Chapter 20 - Looking Glass
Tell me what I want to say
Save me for another day
Break me, it's the game you play
Hate me as I turn away
"Looking Glass" by Birthday Massacre
"Oh." Mac pressed a hand to her head which ached relentlessly. She was no longer tied to the bed, her wrist was free to move and as she sat up, her eyes searched the small room for her captor. It was eerily quiet and then she heard the muffled groans, the sound of electricity sparking to life. "No." Carefully, she stood using the walls to keep herself upright until she walked into the larger, outside office.
Before her two bodies hung from the rafters separated several feet apart and bound around the wrist by a rope. She shook her head, fighting the hazy weight of dizziness that made her unable to focus until she heard his voice. "Mac." When she focused on the sound, one of the figures came into view as if a veil had been risen. No. It couldn't be. It shouldn't be. "Harm."
He was alive and at once there eyes met and locked, holding a gaze filled with pain, longing and relief. "You're alive." Harm said and had the decency to smile despite his current predicament. There was a trail of blood that ran from the edge of his forehead down over his left cheek.
His shirt had been torn and there were visible marks across his chest and torso, angry red marks that she knew were from car batteries and steel wool. "No… Not you. You were never supposed to be here." And yet her nightmares told her differently - they were a premonition.
"I'm fine." He ground out. Sadik had gone easy on him, for now. "You're hurt." Harm turned his head slightly, enough so that he could focus on the ugly mark on her cheek. At least, he didn't see any other visible signs of abuse, the sexual kind he'd feared for women in combat. She was hurt thought, he noted when Mac straightened and winced, her hand coming to hold the left side of her body.
His concern warmed her heart especially given the gravity of the situation. But, then, that was a part that she loved, he'd put her safety above his own. "I think my ribs are broken. It's not too bad. Oooof." Mac hadn't seen Sadik creep up beside her but, she felt the smack across her face that made her head nearly explode. It made her fall and hit the ground, winding her enough to immobilize.
"Don't touch her, you piece of shit!" Harm yelled. In anger he shifted his body enough so that it pulled on the rope and made his flailing body swung from his restraints. "Leave her alone!" All he could do was watch when the man took a knife and pointed it at Mac's throat, the sharp edge knicking her delicate skin enough to draw blood.. "No...Please, no. Don't hurt her."
Sadik extended the knife forward using it to point at Harm and the other man which was hanging just a few feet away. "Which one is your lover, Sarah?" He grabbed her by the hair when she failed to answer and pulled her until she looked their way. "Which one?"
When she looked up, she saw Clayton Webb's eyes staring back at her. They were dark and almost lifeless although he was still breathing. She'd seen that look before back in the Chaco when his life hung in the balance and he promised to keep her safe. His suit had been destroyed, torn so that the only fabric that wasn't ripped were his trousers and even they were worse for wear. The rest was a mess and he sported an ugly spot on his cheek where it appeared Webb had been beaten. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm sorry."
Webb's gaze tore away from Mac settling on the terrorist that had tormented him. He took a breath and then yelled. "We had a deal. If I gave her over you'd let me go." He shook his arms as if trying to break the ropes but, they didn't budge or loosen. He was stuck in the worst nightmare he could have conjured up. "We had a goddamned deal!"
"A deal? What deal?" Harm turned his head towards the spy, a questioning look in his eyes although he already knew the answer. "You gave her up? You fucking son of a bitch, how could you?"
"You don't know what it's like to be tortured, Rabb… This is just the icing on the cake."
Mac stared between the two of them, the only two constants - one the man she loved, the other the one which commanded her life. In a way, she couldn't live without the two of them but, there was one that mattered most, the one she needed to save - the man she gave her life for. "I'll go wherever you want without a fight. Just let him go."
"No." Sadik placed a pistol in her hand which curled around the butt with frightening familiarity. Mac knew what came next, she'd dreamt it time and time again. He'd give her a choice and it always...always ended with Harm's death. "I'm going to give you a choice, Sarah...You can save one. Only one. The other I will continue our experiment."
A sick smile spread on his lips as he turned a knob on a cart lined with batteries. It made the lights inside the warehouse dim ominously and once Sadik flipped another switch electricity raced through jumper cables. It lit up the steel wool clipped to the ends making them smoke and crackle. He pressed the ends to Harm's back, leaving the wool to burn through his shirt until he heard Harm scream. "He's strong, obstinate. The spy, not so much." He walked between the men, stopping in front of Webb.
