A/N: I'M BACK, AND SO SOON TOO, WHOOO!

Be prepared for a long chapter, but it was a necessary evil. I don't know if you guys noticed, but I have changed the title of the chapters to indicate that they will be Itachi/Sasuke centered in case you want to skip it. I will announce, however, if there are Naruto/Sasuke interactions in the chapter or some of Naruto's POV

A big thank you to my beloved Tofukuga from tumblr who was my driving force throughout the writing of this chapter, and a massive hug to MistyMi for being such a wonderful beta and such an inspiration!

Enjoy!


Assuming We…

Chapter Thirteen – Itachi & Sasuke II

Sasuke's POV

I won't deny that things felt a bit awkward after what we had done - it had been a lot in a short period of time, and far too many emotions to handle all at once. Itachi and I had exposed ourselves to each other, telling each other about repressed feelings that, in different circumstances, were not supposed to ever be put into words.

It almost felt like a bizarre dream, where one can't tell whether they enjoyed it or were disturbed by its nature.

The fact that I couldn't feel disgusted by what had happened between us was what disturbed me. Something like this was out of the ordinary, a taboo, and one should at least feel some form of guilt or revulsion, but, as Itachi had said, those feelings only managed to reach me to a certain extent, probably only due to moral values of some sort.

However, I only felt guilty about not feeling guilty. How could I when the person I'd been in love with had willingly taken the step to admit he shared my feelings? How could I when it had felt so good?

I could tell Itachi was struggling with the same issues. When one thinks about it, it doesn't seem like a big deal - not feeling remorseful for sinning in such a way -, and yet, the internal conflict remains, whether one likes it or not.

While I could afford to bask in everything in a more careless way, I immediately noticed that Itachi carried this burden from a different perspective that I could understand from a rational point of view, yet couldn't quite grasp.

Of course, this was only the childish me, too blinded by the emotional high I was feeling.

Itachi was the older brother, the adult who was supposed to be responsible for keeping things in check, yet he hadn't, and even if I was happy about that, to him, that lack of control had been an irresponsible mistake.

Not that he considered a 'mistake' being intimate with me, but for sure he thought he had faltered when he had allowed himself to bring a form of sex to the equation so suddenly, when we had both just started to enter this new reality.

A part of me empathized with the sentiment – it had been rather unexpected, and too fast, too soon. We had barely touched, and the moment we kissed things had escalated until we orgasmed together. However, another part felt slightly exasperated as well because I didn't want Itachi to draw away from me again out of some moral obligation of being socially correct.

We held each other on the sofa for a long time, not really saying anything; just enjoying each other's presence and the quiet pleasure of finally being in each other's space without barriers.

After a while, Itachi suggested that it was better if we cleaned up, and I gratefully agreed because the stickiness in my underwear was getting uncomfortable.

"You don't want to take a shower?" I asked, once we were in his stylish bathroom, a not so subtle suggestion implied. I opened the shower faucet so the water could heat up.

"I already did before you got here," Itachi said, in his serious, yet polite tone. I started removing my sweater and at once his eyes were dragged towards me, narrowing as I was left topless. "As much as I would enjoy it, I'd rather not. I'll just clean up."

Pressing my lips together, I tried to ignore the disappointment that filled me. I had seen the hunger in his gaze, but once again, Itachi was putting up his veil, summoning the bubble that was his safe space.

He was thinking about useless stuff yet again, and I knew it wasn't wise to push him.

"Suit yourself," I murmured, unbuttoning my pants and lowering them along with my messy underwear. I turned my back to Itachi, who simply stood there, next to the sink, watching me. I could feel his eyes on me; they felt like feathers, running over me slowly and appreciatively, causing goosebumps to rise all over my skin.

"What are you staring at? It's not like you haven't seen me naked before," I said.

"I'm seeing you differently now," Itachi replied, softly. Taking a deep breath while feeling my cheeks warm up, I kicked my clothes to the side and stepped inside the shower, closing the curtains behind me. As soon as the warm water hit me, it instantly helped me feel a little less strained, since I was already sporting a forming erection that I hoped Itachi hadn't noticed.

These days with him were not going to be easy at all.

As I slowly washed myself, I could hear Itachi fumbling about and turning on the water in the sink. We were silent for a while, and it wasn't exactly awkward, just tense and slightly unsure. I felt kind of stupid, like a small child who had been caught doing something embarrassing and now didn't know what to do about it.

"Itachi?" I called out, carefully.

"Yes, Sasuke?" came Itachi's composed voice. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.

"You're not regretting this, are you?" I asked, feeling hesitant despite all the things we had already done and all the things he had said to me.

Still, he didn't reply right away, which had my heart beating slightly faster.

"I don't regret it," he said, and his tone was meticulously honest, gentle even. "I just need time to adjust, that's all."

"Adjust?"

"You need to understand, Sasuke, that I think about many things when I look at you," he said, this time a little more firmly, seriously. "There were many things about us that I wasn't prepared for when I agreed to kiss you, and I need to learn how to deal with them. You're my little brother."

"I'm not a child anymore," I retorted, even if his words caused things to happen in my stomach. "You need to get over that."

"Even if I know it, and see it, it's still a difficult concept for me," Itachi admitted with a sigh. "I don't enjoy the way I think, Sasuke. While it doesn't feel wrong to want you, it's not easy for me to wrap my mind around the things I feel when I'm with you like that."

This time, it was me who couldn't reply, feeling my throat run dry, my breath catching.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, feeling the water hitting me and sliding down my body. I felt hot, understanding well what he meant.

"I don't expect you to understand," Itachi added, choosing his words carefully. "I know you felt it too, but it's different for me. I'm not seventeen. We weren't on the same page from the start; it's a lot to take in."

Even if Itachi wasn't being purposefully provocative, I felt as if it was a provocation. Everything my brother said had a well-constructed meaning behind it, and I knew him well enough to see it. The concerned, almost self-accusatory tone he used was a giveaway that I made him go out of his own comfort zone and that I took his composure away. He wanted me to know so it was both a provocation and a warning, and that had the unexpected effect of riling me up.

What did he want from me? Was he telling me to break down his walls or was he warning me to keep a safe distance?

Maybe both. Maybe Itachi himself didn't know which was the right option, and for sure, this drove him crazy.

Itachi had always been the perfect man, the ever composed one, who always had answers to everything, whose voice never faltered, and who was always capable of seeing the bigger picture before anyone else. Itachi had always prided himself in being able to anticipate things easily.

However, because of me – with me - he had gone blind, his sense of direction ruined. It was my fault that his feelings were overpowering his intelligence; his immaculate analytic ability throwing rationality out the window to give room to impulse and emotion. For someone like him, always so calculating, this was a blow and a shock, and I could only imagine how it must feel for him.

