"They went out to the kings of the whole world to assemble them for the battle on the great day of God the almighty." -Revelation 16:14
Lucifer Morningstar teleported to the deepest region of Hell, where the Council of Hells was to begin. The prime dimension of Hell looked nothing like the other versions. No fire and brimstone. No desolate wastelands, and corpse littered graveyards. Nothing. The dimension was nothing but eternal darkness.
Lucifer walked through the vast emptiness of the dimension, until he came upon a silhouette of a table with several chairs, the only illumination was an ominous crimson flame in the middle. The Devil promptly sat on one end, and soon, other persons began to appear.
Three old men in suits, known as the Triumvirate of Hell, showed up, sitting in the first three chairs to the left of Morningstar. They were known as the First of the Fallen, Belial, and Beelzebub.
On the other end sat a slightly younger looking individual, wearing a black trenchcoat and holding onto a cane that was topped with a silver skull, known only as Mephistopheles. To the right of him sat the cenobite known as Pinhead, with his chains dangling from black leather, and pins and needles sticking out his pale face. To the left of Mephisto was Lucifer Magne, Charlie's father, adorned in his white tuxedo and wide brimmed hat, standing out from everyone else.
Last but not least were two cartoonish looking new Devils, taking the last two seats to the right of Morningstar. The first one, sitting closer to Lucifer, was Satan, in his red skinned glory, as he sat on the ground because of his height, yellow horns and goat hooves. What was new, however, was the halo over his head, as well as gigantic white wings. Finally, sandwiched between him and Pinhead was a newcomer, who just teleported there. He wore a train conductor's uniform, but it was stained yellow and green, and he had a dirty, unkempt orange beard. Holding onto his arm was a different version of Sata, this one was much smaller, had normal feet, and wore sunglasses.
"I said, I don't want to go!" the conductor yelled.
"Tough shit, Tram Sam. You thought you could take over my Hell? Your punishment is listening to this boring meeting." the smaller Satan looked up towards the rest of members seated at the table, giving them all a mischievous grin.
"He'll be in my stead."
Morningstar merely nodded, and watched as the small Satan vanished in a puff of smoke.
"I believe it is time to call this meeting to order." Morningstar announced, as he stood up. "No need for introductions. We are already present."
"Hey, fuck you, dipshits!" Tram Sam yelled. "What the fuck kind of Illuminati bullshit is this?!"
"Someone, shut that pretender up." the First of the Fallen groaned.
"With pleasure." Pinhead smirked, and chains came out of the darkness, entangling themselves around Tram Sam and forcing him to sit down.
"Hey, what the fuck-" two other chains wrapped themselves around his mouth, rendering them incapable of speech.
"As I was saying, we all know why we are here." Morningstar continued. "Too many alternate Hells have fallen to the demons of Argent D'Nur."
"Including ours." the First of the Fallen added, to the agreement of Belial and Beelzebub. "The demons took no quarter, and butchered everyone there. I'm on good authority that Malebolgia's realm was also ransacked."
"Mine too." Mephisto piped up. "I had just enough time to send the Ghost Rider back to Earth and escape myself. I have also received credible information that Darren Farley's subset of circles in his own dimension has fallen to the Khan Maykr and Icon of Sin's unholy alliance."
"It is good that Leviathan was still able to send his representative." Lucifer addressed Pinhead personally.
"I came on my own accord." Pinhead revealed. "I watched helplessly, as a titan destroyed the labyrinth's god."
"My kingdom was taken over too, you guys." Satan commented. "I know that after I got killed by Manbearpig, I got accepted back to Heaven, but God let me take a vacation there just the other day!"
"Speaking of Heaven, it appears the Khan Maykr has taken over several of the Silver Cities from other universes." Morningstar added. "I have heard that your father is dead, Magne. My condolences."
"My dimension has not been taken over!" Magne said happily, seemingly ignoring the news of his father's death. "Ironically, it is being protected by the Doom Slayer himself!"
Upon mention of the Slayer, most of the people at the meeting began to squirm uncomfortably.
"This can be a good thing." Morningstar reasoned. "He does want to stop Argent D'Nur from absorbing the other realms, after all."
"But is he enough?" the First of the Fallen asked. "He is but one man. And the prophecy of Revelation is upon us sooner than expected!"
"And the game has changed." Beelzebub added. "It is no longer a war between Hell and Heaven, for the Khan Maykr has united Urdak with D'Nur, and is assimilating all the other dimensions!"
"Fear not, I have good reason to believe that my daughter is assisting the Slayer." Magne told everyone.
