"Danvers, you need to let us help you…"
That was the first thing Maggie heard when she stepped through the ICU double doors. The thinly veiled tone of growing impatience from Dr. Elizabeth Marks stood out among the typical sounds of the ICU machines at work.
Before continuing, Maggie took a deep breath. Her anxiety had been rising since she ended the facetime call with James and Jamie two days ago. She was leaving in a little over a day and the stress of packing, surprising Jamie, general travel, and being in the hospital so often, had her wound way too tight.
With one last grounding breath, Maggie clutched her bag tightly and rounded the corner to the room. She almost laughed at the sight in front of her.
Eliza Danvers had her hands on her hips, a frown on her face staring down her eldest daughter. Kara was next to the bed, her hands hovering in the air, not knowing where to put them or how to help. Winn was definitely in the corner of the room, keeping his distance from his sister-in-law.
Dr. Marks had wide eyes shaking her head, looking completely exasperated. And the two nurses accompanying her were waiting for their instructions. Maggie doubted Dr. Marks had ever had a patient nearly as stubborn as Alex Danvers, especially in the ICU.
Alex was the image of a petulant, annoyed, stubborn patient.
"What's going on here?" Maggie asked after a few seconds of observing. "Danvers, you look like you're having a grand ole time!"
"She's being evicted. They can't tolerate her anymore." Eliza turned and said to her.
"Well, that's good news then!" Maggie said with a dimpled smile.
Alex's stormy appearance lost some of its angry thunder when Maggie gave her the full dimples. She was rather proud of that.
Alex had been doing well in the last couple of days. The stitches were removed from her face, and she was eating food like a champion. Everything was staying down and looking on the upside. Her voice had also significantly improved with lots of tea and rest. Her ear infections had finally cleared up, and the resulting fever, broken. The drains were removed from her leg, and as of last night, Maggie heard she was being prepped to move into the general ward. Alex was finally going to be out of the ICU. She just had to behave….
"It is good news," Alex started, "but I'm going to be wheeled the entire way across the hospital to general in this stupid bed."
She was visibly getting worked up again, and the heart rate monitor reflected it blaring loudly.
"Danvers, you're going to need to relax through this process. You have yet to sit up completely on your own, let alone stand to be transferred into a wheelchair." Dr. Marks attempted to use logic, but it just wasn't working.
"No, you-" Alex started, but was cut off.
"Alexandra-" Eliza cut in at the same time.
"Please, Danv-" Dr. Marks tried again.
"Ma'am-" A nurse chimed in.
"Hold it, HOLD IT!" Maggie practically yelled to be heard over everyone's arguing, but it didn't work.
"Alex, I really think-" Kara added.
"Heyyyy, maybe-" Winn attempted to speak.
"Could you all just STOP?!" Alex shouted with no success. It left her coughing from the exertion.
While this was all going down, Alex Stubborn-As-Hell Danvers had managed to put herself fully-upright on the bed. She managed it with only one working arm and was attempting to swing her legs off the side.
That got everyone moving towards her at once.
…
"Hey, HEY, I got this!" Alex shouted. She found herself coughing again. Apparently her lungs weren't ready for yelling yet, and she could feel it. Not to mention the effort it took her to get up in the first place had just about everything in her body screaming at her in pain. And her head, that was a whole other issue. There was definitely a throb there.
Several arms came at her at the same time, and she definitely did not like that. She had managed to swing her right leg towards the edge, but her other one with the heavy boot wouldn't budge.
"Danvers, you need to stop and listen." Dr. Marks' voice rang above everyone else's. Her usual calm demeanor was gone and in its place was full seriousness. "If you do not stop moving and relax, we will have to give you a sedative to calm down. You need to take it easy, you are still on a ton of pain medicine."
Alex stopped and blinked in her doctor's direction. She raised her left hand up slowly in a surrender.
"I got it doc, but I don't see what the big-" Alex cut herself off and blinked a few times. She looked around the room as her vision got a little hazy. She could feel her heart racing, and as she went to lay back down, the room spun…
Everything went dark.
…
Maggie felt like her heart had stopped when Alex paled and started falling backward. Luckily Dr. Marks and Eliza were standing close enough to Alex that they caught her fall just before her upper body could hit the bed hard. They gently lowered her the rest of the way.
"I need all of you OUT!" Dr. Marks shouted. Kara looked like she was about to protest, but Maggie and Eliza stepped towards her guiding the youngest Danvers out. Winn followed just behind. They all walked to the waiting area, which was thankfully empty.
Maggie was looking back towards the room, seeing nurses rush about.
"Honey, please sit down."
Maggie heard Winn ushering Kara to take a seat.
"No, no! I can't just sit!" Kara shouted back, her voice high and heavily tinged with panic.
Maggie's head snapped back towards them. Eliza and Winn were both starting to crowd her. Striding forward, Maggie placed a hand on both their shoulders. She took a good look at Kara and saw her face paling.
"Easy, little Danvers. We don't need anyone else to faint today. How about you take a seat and tell us what you're feeling."
Always the voice of reason in a time of panic, Kara latched onto Maggie's words and shakily took a seat in one of the cold plastic chairs.
Winn was now able to kneel next to her and take one hand in his own, the other resting on her back. Kara protectively put an arm around her growing belly. Maggie has noticed in the last few days she'd really started to show.
"I'm s-so scared…" was all Kara got out before crumbling into Winn's arms. "I-I don't—" she shook her head and buried it farther into her husband's shoulder.
Yeah, exactly how Kara put it… That's how they all felt right now.
…
"Holy hell," Alex groaned when she finally started to come-to again. She squinted against the harsh lights and white room.
If she thought she was in pain earlier… Her head was pounding on another level. Her body felt like it had gone through the tumble cycle in a washing machine.
