Title: The Masks We Wear
Warnings for typical Tokyo Ghoul stuff
Disclaimers: I do not own Tokyo ghoul, any music or other anime mentioned.
Notes: Sorry completely forgot about something I put in the summary last chapter! Will be fixing that this chapter.
Song Choice: All is found from Frozen 2
Summary: While dragging Tooru back to Haise, Hikari catches a glimpse of someone she thought was dead. Leaving Tooru with Saiko, Hikari follows this person behind the club. What Hikari hoped to find was not quite what she gets. Hikari struggles with the prospect that this person is alive and her encounter with them. The prep for the coming auction raid, and the stress from the encounter pile on Hikari. Will it be enough to make her snap?
"Regular Talk"
'Thoughts'
phone calls and texts
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Hikari's POV
"You're getting heavy, Tooru. You need to lay off the # Ramune, sis" I say and help Tooru towards where Haise is. "I *hiccups* love you, sis" Tooru says drunkly. I sigh. "I love you too, Tooru." I say and then freeze. Right in front of me...is my mother. I wouldn't believe it, but...but her smell is exactly as I remember with a hint of...Yoshimura? She turns my way and our eyes meet. Her eyes narrow and she starts to leave. I manage to find Saiko and leave Tooru with her so I can follow my mother. 'How can she be...I saw her body...' I think pushing my way through the crowd. My mother slips out the backdoor and I quickly follow her into the alley. "Mom!" I call out to her and she stops. "You fucking brat. You should have stayed in the club with your friend." She says turning around, her left eye like a ghoul's and it starts to sink in.
"Mom...I don't understand...why did you leave me?" I ask clenching my fists. My mother doesn't answer for a moment before laughing. "What's so damn funny?" I say now angry. She soon stops laughing. "Why, you are. After all this time, you still don't understand. I never loved you, Hikari. You...You were just holding me back. After Yomo left, I realised that I was too weak. That's why he left me. Then, I found out I was pregnant with you. If I had only known how much you would take from me, I would have let you die in my womb" My Mother says as her Rinkaku forms. 'This...this isn't my mother anymore. This bitch is not her.' I think managing to block her with my Ukaku. Even as I think that, I can't help but see her as she was. My mother...always smiling...always happy...or was she?
A sharp pain in my side brings me back to reality and I manage to avoid the next attack only barely. I feel my blood flow down my right side. 'Idiot...if you really wanted to stop me, you should have taken out my Kakuhou' I think. I attack with my Ukaku, only for it to be blocked. When the smoke from the explosions clears, Sasayai Shi is standing between me and my mother. "Tsuki, I do believe I told you to stay out of trouble." Sasayai Shi says his voice still as cold as ever. 'Smug bastard' I think to myself. "I tried, but the little bitch followed me." My mo-no, Tsuki says. "I will not fight you, Hikari, but listen well, I will not show mercy a second time if you come near my wife again." Sasayai Shi says and they both vanish. I fall to my knees and start to cry. "Hikari!" I hear Haise yell as he and the others rush out of the club to me. Apparently, Tooru has sobered up some as she grabs my shoulders and looks at me face to face.
"Hikari, are you alright?" Tooru asks. I want to answer, but I don't know how. 'Am I alright...no...no...I'm not' I think but manage to put a smile on my face. "Yeah, I'll be alright. A blood Ghoul got the drop on me, but it fled rather quickly." I say and she nods helping me up. "You're hurt" Haise points out looking at my side. I wave him off. "It's already taken care of. My regeneration abilities already healed the damage." I say. Haise looks at me like he knows I'm not telling the whole truth, but nods. "Anyways, Tooru and I made contact with the Nutcracker. She invited us both to a party this weekend, but I'm sure it's a trap." I say and he nods. "Let's get back home and get some rest. We can report tomorrow when everyone is completely sober" Haise says and I nod. I secretly hope that would be the end of the discussion over what happened in the alleyway.
After almost everyone is in bed, however, that wasn't the case. "Thought I would find you up here, Kari" Haise says jumping onto the roof. "Yeah...I...I have a lot on my mind" I say as Haise sits beside me. "I could tell. Something rattled you pretty bad in that alleyway earlier." Haise says. I sigh. 'Always so perceptive, even now Kaneki' I think to myself. "Hikari, what really happened? Saiko said you dumped a drunk Tooru on her and ran out the back exit of the club." He says. I hug my knees, trying to fight back the tears threatening to fall again. "I...I saw my mother..." I say, my voice shaky. "Didn't you say she was killed by a ghoul before the peace laws?" Haise asks and I nod. "That's what I thought...but...I only saw body parts being put in a bag. Her smell...I was so sure it was her, Haise." I say and start to cry.