For some reason, knowing that I was the cause gave me a strange sense of fulfillment. I should've known, though; he'd always been different when it came to me – honest, open, vulnerable, gentle and intimate.

I bit down on my lower lip, trying to ignore my forming hard on. It was strange, being suddenly so aware of Itachi when I had spent so much time avoiding this type of shrewd observations of him on my part.

This was all so new; I felt like a whole different world was unraveling before my eyes, and with it, a whole new me that was, apparently, very much interested in throwing myself to this bottomless pit of wonders that was the beginning of my forbidden relationship with my brother.

This was all Naruto's fault, I thought. He was the one who made me want to explore everything about myself.

"You don't think I can handle you, or your demands?" I asked, my voice a little too husky. Maybe it was a good thing that we hadn't showered together after all. "I know when to say 'no', Itachi, and act on it, too."

"I know you do," Itachi said, evenly. "The problem is, I know you won't. You'll be dragged by the current, Sasuke."

"Huh," I muttered. I couldn't help but smirk a bit. "What makes you think I won't be the one to drag you?"

Itachi made a thoughtful, yet strangely pleased sound. "If anyone could, that person would be you," he muttered, softly now. "For both our sakes, I hope you do."

000

It was Itachi's suggestion that we went out for a walk, and I was grateful for the chance to catch some much needed air and blow off some steam.

Since neither of us was in the mood for finishing lunch, once we had washed up and gotten dressed, Itachi and I cleaned up the kitchen together. Itachi mentioned that a few blocks away there was a family of stray cats that he usually fed, so we packed the leftovers of the rice and fish in a box and bagged it.

Quietly, he passed the last dish to me and I dried it with the cloth before putting it back in the cabinet. Next to me, Itachi was wiping his hands dry with his own kitchen cloth.

Unexpectedly, I felt the touch of fingers behind my ear before a full hand curled around the skin at the back of my neck. My heartbeat skyrocketed as I turned my head to the side to look at Itachi. His eyes were soft, yet filled with unspoken words I understood well. There was a slight pressure then, as he wordlessly pulled me to him, and I all but allowed it, exhaling gently when I saw him leaning down. Tilting my head upwards, I parted my lips, only to feel the touch of his, as he willingly kissed me.

It wasn't light or experimental like the first one. Itachi's tongue touched mine slowly at once, confidently sliding against it before our mouths joined, causing my chest to burn with feeling. I turned to him completely then, feeling Itachi coming closer still, and I all but put my arms around his shoulders, which was oddly new because he was a lot taller than me and I had to get on tiptoes a bit. As his other arm came around my waist, I felt him smirking against me, but I made sure to erase that fucking cockiness by deepening the kiss and pressing myself closer. I was the one feeling cocky when he released a low, appreciative moan.

The kiss was wet, noisy, and fast paced while we hugged each other tightly, chests joined together. It had been so long since we had hugged like this, maybe years. Yes, he had hugged me when I got there, but this was on a different level - neither strained, nor hesitant nor wondering.

Even though we had only kissed that one time, not even two hours before, this time there was only the feeling and rawness - the freedom that came with intentional, willing intimacy - and I was overcome with relief for some reason.

There was something very new still, very innocent, yet filled with longing, and once again, I felt both powerful and powerless before it. It wasn't a sense of estrangement at all, quite the opposite - like something I had found that I'd been looking for without realizing it.

It should be more complicated than this, I absently thought, daring my fingers to clench around the fabric of his sweater.

But it wasn't.

Itachi kissed knowingly, but with an abandon that made my head feel dizzy and caused my body to quiver. I could feel his muscles going hard against me, his hand clenching around my nape the way his breathing had quickened, and how the inside of his mouth had so much taste, so much ideal fluidity just… so much.

It felt like burning, yet I was content to be turned to ashes by his hand.

With a loud suction noise, Itachi broke the kiss. "My Sasuke…" he whispered, planting a small, chaste peck to the corner of my mouth. Biting on my lower lip, I couldn't find the strength to reply, so I merely nuzzled my face against his slowly, eyes still closed, savoring the moment.

Being with Itachi like this was both foreign and heart wrenchingly familiar. His scent was the same, his warmth, the silkiness of his hair, his loving demeanor - everything brought me back to times when we had been younger and I had been so innocently needy, always seeking out my big brother's approval, constantly longing for his affection.

Back then, I didn't hesitate to reach out to touch him, to hug him, to sneak into his room in the middle of the night so I could snuggle against his back under the covers. I'd always bury my face in his shoulder blades and put an arm around his torso. Sometimes he would turn to me and pull me to his chest before tucking me in. Sometimes I'd fall asleep feeling the touch of his lips pressed to the top of my head.

He had seemed so tall back then, so much older and mature, and I had always felt safe with him without even understanding why.

Those had been quiet, content times. How things changed. How fascinating it was that I could remember it all so vividly.

As I hugged Itachi in that quiet kitchen, our hearts pounding together, I could still feel that brotherly love from back then, from both of us, and yet, the familiar comfort came hand in hand with the newfound tension of lust. We weren't children anymore, and that embrace had been initiated with the purpose of closing some sort of distance, bringing the reassurance and comfort of nostalgia, but also reminding the both of us where we stood then, as opposed to where we were before.

Things would never be the same again, and I became cruelly aware of it in that precise moment. It was both exciting and frightening beyond reason.

Itachi's words resonated in my mind and I wondered if they were true. Had Itachi always thought of me as his? Because everything he did had always expressed devotion and demand.

Had I always considered myself as such without acknowledging it?

I didn't know. These questions were far too complicated for now. It was already hard enough trying to grasp this, and there was still so much we needed to work on, to understand, in order to reach someplace where we could fix it, together or apart.

"You're obsessed with me, aren't you?" I whispered, momentarily burying my face in his shoulder.

"When did you figure that out?" Itachi muttered sarcastically before pulling away slightly to look at me. I looked up at him. There was a small smile on his lips that I couldn't read. He leaned in to plant a kiss on my forehead. "Let's get going, I want to enjoy the outdoors while it's still daytime."

000

As sunny as the afternoon was, outside it was cold.

While I put on my dark brown jacket, and black scarf, Itachi had put on an elegant and long dark blue coat over a grey turtleneck sweater and some black-leathered gloves. He looked nice, casual, but well put together - still a sight for sore eyes. He put on some expensive sunglasses and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Did he really think he was going to go unnoticed that way?

Well, I knew he didn't, but maybe it was just a force of habit.

Side by side, we walked for a bit, exchanging a few casual words about mundane things. It felt good to walk those busy, noisy streets filled with color and light. People of all kinds passed us by - something that never ceased to fascinate me.

