Hello all! First and foremost, a shoutout to Bluewolfbat! He made a wonderful analytical video series based on my story (never thought that was gonna happen) awhile back entitled "Could the Pups' Personalities Represent Their Jobs?, pt. 1", so please head over to YouTube to give it a watch if you've been enjoying this story so far! Also, check out his stories on this site, featuring his OC, Snowflake! His username on YouTube is: AnimalPawPatrol.
Second, I owe a MASSIVE apology for the long wait. To keep the story short, I've moved about seven months ago into my (boyfriend's) cousin's house with him, and she's not too keen on getting good high speed internet. It's been annoying enough with that, but I also stared a new job that's a not-barista type of work, so I've had no time to actually type. It's just been a pain (love my job, hate not typing). But I've gotten a new iPad so I've been able to type on my that, and I'm trying to get drafts done at least. So please bear with me, guys! I'm sorry you had to wait so long!
Lastly, due to the craziness from this virus, I'm currently at home, as thousands of others are. Please, please stay safe during this time. I'll try my best to update a bit more... well, often.
Anyways, here is the next chapter. I had a draft half way done but fate did not want me to use it as it got delayed before I watched one of Bluewolfbat's videos and it gave me a new idea. So I'm hoping you guys will like this one! Happy feast day to all and enjoy your weekend!
Caretaker
Chapter 20-Picking Up The Pieces
Zuma seemed more relaxed than what Ryder felt as they headed home. Marshall sounded so panicky- but that would happen if you were sick and in a hospital for who knew how long, he assumed.
Ryder ran through about ten different explanation scenarios in his head as he parked his bike and caught his breath. Yeah, until he was 100 percent, bike riding was out.
"Hey, Wyder? You okay, dude?" Zuma asked as he looked in his eyes. In the spirit of feeling more like himself, he'd noticed the slight wheezing and tinted cheeks and hoped he didn't aggravate Ryder's healing.
Ryder smiled and patted his head. "Y-Yeah, Zuma. I'm good... just a bit... w-winded." He chuckled as he put his bike away. " Still not q-quite myself..."
Zuma didn't like Ryder's flushed face, but he accepted that before he looked at the entrance. Marshall was still pacing back and forth, and Zuma realized Ryder hadn't made a move to go inside.
"It's Mawshall? Wowwying you?" Zuma asked thoughtfully. Ryder sighed and shook his head as his breathing steadied and his heart stopped feeling like a drum.
"I guess I'd better get in there before he worries more, huh?"
Zuma nodded. "I'll be in my puphouse. Don't wowwy, Wyder. You got this."
With that, boy and pup went their separate ways. Ryder wasn't scared of his pup- frankly, with all that's happened, he understood why he was like he was. But he knew when Marshall got to this kind of state, there was only one thing to do.
Talk to him and get him to calm down.
Allowing the doors to slid open, Marshall immediately perked up, then charged at Ryder with more energy than normal. Ryder stepped back a brief moment, a bit thrown off by the sudden rush.
"Where were you?! You're not fully well yet and you just-you, you just LEFT?! A-And riding a bike, no less! And what if something happened to you!" Marshall was demanding angrily. "How did you expect us to find you?! HUH!?"
Ryder blinked- when was the last time Marshall got so upset like this? 'This might be hard to get a word in edgewise.' Ryder thought to himself as Marshall ranted.
"What if something happened to you?! You left your Pup Pad here, I-I couldn't get a hold of you, no-no one could REACH you! A-And what if Zuma wasn't with you?! I-I didn't-!"
Ryder leaned forward and scooped the trembling and very angry pup in his arms. "Hey, it's alright." Ryder soothed. "And you're right. I should have said something or at least brought some way for you guys to reach me. I'm sorry, for worrying you."
Marshall was struggling to hear his owner's words, but the simple fact that Ryder was still not better and he could've been hurt or stranded again, or worse-
"I just wanted to check on Zuma- he ran off and he needed a listening ear. So I went after him." Ryder explained as he carried Marshall over to his bed and sat down.
"Where is everyone? I didn't see them in their pup houses."
Marshall half heartly shrugged. "I spoke to Chase... well, I just asked if he'd seen you. He said something to me but I wasn't..."
"Really listening. I know."
Ryder absently started scratching behind Marshall's ear. After a moment, he asked, "How are you feeling, Marshall?"
