Thank you to my reviewers: ReaderRabid2, krankykittie, kingphobes, mega700201, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, Royan Granger-Nott, and Freya Wrackspurt!
Sep 21, 1996
Mouth full of cotton and throat constricting, Hermione counted the seconds... ten, eleven, twelve…
Thaddeus' screaming was something inhuman. The horrid caterwaul echoed around the halls of the manor, disturbing every inch of her being, rattling the books on the shelf and seeming to shake the foundations. The horrible sound persisted, one unending spine-chilling wail that seemed to meld into forever.
Hermione was back at Malfoy Manor. Bellatrix had cast this on her. It was only the counting in her mind ( one, two, three, four seconds… ) that kept her mind from unraveling entirely, being lost forever. Like Neville's parents. She remembered her consciousness trying to be heard over her own noise, telling her she had to count. She had to keep her mind focused on something else. Counting was all she could do. She couldn't even have recalled her own name if someone asked it of her.
Thirteen.
She remembered feeling like every inch of her was on fire, how it would never end.
Fourteen.
She remembered the pain of it, though she couldn't think of any close equivalent to it now for it all paled to the actual feeling.
Fifteen .
She remembered how she'd tried not to scream, knowing that Harry and Ron would hear it and be horrified downstairs because you see she just had to be strong.
Sixteen.
She remembered the inky black tile floor, Mr. Malfoy's squeaky clean shoes as they looked on at the show before them. She remembered being surprised that his floors weren't red with blood, even though the cruciatus didn't leave any wounds, she thought that something of this magnitude of pain should have her bleeding out from every inch of her, blood oozing from her pores or dripping from her eyes.
Seventeen.
She was back there for it all. In a handful of seconds, far under a minute, Hermione had been thrown back to the Manor and she felt her body quivered as she relieved each second in real-time, as though her bones ached from the moment still.
She never thought she'd feel sorry for Mr Nott, and she didn't now, but she felt his torture so acutely, so horribly familiar that she felt like she'd been struck by lightning.
Back in the library of Mr Nott, Hermione gripped her arms so hard that her nails made little bloody half-moons upon her lightly tanned skin.
Theo did not seem that he was going to stop. Casting a cruciatus was an odious undertaking, but to hold it for nearly twenty seconds? He was closer to a monstrous creation right now than humans.
He had the strangest expression, of a man equally gutted and furious all at the same time, as he twisted the wand with a cool detachment, staring down at his convulsing father. She could tell the strain was getting to him; his arms were shaking, his forehead was perspiring, and his chest was heaving, but all these things were near imperceptible.
Hermione gripped her hair, shrinking down as Thaddeus' screams became hoarse and nearly breathless, as she watched his body flop around like a fish, no control of himself anymore.
Something stirred in her stomach and before she could stop it, she was retching up bile onto the carpet.
This had to stop.
"Stop it!" Hermione demanded, but she could hardly be heard over the yelling and the begging, "I said stop it!"
Theo either did not hear or did not listen. Hermione grasped her wand from her pocket, her finger shaking. Her palms were sweaty and she feared she wouldn't be able to cast anything at all.
"I said stop it!" Hermione cried over both of them, slamming her arms down. Something burst forth from her wand, sending Theo and his father back in different directions. She couldn't have vocalized what spell she used, or even that she thought about using it, but it was something mighty powerful.
Thaddeus moaned on the ground, blood dripping from his nose and all over his chin. On his way down, he'd slammed his head into the side of the chair. Hermione had heard the crack, like someone stepping on a branch in the forest. He was blubbering, his eyes hazy from the pain and staring at Theo with a fearful expression. For as great of a Death Eater he may have been, he was just an old man now. Nearly ancient, Hermione reminded herself. She shuddered to think about how much agony he'd brought about in his seventy-odd years of life, but now he was a quaking shell of who he once was. Hermione had little pity for him, but she didn't condone this either.
Theo groaned, wincing as he picked himself up from the floor.
"I wasn't fine with it, but I said we could do that not this!" Hermione hissed at him, dragging him up by his collar, "You sadist!"
