Content warning: The story is about to take an extremely dark turn
Dusk Til Dawn
One Year Ago
"Come on, Hil. One time and your life is your own again," Garland strolled towards her slowly. Hilary backed up until her back hit the wall. Garland leaned over her, trapping her on either side with his arms. He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I promise to make it good for you." His teeth closed on her earlobe, biting it gently. She closed her eyes.
Could she do this? One night. One night and she could leave VIP, get a new place, start a new life…
Garland took her silence as acceptance. His lips closed over hers, his mouth hot on her own. He kissed her hard, his arms wrapping around her tightly.
Eventually he moved them onto the bed, kissing her deeply, his tongue probing and his lips aggressive, before moving onto her neck. Hilary had her arm slung over her eyes. Tears were pouring down her cheeks. They had been since they had started and refused to stop. Garland didn't seem to care.
He was unbuttoning her shirt when Hilary could take no more. She shoved him so hard he fell off the bed. He stared up at her questioningly.
"…I can't do this." She didn't hesitate, grabbing her bag and running down the stairs.
"Hil, wait!" He called after her, but she was already out the door.
One Week Later
Hilary was just leaving the stage when he approached her.
"Hil," She looked up to see Garland standing in front of her. She turned to return backstage but he grabbed her arm. "Wait, please. I'm sorry. I was drunk and stupid and never should have suggested it."
"You got that right," She said ripping her arm from his grasp and stalking away. He followed.
"Hil, please forgive me. I fucked up okay? I was stupid and impatient and drunk. I miss us. Can you please forgive me?" He questioned, his eyes pleading. "You can have all the time you need to move on. I won't pressure you anymore." Hilary sighed.
"I forgive you, Garland but you need to realize our friendship is all it will ever be. Friendship. I just don't see you in a romantic sense. Can you accept that?" Garland hesitated before nodding.
"Yes, I can accept that."
The Next Day
"Thanks for being so forgiving," Garland said as he turned to her, handing her a drink the bartender had made.
"Let's just never mention it again," Hil said, taking a sip of the cocktail he'd handed her. "Mmm…This is good."
"It's a cosmo, do you like it?" She nodded, taking another sip.
It wasn't long before she knew something wasn't right.
Feeling lightheaded, she tried to stand to go to the bathroom and stumbled, falling into Garland's extended arms.
"Whoa," She said, shaking her head and trying to get her bearings. Her arms felt like lead weights and her thoughts, sluggish.
"What's wrong?" Garland questioned.
"I don't…feel so good," She responded weakly, pressing her hand to her forehead. Was she sick?
"You want to go home?" He questioned, his lips by her ear. She nodded, slumping against him for support. Hilary felt her legs being swept out from underneath her as Garland lifted her into his arms. She protested feebly, but her words came out a garbled mess. She felt her eyes slide shut.
Later That Night
"Mmph." Hilary felt herself being rocked, her mind fuzzy.
"Kai?" She mumbled. She heard a chortle.
"Not quite. Thanks for the throwback though." She shook her head, trying to clear her jumbled thoughts. She glanced up at the man who was carrying her.
"Garland?" That's right. She had gone to a club with Garland. She hadn't seen Kai in over two years…
Garland pushed open an apartment door, carrying her inside.
"Are we home yet?" She questioned sleepily.
"Almost." She nodded, letting her eyes slide shut again.
Hilary awoke to the feel of the bed lowering next to her. Her eyes fluttered open.
"Garland? This is your place, not mine." She tried to sit up, but her limbs still felt heavy. She flopped back onto the bed. He was rummaging through the nightstand next to her, laying things on the bed but she couldn't even turn her head to look at what they were.
"What're you doing?" She mumbled. He turned to her, his eyes grave.
"I really didn't want it to come to this, but you gave me no choice."
"What're you talking about?" She tried moving again but everything felt so heavy.
"I was patient and kind and listened to you bitch about how miserable your life was and then you decide to ice me?" She didn't understand. What was Garland saying?
Her eyes drifted to the needle clutched in his fist. "What's that?"
"This," He held the syringe between his fingers. "Is something you won't even remember come tomorrow morning. Well, combined with the Zaleplon I gave you earlier." He unbuckled his belt, sliding it off and securing it around her upper arm. Hilary tried to get up yet again, but her arms felt like they weighed 100 pounds.
"Garland, I don't understand." Her brain still felt foggy. She tried to rise again, but Garland easily pushed her back down.
"Don't fight it. This is all going to be over in a minute."
The reality of the situation began to hit her and terror filled her core.
"Garland…please don't do this. I don't want to take that." Hilary pleaded, tears coming to her eyes.
"Hilary, don't be upset. In about one minute you'll be floating on a cloud of Brown Sugar."
"No, no, no," She whispered as he came closer. "Garland, please," She begged one final time. He shrugged off his sweater, leaning over her as he clutched the syringe.
