The next morning, my mouth is so dry that I can't even swallow. I smack my lips together and try to get enough saliva to ease the soreness of my throat. I prop myself on my elbow and look around the room, not remembering where I am or how I got here. I glance to my right, but the bed is empty. I sit up and rub my eyes with balled fists.

"Alex?" my voice is hoarse. I clear my throat and try again. "Al?"

Nothing.

I step out of bed and remember that we're at Nicky's house. We went to a gay bar, fucked in the bathroom, danced, and then drove back here. What am I missing? I slip into my pajama pants that are strewn across the foot of the bed when it hits me: I went down on Alex in the car. I blush at the thought of it. I've only been that drunk one other time in my life, and that was during the pub crawl in Boston for my 21st birthday, but even then, I didn't forget any part of the night.

I open the squeaky bedroom door. "Alex?" I walk down the hallway to the living room to find her reading the newspaper on the sofa.

She looks up. "Hey."

"Hi. What time is it?"

She takes a sip of coffee. "Almost nine."

I scratch my head and feel my hair sticking up. "How bad do I look?"

"Pretty fucking bad," she chuckles as she gives me a once-over, but something in her eyes makes me think she's upset with me.

I sit next to her on the edge of the sofa. "Is Nicky here?"

She glances at her phone. "I just got a text from her, saying she spent the night at Ronnie's."

"Ronnie?" I try to place that name. "Oh, the woman she met at the bar."

Alex hands me her coffee.

I take a sip. "I don't remember much about last night."

Her eyebrows rise. "Really?"

"I remember what we did in the bathroom at the bar, and then I wanted to have sex with you in the car."

She bites the inside of her cheek and nods as if I'm missing something.

"I went down on you in the parking lot of a strip mall." I rub my lower back as the memory returns. "That's why my back hurts."

She takes the coffee cup back. "Is that all you remember?"

"There was something else, but…" I shake my head. "I can't…"

"The cops?" she baits me.

Suddenly, it dawns on me. "The cops…that was real?"

"Yeah," Alex laughs incredulously. "You seriously don't remember?"

I rest my elbows on my knees and rub my temples, trying to ward off what's sure to be a terrible headache. "The man had a mustache and made you do sobriety tests." It's coming back to me now. "And there was another officer—a woman—who had a breathalyzer." I reach for her. "Alex, did you get a DUI?"

"Almost."

My hand flies to my mouth. "Oh my God."

She sits there, nodding slowly.

"I did something bad…" I recall. "I told the cop that I had three margaritas. You kept telling me to not say anything, but I didn't listen…Did I get you in trouble?"

"If you would've kept your thoughts to yourself, they probably wouldn't have suspected I was intoxicated."

I lift my brows. "Were you?"

"I blew a .06."

"That's very close to being legally drunk," I reply. "You…I…Alex, I'm so sorry." I place a hand on her leg.

"You can't do that, babe." She pushes the newspaper aside and strings a chunk of unruly hair behind my ear. "I've never seen you drunk before, but now I know what you're like in that state."

"I shouldn't have said a word."

"No, you shouldn't have." She holds my hand. "And you probably shouldn't have had three margaritas."

"And a tequila shot," I remind her.

"Right," she replies. "I know you mean well and all, but if I ever ask you to stop talking, it's for a good reason."

"I wasn't in the right frame of mind to listen to reason," I admit. "I was wasted, Alex. I don't think I've ever been that drunk."

"Now you know your limit," she says. "I don't mind if you drink; hell, I don't mind if you get drunk, but if it involves transportation or being in public, maybe just stick to a couple drinks and lots of water."

I nod.

"I'm partly to blame," Alex confesses. "Nicky bought the tequila shot, but I bought you those drinks."

"How could you have known how shitfaced I'd get?" I shrug. "We were having fun."

"Dangerous fun," she says.

"Sex in the bathroom, and then in the car?" I ask, feeling a blush spread across my cheeks.

She raises one eyebrow. "Yeah."

"I've never had sex in public," I confess. "And I did it twice in the same night."

She laughs lightly.

"From what I remember, both times were hot," I try.

"They were, until the police showed up."

I put a hand on her cheek. "I'm really sorry, Al. I shouldn't have put you in that position."

She turns her head, kissing my inner wrist. "I'm sure it won't happen again."

"It won't." I kiss her.

Alex makes breakfast for me, and as we sit down to eat pancakes and sausage, Nicky breezes in.

"What a night, huh?"

"It didn't end up great for us," Alex says, pouring two glasses of orange juice.

"What happened?"

Alex and I tag team in telling the story, and there's no way we can leave the part about car sex out, so I let her tackle that part.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute…" Nicky laughs. "You went down on her in the parking lot next to Mandarin Garden? I'll never be able to unsee that image when I order Chinese takeout."

I'm terribly embarrassed. "Did I mention how drunk I was?"

Nicky flips a pancake onto a plate. "This is comedy gold."

"It wasn't funny when the police showed up."

Nicky makes light of the situation, making me feel a little better, but I understand that my mouth almost got us in big trouble. She tells us about her night with Ronnie and that they have a date scheduled tonight. That reminds me that I have to drive back to Northampton in a couple hours.

"When should we head out?" Alex asks.

"I have a study group at five," I respond, handwashing the dishes. "I skipped the last one, and we're working on a group project, so I can't miss this one."

"Let's get cleaned up, and then we can get on the road."

