Sex, Drugs, and Oblivian

2/21


Lucifer's wings wanted to burst forth, to unfurl, and carry him away from here. He pressed the basket he carried tightly to his chest and concentrated on keeping his wings contained. Even away, Lucifer imagined he could feel the pain of the ripped away primary. Maze marched ahead of him also carrying a basket and wearing a heavy pack. It was everything they were taking with them from Maze's dome.

Following Anilith's orders, Maze had been assigned to join the guard at the Collective's wall. It was not a coveted position. The wall guard were all vowed warriors: Lilim captured in border disputes and wars. They were cowards who surrendered in battle and got taken prisoner. That Maze should join their rank was a major insult. She didn't rage and rant. She didn't complain. He wished she would. At least she'd be speaking then.

Maze had packed in silence. Efficiently. She took her tools and crafting supplies in the basket she carried. Her personal items: dishes, clothing, bedding, and small items of value, she carried in her pack. She wore her armor and her weapons.

Lucifer's basket held his clothing, the eye kohl Maze had bought for him at the market, their food—mostly his since he still couldn't stomach the dead flesh that the guards would no doubt be provided. His mind recoiled at the thought of the disturbing food the Lilim ate, but Maze never insisted he try it, and he never suggested she should abstain.

His pack was smaller. He had no armor or weapons, no tools of his own or extra personal items like Maze seemed to have. He had far fewer clothes and no items of value. The empty places in his pack were filled with cleaning supplies. The disparity in the value of what they carried wasn't lost on him. Of course she wouldn't trust him with anything important after he failed her so spectacularly in the Spire.

Pack the food you like, as much as you can carry. They don't serve spawn food to guards, so you better make it last. He still didn't know the meaning of the word spawn, but he knew from its spoken tone that it was disgraceful to eat like one. He'd heard it plenty in the Spire. Maze had never spat the word at him before.

The one thing of value he carried, didn't belong to him. Maze's trophy pouch was tucked securely inside his clothes, next to his skin. Anilith had rejected it, insulted it. He'd been so proud of himself when he retrieved it from the floor. Until Maze had reached for it as she was dressing, only to remember she didn't have it. She'd shaken her head and muttered, "All will know that I presented my pouch when Anilith puts her tributes on display. Let her dare claim I presented nothing of value."

He gulped.

Maze shouldn't have been punished for his mistake.

He wanted to give it back to her, to explain his blunder, but she said they needed to pack; there wasn't time to talk. So Lucifer waited. They'd barely spoken to each other at all since the Spire. Waiting only made it harder to tell her what he'd done.

He couldn't show her the pouch now.

Lucifer's back ached with the effort of restraining his wings. Maze stomped ahead of him. She hadn't looked back since she turned away from her dome and said, "Follow me."

It was a long walk across the Collective to reach the portion of the wall she was assigned to. Maze veered off to the left and the Spire began to recede. Lucifer breathed a little easier.

They finally drew near the massive wall. Maze marched up the steps, and Lucifer followed. She hadn't told him any details about where they were going or what would be expected of him—had barely spoken to him at all since before they entered the spire. He directed his gaze to the ground and resolved to keep his tongue silent. He didn't know the protocol they'd be forced to live under now, but the safest course would be following her last instructions. Maze stopped outside the guardhouse door.

"Keep your head down. We don't know what we're walking into."

He nodded. Spire rules then. Most Lilim preferred it when he didn't counteract their assumptions and let them believe they were better than him.

She pushed through the door flap and Lucifer followed. Voices rose in consternation at his entrance.

"No beasts allowed in the barracks!" and "That thing can't be in here!" came through the loudest, but "monster" and "abomination" reached his ears, along with hissing, growling, and cursing. He took a step forward, his wings straining to unfurl. He could defend himself—no. The last time he'd intervened had been a disaster. He resolutely kept his eyes on the floor and stepped back in place behind Maze.

In response, she turned and grabbed Lucifer's arm, bringing him back outside. She put down her basket, shucked off her pack, and pulled her blades and set them down with a clatter on the basket. "Wait here."

"I can—"

She snarled without looking at him, and said, "Do not interfere."

She shouldered through the door flap with a blood curdling whoop, and pandemonium broke out inside. Lucifer itched to rush in, to help, but the weight of the talisman pouch against his stomach stopped him. Maze was better off without his help. The sounds of fighting tapered off and Maze's voice rose above the clamor, too muffled for him to understand the words, but her tone was pure venom.

The door cover swept open and Maze retrieved her things. "Hurry up."

