A Good Day for a Swell Battle
"So, K. Rool's not only out to steal DK's bananas but also to completely destroy DK Isle?" asked Luigi.
Funky Kong nodded. "While DK was fighting in the Smash tournament, that pesky Kremling swooped in and took his family members captive," he said. "After they managed to free themselves with DK's help, they all worked together to destroy King K. Rool's cannons—the cannons which would've been used to annihilate their home. Now, the DK Crew intends to settle this once and for all—by challenging K. Rool to a final battle in his own boxing ring.
"After we recovered our supply of bananas and put the kibosh on K. Rool's latest evil scheme, DK told us about your situation. You know, with everyone giving you a hard time with the tier lists and all. And he's personally invited you to cheer him on in the final showdown against his archnemesis."
"That's very nice of him," said Samus. "We're very glad he's thinking of us."
"And we're glad that he and his family are safe," Link put in.
"This K. Rool—he didn't…" Ness started to ask.
"No—the members of the DK Crew he captured are relatively unscathed, save for some bruises," Funky assured them. "They can't wait to meet you, by the way."
"This K. Rool sounds like a vicious mother," mused Luigi.
"Oh, believe me," said Funky. "He is. However, he's assured us that any visiting spectators will come to no harm. He may be a thorn in our side, but at least he has standards."
"Thank God," said Luigi. "We've dealt with enough b.s. as it is."
"Traffic is pretty light at the moment," said Funky. "We should get there before too long. Would you care for some music?"
"Please," said Ness.
Funky slid a CD into the car's stereo as his four passengers leaned back and enjoyed the ride.
…
Funky, Sam, Ness, Link and Luigi arrived at the venue in record time. The four Smashers received special "VIP passes" and were told that the seating area's front row was reserved just for them. Two Kremling ushers escorted them to their seats and handed them a program each.
"Wait!" cried Luigi as Funky turned to leave. "Aren't you gonna watch, too?"
Funky grinned. "I need to get ready for a special appearance later," he replied with a wink.
"Okeydokey," said Luigi.
"Hang onto your seats," said Funky. "This is gonna be a wild and crazy night."
On those words, he was gone.
"Hey," said one of the Kremling ushers. "After all of this blows over, I hope we can become friends."
Samus smiled. "We'd like that," she said.
The Kremling usher nodded. "After all—it's nothing personal. It's just good business."
Both Kremling ushers shook hands with the quartet.
"Enjoy the fight," they said before taking their leave.
The venue soon filled up with other Kremlings eager to watch their King in battle. These Kremlings eyed the four Smashers suspiciously, but they otherwise showed no hostility toward them. Whether it was for practical reasons or for a show of good sportsmanship, they had no way of knowing.
Four more Kremlings in chef's attire approached the four Smashers, wheeling a portable table in front of them and setting down four appetizer sampler platters.
"On the house," said one of them.
"Thanks," said Link.
Just as the Kremling chefs departed, the lights dimmed, and a huge cheer went up from the stands.
A microphone with a moustache, clad in a boxing announcer's tuxedo, hopped into the boxing ring and addressed the crowd.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he boomed. "Welcome to the main event! We bring you twelve 3-minute rounds of boxing for the undisputed heavyweight championship of DK Isle. This event is presented to you by Rare Games, Nintendo and the Dole Fruit Company in association with K. Rool Enterprises!"
Applause.
"Introducing our challengers—the Kong Family!" the talking microphone went on.
A light shone onto a corner of the ring, where the DK Crew was gathered, warming up for the big fight.
The Kremlings booed and hissed, while the four Smashers leaped to their feet and cheered.
"Don't worry about him, DK!" shouted Luigi. "Just go the distance!"
DK spotted his newest friends and gave them a thumbs-up and a grin.
"And please, put your hands together for our champion—His Majesty, King Krusha K. Rool!"
The Kremling King himself descended into the boxing ring on a chain, waving to the crowd. "Thank you!" he said. "You're beautiful, all of you!"
