Pale red sunlight streamed through the window.
Envy blinked, their eyes gradually adjusting to the light. It was hard to focus on anything; they still felt exhausted; their eyes were blurry and their mind was clouded. It was hard to remember what happened last night. They'd gotten to Kimblee's apartment, and he'd given them his Stone, and… oh.
They'd humiliated themself last night, hadn't they? How pathetic. Acting like… like they hadn't even been changed back to how they'd wanted to look all along; acting like the Philosopher's Stone hadn't worked. It didn't matter that it felt wrong; they should have at least pretended to be happy with how they looked, at least. They'd been acting for more than a century; they should've been able to fool Kimblee. He'd given up his Stone so they could be normal, only to see that disgusting, panicked display. He must think…
He'd said that they were beautiful, though.
Envy's face suddenly felt uncomfortably hot. What he said shouldn't matter, but… it did. He must have been lying—but Envy didn't want to think that he could've lied, when he'd said those words in that soft, thoughtful way.
He must have been lying. But if he hadn't been, that did… help, actually. Kimblee wasn't someone that you could easily fool; like Envy, he'd been an actor all of his life. He was perceptive, and he paid attention to details. Envy wasn't beautiful, but… if he'd said that, then at least they must look good enough to fool Kimblee.
Envy looked down, examining the way that their fingers looked as they rested against their legs, the way their legs were shaped, trying to feel how everything felt in relation to everything else. It all looked beautiful, even if it didn't feel that way. And at least everything felt proportional now, as long as they held very still. Their head no longer felt like it was floating far above the ground, and it no longer felt like they were missing limbs. Their body still didn't belong to them, not yet, but at least it was functional.
They looked fine. They looked perfectly decent. If Envy could fool Kimblee, they could probably fool Father too. Greed too, most likely, and Gluttony. Pride… well, he was another story. They were still afraid to face him; they knew how he despised weakness and foolishness.
They looked fine. But they still didn't feel completely normal. Their body still felt wrong, even if it was better than it had been last night. Even if they were physically fine, their mind still hasn't caught up.
Pride would see that, wouldn't he?
Envy shivered.
They had to get up first, before worrying about Pride; they had to take it one step at a time.
Envy carefully shifted from where they sat, hunched over.
Kimblee's hand fell from their shoulder.
Envy froze. They'd… forgotten that he was still here, and that his hand wasn't a part of their own body. But here he was, sitting inches from them on the couch. He'd been there all night, hadn't he?
Envy chanced a look at his face. He was asleep (good), face pressed awkwardly into the couch cushion. His hat had fallen off, and his hair was messy. He'd hate it if he knew that Envy could see him so disheveled; he always liked seeming dignified whenever he could, acting like that was his true nature, even if Envy'd seen him covered with blood and sweat in Ishval.
He looked so tired. He looked like how he had after seeing Pride in Liore, and like how he did on the train ride to Central, anxious and weary, but now, asleep, had no mask left to hide it.
He was so human, so weak. He obviously wasn't the soulless killing machine that Envy had used to think he was. But the thought of Kimblee being human wasn't quite as revolting as Envy thought it would be. He was anxious about them, after all. And it was shortsighted, so stupidly selfless, of him to give them the Stone, his prized possession, but… it's what Envy had wanted, wasn't it? And he'd sat up with them all night, too…
The heat in Envy's face faded into a comfortable warmth that spread throughout their whole body, and they felt their mouth curve into a fond smile. They knew that they'd made the right choice, that they'd picked the right alchemist. Of course, they'd known that all along. But it was nice seeing some evidence of it, even if he was only human.
He liked them, didn't he? He must, if he did all that, when Envy was too pathetic to control him directly. He was a fool, letting himself be controlled by something so disgustingly weak.
It was almost a pity that they didn't need him anymore.
Once Kimblee woke up, and found himself alone, he'd go to Wrath and find another job to do. He could never sit still for long; he always needed work to do, and Envy really had no reason to keep him. He could be put to better use elsewhere, couldn't he?
He looked oddly peaceful, slumped against the couch like that; it was almost adorable…
Ugh. That was enough; they didn't want to think about Kimblee anymore. He'd done his job, and now Envy needed to go home. Father needed them, didn't he? Without Lust around, Envy didn't know who was taking care of Gluttony. Father did need Envy; of course he did.
It felt wrong to leave without Kimblee, though.
Of course, they didn't need him. Without a Stone, he was no more useful than an ordinary alchemist. But after days of being near him, and, before that, being constantly with Mei, the idea of returning home alone felt strange, somehow. It would be nice, though—finally being able to exist without judging eyes watching their every move.
(He was probably tired of them, anyway).
They'd leave him, and Wrath would give him work to do, as he had for all these months.
It did seem wrong, somehow, to leave without saying goodbye…
"Mm. You're feeling… better?"
Envy started. Kimblee's eyes were half-open. He looked tiredly towards them, not moving from where he'd been sleeping.
How long had they been sitting here, staring at him like an idiot?
Envy cleared their throat. "Um. Yep." Wonderful. They still couldn't keep their voice from cracking, even in this body. They plastered a smile on their face. "Yeah." At least, better than before.