Lucifer didn't respond. She didn't want him to speak, and she had already gone inside, so he followed. The atmosphere writhed with tension. Anger, fear, and malice jostled at him as he followed Maze to an empty section of the large dome. Along the walls, niches were built in, two at a time, one stacked above the other, and with enough room for the average Lilim to lay flat and sit up. A small space in front of it was partitioned off by hanging furs. Maze sat her things in the corner of the space and he set his on the other side.

"Sweep out the bunks. Use the top one for storage." She again didn't wait for his response, just turned and walked out of the alcove.

Lucifer bristled at the order, but he swallowed the retort. There was no privacy here. Maze had enough to contend with. He didn't want to add to her problems any more than he already had.

There wasn't much ash in the niches, but he swept it into his pan and set it aside. The Lilim moved around outside the alcove with low growls and snarls. Maze's voice wasn't among them. Busy. That's what he needed to be, so he unpacked their things, placing them into the top alcove. The dishes and cookware occupied one end, the clothing the middle, and cleaning and medicinal supplies the other. He set their rug into the middle space.

No one could see the talisman pouch, especially Maze. Not now. Neither of them liked purple jelly fungus, but he'd been sure to pack the jar for exactly this purpose. He tucked the pouch into the small jar and hid it at the bottom of his basket. She'd never look there.

He took the bedding from the basket and approached the niche. The dim light of the room left the depth of the space in shadows. He swallowed. It hadn't looked so foreboding when he was only cleaning it, but now… It seemed to grow deeper and darker. Bound. In the dark. He took a step back. He'd rather sleep in the wind driven ash outside than willingly go into that hole.

Maze had pulled him from the fiery lake. She'd freed him from his Father's eternal torture. She'd traded her freedom for him. He'd repaid her with defiance and brought her shame.

From outside the partition Maze said, "Get your cloak and follow me, Lucifer."

He stepped out and stilled. Maze wore a grey round helmet and a shapeless grey cloak obscured her armor. She turned on her heel and marched out of the barracks dome. He trailed after. She led him far out onto the wall. Small domes made of only columns and round roofs studded the top. Crude stone benches had been built along the walls, and bored Lilim wearing the same gray, shapeless uniforms sat staring out at the wastelands. The Lilim glared and growled as they passed.

The shelter Maze stopped at had no bench. Maze widened her stance and relaxed into waiting. Lucifer stood beside her. They could talk now. He opened his mouth, but no sound emerged. Several times he began, and stopped. The sound the lash made as it struck her back tainted every conversation he could think of. There had to be something—

"Go sit on the other side."

His spirits dropped. Maze was right. There was nothing he could say to make things right. Why try? He trudged away from her and plopped down. He should have known better. Seen and not heard. He could do this. He sighed and looked out over the ledge down to the lanes below. His Father had given him plenty of practice in doing nothing.

Shouting in the lane drew his attention to a small and stout but very angry sounding beast trying to bite a Lilim's leg. The chaos and energy of the collective drew him in. Watching the Lilim was better than the nothing Maze had to stare at. The wind here on the wall tugged at his clothes even while in the lanes the air remained calm. He tried not to cough at the ash the wind stirred up.

After three knuckles of ash, a slender guard wearing the same grey cloak as everyone else, but no helmet, trotted up to them. He carried a pail with two bundles of cooked flesh, and a jar of water in a sling on his back. Lucifer's stomach grumbled.

The Lilim offered him a bundle. No way was he eating that. "None for me."

Maze speared him with her gaze, but the whelp wasted no time, tearing at Lucifer's portion of the flesh like he hadn't eaten in days. Lucifer turned back to the city below. He would fill a jar with porridge before they came back the next ashfall. The slender one left, a spring in his step as he headed back toward the distant stairs. Lucifer's stomach grumbled and he picked at his clothes irritably. This shelter kept the worst of the ash off, but he was still coated in it, and he was hungry.

The winds blew harder stirring the ash in earnest, and Lucifer stood, shaking what he could from his clothes and hair. He waited for Maze to move, but she stood still as a statue until the winds tugged at their clothes, and they had to pull their scarves up to breathe. It was too late. Lucifer coughed against the accumulated ash in his throat and drawing air in was difficult. She set out at a jog at last, and Lucifer followed.

The ash choked his breath, obscured his vision, weakened his knees, but Maze remained as steady as she'd been all day. She opened the door and Lucifer stumbled through it, coughing. With an exasperated snort, she grabbed his elbow and dragged him to their alcove. He coughed a few times before catching his breath. Maze handed him a flask of water and he drank.

