John was beside himself as he walked along the shoreline. It had been many years since he'd seen the sea, and this time around was anything but disappointing. The sun was setting on the warm summer day, and the low light feathered across the ripples in the water. He was quite content with things, and heading back to the hotel for supper was almost as agreeable as this leisurely stroll with his sisters.

Yet they did not seem so happily engaged. He was quite lost in his thoughts, so hadn't been paying attention to what was being discussed. But when he heard Charlotte's voice, his attention turned.

"Is it that obvious, Allison?" she cried (though it must be said that it wasn't an outright cry, more like a whine, which was most unbecoming and not at all like Charlotte).

"No!" replied Allison, aghast. "John, do help me convince our sister that she's being much too sensitive."

"I'm being sensitive?"

Allison stopped. "Please, Charlotte. You asked my opinion, and I gave it. That's all."

But when John looked at Charlotte, he could see that she was quite upset. He took her hand. "What is it?"

She shook her head. "Allison somehow discovered that Mr Parker meant to propose marriage to me."

He looked at Allison. He had not said anything to her. "How have you come to know this?"

"But that's not what's upsetting. She says that it's obvious that I'm in love with him."

"All I said was that it was obvious that the two of you enjoy a healthy banter. That's all. I swear to it," Allison's countenance was twisted with anguish.

John looked at Charlotte. "Are you well, dearest?"

"No," she whispered. "I'm not."

He looked at her intently, then turned to Allison. "Can you go ahead, Allison? Tell Mr Stringer, if he's there, that I'm taking care of Charlotte… and if Mr Sidney Parker is there," he looked at Charlotte. "What would you like her to tell him?"

"Tell him that I'll be by later."

He nodded, and Allison left. "It hurts still, does it? Seeing Sidney did not assuage the pain."

"Not in the slightest. I don't know what he means, being here. He has a wedding to see to! Why did he come, and why am I so happy to see him, when I know nothing will come of it?"

"Because you love him," John said simply. "You cannot even run the risk of not seeing him when you are unwell over the business, and he is the cause of your distress."

"You're right," she whispered.

"Charlotte, what do you want to do? Shall we avoid seeing Mr Parker, or…?"

"No," she returned quickly. Charlotte looked out into the sea. She had no idea what to do. What she thought she should do, she didn't believe she had the bravery for. She wanted to simply be near Sidney…to be in his company.

But she also thought that it was killing her to do it.

And perhaps his heart was not so touched, for he seemed to be seeking her out, if she didn't know better. Therefore it pained him but little to see her. And that was no solace to her mind. "No…" and she looked at John, and smiled at him. "Like it or not, I do love him. And that makes me long to see him, whether it is painful or otherwise. I do wish that I could be stronger, but I'm unable to be."

He took her hand. "Charlotte…you are too severe on yourself. I think you are incredibly strong to be able to speak with him freely."

"You said that he loves me. Do you still believe that?"

"I do, yes."

"Not that it matters," her faced flushed and she dropped his hand and her gaze, "But it feels good to not be alone. That he, too, feels some measure of the horror in my heart."

"If I would not hang, and I did not like him, I'd kill him for you," John said softly.

"You like him, John?"

"Despite myself, I do. Yes."

"Then I know that he is a good man," and Charlotte slipped her arm through his, and they walked back to the hotel.


Sidney was sitting in one of the lobby's comfortable cushioned chairs when he saw Allison enter. He stood, and looked for Charlotte, but she wasn't there. He smiled and nodded to Allison.

Allison, who then joined him. "Mr Parker," she smiled.

"Miss Heywood. How was the shore?" he stood.

"Very fine," she replied. "I must tell you that my sister and John are on their way. They were delayed for a moment."

"Is everything all right?"

"I believe so, yes," she paused. "Have you had the chance to see Mr Stringer?"

He swallowed. "I have not had that pleasure."

…and at that moment the concierge came over, holding a piece of paper. "Miss Heywood?" he said.

"Yes?"

"This is a message from Mr James Stringer," and he handed it to her.

Allison took it and opened it, her brow furrowing as she read.

"I hope it's not bad news," said Sidney.

"Mr Stringer has been called to London. He won't be back until the weekend," she looked up at him. "Oh, this is unfortunate. I was enjoying his company."

Sidney couldn't help but feel partly elated at the news. No Mr Stringer, no proposals of marriage. "Well, perhaps I might take his place as guide for you and your siblings. I might not be as affable, but I'm every bit as knowledgeable as Mr Stringer," he bowed.

"Oh, yes of course. Well…I'll just go to my rooms and answer this. I'll return momentarily," she bowed her head and left.

Sidney watched her go. She was very unlike Charlotte, he thought. She was not as handsome, and her smile did not reach her eyes. There was something wanting in her understanding, too. But she was pleasant, and would surely delight some gentleman. He sat down and looked out into the street.

He was terribly torn over his behavior. He longed to be with Charlotte, but knew that he was behaving in a selfish manner. It could not be. He could not touch her hand. Hold her arm to guide her. He could not kiss her mouth.

But her society was just as agreeable as any kiss, and so he must relish that, and tame his heart.

He saw her and John walking toward the hotel and felt his palms pearl sweat. He rubbed them on his thighs and cleared his throat.

John entered first and saw Sidney. He walked over, Charlotte behind him. "Hello, Mr Parker," he smiled.

Sidney stood. "Mr Heywood, Miss Heywood," and he gestured for them to sit, and he along with them. "Your sister was just here, but she went to write to Mr Stringer, who has recently been called to London on work, and won't be back until the weekend."

"The weekend?" said Charlotte, sitting down and taking off her bonnet. "That is unfortunate."

"Yes, well…I have offered my services as tour guide," he smiled.

