Author's Beginning Notes: PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING: Mentions of non-consensual sex trigger warning ahead involving a side character when the story changes to all italics.
Hazbin Hotel Patient Admission Form
Sinner: Tamara M. Lynn
Date of Death: May 16, 2021 Age at the time of Death: 26 Sex: F Preferred Pronouns: She/Her
Have you committed any crimes/sins against minors?: No
Do you consent to a background check?: Yes
Will you commit to group therapy every Friday at 2 p.m.?: Yes
Will you commit to once a week private therapy sessions that you will schedule with your assigned therapist?: Yes
Do you agree to abide by all Hazbin Hotel's rules?: Yes
*Go to pages 2-4 for additional details and terms*
Why have you chosen to be admitted into Hazbin Hotel?
Redemption is my only chance left to bring my happiness back.
Date Approved: January 20, 2023 Approved By:Charlie Magne
Date of Admission: February 2, 2023 Patient Signature: Tamara Lynn
Only for Hotel Staff Use:
Autopsy Report Summary
Manner of Death: Accident
Cause of Death: Smoke inhalation leading to respiratory failure and cardiac arrest.
*Important Note: Large traces of methamphetamine was found in the deceased upon time of death.
Documented/Reported Crimes: June 23, 2009 - 1 Count of Shoplifting
September 16, 2011- 1 Speeding Ticket
August 9, 2012- 1 Count of Underage drinking
November 22, 2020 – 1 Speeding Ticket
Suspected Sins: Stealing
Heavy drug and alcohol abuse
Charlie examined the document in front of her as well as Tammy's documented therapy notes from her therapist. She was determined to get Tammy to open up during today's group therapy session….even though today might not be the best day to do that. The reason being, just earlier that day, Charlie had finally snapped at the she-wolf.
She could understand Tammy's excitement; even Charlie herself was ecstatic about the little kicks and movements she felt, but boundaries needed to be established. Nearly every time the two were in the same room together it always led to the she-wolf 'groping' Charlie's growing bump. Which the blonde demoness discussed with her that she wouldn't mind if she were to ask first. And she did ask most of the time, but this morning the she-wolf accidently did it without thinking. Charlie probably wouldn't have snapped; however, she didn't get enough sleep last night, worsening her already fogged pregnancy brain and her mood.
To add to her already bad mood the ultrasound pictures were never recovered. Alastor's shadow came back with squat. They concluded that maybe Nifty or one of the maids accidently threw them out, but she swore that she didn't. Despite Nifty proclaiming her innocence Charlie couldn't help but doubt the little cyclops as her latest ultrasound pictures from her last appointment also went missing, Al's shadow coming back with squat again. Charlie concluded that her sleep deprived, fogged brain was officially making her go crazy. Dr. Vex was able to give her copies and advised her to stop drinking so much water before bed to see if that would help keep her asleep throughout the night. And that did help….until her child decided to take up gymnastics in her pelvis.
She sighed and allowed her body to sink into the plush red chair, taking a quick glance at the clock on the lounge room wall as it read 1:30 p.m. Only thirty minutes until everybody came downstairs and attended their session in one of the many first floor lounge rooms.
Charlie glanced back down at the six vanilla folders in her hand. Which meant six files, six demons in her group this week, and six stories to discuss; but only five were opening up about their stories. And she still hadn't come up with a game plan to get Tammy to open about hers, and she was beginning to doubt that she would be able to today.
A loud rumble of thunder cracked across the sky as lightning struck close by, briefly lighting up the room with blinding white light, making the demoness slightly jump. It was a rare occasion when it rained down here in Hell, but when it did it would hit hard. Heavy downpour, bright but beautiful lightening dancing across the darkened red sky, and very loud thunder. Which wasn't just startling Charlie.
"Good to know your hearing and reflexes work." Charlie softly smiled as she looked down and placed her hand on the side of her stomach, the little one kicking up their own storm. "It's okay. I don't like it when it storms either." She said as she continued to rub her hand over the spot. "But after it storms like this, we have the most beautiful rainbows appear that I can't wait for you to see. Al- your dad," she corrected herself, "thinks it's silly that I get so hyped up about them, but he's the one who's really missing out." She rambled on as she continued to move her hand around her 25-week bump, finding it to be rather soothing as the random kicks went from being spastic to more focused where her hand was. "I also can't wait for you to see your new room, granted, you'll be sleeping in my room for awhile but your nursery is almost done. I painted so many rainbows, clouds, and puppies on your bedroom walls, I hope you love it. Although, most of your furniture is red and black. The room really clashes." She pondered for a moment. "I guess a color scheme would be easier to decide on if we knew what your gender was, but I want it to be a surprise. Your dad is kind of hoping you're a boy, but I could care less."
