A/N: I'm back. The last chapter was rather upsetting, but don't worry. It gets better. This is a short one. Only nine-hundred words or so.
I'll be honest, the media has me very depressed. I'm a keyworker too so have to risk getting the virus. It just... sucks. So if you are self-isolating, you are pretty lucky. I can't escape it and the next few weeks are going to be stressful with work, so I will try and keep writing this as much as I can.
Jean said something along these lines in Chapter 126 (I won't look it up because I want to go from memory). "I just want to sit alone in a room somewhere and forget..."
Yeah, me too Jean Boy. Me too...
Sure, our world isn't under threat from millions of titans, but still... life is uncertain now.
Enjoy.
...
Levi
I gallop forward now, never looking back. To hell with being her knight… I'm a soldier, and I need to be prepared for the war that's sure to come.
There's nothing left for me back at the farm. I'm not designed for domestic life. Leave that to the boring people of this world.
I only have one destination on my mind now.
The Survey Corps…
They need my skill after all. Who else is going to keep Jaeger in check and make sure he doesn't go off the rails? There's no one better suited for the job, and I will gladly kick the shit out of that kid again if he so much as steps a toe out of line.
It's the only place I'm meant to be. Not some orphanage filled with insufferable brats.
Now I can have actual adult conversations once again, and go back to a life where no one calls me Wevi… Back to a world where everyone's shit-scared of my miserable face.
I'm no shining hero… And I'm not some fucking Brave Knight.
Suddenly, her luminous, blue eyes flash up before me, and then a sharp pain impales my chest. It's like someone's stabbed me in the heart.
What was she thinking kissing me? The idiot. I'm twice her age!
The kid's definitely got a screw loose. What did she think would happen? That I would melt into putty right there in the kitchen and open my heart to her?
Fuck that. I'm a killer… not a lover.
Yet the memory of her sweet lips is enough to make me want to run back to the farmhouse and sweep her up in my arms like they do in all the fairy tales.
I can still feel her soft breath on my face, and it's doing all kinds of messed up shit to my brain. I can't even think straight anymore.
I use to be cold and calculating but now look at me, falling for a blonde, doe-eyed girl of seventeen.
She really is just a girl. And it pains me every time I have to look into those innocent, beautiful eyes.
I'm already in too deep. No going back. I was a fool to think I could just forget about her and move on.
It's not as if we wouldn't see each other again. What would we do at the next state meeting? Completely ignore each other? Not that we were ever particularly close before anyway, but it would be enough for anyone else to notice that something's off. No doubt Four Eyes will.
And let's not forget the ever observational Armin Arlert too.
My heart thumps louder than the hooves of my horse, and I shut my eyes.
No… I can't go back. Not after how I treated her. I shoved her away like her mother did when she was just a child, and the pain was all too evident on her guileless face.
I really am a fucking demon.
That terrified, heartbroken expression will haunt me for the rest of my days.
I never meant a single thing of what I said, but I had to tell her all that shitty stuff so she wouldn't be so sad when I left.
She was right. Even though he was the Devil of the Land, Erwin would be turning in his grave.
All I ever do is let people down. Farlan and Isabel, my first squad, Erwin…
Mom…
I pinch my eyes shut, swallowing a hard lump. The only thing now is to keep moving forward and fulfill Erwin's last order.
Kill the Beast Titan.
That's the most happiness I can ever hope for in this life. And I will gladly take it.
Anything to fill the void…
Just... what did she ever see in me?
The angel that fell for the demon…
Something runs across the road next, and I yank hard on Silver's reins. She rises up on her hind legs, and her shrill whinny punctures the silent, misty air.
I focus on the four-legged creature before me now, and I can't believe my eyes.
It's Hange's pet.
How...? There's no way a cat could outrun a horse.
"E-Erwin?"
The feline stalks closer, keeping those intelligent blue eyes on me, and there's no mistaking it now.
Its damn eyebrows have grown.
"Levi…"
I blink, widening my eyes. "I… must have fallen off my horse a few miles back and hit my head or something… because cats don't fucking talk…"
The cat tapers its eyes, and its gaze is solemn and serious. "Go back."
My heart skips a beat. There's no doubt in my mind now that this cat is talking… Yet it talks telepathically while its lips remain shut.
It has to be the mist. The moment I stepped out of the farmhouse, I just knew something was off.
I'm hallucinating. Nothing more.
But I still don't take my eyes off that cat. It blinks up at me knowingly, and it really does regard me like an old friend.
It even has his voice…
I gasp for breath as mist escapes my lungs. "You… you really can't be…"
"Levi. Go back. The queen is in danger."
My blood runs cold as the cat's words echo through my consciousness.
Historia…
Shit.
The sensation seizes me instantly, and it's like I've been struck by a bolt of white-hot lightning. It fires up my brain and nervous system, and sounds and smells become so much stronger.
I can see clearly at last. And there's no doubt in my mind what I have to do.
With a sharp tug of Silver's reins, I turn back in the direction of the farmhouse. Only the sound of my pounding heart keeps me company now as I keep my eyes peeled ahead.
I will not be too late again.
AN: Not much else to say, though I would like you to look up the song Young Girl (Get Out of My Mind) by Gary Pucket and The Union Gap, and just listen to the lyrics and think of this ship. The song came out in 1968. An oldie but it really suits Levi and Historia. It always gets stuck in my head whenever he's thinking she's too young for him.
I am thinking of uploading the next chapter because this one was painfully short and it's a cliffhanger (I'm not Hajime, I won't leave you hanging). Do you all want me to post Sunday? Let me know. Just give me some good news, and tell me what emotions you are having about this story and the development between the characters so far. Even "It's Great" will do me.
CartoonPrincessSigningOff.