King K. Rool was a giant, hulking alligator with a singular wild, bloodshot eye. He was clad in a royal blue wrestling singlet, red boxing gloves and red boots, one of which had a modest-sized hole in the front. A shiny, gold crown was perched atop his head, simple but commanding respect. As his Kremling constituents cheered, Samus, Ness, Link and Luigi booed and blew raspberries at him.
K. Rool dropped down from the chain, practically flattening the talking microphone. Luckily, said microphone was able to recover and hop to safety as K. Rool punched the air and then raised his arms.
"The judges at ringside are nonexistent, and your timekeepers tonight will act in a fair and unbiased manner!" the talking microphone assured everyone.
"Yeah, right," scoffed Luigi.
The bell chimed.
"Weighing in at a solid 800 lbs., I give you the prime primate—Donkey Kong, in the red corner!"
Luigi and his three companions cheered as the other Kremlings booed.
"And in the blue corner—our King, K. Rool!"
Everyone roared in anticipation as the four Smashers once again booed the villainous Kremling.
"Gentlemen," said the referee, addressing the two fighters. "I want a clean fight. There will be no blows below the belt or to the back of the head. You will follow my instructions at all times and protect yourselves at all times. Good luck to you both, and may the best fighter win."
DK and K. Rool touched gloves before retreating to their corners.
The timekeepers rang the bell a second time.
"Round 1!" announced the talking mic.
"Fight!" commanded the ref.
"Kick his [bleep], DK!" cheered Samus.
For the first minute or so, DK and K. Rool danced about the ring, exchanging jabs and body blows. The Kremling leader was quite the accomplished boxer, compared to DK's brawler style. The four Smashers bit their lips, watching DK take some wicked blows. The contest was gonna be close!
Then, the two combatants took a more pragmatic approach. K. Rool attacked with shockwave-producing ground-pounds, which DK avoided via jumping. Then, a barrel appeared in each corner of the ring, which Luigi was quick to notice.
"Hey, DK!" he shouted down to the giant ape. "Try jumping into one of those barrels! Maybe you can launch yourself at that crocodile!"
DK nodded before leaping into the first barrel he saw.
Anticipating the attack, K. Rool raised his gloved hands in front of him. However, he couldn't resist taunting his nemesis. Taking advantage, DK shot himself out of the barrel and collided with the croc's gut, sending him stumbling backwards.
"Whoo!" cheered Samus. "Not so tough now, are you, K. Rool?"
DK rolled away as K. Rool tried to counterattack and continued to evade those shockwave stomps. Then, he jumped into each of the three other barrels around the ring, turning himself into a hairy missile against his opponent as his four fellow Smashers watched raptly, enjoying their appetizers. After the fourth and final hit, K. Rool spun around a few times before crashing onto the mat.
"Yeah! You did it, DK!" shouted Ness.
The referee started to count, only for the bell to conveniently ring just as he reached eight.
"Saved by the bell!" shouted the mic.
"Fair and unbiased, my [bleep]!" groused Luigi.
K. Rool slowly rose to his feet as DK exchanged high-fives with his relatives. There was a brief time-out as the Kremling leader recovered from his thrashing and the mat was sanitized. K. Rool downed a sports drink and gazed at the four Smashers before whispering something to two other Kremlings.
"What's he up to?" Link asked with a frown.
"Don't engage him," warned Luigi. "It'll only make the situation messier."
A gaggle of Kremling ushers cleared away the four VIPs' eaten plates, replacing them with piping hot entrees and canned sodas.
"Looks good," said Samus.
The ushers nodded and then withdrew.
Quiet settled as the mic took his place in the center of the ring. "And now—making his way into the ring at this time, it's the champ of chimps," he said. "In the red corner—Diddy Kong!"
"Yeah! Go, Diddy!" Luigi called out to his fellow wingman.
DK's nephew, wearing his red baseball cap and red t-shirt, hopped from one foot to the other and did a series of backflips before giving Luigi a wave.
"Friend of yours?" asked Ness.
"I played Donkey Kong Country, and we met a few times," Luigi told him. "We have a lot and common, being the second player and all."
Diddy Kong and K. Rool touched gloves before the second round commenced.