I was reminded of my first time in Tokyo with Itachi and how I had been so completely enamored and amazed by that hectic city life. Back then, I hadn't been sure about what to do with my future yet, but I knew I wanted to move there with Itachi, without depending on him. Itachi used to tell me he'd come for me as soon as he could - I had been the one bent on not being a burden to him because I was already filled with admiration for his guts. He accomplished so much all by himself.

Of course, if it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to become a model in the first place. Itachi had given me the liberty to do with my career what I wanted without much interference, so I was responsible for my own growth, and I allowed myself to forget that I owed him that part.

I still dreamt of Tokyo, but I still didn't know what the future looked like. I knew I had a place for myself at Itachi's apartment, the question was: did I want that? Or, more precisely, was that the wisest move?

As Itachi had said, a few blocks away from ours, there was a dark alley where a family of stray cats seemed to live; a mother and her four kittens, all of them a mix of black with white scattered spots. There was a large black plastic box strategically placed against the building wall, underneath the emergency exterior stairs, to protect them from the rain I presumed. Itachi had purchased the box himself, he had said.

It was funny to see that, as soon as Itachi's steps echoed in the alley, the mother's head peeked from the box, yellow eyes finding my brother instantly - they were familiar with him already.

The mother came out first, then the four kittens. All of them headed towards Itachi, meowing slightly and randomly surrounding him. I found myself smiling as I removed the lid from the box of leftovers that we had brought. Crouching down, I set the box down on the pavement. The family of strays eyed me suspiciously, but as Itachi came to crouch down beside me, they approached the box. The mother sniffed the contents first before her small tongue appeared to have a taste of the rice. She then backed away and the lively kittens gathered to eat.

The mother approached Itachi and rubbed her body on his thigh briefly. With the tips of his fingers, he scratched the back of her ear.

"It's very you to do something like this," I commented, as we both straightened up. I looked at him. "You were always kinder than me."

"I am not kinder than you, we simply show our kindness differently," he said lightly, shoving his hands inside his pockets. "I thought of taking her in when she was pregnant, but the truth is I don't have time to be a good caretaker, least of all with all the kittens."

"You can't just take in every stray that crosses your path," I pointed out.

"For now," he said, with a lopsided smirk. "Is there any particular place you want to go, something you want to do?"

"Not really, I'm happy just walking wherever," I replied, with a shrug of my shoulders.

He nodded thoughtfully, his eyes looking back down at the kittens around the box of food. "I feel like eating something sweet," he confessed, randomly.

My eyebrows rose at that. "How long has it been since you last had something sweet?"

"With all the physical preparation I've been doing for the movie, too long," he said, with an exaggerated sigh.

"I would feel sorry for you if only I enjoyed sweets," I said, sarcastically.

It was Itachi's turn to roll his eyes. Then, he smiled at me and offered me his elbow. "Shall we, then?"

I eyed him, understanding the silent gesture. This wasn't usual between us, had never been, and it was somehow a bit embarrassing. However, Itachi had never been the one to shy away from public affection between us - it had always been me - and maybe it was time that I stopped being a stupid kid and lived my life the way I wanted to.

Plus, I would not deny us the proximity, not now that things were so new and fragile.

With a nod, I linked my arm around his. Our sides glued together, we said our goodbyes to the family of strays and exited the alley.

000

Itachi knew of a nice coffee shop about fifteen minutes away from where we were, so we calmly made our way there with our arms always linked, casually strolling through the busy streets as the sun began to set.

It felt strangely nostalgic, even if I did feel a little self-conscious when people gazed our way. I know we weren't doing anything special, just walking arm in arm, but Itachi and I were very much alike physically, so there was no way that we wouldn't be perceived as brothers by strangers. Maybe people were looking simply because Itachi was a celebrity – even with his sunglasses on, he stood out impressively and I didn't know whether to feel proud or uncomfortable.

What felt like centuries ago, Itachi and I had walked those streets side by side like this, just enjoying each other's company and talking about mundane things, and I remember feeling so happy and lighthearted spending time with him, so fulfilled that it was almost as if nothing could possibly ruin it.

I hadn't been self-conscious then, because what made me the happiest in this life was having Itachi by side.

I looked up at Itachi's profile then, a sudden thought crossing my mind. How much had I changed, I wondered, form then to now? I used to be so clingy, so open with him, only to then start putting up walls between us.

Itachi didn't look back at me, his expression neutral, almost calm, but there was a rigidness to him that I couldn't grasp – one that hadn't left him even after he'd said all those things to me, even after we had kissed and been intimate.

For some reason, it felt as if he was angry at me and trying to conceal it. No, not conceal it; rather, he was waiting for me to notice it.

I wasn't used to this type of Itachi – the one that closed himself off like this while pretending to act natural. He had always been honest with me, open, almost recklessly so. Itachi had always had a sense of humor and a polite, yet joyful way to see life and to deal with me. No matter how many times I pushed him away, he always had a kind response and the right course of action.

It wasn't exactly different now, yet it was.

It had never occurred to me that Itachi could be upset. Well, of course he was upset - so was I, but this was on a sort of level I couldn't quite comprehend.

"It's been a while since we last went out together like this," Itachi commented, calmly, as if reading my thoughts, somehow.

"Yeah," I agreed, still looking at him.

"The last time you were in Tokyo, Naruto was here with you." Itachi's tone was conversational, yet for some reason I detected a little something underneath it that hadn't been there before.

"Hum," I muttered. "That was a nice weekend."

Itachi's expression didn't change, but he took a while to reply. "I'm glad you think so."

Those words, I noticed, were carefully chosen to make an impact, a silent way of letting me know something wasn't right at all. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, frowning at him.

"Have you spoken to him yet since you got here?" Itachi inquired, easily intercepting my question. "Naruto, I mean."

"No." My eyes narrowed at him before I turned my face away to look at the path ahead. "I only texted mom to let her know I got home safely."

Again, Itachi paused for a few seconds. "Isn't he going to get worried?"

"I'll text him later."

"He is your boyfriend," Itachi pressed on, his tone neutral, but firm in a stubbornness I couldn't evade. "You don't have to pretend that he doesn't exist just because you're here with me."

I couldn't help but wonder if he was genuinely worried about Naruto's wellbeing and feelings, or if he was merely being his perfect self, always being considerate of others, even in matters that didn't concern him.

It kind of bothered me. Not because I wasn't mindful of Naruto, but because I needed my own time to process all of this, and I needed my own composure to talk to him. I didn't want to mix things and maybe say something inappropriate to Naruto when I was still so hot-headed, so on edge.

"It's not that," I said, my arm tightening around his as a cold breeze brushed our bodies. "I just don't know how to talk to him after… well… what happened between you and me."

Itachi did look at me then. "You feel guilty?"

"Not guilty, no," I denied, honestly. "He knows I came here to settle things with the person I like. He was sure that I would get involved with the person, too. I just don't know what I want to tell him about that, yet."