"Good. That's good." Kimblee blinked, then frowned, sitting up and discreetly attempting to smooth out the wrinkles in his jacket. After a minute, he gave up, and tried to smooth back his hair instead. "Well." He avoided looking at them, staring resolutely towards the floor as he re-tied his hair back. "I… thought you would have left already."
"Hm." They couldn't very well tell him that they'd just been sitting here, staring at him, instead of going home. "Well. I was just about to, before you woke up."
That sounded stupider out loud than it had sounded in their head.
"Ah." Kimblee continued to play with his hair. "Alright."
There was a heavy silence. Envy tried not to look at Kimblee; it only made things worse.
He knew that they were awake, and that they were fine, and his job was complete, and so Envy could go home now, right? It's not like anything could stop them now; it's not like they owed him anything. They were fine. They didn't need him anymore.
Envy stood suddenly, before they could change their mind. Their body didn't react well. Their legs almost collapsed under them; their head felt like it was floating a thousand feet above the ground. Kimblee started, seemingly ready to spring up if Envy did fall. They wouldn't give him the chance. "S'nothing," they muttered, holding still, trying to understand how much room their body took up. His pity, they'd admit, was better than anyone else's, but they still didn't want any pity at all. They just weren't used to walking on two legs; that's all. They were fine.
What if they weren't, though? What then?
After a minute or so of standing still, Envy could imagine walking. They cleared their throat, all too aware of Kimblee's critical gaze. "I'm fine." That seemed too abrupt to finish with, so after taking two steps towards the door, they stopped, trying to think of something else to say. Their mind was blank.
Kimblee didn't say anything.
Envy turned around, watching his face carefully. Kimblee just continued to stare out into space, expression blank, eyes unfocused.
They'd done something wrong, hadn't they? He hated them, didn't he? He was lying last night, wasn't—
"Envy."
Kimblee's voice cut through their thoughts like a knife.
"Yes?"
It was disgusting how panicked their voice was.
"Let me know if you have another job for me." Kimblee smiled thinly, an obvious mask. "I'd like to work with you again, sometime, if you'll let me."
What… what did he mean by that?
Envy studied his face carefully. Kimblee's smile was stiff and forced, and then, after a minute, disappeared, as though it was too much effort to keep it up. His eyes stayed the same, though: half-lidded, solemn.
He… he wasn't tired of them, was he?
He didn't want to be left behind, and… Envy didn't want to leave him behind.
"It's not like…" Envy's voice cracked again, and they coughed, and started again. "It's not like I was done with you, y'know."
Kimblee blinked. "What do you—"
"You're not done this job, stupid." Envy looked away, shrugging carelessly, like the answer was obvious. "You were supposed to bring me all the way back to Father. You didn't do that, did you? You want to leave another job unfinished? You're so bad at this."
Envy held their breath, watching confusion wash slowly across Kimblee's face. "I thought that you'd rather be left alone," he said slowly, idly steepling his fingers. "I thought that you'd had enough of me. You don't really need me now, do you? I'd be more useful doing another job where I'm actually needed."
"You need to finish what you start. You're always leaving things undone." It was easier to attack his character than to ask directly for what they wanted. "It's not like Wrath or Pride made good use of you anyway. If… if you want to work with me that badly, then… then I'll make work for you." The harsh tone in Envy's voice died away, and they looked away; it was too hard to look at his face, for fear that they'd misread him, that he was laughing at them. "You're… more useful to me than you'd be to them."
Envy stared at the corner of the room. He still hadn't reacted. They should have just left before he woke up. That would have been easier—
Kimblee stood up. Envy looked at him cautiously, glancing from the corner of their eye. It was so interesting, watching the blank look of confusion wash into a smile that almost looked sincere. "So it is mutual, then? Then I don't need to be so hard on myself."
"I don't know what you mean," said Envy, watching him carefully.
"It might be nothing." Kimblee said the words lightly, almost carelessly. "Don't worry. I just… I'd be happy to complete your little job. And to complete all of the other ones that I've left unfinished, and more to come, if you give them to me."
The hot feeling in Envy's face was back. "I should hope so," they muttered, looking away again (he wasn't allowed to notice). "You're my alchemist, aren't you?"
"You can call me that if you want to, if that makes you feel better."
"It does, actually." It felt like Envy was floating above the ground again, but there was less discomfort than there'd been before, replaced by a thrillingly nauseous feeling. Maybe this was what Kimblee called "anxiety."
They cleared their throat. "Mm. Well. If you're coming, Crimson, then let's get on with it."
"Lead the way." Kimblee smiled, and picked up his hat from off the floor.
It was time to go home.
A/N: Hi everyone, sorry for taking so long with this chapter. It's a bit on the short side (third shortest chapter so far); sorry about that! There was originally supposed to be a scene break after this section, and the chapter would have an Envy and a Kimblee POV section, but Envy's POV section wound up being longer than I expected, so I decided to split it between chapters.
(Maybe after spending two and a half chapters talking in Kimblee's apartment, these two will finally go outside and do something more exciting...)
Thank you again for reading; I really appreciate it!