For this fight, K. Rool used one of his boxing gloves as a boomerang, testing Diddy's trademark agility. Just one hit from that glove could knock Diddy onto his back, but he flipped himself back up before the ref even started counting. Swiftly, Diddy suited up in a jet pack and blasted off, opening fire on the stage lights with his trusty Peanut Popgun, still evading K. Rool's glove as he did.
"Wait a minute—is that allowed?" frowned Ness.
"With an opponent like K. Rool, you gotta think outside the box," said Luigi.
One by one, the stage lights fell on top of K. Rool, the last one landing directly over his head and bringing him to his knees. Once again, he was saved by the bell during the ref's count.
The boxing ring had darkened considerably, but the Kremlings didn't bother replacing the stage lights during the timeout. They were too busy trying to pull the stage light off of their King. Eventually, he waved them away, choosing to face his next opponent blind.
"He boats the longest reach currently in the world today," said the mic. "Introducing Lanky Kong, in the red corner!"
Lanky was clad in a white shirt and denim coveralls, waving his long arms tauntingly at the crowd. When the match started, he showed off his enviable reach by pressing blue buttons located several inches outside of the ring, which summoned a barrel. Then, Lanky threw the barrel into the middle of the ring, smashing it open to reveal a banana peel. Finally, he provoked K. Rool into charging at him, causing him to slip on the peel and fall flat on his behind. This elicited a laugh from the four Smashers.
"Clever," chuckled Link.
Lanky Kong repeated this strategy three more times before K. Rool crashed onto his back. This time, the corrupt timekeepers rang the bell four seconds into the ref's count.
While a team of Kremlings finally set to work putting up new stage lights, more Kremling minions pulled the stage light off of their King's head. A few more Kremlings checked on the four Smashers, setting out a chocolate cake for them to enjoy. For regular invaders of DK Isle, they were quite hospitable.
"Hailing all the way from DK Isle, it's the girl with the whirl," said the mic. "In the red corner—Tiny Kong!"
The feisty Tiny Kong wore her blond hair in pigtails, wearing a jumper with a sunflower on it into battle. When the round started, Tiny used those pigtails to fly out of the range of K. Rool's ground pounds. Then, she shrunk herself to bite-size and ran into the hole in her opponent's shoe.
"What's she doing?" asked Samus.
"I don't know," said Luigi. "Whatever it is, I hope it's painful."
And it was. A few seconds later, K. Rool yowled in pain, clutching his foot and hopping up and down before landing hard in a seated position. Back to her normal size, Tiny posed for the crowd, and then the entire cycle began again. Evading her foe's attacks with her whirling pigtails, shrinking herself down and then running into the King's damaged shoe to do God-knows-what with his toes. After three repetitions, K. Rool was rendered down for the count, only for his timekeepers to save him in the nick of time.
"Oh, come on!" yelled Link.
A Kremling iced and bandaged K. Rool's foot as more Kremlings stopped by the four Smashers with some ice-cream to complement their cake.
"Tipping the scales at a mighty 2000 lbs., he's the hard-hitting Chunky Kong, in the red corner!" announced the mic.
Chunky Kong glanced nervously at K. Rool, who glared menacingly back at him.
"Don't worry, Chunky!" said DK. "We've got your back."
Relief flooded through Chunky's body before he turned back to face his opponent, adopting a more confident posture.
The fifth round started, and K. Rool started launching himself off the ropes like a wrestler, turning invisible as he did. A button appeared in the middle of the ring, and when Chunky pressed it, it made the croc visible once more. Next, Chunky grew to gargantuan size and moved to a corner of the ring, standing his ground as K. Rool ran at him. As K. Rool pulled back his fist to strike, Chunky acted first, throwing a spectacular straight punch which knocked his foe across the ring.
"Awesome!" exclaimed Ness.
"Wicked cool," agreed Samus.
Chunky raised his arms in triumph and then shrunk back to his regular size, appearing more sure of himself as the seconds ticked by. The cycle repeated several more times, Chunky missing twice and taking a mighty uppercut from the croc. Eventually, however, he got the timing right, putting the Kremling King in his place with that singular straight punch. After three more straight punches, K. Rool fell onto the mat, stunned.