"You don't have to say anything, Sasuke, at least for now."

"I know, but eventually I will have to tell him something," I retorted, lowly. "I wouldn't feel right if I didn't; he doesn't deserve that."

Itachi made a small sound with the back of his throat, and when I looked back at him, I saw that he was smiling slightly. "What?"

"You are such a genuine person," he said, shaking his head from side to side. "You've always been honest to a fault, even impulsively so. I find that very fascinating about you."

Maybe it had been the way he said it - gently, almost condescendingly but without a doubt fondly - that made my heart skip a pleasant beat. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed so fucking handsome in the sunset colors.

"You don't need to flatter me to get inside my pants you know," I let out, without really thinking. His eyebrows rose behind above the rim of the sunglasses and I felt my cheeks burn.

"Can't I just flatter you without ulterior motives?" Itachi asked, in an almost naïve way.

"I'd rather you had them, to be honest." What the fuck was wrong with me? I thought, as I cleared my throat at his unimpressed look and looked away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be that straightforward."

"Your straightforwardness makes you frustrated about my own lack of it," Itachi commented, perceptively. "It's not that I don't want to be straightforward, it's just that I think I've been so enough for one day, especially in that field."

My mind was instantly filled with memories of our interlude on the sofa and I had to momentarily close my eyes and take a deep breath to get my shit together.

"You're scared of me," I pointed out, carefully.

"I am scared of what you do to me," Itachi corrected, his voice becoming serious once more.

"Should I feel triumphant that I'm capable of ruining the great Uchiha Itachi, then?"

"If it inflates your ego, I don't see why not." Itachi seemed to become thoughtful, his body tensing for a moment before relaxing again. "You know me well, yet not well enough, it seems. We're here."

He came to a halt and I stumbled a bit, not expecting it. He had the nerve to smirk down at me as he helped me keep my balance, which caused me to make a face at him.

Only then did I notice that we were in front of a small coffee shop. Itachi placed a gloved hand on the glass door.

"Itachi," I interrupted, before he could move further. "Are you mad at me? Did I take things too far, too soon?"

Itachi seemed genuinely surprised by my question. "I took things too far; you were just a pawn to your own impulses," he ended up saying, dismissively. "Come, let's not talk about this here."

Without allowing me to speak further, he pushed the door open and pulled me inside behind him.

The coffee shop Itachi had chosen was small, but nice. I could tell it had recently opened since everything was new, beautifully decorated in polished dark wood with shiny golden chairs and small round tables, real flowers adorning the counter under which one could see a magnificent and organized display of cakes of every kind on one side, several savory delicacies on the other. It almost felt like something seen in the movies; European styled, almost romantically so.

I almost scoffed. This was very Itachi, too, I thought. He certainly had a taste for beautiful and nice things, and fortunately, the money to afford them.

We were immediately greeted by the smiling middle aged man behind the counter who was dressed in a pristine white shirt under a pitch black apron.

Despite myself, I felt the need to create some sort of distance from Itachi now that we were in a closed space, so I removed my arm from his. If this affected him, he didn't show it.

"Uchiha-san, welcome!" The man greeted, bowing politely, his slightly curly grey hair perfectly combed back, his curly moustache a healthy sight.

"Aragaki-san, good afternoon," Itachi greeted back, removing his sunglasses and bowing as well with his usual elegance. He gestured with a hand towards me. "May I introduce you to my younger brother, Uchiha Sasuke. He'll be spending Christmas with me."

"Oh, it must be wonderful to have family around for such a joyous occasion!" the man said, sounding genuinely glad. "You never bring company, Uchiha-san, you must be very happy."

"Indeed" Itachi confirmed, eyeing me from the corner of his eyes with a small smile. I could only swallow hard, a distinct, unpleasant feeling making my stomach churn.

"Nice to meet you, Aragaki-san," I muttered, tilting my head respectfully, for some reason feeling awkward.

"Likewise," the man said. "So, what can I get you fine gentlemen?"

"I'll have the usual coffee, and…" Itachi leaned over to observe the showcase. "The lemon cake, please."

"And the younger patron?"

I checked the showcase as well, my eyes landing on the savory side of it as I quickly read some of the names of the pastries there. "I'll have that spinach one, and the same coffee Itachi is having, please."

"Wonderful!" Aragaki-san said, his smile broadening. "Please, do sit down and I'll bring your order to you in a minute.

"Thank you," Itachi said. I felt his hand landing casually at the small of my back as he leaned slightly over my shoulder. "Where do you want to sit?"

The place wasn't big at all, and most of the tables were already taken. I noticed that two women at the far corner on the right were openly looking at us and muttering amongst themselves excitedly. There was a girl about my age sitting alone, too, and she seemed to be checking us out, her eyes peeking from above the open book she had in front of her face. Only an old man reading his newspaper didn't seem to mind us.

I wondered if Itachi was recognized.

If I had a choice, I'd prefer a quiet, private place, but the ones that could be considered as such were taken. "Let's sit over there," I said, gesturing towards the two person table next to the show window.

"I come here for coffee almost every day," Itachi confided, removing his gloves as we sat down. "It's the first time I'm bringing company, though."

"Is that supposed to make me feel special?" I retorted sarcastically, mentally slapping myself afterwards.

Why was I being such a cocky ass suddenly? I wanted so much to close the breach between Itachi and I, but all I seemed to be doing was pushing his buttons and sounding either arrogant or needy. I suppose months of trying to evade him had stuck to me, but I knew I would have to work on that - Itachi already saw me as child as it was.

It felt stupid to be both confident and embarrassed at the same time around him, but these were things that went beyond my comprehension. It wasn't that I felt uncomfortable per se with our exchanges, I just didn't know how to deal with myself in the most unexpected times nor with the way I felt with a few things regarding Itachi.

To a certain extent, I understood Itachi's feelings.

Aragaki-san had been happy to see that my brother had brought company with him, so it was a given that Itachi had always come by himself, he didn't have to explain that to me.

But maybe he wanted me to know that he was, indeed, always alone - him, who knew so many people yet seemed to have no attachments.

Had I truly not known him at all?

The corner of Itachi's lip quirked upwards a bit in a ghost of a smile, before disappearing. "I'm sorry if I seem distant sometimes, Sasuke," he started, neatly placing his gloves on the table, one above the other. "I need my mind to stay in tune with my body; I need to be able to take control of my emotions and at this point there is too much I'm trying to work with."

"Why?" I removed my own scarf and folded it to then place it over my lap, just to have something to do with my hands. "Even if you've always been that way, when things change you should be able to adapt. You always were the most adaptable person I know."

