Ok! Last Chapter - Like for real this time!

Sorry, not really sorry but this story will end with Adam's POV. I just can't help it. In the earlier seasons he seemed like such a lovable dufass. I can write dufass.

VOIGHT'S HOUSE

4 days later - Saturday night

He writhed against the bonds holding him in the chair, all encompassing pain engulfed his body. All thought was banished from his mind, all control left him, he was powerless to stop the screams. Over and over they tasered him, until again, the taser lifted from his body, leaving it quaking from the residual electricity. His wrists continued to burn against the ropes that bound him, as the trembling in his body continued. The terrorists had stopped asking for information awhile ago, this was for their fun. A blow to the head with the butt of a rifle was what finally granted his reprieve, slamming him into unconsciousness.

He was unable to catch his breath as the taser hit him again and again, his body crying out in pain. When the electricity finally left his body he was confused, wondering why he was cold when he had been so hot before. He opened his eyes and found he was not in the tent in the desert but in a cold concrete room. The men standing around him were not terrorists but caucasians wearing all black.

A scream woke him up and he wished it would stop so he could go back to sleep. There was no pain when he was asleep. He felt the scream reverberating through his chest…he was the one screaming. The smell of burnt flesh invading his nostrils…he opened his eyes and saw the terrorist crouching down by the fire, the barrel of a dismantled gun on the coals. He turned to me, smiled and showed me the glowing metal…the smile turning to an angry frown by my lack of reaction. He charges to me and without preamble shoves the burning metal to my stomach. I held off for as long as I could…he dug the hot metal further into my skin and I could not stop the scream that escaped my lips. The terrorist smiled.

He was back in the basement. Hanging from the ceiling, wrists burning as his body twisted with a blow to his abdomen, then another and another. A bruising hold by another on his hips to keep him from moving but he moved anyway, his sides slick with blood, they lost their grip and he swung back and into another blow, this one sending him to sweet oblivion.

He was in another room. A bedroom. Again the taser hit him and his body stiffened, heightening the pain. When the taser was removed, his body trembling, he curled up into a ball. He couldn't stop the never ending groan that escaped his clench jaw. He didn't want to give them that but was unable to stop it. A blurry face leaned over him, the voice too far away and distorted to identify the language…"Fuck you mother fucker," he mumbled. That didn't elicit the reaction which usually came with that phrase, confusing him. Murderer! Piece of shit!, Disgrace! echoed in his mind. Eventually he could understand the voice outside his head, see the face, Darnoldson…me…Voight? "Jay. Wake up. It's just a dream. Come on, kid…come back…your in Chicago… …Halstead!" What was Voight doing here? In the desert, in the basement. Murder! Disgrace! You have no honor! Disgrace! He groaned as the electricity shot through his body and he jerked away. Why is Voight tasering me? "Why are you doing this to me?" He couldn't stop the anguished sob, "I tried, I tried so hard. I'm sorry…Please Voight…I'm sorry…"

Warm water running over his body loosening his muscles…falling…falling…caught by strong arms… Someone drying him… "It's okay kid…let me do it…" …clothes…tying his arm to his chest…Voight…he looked around the room…he was at Voight's…his sling…he closed his eyes not able to look at his boss, flushing with embarrassment as he remembered the nightmare. Was he speaking farsi? He wanted to laugh when Voight gave him his meds then tucked him in, then he wanted to cry. "You did good kid, you did good. Sleep, I'll be here." He blinked his eyes closed watching Voight sit down in the chair. He was safe…he was at Voight's…he was safe…

xxxxxxx

He's not sure how he ended up here instead of Erin's…or Will's. Granted, Will's working long hours and no one wanted him to be alone, which was a nice thought. A nice thought that he hoped wouldn't end up biting him in the ass with their chronic hovering. But he's still here instead of Erin's and he's not quite sure how that happened. All he knows is that he fell asleep on the way home from the hospital and woke up in front of Voight's house when Kev and Adam were trying to maneuver him out of the car.

It's not quite as bad being here as he thought it would be. When Voight was the only one to side with him about leaving the hospital early, he thought he'd won the argument and was getting his way, he didn't realize it meant staying with Voight.

Everyone headed out after they got him "settled." "Settled" didn't last very long. Once the heavy duty pain meds they gave him in the hospital started to wear off, the nightmares started. It was a pretty rough night but not as embarrassing as it could have been. The nightmares were never ending but Voight didn't make a big deal about it. He would just wake Jay up, give him his meds if needed, see if he needed anything else, then leave, shutting the door part way.