"He deserves it," Theo snapped, trying to wretch from Hermione's grasp, "He bloody well deserves it! He killed my mother, he would have killed me too. He's a monster!"
"I'm not disagreeing, but this is too far, Theo!" She said.
"Theo?" Came Thaddeus' airy, confused voice from the corner, "That's...that's the name of my boy. Theodore...I picked it out…" He echoed, his mind dissolving from the prolonged torture. He seemed not all together anymore.
"You've done enough of that," Hermione said harshly, "Be done with it now. Do what we came to do." When Theo just stared past Hermione with that darkness still shining in his eyes, Hermione pressed softly on his chest, "I know how badly you want to. I know. But please, Theo…"
Theo tore his eyes away, looking down.
"He made my entire life hell, Mi," He whispered brokenly, "And nothing was ever done of it. If he dies, it ends. And he'll never...he doesn't get that...the pain that he put me through, my mum…."
"I know, I know," Hermione whispered. She had felt the desire clawing at her stomach more than once to do awful things to people. To Bellatrix. To Dolohov. To Umbridge. She wished she could be as sure of her cause as others, not as drawn to the darkness. She hoped Theo understood she wasn't coming from a place high above, someone who had never dipped their toes into this darkness, but as a person who had and still turned away, "But we have a bigger plan. You've nearly destroyed any sanity he had left anyway. We have a purpose. We'll right other wrongs. If we stay here too long... if we draw this out…"
Theo suddenly looked ashamed, "You're right. Fucking hell," He said, running his fingers through his hair, "You don't know how badly I want to."
"I do," Hermione said, letting him pass. She knew that he would not use the cruciatus again, for now, he seemed settled in his resolve.
Theo knelt down next to his father. Thaddeus' fingers were crawling and his lips moved like he tried to say something but couldn't quite get the words out. Theo saw that he was going to touch his Dark Mark and Theo pressed his boot onto his hand. Hermione heard the crunching of fingers and looked to the ceiling, wishing she were not so revolted by this. Broken bones were hardly consequential compared to the torture she had felt.
"I don't think so," Theo said, looking repulsed at the Mark, "You do realize it's over, don't you Thaddy?"
A tiny shimmer crossed Thaddeus' face. As he spoke, it took great effort, "That's...what Theo, my son, used to call me when he was young...wretched nickname, but-,"
Theo leaned in, baring his teeth into an evil grin like a wolf next to a rabbit. He murmured a spell with his own wand that Hermione did not recognize, but it pulled back the enchantment of the potion, like someone peeling away a piece of tape from a surface. It seemed to take a great effort to hold it, a glimmering light purple light that emanated around Theo, showing his true self.
"I did call you that, until I realized you were never going to love me anyway, no matter how much I loved you or tried to," Theo informed him, chuckling darkly. Thaddeus made a gasping noise, something like a cough deep in his throat as he stared uncomprehendingly at Theo, "It worked, your time-turner theorem. The equation you wrote before I was born was nearly flawless, just needed a little tweaking."
"Devil...boy…"
"I should be offended, but I rather think it's true. Here I am, coming back to punish you for your sins. You have quite a lot, don't you, father?" Theo said, almost innocently.
"Theo," Hermione said with a long sigh. He could be dreadfully dramatic at the very worst of times. Theo glanced up.
"Ah, yes, Hermione, won't come into the light here?" He asked. Hermione took one hesitant step forward, but it was close enough for Theo to pull her under the umbrella of the enchantment too, washing away Emilia's face momentarily, "Yes, Hermione Granger. Golden Girl to Harry Potter. Well, I guess I should rather say, Hermione Nott."
Thaddeus began to make little puffs of sound, something offended and deeply disturbed. Hermione scowled; after all of that, he was most upset about the marriage? Well, it's not like Hermione had any hope that he was a good person underneath it all.
"Yes, your daughter-in-law is a muggle-born. Your progeny will be half-bloods. Think about that on your trip downstairs. We both know you're not going up," Theo guffawed, stepping back. The enchantment snapped away, and Hermione felt the faintest feeling of their fake-faces falling over them again.
