It was Annabeth's idea.
She loaded us into the back of a Vegas taxi as if we actually had money,
"Having money. Ha, we wish," Thalia shook her sadly.
and told the driver, "Los Angeles, please."
The cabbie chewed his cigar and sized us up. "That's three hundred miles. For that, you gotta pay up front."
"You accept casino debit cards?" Annabeth asked.
"So that's how she figured it out?" Nico whispered to Percy. He nodded.
"That's why she's the smart one."
He shrugged. "Some of 'em. Same as credit cards. I gotta swipe 'em through first."
Annabeth handed him her green LotusCash card.
"Clever," Hercules commented. Zoë glared at him but resisted the urge to make a snide remark.
He looked at it skeptically.
"Swipe it," Annabeth invited.
He did.
His meter machine started rattling. The lights flashed. Finally an infinity symbol came up next to the dollar sign.
"Infinity?" Alecto questioned.
"Never-ending," Thalia explained.
The cigar fell out of the driver's mouth. He looked back at us, his eyes wide. "Where to in Los Angeles...uh, Your Highness?"
"The Santa Monica Pier." Annabeth sat up a little straighter. I could tell she liked the "Your Highness" thing.
Thalia laughed. "Annabeth would like that, so very much."
"Get us there fast, and you can keep the change."
Maybe she shouldn't have told him that. The cab's speedometer never dipped below ninety-five the whole way through the Mojave Desert.
"More like, she definitely should have told him that. Speed is of the essence," Demeter observed.
On the road, we had plenty of time to talk. I told Annabeth and Grover about my latest dream,
"At least you did," Persephone sighed, tension seeping into the room again at the memory of Percy's dream.
but the details got sketchier the more I tried to remember them. The Lotus Casino seemed to have short-circuited my memory.
"Makes sense. That's the Lotus Eaters' haze. It's lucky enough you three all managed to escape," Triton shrugged.
I couldn't recall what the invisible servant's voice had sounded like, though I was sure it was somebody I knew.
Thalia glared. She hated that Luke had done what he had. She would never forgive him for it.
The servant had called the monster in the pit something other than "my lord,"...some special name or title...
"The Silent One?" Annabeth suggested. "The Rich One? Both of those are nicknames for Hades."
"Maybe..." I said, though neither sounded quite right.
"Because it was neither of those," Nico leaned back worriedly.
The Furies glanced between Hades, Nico and Percy. They were rather curious to see how everything would play out.
"That throne room sounds like Hades's," Grover said. "That's the way it's usually described."
I shook my head. "Something's wrong. The throne room wasn't the main part of the dream. And that voice from the pit...I don't know. It just didn't feel like a god's voice."
"It wasn't," Athena sighed.
"You don't know that!" Zeus snapped. The others rolled their eyes behind Zeus' back.
Annabeth's eyes widened.
"What?" I asked.
"Oh...nothing. I was just—No, it has to be Hades. Maybe he sent this thief, this invisible person, to get the master bolt, and something went wrong—"
Hades glared again.
"She figured the alternative. And it would be better, you have to admit," Percy tried to persuade. Hades let up on the scowling but he was still upset.
"Like what?"
"I—I don't know," she said. "But if he stole Zeus's symbol of power from Olympus, and the gods were hunting him, I mean, a lot of things could go wrong. So this thief had to hide the bolt, or he lost it somehow. Anyway, he failed to bring it to Hades. That's what the voice said in your dream, right? The guy failed. That would explain what the Furies were searching for when they came after us on the bus. Maybe they thought we had retrieved the bolt."
"I don't want the stupid bolt!" Hades burst out, unable to help himself.
"Stupid?!" Zeus cried out indignantly. Hera cleared her throat and Zeus swallowed his anger, but he was shaking in his throne.
I wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She looked pale.
"But if I'd already retrieved the bolt," I said, "why would I be traveling to the Underworld?"
"To threaten Hades," Grover suggested. "To bribe or blackmail him into getting your mom back."
"Not going to lie, for mom I would do that. One hundred percent. Sorry Lord Hades."
Hades only rolled his eyes at him.
I whistled. "You have evil thoughts for a goat."
"I've said that to Pan several times," Hermes chuckled, Apollo nodding wholehearted beside him.
"Why, thank you."
"But the thing in the pit said it was waiting for two items," I said. "If the master bolt is one, what's the other?"