"And I put the Rider in their path to come to their aid." Mephisto added.
"We believe John Constantine is allying with them as well." Belial announced.
"That last one I can confirm." Morningstar flashed his devilish smile. "I encountered Johnny and Charlie moments after I escaped my Hell. Oh, and Magne, your daughter says hi." Lucifer grinned, watching as the other devil looked at him annoyedly.
"And that brings me to my possible solution." Morningstar took out a six shot revolver from the inside of his suit, and laid it on the table. The other members of the council looked down at the gun, as it glowed a bright green.
"Hellfire rounds. Forged only in certain dimensions of Hell." Lucifer revealed. "And since most of our realms have fallen, it seems yours is the only one accessible to a forge, Magne."
Charlie's father smiled slyly.
"And why should I help fashion ammunition made of one of the only materials that can permanently kill demons and angels, as well as us?" Magne asked coyly. "What if the Doom Slayer decides to turn on all of us?"
"It is a risk we'll have to take." Lucifer retorted. "The only other weapon capable of killing demons and angels permanently are those spears made of divine light, mere fragments of the Spear of Destiny. And as far as I can see, it's not like those come in bulk."
The other members of the council murmured in agreement, before the First of the Fallen spoke up.
"Very well." the leader of the Triumvirate declared. "We approve this motion to mass produce Hellfire weapons and ammunition."
"I agree." Pinhead nodded. "The demons of Argent D'Nur deserve eternal torment."
"So do I." Mephisto chimed in. "As the Ghost Rider releases Hellfire naturally, his allies do not."
"Yeah sure, as long as my dimension is returned to normal." Satan shrugged. Magne looked around, seeing that everyone else was agreeing to Morningstar's plan.
"Oh, fine." Magne rolled his eyes. "I will have those weapons made in the forge." Magne went to grab the gun, only for Morningstar to snatch it away.
"I'm going with you." the Devil said sternly. "Just in case you try to save your own skin." Magne gulped and nodded, and he and Morningstar teleported away with a flip of his pentecostal coin. The other head demons stared for a moment, before teleporting away from the abyss, with Pinhead releasing Tram Sam from the chains.
"Aw, fuck all of you Devil pieces of shit!" Tram Sam yelled in the darkness. "If it were up to me, all of you fuckers would burn!"
Both Lucifers appeared in front of the royal palace in a column of fire, surprising a few demon walking by.
"Where is the forge?" Morningstar asked.
"Underneath the palace." Magne told him. The favorite son of God nodded sternly, and ushered the king of Hell forward, where they walked through the doors.
As the two Devils made their way to the forge, Magne's wife approached them, worry in her eyes.
"Lucifer, what is he doing here?" Lilith asked.
"Morningstar is seeing that I create Hellfire weaponry to battle the Khan Maykr." Magne answered briskly.
"I'd say it is good to see you again, Lilith, under better circumstances, but time is of the essence right now." Morningstar snidely remarked, wearing a devilish grin. Magne scowled, and the two quickly entered the underground forge.
"It will take some time to create enough ammunition for everyone." Magne told the other fallen angel.
"Then we best get to work." Morningstar replied, as the demons in forge began making the weapons.
John Constantine felt like he was woken up from a long nap, looking around and seeing nothing but a blank white slate everywhere.
"Where am I?" Constantine wondered out loud.
"You are in Purgatory." the hooded figure, the Seraphim, appeared in front of the demonologist. "The others have been woken up, and are waiting." behind the Seraphim, a door appeared out of nowhere, and Constantine opened it, revealing what looked like an entire floor of office cubicles.
"This is Purgatory?" Constantine scoffed. "Not really the one I remember."
"You refer to the realm looking similar to the island Lian Yu." the Seraphim noted. "This is merely a Purgatory from a different dimension."
"I kinda gathered that, thanks." Constantine grumbled, as he took out a cigarette. Just then, a short, portly man with balding hair walked over to him and grabbed the cigarette, throwing it in the trash.
"Hey, this is a no smoking environment!" the man exclaimed. "It's bad enough I gotta go through everyone's personal life and decide who goes to Heaven or Hell, but I don't want to get blamed for any fires around here!"
"You decide who goes to Heaven or Hell?" Constantine cocked an eyebrow. "Who are you, mate?"
"My name's Tony Purgatelli, and yeah, I know it sounds like Purgatory, which should be convenient, but it's not." the short man introduced himself. "And I'm not the only one who sends people to Heaven or Hell, thank God. There's also that fucking asshole Chad Bradley, and Samael…"
Constantine decided to tune Tony out, and spoke to the Seraphim again.