I feel Haise gently rub my back. "I...I should have seen the signs...but I was so young, Haise. I only saw what any child wants to see...her loving mother...thinking back now, I can see it. That look of haterd, of disgust. She never truly loved me...but why try to prepare me for the world? Why not just let me die?" I say as I cry. "I can only guess that a small part of her did care enough to give you the chance to survive on your own. I don't have any kids, even though I feel like a father to our squad. There's nothing I can really say to make you feel any better, Kari. All I can say is not to look at her as the same woman that raised you, but someone entirely different. That way you can still hold on to the good memories. Did anything else happen?" Haise asks and I nod. "When I was about to kill her...Sasayai Shi shielded her...he called her his wife, Haise" I say. Haise frowns. "So, after all this time, he made an appearance." Haise says and I nod. "This is troubling. We should report this as well tomorrow." Haise says.
"I don't think he cares about the Auction" I say. "What makes you say that?" Haise says looking at me as I dry my eyes. "If it wasn't his wife I was fighting, I doubt he would have shown himself at all. Sasayai Shi is a careful foe. He does nothing by accident...It's as if he wanted me to see my mother again...DAMMIT!" I yell making Haise jump. "H-Hikari?" Haise says a little worried. I growl a little but manage to keep calm. "That smug bastard knew that seeing her would do this to me...he knew it would hurt me..." I say and Haise sighs and nods. "But now we know that there's another player on the board" Haise points out and I nod. "One he holds dear...his humanity" I say with a yawn. "Get some rest. we'll discuss this at the meeting tomorrow" Haise says and I nod. I get up and go to the edge of the roof near my bedroom window. "And Haise?" I say with a cold look making Haise freeze. "Y-y-yeah, Hikari?" Haise says a little scared. "You go into my bathroom without my permission again, and you will know what it's like to piss like a woman" I say and go into my window. "That woman scares me..." Haise says. 'She didn't always...' The voice in his head replies.
In the morning, I go downstairs to see Tooru nursing a hangover. "Hey" I say and she winces. "Not so loud...Damn I feel like Saiko hit me with her quinque." Tooru says and I smile. "At least you didn't flirt with a barstool this time" I say making her groan as I get her pain meds and orange juice. "Are you ever going to let me live that down?" She asks and takes the meds. "Not a chance, anyways, thanks to your drunken state, we made contact with Nutcracker." I say and Tooru brightens up a little. "Really?" She asks and finishes her orange juice. "Yup, you flirted with her, and I got to play the responsible big sister. She invited us both to a party this saturday. If I am correct, the party is a trap to take us to auction. A perfect chance to get inside." I say. "True, but I can't even use my Kagune right now. It hasn't awakened yet." Tooru points out.
"That's why I'm going to ask Juuzou to join us to the party. I'm sure that Nutcracker won't mind an extra goodie to sell, and we have someone experienced besides myself there" I say easing Tooru's fears. Haise soon comes down with the others...well, Ginshi is dragging a still sleeping, but dressed Saiko. I giggle at the sight. "I see you're feeling better, Hikari" Haise says and I nod. "Yeah, some rest was all I needed. Completely healed up" I say confusing urie and Ginshi. "Kari, did you get hurt?" Ginshi asks. "Everything will be explained at the meeting." I say and get started on making breakfast. They sit down as I work. Haise soon joins me to help with the cooking. "...Reminds me of old times...when we cooked at Hide's place" Haise says. "Haise?" I say a little surprised. "I can't remember a lot, but...the good times...they're starting to come back a little." He says making me smile softly. "It's progress." I say and he nods.
Soon, breakfast is ate and we head to Headquarters. "Well, if it isn't Little Kari" Kureo Mado says as we come into the lobby. I smile. "I'm not so little anymore, Kureo" I say and hug him. "I know, but it stuck. How is young Hineki?" He asks. I wave Haise and the others on, promising not to be too long. "He's doing well. He's already walking and talking." I say. Kureo nods. "To be expected from your and Hideyoshi's child. Has his kagune formed yet?" He asks. "No, we don't even know if it ever will. He is only a quarter ghoul, after all." I say and he nods."It is entirely possible that he's human enough not to have a Kakuhou at all" Kureo says and I nod. "There's actually something I wanted to ask you" I say perking Kureo's interest. "Oh? And what may that be?" He asks. I swallow hard. "When you investigated my mother's death, did you have the body examined?" I ask. "That is a strange question, but no. Since you identified the body, we didn't see the need at the time. Why?" Kureo asks.