Hades paled. He glanced at Persephone who was looking at him worriedly. Then he looked at Percy who nodded at him, silently confirming his suspicions.
Grover shook his head, clearly mystified.
Annabeth was looking at me as if she knew my next question, and was silently willing me not to ask it.
"You have an idea what might be in that pit, don't you?" I asked her. "I mean, if it isn't Hades?"
"Percy...let's not talk about it. Because if it isn't Hades...No. It has to be Hades."
"Take one for the team. Just have done it so we don't need to worry," Dionysus waved his wine glass around.
Hades waved his own hand in retaliation and dead mouse appeared in the glass. Before Dionysus could attack with his grape vines, Ariadne took the glass out of his hand. "I think that's enough wine honey. Let's just listen." She took his hand in hers, causing him to calm down.
Wasteland rolled by. We passed a sign that said CALIFORNIA STATE LINE, 12 MILES.
I got the feeling I was missing one simple, critical piece of information. It was like when I stared at a common word I should know, but I couldn't make sense of it because one or two letters were floating around. The more I thought about my quest, the more I was sure that confronting Hades wasn't the real answer. There was something else going on, something even more dangerous.
"You're smarter than you look," Tisiphone commented looking very interested in Percy. He gave Nico a nervous side look, but the younger demigod just shrugged.
The problem was: we were hurtling toward the Underworld at ninety-five miles an hour, betting that Hades had the master bolt. If we got there and found out we were wrong, we wouldn't have time to correct ourselves. The solstice deadline would pass and war would begin.
"But you are wrong. Don't tell me war..." Ariadne trailed off, looking worried.
Percy shook his head. "We figured it out. It turned out fine," he reassured her.
"The answer is in the Underworld," Annabeth assured me. "You saw spirits of the dead, Percy. There's only one place that could be. We're doing the right thing."
Persephone squeezed Hades' hand, both to comfort him and keep him from making more snide comments.
She tried to boost our morale by suggesting clever strategies for getting into the Land of the Dead, but my heart wasn't in it. There were just too many unknown factors. It was like cramming for a test without knowing the subject. And believe me, I'd done that enough times.
The cab sped west. Every gust of wind through Death Valley sounded like a spirit of the dead. Every time the brakes hissed on an eighteen-wheeler, it reminded me of Echidna's reptilian voice.
Zeus winced, feeling the death stares coming from all around him. He'd had the right to do what he pleased, he was the King! They had no right to judge him on the other hand. Zeus swallowed his anger, remembering they were reading by command of the Fates.
At sunset, the taxi dropped us at the beach in Santa Monica. It looked exactly the way L.A. beaches do in the movies, only it smelled worse. There were carnival rides lining the Pier, palm trees lining the sidewalks, homeless guys sleeping in the sand dunes, and surfer dudes waiting for the perfect wave.
"Doesn't sound like the perfect place," Zoë winced. Her power had once come from Pleione, an Oceanid, and the sea being harmed caused Zoë's own heart to be hurt.
Grover, Annabeth, and I walked down to the edge of the surf.
"What now?" Annabeth asked.
The Pacific was turning gold in the setting sun. I thought about how long it had been since I'd stood on the beach at Montauk, on the opposite side of the country, looking out at a different sea.
How could there be a god who could control all that? What did my science teacher used to say—two-thirds of the earth's surface was covered in water? How could I be the son of someone that powerful?
Poseidon smiled widely. Triton, Theseus and Orion all couldn't help but grin at Percy themselves. It helped that they had access to all that power. Amphitrite rolled her eyes. They were all children is what they were.
Hera was doing the same at the look on Zeus' face. "The sky is everywhere," he insisted to her. She patted his arm comfortingly.
I stepped into the surf.
"Percy?" Annabeth said. "What are you doing?"
I kept walking, up to my waist, then my chest.
She called after me, "You know how polluted that water is? There're all kinds of toxic—"
"They ruined even more of the sea?" Poseidon asked horrified.
The future demigods nodded. The loss of Pan had affected all parts of nature.
That's when my head went under.
I held my breath at first. It's difficult to intentionally inhale water. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I gasped. Sure enough, I could breathe normally.
Jason almost wanted to interrupt his own reading, feeling sympathetic to Percy. He had felt the same when he first flew. But he held his tongue and continued to read, he was already feeling enough glares being the one to hold the book.
