Note:
I edited this chapter right after i posted it, there are mostly grammar changes.
Sorry for the slight posting delay. In this chapter, I know it is weird to believe, but I honestly felt like the character's whose POV this is in literally took over as I had my chapter planned in my mind, this came out instead. I really hope you all like it. And this is not the end, trust me. Please enjoy and be safe and healthy
Chapter 20
Emma
"What are you talking about?" I asked as I stared up at my husband. "What sacrifice?"
I couldn't believe that I had been in a coma for most of the day. I averted my gaze to Hope, who was staring at me adoringly. She moved her mouth, forming a smile and wiggled her arms around and managed to brush arm against mine. She rested her hand against my side. She turned her body slightly so that she was cuddled up against me. I was entranced by her, watching her. I had never literally had this with Henry, so holding my own baby was fascinating. I grinned down at her.
Killian rubbed my shoulder affectionately and took my hand, our fingers intertwined. He flashed me an embarrassed smile, which was more lopsided and uncertain.
His eyes were full of compassion and relief. He was such an emotional man. He seemed like he had been terrified and now finally realized he had a second chance with our marriage. Me, on the other hand, I felt like I had smacked my head hard, yes, it was excruciating, but it was like I had been asleep for a few minutes.
Henry was at my other side.
Killian opened his mouth to speak, just when Snow practically flew inside with a bottle and cried, "Oh Emma you're awake!" She threw her arms around me, leaning around Henry awkwardly, bottle in hand. She squeezed me hard, for a long time until it was a bit awkward.
She sniffled and sighed. "We were so scared you wouldn't wake. Not even Hook's kiss worked. We had no idea what spell or coma we were dealing with. Kisses normally work for comas too."
I looked at my husband, who had an even more humiliated expression. He blinked his eyes as if feeling awkward and replied softly, "How are you feeling, Love?" He gently stroked my arm and leaned in to get closer to me. He smiled at me with love in his eyes.
"I'm fine," I said with a soft laugh. "I just got knocked out. Guess it was my turn." I lifted my hands a little to indicate where I was. My arm itched as I moved from the IV. I winced and held Killian's stare.
Killian replied, "Thank you for risking yourself and saving me." He leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back tenderly and smiled up at him. I lifted my hand gingerly and touched his face.
"How much time do we have?" I asked urgently with dread.
"About two hours," Killian replied gravely. "Although I hate to put you through a spell which will require strength and traveling."
Reminded of Neal, I glanced around the room. Everyone except Neal was present.
David said, "This will probably be our only chance to get home, I hate to say it. Emma how do you feel about tonight? Honestly?" He stared at me warmly.
I looked down at Hope. She started to wriggle and fuss as she stared at me.
Henry asked, "Want me to feed her?"
I smirked at him and nodded. He carefully slid his hands underneath her and lifted her as he sat back in the chair next to my hospital bed.
Just then a nurse came in and exclaimed in a perky high tone, "You're awake! Congratulations. I just need to check your vitals." She noted the readings on my heart monitor and then checked the IV level. "Sorry I didn't realize that you were awake. How do you feel? Vision blurry?"
I shook my head. "No, I feel normal actually."
The nurse replied, "Do feel nauseous at all? Feel like you'll throw up?"
"No," I replied.
The nurse smiled. "Can I get you your dinner? It's actually mealtime."
I nodded in appreciation. "I am hungry."
"Cheeseburgers on the menu, with sweet potato fries and mixed veggies," she said.
"That's exactly what I'm craving," I replied.
She left the room with a gleeful smile.
I turned to Killian. "So, what were you saying about sacrifice?"
Killian seemed deflated. He glanced downward and said, "We tried a couple things. I wanted to try everything for you. Neal, he offered to try to kiss you." He hesitated and gave me a knowing, grim look. "I let him. For you. Just to rule it out, just in case it worked."
I frowned, astonished. I raised my eyebrows. "So, you're saying it worked?"