The last nightmare, however, was embarrassing. He couldn't seem to get out of it even after he woke up. He was back in that basement then it switched to the terrorist compound and they were being particularly brutal. He had tightened up his body to the blows they were landing in the dream and it carried over to being awake. The pain was so intense when he woke up, he wasn't able to uncurl from the fetal position he was laying in, then he couldn't stop the trembling that was overrunning his body for what seemed like forever. By then, he was soaked, his sheets were soaked and he needed a shower.

Voight got him out of bed, helped him to the bathroom for a quick shower, caught him when he almost passed out, got him dressed and had him wait in a chair while he changed his sheets and changed his bandages.

The whole time he was speaking to Voight in Farsi and didn't realize it. Voight not understanding a word he was saying, basically had a one sided conversation with him. He spoke English, Jay answered in Farsi. It was while Voight was putting his sling back on, that he seemed to come back all the way. His face flushed with embarrassment but Voight didn't say anything about the nightmare or the Farsi. Just helped him back to bed, asked him if he was good and when he replied with a nod, covered him up and left the room.

God, this was weird. But not in a bad way.

xxxxxxx

Sunday afternoon

Voight had invited everyone over to watch the Bears - Packer game. Even Mouse was invited, which was somewhat surprising, given that he was a Viking's fan. Voight let it be known that he viewed being a Viking fan as, basically, a chronic illness and therefore couldn't be helped. Mouse was welcomed but not allowed to cheer for the Packer's while in his house. Mouse assured him that that wouldn't be a problem as his second favorite team was always the team playing the Packers. Therefore, he would be cheering for the Bears.

It was a pretty festive atmosphere. Probably equal parts football party/celebration that the whole Darnoldson thing was behind them. Well, in a manner of speaking since Jay had a hell of a lot of healing to do. But festive just the same. They had all talked about whether this was a good idea and ultimately came to the conclusion that Jay needed to be around us.

Jay made it through the first quarter then fell asleep. We didn't have to worry about waking him up with cheering since the Bears were getting creamed. Our quiet groans were not enough to wake him.

It was at the start of the third quarter, when Jay woke up with a start, flinching into the back of the recliner. It took a minute or so for his eyes to clear and realize where he was. His embarrassment was evident and there was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Erin was just about to say something when Jay looked at the TV, noticed the score and deflected in a somewhat broken voice, "Are you kidding me? They're down 32-0? I'm should become a Packer fan just to punish the Bears for sucking so bad." Relieved by Jay's deflection but surprised by what he said, they are stunned. Did he just say that!

Voight heads for the kitchen, "I'm going to let that slide Halstead and chalk it up to the concussion."

"Wow, I can't believe you said that out loud…in Voight's house…"

He shrugs, winces, then gives them his shit eating grin, knowing he's getting away with something, "Like Voight said, Concussion…"

xxxxxxx

Everyone's in the kitchen, getting more snacks and beers, avoiding the living room. Jay fell asleep again and another nightmare jerked him awake. Most of us were already out of the room and the rest of us, except Erin, left to get snacks in the kitchen so he wouldn't get embarrassed again.

Voight went back into the living room, interrupting Jay and Erin's quiet conversation, to give Jay his meds, then helped him up so he could use the bathroom. They all couldn't help but notice Jay's slow, unsteady walk, Voight following behind.

Adam ever worrying about his friend, stopped Voight on his way by, "How's he doing?"

They can practically feel the breeze created by Jay's eye roll when he answers from down the hall, "HE'S doing fine!"

A second later they hear the door to the restroom close.

Al being Al shrugs, "I guess he's doing fine."

xxxxxxx

2 week later

ADAM POV

Jay's not anywhere near being cleared for light duty yet but he's shown up the last 3 days anyway. He's bored at home and Will's driving him nuts, so he hangs out in the bullpen causing trouble by making me goof off when I should be doing paperwork. Since Jay's technically not back at work, I get in trouble and he gets off scot free. When Jay's not getting me in trouble he takes, for the most part, nightmare free naps in the break room. When he's not taking naps or bothering us, he takes his show on the road and bugs Platt with impunity. His reasoning being that she can't be too mean to him right now since he still has some bruises and his arm's in a sling. Personally, I think they're secret buddies, which they will both vehemently deny.

xxxxxxx

ONE WEEK LATER

I didn't realize I was staring at Jay until he gave me a smirk and an eye roll to which I responded by whipping him the bird. Jay one upped me with a double bird and another smirk and went back to work. I went back to work too but with a clenched jaw. When Jay whipped him the double bird his wrists were visible, a blunt reminder of what Jay went through. The scars are horrible and it would be obvious to anyone what caused them. Shit. I wonder if his head spins as much as mine. I don't know how he could be so calm after all that had happened to him. I feel kind of bad. Half of me was happy that he appears okay and seems to have moved on. The other part of me is worried that he is so calm. That doesn't seem "normal." This is all just a bit much for me right now. I need some air. Ten minutes later I am leaning against the wall outside the roll-up, lost in the clouds, when I decide to go back in.