"Who exactly is everyone else that's waiting?" Constantine asked.
"Those that the Doom Slayer and his companion had collected." the Seraphim explained. "They are waiting at the bottom floor."
Constantine shrugged, and headed towards the elevator, and hit the button marked for the bottom floor, decorated with a skull.
"TONY, MY OFFICE, NOW!"
"Hey, wait! Hold the elevator!"
Tony Purgatelli ran over to the elevator, which Constantine graciously held open.
"Hey, thanks man." Tony sighed in relief, before looking up at the trench coat wearing brit. "What was your name again?"
"Constantine. John Constantine."
The elevator doors opened, and Constantine and Tony stepped out, finding themselves in an office of sorts. Well, it was more like a throne room, as there were no chairs or desks, and the walls were decorated with skulls. In the middle of the room was a giant throne, and sitting in it was a one hundred foot tall skeleton, wearing a black robe and a huge sombrero.
"Uh, Death, what did I do this time?" Tony asked, petrified.
"Nothing Tony. At least not yet." Purgatelli's boss, the Grim Reaper himself, told him. "I just need you to make some coffee for our guests."
"What, you think I can make coffee with that thing?" Tony exclaimed, pointing to a massive coffee grinder to the far right of the room.
"You'll find a way, Tony. You find a way to keep doing your job here at Purgatory, right?" Death reminded him. Tony sighed in frustration, and went over to the grinder, where he attempted to lift a giant bag of coffee.
Constantine tore his eyes from the sight of Death and his employee, and looked straight in front of him, seeing people that he never knew. There was a red skinned man with sideburns and a stone hand, and right next to him was someone in all black armor, a red cape, and glowing green eyes. Farther back was an ordinary looking person, but had a chainsaw attached to his hand, and holding onto a sawed off double barrel shotgun. Next to him was a woman with pale skin and stark white hair, wearing a black bikini that was decorated with gold skulls. Right behind them were two men dressed in black leather, wielding chains, and next to them was another leather wearing gunman, but with a bulletproof vest that had a skull crudely spray painted onto it. Closer to the front was someone who looked different from everyone else, wearing some type of helmet over his head with a visor, and had a gold badge that read the name "Dredd" on it. Finally, behind this Dredd, was a blonde haired man with a machine gun pistol, wearing an all gray uniform.
"Great, who's this guy?" the man with the chainsaw rolled his eyes. "You're a bit late to the party!"
"Oh sorry, mate. I just woke up from one Hell of a hangover." Constantine groaned sarcastically, then winked towards the pale woman. "Would've been up sooner if I knew you were here."
"Do not try anything, Hellblazer." the pale woman sneered, then glared at the man with the chainsaw hand. "I already promised him that if he tries touching me, that hand won't be the only thing he'll be missing."
"Well, it took awhile for you to wake up." the man with the hand of stone grumbled loudly. "I'm Hellboy, but you can call me Red. That guy is Ash Williams, some self proclaimed 'Chosen One'."
"How nice of you to meet me." Ash smiled wide. "And it's true! These guys called the Knights of Sumeria came and got me!"
"I am Lady Death, ruler of my dimension of Hell." the pale woman proudly proclaimed.
"Name's Johnny Blaze, and with me are Frank Castle and Robbie Reyes, also known as the Ghost Rider." one of the individuals in leather introduced himself, then nodded towards the other guy with the white stripes on his jacket, as well as the man with the skull vest.
"I'm Spawn, but my real name was Al Simmons." the demon in the red cape spoke up.
"And I'm a Judge from Mega City One." Dredd growled.
"William Joseph Blazkowicz, Allied forces." the man with blonde hair stated. "Everyone calls me BJ."
"I'll bet you're fun at parties, eh mate?" Constantine smirked, and winked at Blazkowicz.
"Sorry, I'm married." BJ quickly replied.
"TONY!"
Everyone looked over to the side, where Tony Purgatelli was desperately trying to lift the gigantic bag of coffee.
"Tony, why hasn't any coffee been made yet?!"
"Oh come on, Death, it's a giant bag! How can I possibly lift this?"
"Fine, I'll just do it myself." Death snarled, snatching the bag away from Tony and easily poured it into the coffee grinder. "Honestly, what do I pay you for…"
"Well, you don't really pay me at all, really." Tony interrupted.
"Tony, Tony… just get the fuck out of my office, will you?" Death flicked Tony out of the office and into the elevator. "You're embarrassing me in front of the guests."
