I knew I couldn't stop Craig following if he wanted, this was his house after all. How I'd thought I could keep this private I had no idea. I opened the door and felt a rush of respect and gratitude when I saw the person, I'd phoned that morning on the other side.

"Ranbir," I extended my hand. "Thank you so much for coming so soon."

Dr Ranbir Sartain stepped through the door, nodding at me. Craig looked at me, and I saw understanding cross his face.

"I won't say a word," he said quietly. "Office is yours as long as necessary." He was gone before I could reply. But he'd worked it out, I was sure of this now.

"Tea? Coffee? I asked the Psychiatrist, my voice shaking a little.

"I'm fine thank you," Sartain smiled at me. I knew he wouldn't rush me, I had to make this call. I took a deep breath, and led him in to the home office, for the first time ever applying the lock.

"I'll pay you for this doctor," I said when we'd sat down.

"We'll cross that bridge when and if it becomes necessary," Sartain kept his eyes on me. Gentle, but professional. Right now, I'm here as a friend."

"I appreciate that, thanks." I took a deep breath, then let it out. This was going to be really difficult, but then I'd known that when I'd called him.

"Dr Sartain, I have a story to tell you. Right now, I just need someone to talk to, someone I trust, that being you. All I'm asking for now is your professional opinion. Nothing else. I'm not asking for advice, treatment, just what you think, and to talk at this time."

The doctor nodded. "Go on?"

"Whew," I exhaled again. "Where to start. At the beginning, I guess. Ok, so the first thing I need to tell you, is I know one of Michael's surviving victims. It was 6 years ago; he was stabbed to the neck but survived. Michael killed his then best friend, but the victim was saved by a passing police car. Or possibly just by pure luck. His wife and children don't know the truth. Only his therapist does. He's fascinated with the masked killer, he writes crime on him, has a fake copy of his mask, too. Michael knows this victim survived. I don't know if this victim was ever written on his file, and obviously you can't tell me this."

The Psychiatrist didn't as much as blink. Damn, he was a very good professional. Instead his eyes met mine, and I had a feeling I didn't have to say what I was about to.

"That victim is me."

Sartain's gaze remained steady as I said those words, and he didn't look surprised. My hands shaking, I unbuttoned my shirt revealing the scar across my neck.

"I said Michael knows, that's because I told him. I didn't mean to, but it just came out. My doctors diagnosed me with PTSD after it happened, as the sight of a knife with blood on it can set it off. I'm on medication for it. The kids were teens at the time. We had to keep them off social media, news, etc to stop them finding out. Even Alice doesn't know I know who my attempt killer was to this day. It was suspected, but never proven. Alice never judges anyone without absolute proof. One of the many things I love about her."

Sartain smiled gently at me, nodding.

"Two days ago," I continued, and heard my voice shake. "I saw a bloodstained knife in the sink when Michael and I entered the kitchen. I needed to talk to him about something, and bang! There it was, leaping out at me from the dark, my worst nightmare personified! I panicked, lost it! I thought I was going to be sick. When I told him, I'd reacted like this because of the blood, he just looked at the knife then back at me, and I knew what he was thinking. So what? Why do I care? It's what I do. Michael gave me a glass of water and helped me back inside after I'd stepped out for air, and it all just came out. I told him why I do crime writing, have a copy of his mask, wanted to meet him, because I was one of his victims! I showed him this scar. I ended up shouting "go on then take another shot at me," and threw a damn knife at him! Did I want to die? I ran upstairs to calm down, then faced Michael and told him I hadn't meant that to come out and I was very sorry for the fact it had. He asked me why I was the one apologising when he'd almost taken my life and had taken my best friend. He told me it would never be repeated towards me, or any of my family and friends."

"That must have been incredibly hard to deal with," Sartain said in his soft, soothing voice. Yet another reason he was very good at his job.

"You could say that," I smiled at the statement. "Considering I never meant it to come out in the first place. It was all because of that fucking bloody knife! I asked myself why I had to be the one to find it, why me? Michael had given his mask and knife to Craig the night before, Craig probably just hadn't seen the blood on it in the dark so hadn't washed it. But I felt like it'd been so damn unfair! So, like I said, I just lost it. Afterwards I felt terrible, doctor. Terrible. It's obvious Michael loves Jade, he's even told me as much now. Hell, he even asked if there was anything, he could do to help me with our shared history or in general! Several times over the last few months, I've asked myself what has he done with Michael Myers?" Sartain smiled, nodding again. "I told him I'd never mention it again, but…"

"Has it been playing on your mind since you confronted him with it?"