"Shh…Just close your eyes and relax."
The Next Morning
Hilary slowly began to claw her way back to reality. Her eyes blinked a couple times, adjusting to the light. She tried to turn onto her stomach but felt immensely weak. Finally, with much exertion she managed to roll sideways onto her elbows. She rubbed her head, looking around her.
How had she ended up at Garlands place? And why was she so sore? She glanced at the clock. It was three in the afternoon. The events of the night slowly came back to her. Garland picking her up at home, going out to a club with him, feeling way too drunk considering she had one cocktail…
It was then she realized she wasn't wearing any clothes. A feeling of dread rolled through her as she realized the area between her legs was sticky.
She put her hand to her mouth in horror.
"You're finally up." She whipped her head around. Garland was coming up the stairs, holding a mug of coffee.
"Stay away," Hilary said, wrapping the sheet around herself and scooting as far away from him as possible. Garland smirked.
"That's not what you said last night," He said, taking a seat at his desk and sipping his coffee calmly.
"You think I don't remember? You raped me." She accused, surreptitiously looking around for her clothes.
"Really? That's not what I recall."
"Fuck you!" Hilary yelled, getting to her feet and holding the sheet around her naked body. She stumbled, tangling her feet to the sheets and crashing to the floor. She felt so weak. Her arms stared to tremble.
Garland smiled again, placing the mug down and getting to his feet. He stepped closer. Hilary backed into the wall when he crouched in front of her.
"What I remember is…you propositioning me outside the club you work at…$5,000 for the night with you. I remember you offering me drugs which I, of course refused. And I remember hours of consensual sex."
"You prick, you think I don't remember everything that happened?" Hilary snapped, not believing his gall.
"Let's be real Hilary. It doesn't matter what you remember. You're just some drug addicted stripper who sold herself for the night…At least that's what the cops will think. Especially since there's no Rohypnol in your blood. I made sure of that. All they'll see when they do a tox screen is the H…and maybe some evidence of the sleeping pills I slipped into your cocktail last night to get you drunk, but they should be out of your system by now," He said serenely. "Oh! And there's the money I deposited into your bank account. You're welcome, by the way." He smirked.
"What money?" Hilary whispered.
"For our night together. $5,000 was the agreed upon amount, was it not? Kinda pricey for one night, but whew. You were worth it." Hilary shoved him. He fell back onto his butt.
"You think you can scare me into staying silent?" She whispered fiercely.
"Let's be real Hilary. Whose word do you think they're gonna take? The respected professional athlete from a well off family or some junkie prostitute looking for her fifteen minutes in the spotlight?" Hilary felt tears sting at her eyes. Garland grinned. "And what would your old team think of you then? If they thought you turned into some cheap whore?"
"Stop," Hilary begged, her hand coming to her mouth. She shielded her eyes. The very thought of her old team thinking those things…
"The choice is yours. The door is right there."
Present Time
"I never said anything, of course," Hilary continued, tears sliding down her cheeks. "He was right. No one would take my word over his." She had told Kai everything, pulling no punches. She was tired of hiding, tired of lying. The truth was finally out.
Kai's hand that wasn't holding Hilary was gripping the sheets so tightly he thought he was going to shred them. He had never felt rage like this, but for the sake of Hilary, was fighting to keep calm.
"Jesus Hilary," He whispered.
"After that, everything changed," She continued, her eyes vacant. "The first withdrawal was the worst I ever had. I had no reason to stay clean anymore. Half the girls at the club use. It was easy enough to find when I needed a fix."
"So Garland was the one who got you into heroin?" Kai questioned. Suddenly it all made sense. He had known Hilary would never go near the stuff on her own.
"I had never touched it before that night...But every time after that I sought it out on my own." Hilary refused to look at him.
"You were already addicted, Hil. It only takes one time," Kai argued. She shook her head.
"I could've kicked the stuff, but I didn't think I had a reason to. I've been so weak Kai."
"You aren't weak." Kai gripped her hand fiercely. "You're one of the strongest people I know." Hilary looked away. She clearly didn't believe his words. "…Hilary, why didn't you tell me?" Kai questioned, forcing her to look up at him. "In the kitchen, when we fought about…about what I thought you did?"
He had treated her abominably the past few weeks, all because he thought she had slept with Garland for cash. She had been raped and he had turned his back on her again. For the millionth time, he wished he could go back in time and stop himself from going to Russia. His grandfather's legacy be damned. She had needed him and he wasn't there. None of this would have happened if he had never left.
It was all his fault.
She looked at him and her face was immeasurably sad.
"You were so disgusted by what you thought I did. What would you have thought when you found out I was raped? What he did to me…How dirty I am…" Hilary sat up suddenly, scooting to the other side of the bed, as if she couldn't bear to touch him anymore.
"Hilary…" Kai said, trying to understand. "None of this was your fault."