Those timekeepers rang the bell even before the ref started counting.
Chunky joined the rest of the DK Crew in a victory huddle as K. Rool regained his wits and dragged himself back to his feet. Then, the croc beckoned to the mic and whispered something to him.
"Now what's going on?" Sam wanted to know.
"Ladies and gentlemen—we are not done yet," the mic said to the audience. "It appears that four more challengers have been added to the lineup!"
A light then shone on the four Smashers, to gasps and murmurs of astonishment from the assembled Kremlings.
"Wait—what?" asked Ness.
"That's right!" crowed K. Rool. "DK told me a little bit about your little gathering! Think you have what it takes to stand up to me?"
Ness, Link, Luigi and Samus exchanged looks. Then, they fixed K. Rool with a determined look.
"You're on!" they said in unison.
"Do it, guys!" cheered DK.
"First, from the planet Zebes and trained in combat by the Chozo, I present to you, in the red corner—the Space Warrior, Samus Aran!" announced the mic.
Samus changed into her Varia Suit and stepped into the ring, bumping an armored fist against K. Rool's glove before the two retreated to their corners.
The round started.
K. Rool didn't give Sam time to prepare her Charge Shot, dancing in close and throwing crosses, jabs and hooks at her. She blocked his blows with her Arm Cannon and kept him at bay with her Bombs, dropping into her roly-poly form for quick getaway. She also kept him engaged with her missiles and quick fiery bursts from her Arm Cannon. Noticing the belt around K. Rool's waist, she snagged it with her Grapple Beam, easily whipping the croc into the air and slamming him back down. This winded him, allowing Sam to fire a fully charged Power Shot into his chest. It didn't hurt him too much, but it slightly singed his wrestling singlet. K. Rool comically hopped about for a bit in a desperate bid to put out the fire.
And then he laughed.
"Look at you," he said. "A pretty woman in a suit of armor. Take that off, and what are you?"
Samus arched an eyebrow before pressing a button on her Varia Suit. The armor folded outward, and the bounty huntress stepped out, clad in a sky blue sports bra with the Screw Attack emblem in the middle and sky blue leggings. She slid her hair into a ponytail and fastened sky blue gloves onto her hands. K. Rool gawked at her for a few minutes.
"Let's find out," Sam evenly told him. "Shall we?"
She raised her fists as K. Rool hunched his shoulders and charged, sending a left hook into his flank, followed by a body shot to the stomach.
"Oooh…" gasped the audience.
K. Rool shook off the pain and swung at his opponent, who expertly ducked and dodged every punch. Her green eyes shone as she danced back in and let a flurry of punches fly. She sent uppercuts into his abdomen and a haymaker into his jaw. K. Rool's wild roundhouse left swished just above her head, countered with her more precise roundhouse right. She stood in a balanced stance, her arms blocking the punches K. Rool aimed at her face, and then sucked in her stomach to absorb the impact of a body blow. With only a quarter of her wind knocked from her, she ignored the slight throbbing and aggressively moved back in, body swishing left and right as her calculated punches flew, her center of mass staying just out of K. Rool's reach. A few wisps of hair tickled her face, but she blew them aside, weaving all about the ring and giving this oversized croc everything she had.
"C'mon, then," she breathed, sweat rolling down her face and body. "You're the king. Come and take it. Come and take it."
"Don't provoke him," cautioned DK. "He's a formidable foe, despite his goofy appearance!"
Fluidly, Sam's body swished out of the way of a vicious haymaker, keeping her own flow of high and low punches going. "Is that all?" she asked. "I've faced more menacing monsters than you."
"So I've heard," K. Rool said smoothly as Sam danced away from another of his attacks. "Tell you what—after I win, perhaps we can talk more about this over dinner. My treat."
