Chapter 17 – In Search of Lenses
I don't own Voltron Legendary Defender. I'm taking the characters out for a spin. It's time for a comedic break.
Shiro and the others gathered on the bridge. They needed to figure out what to do next. "Okay, look. We know for certain that Zarkon is tracking us through the Black Lion. We have to find some way to stop him."
Pidge gazed at him. "How are we gonna do that?"
Allura frowned. "We've never had this situation before. Two paladins battling for the same lion."
Shiro pat his thigh with the fingers of his human hand. "Well, unless we want Zarkon taking control of Voltron every time we get close, I'll have to forge a new bond with my lion. One that's stronger than his."
Coran turned to Shiro. "Well, while you're working on that, the rest of us need to find some new Teludav lenses; otherwise, we won't be able to travel via wormhole."
Hunk rubbed at his chin. "Is that something we have to mail order?"
Adam shook his head. "I don't think that's a thing out here in space, Hunk."
"Oh."
Keith gazed at Coran. "Does anyone even make those anymore?"
Allura gazed at them. "I don't know. Only a few Alteans could use the Teludav ten thousand years ago. May not even exist anymore."
Coran twisted one side of his mustache and released it. "I think I may know where we can get some."
Adam flinched and leaned over to Shiro. "How does he do that without hurting himself?"
Shiro shrugged.
Coran walked to his station and brought up some images of a humanoid species that had four arms.
Allura stared at the viewing screen and crossed her arms over her body. "You're not suggesting going to one of those filthy swap moons! The last time you went, those space pirates took you for everything you had."
Lance stared at the screen. "Space pirates?"
Coran enlarged the pictures of the humanoids. "The Unilu were traders and pirates that roamed the galaxies and dealt in black market goods. Of course, you had to bargain. No one could bargain like the Unilu." A quick laugh escaped from the Altean. "Last time, I ended up giving away three-quarters of my shipment of lango in exchange for a used pogo oscillator."
Hunk scratched at the back of his head. "Is that anything like a motorized pogo stick?"
Adam shrugged. "No clue."
Allura grinned at the former royal advisor. "Father was not pleased about that."
Lance sighed, gaining Allura's attention. He stepped up closer to her. "Well, while Coran is picking up his lenses, I take you shopping for something sparkly."
Coran suddenly popped up between Lance and Allura. He leaned over Lance with his hands doubled up into fists. "This isn't shopping! No! I can't allow Allura anywhere near those filthy, lowballing Unilu hoodlums."
Allura smiled at Coran with one of her best smiles that would have caused King Alfor to cave in to one of her wishes. She grasped her hands together under her chin. "But I'd love something sparkly."
Coran shook his head. "Look, you're the only one who can operate the Castle. You need to be resting after all you've been through."
Allura's shoulders sagged as she deflated.
Coran continued to speak as he walked away. "We need to get in, find the scaultrite lenses, and get out."
Lance yelled, "Shotgun," as he ran after the older Altean.
Hunk reached out for Lance but missed. "What? No, you have to be in the pod bay to call shotgun." He ran after Lance.
Lance stopped, turned, and smirked at the teen. "Since when?"
"Since forever? That's shotgun etiquette. I wrote the book."
Pidge trotted after the two teens.
Keith let out a sigh and trudged behind.
Shiro watched them, but his worry for Keith was apparent. However, he didn't say a thing. "While they're doing that, I'm going to head down to the hangar. I have to strengthen my bond with the Black Lion." He turned to Adam. "What are you going to do?"
Adam rubbed a hand against his chin as he stuck the other in his pocket. "I had thought about learning more Altean. But I'd better go with them. Lance has a way of getting into trouble when he's not looking for it."
Shiro smirked. "He does at that." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Adams and wrapped his arms around his fiancée. Adam wrapped his arms around Shiro and rubbed his hands along Takashi's back.
As they separated, Shiro spoke softly. "I'll miss you every second your away."
Adam leaned his forehead against Shiro's. "Me too."
Coran's voice came over the speaker in the back of the pod. "Hello? Back passengers? Can you hear me?"
Lance's voice came over the speaker, and he let out a little chuckle. "Oh, it's so comfy up here. Extra legroom, heated seats! Oh, Man!"
Hunk folded his arms across his chest. "Stupid Lance. Stupid shotgun."
Adam pushed his booted foot against Hunk's, getting the teen's attention. "Don't get all bent outta shape. I'm sure you'll get another chance to ride in the cockpit of a pod again. Like your first trip to the Balmera to get a crystal."
"Yeah, but does he have to rub it in?"
Keith didn't bother opening an eye. "No, he can't help himself."
Coran, who had no idea of what was going on in the back of the pod, began to impart his wisdom. "Now these swap moons are dangerous environments. So be on your toes. No weapons or communication devices of any kind! Also, I've brought along some disguises."
Adam blinked as he glanced at the others. "Did I hear him, right? Did he say disguises?"
Pidge nodded. "Yeah, you did. What's up with that?"
Coran landed the pod and insisted they put their disguises on before entering what he remembered as a swap moon but was now a sizeable sprawling complex with several stories of shops.
