The Pivotal Moment

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A/N-thank you for reviewing this story!

Chapter Eleven-Bitter Words

Rey shut down the holo-message that she and Ben had recorded for Han and Leia. "We'll transmit it to them once we've reached Snoke's ship."

When Ben didn't immediately respond, she turned to look at him, sensing something was bothering him. She could tell through their bond that he was trying to conceal his feelings from her, but he wasn't being entirely successful. She found him staring down at the clothes he'd been wearing the day Finn had shot him on Starkiller base. They were Kylo Ren's clothes. The black tunic was still caked with his dried blood. There was even a hole in the material right where the blaster had hit him.

"Ben, I'm sorry." Rey apologised as she came to stand beside him. In her haste to be gone before any of the resistance fighters became aware of their plan, she hadn't given it a thought to how much putting on his old robes would strip Ben of his agency.

"Its just a uniform." Ben muttered. "It's no big deal."

"You don't have to hide your feelings, Ben." Rey reminded him. She captured his face in her hands and made him look into her hazel eyes. "Not from me."

"They'll think I've taken you hostage when they find out we're gone." Ben whispered. His dark eyes were haunted as he gazed at Rey's lovely face. "They'll think I betrayed them again, that this was my plan all along-to come here, regain their trust and run back to Snoke with enough intelligence to destroy them. It will prove to Skywalker he was right all along- "

"I would give anything to tell Han and Leia the truth, but you know as well as I do, they would never let you go." Rey caressed his face with gentle fingers, trying her best to soothe his cares away. "They don't want to risk losing you again."

Ben wanted to believe she was right, but it didn't stop the hurt festering in his chest that his parents would think badly of him again. It would kill Han and Leia to realise all the love they had invested in him, their faith and belief that there had always been light inside him, would be shattered all over again. They had clung to this notion, especially Leia. Despite all the bad things they thought he had done, they had welcomed him home, surrounding him with unconditional love. After feeling worthless and unloved his whole life, Ben didn't want to lose that. He could imagine his uncle saying I told you so to his parents, justifying his past actions to himself when he'd raised his weapon against Ben after experiencing the force vision of his possible future, and the evil he would wrought upon the world.

Ben's despair was rolling off him in waves, even as he tried to shield her from the worst of it. She only had to look at his face to see it-his quivering chin, the slight tension in his jaw, the bleakness in his dark eyes. Guilt sent her heart racing as she began to regret her hasty decision to leave under cover of darkness.

The future is an unwalkable road. What had happened in her world couldn't happen here. Too much had changed already. Her intention in coming back had been to save Ben, but already it was turning into much more than that. Ben's despair was a heady blackness; the way forward Rey had thought possible had vanished to black, not blocked, but like they were never there at all. She knew that to Ben hope was meaningless, if his mind lingered on such ideas they started to feel like cruel tricks. But she had to make him see that there was hope. Hope was all they had to cling to, otherwise what was left?

Ben felt Rey's arms wind around him as she hugged him. Her hug was stronger than anything he'd ever known, as if her holding him wasn't quite enough, she needed to press every ounce of her body onto him. In that moment of feeling her so close, Ben felt more awake somehow, more alive than he had felt in a very long time. He felt safe and protected within the sanctuary of her arms. He returned her hug in kind, clutching her to him fiercely, wrapping his arms around her so tightly that her feet lifted off the floor.

Despite the heaviness in Rey's stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of his body against hers. She sunk into the warmth of his side. His embrace was warm, and his big strong arms seemed very protective wrapped around her body. The world around Rey melted away as she squeezed Ben tightly, not wanting the moment to end as they found hope in each other.

"I want to tell them, Rey. I need to." He said roughly. "I know it's a risk…."

"If that's what you need to do, then we'll do it." Rey murmured as she reached for him, kissing him softly.

There were just some outcomes you couldn't control.


Ben and Rey stood with Han, Leia and Luke on the bridge of the Raddus as they revealed their risky plan-to confront Snoke aboard the Mega-class Star Dreadnought Supremacy, and then kill him. Leia gasped, her hand immediately went to her chest, fingers extended over her wildly beating heart. Han and Luke went to her assistance immediately, the latter helping her to sit in a vacant chair.

"I'm alright." She said, hastily dismissing their fears. She turned her attention to Ben, who hadn't moved from Rey's side. He seemed anchored there, as if afraid to leave the young girl's orbit for even a second. "I'm sorry, Ben. I can't allow it. It's madness."

Ben and Rey made eye contact. His breathing slowed down to match hers, his pensive look melting into a small smile. Rey's body relaxed just as much as his. The intensity of their gaze wasn't lost on Leia, or Luke or Han either. There was something about the way they looked at each other, which made it seem in that moment, that their souls had made a bridge, enabling them to have a whole conversation without the need for words.