"Welcome back, Danvers," Dr. Marks said with just a slight hint of sarcasm mixed into the apparent concern.
Alex groaned and closed her eyes again. She was pretty sure being unconscious was much more enjoyable than being "back."
"Can you tell me where you are?"
Alex was going to answer. The name was just at the tip of her tongue, but… It just wasn't coming to her. She opened her eyes and squinted towards her doctor.
"You're Dr. Marks."
Dr. Marks stopped looking at the chart in her hand and made eye contact with her.
"I am Dr. Marks," she confirmed and paused, "Danvers, can you tell me where YOU are?"
Alex opened and closed her mouth. She licked her lips and swallowed thickly. The throbbing in her head was making it really hard to concentrate. Her brows furrowed into the tell-tale Danvers crinkle. Why couldn't she name her location?
"Easy Danvers," Dr. Marks said. The heart rate monitor had started to beep louder. "Work it out slowly with me. Let's go to an easier question. You know I'm Dr. Marks, correct? You identified me by name a minute ago."
At Alex's slow nod, the doctor continued.
"Can you tell me your name and date of birth?"
"Alex Danvers, September 19, 1989."
"Good, can you tell me what year it is?"
"2018." Alex's answers were prompt. They were easy questions.
"You're doing great, Danvers. Just a few more… What is the last thing you remember?"
This one took a few more seconds of thought. Everything was hazy.
"... Arguing with you." Alex hesitated. Truth be told, she had argued with a significant number of doctors between when she… Alex looked around the room. It was spacious, very sterile, and it was just her and Dr. Marks. She looked down at her own hospital gown and blankets. This was too clean for Afghanistan. Was she late for training? Where was her uniform? It was very cold in this room. No.
"I'm not in Afghanistan. I'm not in Afghanistan… I'm not..." Alex murmured to herself repeatedly. "I argued with you…" She decided to verbally piece it together. "Fuck, my head hurts… Um, I argued with you… Maggie was here… My mom..." Alex closed her eyes. The scratching of Dr. Marks's pen on the chart was worsening the pounding. She inhaled deeply through her nose and exhaled slowly through her mouth, cheeks puffing out.
"Dr. Marks," Alex said slowly, "if I think any harder, I will throw up."
The writing stopped abruptly, and something light was placed on her lap. Alex used her workable-left arm to feel the cold plastic.
"That's a basin just in case." Dr. Marks said. "Alex, you're at National City General Hospital."
"Right," Alex murmured in acknowledgment. "Bomb, no leg." No uniform, no drills.
"That's correct. You've been in the ICU for about a week. You were just about to be released into the general ward when you got all excited and tried to get out of bed… That confusion and difficulty you're having with naming locations right now is from your concussion. Does any of this ring any bells?"
"Yeah, that's me all right." It was definitely coming back to her now.
"Yes, ma'am, that's you. I already told your family what happened, but the gist is that you fainted. I doubt you recall this considering all the morphine, but your heart stopped twice in this last week during surgery. Your heart is fine, but it is still recovering. You shocked your body with all the commotion. Your heart rate accelerated, blood pressure dropped, and that leads us to now."
"Sweet, anything else, doc?" Alex asked. She filed all the information away for later. She was still convinced her brain was squeezing itself right now.
"Yes. We did a full work-up. Your blood pressure is still low. Even with the transfusions, your body is working hard to naturally reproduce blood, but it hasn't caught up yet. Your electrolyte levels are down, so we've got some Gatorade for you to drink. You've got to take it easy, Danvers. I'm not trying to be an ass here. The more you move, the more your concussion is going to present symptoms, too."
Defeated, Alex nodded. "Got it, doc. I'm sorry."
"Now, how about something for that head of yours?" Dr. Marks asked in a softer tone.
"Yes, please," Alex pleaded.
"I'm going to give you half a dose of morphine. It'll take the edge off of all the aches along with the headache."
There was a brief cold rush into her IV. Alex knew it would be only a minute before she'd get her relief.
"Can I send someone in?" Dr. Marks asked.
"Maggie, please. Just Maggie."
"You got it."
Alex listened to the footsteps leaving. The pounding was becoming less and less forceful as the seconds ticked by. The aches all over her body were soon replaced by nothingness. It wasn't quite like the floaty feeling she got on the higher dosage, but nothingness was a relief.
Her breathing was already evening out when a distinct set of footsteps registered to her. She heard a click and opened her eyes quickly. She blinked, noticing the lights were off, but there was still enough light from the window to see well.
"Gave us a hell of a scare, Danvers." Maggie tossed her bag on the chair and took a seat on the edge of the hospital bed.
"I know, s'rry," Alex said, her speech slurring ever so slightly. The morphine had fully kicked in. It was definitely going to knock her out soon, but she had some time before then.
She looked up into Maggie's deep brown eyes. Alex isn't sure what Maggie saw in hers, but Maggie looked concerned all of a sudden.
"Are you alright, Alex?" She put her hand on Alex's cheek and rubbed her thumb soothingly against her face.
Alex hummed and leaned into it. She looked back up at Maggie. "We're in National City."
Maggie nodded, "Yes, we're in National City."
"I still don't believe it…" Alex trailed off.
Maggie laid down next to her and cradled Alex's head into her. "We're home, Alex, we're home."
…
Alex was moved down to the general ward three hours later. She had taken a long nap in Maggie's arms and slept off the worst of her headache with the help of the morphine. Alex was genuinely feeling a bit better. She had drunk most of the gatorade that she was ordered to drink, and she had a little more energy.
She had agreed to stay in the hospital bed while being moved to avoid another situation like earlier. There were even a few minutes on the bridge to general where she got to see out the large windows. They overlooked a park to the right and the heart of National City. She'd even shed a few tears. Her eyes caught up to what her brain had been told. She really was home.