They entered the building, which turned out to be a mall that looked quite similar to malls on Earth. Music played over a sound system.
Pidge was the first to speak up as the others stared around them. "Uh, Coran? This Unilu swap meet looks an awful lot like a regular mall."
The older man glanced around. "It does seem to be a little cleaner than I remember. Still, be vigilant. The Unilu are cut-throat wheeler-dealers. So keep your hands on your coin satchels."
Hunk reached into his pocket, pulling it inside out. "My satchels are empty."
"Good."
Keith let out a sigh. "Let's get this over with."
Coran nodded. "Yes, right. Everyone, lets fan out, search the area for Teludav lenses. We'll meet by the giant ticking clock in one varga. Don't be late, and try to blend in."
As Coran walked out of hearing range, Adam sighed in relief. "Ditch the disguises, guys. We'll blend in easier in our clothes."
They took off the disguises and dumped them in a trash can. Then they split up. Hunk went off in one direction, Keith another, but Adam stuck with Pidge and Lance.
Lance glanced over at Adam. "I don't need a babysitter, you know."
Adam snorted. "Yeah, right. I can think of a few things you've gotten yourself into at the Garrison."
Lance placed his hand on his chest. "Those weren't my fault. Hunk got hungry, so we snuck down to the commissary, looking for a snack."
Adam nodded. "And was that all Hunk's doing?"
Lance looked left then right before focusing on Adam again. "Uhm, well, no."
Adam nodded again, then smirked at the teenager. "And what's this business with Jenny Shepard? You've never explained that one."
Lance sighed. "Well, she had the hots for Keith, and well, he never gave anyone a second look, so I tried to pick her up on the rebound. And she mistook the situation."
Pidge perked up. "The same Jenny Shepard, who dumped her meal tray all over you?"
Lance stuck his hands in his pockets. "Yeah." He looked away from them for a minute before focusing on them again. "Can we talk about something else?"
Pidge stopped walking. "Uh, guys, I have got to go to the bathroom."
Adam pointed to something that suspiciously looked like it could be the bathroom. "I think there's one over there. It's at least in the position where a bathroom would be."
Lance gazed at her. "Couldn't you have gone before we left?"
Pidge sighed. "I didn't have to go then, you, Dorkasaurus."
"What? What did you call me?" Lance spluttered.
She spun on her heel as she hurried away. She said, "You heard me."
Adam chuckled.
Lance stopped in front of a store, noticing two alien females watching him and Adam from the opposite side of the hall in the window's reflection. He ran a hand through his hair, pointed finger guns at them, and flashed his best smile at them. They both giggled.
Adam jabbed the Blue Paladin in the side with his elbow. "We're not here for you to flirt," he hissed.
Lance turned and scowled at his cousin. "Would you stop cramping my style."
Adam leaned in closer. "Don't you realize that if someone here recognizes us, then we'll be running again. I'm tired of running from Zarkon. Now get with the program!"
An alien stepped out of the store. It was gray with big black eyes and wore a hat with the number 51 on it. "Can I interest you in the latest Earth fashions?"
Pidge ran up to Lance and Adam. "Guys, come on! We have to be back at the ticking clock in a half-hour."
Lance turned to her. "But Pidge, wait, look at this crazy Earth stuff this alien is selling!"
Pidge pushed her glasses up her nose. "We're supposed to be looking for Teludav lenses, and you're looking in the one store we know for certain won't have—" She saw something out of the corner of her eye and became all excited. "Oh, my gosh! Is that Killbot Phantasm 1?" She picked up the game box. "The first journey to the depths of the demon sphere? Oh! Mercury Gameflux Two!" She set the game down and picked up the game console box. "With the original power glove that gives you infinite lives if you touch the index finger to the pinky! We have to have this!" She hugged the box. "How much is this?"
The alien looked at her. "Twelve hundred GAC."
Pidge stared at Lance and Adam. "Is that a lot?"
Lance grabbed his chin while he gazed up at the ceiling. "Well, compared to what we have, which is none, yes. It's a lot."
Pidge set the game console box down. She grabbed Lance by the arm. "We're gonna find some money. Come on!" She turned to the alien. "Don't sell that!"
The alien frowned. "Don't worry. I never sell anything."
Adam frowned as he held the teen's shoes with their socks stuffed inside and Lance's jacket. "Is this necessary?"
The pair of teens ignored him as they raided the bottom of the decorative water fountain for coins. Pidge picked up a coin and stared at it for a moment before slipping it into her pocket. She stood up. "Oh, this tender looks like the last one. So, how much have we got?"
Lance stood up. A math whiz in Calculus and Trigonometry, he wasn't. But money and judging wind speeds he was good at. He mentally calculated the money. "Eleven hundred and ninety-six GAC."
Pidge bent low, looking like a boxer ready to throw a punch. "We're so close!" A flash of metal caught her attention. An alien child stood close to the fountain making a wish while it held the coin in its hand. She pointed toward the child. "Lance, look!"
The Blue Paladin took off like a shot from a cannon running through the water toward the child. "Already on it!"