"As I said, I don't know," he admitted with an elegant shrug of his shoulders, crossing his arms over the table. He seemed to eye me in an almost curious fashion. "I thought I knew myself well, but when it comes to you, it seems that all I know is that I have this unforgiving love that sees no boundaries and has no end. Like and infinite landscape. Suddenly, I can't see the other side, even though before I always could."

I swallowed hard; a bit unsure of how to take that. Even if Itachi was speaking in a discreet way that only I could hear, I still took a slightly self-conscious look around to check if anyone was eavesdropping, but the few customers didn't seem to be paying attention to our conversation. "It sounds a bit frightening," I said, not helping the guilty feeling that assaulted me.

Itachi was acting as nonchalantly natural as he possibly could around me, and there I was, being slightly paranoid, which made me painfully aware, once again, of the breach between our levels of maturity.

"It's terrifying," he agreed, and the morose tone he chose was a strong giveaway that he had noticed my uneasiness. "I'm scared to do something that will make you hate me."

Straightening my back, I forced myself to relax. This was the big difference between Naruto and Itachi I considered. With Naruto, it was okay to do things and say things in public - we were the same age and obviously not related. With Itachi, certain things felt heavy and dangerous, people only had to look at us closely to see obvious, uncanny resemblances.

"That's not possible, Itachi," I ended up saying, firmly.

It all seemed too different, one side so simple, and the other so complicated and yet, it was all in my mind. I realized then that Itachi had chosen to bring me outside to see how I would react, what I would do. He wanted to talk about us, one way or another, and he would do so in a public space.

A part of me felt annoyed at his nerve, at his easy ability to be cunning like this.

However, I couldn't help but be amazed by it, too.

It was a test, all of it, a test for me, of my feelings for him. I didn't know if he was trying to expose the differences between us or if he genuinely wanted to see how I was working around our relationship as more than just brothers.

For some reason, this riled me up. I didn't know what it was that made this little mind game so fascinating, but it only fueled my drive to prove all of his assumptions wrong.

I had to undo the first few buttons of my jacket to gain some sort of composure. I was determined to not let him have leverage - I was fucking strong and I could take him down, too. I would.

Maybe that was what he wanted.

Itachi didn't smile, but his expression was attentive, intently evaluating me. "I didn't peg you for a hopeless romantic," he chose to tease.

"Shut up" I grunted, through gritted teeth.

For a while Itachi merely looked at me, nothing special on his features but intense contemplation. Having him looking at me like that did weird things to me. I shifted a bit in my seat.

"Does this new situation between us make you happy?" He eventually asked, seemingly casually.

God, that coffee shop was hot. I put one elbow on the table and supported my chin on a hand, my eyes leaving him to look out the window because I felt stupidly embarrassed that his attention on me was such an unexpected turn on. "I'm in love with you, stupid," I mumbled, my mouth buried in my palm. "What do you think?"

"Here it is gentlemen!"

Aragaki-san arrived at our table carrying a tray with our order. Expertly, he set everything down in front of us with well-mannered actions.

"Thank you, Aragaki-san," Itachi said, politely.

"Enjoy!" the other man said joyfully, with another bow, before retreating.

I looked down at the food presented, grateful that we had something to ease the tension.

The dark coffee came in a beautiful white cup, the scent of it strong and strangely comforting. Picking the warm cup up, I took a small sip. It was unlike any other coffee I'd had so far, refined in its complexity and expensive, I was sure. "This is really good," I praised softly.

"I'm glad you enjoy it" Itachi said. I noticed that he had already taken a bit of cake with his small, shiny fork and started to eat, releasing a small, pleased sound with the back of his throat.

I smirked. "You happy with that?"

"Hum, very," he said, swallowing, "do you want to try it?"

"Sure" I accepted, more to be receptive than because I had any interest in it since I've never been a fan of sweets.

There was a generous bit of cream-filled cake on the fork as Itachi extended it to me in a way that offered an open choice between being fed or simply grabbing the fork and eating it myself. I rolled my eyes at him before grabbing his wrist to steady it and taking a bit of the whole portion given to me. As Itachi's hand and fork slowly retreated, I allowed my own fingers to release his wrist to surreptitiously brush the skin of his fingers. From the way one of Itachi's eyebrows did a small quirk upwards, he noticed it.

"Too sweet" I complained, around a mouthful of cake.

Itachi's other hand reached out then, and I felt his thumb gently brushing the corner of my mouth. As I chewed, I watched him remove the finger, noticing there was cream on it. With his eyes placidly on mine, he brought the digit to his mouth to lick the cream off.

"That's a bit cliché, no?" I mocked, even as my throat ran a bit dry.

"It works, though, doesn't it?" He countered knowingly, with a small smirk.

It did. The sight was quite pleasing, not because there had been any particularly sensual intent behind it, but because Itachi had done it on purpose, knowing it would influence me.

"Have you no shame?" I whispered.

His smile turned mischievous. "Only to a certain extent."

I huffed at him and promptly took another sip of the coffee to wash the sweetness of the cake out of my mouth. Itachi mimicked me, sipping on the beverage soundlessly.

"So, you know what you want to do once you graduate? Have you thought it over already?" he asked, back to his conversational way. "

"l know I want to move here" I muttered, shrugging my shoulders. "I have enough money saved to pay for Acting School, but I'll definitely need to find a steady job to pay for housing and such."

"I thought we'd already agreed that you'd stay with me," Itachi said, frowning. "My apartment is paid for, it's ridiculous that you'd go waste money somewhere else."

"Even if I do stay with you, I still need money to pay for the rest of the expenses."

"Sasuke…"

"This is not up for debate." My voice had been assertive as I picked up my cutlery using the fork and knife to cut the pastry I had ordered. "I told you a million times already I want to do my own thing."

"I'm your older brother," Itachi defended. "You could at least let me…"

"We're done talking about this, Itachi."

Silence settled between us. I looked at him as I brought a piece of pastry to my mouth, concluding that, indeed, it was a lot tastier than the cake.

Itachi exhaled through his nose. "I don't know whether to feel angry or proud of your determination."

"You're allowed to feel both" I half-joked. "I don't care what you think about it as long as I do things my way, not yours."

"Fine" Itachi conceded, resuming eating his cake. "What else?"

"I don't know, I'll probably put myself on the market for more modeling projects and try my thing at acting. Later, I'd like to go to college, but I haven't decided on what I want to pursue there." I looked up at him, genuinely curious. "Have you ever considered going to college?"

"Sometimes I do consider it, but I'm always too busy and enjoying things as they are far too much" he explained, setting his cutlery down, again, his actions not making a single noise. "I might consider it when I feel the need for some peace so I can spend long evenings reading."

I chuckled a bit at that. "College is your idea of peace? What would you study, medicine? Politics? Something related to science?"

"Something interesting of the sort, yes."