The hospital staff more or less waved off the visiting hours for the Danvers clan. They were never loud or disrespectful, and when asked to leave the room for a couple of minutes, they rarely objected. They were lax on the hours anyway, but it was reassuring for them all to know they weren't going to be kicked out when hours ended. So Dr. Marks had a chat with the desk on Alex's floor and got it all taken care of.
Dr. Marks decided to co-lead Alex's case with a doctor in the general ward rather than just relinquish her to them.
"She's got a doctor that I think can handle her and put up with her stubbornness." Dr. Marks said to the Danvers family. This room was rather spacious to accommodate all of them. Alex had gone back to napping, naturally this time with no additional drugs, as soon as she was transferred over to the new hospital bed.
A new doctor stepped in at that moment. "This is Dr. Emily Brooks. She'll be taking care of Alex's everyday needs for the most part. I'll continue to do a rotation through here to check on her and make sure she is progressing the way she should."
To Maggie, Dr. Brooks looked a little too nice, a bit too soft. She seems like someone who might not be able to handle Alex's temper and stubbornness, but only time will tell.
Dr. Marks looked like she was about to say something else, but a noise stopped her. Maggie had heard it too. It was a noise she grew rather familiar while sharing a tent with Alex.
Maggie turned towards Alex. A whimper came from her, and her face twitched into a pained expression. Her breathing pattern changed like it always did when this happened. It was another one of her nightmares.
She stepped up towards Alex's head and reached out her hands. Both Dr. Marks and Dr. Brooks tried to stop her, but Maggie turned back to them quicker.
"No, wait. I know how to pull Alex out of it. You have to trust me." Maggie looked slightly desperate at them. She knew just how bad Alex's nightmares could get, and she also knew how bad her reactions could get when being woken up.
Dr. Brooks was going to protest, but Dr. Marks put a hand on her shoulder and nodded to Maggie.
"Thank you," Maggie sighed and turned back to Alex.
She took a step forward, rubbed her hands together quickly, and reached forward. She placed a hand on each side of Alex's face. "No…" Alex had started mumbling.
All eyes were on the two veterans, and Maggie knew it.
"Alex, you're safe." She paused and got no reaction. "Danvers," Maggie tried a little louder. Tears had begun to slip out of Alex's closed eyes. Maggie thumbed then away.
"Safe, Danvers, you're safe! I've got you!"
And that was enough to jolt Alex out of her nap and her nightmare. Her breathing picked up as she frantically took in her surroundings. Her eyes were shifting back and forth, confused by all the people and her location. Maggie's hands centered her head, causing her to focus.
"You're safe, Danvers, I've got you. We're home, it's all over. You are safe."
Tears continued to fall down her face, and Maggie just kept wiping them away as they came. She ignored the conversation behind her, her focus solely on Alex.
"There you go, I'm right here. I've got your six, Danvers."
"T-ten - f-four, Sawyer." Alex stuttered back at her. It had always been how Maggie got her back after nightmares.
Alex's uncasted arm came up and tugged at Maggie's sleeve - their own silent communication now. Alex wanted her up in the bed, just like they'd done while deployed.
Maggie quickly crawled in, and Alex latched herself onto her. She buried her face in Maggie's chest while her good arm gripped the back of her shirt.
She could feel Alex shaking in her arms both from the nightmare and the temperature in the room. Before Maggie could ask for a blanket, though, Eliza Danvers had commandeered one from her bag. It looked to be homemade and crocheted with beautiful blues, greens, and grey.
Eliza came over and unfolded it, draping it over Maggie and Alex. It was large enough to cover them and hang a little off the bed.
Alex had started to relax in Maggie's arms, and the blanket with its added weight was enough to completely comfort her back to almost normal. Her breathing evened out against Maggie.
Maggie looked up at Eliza. "That's how I handled it in Afghanistan, and it always worked."
All eyes were still on the pair in the bed. Dr. Marks leaned over and whispered something to Dr. Brooks. In return, Dr. Brooks scribbled something down on the chart.
"Right," Dr. Brooks spoke for the first time. "I've already been updated on the unique circumstances of Ms. Danvers - Sergeant Danvers," she corrected herself. "We have her scheduled to start intensive physiotherapy this afternoon to avoid atrophy in the muscles we can work with. I must warn you all, it will be an incredibly long and difficult process, not to mention painful. I'd also like to stress the importance of all of you being here for her. Family will make or break her recovery, and at times even you all will be angry and frustrated. I have some names of therapists that I can recommend, so everyone has someone to talk to."
"Thank you," Eliza spoke up. "We are prepared to do anything necessary to help her improve. She did not give up her fight, and we won't give up on her."
Dr. Brooks nodded. "With the extent of her injuries, Sergeant Danvers will need full-time care after being discharged. I must also warn you, there is a chance she may never be able to live alone again. While I am sure Sergeant Danvers is a fighter, it is still a possibility."
Maggie looked down at Alex's sleeping form in her arms. She didn't deserve this, and that's what pissed her off the most. Alex was the kindest, selfless person she had ever met. No one deserved this.
"What steps can she take to become independent?" Eliza asked. Everyone knew Alex would hate not having her own independence.
Dr. Brooks sighed, "We'll have to look into a prosthesis for her leg. She'll need to regain most of her mobility and be confident in her movements. She has extensive injuries apart from the amputation that have to heal. There's a lot up in the air right now. We have a military psychiatrist that works with the hospital. She'll be visiting tomorrow morning that will be able to answer your questions about Sergeant Danvers's transition back into normal life."
"Understood, thank you, Dr. Brooks and Dr. Marks." Eliza nodded.