I take a quick shower, letting the hot water slap my skin, and then my mind drifts to the conversation with my parents yesterday. Other than a few moments of happiness, this hasn't been the best trip. I dry off, slipping into a clean pair of jeans, and that's when I remember that Alex and I aren't going to the same place—she has to return to Manchester. Yet another reason to sulk.

We say our goodbyes to Nicky, and then walk to our cars.

"I hate leaving you," I say with downcast eyes.

She pulls me close, kissing my hairline. "I'll come to Northampton next weekend."

"That's six days from now."

"At least it's not seven," she offers.

I crane my neck up to kiss her. "Thank you for everything. For talking to my parents, for taking me out, for forgiving my stupid mouth."

She lets out a small laugh as her thumb rubs my cheek.

"I love you, Alex."

"Love you, too." She kisses me again. "Drive safe and text when you get home."

I nod, and then release her. As I drive in the opposite direction, tears sting my eyes. I know this is just a shitty time in my life and things will get better, but the last thing I want is to be separated from her.


My priority over the next two months has to be school, so from Sunday night through Friday afternoon, that's where my focus is. Alex and I talk every day, but our conversations don't last more than 30 minutes. We take turns visiting each other, and when she comes to me, we get a hotel room rather than staying in my tiny dorm room. Besides, it's not fair for me to ask Polly to leave our shared room for the weekend.

Alex has given me a budget of $3,000 to plan our spring break trip. Back in December when the idea of a trip came up, I wanted to go to the Bahamas or the Virgin Islands, but that's not in the cards for this brief vacation. Alex wants to be surprised about where we're headed, so I don't tell her many details other than the deal I got on the plane tickets and that she'll need to bring a swimsuit.

My parents have not spoken to me, which isn't a surprise. I talk to Cal every other week, and he tells me they barely mention my name. It saddens me to think this is what our relationship has come to. If I take my mom at her word, perhaps she'll be more accepting of Alex in a year. Cal, for his part, always asks about her. He admits she's "way hotter than me," but he's glad I've found someone who makes me happy.

The first bit of good news arrives in my Inbox the last week of March. I quickly scan the letter, and then call Alex.

"Hey," she answers on the second ring. "Did you forget to tell me something?"

We spoke on the phone a couple hours ago, so I understand why she'd think that.

"I just got an e-mail from U Conn…"

"And?"

"I got in!" I squeal. "I mean, it's not my top choice, but still."

"That's great news, babe," she replies with exuberance. "I knew you'd get in."

"Thank you. I should hear from the other three colleges by the end of the week."

"I'm sure more good news is on the way," she says.

"I have to get to class, but I just wanted to tell you." I strap my bag across my body and head out the door.

I can hear her smiling "I'm glad you called."

"Thanks, talk later."

The following day, I hear from two more colleges, including San Diego State, and I've been admitted to both. I relay the news to Alex who is equally excited. The dream of leaving New England is real, and I couldn't be happier.

The issue that looms over us is where Alex will work when I go to grad school. Her job in Manchester will end next week, and she's already agreed to take a placement at a hospital near Saratoga Springs after our trip. The drive from there is about the same distance as Manchester, which has proven to be doable. She's asked her company to be on the lookout for opportunities in the San Diego area, but they can't anticipate her next placement any more than she can.

I drive to Manchester one last time the weekend before Alex says goodbye to New Hampshire. She greets me as she always does with a hug and a kiss, and we scurry inside when the skies open up and thunder crashes.

"Still no news from UCSD?" she asks as she pours a glass of wine.

"Not as of this morning," I reply. "But I haven't checked my e-mail since I woke up." I open my Inbox on my phone and see that there is, in fact, an e-mail from their Admissions office. "Wait, I got something."

Alex stands behind me as I open the e-mail.

"Congratulations, you've been admitted to the…" I turn to her with a hand over my mouth. "I got in!"

"You did!"

I stand, throwing my arms around her. "I can't believe it!"

She kisses my cheek. "I can."

"You've always been so positive," I comment, reaching for my phone to read the rest of it. "This is amazing, Al."

She smiles. "It is."

We order pizza and spend the night, listing the pros and cons of each graduate program where I've been admitted. U Conn is out, and I never really loved the idea of going to U Mass, Amherst, which means it's down to SDSU and UCSD. We go online to look at my financial aid package at both, and SDSU is slightly less expensive, but the housing costs are more. We discuss living on campus versus living in an apartment, and I realize it's the first time we've talked about moving in together.

"You realize what we're talking about here," I say.

She pops the last bit of pizza crust into her mouth. "What?"

"Moving in together," I respond with a hint of nervousness.

She finishes swallowing before replying, "Yeah."

"We've never really discussed it."

Alex sips her wine. "I thought it was a foregone conclusion."

"And you're ok with that?"

"With us living together?" She wipes her mouth. "Yeah. Are you?"

"Of course I am." I lean over to kiss her. "But this is a big step for us."

"It doesn't feel like it," she says. "I mean, it feels natural—like this is what's supposed to happen next."

I smile tenderly. "It does."

We continue looking at housing options over the next hour, and it appears that living on campus at UCSD would be about $500 less than even a few shitty apartments in San Diego, plus the dorms are less than a mile from the beach. My next task will be to find out if I can live with a non-student.

Alex stretches. "I'm exhausted. It's been a big week."

I yawn. "Same."

We slip into our routine of getting ready for bed, and I love the way we move around each other. Every part of our relationship is in sync, and I'm grateful that this is how our relationship turned out to be.


Author's Note: Short filler chapter, but I'll post another chapter tomorrow. Hope you're hanging in there with me! Thanks as always for the reviews!