"And you're fine with us being down here?" Constantine raised in eyebrow.
"Yeah, sure. Anything for my old friend Sera." Death shrugged. "Besides, I lost a bet to him about jellyfish dying once. Those bastards seem to live forever."
"So what's the point of us being down here?" Ash asked. "We're all supposed to just be buddies and kick some ass?"
"No."
The Seraphim appeared in the middle of the room in a flash of light, temporarily blinding everyone else.
"You are all here to assist the Doom Slayer and Charlotte Magne." the hooded angelic figure reminded the group. "As you all know, the end of days is upon us."
"And Heaven and Hell have joined forces, blah blah blah." Ash rolled his eyes. "I thought I stopped this when the mettle of man was tested."
"Or when I prevented Blackheart from bringing Hell to Earth." Johnny Blaze added.
"Or when I destroyed the Lord of Lies." Lady Death chimed in.
"Those were isolated incidents in your own universes." the Seraphim revealed. "Now that the Khan Maykr has united angels and demons alike, they can take over any universe they wish, and take this to a multiversal scale. The Slayer will require as much help as possible."
"So where are they planning on attacking first?" Frank Castle asked.
"The battle will be fought on the Tel of Megiddo." the Seraphim revealed. "The location of the final battle of Armageddon."
Out of nowhere, Lucifer Morningstar appeared behind everyone with a soft beating of his wings, holding two very large crates.
"Good to see you, Luci." John flashed a grin, with Lady Death nodding in recognition.
"Ditto, Johnny. Hope." Lucifer smirked, as he set the crates down, "Those Hellfire rounds you asked for are ready. I made sure to have Magne forge some special ones, specifically for each user."
Once he finished the last line, Morningstar opened the crate and pulled out a box, handing it to Hellboy. Red opened the box and grinned, seeing 22 mm rounds that glowed a bright green.
"Hellfire rounds specifically for your 'Good Samaritan'." Lucifer explained. "They can kill both demons and angels alike."
"Bitchin'." Hellboy chuckled, as he reloaded his oversized four round gun, and strapped the rest of the bullets to a bandolier, which he slung over his left shoulder.
Lucifer proceeded to also give modified rounds to Judge Dredd, who cocked an eyebrow curiously.
"Simply reload your Lawgiver, and specify that you want the Hellfire shot." Lucifer told him.
"Duly noted." Dredd nodded. Ghost Rider, Lady Death, and Johnny Blaze abstained from taking ammunition, having their own weapons, as the rest of the party loaded up.
"Are you all prepared?" the Seraphim asked, and watched as everyone else nodded. "Good. You will need to be, as I am sending you straight to Megiddo."
"What if we're too late?" BJ Blazkowicz asked.
"There's no such thing as late down here!" Death told everyone. "Time is irrelevant and has no meaning! Doesn't matter if it's been an hour or a year since Armageddon, he'll just drop you off at the exact moment you'll be useful!"
"I thought my curse was never able to return to Earth as long as Lucifer's allies live." Lady Death spoke up.
"That curse shall be circumvented." the Seraphim told her. "It appears the Khan Maykr has assimilated your dimension, and as such, the denizens of your Hell have allied with her."
With that, everybody, save for Death, Lucifer, and the Seraphim vanished in a blinding white light.
"Only ten of them, against the combined forces of Hell and Heaven from multiple dimensions?" Lucifer asked, raising his eyebrows in concern. "Even with them all united under the Khan Maykr, they will need even more allies."
"I agree." the Seraphim told Morningstar. "Take the weapons and give them to all their allies. I will deposit them to Megiddo the moment your task is complete."
The Devil nodded, and with a spread of his wings, teleported out of Purgatory with the crates of Hellfire rounds. At the same moment, the Seraphim teleported away as well, leaving Death alone in his office.
"Whelp, good luck Sera." Death chuckled to himself. "Oh, what do I care? More people will die, which means more work here in Purgatory!" Just then, Tony Purgatelli poked his head out the elevator, looking nervous.
"Hey, Death?"
"TONY, GET BACK TO FUCKING WORK!"
A/N: I hope everyone found a little bit of humor out of this chapter, especially with what's going on in the world right now.
At the time of writing this short author's note, my family was hit with devastating news. I'll be posting the last few chapters over the next couple days, and then I'm considering taking a hiatus from writing the third installment of this series. I'm too stressed out to write something halfway decent right now, and everything is starting to blend together into a giant shit sandwich.
Stay safe out there, and I hope you all are having good days.