"Press the call button or come find us if you need anything." And with that, the doctors left the room.
…
Eliza Danvers had stepped out of her daughter's hospital room and pulled out her phone. Not long after the doctors had left the room, Kara had requested to have some time with her sister. Winn had stayed with her, and Maggie took off back to her apartment with promises to be back later in the evening.
The air around all of them felt weird, and the head of the Danvers family could not put words to it. It was sad, for sure, but it was also weighted.
As she walked, she glanced up at the television screen that was on in the lobby. The weather was flashing for evening thunderstorms today. It was about time considering it had been so muggy in National City lately.
Eliza kept up her pace until she was outside in the sunlight again. She took a turn towards her favorite cafe, bought herself an iced coffee, and found herself walking towards the waterfront. It wasn't a far walk from the hospital, but long enough for her head to clear.
She needed a game plan before talking to both of her daughters. Alex and Kara both had to be handled carefully. All of their lives have now changed, and it wasn't easy to swallow. None of it felt entirely real. The week felt like it had blurred at warp speed but crawled at the same time.
Eliza took a seat by the docks at the waterfront and watched the sailboats pull in and out. The breeze made it tolerable outside today.
She unlocked her phone and tapped the third number on her favorites list. She waited as it rang…
- "Hello?" The familiar voice on the other end answered with concern already evident in the tone.
- "Hi Michael," Eliza said.
- "Hey, Eliza. I haven't heard from you since the night you went to National City. How's Alex doing? How are you doing?"
Eliza sighed. She didn't have the energy to talk about herself right now. She had to be a mother first.
- "Alex is alive and on the mend… But I have a favor to ask of you."
- "Of course, anything."
Eliza and Mike Richards had been good friends for many many years before their recent attempt at dating, so she felt comfortable asking this.
- "You're handy with tools, correct?"
- "Yes, fairly so."
- "I'm going to send you some plans for my downstairs guest room. I'm going to order some stuff to be sent to your house, and I need you to install it. I promise it'll make more sense when you see the plans."
- "Of course. I will take care of it, no need to worry on this end…" Mike paused before hesitantly continuing. "C-can I ask, how bad is she?"
- "She's bad, Mike. She's in bad shape. But she's home in National City. I pulled every connection I could think of and, with a bit of luck, got her home."
- "Well, I'm glad you got her home. You know to call me at any time if you need anything at all. I'm serious, Eliza, I'm here for you, and I'm here for your family if you say the word."
Eliza sighed. She knew she could call him, but it felt good to actually hear it be said.
- "Thank you, Michael. I appreciate it."
Eliza looked up and saw Maggie walking towards her. They must've had the same idea.
- "Look, I have to go, but I will email you the plans by tomorrow morning if not sooner… I'll talk to you soon."
- "Talk to you soon. Be safe, Eliza. My thoughts and prayers are with you all."
- "Thanks."
And with that, she hung up the phone just as Maggie walked up to her.
"Is this seat taken?" Maggie asked.
Eliza gestured to the open spot, and Maggie plopped down.
They sat in silence for a while, watching the boats. The seagulls chimed in often, and they could hear the sound of children playing in the background. It was a peaceful day.
"How long?" Eliza asked, breaking the silence.
Maggie turned to look at her, "How long, what?"
"How long has she had nightmares like that." It wasn't stated as a question but said in the way only a mother could.
"Eliza, I don't know if that's for me to-" Maggie's words were cut off with a wave of her hand.
"I'm not asking for details, but I know my Alexandra. I need to be prepared. So I'm asking, how long has she had those nightmares."
Maggie sighed sincerely and looked forward again.
"Longer than I've known her."
So at the bare minimum, half a year. Eliza knew her daughter. She'd been probably struggling quietly for much much longer. Ever a Danvers, insanely strong.
Eliza nodded, "Thank you for having her back while you were over there. It was nice knowing she had someone." She reached over and took Maggie's hand.
"She's strong," Maggie said.
"And stubborn as hell," Eliza added, the statement tinged with sadness.
…
The zipper of her duffel seemed to echo through her apartment. Not only did Maggie have to pack to go back to Metropolis, but she also had to make sure everything was set up for her family's return in May. Her brain was in mom-mode, making sure nothing was left behind, and everything was in order.
Maggie had sat in companionable silence with the Danvers matron until Eliza had gotten another phone call. Winn had called her back to the hospital to discuss some stuff about Alex, and Maggie walked back to her apartment. It was her last night in National City tonight, and she had some plans to put into motion.
She sighed and took another look around. It hadn't been the readjustment period that Maggie had hoped for after returning from war. She had expected to find a simple routine like she had started with the park, desensitizing little by little and embracing being back in the states. She had planned to have a few dinners with Kara and Winn.
Instead of relaxation and desensitization, Maggie had her anxiety skyrocket, her nerves were through the roof, and her emotions were fried. Her relationship status was paused and questionable at best. They'd never defined anything, and now things had gotten a hell of a lot more complicated. Maggie had spent more time in the hospital than outside of the hospital in the past week. Even if they hadn't defined the relationship, if there was even one to define, Alex was still her friend and sister-in-arms. She wouldn't leave her.
It seemed as though no one felt good about having Alex out of their sight for more than a couple hours. None of it felt real still. Everyone was currently sleep-deprived for various reasons, and it was stressful.
Since everything has been so stressful, even more so for Alex than the rest of them, Maggie had done a little negotiating. She's set to have a solo dinner with Alex tonight. She has two hours of Alex to herself. Speaking of which, she had extra preparations to make…
…
"Knock knock," Maggie said as she ducked into Alex's room. It was 1800 hours on the dot, the start of her time with just Alex.