The sound of a door opening brought her out of ramble as Lily entered the room, pushing in a cart filled with cookies, napkins, lemonade, cups, and Charlie's latest craving of apple juice. The horned demoness's skin was a couple shades darker and her freckles really popped out after her weeklong honeymoon with her wife. Now she was back at the hotel and ready to get back into a regular schedule again.
"I bet my marigolds are loving this right now after that long drought we've had, although, I'm still not much of a fan of the weather here." Lily commented as she grabbed herself a cookie and began to pour a cup of apple juice for Charlie.
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but what was the weather like where you're from? Upstairs I mean?" Charlie asked as Lily handed her the drink.
"Oh no, I don't mind at all." The horned demoness stated as she took a seat next to Charlie. "I sometimes forget that you've never lived a human life and that you've never seen a sky that wasn't red." Lily added as she took a bite of her cookie. "Which upstairs is usually very blue during the day when it's not storming or cloudy. It's definitely a much different color palette compared to down here." She said in between bites.
"What was it like?" Charlie inquired, curious to hear about a world that wasn't so heavily saturated with reds and pinks.
"Well," she thought for a second as she got comfortable in one of the closest chairs next to Charlie in the makeshift circle Razzle and Dazzle had arranged earlier with the chairs, "blue skies for one. And orange sunsets that would add a gold hue to everything in the evening. But now that I'm thinking back on all of it, I think I kind of miss the color green. New growth in the gardens, freshly cut grass during the summer, blooming flowers in the spring, and weekend farmer's markets." Lily said, sounding a little sad as she dusted the cookie crumbs off her lap. "But I have a little garden going on back at the apartment and so many potted plants. Vaggie and I even have names for each one." She smiled. "It's not much compared to what I once had, but it's something."
Charlie listened intently as Lily discussed the little tidbits of her mortal life. "That all sounds really amazing!"
The facial expression Lily made next was not one Charlie was expecting. The picture Lily had been painting seemed like a happy one, so Charlie was a little confused as she saw the sweet, freckled face demoness's face fall and grimace. "It actually….really wasn't. Despite what I've said about missing the colors…..living was my hell."
##########
For as long as she could remember, she always thought girls were pretty. The first time she heard the term 'crush' she immediately thought of one of the brunettes in her first-grade class. She would get the sensation of butterflies in her stomach every time she thought about sharing her gummy bears with the girl during lunch or holding hands with her at recess. During those early years of childhood, Lily was happy. But then her family moved, quickly joining a new church along with the move. And she soon learned that in her zealously religious household, a girl having butterfly feelings for another girl was unacceptable. Wanting to appease her already strict parents and be accepted by her church, she hid that part of herself for almost the whole duration of her life breathing among the living.
But she was pretty sure that was not what ended her up in Hell.
Lily considered her life to be normal. She attended the school near her home that her parents wanted her to attend, where the rest of her church's children went, she earned good grades, was a part of the gardening club, came home on time, participated in her church's nightly ceremonies, and kept up with her chores. The only thing she considered 'not normal' were the weird looks and stares she would get when her and the other members from her church walked into town. She talked to a few nice people outside her family and church every once in a while; however, some people weren't very nice. Murmurs of 'crazy plant people' and 'children of the corn' would reach her ears, those comments she ignored.
She had her botany lectures to keep herself busy and productive, she had her plants, and she had the tightknit love and sense of community with her church. She should be happy? Right? However, everyday she felt more and more like she was only going through the motions. Wake up, make her bed, pray at the still very much blood-soaked, ivy covered shrine, tend to her garden outback, attend lecture, visit the gardening club, study, be home by exactly 5 p.m., eat dinner with mom and dad, dress in the dark purple robes, go to church, sing at mass and listen to the holy prophet preach his words of wisdom, slaughter the small animal on the sacrificial alter, make sure to leave a small cup of the new blood on the shrine after cleaning off the old blood, shower and get ready for bed, say goodnight to mom and dad, sleep eight hours, and then rinse and repeat. A life she felt like she was becoming more and more detached from, losing faith in day by day, hiding behind a smiling mask that everything was fine.