Theo switched his hands, using his father's wand. He handed his own wand to Hermione, as though afraid he'd be tempted to do something with it. Hermione held it fast, clinking against her own wand in her fist.
"I hope it brings you great pain that the last thing you saw and thought about was your son and Hermione being part of our unhappy little family. I'd say I'd miss you, but we'd both know I'm lying," Theo said, training his wand at his dad. His fingers were clasped gently, his arm did not even quiver, " Avada Kedavra."
The light died from Thaddeus' eyes immediately. Theo looked at the wand before setting it aside carefully, with more reverence than he'd ever given his father.
Hermione stared at the slack body on the ground. She'd just been complicit in a murder. She felt all kinds of funny about that, as much as she did agree that he had to die.
"What now?" Hermione asked, her voice way more uneven than she intended.
"Twitzel?" Theo called, tilting his head as he summoned the house elf. The little thing popped into the room, looking around in confusion for who was able to summon her. Her eyes landed on Thaddeus' body for only a second, her eyes widening in realization.
Then, she looked at Bash.
Theo got on his knees in front of her and Twitzel reached out, placing her hand to his forehead. Like disturbing a reflection in a pond, his mask rippled and revealed his true self.
"Twitzel knew you seemed familiar, Twiztel wondered…" She said quietly, looking entirely at Theo, "Little Master is not so little."
"Not much, no," Theo said in a stark kindness to how he'd just been. Twitzel furrowed her mostly-hairless eyebrows examining Theo with a carefulness that a mother might look over her children.
"Dark magic, I can feel it. You have used something very powerful and forbidden to return."
"I suppose I have." Theo murmured. He undid his tie carefully, "It's about time." He said, offering it to her. Hermione watched as the little elf completely broke into tears over the necktie, sobbing loudly into it.
"Master Theo! I never imagined...I did not…Sir!"
"It's not safe to stay here. You are free now." Theo said, standing up.
Twitzel was still blubbering, "Twitzel does not know where to go!" She protested.
"To Hogwarts. Dobby and Winky will no doubt be glad to have you," Hermione broke in, as she watched this interaction. For as dark as Theo was, there were moments he was unquestionably light. He was one of the grayest people she'd ever met, something she hadn't seen much while fighting just for the light side. He'd mentioned something along those lines, that this is what they were to become. The balance of it all.
"Can Twitzel come with you? Oh please, Master!" Twitzel said, hugging Theo's leg.
"We can't bring her back," Hermione muttered, shaking her head, "Theo…"
"She pretty much raised me. She's very attached, Granger," Theo said, patting her head, "It might be for the best anyway. I've severed her fealty to this house, so that if the younger me tries to summon her it won't work, but if she sticks around Voldy might find her anyway. Make her speak. Torture her. If she hides out with us, a Castle Drake, she's for sure safe."
Hermione huffed, realizing he had a good point.
"Fine! But she'll have to have a salary," Hermione announced, "Err, it doesn't have to be money, but we have to pay her something. It will just be like before, otherwise."
Theo was grinning at Hermione like she was delightful, a weird look of admiration on his face.
"Mistress is the one who tried to free many elves two years ago, isn't she," Twitzel said, narrowing her bulbous eyes. It seemed like so long ago, but in this time, it had only been two years ago Hermione had started S.P.E.W, hadn't it?
"I'm with her," Theo said, inclining his head toward Hermione. Her heart warmed at his support, "And also, you'll only stay with us until the younger Theo comes of age. By then, it will be safer for you. Plus, Merlin knows he'll need you more than I do. He's an orphan now," Theo murmured, his face changing a little, as though he was for the first time realizing this himself.
"Twitzel can agree to that. Oh, thank you Master Nott! You are exactly the man your mother wished you to be!" She said.
"Strengthen the wards so no one can get in. Gather anything you need or want. We'll all leave together soon," Theo announced and she popped away again.
