll send her home."
Clare was silent for a minute, then she glanced back at him. "You two doing okay? You and Connie?"
He nodded, not exactly sure what she meant. "It's hard for both of us to see Ryleigh there and not be able to bring her home."
She shook her head and smiled. "No, I mean the two of you. Everything still going okay?"
He smiled. "Yeah, it is. Being able to do this together has been amazing."
"You know, I wasn't surprised when we found out the two of you were together. There was always something going on between you two and it wasn't hard to figure out what that something was." She laughed. "But it was kinda fun to watch you try to act all 'we're just friends' every day."
Clare was the second person to say that to him and it made him wonder just how obvious he and Connie were. "But we were friends," he protested, a little halfheartedly.
She shrugged. "It's okay. I'm sure that's what it was at first. But damn, the two of you had as much chemistry as your characters so it's really no wonder." She sat forward, her hands on her knees. "I'm just glad you made it work. It's not always so easy to do that."
Just then they were called to the set. As he walked over behind Clare, he knew she was comparing it to her situation with Sam. The two of them had had a similar kind of situation. The characters had chemistry and they had also had chemistry offscreen. The difference was that the two of them had not been able to make it last and it had ended hard and painfully. He wanted to think that he and Connie wouldn't have done the same, at some point, but they hadn't had to test it. Connie had gotten unexpectedly pregnant and it had allowed him to be where he'd wanted to be all along.
When he walked into the NICU, he saw the screen up around Ryleigh's crib. He felt some anxiety and frowned, wondering what was going on. He'd had no texts or calls from Connie, and he was sure she'd reach out if something was wrong, so he walked quickly and rounded the screen. Connie was in the chair, a shawl over her shoulder as she was looking down. He realized she had Ryleigh in her arms and that's when she looked up. Her face looked like it was glowing, her eyes sparkling and a smile on her face. "She's nursing, Chip," she said, her voice filled with joy. "Just now."
He swallowed over the lump in his throat. "She is?" Connie nodded and lifted the shawl so he could see. He felt the tears in his eyes and then he smiled, thinking it was the most beautiful sight he'd seen in a very long time. He took a couple steps towards her and, balancing with his hands on the arms of the chair, he leaned in and kissed her. "So does this mean we can take her home?" he asked.
"The nurse said we should talk to the doctor, but she thinks it could be in just a couple days."
He pulled the other chair closer to her and sat down. "How does it feel?" he asked, a happy smile crossing his face.
She made a little bit of a face. "It's not like I thought it would be, for sure. But I do feel so connected to her now, in a different way than just holding her." She smiled then and he saw the hint of tears in her eyes. "I feel like a mom now. Her mom," she said softly. "This wasn't something I got to do with Yoby, but I understand now why it's such a bonding thing." She looked down at the baby then and lifted her up onto her shoulder, gently rubbing her back. She looked back at him. "We'll be complete now. She'll be home with us. Where she belongs."
Connie
She was standing in the middle of the nursery. Everything had arrived and she pointed to where she wanted him to put everything. Then she looked around the room, trying to decide if it looked right. "Can you move the chair over there?" she asked him, pointing to the opposite corner, near the window.
"Anywhere you want," he said and when he got it moved over where she wanted, she was satisfied.
She picked up a small pink blanket that felt as soft as velvet but was still lightweight enough for summer and placed it on the rail of the crib. Then she arranged a couple of white pillows embroidered with pink and blue flowers, given to her by her friend Ruthie. And finally she added a more substantial white blanket, edged with pink satin, to the chair, draping it over the back and arm. She stepped back to check if it was right.
"That looks perfect," she said. "I like having the sunlight coming through and streaming over the chair." She looked around again. Ryleigh would be coming home the next day and she and Chip had been working hard trying to get everything organized and put together. She had hung up and put away all the tiny clothes. She'd put bedding on the crib. She frowned as she looked at it.