Killian exhaled. "No, it didn't. He kissed you before you awoke. Then left the room."
I processed that for a few moments and blinked, stupefied. I never thought Hook would allow this in his right mind. I watched my nurse, dressed in light lavender scrubs reached to gently change my IV out. She replaced it. Another person in scrubs brought in my tray with a large plastic dark purple lid over it. It smelled wonderful, like grilled burger and cheese and spices. I lifted my brow higher at Killian. When both nurses were gone, I said, "That was very selfless of you." I lifted my tray and picked up a sweet potato fry and ate it quickly. My stomach churned and growled in acceptance.
Killian seemed bashful but also regretful. "I would do anything for you, Swan. You must know that." He nodded once in confirmation.
I took a huge bite out of my burger.
"You seem like yourself," Snow chirped.
"So where is…Neal?" I asked, rather uncomfortable for Killian to ask this, but I wanted to know.
Henry said, "I don't know, want me to ask him?" He was still holding Hope in one arm and the baby formula bottle in the other for my daughter. Hope was staring at him. He added helpfully, "I can call him after I am done feeding her?"
I nodded. "That would be helpful. Thanks." I felt like Killian staring at me longingly. When I met his eyes, he seemed like he was still worried in a way. He concealed his concerned look with a smile.
He said, "So how do you feel about doing this ritual tonight, Swan?
"I'm up for it. I think we should not waste this opportunity."
"You're sure?" asked Killian with one brow arched. His fingers massaged mine. I returned the touches and ran my thumb over the front of his hand.
"Yes. I feel fine. My head doesn't even throb anymore. Must be the pain medication they've given me. If we can track down Neal, and maybe go about this in a more careful way, get the ingredients, we can do this." I locked eyes with Killian.
He nodded in agreement, but I wasn't convinced he was fine with this. I asked him quietly, "Do you not want to do this?"
He pressed his lips together pensively and shook his head. "I don't want to endanger anyone in our family anymore."
Regina said, "If I could perform a protection spell, I would. But it seems the only time I can do any magic is when its directly with you, Emma. Like earlier when I did a spell, it was done with you. I think the most I can do is holding a mirror and candle." Robin was standing next to her, staring at her like he was in love. I was thrilled for them. Something advantageous had come from being trapped here in this year and place.
"Well, has someone gotten the ingredients?" I asked.
"We did," Regina replied with a side-glance at Robin. She was hanging on his arm and Robin looked quite proud and content. "There is just no way to protect ourselves for sure. The salt circle should help."
"Why don't we have iron on each of us?" David said with surprise, as if his own words amazed him. He held out his hand as he spoke, "That way it will be repelled from harming us."
Regina said, "I've got sage and lavender like I said. Someone will have to light the sage and walk around holding a branch of the lavender blossoms. That should drive out the evil spirit, but since we'll be guiding it straight through the portal that Emma and Neal are creating, then we all jump in. I'm not sure how long the portal will remain open. Usually a few minutes I would think. Once that demon from Hell, Gold's pet I imagine, leaps into the mirror which I will be mentally creating the portal to cast him elsewhere, that is the moment we abandon ship." She whisked her hand in the air to gesture this world.
"I still wonder if there will be any ripple effects," said Killian. "Us being here."
"Well, obviously not for Robin, and Neal. They're meant to be dead anyways."
"Neal will have the death sack, if not already," David said. "It will take all of us to do this right. I sure hope that Gold isn't after that too."
"We know he's after Neal at least, but I wouldn't put it past him. First thing I do when I get back, besides to see if there is a new episode of This Is Us?" I said with a smile, "Is punch Gold in the face."
Snow smiled at me. "It's so good to have you back."
"Uh, you'll have to get in line," Regina said assertively.
"You watch This Is Us?" I exclaimed. "Because I can't wait to see who Kevin ends up with."
Killian arched an eyebrow and smirked at me.