They exchanged some more blows before Sam's eyes fell on the gold plate at the front of K. Rool's belt. Taking a chance, she punched it with all her strength. K. Rool staggered back two paces, and Sam grinned. That was his weak spot! As the final seconds of the round ticked down, Sam landed a one-two punch on the gold plate, followed by another and another and another and another—until she had him trapped against the ropes. But before she could land the piece de resistance, the bell rang.
"Typical," she huffed, peeling off her gloves and shaking out her fingers. "Good fight, Your Highness."
"Same," said K. Rool, the two of them shaking hands.
Lanky Kong helped Sam out of the ring as DK handed her a bottle of Gatorade.
"Where did you learn to fight like that?" asked the astonished ape.
"The Chozo taught me how to fight hand-to-hand as well as with their weaponry," Sam explained.
"Seems to me that you can fight without your Varia Suit," said DK. "I should tell Master Hand about this!"
"Yeah. Maybe," said Sam.
"All right. Who's next?" asked DK.
"He is," said the mic, indicating Ness.
"Knock him out of the ball park, kid," said Tiny Kong, giving Ness a playful slap on the back.
Ness nodded to the DK Crew before swinging himself into the ring.
"In the red corner, hailing from Onett—here's the PSI Powerhouse, Ness!" cried the mic.
"Okay," said Ness, brandishing his baseball bat.
When the round started, K. Rool once again used one of his boxing gloves as a projectile, throwing it at his young opponent. But with a crisp swing of his baseball bat, Ness sent the boxing glove right back towards its owner. The teen did this two more times, leaving the croc open to an offensive attack. Concentrating hard, Ness directed a PK Thunder into that gold plate on K. Rool's belt, knocking the colossal croc against the ropes.
"Well played, Ness!" laughed DK.
K. Rool reoriented himself and repeated his attack pattern several more times, with Ness responding appropriately with his baseball bat and PK Thunder. On the fifth repetition, Ness used PK Thunder on himself, ramming hard into the center of his opponent's belly. With a groan, K. Rool slumped against the ropes and onto the mat. The ref started his count, the timekeepers ringing the bell in the nick of time.
"That was brilliant!" exclaimed DK as he watched a few Kremlings bring K. Rool back to his senses with some water and smelling salts.
"Yeah!" Diddy Kong chimed in. "Ness, the PSI Rocket! It has a nice ring to it."
Luigi hummed his assent. "I wish I could do that," he mused.
A Kremling tapped Link on the shoulder. "You're up," he said bluntly.
The elf rolled his shoulders. "Here we go," he said, making his way into the ring.
"In the red corner, from the magical land of Hyrule, I give you—Link, the Hero of Time and the bearer of the Triforce of Courage!" announced the mic.
Link drew his sword, and a Kremling handed K. Rool a rapier. The combatants exchanged the fencer's salute before getting into their fighting stances. And then the bell rang, starting the match.
The sound of clashing swords rang throughout the arena as both sides demonstrated their swordsmanship. K. Rool favored a direct, in-your-face approach of full lunges and swipes, whereas Link favored a more graceful and defensive style, seeking to tire out his opponent. After one strike from the Master Sword jarred K. Rool's grip on his rapier, Link quickly lunged forward, lightly poking his foe on the belly. Following the traditional rules of fencing, it was registered as a point. The first person to score five points would win the round.
K. Rool re-engaged Link, and after a heated fight, the elf gave his opponent another poke, this time on the golden plate of his belt. The circling, clashing, parrying, thrusting, seeking for an opening and lunging went on, the Kremling King gaining some traction with his own enviable blade work and trickery. Soon, they were tied at four points each, and Link was losing his breath. However, the DK Crew and their allies wouldn't give up hope.
Suddenly, Navi arrived on the scene, lazily floating around K. Rool. "Hey, listen!" she said.
The croc stared at the faerie in confusion. "Who…?" he started.
He didn't get to finish, as Link took initiative, poking him one last time and scoring the final point. The timekeepers rang the bell so hard that they knocked it from its stand.
"Okay, Luigi," said DK. "The fate of DK Isle rests in your hands. Bring this home for us, all right?"
Luigi took a deep breath. "Okeydokey," he said.