"Because my mother attacked me last night..." I say surprising Kureo. "That shouldn't be possible...unless.." Kureo says. "Unless she faked her own death. The only reason I thought the body was my mother was due to the smell, but you know that ghoul senses can be tricked." I say and he nods. "Did it several times in the past to draw ghoul families out of hiding." He says sadly. "I will dig up the file and see what I can find" Kureo says and I nod. "Thanks, Kureo" I say and head up to the meeting room. I meet juuzou in the elevator. "Hiya, Kari!" Juuzou says, making me smile from his infectious happiness. "Hi Juuzou." I say. "How did the mission go last night? Did you have fun?" Juuzou asks completely reminding me of Eto. 'Mental note not to get trapped in the same room with Juuzou and Eto, don't know if my pride can take it' I think. 'What pride? You lost that when Hide pounded you on the meeting room table' The voice says with a snicker. 'Shut up' I reply. "Umm earth to Kari?" Juuzou says snapping me out of my thoughts. "Sorry, Juuzou, just a lot on my mind lately." I say and he nods. "We managed to attract Nutcracker. She showed interest in Tooru and myself, but I would feel a bit better if you came with us" I say and he nods. "I'll see to it then" Juuzou says as we exit the elevator.
Coming into the meeting room, we find it empty. "Ok...did we miss the meeting?" I say. "The meeting has been moved to the Special operations room" Hanbee Abara says coming up. "Huh, what for?" Juuzou asks. "Because some information reguarding Aogiri Tree came to light last night. We can't fit everyone in our meeting room" Abara says and Juuzou nods as we follow him. "Nagachika, Suzuya, You two are late" Koori Ui says, his eyes narrowing. 'What an asshole' I think. "Apologies, we did not know the meeting had been moved." I say managing not to blush at the realization that Koori is sitting where Hide fucked me. He nods. "Then, I guess, it is understandable. On to more important matters, I heard the investigation last night bore some unexpected fruit" Shiki Kijima says making me shiver involuterily. 'Kureo, i can forgive, but never this monster' I think as I take my seat.
Kijima, not missing the shudder, bows his head. "Apologies, Mrs Nagachika, I do not mean to make you uncomfortable." He says. "It's fine, Kijima. You have that effect on ghouls, blood or not. I am no exception. Anyways, Yes, we did come across something of importance in reguards to Aogiri Tree. However, please allow me to explain the whole night's events before you ask questions...I...I don't know if I can repeat myself...the encounter last night was not an easy one for me." I say my knuckles white as I grip my skirt. Tears threaten to fall again, but Haise's hand on my back reassures me that I can do this. "In fact...It would be best if I started even further back...as it pertains to my own history. I'm sure that by now, most of you know who The Priest is and what he did." I say and everyone nods. "His killing started long before his capture...I know this due to the fact that I was two years old when he was captured and my mother, Tsuki Amon took residence with him. As everyone knows, in order for a half ghoul child to live in the womb of a human mother, the mother must consume human flesh, lest the child die in the womb." I say looking at my hands again.
"During this time, however, my mother grew the taste for human flesh. I would not find this out until much later. Now, you are probably wondering what my personal history would have to do with last night's events. It has a lot to do with it. For a long time, I believed that my mother was dead, killed by a ghoul long before I joined the CCG. Believing the body was her, due to her unique smell, the body was never examined. Now, to last night..." I say as tears fall without my own accord. "It's alright, Kari, take your time." Arima says and I nod. "Last night, Haise, saiko, Tooru, and I all went to a club where Nutcracker was known to visit all posed as young women. In short, Tooru and I were able to catch her eye. After making contact, I was taking Tooru to where Haise was lingering when I saw someone I thought was long dead...my own mother. Her scent was a little different, but there was no mistaking it." I say and take a drink of water.
"Leaving Tooru with Saiko, I followed her out the back of the club. It was then...It was then that I found out that my mother had become an artifical one eye ghoul and the wife of Sasayai Shi. He didn't attack, but warned me not to come near his wife again. Haise and the others found me shortly afterwards." I finish. "Seems to be more to it than that" Kijima says. Haise looks at him. "All Hikari's life, her mother was a kind, protective, and loving person. The person that greeted Hikari last night was nothing like that. She took everything Hikari thought of her and tore it apart. From what Hikari told me, Tsuki Amon, which her original name, Told her to her face that she should have never existed. not even you, kijima, can tell me that you would not be affected being told that by your own parent" Haise says. "No...I cannot." Kijima agrees. "Though...I strongly believe that it wasn't Sasayai Shi's intention to interupt our investigation of Nutcracker and the auction" I say managing to calm myself.