"Not…" I swallowed. "Not exactly." I took another deep breath. "After Jade went through… What she did at the hands of the now late Locks, I was so mad. I probably would've beaten them to death myself anyway, or if I hadn't Craig would. When we helped Michael escape, all I could think was that those bastards would get what they deserved, which sure enough they did, as you know." Again, the doctor nodded at me, his eyes gentle, patient. "But then it got worse," I sighed. "I…" I paused. "Had an accountant I worked with, named Scott. He'd liked Jade for years, yes as in liked, despite being my age and me asking him never to let Jade know. He kept calling her while she was in hospital, but her phone was off of course. When I saw him 2 days ago, I told him Jade had been away with work, I didn't want him to know the truth. He had my number, but he'd never once called me to ask how Jade was then. If he had, I may have told him the truth and…" Again, I paused. "What happened may not have done. All he wanted from Jade, hell from any woman was sex. He was almost famous for it. He treated women like shit, doctor. Really, really badly."

"I'm going to assume your use of the past tense in this context would indicate that your colleague is… No longer alive?"

I nodded.

"Ok, go on?"

"This is what you need to understand," I said, sounding as if I was trying to excuse myself of any wrong doing or anything that'd happened that terrible night. "I'm not a violent man, doctor Sartain. Not under any circumstances. I hate violence of any kind. This may sound like I'm trying to deny my involvement, but you have to believe me I'm not."

"I'm listening."

"The…" I took a second to gather my thoughts and regain my composure. Damn this was going to make me sound terrible and I knew it. But I had to tell the doctor the truth, or there was no point in being here talking to this experienced Psychiatrist. "The Steve Henderson I knew before this would've called Scott and met him at a pub just the two of us, warned him that Jade was married now, just as she told him that night, and politely asked him to stop. He didn't. I would've said if he continued, I take it down the law road. I never do violence, unless I'm really pushed. Like if the police hadn't listened to me, or Scott had continued after a formal warning. Never. I get angry when anyone hurts my family in any way, but I never, ever, seek physical revenge as the first option. I have to be pushed very hard before I even think about that possibility."

"Ok, so what did you do?"

"I called Scott; told him we would talk. I came out of my house, absolutely livid at the guy. I mean, livid. I'd…" I swallowed again, my voice hardly above a whisper. "I'd picked up a fucking knife, doctor, and I was wearing my fake Michael Myers mask! I had absolutely no idea what my intentions were, all I knew was I was angry. Really angry. It all just became too much. Jade's birth mother, the locks, and now him."

"Your anger is perfectly understandable," Sartain said. "So, what happened next?"

Scott arrived; Craig was trying to hold me back. Stuart and Dom had gone to find Michael, to tell him about Scott's conduct, and how upset Jade was. So, there we were, the 5 of us, and here came Scott. I saw the red mist, doctor. Jade had begged him to stop, he hadn't. He hadn't called when Jade was in hospital, no interest from him when she was unconscious for three weeks. Reason being, he couldn't have sex with her then. That was all he wanted, and he'd openly admit it if asked. So, he walks up to me with this smirk on his face as if to say tough shit Henderson, I'm going to fuck your daughter whether you want me to or not, you know she wants me really, and I… I lost it again. Before I even knew what, I was doing, I'd raised my knife and tried to stab him to the shoulder once, twice. I missed both times, thank God I think now. But I still tried. When that failed, I rugby tackled him to the ground. This is what scares me the most though. I knelt next to him, and God help me I think I was going to kill him. Craig had tried to pull me back as I said, but he couldn't. I was too angry. The man who knelt beside me and pushed me back from an almost certain kill was…" I couldn't finish. I only realised now there were tears in my eyes.

"Michael?" Sartain said gently.

I could only nod, as I grabbed a box of tissues from the desk. "Michael," I repeated. "The masked killer whose middle name is murder stopped me I think from becoming a killer myself. To this day, I don't understand why. Did he want the kill for himself as he always does? Or was he trying to protect me?"

"I don't think you need to dwell on that particular point."

"Maybe not. But Ranbir," now, I gently grabbed the sleeve of the doctor's suit jacket. He didn't pull back. "I'm not a killer," I almost pleaded. "That's what scares me now! I could have, almost did kill him! That really, really frightens me. If Michael hadn't stopped me…"

"Steve." Sartain gently took my hand which I only realised then was ice cold. "Steve. You can't think about that. It's done. You were very angry understandably so, and had been pushed too far. That's all. Only you will know this for certain, but I think you know deep down you could and would never have killed Scott."