"And now," said the mic, "last but certainly not least, hailing from Brooklyn, New York and an alumnus of Colombia University, in the red corner, I present to you—the Eternal Understudy, Luigi!"
His face like stone, Luigi unhooked his coveralls and whipped off his shirt before re-buttoning the overalls. Then, he faced K. Rool and raised his fists, a bit shakily at first but gradually steadying.
"C'mon, Luigi," said K. Rool. "Come and get it."
The final round started.
The croc dashed at Luigi, who hung back, fluidly dodging K. Rool's punches and only returning with quick, light blows. A few more Kremlings jeered at the plumber's fighting style, calling him a chicken, only for their insults to bounce off of him. Then, Luigi dropped to the ground, throwing out a low kick which brought K. Rool down with him, and threw a fireball at him as he straightened back up.
At this, the ref briefly stopped the match and put a hand on Luigi's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, sir," he said, "but the use of kicks and fireballs is strictly prohibited during this match. I'll let it slide this time, but if it happens again, then I'll have no choice but to disqualify you and name K. Rool the winner."
Luigi rolled his eyes. "Now you tell me," he said as the Kremlings in the audience laughed at his misfortune.
The timekeepers exchanged a look before restarting the round. Again, Luigi stayed on the defensive, blocking and dodging his opponent's strikes and moving lightly on the balls of his feet, forcing the hulking Kremling to chase after him.
"Stand and fight, p—y!" a Kremling yelled.
The word chafed a bit, but Luigi barely gave it any thought, beginning to slip past K. Rool's guard with a series of one-two punches. Most of his blows targeted the body, especially the croc's flank and the center of his belly. The stage lights winked across his skin as his body dipped this way and that, anticipating K. Rool's every move and lashing back straight and true.
"Ah—there's the brilliant boxer from Colombia U," said K. Rool, landing a good one on Luigi's still-healing jaw. "How come you didn't go pro?"
"Being violent for a living wasn't quite my cup of tea," Luigi explained between haymakers and hooks.
"So you settled for a literally s—y job," quipped K. Rool.
"It's not as s—y as it used to be," Luigi quipped back, catching the croc off guard with a straight right, "and I make better money fixing sinks, toilets and faucets than spending a 9 to 5 day in the sewers."
"Yeah, well—nobody really knows you, do they?" asked K. Rool, aiming a blow at his opponent's hips. "Join me, and I promise that everyone will know the name 'Luigi Mario'."
Luigi smashed the croc hard below the chin. "I'll pass," he coldly responded, following up with a cross to the cheek.
"Your loss," said K. Rool, punching him twice in the abdomen and aiming a blow to the nose, only for Luigi to block it, his body swiveling to the side as his hand speared hard into the croc's solar plexus.
Breath whooshed from K. Rool, but he straightened and continued his attempts to pulverize his foe. But whatever Luigi lacked in size, he made up for it with speed and smarts, heavy blows missing him by a hair's breadth or meeting firm forearms and hard elbows. He feinted, feigning predictable attacks to draw the croc's attention elsewhere. And he was always on the move, flitting flawlessly, his body spinning aside to avoid trapping himself in tight spots. All the while, his fists pumped, just like when he was pounding a punching bag or sparring with a Polygon. Sweat forked down his upper chest, slid along his eyelashes, slipped between compressed lips and cleaved his overalls to his skin, but he kept fighting. The sight of him, holding out against K. Rool, stunned the Kremlings into complete silence.
A lucky blow from Luigi sent K. Rool spinning into his corner. A Kremling approached him then, bearing a pair of sterling silver knuckle dusters.
"Looks like you need some help, Your Grace," said the Kremling, holding out the knuckle dusters to his King.
Samus and Link covered Link's eyes, while Lanky and DK shielded Diddy and Tiny.
"Finish the job," the Kremling went on. "Slash up that plumber's pretty face."
Luigi studied his opponent alertly, fists up, guard up, stance rock-solid. He could withstand a few slashes from a knuckle duster; he had to endure Koopa's claws toward the end of a routine rescue mission. But if K. Rool was that desperate, and unless there was adequate emergency care nearby—
He shoved those thoughts away as quickly as they arrived. If K. Rool decided to accept the knuckle dusters, then he could still handle him. He could handle anything.
