Chapter 20: Realization
It was quite late as Sky and Z drove in Syd's car, back to the academy, they had decided to stick around a little more, after Syd and Joseph had left. They had ordered dessert, (which hadn't exactly been Sky's favorite idea) and then they had decided to crash a beachside fiesta and share a little passionate slow dance. Both of them had been so lost in each other, genuinely, that it was hard to believe they weren't actually in love. Either they were really, really good actors, or there was something more in them than was visible to the eye.
When they entered Z and Syd's room at the academy, Z turned and threw her arms around his neck, and brought herself up on her tippy toes to gently kiss her on the lips. He kissed her back, but didn't attempt to shove his tongue down her throat. She found that highly unusual, after all, they were all alone, inside a room, and weren't going to be disturbed until morning.
Maybe he just forgot, Z thought, and decided to push her own tongue against his lips, and demand entry, which he denied; she broke the kiss.
"is something wrong?" she asked, concerned,
"no, nothing's wrong" he replied, a little surprised by her question. Couldn't they even kiss? Oh wait… nope, that didn't fit in their limits. They were only supposed to pretend to be dating when in front of other people, and when alone, they were nothing more than two people fulfilling their sexual desires. For some reason, Sky didn't feel like going through with it.
"well," he awkwardly began, not knowing what to say. He usually kept EVERYTHING so perfectly arranged. Even his thoughts! And this mess in his mind was irritating him, "I think I'd better get going" he said, smiled sort of awkwardly, and then hurriedly left, leaving Z feeling a little hurt and a lot confused.
What had gotten into him?
Meanwhile, Sky made his way back to his room, and knocked, slowly. Bridge opened the door, sleepily, "you had your keys?" he asked.
"I didn't," he replied, without offering much explanation.
"it's been a while since you came back for the night… everything all right?" Bridge asked, reading his friends aura, immediately knowing that everything was NOT all right.
"it's… it's Z." Sky sighed.
"did she say something that hurt you?" Bridge asked.
"no! she can never do that." Sky replied defiantly, defending her.
"then what it is Sky?" Bridge asked, "you're her fake-real-fake-boyfriend-friend-with-benefit, what more can you possibly ask?"
"That is exactly what it is Bridge!" Sky groaned, "I'm not… comfortable with this fake-real-fake-boyfriend-friend-with-benefit arrangement! It's getting weird!"
"then what do you want?"
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!" he was really frustrated.
"Sky, Sky," Bridge said, placing a hand on Sky's shoulder, "calm down buddy…"
Sky looked at him like a sad puppy, making Bridge go all 'aawww'.
"okay, let's try this trick. You're not an empath, so it'll work on you, okay?" he asked, and Sky nodded.
"answer the questions really fast, okay? Without thinking." Sky nodded again, and Bridge began his quick paced attack of questions.
"what do you like more? Cupcakes or ice-cream?"
"Cupcakes"
"iced tea or cold coffee?"
"cold coffee"
"did you draw people?"
"yes"
"do they know about it?"
"no"
"Young Justice or Teen Titans?"
"Teen Titans"
"do you love Z?"
"yes"
The moment that word was out of Sky's lips, he wished he could take it back, while Bridge sat back with a sagely look.
"you had to realize it someday" he said.
Sky stuttered, "I—I—I love her as a friend, nothing more! Nope! I cant even think of her that way!" he protested.
"then why did you feel mad when she started dating Joseph?"
"I didn' feel mad! I was concerned."
"sure, you keep telling yourself that sweetie" Bridge said, and snickered, "both of us know what you feel, or felt at the time. You can deny it all you want with me, but how long can you fool yourself?" he asked, and seeing Sky's reaction, smiled, and laid down in bed, "good night." He said.
Sky also lay down in his bed, but it seemed strange. He had completely lost the habit of sleeping alone, and so, he couldn't drift off to sleep. He kept missing her soft body right next to his, where he'd wrap his arms around her and snuggle into her back. Why was he missing her so much? Was it actually like Bridge had said?
He wanted to sleep, but his mind kept talking to itself, about Z. That girl was even stealing his night's sleep! Why? Why couldn't he sleep?
He sat up, and decided to look at his sketches, his sketches of Z, in particular. He fished out his little blue box, and its key, which was actually attached to the zip og his SPD jacket, which he always wore. And when it went for laundry, he usually, unhooked it, and latched it onto another jacket of his, so that he always held on to it. That box contained his most important momentos, practically everything that made him teary, and emotional, and he realized that lately, most of the things that landed up in his collection were relating to Z.