"But I don't!" I almost wined, tears running down my face. "But I don't, and that's what scares me so much! I'm worried I'm…"

"Wanting a kill?" Sartain finished for me, still gently holding my hand. "No Steve. You're not. If I handed you a knife right now and said "kill me," what would you do?"

"I'd say no way, ask you if you were mad," I said instantly. "But you haven't hurt any of my family."

"It still doesn't make you a killer. Anyone can react irrationally and regret it later when angry."

"But I had a fucking knife at his shoulder! That's… That's not me, Ranbir!"

"Steve. I think you're reading too much in to this. I say again, anyone can react irrationally when angry. You, me, or anyone else. I know what you're thinking, you're afraid Michael's killing is affecting you. I can tell you right now, the answer is no. It's not."

"How'd…"

"I know," Sartain raised his voice a little to stop me. "Because you wouldn't just walk up to a man in the street and kill him. You wouldn't just strangle, stab, etc anyone to satisfy your own blood lust. Steve, you were an angry and upset man, kneeling beside a man who'd inflicted unnecessary suffering on Jade. You weren't thinking straight at the time, and regretted it as soon as you could. That doesn't make you a killer."

I stared in to Sartain's eyes, thinking about what he'd just said. Was he right? I knew what he was saying made sense, still…

"But it scares me that I even considered killing him," I said quietly eventually. "That's bad enough. If Michael hadn't pushed me back…"

"Steve," now Ranbir sounded slightly stern. "Listen to me. You can't keep thinking about that, you just can't. You will drive yourself mad. Do you hear me? You'll do yourself no favours what so ever by doing so. If you want my opinion, I don't think you would have. Not when it really came to it."

"You're too kind," I managed a weak smile. "But I'm not so sure. Why did Michael push me back if I wasn't thinking of killing him?"

"Have you asked Michael that question?"

"No."

"Then if you really want an answer, perhaps you should take him aside and do so. But I stand by what I just said. I don't think if it really came to it you would've killed him. If Michael had left you kneeling there with the knife, I think humanity would've prevailed before he was dead at your hand."

"As I said, you're too kind," I swallowed, and Sartain handed me some water. "Thank you. All I can do now though is hope you're right." I took a sip. "I'd even started to wonder…" I took another deep breath. "If Michael's desire to kill had somehow got to me. As I tried to get at Scott, I said to him "you know what it's like to kill, well now I want a taste of it!" How could I have been so…"

"They're words, Steve. That's all. Just words. There is nothing to say you meant them."

"You say what if you handed me a knife," I gave the doctor a weak smile again. "I don't think even Michael would harm you if you actually did give him a knife and asked him the same question."

"Perhaps," Sartain smiled back. "But I'd feel safer asking you than I would him!"

At this I couldn't help it and actually grinned. "Me to," I agreed.

"Has he ever…" I stopped. Should I be asking this? Of course, Sartain knew what I was thinking.

"No, he's never made an attempt on my life. That said we've had glass between us for the years in hospital. That's what I'm telling you. Michael would find it a lot easier to kill someone than you. So, I really don't think you would've actually killed your colleague."

"Thanks," I said quietly. "I really needed to hear that from you."

"Why from me?"

"Because you're a Psychiatrist, you know the minds of killers better than anyone else I know… Um, except perhaps Michael… You understand where I'm coming from, and I would've found that incredibly difficult to talk to my family about. I wouldn't even have been able to talk to my therapist about this. That's why I called you."

Sartain nodded to me. "Well I hope you feel better now."

"A little," I smiled at him. "I know you're right, that I can't keep thinking about what if. I will drive myself crazy, you're right there too. But if you don't think I would've really killed Scott, I believe you."

"Good."

We shook hands.

"But seriously, if you really want to know why Michael pushed you back, I encourage you to ask him."

"I will," I said.

"Is that everything?"

"Yes, thank you so much Ranbir."

"You're welcome. Glad I could help and be a friend to you."

"You certainly were that," I smiled at him and touched his shoulder.

"Then that's all the payment I'd want," he smiled at me. Yep, I really liked this man. "Could you possibly ask Michael to come in here for a minute?"

"Sure," I pulled out my phone and text Craig, asking him to pass the message on to the killer. Seconds later, the door softly opened and Michael entered. I made to stand, but Sartain gently touched my arm pushing me back to my seat. I saw Michael's eyebrows rise slightly at the sight of his doctor.