"Isn't it?" She demanded, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "I befriended him. I let him into my life because I was so desperate and so lonely. I went out with him that night, even after he tried to pay me to sleep with him-"
"None of that was an invitation for him to violate you, Hilary." Kai said fiercely, taking her shoulder for emphasis and making her look into his eyes. "Listen to me. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault." She stared at him, blinking.
"Do you really mean that?"
"Yes," He said without hesitation.
"So you're not mad at me?"
Kai almost wanted to laugh at how absurd her statement was, but resisted for her sake. Instead, he took her hand and gently pulled her to his chest.
"No, I'm not mad. Thank you for finally telling me the truth." Hilary sighed, loosely returning his hug. "Can I ask you something?" She nodded. "Whatever happened to the money?"
"I refused to touch it. As far as I know it's still sitting in that account. I stopped using it after what happened."
"Perfect. It'll be our evidence. Tomorrow morning I'll take you to the police station, first thing."
"The police station?" She questioned, leaning away from him to stare up at him inquiringly.
"To report what he did."
"Kai…I can't do that." Hilary shook her head. "I can't go through a trial…Especially with the boys back in my life. I'd die if they knew."
"Hil, if you don't report it he's going to get away with it." Hilary remained silent. Kai sighed.
"I'm not gonna force you to do anything, but if you don't report it, he might do to the same thing to someone else." He stroked her cheek tenderly, trying to take some of the harshness out of his words.
Hilary looked away again.
"I can't," She whispered in a small voice. Kai watched her for a moment. He couldn't make this decision for her. This was something she needed to do on her own.
"Okay." He said. "But you can always change your mind." She nodded. "From here on out…No more games and no more lies. We one hundred percent honest with each other, okay?" She looked up at him.
"Okay," She agreed, her voice raspy. "Then…I have something I need to tell you." Kai analyze the expression on her face that he could only describe as…guilt?
"I know Garland confronted you at the club today," He said, misreading her intentions.
"It's not that." She took a deep breath. "The other day, the day you didn't come to the club…Takashi offered me some H." She swallowed. "And I used."
Kai's face remained blank.
"It was only that one time?" She nodded. "Thank you for being honest. Now let me ask you something Hil…Do you want to get clean?"
"Yes." There was no hesitation in her voice. "That was the last time. I promise."
"I believe you. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, Hilary, but I really wish you would quit the club. That place isn't good for you. I know you want to support yourself, but please," He was on the verge of begging, but he didn't care. "Anywhere but there. I need to be able to keep you safe. You can go back to school, do whatever you'd like. I'll support you in whatever you choose." Hilary stared down at her lap, pulling on her fingers.
"I can't quit," She said quietly.
"Why?" Kai didn't get it. He couldn't fathom why she would want to work there, after all that had happened. She remained silent for a few moments, refusing to meet his gaze. Finally, she opened her mouth, her voice a whisper he had to strain to hear.
"Because what will I do when you get tired of me? When you realize that you can do so much better than me…When you don't want me anymore." Kai rubbed his forehead, vexed.
As much as he wanted her to move on and forget about what he had done to her in the past, the scars were embedded deep within her, even worse than he had anticipated.
"Hilary." He said her voice sternly, gripping her hands tightly with his own to emphasize his point. "Look at me." She did, her ruby eyes wide and clearly expressing the vulnerability she was feeling. "I am never going to abandon you again. I swear it on my life, Hil." She swallowed, still staring into his eyes.
Then she kissed him. Roughly, desperately. She gripped his hands tightly, as if they were a lifeline. Kai kissed her back, understanding her need for something tangible. Proof of his commitment to her, his love for her.
He let go of her hands, pulling her into his lap and wrapping her in his arms, one hand running up her back to tangle in her hair. Her soft lips were insistent and aggressive on his own, but he maintained his easy going, slow pace. Each kiss was gentle and passionate, proof of how much he cared for her.
He didn't want this time to be like any of the other times she had with anyone else.
Eventually, she matched his tempo. He took it slow, just kissing for a long time. He didn't want it to feel rushed. He wanted it to feel natural.
He took his time undressing her, treating each piece of exposed flesh reverently. When he entered her, he kept their eyes locked. When she looked away, he pulled her chin towards him staring into her eyes as he began to thrust.
Afterwards, they lay in each others' arms, drowsing and enjoying each others company without having to speak. Kai was just drifting off when he heard her speak.
"What did you say?" He mumbled, looking down at her. She looked up at him.
"No one's ever done that to me before."
"Done what?"
"Made love to me," She whispered. Kai smiled and kissed her brow. He knew what she meant. They had had sex before but that was the first time they had made love.
"It was long overdue Hil."
It wasn't much in the way of apologies, but it was a start. He was going to show her how much he cared about her. That she was more than a friend. More than a lay.
That she was everything.