"Jesus Christ Mouse! You scared the shit out of me." Mouse is standing right in front of me. It's like he appeared out of thin air, I didn't hear him or feel his presence. "How long you been there?"

"He's okay, I mean, he's not but he will be."

"Shit Mouse…"

"Adam, he's going to be okay. Unfortunately, him working through this is nothing new. But he's strong, he's done it before, he'll do it again."

"I don't think I really want to know that."

"He WILL be okay. He's got the best kind of support, right? He's got me, you, Erin, all of us…Will. You know he's been talking to Al a lot and Dr. Charles. He knows we're here for him. I'm not shitting you Adam, there will come a time when he's not acting 'as if.' We just need to be there. Just keep doing what you're doing…"

"Okay, ya okay. I can do that…Thanks Mouse"

He gives Adam's shoulder a squeeze, "No one can pull off pain in the ass like you. He'll need that."

They turn to go back upstairs and see Jay leaning against the door jam. It's obvious he heard the whole conversation. Adam looks embarrassed, Mouse looks like he was daring Jay to contradict him.

Jay just raises an eye brow, not totally letting Mouse get away with it, then gives them both a small, very Jay like smile and shakes his head and turns to go back up stairs, "Really Mouse. Do you have to encourage him?"

Mouse and Adam exchange a look and Adam, gives a nod and blows out a breath…believing Mouse…everything will be okay. Jay will be okay.

xxxxxxx

A/N

Hope the ending did justice to the rest of the story and thanks for reading!

A/N 2

I crack myself up on how many chapters said "last chapter coming up- liar liar pants on fire!

Annnnnd another long-ass, bane of my existence, story is put to bed. I'm going to TRY to work on 'Jay' now and finish that one up but my muse might have a different idea. It is so hard for me finish these stories and I think my weird writing technique has something to do with it but it's just the way it flows. Who knows, maybe it isn't so weird.

It goes something like this:

+Read last chapter to figure out where the hell I am in story…

+Muse (her name is Barbara) cracks knuckles, starts to rock it…writing writing writing

+Screw my muse. My brain cell takes over.

+Brain cell hits enter about 5 times and start new paragraph way down yonder- an idea for later in story, write write write

+Brain cell is done, Jump back up the page to where muse is rocking it. Write write write write.

+Muse needs coffee. Brain cell sneaks back, it has another idea. I lllllliiiiiike it. Jumps waaaaayyyyy down the page starts new paragraph. Write write write

+Jump back up to that where I (ok ok Barbara, YOU) started this whole conglomeration…write write write.

+Oooooh more stuff for that first new idea - that idea takes over the day. Muse sits in corner, drinking coffee waiting to pounce.

And that's the way my day goes. Eventually I have to move parts of paragraphs around and fill in more stuff and eventually that chapter is done and my brain hurts. Originally I fought this process but now I just go with it and let my brain cell and my muse duke it out. I am pretty good at recognizing when I am forcing it and stop at that point…or I might jump to another story I'm working on if my brain and muse agree…if they don't agree, I go home and watch MSNBC and piss myself off. Later, my muse hits me up along side the head, wakes up my brain cell, they team up against me and we go back to writing, usually in the middle of the night when I am trying to sleep. I think it's punishment for getting wrapped up in political bullshit when I could be beating the shit out of my TV boyfriend.

Ok, that's all I got. Thanks for reading!

Another A/N omg!

I've got some new ideas for stories…wanna hear (read) them? No?…Tough: here they are with short description.

A Shit Day (Straight up Jay Whump - a dash of angst, a good ass kickin, comfort)

The One that Doesn't Count (angsty whump, whumpy whump - Jay, Will and their asshole of a father)

Intelligence One Shot Erin/Jay - yay! I finished this one! Yay me!

Fucked Up, Fucked Over - IA goes after Jay. Voight saves the day. Jay gets more owies.

He's a Keeper (So says the creeper) Dark themes. Super angst, hurt Jay, super duper angst. Poor Jay. Angst angst angst.

See, see, see… this is what my Muse does to me. I am not the one who wears the brain in the family when it comes to writing, Barbara does, so 'Jay' might stay on the back burner. Sometimes I think she likes to f*ck with me with the timing of a new idea or she starts to roll when I get up to pee (sorry, TMI) in the middle of the night, goodbye sleep. But I am grateful for her just the same…most of the time.

Oh…back to my writing technique, when all else fails, work on your authors note for end of story.

If you tell me which one you would like me to work on I'll give it a whirl but I am not in charge here…talk to Barbara.