Henry's lifted an eyebrow at me. "I'm more of a Manifest guy myself. I just want to get back to…uh, my things. And to my life." He started babbling at Hope and bent his head down, causing her to coo. I knew he meant Violet. I hoped that for him myself. The odd thing was that Neal would be probably living in our town, and I could still tell that Killian got a dark, uncomfortable look whenever Neal was mentioned.
Regina rolled her eyes. "I'm a little more dignified for TV. No, I mean beat the shit out of Gold."
Henry pulled back the bottle gently, which was empty. He set it on the lampstand bedside table and carefully lifted her up a little. I reached for her and murmured to Hope "Hey there beautiful." She beamed at me. I gently laid her on my shoulder and started patting her back. Her little face nuzzled in my shoulder and her hands moved on either side of her face. "I just love the new baby smell." I said as I smiled at my husband who smiled genuinely back at me.
Henry said into his phone, "Yeah, she's awake! Sorry I forgot to tell you. About five, ten minutes ago maybe," Henry said, probably to Neal on the other end, and glanced at me.
Killian stiffened. I could tell by his hand in mine. He shifted in his seat. He kept looking at me. His gaze settled on Hope. I rubbed her back at kissed her forehead.
Henry pressed a button on his phone and closed it. "My Dad said he got the sack." He smirked with pride. "He's going to come here."
"Poor Neal, I didn't think to tell him," said Snow as she helped Little Neal color at a round table. "Sounds like we've got all we need to do the ritual."
I stared down at Hope and said, "I really hate to take her out there. Any of you, really." I looked around at my family. "I want to get home, to our lives, our house, our time. So, time doesn't wrinkle and end up messed up later like in Back to the Future two, but honestly it's a risk." I locked eyes with Killian, who slightly nodded. He had agreement in his eyes. I could tell he felt the same way.
"That could happen," Regina said with a lift of her shoulder. "None of us except Emma are really supposed to be here. It's tricky with her, because she is two in one Emma's. I'm sure she doesn't count."
"Thanks. Regina," I said, uncertain if she caught her own sharp words. "I doubt it. What matters is the Death Sack, and that we have it."
"Emma if you don't want to do this," Snow said, "Then we can find another way. We can live here. I could make a home anywhere."
I replied evenly, "I feel the same way. It's just that considering it, Hope nearly got hurt, and my husband." I squeezed his hand. "I honestly don't know if I can risk another one of you getting hurt. I doubt Gold controls this Beast that well."
Just then Neal raced in. His eyes lit up with his bright grin when he saw me. "Emma." He said like a prayer and then stood beside my bed. He put out his arms like he would hug me, but then stopped himself when he locked eyes with Killian. My husband didn't seem like he was upset that Neal was about to embrace me, but Killian appeared apprehensive and his eyes cautioning.
Neal dropped his arms in surrender and said to me softly, "Are you okay?"
I smiled in response.
Neal added, "What made you wake up?"
Killian said simply, "Hope." He paused thoughtfully. "Our daughter Hope." He corrected himself. He inched nearer to me until his arm was next to mine in a possessive manner.
Neal seemed perplexed. He glanced down at Henry and hugged him. He looked at me and said under his breath, "Killian tell you?"
I nodded with a smile at him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Another smile crossed his face, but then it fell. He managed another content, casual smile and said, "So the Sack is in my car."
"Car that you stole?" I teased. Killian let out a very gentle sigh.
Neal shrugged and continued to smile as if he wasn't concerned.
"That's why her boss called. I told him you quit. Sorry Love. Not to be controlling. He's after Neal, looking to give the job to you. See? I could be rather kind."
Neal nodded once at him. "Thanks." He faced me, "So, what's the verdict? Are you alright to do this spell to get to the future?"
A nurse had walked in but didn't seem to hear. She was checking Emma's IV and monitor. She turned and left.
Regina huffed and rolled her eyes around. She glowered at Neal and said sharply, "Do you feel like staying in the psych ward here when the nurse tells someone what she heard you say? Be my guest."
Neal didn't seem to care about her sarcastic snide remark.