Itachi's gaze absently looked out the show window, towards the sky that had started getting darker by the minute – it would be night soon. With slender fingers, he tucked a strand of silky hair that had gotten free from his loose ponytail and had been framing his face.

I found it difficult to swallow my food. Why the hell didn't he ever tie his hair properly? Was it a sort of rebellion against himself, as in, he'd let his hair become messy as a contrast to his always perfect stance and overall appearance? That sounded like something he would do, I concluded.

There was something mesmerizing about my brother, and while I could name a million things, none of them were visible to the naked eye. Itachi is an outstandingly attractive man, and anyone who exchanges a few words with him can understand that he is impeccably well-mannered and highly intelligent. Even from an objective point of view, it would only take a couple of minutes for anyone to be aware of this.

"You were always like this," I mumbled, feeling my voice becoming weak. "A perfectionist, but all the while so carefree. You just slipped through school so easily, learned skills and such as if they came naturally to you. I was always envious of that."

The look he gave me was one of slight hurt on my behalf, as if knowing he had caused some sort of negative feeling in me pained him. It wasn't an expression I liked to see on him because it hurt me too. "Just because I'm a fast learner doesn't mean I don't put my heart into things, Sasuke."

"I know" I assured him. "You practiced shit a hundred times if you had to until you could do it flawlessly. Even with the piano, I remember always thinking you sounded like a pro, but you kept saying it sounded horrible, so you practiced for hours until your fingers were swollen."

Unexpectedly, Itachi looked away from me again, a bitter smirk on his lips. "It sounds unhealthy now that you mention it like that."

"Maybe, but it always amazed me."

The air became oddly heavy after this, his doing I was sure. Itachi had this ability to make everything around him come to life with whichever emotion he was feeling or whatever thought he was having, even if, physically, he didn't show it.

However this time - both to my fear and relief - his body language had allowed itself to be an open book as he looked back at me, the intensity in his gaze showing a turmoil of emotions that I knew I would be privy to soon, and it probably wouldn't be pleasant.

On the fingers of one hand I could count the number of times I had seen my brother genuinely upset or angry. In the past, we had ranted and bickered as children, but during those small fights, his outbursts had been meaningless and not even heartfelt.

Now that I thought about it, I honestly didn't know what seriously angry, or genuinely sad Itachi looked like, and the thought was beyond intimidating.

"Sasuke" I found myself jumping slightly as he said my name and I knew nothing good could be coming from the way he said it. "Did you really start dating Naruto so you could forget about me?"

If my throat had been dried before, it turned into a desert at his question.

"I have no reason to lie to you, I already told you, yes" I replied, setting down my own cutlery because I had the feeling that I wouldn't be able to eat another bite. "And I didn't want to forget about you, I just wanted to forget how I felt about you. I thought that maybe if I could fall in love with someone else it could happen. I was that desperate."

"I hope you realize how childish that was" Itachi berated, unexpectedly, as if scolding me, and there was an underlying coldness there that I wasn't used to. "Even if I can understand where you were coming from, that's not the way to handle something like this."

"You don't understand how I felt. "I defended. "I…"

"I do," Itachi interrupted, straightening his posture. "You were angry, mostly at yourself, but at me, too. You were scared and didn't know what to do, so you decided to rebel against the feeling rather than trying to work it out with me."

My eyebrows rose. "With you?" I grunted, disbelievingly. "How? Just randomly coming up to you and saying 'hey, sorry to bother you but I might be in love with you and it's kind of a pain in the ass but at least I'm being honest'?"

I realized that my affront had probably made me speak a little too loudly, so I clenched my teeth.

Itachi seemed completely uninterested in the fact that we might be heard. "Maybe then we wouldn't be in this mess right now" he said.

"You said you never considered your feelings for me to that extent" I reminded him, being careful to keep my voice down even though I felt agitated. "I was scared you might be disgusted with me, that you'd move further away from me."

"You moved away from me" Itachi snapped, eyes lighting up in a reprimanding, oddly wounded way. "When have I ever judged you? Not once have I ever not supported or indulged you, Sasuke. Even if I didn't feel this way about you, I would never push you away or do anything to hurt you or make you feel bad about yourself. I expected you to know that."

Again, guilt hit me because I knew he was right, but back then, I had been so scared, so all over the place that I couldn't even think of Itachi as my brother - the person who had always accepted me as I was - and saw him only as an alluring presence who made me dirty and that was dangerous to my mental health.

I wanted to tell him this, yet I didn't want to hurt him - Itachi had always done everything so our relationship wouldn't fall apart, he didn't deserve me telling him that I had thought of him as something so beautiful, yet rotten.

"You're angry at me because I didn't sort things out with you?" I inquired through gritted teeth instead.

"I would've been there for you no matter what" Itachi insisted. "Instead of remembering that, you let your own anger allow you to push me away."

That was painfully true. I had never noticed the unfolding of my own actions, or how, progressively, my behavior had changed. I never considered Itachi's side, nor how he would be affected.

And I was suddenly angry at myself for not noticing.

"I felt like, if I pushed you away, I didn't have to deal with your smoldering me all the time and maybe I could stop feeling that way!" I quickly tried to rationalize my feelings at the time so I could give him an explanation that seemed plausible, but my own words sounded childish even to me.

"Of course" Itachi's reaction was a soft, almost snobbish snort in his ever polite ways. "So, you remembered that I loved you enough to smolder you, but not that I loved you enough to feel your rejection, your changes?"

Damn it, he was ruthless and I didn't know if this side of him was something I loved or detested, but the latter was surely a feeling caused by my own displeasure at being attacked in such an unmerciful way.

"I never rejected you, I still wanted you as my brother and my friend, but I just…"

"Why did you bring Naruto to Tokyo?" This time, Itachi's question was uttered slowly, emphatically. "Were you trying to flaunt your relationship, or were you scared to be alone with me? Or maybe you were trying to convey some sort of message to me, defiant as you were?"

Again, things I hadn't considered. I felt hopelessly uncomfortable then, as I fought to keep eye contact with Itachi. What had I been doing?

Kissing Naruto in front of him, flirting, all the while treating Itachi like shit, as if he somehow owed me something. Thinking back on it, I behaved as if Itachi deserved to watch us. I had been trying to make a statement, more to myself than to him, but a part of me…

A part of me had, unconsciously, wanted to piss him off.

Had I been intent on hurting him, somehow? Doing things to push him away so he could see I had someone else to focus on?

Was that what Itachi had seen, me being a brat? Had he felt that I had been trying to hurt him?

Protectively, I crossed my arms over my chest.

What had I been doing that not once did I consider my brother's feelings? My beloved brother who, despite the feelings of anguish I'd had, I had still been afraid to lose.

Right then and there, I understood that I had been completely lost, even if I thought I knew what I was doing. I still had no idea what to do with Itachi close, so I had behaved like that.