"Hey," Alex said with a smile. She reached over and tilted the bed up to sit more upright. "I was wondering what was going on when they all left me here."
Maggie chuckled, "yeah, that's on me."
She set down the bags she was carrying in the chairs and on the tiny rotating tray next to the bed.
"Whatever you've got smells amazing," Alex said. She was craning her neck to see into the bag.
"Now, now, Danvers. Patience is a virtue. Give me a minute to set up."
Maggie smiled and set about organizing everything. She pulled out what looked like an oversized napkin and covered the tray. She then proceeded to pull out two tall battery-operated electric candles and flipped them on. Maggie then walked over and dimmed the lights so the little lights could be seen.
Once those were placed on the tray, Maggie pulled out two spoons and two soup containers with the label "Noonans" on the side.
Alex's eyes lit up, "No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did. A little birdie told me you absolutely love their chicken noodle soup. It's real food for you tonight, Danvers. I checked with your doctors, too, and got their approval." Maggie was rather proud of herself.
"What's all this for?" Alex asked. She happily picked up the spoon that was handed to her. Alex sat her bed up higher, almost entirely upright now. In the process, she groaned a bit. "Sorry, they kind of tried to kill me with all the physio stuff earlier… I'm a little sore. Who knew it could be exhausting to have other people move your limbs…"
"No worries. This, Alex, is a date."
At her stunned expression, Maggie continued, "I planned to ask you out the moment we got to meet up again after you rotated home, but you came back a little early… And it's also my last night. I wanted to do something special for you… For us."
"I love it," Alex smiled.
Maggie opened Alex's container and inched it out towards her. She also sat on the edge of the bed so they could share the tray like their own private table.
Alex struggled with her first spoonful but managed to eat it successfully. On the second one, though, she dropped it on the tray. Her left hand had just totally lost its grip.
"Shit, sorry," Alex said as she tried to clean up the small soup spill.
"Don't worry about it, Alex," she said as she pulled out a couple extra napkins. She quickly cleaned up the small spill.
"Do you want some help?" Maggie offered.
"No, I got it," Alex said stubbornly.
And to her credit, she did get another two bites in… There was a lot of concentration and strain involved. Until she dropped the spoon again.
Alex groaned and laid back. "Never mind, I'm not hungry."
"Nah, Danvers, this is a date! It'll be romantic. Lean forward again." Maggie took a scoop and held it patiently over the bowl.
"Romantic, huh?" Alex questioned.
"Yes, Alex, romantic. Use that imagination of yours." Maggie winked and used her dimples. Naturally, Alex couldn't resist. She stretched forward and ate the spoonful of soup offered.
When she had swallowed, Maggie asked, "So… Where are you from?"
Alex laughed and coughed a little, "I was born and raised in Midvale, California — about six hours north of here."
Maggie had another spoonful ready for her.
"That's pretty neat. So you're a California girl by heart."
She ate another spoonful of her own soup.
"I grew up in Blue Springs, Nebraska, and left as soon as I could."
She ate another spoonful and glanced up. Alex had a soft, curious smile. There was ever so slightly a head tilt added to it.
"Maggie, why are we talking about this? We already know each other's backgrounds."
"Well, Danvers, I want to call you my girlfriend someday, and that doesn't happen without at least one date."
Maggie also turned on the charm with her dimpled smile and her signature head tilt.
She was rewarded with a blush from Alex, "well, when you put it like that… What I'm hearing is that you like me?"
"Yeah, Danvers, I like you a lot."
Maggie got up and leaned in for a kiss. It was light, but it was the lips she'd missed so much in the past couple weeks.
They pulled back all too soon, Alex breathing a little heavy from her moment or two without oxygen.
Maggie chuckled and leaned back.
"Now I don't want to put pressure on a new relationship right now. I'm heading back to Metropolis tomorrow morning, and you've got your recovery to focus on. BUT I want you to know my intentions. I want you in my life, Danvers."
Alex's shy smile was precisely the response she was hoping for.
"I'd like that, thank you, Maggie."
She then leaned back into her bed. By now, a little over half of the soup was gone. Maggie wasn't going to push her to eat more, so she slid it to the side.
"You doin' okay there, Danvers?" Maggie asked when she noticed her slightly pinched expression.
Alex took another breath, "yeah, I'm good. Doc said my lungs are still trying to recover from everything."
"Speaking of docs…" Alex said when she opened her eyes.
Maggie turned to see not one, not two, but three doctors coming into the room.
"Sorry to interrupt," Dr. Marks began, "but I noticed a change in your vitals." She walked over to the back edge of the bed and turned something on. She brought a nasal cannula towards Alex.
"Woah, woah, woah, no. I don't want that again!" Alex protested.
"Sorry, not sorry, Sergeant Danvers," Dr. Brooks said from her spot at the end of the bed. "Your oxygen stats are too low to not have additional oxygen supplied for you. This is only temporary. We'll keep you on it for a few hours and see how you're doing. Remember, your body has gone through a major shock and change. It needs time."
As Dr. Marks and Dr. Brooks got a very grumpy looking Alex set up with her oxygen, the third doctor stepped up. Maggie did not recognize this one. But Alex clearly did.
"Come back to beat me up already?"
The man shrugged and looked apologetic. "Yes. We need to be as proactive as possible to prevent you from losing more muscle than you already have. And we need to specifically work on range of motion right now."
"Sorry, I don't think we've been introduced yet," Maggie stood up and held out her hand. "Sergeant Maggie Sawyer." She wanted to know who ALL of Alex's doctors were to ensure she had the best care possible.
He stepped right up and shook it, "it's nice to meet you, Sergeant. I am Dr. Walter Peterson. I am doing Alex's physio workouts."
Maggie started cleaning up their dinner, thankfully they had just finished.