"Please don't ask me to move that," he said and she looked over at him.
She smiled, then pointed. "No, I was just thinking that I want that bassinet in our bedroom." She looked at him hopefully. "Do you mind? Just at first. I want her close to us."
He walked over and put his arms around her, pulling her in close. "I was thinking the same thing," he said. he kissed her and she felt a warmth rush through her. When she thought about the fact that they had done this together, she felt happy. They had gone through a lot together in the year they'd known each other, but this had been what had really pulled them together. Ryleigh was the glue. He tugged on her lip and she opened her mouth to his, letting herself relax into the kiss. When he finally let her go, he smiled. "I love you," he murmured.
She smiled. "I love you too."
He stepped back and went over to the bassinet. "Show me where you want it," he said.
Chip had taken Yoby with him to pick up take out. She took the opportunity to call Carla. "Hey, girlfriend," she said when Carla picked up.
"Hey! Are you ready to bring that baby home?" Carla practically squealed and she had to laugh.
"Yes, I am," she said. "Chip and I spent all afternoon getting the nursery set up just the way we wanted. And then I had him move the bassinet into our room."
"He didn't mind, though, did he?"
"No, he thought it was a good idea." She sighed. "She's still so tiny. I don't want her down the hall from me. I mean, from us."
"Connie, you're the mama. It's okay to say 'me'."
She shook her head. "I try not to though. I guess I was saying that a lot and he was really hurt, thinking that I didn't see her as ours." She smiled then. "But he's so good with her. I swear she actually fits completely in his hands. And I love watching him hold her. it almost made me want another one."
"Seriously?"
She laughed. "Well, seriously for about a minute. I really did love being pregnant, Carla, but I don't think I want to go through that again. And I really do think I'm too old now. I told Chip there could be no slip ups from now on."
Carla laughed gaily. "Are you two still like rabbits?"
She felt her skin get warm. "Carla!" she said.
"Sweetie, it's nothing you haven't already told me. You can't look at him without wanting to tear his clothes off and didn't you tell me he's always up for that? In a manner of speaking?"
It felt like her face was on fire. "Stop."
Carla laughed again. "Oh, good grief. You try to act like you're some dainty soul and you just want to fuck him every chance you get. This must be killing you to wait. Him too, I would imagine. You really sure you want your daughter in the room with you? It could cramp your style."
She smirked. "I think we'll be fine. And it's not like we're going to keep her in there until she leaves for college. But I do love him. And I love that part of our life, so that's true."
"Well, it's a fact that he adores you. He can never take his eyes off of you. And you, missy, can't keep your hands off him, like you want everyone to know he belongs to you." She paused. "It's sweet. You know I'm really glad you have all that you have in your life right now."
"I'm glad too." She heard the back door open. "Okay, so Yoby and Chip are back with dinner, so I need to run."
"I'm so happy Ryleigh's coming home, babe. Enjoy her."
She turned as Chip walked in and he held up the food. She put her phone down and smiled. "Thai?"
He nodded. "Your favorite."
She got up and walked around the sofa. When she was standing in front of him, she put her hand on his chest and lifted her face to kiss him. "Thanks, babe. You're the best."
She sat on the bed with her knees drawn up slightly, watching Chip as he massaged her feet and ankles with lotion. "Are you nervous at all about having a newborn in the house?" she asked.
He looked at her and shook his head. "Nah, not really. It's been a while since I've done that, but I'm not nervous." He looked at her a second. "Are you?"
She shrugged. "A little. I mean, I know everything is good now. She's breathing fine, her body temp is good, she's finally breastfeeding and gaining weight. But she's still so little."
He smiled. "All babies are little, Connie."
She made a face. "I know, but you know what I mean. Really little. I don't want to hurt her."
"You're not gonna hurt her, baby. You're just gonna love her."
"Well..." He stopped what he was doing, tossing the lotion aside. Then he moved up on the bed to sit next to her, putting his arm around her and kissing her forehead.