"No! No! Please don't!" Webb's terrified screams echoed within the building even before Sadik began the totrure. He chuckled when he raised the wool, pressing it together so that the fibers lit a fiery red. It pleased him to see the man cry, turned into a blubbering nothing despite the years of service to the CIA.
"Coward. I don't like cowards." And then Sadik set his sights on Harm again, the man he wanted to break. He pressed the wool against Harm's skin again, annoyed that the man would not scream. "Your lover is strong like you, Sarah."
Mac raised her arm, angling the pistol so that the sights rested between Sadik's eyes. She pulled the trigger once, twice, three and four times to hear the familiar 'click' of an empty magazine. Did she really believe he would make it that easy?
"No Sarah, you really don't want to kill me." His voice became soft, seductive. The jumper cables in his hands hitting the ground wk tuba resonating thud. "I'm going to set you free."
Sadik took the pistol from her hand, pulling the slide to shove one bullet through the ejector. He placed the pistol back in her hand and extended her arm pointing it at Harm and then at Webb. "Pick one, Sarah. The one that lives, I will set free but, not beofe I torture him within an inch of his life…You'll get to watch him scream."
Mac's hand shook as she pointed the pistol between one and the other not trusting that Sadik would let either man live. She aimed at one, closed her eyes and then pulled the trigger.
Harm's body crashed to the ground. The rope he'd hung from was severed by the bullet. At once the warehouse came alive, a CIA contingency along with one AJ Chegwidden rushed inside.
In the melee Sadik tried to escape, pressing a button to a trigger hidden inside the pocket of his slacks. It set off a series of explosions which rattled the entire building, killing some of the officers. Next, he grabbed Mac intending to take her with him.
She fought him, scrambling to release the grip he had on her throat only he was stronger. "You're coming with me." Sadik pulled her through the building, closing in on his escape but, he would never make it out alive.
Harm followed, biting back the lancing pain through his body as he hurled into Sadik. He knocked the man down with a resonating thud, the two rolling on the ground seeking supremacy. He yelled as Sadik's fist connected with a patch of sensitive skin.
The man climbed on top swinging at Harm with animalistic blows until an unbeatable pain sliced through his back sucking the breath out of him. He turned to find Mac looming over, her knife that she stuck and twisted as she pulled dripped with his blood. "Sarah?"
She pulled him off of Harm and dropped down to plunge the blade just below his rib cage. "I'm setting myself free." Mac twisted the knife again and slowly pulled it out letting the serrated edges rip and sever.
Sadik Fahd was dead.
Five Days Later
Clayton Webb awoke to the beeping sounds of the machines which monitored his vitals. He shifted a bit, cringing when his broken arm protested. When he tried to go back to sleep something alerted him to the visitor in his room. "Sarah."
"How you doing?" Mac motioned to his arm.
"I've had better days. Harm?"
"He got discharged today, should be sent home in an hour." Harm had been in the hospital for three days, kept in observation should his injuries worsen. They hadn't because Sadik took more interest in Webb with his methods. Mac remained by his side, sleeping a cot that the hospital staff had offered leaving only for an extensive debrief at Langley.
"You?" He noted how she held an arm to her side defensively, a clear indication that Mac too had been hurt.
"Ribs. Not much I can do but let them heal...I went to debrief. There's something I feel you should know."
"Webb's being demoted." Director Laughery had told her much to Mac's chagrin. She expected a little more from them given the lengths the man had gone to escape a terrorists wrath.
"Demoted? He should be killed."
"I don't deny that, Colonel but, I can't just put a man to death because of one mistake."
"Ma'am with all due respect, it wasn't just one mistake." He'd destroyed parts of her, used her and Mac suspected that, at times, he regretted some of it, just not enough to let her go.
"He's done some good in the past, his family is prominent. This is the easiest way to appease everyone...I promise he shall never run an op again."
Mac shifted in front of the director wondering if The Brotherhood would set her free. She'd done her duty, put her body and soul on the line more than she ever intended. It was time for a reprieve. "I want out. No more of this. I can't work for you anymore."
Laughery had anticipated the request; it was evident in her smile and the knowing gaze she settled on the younger woman. No, it wasn't going to be so easy. "You were good at watching my daughter. What if I give you an option?"
"What option?"
"I know you and Captain Rabb have a history. As long as he is stationed in London, you can remain on my daughter's detail...No outside assignments, no handlers, you call all the shots."
"And then?"