I said softly, "I'm physically fine. I just don't think I want to leave this way, and let our family, especially these children, out there where we know this demon will be attracted. Lavender, sage and salt or not, I'm actually reconsidering this." I looked at everyone; they seemed placid and content. Henry seemed a little bothered. He looked downward and then at me.
Regina shrugged. "Well it's up to you and Neal. I'm content that I have Robin. Although I would like to get home, it you're not all in, then we wait for the next chance, I guess. What's it going to be, Swan?"
I ticked my eyes to my husband, and Neal.
Neal said, "If you're having second thoughts, then let's just wait."
"I'm thinking of everyone. I just think that this is the worst thing we have ever faced, and we need to know how to battle it, or at least keep it away from our children and loved ones." I paused and said to everyone. "I say let's postpone."
Regina parted her lips in shock. "That thing is always going to be near us, waiting to pounce."
"Perhaps there is another way," Snow said.
David chimed in, "If that's what you want, Emma. I agree."
Snow nodded.
Henry didn't respond. I reached out to take his hand and said, "I'm so sorry Kid. I know you want to see you know who." I whispered as I pulled him closer. "I'm not saying we won't go back. I'm saying not right now. This is far too dangerous. When I saw it nearly take Hope too, and Killian." I met his eyes. He smiled sincerely at me as if in full agreement I continued, "It's too much to risk. There is no way that Neal and I can perform this spell and you all waiting in shelter, and then arrive in time to jump in the portal. We don't know when the portal would close for sure."
Regina shrugged. "I see your point." She cocked her head to the side as if to say 'fine'. "It's one way to piss Gold off."
I replied rationally, "It's for everyone's safety. We've had two comas and one memory loss. We cannot afford more. Could be worse the next time."
"Whatever you say, Captain Swan. Robin and I are going to go get some more coffee. Seems we'll need to get comfortable." They left the room.
I frowned at her snide tone. I decided it didn't matter. I knew I was right.
Neal opened his phone and stared at it for a little while.
David approached me and said with a calm expression, "I think this is a wise decision. Perhaps something else will come up. Like the pink pixie flower. That created portals. We can't make you do this. Perhaps you're right." He faced Snow who was nodding with a supportive smile. Little Neal was standing by her. "Look, we're going to go to the apartment. I think it's best. Emma, when are you coming home?"
"When the doctor gives me my discharge papers. We'll go straight home. I think we should just stay." I bobbed my head once. I looked down at Hope. She was asleep. I felt worried at the very thought of her being ripped out of our arms, or another one of us picked off.
"We're probably going to have to stay indoors," David said, conforming to my idea. "But another way will come. Another chance. It always does." He smiled at me as if to encourage my decision.
Henry blinked once in agreement. "It's okay. Either way, I know you guys will figure out a way."
Neal reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "Maybe your Mom's right. We'll find a way."
I said, "Well, If Gold is orchestrating things, then he may send one. Or maybe something will show up to help us."
I looked down at my sleeping baby. Her body was so warm it was nearly sweaty. I kissed her head again and said, "Henry can you put her in the carrier?"
He gingerly took her, slowly using both arms and lifted her and carried her over to her seat and placed her in it.
Killian said to me, "I think it's a bloody good decision. If something went awry. I agree with you."
"I know." I replied as I caressed his hand with my fingers. "I know you all want to go home. I know Gold wants you Neal, but after this happening, well, at least you can still see Henry."
He stared at me with longing in his eyes. He nodded as if accepting it.
A nurse came in holding a clipboard. "Mrs. Swan-Jones. You are discharged!" She said with comical personality. She held the clipboard towards me. "These are your discharge papers. If you agree, you can just sign right here? Date here."
I picked up the pen she held for me, scribbled my new signature and then handed it back to her with a smile. "Gladly. Thanks."
She smiled and left the room.
"I don't know, I kind of like our two apartments," I said, trying to see the best of this.
Killian asked, "You're sure about all of this?"