"I-I don't know..." the young pup admitted. He sighed heavily and turned his head to stare at the charging Pup Pad nearby on a nightstand. "Too much is happening and I don't think I can handle anything else right now."
"That, I can understand." Ryder's expression fell slightly as he thought about his brother. "I can definitely understand that."
"Hey, uh, Ryder?"
"Yeah?"
Marshall pushed against Ryder's chest and stretched to lick his cheek. "I'm sorry for yelling at you like that. I didn't mean to and I was way out of line."
Ryder smiled warmly and shook his head. "No, Marshall. It was my fault for reacting carelessly and not communicating and making sure I listened. I know you're making sure I'm getting well, and I'll always be grateful to you for that."
Marshall giggled as Ryder patted his head. Then his expression turned serious. "But Marshall, I'm worried about you. About the others. I really feel I've put too much on you guys, especially with what happened recently..."
Marshall sighed. "It's not just that. I mean, yeah, seeing you so sick was one thing, but... I don't know. It was just... not what I expected to have happened, I guess."
He paused. Ryder saw his face scrunch up in a manner that meant only one thing- Marshal was trying to ask something. He knew he just needed to wait.
"Ryder, um... uhh, w-who... who is Alek?" Marshall wondered. At that, Ryder's expression went to pure shock. Had he mentioned something to Marshall? Did he read anything lying around his room? How did he know?
"Wait... Marshall? What brought that on?" Ryder wondered, hoping his voice was at least neutral. "Where did you hear this?"
Marshall whimpered, questioning his reasons for opening his big mouth- but he eventually answered. "I, uh... I heard you... m-mumbling... his name... in your sleep once. I wasn't trying to be nosy, I swear-!"
"Oh it's okay, Marshall." Ryder smiled lightly. "I know you weren't being nosy." He teacher around and hugged his pup tight. A plan was forming in his mind.
"Marshall. Could you do me a favor?"
"Yeah?"
"I want to talk to Skye and Rocky. Could you send Skye in here first? And I need you to send Rocky in, after one hour."
Marshall tilted his head in confusion. Ryder petted his head and gently pushed him off the bed. "Don't worry. After I'm done, I want you all in here. I have a story I'll need to share, which will answer all your questions."
Marshall still wasn't following, but listened to what he said. He hopped off his bed and went to get Skye.
"Hey, Ryder!" Skye's cheery voice perked Ryder up. He didn't realize how much he missed his aviator pup until she happily hopped in the room, eyes bright and ears perky.
"Hey, Skye. How have you been?" Ryder asked. Hopping on the bed with a lot more energy than she felt she had in days, she licked Ryder's face and cheeks before settling down on his legs. Ryder scratched behind Skye's ear, earning a content sigh and leg tap from her.
"Hahaha, I missed this, too!" Ryder laughed as Skye hopped in his arms for a thank you hug and kiss.
"Well, I can definitely say that I'm glad that you're alright and home, Ryder." Skye replied with a genuine smile. "We really missed you around."
Ryder could see what she meant. "I missed you guys, too. That hospital just wasn't for me, and I couldn't wait to get out of there. Skye, I was so tired but I felt so weak and helpless, you know?" He sighed. " It felt like I was letting you all down."
Skye smiled tiredly. "I think we all know that feeling. Especially the first few days after we took you to the hospital." She then got in Ryder's face, sensing that "beating up self" thing he was becoming more prone of doing as of recent. 'Self-loathing, maybe? No, he doesn't HATE hate himself... but he's definitely hard on himself. Guess that's where Chase gets it from.'
"Ryder. You're making that face again. Stop it." she said firmly. "It's bad enough Chase and Marshall do that, like, every day!"
"I-I,uh, well..." Ryder lowered his head in shame. "I'm sorry. I know, it's not helping anyone right now. But I'm so-"
"Tired? Angry? Guilty?" Skye finished sadly, catching Ryder off guard. Before he could reply, she continued.
"Trust me, I was, too. But I'm not tired like I want to sleep, even though at times I did that just to get away from the arguing and questions and rescues!" She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"It's like, I'm tired of Adventure Bay altogether, Ryder. I just want a space to myself and just cry or scream, or-or something! So I-I was mostly in my pup house."
"Mostly?"
Skye felt a bit guilt for admitting that. She lowered her eyes and nodded. "Yeah, mostly. I spent time breaking up fights between Chase and Marshall, checking in Rubble and Zuma, keeping everyone from killing each other."