"You aren't gonna break her, baby. You're gonna get to do all the things you've been wanting to. Like bathing her and dressing her up and feeding her and holding her. Putting her to bed at night. You'll be able to walk around with her, all you want."
She smiled up at him, then leaned her head against his shoulder. "I'm excited and a little nervous. Yoby was so much older, so I have nothing to compare it to. But you're right. She'll be here, with us, and we can start to be that family we wanted."
He kissed her again. "That's right. So I think we should get some sleep so we're ready for the big day tomorrow."
She smiled at him and then they both slid under the covers. He put his arm around her and she turned on her side, nestled into him, her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. He turned out his light and settled in. It wasn't long before she heard, and felt, his even breathing. But she lay there, wide awake, for some time before she finally drifted off herself. It would be a big day for them and she couldn't wait.
Chip
When he woke up, he was alone in bed. He got up and headed for the stairs. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught movement in the nursery, and he stopped. He went to stand in the doorway and saw that there were several items of clothing laying on the chair and the dresser. "Connie?" he called out.
She stepped out of the closet. She smiled when she saw him. "Hey, babe. I'm trying to pick out Ryleigh's coming home outfit," she said.
"She really needs one?"
She shrugged. "Well, I don't know if she needs one, but I want her to have one. Something to mark the day." She beckoned him with her index finger. "Come here." He walked over to chair, where she was headed. She had something in her hand, but she pointed at the chair. "So she could wear a onesie or maybe a little dress." She laid the dress she had her hand over the back of the chair, then waved her hand across everything. "What do you think?"
He looked at what she had. "I think a dress would be too much," he said. "And probably too big."
She smiled a little sadly. "You're probably right. So a onesie then?"
He didn't remember hearing the term 'onesie' before, but it looked shapeless. He grimaced a little and shook his head. "I don't know. Don't you have something with legs?"
She raised her finger. "You're right. I have the perfect thing." She went over to the dresser and finally pulled something out. She held it up to her chest and turned to face him, a smile on her face. It was like tiny baby pajamas. There were tiny pink pajama pants, but the top had written across it in pink cursive letters 'Daddy's Little Girl'.
He felt a lump in his throat. He just nodded. Satisfied, she folded them and laid them on the chair arm, then picked up everything else and put it away.
As they drove to the hospital, he would glance over from time to time. Her hands and fingers couldn't stay still. She was smoothing out the tiny clothes in her lap or picking at hems and borders. At the last minute she'd brought a light blanket and it was folded and nestled underneath the pajamas. They had put the car seat in the back of his car, hoping they had done it properly. A nurse would check it though before they left with Ryleigh, to be sure it was installed correctly. She had dressed carefully, wearing a sleeveless button-down blouse and shorts. She had pulled her hair back into a loose bun, wispy tendrils of her hair loose around her face. Even without makeup, she looked young and fresh, a glow about her.
She'd been mostly quiet on the ride. Then just before they got to the hospital, she turned towards him. "I can't believe we're finally getting to pick her up and bring her home. I just wish I could hold her the whole way home."
He smiled. "Do you want to sit in the back seat on the way home? So you can sit next to her?"
She frowned just a little as she thought. "I don't know. I feel like I'd be abandoning you. Plus it's not like I can hold her just because I'm back there."
"It's okay if you want to," he said.
"I don't know. I guess I'll decide once we get back to the car with her." She reached over and put her hand on his thigh. "I hope we don't disappoint her."
He looked at her and then laughed. "Connie, we've both successfully been parents. I think we'll be okay."
She smiled a little apologetically. "I know," she said, then paused. "it's just that this one is ours." He wasn't sure what to say to that, so he focused on the road and took a deep breath, holding in his emotions.
