Chapter 20
After her dream, and her most recent force bond with Kylo, Rey was more filled with doubt and fear than ever before.
It had only been a matter of time.
She allowed the unnamable force that had called to her during her first training session with Luke to guide her. She followed the rocks back to that place of darkness. A pit that overlooked the ocean. In this spot, the ocean was the deepest and darkest, roaring like the churning of a black hole.
She stood in front of the gaping hole, so dark she couldn't even see the bottom.
And suddenly the darkness pulled on her and made her fall in.
She was plunged into dark, salty waters.
But Rey remembered Ben's swimming lessons, and that day on the beach.
She kicked her legs and pushed the water with her arms, swimming up until she broke the surface.
Rey gasped as she pulled herself up and out of the water. When she looked around, she was surrounded by a shiny cave.
Down here, she couldn't even hear the ocean. It was as if the darkness itself absorbed all sound. It was dead silent. She couldn't even hear her own breathing.
The young padawan didn't fear the darkness. She only wished to see what it held.
She walked up to the cave's walls, so shiny and reflective they might as well have been mirrors.
Kylo couldn't be right. It just couldn't be true. That her parents had sold her into slavery without a second thought. There must have been a reason.
Who were they? Surely, if she saw their faces…she'd remember everything. It would all come flooding back to her.
"Let me see," she told the wall, as the frost from the mirror began to dissipate. "My parents." She gazed at the surface of the mirror, aching for answers. "Please," she begged.
The image in the mirror finally began to clear.
It looked like two people were walking towards her, from the shadows.
Her heart raced.
Finally, the frost had cleared.
She stared back at her own face, and nothing more.
She sank down to the ground in front of it, overwhelmed with despair, tears flowing uncontrollably.
With a fierce, primal longing, she wished Ben was here with her.
~.~
Kylo felt it. Light years away, he felt her pain.
He knew what she'd done, and what she'd seen.
Whether or not she knew it, Rey had come face-to-face with her path to the dark side; thinking she was all alone.
For the first time, he willed with his heart for the force connection to open. I need to be there for her, he thought.
Rey, he reached out with his mind, and his heart.
Ben! She wailed back, and the buzzing started again.
Kylo smelled the ocean. He heard the crackling thunder, the pouring rain, all blending with her sobs.
He turned around as the force bond's echoes became sharper.
She was running full tilt in his direction. At first Kylo thought she was running to attack him with a lightsaber.
But she was drenched to the bone, and suddenly, she was in his arms.
He gasped from the sensation.
He could physically feel her sobbing against his chest, like he was there with her.
He was starting to get drenched from the rain himself. If she kept on like this she was going to get sick.
"I w-wish you were here," she sobbed, her head buried into his shoulder.
His heart was in his throat, his own eyes stinging with tears. I'm here, he thought. I'm here.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said. Without asking or waiting for permission, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her bridal style, just as he had that day on Takodana.
And immediately, her surroundings melted into his, and he was on the Island with her. He looked ahead, and started walking.
~.~
Once they'd reached her hut, her surroundings dissolved and he was on his ship again. But she was still in front of him, slightly calmer now.
He grabbed a towel in his room and wiped off her face with it, then proceeded to put on a dry uniform shirt and sit so he was facing her after he wrapped her in a blanket.
"You couldn't let the past die," he said gently, knowingly.
She was shivering, but not from cold. "I know my parents loved me," she said, crying. "I know they did. I had to know who they were, and why they left me behind."
Kylo's gaze was open and gentle. "You found a cave that has a very strong connection to the dark side. It called to you, and you found it all on your own. Jedi padawans are not normally drawn to that place," he explained in an even tone.
"Luke warned me to resist," she said defiantly.
"But you didn't," Kylo pointed out. "That cave was never going to show you what you wanted to see. Only your greatest fears."
Rey shook her head. "N-no…I should've f-felt trapped or panicked, but I didn't." Her eyes grew more frantic. "It didn't go on forever, I knew it was leading somewhere. And at the end it would show me what I came to see."
Kylo shook his head. "It showed you what you feared most to see. That you have no one."
Rey tilted her head down, clenching her eyes shut. "I thought I'd find answers here," she sobbed. "I was wrong! I've never felt so alone." She looked back up at him, the man she'd perceived to be a monster.
But in truth, he was the only one who understood her.
"You're not alone," he said, his heart on his sleeve, nothing in his eyes but love and understanding.
And loneliness.
"Neither are you," she said.
His heart skipped a beat, and he couldn't help but gasp softly at her words. Was it possible she'd forgiven him?
Her eyes flooded with hope. She was yearning for him so deeply it was tangible. "It's not too late," she beckoned.
She wanted him to the light. But maybe she would think differently if she knew the truth. What Luke did to her.
With his mind, he said Luke lied to you. About everything. Let me show you.
She didn't hesitate. Rey unwrapped her hand from the blanket and reached out.
Without looking away from her, Kylo unsheathed his hand from the leather glove and reached out in turn.
Would it even work?
But he already felt the electricity between them. Slowly, a charge was building, like two clouds of dust forming to make a star.
He didn't want to be forceful. He ever so gently, with a feather-light touch, pressed his palm against her own.
It was so warm, so soft.
And then he showed her everything.