I walked down into the shoals. I shouldn't have been able to see through the murk, but somehow I could tell where everything was. I could sense the rolling texture of the bottom. I could make out sand-dollar colonies dotting the sandbars. I could even see the currents, warm and cold streams swirling together.
"It sounds amazing," Perseus said in wonder. Orion and Theseus smirked, "It is."
I felt something rub against my leg. I looked down and almost shot out of the water like a ballistic missile. Sliding along beside me was a five-foot-long mako shark.
But the thing wasn't attacking. It was nuzzling me. Heeling like a dog.
Triton smiled. The creatures of the sea loved the children of the sea. And they loved them back. At least he hoped Percy wouldn't disappoint him in this.
Tentatively, I touched its dorsal fin. It bucked a little, as if inviting me to hold tighter. I grabbed the fin with both hands. It took off, pulling me along. The shark carried me down into the darkness. It deposited me at the edge of the ocean proper, where the sand bank dropped off into a huge chasm. It was like standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon at midnight, not being able to see much, but knowing the void was right there.
The surface shimmered maybe a hundred and fifty feet above. I knew I should've been crushed by the pressure. Then again, I shouldn't have been able to breathe. I wondered if there was a limit to how deep I could go, if I could sink straight to the bottom of the Pacific.
"Until the very bottom of the ocean floor. There are no depth restrictions," Amphitrite told him softly. Percy dipped his head in understanding.
Then I saw something glimmering in the darkness below, growing bigger and brighter as it rose toward me. A woman's voice, like my mother's, called: "Percy Jackson."
"I wonder why she reminds you of Sally," Nico mused, actually curious. He looked at Thalia who didn't have an answer to his question.
As she got closer, her shape became clearer. She had flowing black hair, a dress made of green silk. Light flickered around her, and her eyes were so distractingly beautiful I hardly noticed the stallion-sized sea horse she was riding.
"It's a hippocampus," Triton clarified.
She dismounted. The sea horse and the mako shark whisked off and started playing something that looked like tag.
Poseidon gave a small smile. Creatures of his court getting along always warmed his heart.
The underwater lady smiled at me. "You've come far, Percy Jackson. Well done."
I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I bowed. "You're the woman who spoke to me in the Mississippi River."
"Yes, child. I am a Nereid, a spirit of the sea. It was not easy to appear so far upriver, but the naiads, my freshwater cousins, helped sustain my life force. They honor Lord Poseidon, though they do not serve in his court."
"Having a Nereid come speak with you is quite an honor," Demeter said in surprise. She glanced at Poseidon, then back at Percy with interest.
"And...you serve in Poseidon's court?"
"All Nereids do," Triton informed him. Percy looked up in interest, he hadn't quite realized that.
She nodded. "It has been many years since a child of the Sea God has been born. We have watched you with great interest."
Suddenly I remembered faces in the waves off Montauk Beach when I was a little boy, reflections of smiling women. Like so many of the weird things in my life, I'd never given it much thought before.
"You had naiads watching over you, and as a kid this never bothered you?" Thalia asked Percy incredulously.
"I thought was imagining it!" He defended and frowned feeling Zoë's judgemental stare on him.
"If my father is so interested in me," I said, "why isn't he here? Why doesn't he speak to me?"
A cold current rose out of the depths.
"Do not judge the Lord of the Sea too harshly," the Nereid told me. "He stands at the brink of an unwanted war. He has much to occupy his time. Besides, he is forbidden to help you directly. The gods may not show such favoritism."
"The only Ancient Law which is helpful," Hermes said, shaking his head.
"The children fight amongst each other far too often for anything else," Aphrodite agreed.
"Even to their own children?"
"Especially to them. The gods can work by indirect influence only. That is why I give you a warning, and a gift."
She held out her hand. Three white pearls flashed in her palm.
"I know you journey to Hades's realm," she said. "Few mortals have ever done this and survived: Orpheus, who had great music skill; Hercules, who had great strength; Houdini, who could escape even the depths of Tartarus. Do you have these talents?"
"Um...no, ma'am."
"Very little faith in yourself," Theseus shook his head in dismay. "I worry about you, Percy." Orion, Perseus and even Hercules agreed with Theseus, surprising the future demigods.
"Ah, but you have something else, Percy. You have gifts you have only begun to know. The oracles have foretold a great and terrible future for you, should you survive to manhood. Poseidon would not have you die before your time.