"Oh, Skye, you, too..." Ryder scratched behind her ear in a way to let her know he wasn't mad-not at the pups, at least. Regardless of what she'd said before, he was feeling worse than before. Him being sick was affecting the pups in a way he'd never seen before. Being ten years old, he had to remind himself that he didn't know how to handle everything, at least, not things this complex.
They were just kids. Just kids who-
"We're growing up so fast, aren't we." Ryder sounded almost nostalgic about the whole thing, as if he was far older than what he was. Skye couldn't really say he was wrong-they were young physically, but they were definity far more mature than most of the adults they saved day in and out.
"Yeah... we are." Skye agreed and the pair sat in silence for awhile.
"Hey, um, Ryder?"
"Yeah?"
Skye peered up at him, wanting to see his response to this question. "Are you really alright?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, I know you're getting better, physically. I'm so glad we have you home, to see and know you're better. But..."
Skye paused, phrasing the next words carefully. "I guess what I'm asking is how do you feel? Mentally? Not physically, just, you know. Mentally." she finished with a nervous laugh. "Sorry, I must sound so weird right now-"
Ryder dimissed it. "No, no. Skye, you are you not "weird sounding". In fact, you're acting like I should be."
"W-wait, what? I am?" Skye asked, slightly confused. Ryder nodded and finally swung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up. He stretched and sighed, feeling a bit better that he was sitting up and not stuck laying down like he was before.
"Ahh! Feels way better now that I'm sitting up!" He exclaimed happily, causing Skye to chuckle a litttle. Ryder did as well, just happy to be up.
"So? How do you feel, Ryder?" she asked again. Ryder hummed in thought.
"I think I'll feel better once I get what I need to say out of my chest." He answered with such sincerity that Skye almost didn't want to ask any other questions. But ask she did.
"What do you mean, Ryder?" she asked. Ryder looked at no particular spot on the ground, his hands lightly clasped together.
"I need to tell you pups something. Something I should have told you a long time ago, or at least... when we formed the PAW Patrol." he explained. "But first, I need to talk to Rocky. How has he been?"
Skyes face fell. "Well, things were kind of... well, hard. Especially the first few days when you fell ill. Then it was pretty much like I said before- stress, guilt, and anger."
Ryder bit his tongue. This would definitly require them all to be together, to have everyone hear how each other really felt. So he made up his mind.
"Skye. My PupPad is dying. Could you do me a favor and call everyone?"
Skye sat up, head tilted to one side. "Sure, Ryder. But, umm... why? Didn't you want to talk to Rocky alone?"
"Yeah, but I'm seeing now this isn't the way. It's better for all of them to hear what you just told me, and what I need to say. Get them all, please?"
"...y-yeah. Got it." Skye couldn't find anything else to say so she left to get the rest of the team.
Once she left, Ryder made a mental note to visit his brothers resting place- and to bring the pups so that they could meet him. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, coughing a bit as he settled and waited for his pups. He knew he couldn't have a proper speech ready like he usually did, so he would just have to be open.
"It keeps getting harder and harder, doesn't it?" he mumbled to himself.
"Was he play? Skye, what's going on?!" Chat kept asking as Skye ushered them down to the bed. Skye just shook her head as she lead the way.
"I don't really get it myself, Chase. He seems like he's getting much better, but..." She sighed. "I don't know, it seems like something is really heavy is on his mind."
Char frowned; sure, Ryder had a pretty messed up past-that was probably the reason why he was calling them now-but why didn't he call Rocky like planned?
"Wait a minute-what happened to Ryder talking to all of us? Like, one at a time?" Rubble asked. "Rocky didn't get his turn!"
Rocky, for the most part, didn't seem too concerned about it. "Ehhhhh, I don't mind. Besides, if I at least talk to Ryder while were all together, it'll make things a little easier to handle in the long run. You know?"
"Yeah, that's true." Chase agreed. Marshall tapped his shoulder.
"You're not nervous, are you?" He asked. Chase shook his head no.
"It's not that I'm nervous or anything, but- " He ran into something soft before he could finish. Ryder waited for them with a smile.
"Hey, pups. It sure feels like a long time since I've seen you guys." He said warmly. "Can you guys come over? There is a lot I need to catch you up on."