Connie
She didn't know why she felt so nervous. Chip was right – they had already negotiated parenthood, although she hadn't done it nearly as long as he had. This would be the only baby she'd carried inside her, though. The only baby she gave birth to, who was her flesh and blood together with the flesh and blood of the man holding her hand tightly as they headed up the elevator. She clasped the blanket and pajamas she'd brought to take Ryleigh home in, close to her heart. She looked up at Chip and he glanced back at her and smiled. She leaned her face against his upper arm and closed her eyes.
She hadn't told him that her dreams had been filled with moments where she forgot where she'd left Ryleigh or where she left her in the car or where she'd even forgotten she had a baby. That last one had been the one to wake her up early that morning and propelled her to the nursery. She had filled the time with smelling baby clothes and blankets, although there was no baby smell permeating them yet. She'd smoothed them out, folded and refolded tiny pajamas and onesies and dresses, blankets and wash cloths and towels. She'd taken books out of the closet and placed them on the table by the chair. She'd laid a little comb and hairbrush on the dresser, even though Ryleigh didn't even really have hair yet. She leaned in and smelled the fragrance of the vase of flowers she'd also put on the table by the chair, flowers sent by Chip's mom and sister to welcome their daughter home. Miniature pink roses and snow white baby's breath. She had said she wasn't a fan of the traditional pink for girls and blue for boys, but she'd found herself gravitating towards pink anyway when picking out things for her baby.
The elevator stopped and she breathed in deeply as she let Chip lead her off. They walked down to the NICU and then he turned to her. "Are you excited?" he asked, with a smile.
She smiled back. "So excited."
He nodded. "Me too." He brushed her lips with his. "Let's go bring our girl home."
When they had walked into the NICU and over to Ryleigh, she started to cry. But they were happy tears, as she looked down at her daughter. She'd changed so much in the just over 3 weeks since she'd been born. She looked healthy and her eyes looked clear as she had bent over Ryleigh. Her little arms and legs were moving and she made little smacking noises with her mouth. She'd dressed her in the little pajamas that were, of course, too big. She rolled up the sleeves to her wrists and the pajama legs to her ankles. She picked her up and loosely wrapped the blanket around her before settling her in her arms.
As she always did, when Chip bent over her and rubbed her hand, she grasped his finger. "You wanna go home with your mama and daddy?" he asked softly and she waved her arms, seeming to say 'yes'. He kissed Ryleigh on her forehead and then he turned to look at her. "You ready?" he asked.
She nodded, feeling the tears again. "Yes," she whispered. He kissed her gently on the mouth, his arm around her waist. Then he kissed her again.
One of the nurses went out with them and waited with her while Chip went to get the car. When he pulled around, the nurse checked out the car seat and, with a slight adjustment, pronounced them ready to go. Chip took Ryleigh from her and put her in the car seat, making sure she was firmly strapped in. He looked at her. "Why don't you get in on the other side," he suggested.
"I don't think I'm going to sit back here after all," she said, shaking her head.
"I want to get a picture of the two of you."
"Oh, okay," she said. She hurried around to the other side of the car, getting in and sliding across the seat. Chip directed her to get her face down near Ryleigh's and to take her hand. She pushed the blanket back so that the 'Daddy's Little Girl' inscription was unobstructed. She grasped Ryleigh's hand and leaned in close while Chip took a couple shots. She then walked back around to the passenger side and got in the car, while Chip got in the driver's seat. They smiled at each other and then he started the ignition and they headed home.
Chip
The baby was quiet the whole way home. He and Connie had talked quietly about their plans once they got home. He thought she seemed a little nervous. She was twisting her hands in her lap and so he reached over and covered them with his. She looked at him. "It's gonna be okay, baby," he said.
She breathed in deeply. "What if she won't nurse when she gets home? Or she starts to lose weight again? Or...?"