"I don't want to stay in this hospital bed. By the way I would love some coffee," I said like I was begging and desperate.
He gave me a crooked smile. "Anything your heart desires, I will do for you. What I meant was to not leave tonight."
"I don't want to leave tonight if that's the way." I shook my head, certain. "We might have a way but that thing is unpredictable. Regina may be not speaking to me again but look at what happened. Look at the way that thing carried Killian away with Hope. If I had not been as fast as I was…" I frowned and closed my eyes. "I say I'll keep my other apartment across the hallway. And we can live there happily. Until another way presents itself. Like the last time we went to the future. That was way easier."
He smiled dazzlingly at me as if agreeing with every word I said. "Of course." He kissed me softly and lingered.
I said, "How about that cup of coffee? I think they have a Starbucks in here even back then, or now. White chocolate mocha. Then we'll go to our apartment." He rose and walked out of the room.
I needed to speak with Neal. I said to Henry. "Since he only has one hand, care to help him?"
Henry smiled at me. "Sure. I want one too." He turned and quickly went to hurry to catch up with him.
Neal said, "Can I have that hug now?"
He hugged me for a moment and then gradually let go. He cleared his throat and said, "I sense you needed to speak to me."
He let go and sat next to me, staring at me. His eyes were tender as always.
"Listen, I know I made the decision for us. I'm sorry I did that because this is your deal too." I said.
He lifted his shoulders. "I can't make you do this. But I'm not upset with you. Could never be." He smiled.
A nurse came back and took out my IV and unplugged my monitor just like it was a coffee pot, and then left us.
"So, what woke you up, by the way? Was it really Hope?" Neal asked me in a light voice.
I shrugged. "I don't know, I was asleep."
We both chuckled, the comedy lightening the tension.
"My husband really let you kiss me, huh?" I asked him, dubious, but curious.
"He did. Not at first. David talked to him. I honestly think he loves you enough. He's a good man for you."
I nodded solemnly and sympathetically that he was saying such sweet things.
He whispered, "I just have to know. Do you not want to do this ritual in any way, because of the power of our past love we'd have to use?"
"No that's not it. I could do that. It's just as I said." I didn't speak for a moment. "I just…. I don't know if this is true. I have this weird hunch about the way I woke up. It sounds to me like when you kissed me, I woke up. Just delayed. I like to believe that it was Hope. I do. I don't want it to be, no offense. But something tells me it was."
He nodded quickly. "I kissed you and you didn't wake up, so I left. I didn't see the rest." He lifted his hand and dropped it.
"Killian said it's sacrifice. That he made the sacrifice for me to let you kiss me. But how do we know for sure?"
He shrugged. "Are you saying you still have feelings for me?" He smirked with hope in his eyes.
I sighed lightly, trying not to hurt him, but I would have to be blunt, as always. I didn't want to think of the complex feelings I had but they were just from my past. "It doesn't matter, Neal." I said sadly, gently letting him down with a warm, caring smile. "I'm not going to leave Hook." I paused, hesitating so that my words would resonate within him and make it very clear. I whispered, "I made a vow to him. I don't want to entertain anything with us."
"It's okay. You don't have to explain. I just felt there might be something there and I just wanted to know for sake of curiosity." He seemed like he accepted the way that I stood firmly with my marriage. He wasn't tearing up or getting dramatic.
"Well, I'm just saying that this is a possibility. You kissing me. And then the way I woke up after. It seems strange to me how I heard that Hope was just crying for me, and she got placed next to me, then I magically broke out of my coma. Could be sacrifice too. I don't know. He did a very selfless thing."
He nodded and said, "I can't make a cheater out of you, Emma." He exhaled. "I hate to say that. I really want to kiss you now."
I shook my head. I could tell he was half teasing but half not. "I'm sorry. We will never be anything. I hate to break your heart. I care about you so much. But I needed to tell you exactly how it is."
He averted his eyes. He smiled at me as if putting on a strong face. "It's okay. I actually ran into someone who lives here. She was working at this hospital in fact a bit ago. She died, but she used to be in Neverland."