Was he somehow obsessed with her and hadn't realized it?
Or was he actually in love with her?
The questions kept turning in his mind, as he rummaged through his safehouse of memories. Yeah, he liked to call it safehouse; a place where his weakness would never be discovered. Being perfectly candid, Sky Tate had NEVER shown this to any human being alive. This little blue box had been his little secret, ever since his dad had died.
He didn't want to wake Bridge, who was already fast asleep, and snoring, so he took his box, and made his way outside, and settled down on the couch in the common room, and doing something he never really could do with people around, he brought his feet up on the couch with him, so that he was comfy and he had the box between his feet to prevent the contents form spilling. Some of the interior parts of the box, contained stuff from his teenage and childhood, the top, of course, contained the newer additions. Sky flipped the contents upside down, and started rummaging through them holding something for inspection if he found it interesting. There was a class photograph of his 9th grade batch, in which, he had circled a boy with a black marker, and written, 'Dingus' and circled another one and written 'Doofus'. Doofus and Dingus, his favorite names for the Brixton twins whom he liked to dunk in the toilet. He laughed at the memories.
Then there was a movie ticket, to 'Birds of Prey', he had been fifteen when that had been released, and he had snuck out to watch it with Dru. There were the entrance passes to the Rijks museum, in Amsterdam, where he had gne with his mother right after his seventh grade finals. He remembered there was a LONG queue outside the Anne Frank house, and he couldn't vsit it, as they were short on time, and that is one thing he really regretted, as the very next year, they had the whole Anne Frank Diary, 'The Diary of a Young Girl' as their supplementary reader. So many memories, all just papers, and having absolutely no meaning without the memories assigned to them. It was quite a spectacle.
Then there were the new additions, like his little sketches of Z, which he didn't want anyone to discover. These were more on the 'safehouse' part, rather than the 'memories' part, because he didn't consider his sketches to be proper 'memories', but he didn't want them discovered, so they landed in the box.
He flipped through the A-5 sized sheets, which were folded up, and kept, and he unfolded them, and smiled.
The one on top was his latest. She was sleeping in it. Maybe it was a little creepy for him to draw her like that, but he used to just watch her sleep, and then he couldn't get her image out of his head, so he did, on paper. He hadn't drawn her naked, as she had been, because that'd be way over the line. And he didn't want to do anything that might be hurtful. So he had just drawn her in a bright yellow top. She looked really pretty in it. He had wondered for a minute whether he should add in the tattoo on her back as a design on her dress, but then decided against it.
Then there was one of them kissing in the rain. He had drawn it like a kiss from an anime show, their eyes were closed and covered by their hair, they were drenched in blue, and well, they looked at peace. Sky had learnt to draw himself in the mirror long back, and had gotten used to sketching Z, so even though he hadn't been there as a third person, he had an idea what it would've looked like, the kiss. And in this way, he had captured her in many candid moments, which he liked to relive through the paintings.
He just flipped through the pages and smiled.
X-X-X
Meanwhile, someone else couldn't sleep either.
Z tossed and turned in bed, unable to rest. She was missing Sky like anything. And it was not the sex. She missed having his huge body cuddled behind hers, wrapping an arm around her, providing her warmth and protection. (Not that she needed any, but she liked the thought of having him there) she missed his jokes, that might just keep her awake through the night, if they were too tired to fall asleep. She missed their chats that usually ended with one of them kissing the other shut. Then they'd smile at each other, and just drift to sleep, feeling like the chat had reached its conclusion.
She got up.
"what can I do now?" she thought, because sleep was now off her charts.
She looked over her dresser, and pulled out her phone, and shuffled her spotify playlist. What song could suit her mood? Which genre?
What WAS her mood?
Only a song could tell. She whipped up her old rock music list, which literally contained nothing other than Lincoln Park. Nah! Not going to do the trick. listening to rock songs was giving her a headache, as if her brain needed to talk about something else, but couldn't speak in all the commotion. What was on? This used to be her favorite decision making song!
But anyway, she realized that her MCR emu playlist wouldn't do much help either, because it was virtually the same thing.
So then she shifted to nightcore. Funky? Not really the mood. Switching Vocals? Maybe. Depends on the song. She flipped through, and randomly hit a song. She hadn't even thought which one it was, and was surprised after hearing the song after like seven years.
It was strange how the lyrics of the song fit so aptly to her condtion. Well, some fitted in at this point, and some used to fit.