Theseus and Orion glanced at their father. He may not show it, but they both knew he was watching over them in his own way. Poseidon smiled back, he loved all his children, demigod or otherwise.
Therefore take these, and when you are in need, smash a pearl at your feet."
"What will happen?"
"That," she said, "depends on the need. But remember: what belongs to the sea will always return to the sea."
Amphitrite rolled her eyes. She would be willing to bet her best seashell that Poseidon had come up with the line himself and told the Nereid to say it to the young demigod.
"What about the warning?"
Her eyes flickered with green light. "Go with what your heart tells you, or you will lose all. Hades feeds on doubt and hopelessness. He will trick you if he can, make you mistrust your own judgment. Once you are in his realm, he will never willingly let you leave.
"That much is true," Hades shrugged. He may not need more souls in the Underworld but it wasn't a vacation spot. If you came in, you stayed for life.
Keep faith. Good luck, Percy Jackson."
She summoned her sea horse and rode toward the void.
"Wait!" I called. "At the river, you said not to trust the gifts. What gifts?"
Persephone stifled a gasp. She had a feeling she had figured it out. Her husband glanced at her but she shook her head, motioning towards the book.
"Good-bye, young hero," she called back, her voice fading into the depths. "You must listen to your heart." She became a speck of glowing green, and then she was gone.
I wanted to follow her down into the darkness. I wanted to see the court of Poseidon.
"Beautiful place. Seriously, it's so nice," Hermes sighed. He really liked deliveries that took him to Poseidon's kingdom. If he took a little extra time down there, well...that was between him, Martha and George.
But I looked up at the sunset darkening on the surface. My friends were waiting. We had so little time...
I kicked upward toward the shore.
When I reached the beach, my clothes dried instantly.
"Neat trick," Thalia said, a little jealous.
Perseus and Hercules and sneakily even Jason gave her an incredulous look. "What? The power to be instantly dry would be nice okay?" Thalia defended herself.
I told Grover and Annabeth what had happened, and showed them the pearls.
Annabeth grimaced. "No gift comes without a price."
"They were free."
"No." She shook her head. "'There is no such thing as a free lunch.' That's an ancient Greek saying that translated pretty well into American. There will be a price. You wait."
"Was there?" Apollo asked curiously. Percy looked confused, so Apollo elaborated. "A price. Was there a price?" Percy's face cleared and he nodded without giving an explanation.
On that happy thought, we turned our backs on the sea.
With some spare change from Ares's backpack, we took the bus into West Hollywood. I showed the driver the Underworld address slip I'd taken from Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium, but he'd never heard of DOA Recording Studios.
"Mortals wouldn't know of it. That's where the dead would wait for Charon's ferry," Alecto told him while laughing.
"You remind me of somebody I saw on TV," he told me. "You a child actor or something?"
"Uh...I'm a stunt double...for a lot of child actors."
"Oh! That explains it."
We thanked him and got off quickly at the next stop.
"The fugitive life really isn't all they say it is, now is it?" Dionysus tilted his head at Percy. He didn't trust him. All the others were liking the demigod but Dionysus knew that he would turn out just like the rest of Poseidon's sons. Selfish brats.
We wandered for miles on foot, looking for DOA. Nobody seemed to know where it was. It didn't appear in the phone book.
Twice, we ducked into alleys to avoid cop cars.
"The mortals need to stop bothering you. Could really use some of that Mist thing here," Hercules noted.
Percy refused to acknowledge Thalia, who seemed a little reluctant to tease Percy herself. She wouldn't have been hesitant if anyone other than Hercules had pointed it out but...there was no helping it. She had to let it go.
I froze in front of an appliance-store window because a television was playing an interview with somebody who looked very familiar—my stepdad, Smelly Gabe. He was talking to Barbara Walters—I mean, as if he were some kind of huge celebrity. She was interviewing him in our apartment, in the middle of a poker game, and there was a young blond lady sitting next to him, patting his hand.
A fake tear glistened on his cheek. He was saying, "Honest, Ms. Walters, if it wasn't for Sugar here, my grief counselor, I'd be a wreck. My stepson took everything I cared about. My wife...my Camaro...I—I'm sorry. I have trouble talking about it."
"That pig," Artemis spat in disgust.
Nico and Thalia looked ready to commit murder.