The child threw the coin. Before it got near the water, Lance caught the coin between his teeth.
Pidge, giddy with excitement, climbed out of the fountain and yanked her shoes out of Adam's hand. "Yeah! Let's go!" She took off running for the Earth store.
Lance laughed as he pulled the coin out from between his teeth after following Pidge out of the fountain. He spun and yelled at the alien, "Thanks!" He yanked his shoes out of Adam's hand and chased after the Green Paladin."
Adam still carried Lance's jacket as he followed them. He shook his head as he muttered to himself. "And I thought Lance and Hunk would drive me to drink. Pidge and Lance are worse!"
Lance and Pidge were walking out of the Earth store when the gray alien shouted, "Hold on!" as he trotted after them. He held a cord that led to a large hoverboard carrying a cow. He handed the cable to the Blue Paladin. "With every purchase, you get a free Kaltenecker."
Hunk ran past and shouted, "Time to get moving guys!"
Adam rubbed his forehead. "Can this day get any crazier?"
Keith ran past, shouting, "Security's on our tail!"
A large Galra on a hoverbike saw Pidge, Lance, and Adam. "There's the rest of the crew!"
Lance, Pidge, and Adam all spurred into action, running after the other paladins while the Blue Paladin pulled the hoverboard with Kaltenecker on it behind him. They panted as they ran.
Lance jumped up on the cow's back. He reached down and grabbed Pidge by the hand and pulled her up behind him. "Everybody up on Kaltenecker."
Adam jumped up behind Pidge and helped Keith up behind him. Keith, in turn, helped Hunk up behind him.
The Yellow Paladin seemed a bit stupefied at first but found his voice. "Did you buy a cow?"
Pidge shook her head. "It was free with purchase!"
They rode the cow over the balcony as the security guard rode his hoverbike down the escalator.
As the hoverboard flew down a hall, Pidge saw Coran step out of a shop. "There he is!"
Keith shouted at him. "We've got to go, Coran!"
Coran ran beside the cow and reached out. Keith caught his hand. "I got the scaultrite lenses!"
The security guard chased them until they reached the exit hallway when the guard stopped.
Lance found out the hard way that you shouldn't stand up on a moving Kaltenecker when his head hit a low beam even if it was to make fun of a Galra.
Adam sighed. "I can't take you anywhere."
The hoverboard stopped moving, and Adam climbed off the cow. He reached down and grabbed his cousin off the floor. "I'll take care of your head in the ship."
They returned to the Castle of Lions and stepped onto the bridge. Coran ran and announced. "We got the lenses!"
Allura stood with the mice scolding her for upsetting them while they were supposed to be fixing her hair. "Excellent! Now we can get the Teludav up and running again."
Keith looked around. "Where's Shiro?"
The door to the bridge opened behind them, and the Black Paladin stepped through the doorway.
Allura stared at him. "What did you do? Take a nap?"
Shiro stepped up to them as a smirk pulled at his mouth, and amusement flashed in his eyes as he gazed at the Princess's hair. "Not exactly." He crossed his arms over his body. He noticed a new smell and craned his head over to look at Lance and the animal beside him. "Is that a cow?"
"Mm-hmm, his name is Kaltenecker."
Kaltenecker mooed at Shiro.
Hunk leaned over to Adam. "Hasn't he figured out that it's a female?"
Adam's eyebrows rose as he turned to Hunk. "I guess I'll have to explain that to him later."
Keith gazed at Shiro. "So, did you find a way to bond with your lion?"
Shiro nodded. "Yes, and we need to get moving. We're headed for the Blade of Marmora's headquarters."
Coran turned and ran toward his console. "I'll plot a course."
Pidge could barely hold in her excitement. "While you're doing that, I'm gonna hook up the video game Lance, and I bought."
Lance joined her as she opened the box. "Yeah! Let's this baby set up."
Pidge looked around, looking for a place to hook the incompatible Earth game to Altean Tech. "Where can we—" she paused as she stared at the cord in her hand. "How do—" realization struck her as she screamed.
Shiro wrapped an arm around Adam's waist. "How was your trip to the swap moon."
Adam shook his head. "Never again am I going to a place like that again with those two," he motioned to Pidge and Lance. "To get the money to buy that, do you know they raided a fountain. And they bought it from a store that sells probably stolen merchandise from Earth by, would you believe, a gray."
Shiro jerked his head back. "A gray?"
Adam chuckled slightly. "Yeah, a gray, and he was wearing a 51 hat. You know, like in Area 51."
Shiro chuckled. "Sounds like it was interesting."
Adam sighed. "I think I need some Nunvill. Care to join me?"
Shiro shook his head. "Nope, you can have all you want of that."
Hunk rubbed his hands together. "I'm going to go see what I rig up to make some real dairy products out of the milk we're going to get from Kaltenecker. Imagine it real cheese, butter, and hey, maybe even some milkshakes." He grabbed the cord to Kaltenecker's hoverboard. "Come on, Kaltenecker. I'll go get you settled down somewhere."
Kaltenecker mooed again.