"Hi Michael," Sartain said quietly. "Would you mind coming in for a second and taking a seat?"

The killer did so, closing the door and sitting opposite me. I had a feeling Sartain had a reason for getting us both in here. Was it what I'd just told him? As if on cue, the doctor looked at me. I raised my eyebrows and he nodded. So, I was right.

"Michael," I said softly. "I won't lie, I've been having a little bit of… Trouble with what happened last night. I needed to talk to someone I could trust, and you were comforting Jade, thank you. So, I contacted the good doctor here. Can I ask you something?"

Michael took his digital notepad from his pocket. I felt warmth in my chest. It meant he would answer me if he could.

I swallowed. "It's my turn to have 2 questions for you. Why did you push me back from stabbing Scott?"

I didn't think you'd particularly want that on your conscience.

"That… That's the other thing. Do you… Do you think I really would've killed him if push came to shove? Is that why you did it?"

I didn't want you to even have the chance of remotely considering it.

"Seriously?" I stared at my son in law not sure what to say. He had been protecting me.

You're not a killer.

"See?" Sartain smiled at me. "We can't both be wrong Steve."

"But if push came to shove Michael, do you think I would have? Take the fact you pushed me back out of it for a second."

Steve. It's all very well for me to write no I don't think you would have, but who's to say you will believe me? Are you asking me for comfort, or as a fact? Because either way my answer would still be the same, I pushed you back because you are not a killer. You tried to stab him twice. Why do you think you missed both times? You were at point blank range. I didn't want you to even think of yourself as a possible killer. That's why I pushed you back Steve.

I couldn't speak or stop myself when I stood up and for the first time ever, hugged Michael. For some crazy reason, hearing this from someone who was a killer was a huge comfort to me. He was right. Michael gently rested his hand on my back as I looked at him, blinking back tears.

"Thank you," I just managed to say eventually. I made as if to pull back, but Michael gently tightened his grip. It was as if he knew what I was about to say. Hell, maybe he did.

"I… He knows the rest," I said softly.

The killer nodded. I stand by what I said when you told me. Can I do anything to help you?

Unconsciously, I was touching the scar across my neck. Gently, Michael pulled my hand back from it. I smiled weakly at him. "I saw you give Stuart the knives so I didn't see the blood on their blades. It didn't go unnoticed."

I glanced at Sartain. "Please tell me honestly, do you think I… We, should tell my family the truth?"

"Honestly? No. You've gone this long, why now? You and Michael have talked it over, so why bring it out again to them? You said Alice knows what she needs to, but not who your attacker was. I think it would be a bad idea at this stage, you've gone too far now. It wouldn't help anyone, you the least."

I nodded. I knew he was right.

"Michael," Sartain glanced at the killer, as I retook my seat. "I myself have a question for you. Please be honest with me. If I handed you a knife right now and asked you to kill me, would you?"

There were a few seconds of silence, and for a minute I couldn't believe Sartain had actually asked the question. Then the killer raised his pad.

Perhaps.

I stared at him in shock. Sartain nodded, as if he'd been expecting that reply.

"So, what if I asked you right now?"

I say again. Perhaps.

"You see?" Sartain looked at me. "Does that answer your question?"

I nodded. I understood now. Michael couldn't say a definite no. I could. So, I was not a killer. I wanted to cry with relief. I wouldn't have killed Scott; I was almost sure of it now.

Why? Are you asking me to?

I grinned, even Sartain couldn't stop a slight smile. "No, I am not. What if I asked you the same regarding Steve?"

I'd refuse.

I stared at the pad in shock. Sartain had got a "perhaps," me a point blank refusal? Sartain smiled slightly at the killer. "I told you your family are safe," he said. "There's the proof."

"I think that "perhaps" was Michael just humouring you," I said. "He wouldn't kill you Doc. Not a chance."

Perhaps.

I laughed a little at that message, I couldn't stop it. I was pretty sure the answer was no, Michael would never harm his doctor. I felt so much better. If Sartain hadn't been a friend before, he was now. After helping me so much when Jade was attacked, and now this. I glanced at him and once again I could see he knew what I was thinking.

"Jade?" He asked very quietly and as Michael showed us his answer, I shivered, even though it was what I expected, and made affection swell up in my heart yet again. Glancing up, I saw the doctor was also smiling at the killer.

You'd die.