Lily may have been losing her faith and trust with her own wants and identity, but she still had faith and trust with her parents. Their rules had always been considered to be the equivalent to the laws of the Gateway Society's scripture. That's why, shortly after her twenty-first birthday, she didn't say one opposing word when they told her that the prophet's son really liked her.
Lily initially didn't really have much of an opinion of him. She had gotten to know him during church related activities and mission trips, overall, she thought of him as okayish, she certainly wasn't attracted to him. But her parents seemed ecstatic about the new development and the Gateway Society immediately approved, so to appease them she allowed him to court her and take her out on dates.
As the months wore on and their one-sided relationship continued, she never saw the red flags, never could have predicted what would eventually happen, and didn't see how she could have prevented it with how her parents had raised her.
She didn't think it was strange when he came over when her parents were gone on one of their many mission trips that weekend, so devoted to the prophet and the Gateway Society's goals. The young man sometimes visited her doing those weekends just to say hi or to bring her a bouquet of flowers, which would then lead to her letting him in and treating him to some tea made from ingredients from her garden. They would chat, like usual, discussing their classes, their future date plans, church activities, etc. And when he asked if she wanted to watch a movie he brought over, one of the few their church approved of, she said yes, feeling comfortable sitting on her living room couch to watch The Happy Painter with him. But her sense of comfortability vanished when he sat unbearably close to her, their legs touching each other, with one of his hands tracing the inside of her thigh. She mumbled that it was too warm in the house for him to be sitting so close to her and attempted to scoot away. She did not expect for him to roughly grab her wrist.
What followed next, was something unspeakable.
Looking back, she should have broken the church's rule and gone to the police, or told someone, done something, done anything instead of going through what she did next. Something snapped within her that day. She felt so done. Done with her parents, done with being denied by her religion that dictated who she could and couldn't love, done with being controlled, done with him, and done with the life she was living.
So she met up with him the next day, giving him a little taste of her homebrew with ingredients from her garden that made him just a little sleepy. So sleepy, in fact, that he slept through being turned into blood mulch for her daisies.
She was planning on drinking the rest of the homebrew but something within her made her stop. For once in her life she had taken charge of her situation; she didn't want to let someone dictate how to live her life. Not now and not ever again. She was going to run away, run away and live a life away from others' controlling grasps.
But she wasn't able to run away.
Lily was barely out her front door when the purple cloaked figures surrounded her. Their soft fabric fluttering like drifting butterfly wings, beautiful but silent as they enveloped her. Her anguished screams carried through the night sky as her parents watched on while the people she had trusted, cared about, and saw as family for so many years held her down, whispering the words 'defective' and 'traitor'. Lily's world briefly sunk into darkness after they forced her own fatal concoction down her throat, not registering the sacrificial blade they plunged into her heart as her world dimmed. Her conscious slipped as she felt literally nothing, her soul leaving her body, immediately tumbling down into Hell.
So close to living a life she had only realized during her last day, yet just when she was barely having a taste of that freedom, the universe cruelly ripped it away from her.
##########
"I'm just glad that I've never once seen him down here. I don't know if he went to Heaven or was exterminated, but I'm glad he's gone…..even though, sometimes I find myself regretting that I took his life." Lily said as she sniffled, tears smearing her mascara and running down her face as the other demons listened. Charlie handed her one of the boxes of tissues that they kept in the room, making sure to take a tissue for her own tears running down her face.
"Whoah." A gator demon sitting beside her said. "You're one badass lady. Don't regret taking out a scumbag like him either. You should have taken out those wackadoodles cultists called your parents while you were at it."
She shrugged as she said. "It never crossed my mind to do that, but I never really cared or wanted to harm them. I know now that they were severely brainwashed." Lily blew her nose before continuing. "But it still hurts to know that my fate would have ended up the same no matter what I did. Without hesitation, they would have chosen the society over me every time. They would have killed me anyway. Preferring to have a dead daughter than a gay one." Some of the demons in the room gasped while Tammy and another demon responded with words of comfort.
"Oh Lily…" Charlie hiccupped as reached over the best she could she and hugged the horned demoness, tears flowing freely down her face.
Lily leaned into the hug and returned the embrace. "I'm so sorry to that I ruined today's therapy session." She sniffled.
"Girl, do you think we care?" A centipede demoness pitched.
"We don't mind, suga'." Tammy agreed.
"It doesn't matter if you're a patient or not. This will always be a safe space." Charlie soothed as she patted Lily's back.