"There you have it, America." Barbara Walters turned to the camera. "A man torn apart. An adolescent boy with serious issues. Let me show you, again, the last known photo of this troubled young fugitive, taken a week ago in Denver."
The screen cut to a grainy shot of me, Annabeth, and Grover standing outside the Colorado diner, talking to Ares.
"Who are the other children in this photo?" Barbara Walters asked dramatically. "Who is the man with them? Is Percy Jackson a delinquent, a terrorist, or perhaps the brainwashed victim of a frightening new cult?
Athena suddenly let out a laugh. "You're going to pin everything on Ares aren't you?"
Percy couldn't help but smile. He nodded. "Better him than us. Mortals can't do anything to him." Ares scowled but said nothing.
When we come back, we chat with a leading child psychologist. Stay tuned, America."
"C'mon," Grover told me. He hauled me away before I could punch a hole in the appliance-store window.
"Wouldn't have blamed you if you did," Hephaestus told him, intimately knowing the feeling of wanting to punch a smug jerk who had it better than you. He threw a dirty look in Ares' direction, who didn't even notice.
It got dark, and hungry-looking characters started coming out on the streets to play. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a New Yorker. I don't scare easy. But L.A. had a totally different feel from New York. Back home, everything seemed close. It didn't matter how big the city was, you could get anywhere without getting lost. The street pattern and the subway made sense. There was a system to how things worked. A kid could be safe as long as he wasn't stupid.
Athena felt the urge to make a comment about Percy, but she held her tongue. That would just lead to another fight and would anger Triton further. She had to be rational and not let her petty emotions get the best of her. Artemis gave her an approving nod, even as Zoë made the petty comment about Percy for her.
L.A. wasn't like that. It was spread out, chaotic, hard to move around. It reminded me of Ares.
Ares sneered at Percy, who held his hands up defensively. "Most people love L.A.?" He tried.
That seemed to appease Ares enough to stop glaring. Thalia and Nico looked questioningly at Percy who only shrugged and whispered in a low voice, "I like Mars. And...why make him an enemy sooner that I have too?"
They couldn't argue with that.
It wasn't enough for L.A. to be big; it had to prove it was big by being loud and strange and difficult to navigate, too. I didn't know how we were ever going to find the entrance to the Underworld by tomorrow, the summer solstice.
"You better," Zeus threatened. "My bolt is at stake!"
Hades scoffed, "More like my reputation." Hera cleared her throat threateningly to stop the two gods before yet another argument could break out.
We walked past gangbangers, bums, and street hawkers, who looked at us like they were trying to figure if we were worth the trouble of mugging.
As we hurried passed the entrance of an alley, a voice from the darkness said, "Hey, you."
Like an idiot, I stopped.
This time Athena groaned. She only had so much self-control.
To her surprise, she wasn't alone. The other demigods and several Olympians groaned with her.
Before I knew it, we were surrounded. A gang of kids had circled us. Six of them in all—white kids with expensive clothes and mean faces. Like the kids at Yancy Academy: rich brats playing at being bad boys.
Instinctively, I uncapped Riptide.
"That won't help there," Nico shook his head, but he had relaxed a little.
When the sword appeared out of nowhere, the kids backed off, but their leader was either really stupid or really brave, because he kept coming at me with a switchblade.
Thalia swallowed. A mortal wouldn't get the best of Percy, she'd seen him fight monsters.
I made the mistake of swinging.
Thalia and Nico both smacked him in the arm. Percy yelped. "Why?!"
The kid yelped. But he must've been one hundred percent mortal, because the blade passed harmlessly right through his chest. He looked down. "What the..."
I figured I had about three seconds before his shock turned to anger. "Run!" I screamed at Annabeth and Grover.
We pushed two kids out of the way and raced down the street, not knowing where we were going. We turned a sharp corner.
"You have the worst luck," Hephaestus grunted.
"There!" Annabeth shouted.
Only one store on the block looked open, its windows glaring with neon. The sign above the door said something like CRSTUY'S WATRE BDE ALPACE.
"Crusty's Water Bed Palace?" Grover translated.
"Water bed?" Triton questioned. He was worried about a few mortal kids who didn't even have a proper weapon.
"Yeah, it's really cool though I'm not sure how it works. I'll try and explain later," Percy promised. Triton lived underwater, so he might not enjoy it but it was always nice to know about things.