He squeezed her hands. "It's all gonna be fine," he said, trying to reassure her. "They wouldn't have let her leave if they weren't sure she'd be okay. Remember, the doctor said she'd probably sleep a lot, but that she really will be better at home. With us." He had persuaded her to let Yoby stay with friends the first night and then those friends had suggested he stay another night or two, just to let them get Ryleigh settled in and start a routine. He'd been surprised when she agreed.
She nodded. "I know. You're right." She smiled then. "I'm so glad she's coming home. I've hated that she was at the hospital all this time. It was just so unsettling." She slid one hand from under his and put it on top, then squeezed gently. "And I have you." She smiled at him.
When they pulled into the driveway, he got out and got everything they'd brought from the hospital. The nurse had given them preemie diapers and he made sure to bring those. Connie got out on her side and opened the door to get Ryleigh. He watched as she leaned in and unbuckled Ryleigh, lifting her up and holding her against her chest. She kept the blanket over her as she kissed Ryleigh gently on the top of her head. Then she made a little noise and looked at him.
He frowned. "What?"
She bit her lip and then laughed a little. "I've really got to feed her now," she said.
He was confused. "You do?"
She nodded. "Mm hm. I need to get inside before I just open my shirt right here on the driveway." She scurried up the walk and the steps to the front porch. He followed behind and unlocked the door, letting her in. He went back out to the car to bring the rest of Ryleigh's things in. When he got back, Connie was sitting on the couch, her blouse unbuttoned and her bra unhooked. She had a look of bliss on her face as she held Ryleigh against her as the baby sucked on her nipple.
He felt a roughness in his throat as he watched. It had always been such a beautifully intimate thing. Watching made him feel both humbled and a little envious. It was something he'd never been able to do for his kids and now for Ryleigh. He could feed her with a bottle, but it wasn't the same. There was a bond that got built that he would have to build in a different way. He walked up behind her and leaned over, kissing Connie on her forehead. She looked up at him and smiled, then turned her attention back to Ryleigh. He leaned down farther. "I love you," he whispered.
She leaned back against the couch. "I love you." She looked up at him. "I'm so happy." He walked around the couch and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders and watched Connie and their daughter.
Our daughter. He sometimes, still, wanted to pinch himself. That he was with Connie at all felt like he'd died and gone to heaven. He did still have some regret about how things had gone down. Not that they had, but that it had been so painful for his kids. And painful for Patty too. He had to own that, and it was not the way he would have wanted it to happen. He looked at Ryleigh again. She had been the one who had put Connie and him on a faster path than they might have otherwise taken. He liked to believe they would still have ended up together. Was sure of it, actually. But having Ryleigh had set them on this journey much more quickly. And he hadn't regretted it, not even once. He felt a sense of peace he hadn't felt in a long time.
Just then Connie turned to him and handed him the burp towel that had been draped over her shoulder. "Would you like to do the honors?" she asked.
He put the towel on his shoulder and took Ryleigh when she handed her off. He still wasn't used to the fact that Ryleigh's bottom fit neatly in the palm of his hand. He laid her against his shoulder putting his hand on her back.
Connie smiled. "You want me to show you what to do?" she asked.
He smirked. "I have done this before, you know."
"Yeah, I guess you have." She sat back against the arm of the couch, her arms crossed over her chest. "I love watching you with her," she murmured. She slid her bare foot across the couch and tapped at his leg. "You don't have to be envious, you know."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I know you watch when I feed her and feel left out."
He frowned. "I don't feel left out."
She shrugged and smiled. "I think you feel like it's something she only shares with me and that you won't get a similar chance. But she's going to love you so much. She's going to be a daddy's girl, so I think that makes up for it. I get something with her, for a while, but you'll have that her whole life."
He started to argue the point, but then thought about it. Maybe she was right. Taylor and Addie had always had a special relationship with him and he missed it. To think he would possibly have that with Ryleigh made him smile. This life with Connie had proven to be so much more than he could have ever dreamed of.