Dr. Brooks had looked at the battery candles and little napkin tablecloth set up and turned to Maggie, "again, we're really sorry for interrupting. If I may say, I think this is the best date I've seen in this hospital." She smiled and looked at Alex and nodded her head back at Maggie. "This one's a keeper, Sergeant Danvers!"
Alex cracked a smile at that, "thanks." She frowned very quickly though when the oxygen mask was placed firmly on her face.
"So, Alex…" Maggie started and paused after she was done collecting the remains of their 'date.' "Do you want me to head out while you-" Maggie gestures towards Alex's body and Dr. Peterson.
"Stay… please," Alex whispered to her, suddenly appearing vulnerable. The sound was also muffled, but Maggie heard it loud and clear.
"Hey, Doc," Maggie said to Peterson, "how long is the torture session?"
Maggie heard Alex snort in laughter from the bed and smiled.
"I'm thinking it'll be about 30 minutes maximum. I don't want to overwork Sergeant Danvers' stressed muscles too much since we did a session this morning."
Maggie hummed in thought. She knew already Alex was not happy with the physio treatments, and she'd only done it once so far. But Maggie knew how to make it enjoyable.
"I'll make you a deal, Danvers," Maggie said with a smirk turning toward the woman in the bed.
"I'll put on my workout shorts and shirt really quick and do push-ups the entire time you do your workout with breaks when you get yours. I get a workout, and you get a show. How's that sound?"
Alex's eyes grew wide and swallowed. "Y-yeah, deal."
"Make sure you count the number out loud so I can hear..."
…
For every one rep, Maggie did at least one push-up. She ended with 105 total, and a high-five from Dr. Peterson on his way out.
It was 1930 hours now, and Maggie had just 30 minutes left alone with her.
"So Danvers," Maggie said, drawing out her speech. "I leave tomorrow morning, and-"
"What?" Alex asked and lifted the mask off of her face. "I thought you didn't leave until Friday?"
Maggie stepped forward and placed the mask back in its position and ran her fingers through Alex's hair. She took a seat on the edge of the bed and took Alex's free hand in both of hers.
"Oh, babe," Maggie said softly, the term slipping out effortlessly. "Tomorrow is Friday…"
Alex blinked several times before shaking her head slightly, "n-no it isn't."
Maggie brought one of her hands back up to the side of Alex's face. She slowly and gently ran her thumb up and down Alex's cheek. Alex closed her eyes and nuzzled into the feeling but still had her brows furrowed.
"I'm losing time," Alex said and opened her eyes again to meet Maggie's.
For the first time since Maggie met Alex, Maggie saw fear in those eyes. Alex moved the mask again, and Maggie let her.
"I-it's not just now, with the days. It's earlier when I didn't know where I was. I could place people but not locations. I still have no memory of what happened after skyping you and Kara… There's pieces, but… I… I don't even..." Alex trailed off. She was working herself up again.
"We'll work through it, Alex," Maggie said in full seriousness.
"You're not jus- gonna tell me it'll be okay?" Alex slurred a little. She was trying very hard to stay away while still stressing and falling asleep all at once.
"If that's what you want to hear, that's what I'll tell you. I do believe that it'll be okay in the end, but I'm not concerned with that. I'm concerned with what you need to hear. I'm here to help you, and to be whatever you need me to be right now."
Alex placed the mask back on her face and nodded. Maggie thought she was going to drift off to sleep, unable to finish the conversation she started; however, Alex grimaced in pain and hissed. She took her hand from Maggie's and reached for her casted arm in her sling. Alex gripped the portion just below her wrist. She looked much more awake now.
"Easy, easy," Maggie said and placed her hand on top of Alex's. "Do you want me to get Dr. Brooks?"
"N-no," Alex grunted. "It's just healing pain. I don't want to take anything else for the pain."
"If you're sure?" Maggie asked, still not convinced.
"Yeah, I'm sure," she relaxed a little more. Alex's hand continued wandering up her sling feeling the cast and up to her shoulder, massaging the joint.
"Must've broken it pretty bad this time," Alex casually commented.
"This time?" Maggie asked, raising her eyebrows.
Alex's gaze came back to hers. "Yeah, I've broken that one before. Not on a deployment, but when I was a teenager."
"Now that sounds like a story I need to hear sometime," Maggie said with a chuckle.
"It's not that exciting, promise. But, um, you were definitely going to say something else before I freaked out earlier."
"Right!" Maggie said, now remembering the point to her dragging a bag with her to the hospital tonight.
"I wanted to give some parting gifts to you."
Maggie got up and went to her bag. The first thing she pulled out was her book.
"This is the first printed copy of my novel. It's not on the market yet. I meet with my publicist this weekend to go over a few things before the release date next month. But I want you to have this one." She handed the bound novel to Alex and carefully placed it in her hand, the cover facing up. The title ``To Be unLOVEABLE`` was displayed in bright letters with the "un" crossed out in red.
"Maggie, I can't take the first copy," Alex said, shaking her head.
"Then think of it as borrowing. Return it when you've read it." Maggie smiled.
"There's one more thing." Maggie walked over and pulled the other object out of her back. She turned around quickly and hid it behind her back.
Alex playfully stretched her neck a little to try to see around her.
"It may be a little stupid, buuuut…"
She pulled the object out from behind her, and Alex broke into a big smile. Success!
"Maggie, I love it," Alex said softly. She placed the book in her hand onto the table next to her and made a little grabby hand towards the teddy bear Maggie now held out.
"I wanted to give you something for you to hold onto when I'm not here to hold on," Maggie said, tearing up a little herself. She handed the bear over to Alex.
It was a teddy bear covered in camouflage print wearing hospital scrubs, a cap, and a mask as if it was ready for surgery.