"You're an orphan too, you're just as lonely," Hermione pointed out, reaching for his arm as he passed by her to exit the room. She caught his sleeve and he just paused, looking at her with a half-lightened expression.
"I have you, though, don't I?" Theo asked, tilting his head, "Sure, younger me has Draco and my friends but it's not quite the same. For better or worse, whether we meant it or not, we made a family of sorts." He said. Hermione inhaled deeply, nodding.
"You're right, you do have me." She looked at Thaddeus, "Will He...know?"
"That he's dead? I think so, which means we'll have to be quick about it. The way Draco described it was that it was as though the Dark Lord is holding a fistful of strings, each attached to a Death Eater. When he wants them, he tugs on it. He probably won't know he's been tortured, he can't have felt that, but he'll feel the absence, like the string dissolved in his palm." Something struck Theo's face suddenly, "Remember that!" He said excitedly, something connecting deep in his mind. For as intelligent as Hermione was, she couldn't for the life of her understand what was so significant about it.
"Remember what?" She asked, but Theo had moved on.
He was going through the library shelves, throwing books haphazardly at Hermione.
"Start shrinking and lightening. We're going to raid this place." He said, "I'll grab, you pack. With the wards up and stronger thanks to elf magic, we'll have about half-an-hour before we gotta be gone."
Hermione didn't question, she just followed Theo as he frantically shoved things toward her. She considered that perhaps they should have one this first, tied up Thaddeus and killed him at the end. Oh well, it was their first...expedition. There were bound to be some mistakes and things learned.
"You're free to take anything that catches your fancy. Younger me will be set with Gringotts, so don't worry about taking anything from him. But, since we are married, you are entitled to literally all of this too." He said simply. Her first instinct was to tell Theo she doubted there'd be anything here she found worth taking until she realized that the Notts had collected quite a lot of historic and ancient artifacts, muggle included, which lined the halls like Christmas decorations. Theo passed them right on by, so Hermione decided to take some. For posterity (and a little, to say a general 'fuck you' to Thaddeus Nott).
Theo moved decisively, zig-zagging them through the halls of the house. It was obvious he had a very good idea of what he would take long before they arrived, for he picked up with a confidence that never faltered. Even though it seemed like an endless maze and Hermione lost count of how many rooms Theo had pulled her through, she was sure it was bigger than all of this entirely still. There was one room Theo would not let her in, and while she wasn't sure, she had a feeling it was his father's bedroom. For the best, probably, and he was only there for the briefest of seconds.
The last place was Theo's room.
Hermione hadn't given thought to seeing Theo's childhood bedroom. He was so far removed from who he'd been during Hogwarts that it seemed like a stranger's room, but she couldn't help but watch him busy around it anyway. Gray, mostly. Dreadfully dull colors. A few Quidditch posters hanging from the walls- she remembered he'd been on the Quidditch team starting fifth year- and a sexy pin-up witch that winked and blew a kiss toward Hermione. By all accounts, none too different from Ron's room. Boys were boys no matter the circumstances, sometimes.
Theo took the most from his own room, grasping and throwing toward Hermione nearly too fast for her to do her wandwork. She was thankful that her weightless and shrinking charms were two of her best, otherwise, this would be an incredibly difficult trip home.
At long last, just about when there was something pressing against the wards (which Hermione strangely realized she was connected to now, as she was a Nott by the most magical of means) alerting the pair of the presence of others.
"We gotta go," Hermione said frantically. Theo nodded, calling Twitzel and grasping one last wide scoop of things from his desk and popped them to the back lawn. The day was starting to wean, the sun setting behind the tree line.
Theo dumped the armful of things at Hermione's feet.
"I'll be back!" He said over his shoulder.
"Theo, what are you doing?" Hermione asked, reaching out and grabbing his shirt.
"I'm going to drag my father into his workroom, lock the doors. Set a fire. Burn his body, making it seem like a bad accident. Don't want Voldy digging through his body and finding anything he shouldn't."
"Theo! No!" Hermione cried, but it was too late. Theo and Twitzel popped away, back into the house, leaving Hermione alone on the grass.