Laughery shrugged and that ever impassive smile of hers remained firmly in place. "We'll figure that out too." At Mac's hesitation, she let out an insufferable sigh. "Colonel, we are't the military. None of those chains of command bullshit they believe work. I have the power to send you anywhere and at least you can continue to keep your pension."
"What's the catch?" There had to be a reason for this how, even in her most out of control they hadn't just cut her loose.
"I may ask a favor from time to time, Mac. You'll have the right to refuse."
Mac squared her eyes and military decorum fell away as she leaned over Laughery's desk. The woman was right, this wasn't the military. "I have power too, you know. More than you can imagine. If anything ever happens to Captain Rabb because of my involvement with you I can bring the whole house down. I will bury you."
"Please, idle threats don't scare me and I promise it will never come to that. You'll call the shots."
"Why me? Why not just let me go?"
Laughery's smile faded, she bore her eyes right into Mac's so much so that it made the other woman flinch from the scrutiny. "Because, in time. You will be my successor."
"So, it's over? Sadik is he…"
"Dead, yes. For real this time." Mac sighed, glad that at least one weight was lifted from her shoulders. She'd seen the terrorist die and repeatedly pressed her fingers into his pulse point, searching again and again. It was Harm that pulled her off of Sadik and cradled her in his arms until Chegwidden found them huddled together, he'd passed out in his arms. "I'm out of field duty, Clay. It's over. We're over." She waved a hand between them; he wouldn't be her handler any longer.
"Sure you are. Laughery was here, she told me about her little plan. What did you say to her?"
She shook her head. "She knew. Your demotion was your fault." Laughery likely didn't know all of the bitter details, the lengths Webb went to keep her under control. Mac didn't want to divulge specifics, she was afraid to and find the other woman may use the programming for her own gain.
"She has you now, huh? You made a deal with the Devil."
"For now." Until she found enough dirt on Laughery in order to get out. "At least you can't touch me anymore. Can't hurt me. Bye Clay." She meant to walk out, head held high, winning the fight while trying to end the battle. He was right in a way, she'd made a deal with the Devil and Mac would play her cards for the moment.
And then Clay left her with his parting gift. It wasn't an apology, a sign of remorse but the last vestige of the torch he carried for her, and the control. "You'll come back to me, Sarah."
"The hell I will." She spun angrily towards him and in a few long strides hovered over his bed. "You'll never hurt us again."
Us. Of course, she did this for Rabb, how could he forget. Webb chuckled and it was time to let her in on a little secret. "He's your trigger, Sarah... the Boy Scout is...What turns it on and off."
'There will never be an us.'
"Harm has the power to kill you and what's best, you asked for it. Wanted it that way." The programming had taken root due to her resentment, her pain and hurt Harm inflicted with his inaction towards her. Each painful phrase he'd uttered throughout the years of confusion cemented the programming; it was the foundation. "Rabb will hurt you again, set off that ticking time bomb and when he does, you'll come to me to keep you safe… You know you will."
"Get over yourself, Webb. You can't scare me. Your fucking lies won't work. The control is gone."
Only it wasn't, Webb knew. It was designed to linger for all time. "There will never be an us." A sinister grin spread across his face when he saw Mac flinch and stiffen. Those amber eyes flashed and darkened to an almost black hue. "See. It will always be inside of you...Go play house with Rabb all you want. You'll get bored. You need the rush, the adrenaline...You'll need me."
Mac stepped towards him, her darkened eyes locking on his as her fist wrapped around and pulled the hospital gown he wore. She produced a small knife from her jean pocket, hit a switch to unlock the blade which she pressed to his throat. "This blade is very sharp, if you so much as flinch I can sever your carotid with little effort. And honestly? I'd love to watch you bleed."
He swallowed hard, tried to control his breathing but Clay's rising blood pressure caused the connected machines to start beeping endlessly. Mac pulled the blood pressure monitor off, silencing the noise until the only thing she could hear was his shaky breath. "If you come after us. If you hurt Harm, I'll make good on my promise to kill you, Clay. Wherever you go, wherever you hide, I will find you. It's over."
She presses the blade into his skin, smiling when a rivulet of blood leaked from the cut. "Bye Clay."
Mac found Harm in the lobby, arguing with the nurse that was trying to keep him seated in the wheelchair until it was rolled out of the sliding glass doors. She smiled, her feisty flyboy had been hurt, yes but, he would heal. She would help him heal and soon they would be home to that lovely flat in London, piecing their life back together. "Ready to go home?"
"London?" He asked her, an expectantly look in his eyes.
"Home's wherever you are." She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