"I hope it's not too cheesy-"
"It's perfect," Alex said and leaned in for a kiss.
Their moment was cut short, however, when Maggie's phone went off.
"Sorry," she said as she pulled it from her pocket. It was James calling, completely unusual since they hadn't planned it, not to mention how late it was in Metropolis.
"I have to take this, I'm going to step outside the room for a minute."
"Yeah, no problem," Alex said, waving Maggie towards the door. Her attention was focused on setting the bear in a spot it wouldn't fall over and then reached to pick up the book to read the back.
Maggie knew it by heart at this point. She turned and walked out the door with her phone.
…
"To Be unLOVEABLE" follows Nadia and the everyday drama of being a high schooler in a tiny town, with a little something extra. She has survived being kicked out of her home. To be looked at and not seen is Nadia's reality. People look through her as if she were a ghost, non-existent - like dirt beneath a shoe. Who better to help than her only ally, the librarian?
Sawyer invites you to read about Nadia's adventures in finding acceptance and her ability to love and be loved. Nadia's story and so many like hers are beacons of hope that there is a future.
"A heartbreaking and uplifting story, one that needs to be on EVERYONE'S shelves!"
- The Boston Globe
"This novel should be appreciated not only by the youth it reflects but by the adults who are searching for understanding the children crying out to them. They can learn from this example of compassion and acceptance for all who are different."
- The New York Times Book Review
…
- "James? Is everything okay?" Maggie asked as soon as she had stepped into the hallway. Thankfully it was quieter now as she made her way towards the empty waiting room.
The sound that she heard on the other end just about broke her heart.
- "Mommy?" Came the sniffly response on the other end. Jamie's voice was thick with tears, and Maggie winced when she heard a pitiful cough from her baby.
- "Oh little Jaybird, what's wrong, sweetie?" The crying intensified.
- "We're having a rough night over here." James supplied for her. "Our little bird isn't feeling too well, and she misses you."
- "I'm so sorry, baby," Maggie said and wiped away her own tears that showed up quickly. She hated it when Jamie didn't feel well, and she couldn't be there. It happened all too often, where she missed moments like this in her daughter's life.
- "Her fever broke early this morning, but I think it's just a bug. Sore throat, runny nose, and low-grade fever. I kept her home today, and I think she's a little concerned she might miss tomorrow's career day."
- "I know daddy said you were really excited about it, but we want to make sure you get better." In her head, Maggie was figuring out their alternatives for tomorrow. Jamie just whined on the other end and coughed again.
- "How about this, Jamie," Maggie started, "the best way to get better is to get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow morning, daddy will see if you're feeling good enough or if you need another day home. But if you want to go, you really need to sleep."
- "Story?" Jamie asked. She sounded too tired to say anything else.
- "Of course, I will always tell you a story," Maggie said and softened even more.
…
Maggie wiped away more tears after she hung up the phone with James. Jamie had been out not long into the story and went down fine. She always felt so guilty for not being with them in moments like this. This was one thing Maggie was really grateful for now that she was stepping away from the army. She would be with her daughter.
A storm had blown into National City while Maggie had been on the phone. She watched it through the windows as it came, but the rumbling outside the windows was increasing in intensity now.
Maggie checked her watch. It was 2027 hours, and Eliza would be back in Alex's room by now. Maggie had learned very quickly that Dr. Danvers was a very punctual woman. She could see where Alex got that from.
She took a seat on one of the plastic chairs in the waiting room and put her head in her hands. Maggie rubbed at her eyes, wiping away the last of the tears. She needed this moment to herself. Running on nearly zero sleep, Maggie was fried. She was burned out and not processing much anymore.
Maggie flinched when a particularly loud crack of thunder erupted outside. "Come on, Sawyer," she said quietly to herself. "Pull it together." She did some of her yoga breathing, taking a deep breath in and letting it out slowly.
Thunder rang out again, but her flinch was barely there this time. No, what startled Maggie out of her chair was a very distinct shout.
"NO!"
Maggie ran for Alex's room, only to be stopped by a very shaken and worried-looking Eliza. "Dr. Marks and Dr. Brooks sent me out. The thunder startled her. It was like she was coherent one moment and shouting the next."
Maggie turned to go towards her door when another nurse rushed past and ducked in. Another nurse that Maggie vaguely recognized was exiting the room and stopped her.
"No one is allowed in right now. They're working to bring her out of a flashback and keep her medically stable. They cannot do that with others in the room." The nurse stood firm in their spot in front of the door.
"I can help!" Maggie raised her voice back at the nurse.
"I'm sorry, doctor's orders," they repeated, unmoving.
Through the door, Maggie could hear the voice of Dr. Marks trying to talk Alex down. Maggie deflated, "oh, Alex." While she was stuck out here, Alex was stuck in her mind, in her own hell, and there was nothing Maggie could do, nothing either of them could do.
After another rumble of thunder and another flinch, Maggie felt Eliza's hand come to rest on her shoulder.
"Come, let's take a seat. This might take a while."
…
After 20 minutes of restless waiting, Dr. Marks showed up in the waiting room. Both Eliza and Maggie stood up.
"She's asking for you, Maggie. Dr. Danvers, we've got a few things to discuss with regards to Alex's recovery."
Maggie looked to Eliza, unsure of what to do.
"Go ahead, Maggie. It's alright." Eliza nodded to her.
"Are you sure?" Maggie asked.
"I'm sure. Go be with her."
Maggie walked briskly out of the waiting room and around the corner. There were fewer people there this time, but Dr. Brooks was still in the room with two other nurses.
She walked up to the bed.
Alex's breathing was slow, but her eyes told everyone that she wasn't entirely back here yet. "I'm right here, Danvers. You're okay."