It didn't sound like a place I'd ever go except in an emergency, but this definitely qualified.
We burst through the doors, ran behind a water bed, and ducked. A split second later, the gang kids ran past outside.
"You're safe," Perseus sighed with relief. Percy side-eyed him and Theseus, remembering what danger he got into after this. It would help them get used to it, he decided.
"I think we lost them," Grover panted.
A voice behind us boomed, "Lost who?"
We all jumped.
Standing behind us was a guy who looked like a raptor in a leisure suit. He was at least seven feet tall, with absolutely no hair. He had gray, leathery skin, thick-lidded eyes, and a cold, reptilian smile. He moved toward us slowly, but I got the feeling he could move fast if he needed to.
Tisiphone cackled. "He sounds like yet another monster," she stared straight at Percy. "You're not a very lucky demigod are you?"
"The unluckiest," Percy informed her.
His suit might've come from the Lotus Casino. It belonged back in the seventies, big-time. The shirt was silk paisley, unbuttoned halfway down his hairless chest. The lapels on his velvet jacket were as wide as landing strips. The silver chains around his neck—I couldn't even count them.
"I'm Crusty," he said, with a tartar-yellow smile.
Aphrodite gagged. The others didn't look much better.
I resisted the urge to say, Yes, you are.
"Sorry to barge in," I told him. "We were just, um, browsing."
"You mean hiding from those no-good kids," he grumbled. "They hang around every night. I get a lot of people in here, thanks to them.
"Maybe he's just looking for good sales?" Orion said hopefully. That hope died a swift and painful death with a single glance in Percy's direction.
Say, you want to look at a water bed?"
I was about to say No, thanks, when he put a huge paw on my shoulder and steered me deeper into the showroom.
There was every kind of water bed you could imagine: different kinds of wood, different patterns of sheets; queen-size, king-size, emperor-of-the-universe-size.
Triton leaned forward, more curious about these waterbeds than he was before.
"Later," Percy promised again.
"This is my most popular model." Crusty spread his hands proudly over a bed covered with black satin sheets, with built-in Lava Lamps on the headboard. The mattress vibrated, so it looked like oil-flavored Jell-O.
"That's disgusting," Thalia grimaced.
"Thanks for ruining Jell-O for me," Nico told Percy seriously. Thalia nodded in agreement.
"Million-hand massage," Crusty told us. "Go on, try it out. Shoot, take a nap. I don't care. No business today, anyway.
"Um," I said, "I don't think..."
"Million-hand massage!" Grover cried, and dove in. "Oh, you guys! This is cool."
Hermes snorted, shaking his head. "At least he's eager."
"Too eager," Artemis retorted, a little worried herself. This particular satyr had begun to grow on her.
"Hmm," Crusty said, stroking his leathery chin. "Almost, almost."
"Almost what?" I asked.
He looked at Annabeth. "Do me a favor and try this one over here, honey. Might fit."
Athena narrowed her eyes, silently promising whoever this was pain if any harm befell her daughter.
Annabeth said, "But what—"
He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder and led her over to the Safari Deluxe model with teakwood lions carved into the frame and a leopard-patterned comforter. When Annabeth didn't want to lie down, Crusty pushed her.
"Hey!" she protested.
Crusty snapped his fingers. "Ergo!"
"No. Not Procrustes!" Theseus exclaimed, before turning to Percy. "Must you have to face every villain I did?"
"At least this way you know I can beat them?" Percy tried. It didn't help.
Ropes sprang from the sides of the bed, lashing around Annabeth, holding her to the mattress.
Grover tried to get up, but ropes sprang from his black-satin bed, too, and lashed him down.
"N-not c-c-cool!" he yelled, his voice vibrating from the million-hand massage. "N-not c-cool a-at all!"
"He's come a long way from that iron bed of his," Triton said sardonically, looking at his father. After all, Procrustes was another half-brother of his.
Poseidon had his jaw clenched. He hated when his children fought.
The giant looked at Annabeth, then turned toward me and grinned. "Almost, darn it."
I tried to step away, but his hand shot out and clamped around the back of my neck. "Whoa, kid. Don't worry. We'll find you one in a sec."
Perseus and Theseus turned pale again, as they were prone to do whilst reading this book.
Nico and Thalia didn't feel much better, but they were better at hiding it. Percy, Annabeth and Grover's other exploits were quite prominent in their minds.