"I… I don't know," I whispered, honestly, feeling pained at my own behavior. "It made me feel safe, having Naruto with us. Being physical with him in front of you allowed me to have control over my emotions, to… feel like I was reaching something. It was easier being normal towards you with him around."

"You think that was 'normal'" Itachi muttered, less aggressively now, perceptive to my change of demeanor. "The way you behaved, the things you said to me, how you consistently defied me. You couldn't see yourself at all, could you?"

"I had no way of knowing your feelings…"

"You never did, you still don't know them, Sasuke, and maybe you never truly will."

The pain I felt in my chest at his accusation almost made me gasp, my eyes becoming huge.

That's when I realized that we had hurt each other gravely, both of us unknowingly.

He was right, wasn't he? What did I know? It seemed like regardless of what he said or did, I never took him seriously and I had feared him, mistreated him, and hated him when all he had done was love me without boundaries.

Itachi was surprisingly cruel (weren't we both?), but I was the biggest fucking fool.

I found that I had no words - no words to deny his, no words to apologize, and no words to mitigate the effects of what had already been wounded between us.

Itachi released a small, but tired sigh, looking at me with sadness and exasperation in his dark eyes. On his face was an expression that showed he knew he had maybe taken things a little too far, too roughly and that he regretted having exposed things that shocked me.

"I'm not the person you think I am, I keep telling you that," Itachi then said, shaking his head from side to side with a deep frown, his voice even, clear as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "There was always more to it when I asked you to be with me, here, in Tokyo. I don't intend to get married or have children. I purchased my apartment thinking of you, because I always wanted you, one way or another. Even before this, my whole life was planned meticulously thinking about how my path could affect yours, how my accomplishments could work to make you happier, more fulfilled, successful. I thought that much was crystal clear to you, Sasuke."

"It was," I confirmed, barely audibly. "But I was too terrified to see it, and too selfish to look beyond my own anxiety towards my feelings for you."

Licking at his lips in contemplation, Itachi's eyes softened at me. "What kind of person does that look like to you, Sasuke?"

Obsessed. Lonely. Self-centered. Selfless. Loving, yet oddly detached from a world that didn't matter to him – a world without me.

There was no measuring his feelings, and I knew I only understood this up to a certain point.

I sunk into my chair, chewing on my lower lip, my arms tightening around myself. "A person who loves me unconditionally to an almost sickening extent," I said, carefully.

Even as I said this, the concept was so overwhelming I knew I couldn't grasp even if I tried.

Itachi sighed again.

"Yet, you say you are in love with me." He picked up his cup of coffee, looking at it as if it held all the answers in the world. "What type of love is it, then? Because you can't claim to love me when your love is this inconsiderate and unmindful of me."

Had my type of love been inconsiderate? Had I been inconsiderate, cruel to him without knowing?

As Itachi brought the cup of coffee to his lips I allowed myself a few seconds to think it over.

No, I had known one way or another, that I wanted to hurt him, to make him react; maybe even to awaken something in him, as it did.

It made me feel sadistically pleased.

This also made me realize that perhaps I had been using Naruto, too.

Yes, without a doubt I had been that kind of manipulative bastard.

It was almost funny to think about. Us brothers weren't that different after all.

"I didn't consciously mean to hurt you, but maybe a part of me did," I admitted, feeling remorseful. "I wanted to make you angry, yes, to push you away, but also to make you do something, say something. I wanted you to be jealous because, even if I never thought you'd want me the same way, I did know that your love didn't want to give me away, as you said so yourself at some point."

Itachi made a fine impression of not being surprised. "You wanted to hurt me to see what I would do?"

"I wanted to cause an impact on you, no matter what that could be."

"It worked." Itachi put the cup down, his fingers of both hands caressing the ceramic almost lovingly. He pressed his lips together, evaluating me. "Your love is childish, and demanding, and I don't think you understand the serious consequences of your actions."

"Don't say that," I grunted, in my irritation finding the strength to uncross my arms and put both my hands on the table, creating a new proximity. "What are you trying to say, anyway? That you can't respect my feelings because you're hurt?"

"How do you expect to love me if you're in love with Naruto?" He snapped, relentlessly. "Blinded or not, unknowing or not, you found it easy to use him to stomp all over me, and you did it without a second thought."

His words made me feel anxious and attacked. Had I used Naruto?

"I already admitted it was because I wanted to spite you" I threw in a hiss, meaningfully venomous.

"Are you really in love with Naruto?"

"Itachi!" I huffed in exasperation.

"Don't lie," he warned.

"Yes!"

"Why are you here then?"

"Because you feel the same way about me and, fuck, how do you expect me to just let go of that?" I threw, annoyed.

"I wonder how long you have been testing me," Itachi suddenly said, making a strange face that seemed both impressed and disheartened. "I think I see now that you were doing so all along."

"What are you talking about?"

Itachi paused, and for a moment there, he looked up at the ceiling and seemed genuinely at a loss, as if trying to catch his train of thought but finding that it had slipped away from him. "This is all thoroughly messed up."

He said as if it wasn't obvious already, and I found myself relaxing, my muscles loosening as my self-defense mechanism dropped. Releasing a long breath, I resolutely reached out to touch his hand, forcing the fingers to uncurl from around the cup of coffee. Cautiously but confidently I held Itachi's hand in mine, my thumb rubbing over the back of it. Itachi's stoic gaze landed upon our linked hands for a while, its heat subsiding. I wondered if he was happy that I had initiated contact with him on my own, or if he was relieved that I was being so physically open outdoors when, before, I had been so self-conscious. I didn't know why, either, but it just didn't seem to matter anymore.

"Uchiha-fucking-Itachi" I started, more calmly now. "You always know everything. You know me better than anyone else, so you know how I feel about you, and you have surely studied all my actions up to this point. Why are you questioning me now that we got this far? It is fucked up, but you knew it already when you kissed me."

"I wanted to hear you say it," he said, evenly. "I thought I knew you, yet you proved to me that your type of love is one who hurts the other party out of selfishness, sadistic pleasure, even."

"You paid me back with interest when you decided to say weird things and do what you did on that rooftop," I reminded him, linking our fingers together, and through it all, he allowed it, his own hand responding to mine. "You drove me insane with confusion, hope. You decided to reach out on your own, and you weren't very mindful of my own mental well-being, of my relationship with Naruto or the respect that I had for him. You just sneakily slipped inside so I couldn't let go and you did it on purpose."

Fascinated, I watched the subtle display of emotions on my brother's face at my own, less violent accusations.

I allowed myself to smile, a provocative tone prominent in my low voice. "Has it ever crossed your mind that you could hurt me, too? That this kindness hidden behind these ruthless ways of yours could break me easily because I want you that much?"