Even though she was crying, Lily found herself feeling a little lighter. Her wife now wasn't the only one who knew her story, and through her salty tears there was relief. "Thank you, Charlie. I don't know if the pain will never stop, but I'm honestly much more okay now than I've ever been." She said as she pulled away from the demoness's embrace, feeling a little bad that she had gotten a few drops of her running makeup into her friend's hair. "I have a beautiful and kind wife who's helped me understand who I really am, so many friends, actual real friends, and I can finally live the way I want to live."
##########
Charlie noticed that her eyes were still a bit red and puffy as she examined herself in her fogged bathroom mirror. My parents may be a little whacky in their own way, but at least it's never been to that extent, she thought as she readjusted her towel and began to brush the knots out from her wet, blonde locks.
"Boy, girl, straight, gay, trans, unicorn, or whatever you want to be, I'll one hundred percent support you." She said while she brushed her hair, taking a quick glance at her bump. "Well, everything except joining a cult. If you do you're grounded for eternity." She stated, only half joking. Once satisfied with her hair she grabbed her toothbrush, her mind drifting away from today's earlier events to something a little more cheerful. Charlie began to hum a tune she had heard earlier that week but couldn't quite remember where she heard it start replaying in her head.
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
She rinsed the toothpaste from her mouth and her toothbrush before going from humming to singing. Swaying her hips as she got into the imaginary beat.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
It was then that she realized that she had forgotten to bring her pajamas into the bathroom with her. In only her towel she headed out into her bedroom, still absentmindedly singing to the tune.
Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak
Alastor looked up from his book, Wining and Dining with Jeffery, as he watched his girlfriend walk- actually more like dance into the room with just her towel on. From his spot on the bed, he listened to her sing for a while as she retrieved clothes from her dresser drawers. Deciding to be more than just an observer, he snapped his fingers, the melody now playing from his microphone stand that was leaning up against the bedframe.
But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
Charlie continued to hum as she picked out a pair of pajama shorts and a large t-shirt, barely even noticing that the melody wasn't just in her head anymore. Or noticing the fact that she had an audience before she felt a pair of hands on her hips, swaying with her to the beat. She turned around and smiled, joining him in the unexpected duet. When was the last time we broke out into song and dance like this? She thought to herself, dropping her pajamas as she reached for his hands, enjoying the way he knew how to instantly brighten her mood.
I love you baby
And if it's quite all right
I need you baby
To warm the lonely night
He twirled her around as they sang- well he was the one mostly singing. Charlie was more laughing at his antics and trying to keep her towel from slipping.
I love you baby
Trust in me when I say
Oh pretty baby
Don't let me down I pray
Oh pretty baby
Now that I've found you stay
Alastor wished he could twirl, spin, and launch her into the air like how they used to dance, but wary of her condition, he danced with her what she was capable of. Finishing their little duet by supporting her weight as he slightly dipped her, preparing to finish the last stanza of their duet. But before he could Charlie closed the distance, taking the words right of his mouth, leaving the mic stand to finish it.
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you
##########
Tammy softly hummed the melody her grandma would always love to sing during long car rides. Lately, she found herself singing or humming the tune quite a bit throughout the day. She honestly didn't know why, maybe she felt a little more happy as of late? Although, she did still feel a little sad for Lily, the poor dumplin', so she decided to retrieve her knitting needles and yarn and start a workin' on a little something for her. Maybe start a fixin' something for the surprise baby shower as well, Tammy thought, knowing that was going to be here before she knew it.
You're just too good to be true
I can't take my eyes off you
She hummed as she unlocked and opened the trunk at the foot of her bed, lifting up the heavy lid. Tammy scooted some of the contents around before finding the needles and yarn she was looking for, but before she picked them up something else caught her attention. Right next to her bottles of brown hair dye were the ultrasound pictures.
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
The she-wolf softly smiled as she picked them up, trailing her claws over the image.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
She placed the pictures back into the trunk before going back for her yarn and needles. The lock on the trunk made a satisfying click as she got up and prepared to start working on her knitting projects.
Author's Note:
I love you readers
And if it's quite all right
I need you readers
To please comment below
Okay, I swear I'm done with having so many lyrics in a chapter….at least for now. I hope you guys enjoyed this long chapter despite it having some more serious and darker content. I promise the next chapter will be much happier and have more fluffy moments, along with a sweet reveal.
And if you would like to follow my shenanigans outside of AO3, or want to see my attempts at art, then please follow my new twitter account LateNightLurker at LateLurker
See all you sinners in the next chapter
Edit- I saw that the handwritten signature part at the beginning of the chapter changed to regular text. And I don't know how to change it back.