She mouthed along the lyrics, even more surprised that she still remembered so much of it, but she still couldn't place the name, and didn't feel like looking into the screen to see. Somethings were fun as surprises, "I'm just tryna keep it cool now, but that's not what I wanna do now,"
So apt,
"I'm not tryna be with you now," it had just been half an hour, and his abrupt disappearance had her completely off the rock. But she was trying to not overthink, not, trying to keep it cool, trying to not be with him.
"it's such a rush, yeah I wish you were here" no reason to explain.
Then came the chorus and dammit, she was shocked to realize that the song was about the girl's crush! The song's damned name was CRUSH!
"I've been thinking 'bout your touch like, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch" and then Z was singing the whole song before she knew it!
"maybe if I'm busy it could keep me from you" (Good idea, Z thought,)
"and I'm pretending you ain't been on my mind" (true, Very, very true, Z thinks)
"but I took an interest in the things that I like"
"but can you blame me when you keep me on the fence like"
that line was the MOST perfect for her situation. Wasn't she on the fence? She didn't know why he had left. Did he feel something was wrong? Did he want to end them? Break-up with her? Wait they had never gone out in the first place. But did he maybe wanna go out?
Only one way to find out.
X-X-X
Sky Tate was still with his sketches, and wasn't planning to leave anytime soon. He was just lost in a picture of Z, not sketch, which he had kept in the box as a memory, looking at her, when he was frightened out of his skin.
"Sky?" he heard, and almost jumped up.
"Z?" he turned around, recognizing the voice. Was she also not able to sleep?
"unable to sleep?" she asked, wanting to avoid the topic of him leaving her alone for the night. He didn't seem too interested in it either; he looked more or less edgy. She thought she had seen him stuff a bunch of papers hurriedly in his pocket, when she had startled him.
"yeah" he said, "no biggie"
"so, what do you have there?" she recognized the blue box, which had been locked when she had snooped around his room.
"it's just some useless, scrap papers" he said, and was it a blush on his face?
"nobody keeps scrap paper in lock n key, Sky, those papers have some meaning to your life, even if they're scrap to others." She smiled at him.
"alright, it's true. These are my memories." He smiled.
"why is the box blue Sky?" she asked, and he decided, that maybe, just maybe, he could tell her this secret of hers. it was something nobody knew, the only other person who did, had passed away. Mayb it wouldn't be so bad to open up and come clear. Not about the paintings though.
"you know Z, I'm a huge sucker for memories, and anything that connects me to it." he chuckled, a sad, sad chuckle. Z placed a hand on his shoulder, and sat down beside him.
"I'm not judging Sky. You know you can tell me anything" she said, smiling at the box beside him.
"Ranger Tate, aka my dad, had always been a warm, and kind person, who was always loved by his fellow colleagues; and me, his little boy, received all their sympathies after he died. There was this one blue ranger in his squad, a HUGE goofball, and a very compassionate one, a guy named Dito Kristall. When he had visited my mother and him after the tragedy, to offer condolences, he had quietly given me a blue box, this box" he pointed at the one in his lap, "and whispered to me that it had been his safehouse of memories, but that now the legacy should be passed on, and that I should have it." he smiled at the box, with a lot of nostalgia, "Since then, I've cherished that box, keeping everything that might even have a memory connected to it. I've always,, kept it a secret, but I'm entrusting you with it" he smiled at her, and she knew the box meant too much to him, and what a personal thing it was for him to share. "Krystall had also passed away from an illness, like a month later. So, this box became my last reminder of my dad AND Dito Krystall. Then I decided why not make it a reminder of everything that mattered to me." He smiled.
"Aawww…. That's so sweet" she looked at him, and he could swear he had seen love in her eyes. Then she looked at the box, "am I in there?"
"you think you are?" he asked softly.
"I wish I am" she chuckled, and he decided he'd come clean.
"some things…" he said, mysteriously.
"am I allowed to see into your childhood?" she asked softly, knowing almost certainly that Sky was so clammed up, he'd refuse. But he completely took her by surprise when he said, "I'd love to" he smiled.
And as he revealed every single bit of his past to Z, the highs the lows, the loves the blows, everything. It was just amazing for her, seeing Sky Tate open up. It was morning by the time he finished, and she felt like she knew a whole new person. It was just amazing for Sky too. it was as if he finally had someone who understood him. maybe he hadn't exactly given Z that much of a chance to reveal his feelings because he knew she wouldn't understand much.
And by the time the morning came, there wasn't even a slimmer of doubt in Sky's mind, that Bridge was right, and that he was completely and hopelessly in love with Elizabeth Delgado.
A/N: It turned out to be longer than i had imagined, but I loved writing it. But is it convincing, that Sky would fall in love with Z?