"How so?" Arima asks. "Those of us that have faced Sasayai Shi in battle before know that he does nothing by accident. He intended for me to meet my mother last night...he knew how it would affect me...affect my father should he find out. My father loved my mother, but feared his own lack of control at the time. That is why he did not raise me, besides not knowing I existed. Looking back, I'm starting to see the threads of herself coming undone through my upbringing. A look of hate or disgust when she didn't think I would see...Her staying gone for long hours claiming it was work. Although, a very small part did care because I am not dead" I say and Kijima nods. "Psychological torment is as effective if not more effective than pyhsical force from time to time. It stands to reason that Sasayai Shi would utilize it against Nagachika given she is his biggest weakness. A fallen Caladrius is weak to a normal Caladrius, is what I believe you said in your reports, Nagachika." Kijima says taking my mind away from my mother and helping me see what is being done. 'maybe...he isn't so bad' I think. "Indeed...Haise and I came to that conclusion last night. There's something else. In reguard to the wellbeing of our ally, Yoshimura, the Non-Killing Owl...he is alive." I say.
"Are you absolutely certain of this?" Yoshitoki asks and I nod. "Some time ago, Haise and I discussed the recent flux in one eye ghouls. Eto informed us that Investigator Takizawa...has been made into a one eye ghoul, but has gone insane. If we can manage to capture him, it's possible he can be saved. There are also reports of a large cloaked man protecting humans and innocent ghouls alike. The body structure matches that of Investigator Amon. This leads us to believe that he too was changed. However, Amon seems to have held onto his sense of justice. With the influx of artifical ghouls, we have to assume they are getting kokuhous from somewhere." I say and take a drink of water. "So, you believe that whoever is creating these artificial ghouls is keeping Yoshimura alive for his Kokuhou?" Arima asks and I nod. "As most of us know, Ghouls can heal from anything given time and rest. Yoshimura is a very powerful ghoul in his own right. Ghouls know, like we do, the stronger the ghoul, the more powerful the weapon created from said ghoul." I say taking another drink of water.
"It also goes without saying that most ghouls made artificially use kagune similar to those who's kokuhou they possess. Like how Haise possesses the same kagune of the binge eater, Rize. There are afew exceptions where the person's personality comes into play, but it is relatively easy to trace the lineage of an artifical ghoul's kagune." Abara says and we nod. "Now that we have discussed the matters involving Aogiri Tree, onto the Nutcracker case." Koori says. "I believe that we will do well with Nagachika and Mutsuki taking the lead in this." Koori continues. "I will have to disagree, Ui. I have not done much fighting in the past two years, and Mutsuki cannot call out his kagune yet. It would be a very poor choice to send us in without someone with more recent battle experience. Neither Mutsuki will be able to utilize quinques either. So, Mutsuki will be going in without a weapon at all." I say. 'He really wants to get us killed, doesn't he?' I think.
"I would have to agree with Nagachika. Even with their increased strength and durability, without a kagune or having used one for such a long time is not very effective against a whole hoard of Blood Ghouls." Kijima says making Ui back down a little. 'Ok...maybe I can work with this guy' I think. "If you are worried, I can go with them" Juuzou says. "I can easily hide weapons and I'm pretty skilled in battle. That, and I'm quite a catch to someone like Nutcracker." Juuzou says making the others nod. "Then it is settled, Juuzou, you, Hikari, and Tooru will meet up with Nutcracker. We will follow behind and raid the auction." Ui says and we nod. "Take the time you have to brush up on your fighting skills and gather your strength." Arima says and we nod. The meeting soon concludes and I am about to leave. "Nagachika, a word?" Kijima asks and I nod coming over.
"I admire your courage. Not many can speak against one they hold so dear. Much of what you said makes sense, and I can see why so many respect you as a ghoul." Kijima says. I look at him a little sceptical of him. "You study the information you receive very critically and come out with detailed conclusions." Kijima says and I don't know if I should be flattered or embarassed. "I was raised to be cautious and to think before jumping in head first into a situation. One wrong choice on my part can cause the loss of many lives." I say and he nods. "Very true. I guess it's a burden that not many can handle. However, I expect great things of you, Nagachika." He says and tips his hat before he leaves. I watch him leave before I jump feeling a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry, didn't mean to surprise you, Kari" Arima says.
"It's fine, Arima. Did you need something?" I ask. "I wanted to ask how Haise is coming along with his memory" He says. I take notice that Haise and the others have already left. "Haise said this morning that some of his better memories are returning while we were making breakfast together." I say and Arima nods. "Ayato has made his way back into Aogiri Tree. He reports that Aogiri may attack the auction on princible alone. You should be careful." Arima says and kisses my hand gently. "Ummm yeah, I will be sure to do that, Arima" I say and go feeling uncomfrotable by Arima's actions. 'he's just being friendly' the voice says. 'A little too friendly' I reply.
To be continued...
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Notes: Yeah, I was planning on going throught the auction raid this chapter, but this chapter was getting long. lol