One by one, the pups came in, a bit nervous. Well, except for Chase, who had a feeling what Ryder was going to say-and was partly relieved that he was going to talk. But a small part of him did wonder if the others would be upset at him for not saying anything sooner.
"Ryder...?" Marshall was scrutinizing the boy as he hopped on the bed, making sure there was no bruise or anything that Ryder could try to play off as 'okay'. "Is everything alright? Are you hurt? Feeling funny? Something bothering you? Do we need to call Cynthia again? Are-"
Ryder put his hand up to silence his pups. "Relax, pups. I'll explain. But first..."
He motioned to Chase to come closer. Chase gulped but stood firm as he sat next to him.
'It's about time. Frankly, when he was done forming the PAW Patrol, he should have said something. But with the rescues, the constant news conferences, the lack of rest and relaxation, there was no way he would have had time to mention anything to them!' he thought as he looked his teammates in the eyes.
'But then again... it's not like this would be easy to talk about, either. People's past isn't always easy to bring up. And Ryder is only 10. He hasn't lived enough of a life but what he HAS lived... it sucks. And I'm sure it's painful enough knowing your family blames you for something you would have had no control over. Ryder..."
Ryder sat cross-legged on the bed, petting Chase, and occasionally coughing as well. "So, pups... this isn't easy to talk about or say... or think about, honestly. But here we go, I guess."
He took a deep breath, exhaled. "Originally, I wanted to talk to each of you individually because I was worried about you all. I thought that if I worried about your, well, I wouldn't need to worry about my own issues, I suppose."
The pups whined, but Chase shook his head and out his paw up. "Hang on a moment, pups. Let him finish."
Ryder smiled in thanks before he felt an annoying light tickle in the back of his throat. He cleared his voice, hoping Marshall, for once, wouldn't have noticed that.
"As I was saying, pups, my life before Adventure Bay, before the PAW Patrol, before I became who I am now, it wasn't what you would have expected. I... well, I..."
The same tickle came back again, a bit more annoying than before. Ryder knocked his chest a bit, which of course, alerted Marshall to him. Ryder pushed him back a bit and tried to shake his head.
"Don't worry, Marshall. I'm fine..." Ryder panted. " Just got a tickle in my throat; remember, I'm not fully better yet." He cleared his throat and tried again.
"A lot happened to me, ever since I was basically born. Chase was there for some of it, so I made him kind of promise..." Ryder coughed again, leaving Marshall wondering what was going on. Wasn't he supposed to be getting better? Wait, he HAD been getting better! At least, that's what Ryder said!
"Ryder? Ryder, you're turning red!" Marshall exclaimed as he barked out his thermometer. 'I knew it! He keeps pushing himself too dang hard! His body hasn't had time to heal from all this!'
As Marshall stock the thermometer in his mouth and noted his temp, the others surrounded them, concern and worry all across their face. Marshall chewed his lip as he looked at the thermometer.
"M-Marshall...?" Rubble asked hesitatingly. "I-Is he...?"
"No fever, thankfully. But his body is heating up a bit higher than normal." Marshall mumbled mostly to himself. He sighed as the number showed 99.4 degrees Fahrenheit. "It's okay, guys. Ryder's telling the truth- he's okay."
Chase leaned in, trying to see what Marshall was saying. He thought about the scare at hand. "Guys, whatever Ryder was going to tell us, I think it better wait." Chase decided. He placed a paw on Marshall's shoulder.
"Marshall, you're the most experienced of us with this kind of thing. What should we do?" Chase asked. Marshall almost didn't hear what was asked of him; his eyes were focused on Ryder, and what he needed to do to keep Ryder home.
"Hey, uh, Marshall-?" The young dally jumped out of his skin, startled from his thoughts.
"Sorry, sorry!" Chase had his paws up in peace. " But, uh, what are we supposed to do?"
Marshall blanked out for a split second before he heard Chase's question proper, and saw the worried looks of his friends. Then he looked down at Ryder, who was laying back down and slightly wheezing from all his coughing.
"Well, the good news is that Ryder isn't too bad. He doesn't have a fever, just the coughing. But it's wearing him out faster than normal because he's still not 100 percent." Marshall explained. He barked his thermometer away.
The others all let out sighs of relief as well- no really bad news. Marshall tugged Ryder's blanket over him as he tried to sit back up- he has been feeling so much stronger than this! What happened?