Alex blinked a few times, and her eyes focused on Maggie's. The fear was still there, but she was coming down.
"Mags?" Alex asked in a quiet and vulnerable voice. "Yeah, Alex," Maggie nodded and warmed at the nickname, "I'm right here. We're still in the hospital."
"Can I touch you?" Maggie asked. She needed to be sure. At Alex's quiet, "yes," Maggie stepped closer and wiped away the stray tears that were falling down Alex's cheeks. Alex still looked a little confused, so Maggie moved the teddy bear so it was in Alex's good hand. "You feel that? That's the teddy bear, remember?"
Not breaking eye contact with Maggie, Alex rubbed her fingers against the fuzziness and the silkiness of the scrubs it had on. Alex nodded slowly.
"Can you tell me where you are?" Maggie asked her.
"Hospital, National City."
Maggie smiled, "that's right. You're in National City in the hospital… There's a storm outside…"
"Thunder and lightning," Alex said, telling it to herself and Maggie.
Maggie nodded, "that's right."
It rumbled again, and Alex closed her eyes, brows knitted together. "Thunder, National City, Hospital," Alex repeated to herself, trying to keep her mind where her body is. She tried slowing her breathing more. She reached up and grabbed hold of Maggie's shirt, something soft in contrast with the feelings of war.
"Come here, please," Alex said, pleading and shifted over every so slightly.
Maggie climbed onto the bed carefully. Alex sat up into her, wrapping her good arm around Maggie and fisting her shirt in her hand again. She put her head against Maggie's neck, hiding from those around her.
"I-I had a flashback, didn't I?" Came the muffled question from Alex.
Maggie rubbed her back soothingly, "Mhm," Maggie hummed affirmatively.
"Have you had these before, Alex? Flashbacks?" Dr. Brooks asked her. Alex turned slightly towards her to be heard.
"Not flashbacks, but nightmares. I've had nightmares like that before." Dr. Brooks nodded and wrote something down on Alex's chart.
"I feel… really nauseous." Alex murmured.
Maggie slid to the side, so Alex had more space. Dr. Brooks pulled out a bin and put it in front of Alex. Alex battled with herself for a few tense seconds, but her body won out. The stress and anxiousness from her flashback had churned her stomach. She emptied its contents into the bin. Maggie rubbed her back and held her steady.
When she was finished, one of the nurses handed her a cup of mouthwash. Alex all but collapsed into Maggie wholly worn out after rinsing her mouth.
"Any more nausea or sick feelings?" Dr. Brooks asked her, removing the bin.
Alex shook her head slowly, "I'm pretty tired."
"We'll let you get some rest, then. If you need anything at all or if you feel sick again, hit that call button. That goes for either of you." Dr. Brooks said.
Alex pulled her heavy blanket up higher with Maggie's help. "Do you want the lights off?" Dr. Brooks asked when she reached the door.
"Dim them?" Alex asked.
The lights dimmed a moment later, and they were alone again.
Maggie gave Alex a kiss on top of her head. Her hand found Alex's, and she began rubbing her thumb soothingly over the back of Alex's hand.
"I've got you, Alex. I've got you."
They stayed like that for quite some time. Alex quietly reminded herself of where she was. Maggie helped her when more thunder rumbled. But the storm was moving on at this point. Eliza had not returned to the room, presumably still talking to the doctors. And Alex finally broke her silence.
Alex chuckled humorlessly. "You know, I never expected this when I enlisted… I knew the potential of getting shot, maybe even dying, that's always been in the back of my mind…But never… this… any of this..." Alex trailed off for a moment before continuing, "I used to think I was invincible… that nothing could ever hurt me. Then I got shot a few times, and it brought me back to reality. It didn't take long to recover each time, and I was back at it again, feeling even stronger… Not now… This isn't what I wanted." She shook her head and leaned back.
"I don't think anyone really expects this, Alex," Maggie said in return.
"My mom never wanted me to enlist… She was so mad when I told her. After my dad…" Alex trailed off briefly. "... I think she was mostly scared… to lose me too." Alex said, continuing to hide her face in Maggie's shirt. It was so similar to the way they had their late nights while deployed. It brought some sense of normalcy for both of them.
Maggie, knowing that if Alex was opening up now, she needed to keep her going. For Alex's sake. "What made you want to?"
"I was really lost and angry after my dad died. I graduated high school young and went to Stanford like my mom wanted me to. I went in as a bio-engineer major and was lucky enough to take flying lessons on the side. Two years later, I turned eighteen and didn't like what I was doing. I got my license to fly helicopters and stopped caring… I was one of those kids with so much potential who just flopped. Gifted programs and all that. I wanted a purpose, and I wanted to help people. I still somehow graduated by 19. I joined the army that night. I excelled through basic training and had the right mentor."
Alex yawned, fighting sleep. "It feels like I'm right back to where I was. I'm at square one again, lost and- and confused."
"You have me when you need help, Alex. Always remember that. No matter where I am or what I am doing, I will always be a call away. Promise you'll call?"
"Promise," Alex said.
"Maggie?" She asked a moment later. "I'm scared to sleep."
"Then I'll take the night watch, Danvers. I've got your six."
Eliza Danvers slipped into the room just as Alex fell asleep. She came over and kissed the top of Alex's head and then did the same to Maggie. She then quietly went across to the reclining chair and assumed her position for the night and closed her eyes.
Maggie kept vigil for all of them.
…
Eight hours later, and running on a cumulative total of two hours of sleep, Maggie had her things and was ready to leave. She stood in the doorway to Alex's hospital room, Alex looking back at her.
Maggie stood at attention and held her salute. With a nod from Alex, she lowered her arm and hand. "See you around, Danvers."