Connie
She really loved watching Ryleigh with Chip. She knew without a doubt that their daughter was going to have him wrapped around her little finger. And he would love every minute of it. Although people told her that babies – newborns – didn't always favor one parent or another, she was certain she saw more Chip in Ryleigh than herself. And that made her happy. She smiled to herself as she watched him rub Ryleigh's back, as he pressed his cheek against the top of her head.
She had wondered for a long time if she'd find a man she would love, who would look inside her and see her soul. Her first marriage was so long ago and she had forgotten really what it was that had made her think, at such a young age, that she was ready for that type of commitment. So when they had divorced, she really hadn't looked back. She had thought it might happen in her thirties, and she had dated a lot of wonderful men, some of whom grew into relationships, but in the end it wasn't the right match. She didn't see herself growing old with any of them. And then Chip had walked in the door for the table read. She had gravitated mostly to younger men, but he was her age. They'd grown up during the same time period, understood things about each other she had not with the other men she'd dated. He was solid. He was someone she could see growing old with.
But he was married. That part of it had been tough. It still lurked at the corners of her mind, that her happiness was at the expense of someone else's. Even though he'd always maintained that it wasn't a satisfactory marriage, she would wonder. And when she discovered she was pregnant, she wouldn't have been surprised if he'd turned tail and run. Disappointed, devastated, but not surprised. But he hadn't. He'd turned away from that other life, at great expense, and focused on her. Together they had made the sweet angel he held in his hands.
She felt herself get a little teary. He looked over at her then and she smiled. "You okay?" he asked, a concerned look on his face. It was one of the reasons she loved him so much. He always noticed things about her, seemed to sense her moods, and stood steadfastly next to her.
"I'm great," she said. "It's just so sweet looking at the two of you." Just then Ryleigh let out a soft burp and they both laughed. "At least it's not one of those big, boisterous, loud ones Yoby likes to do."
He grinned as he adjusted Ryleigh in his arms. "Let's hope she doesn't learn it. That was pretty nice and ladylike." He looked down at her, nestled in his arms. "She's already asleep," he said, almost in a whisper. "Should we put her down?"
She nodded. "I think so." They both got up and he moved towards her to hand Ryleigh off, but she shook her head. "It's okay for you to take her." She put her hand on his back as he moved to the stairs and then followed him up to their bedroom. He headed for the changing table, where she had laid out the blanket they would use to swaddle her. When he had set her down on the blanket, she swaddled her the way the nurses had shown her and then lifted her and set her down in the bassinet.
They stood there, looking down at their daughter, watching her chest rise and fall. It felt like such a miracle she was home, even though they'd known from almost the beginning that she wouldn't be in the hospital long. She watched her daughter sleep, enchanted by how tiny, but perfect, every one of her features was. A little crease developed between her eyes and then smoothed out a second later. She smacked her tiny rosebud lips once, then again. Her face was starting to fill in and her skin was velvety smooth, with just a hint of pink.
Chip put his arm around her and she looked up at him, then slid her arm around his waist. "She's so beautiful, isn't she?" she asked.
He nodded. "She is that." he breathed in deeply, then let it out. "These last few weeks have felt like forever, but now she's here where she belongs." He leaned towards her and kissed her on the forehead as she leaned into him. "You were strong and brave and you did a great job of taking care of her until she was born." He smiled. "I'm proud of you."
She could feel herself blush. "I couldn't have done it without you," she murmured. Then she smiled. "Literally I couldn't." He grinned. She turned towards him, putting her other arm around his waist, as he wrapped her up in his arms, pulling her in close.
"I think we both did good," he said. "Together." He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. The gentle pressure made her open her mouth to his, kissing him deeply. As always, when they kissed, she could feel herself get lightheaded, as she thought about this wonderful life they would have with Yoby and Ryleigh. Their own special life that was good. And then all that fell to the wayside as she let him carry her away with the feel of his lips and tongue and the taste of him. It was like heaven on earth.