"Well, what should we do?" Rubble asked worriedly. "Should we take him to see Miss Cynthia again?"
Rocky sat up and looked at Marshall and Chase. "I'm no leader, but guys, I really think he needs to go. There might be something else going on with him that we don't know about yet."
"Something else? But we just got him out the hospital!" Rubble exclaimed. "Does that mean we have to back there again?"
At that, Ryder struggled to sit up, overhearing enough of the pups conversation. He didn't want them to have to make another round to the hospital, not after all the time he spent there already, not after it took them so long to get him home.
"N-no, pups. No hospital trip." Ryder insisted. "I-I'm okay, really. Just... just a little winded, that's all." He chuckled weakly. "Think I may o-of overdid it a little, really. Don't worry."
None of the pups believed a word of Ryder's claim, but since he was still their true leader, there wasn't a whole lot they could do, not even Marshall. Said pup was hovering worriedly over Ryder, taking into account everything that the others were saying.
"Ryder, you should probably go to your next appointment a little earlier than planned. Just to check and make sure everything is alright, you know?" Chase sighed heavily and sat back on his hunches. The others smiled at his decision.
Ryder looked at them all. He was silent in thought. 'This whole time, I thought I was doing a good job keeping things away from them. I thought that they be fine if I just pretended to act like I was fine. But it looks like I was completely, utterly writing. About a lot of things. Mostly about my own pups.'
"Pups..." Ryder started. They all looked up at him.
"We can go to the hospital. But I'm not going to until I say what I have to say first." Ryder seemed pretty determined to get what he wanted to say off his chest. Chase and Marshall both groaned, but decided to respect his leader's decision.
Ryder was starting to feel a slight pain in his head and chest, but pushed it aside for now. He crossed his legs, inhaled and exhaled deeply. "This is something that had bothering me for a very long time now. Well, it's lot of things, really. Mostly things from my past, things that I should have said before."
"Your past, Ryder?" Skye asked, wondering if that had anything to do with what they personally talked about earlier. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about what happened before I met you all, before I became the PAW Patrol. Basically, who I was before you knew me as, well, Ryder."
Marshall, who has been trying not to bring up what he'd heard at the hospital, blurted it, "Does that mean you'll tell us about Alek?"
Ryder nodded before coughing. Everyone else looked at him, confused. "Who's Alek?" they asked simultaneously.
Before Ryder had a chance to answer, Marshall out his paw up. "Hey, guys. I'm just as curious as you are, but let's let Ryder rest. We need to call Miss Cynthia and tell her we're making a return trip."
"But, pups-"
"No buts! Ryder, you did ride a bike to catch Zuma earlier and you're trying to do that forcing things again. And you're still coughing!" Marshall argued. Then his voice softened.
"Just rest. Alek, your past, us... it can wait."
Ryder wasn't having it, though. He wanted to get it off his chest, sickness be darned. "Marshall. Pups. Please, just listen. I'm still going to be stuck for a little while. So while I can..."
They all stopped, looking at one another with uncertainty. Marshall bit his lip in worry. Ryder was a bit more determined than usual, so this was very important to him. Finally, Marshall relented.
"Okay. Okay, Ryder. But I'm watching you, and the minute your temperature goes up or something changed slightly we are going to the doctor. Deal?"
Ryder smiled. " Deal."
FINALLY! End freaking chapter! JEEZ!
So a few things-one, this chapter took WAY too long(did I not mention that before? -_-) It was also my hardest chapter to write for a few reasons. The big one being I was receiving so many wonderful ideas and I didn't want to feel like I wasn't listening to everyone who read my disaster chapter and offered them to me. So a special shoutout to the following: Bluewolfbat, MarshallV2018, and Dargur. Thank you!
The second reason was as I mentioned before in my AU-I moved seven months ago, and I'm getting ready to move out again. Also, me and my boyfriend had a lot going on so I lost a LOT of interest in writing altogether. Things aren't perfect, but it's better, especially since I'm actively searching for my new place before school starts. So basically, life happened.
I think I covered everything so far in regards to life, so now for this FanFiction. There are roughly five to six chapters left, most of which I've drafted already. Due to this quarantine, I know I'll have more time on my hands to update and that's what I'm going to do.
I truly hope everyone is staying safe during this time, and once again thank you so, so much for being so patient with me.
Until next chapter!