"What a lucky conclusion," she returned.

He laughed. "Should I take by your tone that you suggesting I am ill suited for such an enterprise?"

"Not at all. I cannot imagine Mr Sidney Parker to be ill suited for much of anything," she returned with a smile.

"Now I know you are making fun," and he nodded to the server.

They were taken into the dining area and sat at a corner table. Allison came not long after, and they all put in orders and began to sip the wine.

Charlotte was seated in between Sidney and her brother. It was uncomfortable, but not terribly so. The three of them were speaking animatedly, and she had not much to offer. She wasn't even positive of the topic.

After a fashion, and two glasses of wine, she sat back.

"Miss Heywood," Sidney said softly.

"Yes?" she turned to look at him.

"You're very quiet."

Allison and John continued to speak about…something. She wasn't sure. "Am I?"

"Yes. Are you all right?" his voice was heavy with concern.

"Not really," she looked at him…

And his eyes were penetrating, and his lips slightly parted.

"Can I help?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

He nodded, and looked away. "Perhaps I might walk you upstairs. Some rest might be the thing…and we are to visit with Georgiana tomorrow. Her society is so animated that ample rest is well advised," and then he looked at her and smiled.

Charlotte was staring at him. "I can manage, Mr Parker. But thank you."

He nodded. "Of course."

"However, I should go. I am rather tired," she stood. "You might walk me to the stairs, if you like," she nodded to Sidney. "So that we can discuss tomorrow's plans."

"It would be a pleasure," and he stood. "I'll return momentarily," he said to John and Allison.

They left the hall and went to the lobby where the staircase was, directly in the middle of the room. "What time would be suitable?" Charlotte asked.

"Perhaps eleven? Before luncheon?" his hands were folded behind his back.

She nodded. "And do you like my brother and sister, Mr Parker?" she stopped at the foot of the stairs.

"Very much. Especially John. He's delightful. And very like you, if I may say so."

"Thank you," she smiled widely. "Though I'd never admit it outright to my family, he is my favorite sibling. You liking him speaks well of your judgment."

"A small consolation," he said softly, looking at her intently.

She cleared her throat. "Will you meet me here at eleven?"

"Yes. Good night, Miss Heywood."

"Good night, Mr Parker," she turned and went upstairs.


Sidney woke early and readied himself. He felt badly for not calling on Georgiana the previous day, but he would spend time with her today. And she likely did not want to see him, anyway.

He had left John and Allison Heywood about three quarters of an hour after Charlotte retired, and had enjoyed himself. John was especially engaging, and altogether a pleasant man. He was knowledgeable without being superior. He was humorous without being overzealous, and he was kind in a very honest way.

He thought that had circumstances been different, he and John Heywood would have been very good friends.

And he honestly hoped that he'd be there at Mrs Griffith's.

Sidney walked out into the crisp morning air thinking about Charlotte, and how ill at ease she'd seemed. How of course she was ill at ease, and how he had set her to be so. She must love him, for she was not a silly lady; she would not behave unless she was stricken with intense feeling.

And this conclusion was dichotomous to him, for he was equal parts elated and horrified. That he should find love twice in his lifetime, and neither one was meant to be was a tragedy.

He loved her so, and his desire to be near her was the selfish part of him insisting that he be. For he knew he would ultimately have to let her go, and that knowledge sickened him. To pretend for these twelve remaining days was like playacting, and juvenile.

But there it was. He was allowing himself this time in order to face the decades long sentence he had set for himself. It would be a penance of sorts, for the shameless flirtation and hurt he was inflicting on the object of his desire, Charlotte Heywood.

He walked on, and then headed back to Trafalgar House. It was now nine, and he had time to spare.

"Sidney!" exclaimed Mary Parker. "How are you this morning?"

He kissed her cheek. "Very well, thank you, Mary," he sat down next to her and spooned out some breakfast.

"You do seem well…much better than I've seen in some time," she smiled. "What's happening to alleviate your mind?"

He looked at her and flashed a quick smile. "Only Sanditon's sea air. London was stifling, and I would go mad being there much longer."

"How long is your stay?"

"Down to twelve days now, Mary," he took a bite.

"And what will you do today?"

"I'm visiting with Georgiana."

Mary nodded. "You know, we should have a party for you, Sidney. It's August…come September people will be much more tethered to London."

"I'm not apt to enjoy parties, Mary."

"No, but a small summer gathering…under the stars. I know that Charlotte and her brother and sister are here. We can have them, and Arthur…Georgiana? Perhaps Lord and Lady Babbington."

"Oh, I don't know," he said. It wasn't an altogether attractive notion. He was not in the habit of enjoying large social gatherings when he wasn't engaged.

"Well, give it some thought. When do the Heywood's return to Willingden?"

"Mm…the first week of September, I think."

"Well. Let's decide by Monday, shall we?"

He nodded. "I should go. I'm taking Miss Heywood to visit with Georgiana," and he stood.

"Good day, Sidney."

And he left. He made a quick pace to the hotel, and was fully thirty minutes early arriving. But it was no matter, for Charlotte was in the lobby already, sipping tea. He went up to her. "Miss Heywood," he nodded.

"Good morning, Mr Parker. Won't you sit?"

He did. "Are you feeling any better?"

"I am, thank you."

"Good. Excellent. Well, are either of your siblings joining us?"

"John is. I haven't heard that Allison is wanting to."

At that, John appeared. "Morning," he smiled to them both. "I am quite excited to make Miss Lambe's acquaintance. I long to hear stories of Antigua."

"Well, perhaps you might draw her out, Mr Heywood. She is loathe to speak of it," Sidney stood. "Ready, Miss Heywood?"

She nodded, stood, and the trio walked out into the blazing August sun.