K. Rool looked from the proffered knuckle dusters to Luigi—flushed, sweat-sopped and breathing hard—and back again. And then he knocked the weapons out of his stunned subject's hands with a mighty swipe before whirling back on the plumber.
"Ready to finish this?" he asked.
Luigi nodded. "Come on," he exhaled.
His eyes sparked as he met K. Rool's next round of punches, blocking every last one before answering with a smooth and unbreakable rhythm of his own punches, searching out prime areas on the croc's body. He went for the golden plate on K. Rool's belt. He went for his left and right flank. He went for his gut and his solar plexus. And he didn't just attack with punches—he mixed in some open-palm and knifehand strikes, as well.
And then, with just seconds left in the final round, Luigi pulled back, dashed forward and—
KRIIINGG!
All of his strength went into the most epic Super Jump Punch anyone had ever seen!
K. Rool twirled around a few times before finally falling senseless onto the mat.
The timekeepers stared, slack-jawed, as the referee counted.
"1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10!"
The ref walked over to Luigi and raised his arm in victory. "Winner!" he cried.
Samus, Link, Ness, DK and the DK Crew stormed the boxing ring, hoisting Luigi onto their shoulders and celebrating.
"Yeah! We did it!" cheered DK. "We beat him!"
"It was about time," said Lanky.
"I've waited five long years for this," said Tiny. "Way to slug it out, Luigi!"
"Thanks, Tiny," said Luigi.
Then, he turned to Diddy. "You weren't too bad out there, yourself," he said. "I'll put in a good word to Master Hand for you, shall I?"
"Why not?" grinned Diddy.
King K. Rool picked himself back up, still a bit dazed. "DK," he said. "Those four friends of yours really know how to throw it down."
"Indeed," smirked DK.
"Good job, all of you," K. Rool went on, respectfully regarding the four Smashers. "No doubt, our paths will cross again."
"I hope so," Luigi said solemnly.
"But as for you," said the croc, swiveling back toward the DK Crew. "You may have won this battle, but the war is far from over! Just you wait! I'll…"
A whistle cut him off.
Everyone turned.
A well-endowed, anthropomorphic monkey emerged from one of the tunnels, wearing a midriff-baring top and short-shorts. She gave K. Rool a seductive wave before titillating him with various sensual poses.
"Whoa," said Samus, covering Ness's eyes.
"Who the heck is she?" asked Link.
"That's Candy Kong," said DK. "She's my new significant other."
K. Rool was taken by Candy's provocative display, straining against the ropes of his boxing ring and reaching out toward her as she giggled and flirted. Little did he know that Funky Kong was currently striding out of the tunnel on the other side of the boxing ring, a boot mounted on a launcher balanced on one shoulder.
Surreptitiously, DK noticed Funky and motioned for the DK Crew and the four Smashers to get out of the way.
Taking perfect aim, Funky activated the launcher, sending the boot shooting toward the distracted K. Rool. DK, his family and his fellow Smashers watched in amusement as the boot slammed into the croc's butt, sending him rocketing out of the arena. Not long after, there was a distant thump.
All of the Kremlings stared in shock for a few moments. Then, they practically stampeded out of the venue, leaving the DK Crew and the four Smashers standing in the ring, all but forgotten.
"Wow," said Luigi. "I guess we can say that K. Rool wound up with someone's foot up his [bleep]."
And they all laughed.
"Thanks for inviting us here, DK," said Ness.
"Yeah—you're a real pal," Sam chimed in.
"Guys, it was my pleasure," said DK. "I hope I didn't miss anything, though."
"You didn't miss much," Luigi assured him. "We'll tell you about it on the way back."
"How about we all go out to dinner first?" DK suggested. "I'm famished."
"So am I," said Link.
"Come to think of it," said Sam. "Me, too!"
Arm-in-arm, DK and his relatives walked out of the arena and toward their favorite restaurant, with his four newest pals not far behind.
Please R&R.