"Wait who?"
"Her name's Destiny. She is Tinkerbell's sister." He seemed excited about her.
My mouth dropped as I recognized the name. "What? Destiny? We saw her when Hook was in a coma not long ago." I recalled being jealous. I was very relieved.
He nodded. "Yeah they had a thing, but…" He batted the air and shook his head like it was nothing significant. "I always liked her too. She dated Hook. Not to air out his dirty laundry. But anyways she came back."
I smiled gradually. "So you're saying you two…" I moved my finger back and forth at him.
"We're supposed to go out tonight." He paused and studied me like he was about to say goodbye. "I'm moving on. I respect your wishes. And as much as I still like you, I'm doing it for me. And you."
I smiled warmly at him, my heart aching for him. "Neal, that's…I'm really happy for you. I hoped that for you. You deserve love."
He inhaled slowly like a hiss with a nervous smile. "I guess we'll see. Maybe it's a good thing I ran into her. I got her number. I had just texted her a little bit ago when you said you decided to stay." He seemed happy and sad at the same time but determined.
"I hope you find love in her. You deserve it. It kills me to hurt you. Regardless if I have any feelings, and maybe I do, but like I said, truthfully I will never be a cheater. Me and Hook, we worked too hard to have our happy ending." I wanted to tear up because there was hope for Neal after all.
"I respect that. Thank you. I sure hope so. I always kind of had a crush on her." He shook his head. He looked up at me, but he seemed all right now. He nodded once and smiled at me. "I just want you to be happy, and you are. I always said that."
I nodded. "Looks like another second chance at love for you then." I wanted to know much more about this Destiny who was a fairy, but I didn't ask. Especially since she had been with my husband.
"I still miss you though," Neal said gently with a fond gaze at me. I smiled sadly to demonstrate that I was kindly refusing. He added, "But I won't make this hard on you anymore. I could tell the tension it had made between you two. I may not seem like I don't care about you enough to ruin your marriage, but I do care enough."
"That really means a lot to me," I replied softly. We shared a gaze, not one that lovers share, but more of a goodbye one before Killian and Henry came in holding white to go cups.
"They had Starbucks!" Killian announced, as he strolled in proudly with a vente size drink. He was smirking at me, and I returned it.
Henry was holding two. He handed one to his father. I smiled and replied, "Oh Thank God. Maybe I could live here."
I felt so warm and complete inside that I wanted to cry, but it was from happiness. Mostly for Neal. Killian smiled at me and I lifted my chin to kiss him. He kissed me very softly and then handed me my cup.
Killian glanced at Neal and then me with a little question in his eyes. It didn't matter how I woke up. We might never know. It probably was sacrifice, probably was his kiss, maybe both maybe we didn't need to know. I wasn't in love with Neal. I wanted Killian still to this day and wouldn't give him up.
"Your uh, father has a date tonight," I said to Henry as I smirked at Neal. It was comforting to see Killian's face light up in surprise as they looked at Neal.
He smiled and nodded.
"Wow. Go Dad," Henry said with both surprise and enthusiasm.
Neal said, "Which I need to get ready for since we've got an extended stay. We'll see what happens."
Killian looked down at me with question. I said, "See? Told you have nothing to worry about."
"I trust you, Love." He bent down for another kiss. He smiled with relief. "You're my hero getting me Starbucks. Both of you." I reached to squeeze Henry's hand who stood waiting.
I said with certainty, "We will find another way, I promise. Especially if Gold has anything to do with this."
Playlist –
It Is What It Is – Lifehouse
Even Angels Fall – Jessica Riddle
Hesitate – Stone Sour
Rest In Pieces – Saliva
If You're Not the One – Daniel Bedingfield
Here With Me – Dido
Doin' Just Fine – Boyz II Men
Not Meant To Be – Theory of a Deadman
You Are the Reason – Calum Scott & Leona Lewis
No Sound but the Wind - Editors