Luke was frowning heavily. He could feel the force flowing between them like a fast running stream. He could sense that Leia felt it, too. He glanced at his twin; Leia appeared mesmerised, her eyes luminous as if she had discovered something new and shiny. When Luke's eyes travelled to Han, he noted the confusion but intense curiosity on his face. This made him angry. Ben's parents refused to see what he could plainly see. This was a trick. They so sorely wanted to believe that their only child had shrugged off the chains binding him to the dark side of the force, but Luke wasn't so easily fooled.

They hadn't seen what he'd seen. He remembered when he first became aware of the darkness which threatened his nephew's soul. He had felt a dark movement in the force, which had eventually brought him to his nephew's bedroom one evening. Standing over his sleeping student, Luke reached out and sensed an evil, corrupting influence within Ben Solo. The immediacy and severity of the threat caused the Jedi master to instinctively draw his lightsaber, intending even for a brief moment to kill his young apprentice, his nephew, his sister's son. The desire had vanished in an instant when he realised what his brief lapse in control had so nearly made him do, but by then it was too late. Ben had awoken to find his mentor and uncle standing over him with a raised weapon. Luke closed his eyes at the painful memory, trying to shut out the sight of his nephew's panicked and frightened eyes as he raised his own blade to defend himself.

"Don't fall for it!" He spat angrily. "This is a trick. If we let him go, he'll go straight to his master and he'll have the First Order's fleet hot on our trail. Think about it. You've allowed him the freedom to roam all over the base. He knows all our strengths and weaknesses!" He continued, his voice shaking with repressed anger.

"That's enough, Luke!" Leia reprimanded him as she rose shakily to her feet.

Han's face was grim as he stood defensively next to his wife, his arm slipping around her waist in support. "You've gone too far, Luke." He said gruffly.

Luke looked between them, his expression growing fierce. "You need to take your blinders off. The reason I went into exile is because I looked into his heart. I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked deeper inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction, pain, death, and the end of everything I loved because of what he wou become. You see the face of the son you love in front of you right now." He roared at Han and Leia. "But all I see is Kylo Ren!"

"Shut up, Luke!" Leia cried.

Luke's lightsaber suddenly ripped off his belt and flew through the air. The plasma blade erupted, humming violently. He turned swiftly, expecting the blade to be clasped in his nephew's hands, but was shocked into silence when he found Rey standing defensively in front of him, her hazel eyes alight with fury. Ben remained still behind her, his eyes unfocused, looking suddenly like the lost, frightened boy that Luke remembered from the night he had so nearly attacked him.

"Ben…" He whispered.

"Don't you say his name!" Rey cut in harshly. Angry tears glimmered in her eyes. "You are nothing but a bitter old man. Some legend! You said you looked deep inside him- inside his heart-but you failed to see the truth. The darkness you claim to have sensed inside Ben wasn't of his own making. You were being manipulated!"

Luke's eyes widened and his complexion turned grey as his eyes left Ben's face and landed on hers. "What do you mean by that?" He quavered.

"Rey, put the lightsaber away." Leia's voice was gentle and soothing as she cut off Rey's view of Luke and coaxed her to hand over the weapon.

A shudder rippled through Rey's body as she shut the lightsaber down and placed the hilt in Leia's open hands. She felt a wretched silence seize her soul. There was a chill in her blood, coldness bringing the synapses of her brain to a standstill. She was deeply regretting her outburst, but when the full force of Ben's pain and anger had hit her like a knife to the heart through their shared bond, she had to act. She took his anger and made it her own as she confronted Skywalker, but she had let that anger consume her, letting it turn to hate until she found herself standing in front of Skywalker with a raised weapon in her hand.

Oh, she was definitely a Palpatine after all!

"No!" Ben's deep tone of denial echoed fluidly in her mind.

"I gave into my anger." Rey projected back to him, her head hanging in shame.

"You were defending me." Ben pointed out; a small smile pulled at his lips as he gazed at her with a softness in his eyes that left Rey breathless with wanting. "And you were right. It was a mistake to tell them." He concluded sadly.

Their silent conversation was cut off when Luke stepped between them, breaking all mental contact, leaving them feeling cold and bereft. "I need to know what you meant!" He demanded, looking at Rey. "Who are you?"

"I can't answer that." Rey said wearily. She turned away from Skywalker to find Han and Leia standing nearby, gazing at her in concern. "I'm sorry." She whispered brokenly in their direction, before fleeing the bridge.

A/N-thanks for reading! Please review.