"Let my friends go."
"Oh, sure I will. But I got to make them fit, first."
"What do you mean?"
"All the beds are exactly six feet, see? Your friends are too short. Got to make them fit."
"They're still growing! They are only children," Demeter exclaimed.
"Monsters don't care about that," Hestia replied to her sister grimly. She hated seeing the children hurt, but there was nothing she could do but keep the hearth warm for them to return too.
Annabeth and Grover kept struggling.
"Can't stand imperfect measurements," Crusty muttered. "Ergo!"
A new set of ropes leaped out from the top and bottom of the beds, wrapping around Grover and Annabeth's ankles, then around their armpits. The ropes started tightening, pulling my friends from both ends.
Hermes and Athena winced, fearing for Annabeth and Grover's lives. Dionysus' magic was rising in the form of grape vines, he too was angry a satyr was in danger.
Ariadne hoped that Grover and Annabeth made it out of this, otherwise there would be no saving Percy.
"Don't worry," Crusty told me, "These are stretching jobs. Maybe three extra inches on their spines. They might even live. Now why don't we find a bed you like, huh?"
"Percy!" Grover yelled.
My mind was racing. I knew I couldn't take on this giant water-bed salesman alone. He would snap my neck before I ever got my sword out.
Theseus and Perseus groaned worriedly.
"Wait...water beds? You could use your powers!" Orion exclaimed excitedly.
Percy blinked in realization. "That's true! Too bad I didn't think of that," he shrugged.
"You're doing this on purpose aren't you?" Hera noted, the relaxed look about Percy. He nodded. "They won't stop worrying no matter what I say, so I've given up on trying to reassure them."
Hera felt that was fair. Might as well have some fun in it all.
"Your real name's not Crusty, is it?" I asked.
"Legally, it's Procrustes," he admitted.
"The Stretcher," I said. I remembered the story: the giant who'd tried to kill Theseus with excess hospitality on his way to Athens.
"I wouldn't call it hospitality," Theseus scoffed.
As the god of travelers, Hermes agreed with him wholeheartedly.
"Yeah," the salesman said. "But who can pronounce Procrustes? Bad for business. Now 'Crusty,' anybody can say that."
"You're right. It's got a good ring to it."
His eyes lit up. "You think so?"
"Oh, absolutely," I said. "And the workmanship on these beds? Fabulous!"
"I love good workmanship myself, but perhaps that isn't the best time?" Hephaestus asked gently, seeing the outraged look on Athena and Hermes' faces. Dionysus didn't look any happier.
Percy shook his head, remembering just how he beat Procrustes, and gestured towards the book. "I'd say it's the perfect time," He said with a sly grin. He glanced at Hera and Hades who were the only ones enjoying the atmosphere in the room as much as Percy was at the moment.
He grinned hugely, but his fingers didn't loosen on my neck. "I tell my customers that. Every time. Nobody bothers to look at the workmanship. How many built-in Lava Lamp headboards have you seen?"
"Not too many."
"I could make plenty of those myself," Hephaestus scoffed a little. No one could beat him in good workmanship.
"That's right!"
"Percy!" Annabeth yelled. "What are you doing?"
"Don't mind her," I told Procrustes. "She's impossible."
Athena gaped in outrage, too angry to form words. And here she thought she would begin to take it easy on the future son of Poseidon.
Artemis frowned. She too had begun to think of Percy a little differently. She was disappointed to find she may be wrong, which surprised her for a moment.
The giant laughed. "All my customers are. Never six feet exactly. So inconsiderate. And then they complain about the fitting."
"What do you do if they're longer than six feet?"
"Oh, that happens all the time. It's a simple fix."
"He's the worst," Amphitrite whispered.
"Oh, I don't know about that. Father has many other sons that are far worse. Certain Cyclopes I could mention," Triton mentioned conversationally. Poseidon threw him a glare, not that Triton noticed.
He let go of my neck, but before I could react, he reached behind a nearby sales desk and brought out a huge double-bladed brass axe. He said, "I just center the subject as best I can and lop off whatever hangs over on either end."
"Ah," I said, swallowing hard. "Sensible."
"You clearly don't think that! What are you doing?" Demeter asked him completely baffled.
Hades held Persephone's hand softly and her mother's words, helped the goddess of flowers realize what was going on. Her husband simply smirked at her, knowing she had realized what was happening.