"Mazikeen's beast is weak." A voice from outside their alcove jeered.

Maze's face drew into a scowl, but she tugged on his scarf, still hanging around his neck. "I've shown you how to tie this, Lucifer. A loose scarf is worthless."

"Mazikeen the warrior? More like Mazikeen the sprog-minder!"

Howls of laughter rang out, and Maze stalked out of the alcove. The laughter cut off, and footsteps retreated toward the other alcoves. Lucifer pulled aside the hide, but Maze was the only Lilim left in the communal area. She took her ashy helmet and cloak off and hung them on a peg by the wall. Lucifer copied her, hanging his cloak and hood on the peg next to hers.

"Eat something, Lucifer."

The low burning fire of the hearth in the communal area held enough heat to make porridge, and Lucifer filled his belly, glad to be done with the gnawing hunger. The other Lilim crept out of their alcoves as Lucifer and Maze lounged near the warm fire pit. Narrow-eyed looks were tossed his way, but there were no more comments about beasts. All the same, it was a relief when Maze nodded at him to follow her into their alcove.

The relief was short-lived as the yawning maw of the niche reached for him. "Lucifer." Maze's sharp tone called him back. She had removed her armor, but retained her softer leggings. She held the jar of salve out to him. He took it and treated the lash marks. Two of them had opened and bled.

Maze remained silent through the ministrations, and when he finished she pulled her tunic back on.

"Maze—"

She grabbed his arm and shoved him back. Lucifer didn't resist. Was this it then? Would she deliver him back to Anilith? He wouldn't fight her. It was what he deserved. He didn't belong here any more than he belonged anywhere. They could throw him back in the dungeon, lock him in the dark, take whatever they wanted. As much as the thought terrified him, it would still be better than being used as an excuse to hurt Maze.

"You're to stay by my side at all times. Go nowhere alone." She spoke in a very low voice, even right in front of her he needed to strain to understand.

The words drew him out of his dark thoughts, confusing as they were in contrast to his expectations.

"You're under my protection." She patted his shoulder briefly. "We can do this, Lucifer. You've done well so far. Keep your head down and stay quiet until I get a better sense of the layout. I'll figure something out, I swear."

He nodded again, still not daring to speak.

She reached into the upper bunk to pull out a bag from her crafting tools. "I picked this up a while back and meant to give it to you." She held out a small bag of thistles.

He took the bag from her hand and stared at it, his emotions at war within him. He ate one, and she smiled at him for the first time since the Spire. "We should get some rest, it's been a long ashfall and my next wall shift begins as soon as the winds slow."

Lucifer looked back at the alcove. She hadn't given up on him. Not yet. The bunk was made for one, but they'd shared sleeping rolls many times. This was no different. He tugged off his clothes, folded them up and shimmied in, far enough for his back to press against the wall, and Maze crawled in after. Her bare skin pressed up against his.

"We're living on rations, now. It will be better to conserve what we have," Maze warned before blowing out the candle.

The farting and belching coming from the alcoves around them as the other Lilim also lay down to sleep helped ground him, remind him that this was far from the dungeon and the darkness he'd been trapped in before. The sound of snoring Lilim soon filled the air. Maze was silent, Lucifer rested his arm over her side. They lay facing each other, and he curled against her, his mouth close to her ear.

He tried to think in Lilim as much as possible, to forget that he'd ever known a language before Lilim, but there were times nothing else could suffice to express what he felt inside.

He sang the words in a whisper, the familiar lilt of Enochian ran off his tongue, it felt like cool fresh water to his throat and his thoughts. It flowed out of him as eloquently as it ever had in the Silver City.

"Shh, go to sleep, Lucifer," Maze whispered, and placed her hand over his mouth.

And he couldn't help but grin. He'd said what he needed to. Feeling lighter already, he licked Maze's palm to get her to move her hand away. She made a disgusted noise and let go of his mouth, but rather than withdraw, she squirmed closer, her breath was warm against his throat, and he wanted to be closer to her.

"No, shush," he whispered back and made her laugh out loud.

And, by the way she responded to him, she wanted to be closer as well. Facing each other they pressed together, her arm wrapping around him, drawing him in, surrounding him. Afterward, he rolled onto his back, Maze laying on her stomach, her arm over his chest and her leg over his hips, and he was content to have her weight over him. The confined space slipped away, replaced by Maze's skin, and together, no matter the circumstances, things felt alright.