When Itachi's perfect lips curved in a knowing smile, I found that I wasn't surprised. "Do you realize just how twisted we are, Sasuke?"

"I think that's actually what makes it so exciting."

It was. It felt strange to voice things like this, to realize that it had all been a maddening game and it still was, and to wrap my mind around the fact that this kind of possessive behavior from both of us was something I enjoyed.

I was progressively learning how to move around Itachi's traps, and Itachi was learning that I, too, had a few for him.

Itachi gauged me, placidly now, his own fingers slowly sliding against mine in a quiet acceptance - and deliverance - of affection. I watched his features, trying to read them but they had become subtly vague once more. "What is it that you want from this, Sasuke? What are we supposed to do?"

"If I knew, this wouldn't be so damn complicated," I said. "I know I want to be with you, close the distance between us and see how things will go for us while I'm here. I know you think I'm being impulsive and that I'm not thinking straight, but I'm aware that this can either go very well or end up in a very painful way."

"You can't be afraid of either if you're determined about wanting to be with me," Itachi said, fingers now surrounding mine and giving them an emphatical squeeze. "I can at least promise you that I will be with you no matter what, and that in the end, nothing will change the way I feel about you."

"I know."

Itachi's eyes rolled down to look at our hands again. "I won't ever ask you to break up with Naruto," he guaranteed. "I respect your feelings for him, and I understand that, at some point, you'll need to work on your own answers regarding him. But, he's like a brother to me, too, and I don't think he should be left in the dark, even if he knows a part of what's happening."

I licked at my lips, closing my eyes for a second. I wasn't ready to consider what I wanted to do in regards to Naruto because, truth was, I did care a lot about him in ways I wouldn't have considered just a few months previously, and it wasn't because I was having my chance with Itachi that this was going to change. It was too much of an emotional mess to sort out at the same time.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about him, or how I'm going to tell him about this," I confessed. "We don't even know what's going to happen between you and me."

"So, you're just going to keep him as a backup in case we screw up so you can go back to him?"

Again, my brother was using that tone that was a mixture between condescending and reproachful.

I frowned. "Don't you have your own backup?" I countered. "What would you have me do, Itachi?"

"In a perfect world, I would want you to throw caution to wind and give yourself to me without restraint." Itachi shifted a bit in his seat, both his elbows on the table now as he covered our linked hands with his free one, almost as if protecting the contact, preventing its end. "In this world, I just need you to fully understand that whatever we do has consequences, and that, no matter how much I want this, it will always come with a price, for both of us."

"I understand the consequences, and I know there will be a price to pay, but the question here is, do we want this enough to walk through the fire?" I inquired, leaning in over the table conspicuously. "Also, are you ready to open yourself up to me and stop seeing me as your little brother?"

Itachi paused. "I was always ready for you, Sasuke, and realizing it when we kissed was what was so daunting to me," he muttered, easily. "When it comes to us there are moral grounds that I'm stepping on that I don't expect you to understand."

"I understand that you're scared of losing your perfect composure because of me." I noticed that that stubborn strand of dark hair - oddly darker than mine - had already fallen to his face again. My eyes found his again, unfaltering. "You're scared of going too far, of hurting me beyond repair. You're a possessive bastard with fucked up issues to resolve when it comes to me and that twisted shit you're dealing with is making you go crazy because you have no control over your emotions. But you forget I have issues too, so unless we push them away together, we're not getting anywhere."

There was glint in his gaze, then, the ghost of a smirk appearing on his lips again. "And how do you expect we do that? Perhaps it's you who needs to change the way I see you."

"You said I was finally on your level, but apparently not."

"Not on every aspect, no," Itachi confirmed, softly. "I don't want to underestimate you."

When he leaned further in towards me and brought our hands so they were pressed to his lips - unmoving -, I felt my heart flutter, goosebumps making every hair in my body stand. It wasn't exactly a kiss, I noticed, just a kind, loving gesture that could be perceived in any way depending on what one was going for. Still, because of the situation we were in, it felt meaningful, a statement - no, a request.

"Then don't" I whispered, feeling my voice shaking slightly because that sort of intimacy tended to affect me coming from him. I cleared my throat. "And while you're at it, stop being afraid of yourself. I already told you I can handle you."

"We'll see about that," he said, lips brushing against my middle finger.

There was a moment of silence during which I simply watched his now relaxed features, wondering if this expression of his was another one of his intricate veils, or if he had, somehow, found some sort of hope, of comfort in this whole mess.

Impulsively - instinctively - I reached out and tucked the loose strand of his hair behind his ear with my free hand, purposefully making sure my fingers brushed the earlobe gently as they retracted. Itachi's eyes never left mine, unblinking and almost predatory.

"What are you doing?" he asked, voice coming out muffled from how close his mouth was to our joined hands.

"The perks of being your brother, I just realized, is that some stuff probably doesn't look as weird as it should" I replied softly, offering him a meaningful look. "So, I can do whatever the fuck I want, even here."

To my glee, he heaved a sigh, and this time it sounded relieved, close to content even. Openly, he pressed an obvious kiss to my fingers. "I would expect nothing less from you."

I didn't know how to assure him that I was going to give it my all, I didn't know how to apologize, but then again, neither did he. We could talk to each other all we wanted, but in the end, words would always be just words between us, even if they felt comforting to hear.

In the end, Itachi was a man of actions, and I would have to become one, as well, if I wanted to keep up, otherwise, for my sake – and probably his – he would be the one to push me away.

Right now, the only comforting thing we had was each other and the certainty that at least our feelings were there, conflicting and all over the place as they were.

I noticed that I had never had time, or the courage, to want to strip down all those layers that composed Itachi's persona. Because he had always been open, reachable to me, I had never felt the need to, arrogantly thinking that I knew enough, selfishly content with the thought that I had it all already, that there was nothing else.

Now, against all the odds, I found that I had much to learn, and I had been hopelessly naïve. There were sides of Itachi I still didn't know at all, and our relationship from now on would reflect that, or so I hoped.

I couldn't deny that I was curious about him in ways I hadn't been before. More than the infatuation I had for him and the love that bound us as brothers and individuals, there was something else underlying that, an uncontrollable itch that drove me to dig deeper, and it was new, intimidating, even, but also too strong to ignore.

Now I had to make sure that he became curious of me as well, and that he itched just as much.

Itachi didn't do things half-heartedly. Even if he said he was impulsive, even if he lost his shit, every action he took and every word he said had a meaning, and purpose – a means to an end – so I knew my brother was expecting something from me. What, I'd have to figure out myself, because he wasn't going to tell me.

It had been a game all along, even if we had both only been vaguely aware of it. It was still a game at that point, and we both had to play it to move on to the next level.

All I knew then was that I had to make my own move. I would show Itachi exactly who he was dealing with.

TBC…


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