"I'm so glad to come across an intelligent customer!"
The ropes were really stretching my friends now. Annabeth was turning pale. Grover made gurgling sounds, like a strangled goose.
"So, Crusty..." I said, trying to keep my voice light. I glanced at the sales tag on the valentine-shaped Honeymoon Special. "Does this one really have dynamic stabilizers to stop wave motion?"
"This is really not the time to shop," Aphrodite said, her eyes widening in surprise as she said it. She never thought the day would come, when she thought fighting more important than shopping.
"Absolutely. Try it out."
"Yeah, maybe I will. But would it work even for a big guy like you? No waves at all?"
"Guaranteed."
"Not the time for a demo Percy," Apollo groaned. Hermes looked terribly worried and it was starting to cause him stress.
"No way."
"Way."
"Show me."
Artemis and Athena's eyes widened and they looked towards Percy startled. They shook their heads, for once glad that they had been wrong.
He sat down eagerly on the bed, patted the mattress. "No waves. See?"
I snapped my fingers. "Ergo."
Theseus' worry melted and he looked at Percy in awe.
"You're doing it the way I did it?"
"Remembering the stories actually helps," Percy grinned back at his half-brother.
Ropes lashed around Crusty and flattened him against the mattress.
"Hey!" he yelled.
"Center him just right," I said.
The ropes readjusted themselves at my command. Crusty's whole head stuck out the top. His feet stuck out the bottom.
"What a hypocrite," Ariadne said crossly.
"Most monsters are," Perseus agreed with her.
"No!" he said. "Wait! This is just a demo."
I uncapped Riptide. "A few simple adjustments..."
I had no qualms about what I was about to do. If Crusty were human, I couldn't hurt him anyway. If he was a monster, he deserved to turn into dust for a while.
All the demigods and gods agreed with him. The Furies scowled ferociously and Hades reached to pat them all gently. "All monsters deserve it except for you three and the hellhounds," he placated them.
"You drive a hard bargain," he told me. "I'll give you thirty percent off on selected floor models.'"
"I think I'll start with the top." I raised my sword.
"No money down! No interest for six months!"
"I can't believe he really thought that would work," Orion said in disbelief.
"Monsters aren't the most sensible beings," Hercules shrugged.
I swung the sword. Crusty stopped making offers.
I cut the ropes on the other beds. Annabeth and Grover got to their feet, groaning and wincing and cursing me a lot.
The other gods all looked at Percy rather sheepishly now that it was over. They should've known he was just trying to trick Procrustes.
Percy simply rolled his eyes at them and nodded at Jason to continue the book. Hera and Hades just smirked. It was nice to be the ones in the right for once.
"You look taller," I said.
"Very funny," Annabeth said. "Be faster next time."
That caused many in the room to laugh a little.
I looked at the bulletin board behind Crusty's sales desk. There was an advertisement for Hermes Delivery Service, and another for the All-New Compendium of L.A. Area Monsters—"The only Monstrous Yellow Pages you'll ever need!" Under that, a bright orange flier for DOA Recording Studios, offering commissions for heroes' souls. "We are always looking for new talent!" DOA's address was right underneath with a map.
"The monsters need to know where to direct the souls of the newly deceased," Persephone defended, seeing the looks on the others' faces. She urged Jason to continue reading before Demeter could begin wailing at Hades for corrupting her daughter.
"Come on," I told my friends.
"Give us a minute," Grover complained. "We were almost stretched to death.'"
"Then you're ready for the Underworld," I said. "It's only a block from here."
"And we're done! Who wants to read next?" Jason asked looking up from the book. Reading was terrible. He was constantly being glared at by someone far more powerful than him at all times. Aphrodite smiled at him, reminding him strongly of her daughter Piper.
"I'll read." She summoned the book over to her and began to read after tucking strands of her long hair behind her ears....Annabeth Does Obedience School
Hey everyone! A lot of people have been telling me that they forgot this story existed which is totally understandable. I'm just really happy you all liked it enough to come back and continue reading. Thank you! It made me so happy to see so many people still like the story. Hopefully you liked this chapter too.
Next is the Underworld! Hades has a lot to say, so be prepared. Again, I'm on tumblr as celestialtitania. Feel free to come by and talk to me or ask me any questions about the myths I've been using for the story! Hoping you and your families stay safe in this time!
