What is it that keeps you up at night?

Simply can't sleep?

Too much energy?

Memories?

Phobias?

Fears?

It may be fear that keeps humans alive, it teaches them. Sometimes they learn from it, or they are foolish enough to accept it.

Fear is something that can define someone. They base their personality off something they are scared of.

Scared of being rejected? Increased chance of being brash or mean because they don't want to get attached.

Scared of being replaced? A person would take extra steps to assure their place in someone's life, no matter what.

Scared of the constant self-depreciation of which oneself presses, always comparing themselves to other people? They won't get far, always focusing on other people's successes rather than their own. They never try to better themselves because they don't see a reason for it, there's someone who can do it better.

"I know that British law says that you're allowed to drink, drive, and smoke a when you're 18 but do you really have to?" Darjeeling sat beside her ragged-looking boyfriend on the steps leading into a complex of flats.

"I smoke because it helps me calm down," taking a long drag from his cigarette, Jason closed his eyes and leaned back.

"Talk to me Jason, what aren't you telling me?" The blonde placed a warm hand onto his left hand.

"Heh, that's a question open to interpretation, right?"

"I'm being serious, I feel like you're keeping something from me," although her tone was calm, Jason could sense some impatience behind Darjeeling's voice.

"What do you expect me to say? Do you expect me to tell you about my whole life, maybe then you'd interpret the cause of my fucked head," Jason tucked his legs closer to his body, his leather boots creaking as they bent.

"Please, Jason, communicate with me. I don't want tonight to end on a bad note," Darjeeling angled her body towards the redhead, keeping her skirt straight on her knees. She lifted a hand to Jason's collar and fixed it, then brushed some dust off his shoulder.

"Tonight started on a bad note when your new friends took me for an idiot. Not everyone is clever, I understand that only the best get into this uni but I didnt half expect these bastards to be so uptight," Jason extended his right arm away from him and tapped the cigarette, watching the burnt paper and tobacco drift down onto the concrete floor.

"That's an unfair description, Mari wasn't that bad," Darjeeling frowned, trying to find some good part of the night.

"Mari was the worst. Her attitude changed when you went to the bathroom. God, she's a bitch," sighing heavily, Jason leaned his head back and stared into the black sky.

"I fear that if you keep an attitude like this then they won't listen to you when you're instructing them about the tanks,"

"Ah, right. Because that's the issue, hm?" Side-glancing the girl beside him, Jason placed the white stick back between his lips.

"Of course it's not the main issue, but if you approach teaching with a prejudicial opinion, neither you nor they will go far," Darjeeling looked at the boy, watching him turn his head away from her and exhaling the smoke. She appreciated that he cared about the smoke blowing near her, but she'd prefer it if he didn't smoke at all.

"Aye, you're not wrong," Jason looked at Darjeeling with a half-raised eyebrow. They looked at each other for a moment, then Jason sighed. "I guess I have got some explaining to do, huh."

"I won't push you to talk to me, but I want you to tell me when you're comfortable," edging closer to him, she had both of her hands on him. One on his hand, and the other on the small of his back.

"I don't know how to explain it, but here we go," Jason, with the cigarette between his forefinger and middle finger, rubbed his forehead. "The milsim match, remember it?" Darjeeling gave him an acknowledging nod. "Right, fuck me. Your opinion might change, of me, and the boys."

"It'll be ok, no matter what I'll still love you," Darjeeling smiled warmly at him, but her words only caused his anxiety to escalate.

"I've killed two people. With my hands, I have ended two lives. Those Kuromorimine boys carried guns on them, and so did we. So did Dmitri and his crew, as well as David and his crew. We all had guns. We killed each other," Jason's hand that was holding the cigarette was strangely still, it wasn't shaking like Darjeeling had expected when talking about this.

"I don't know the other side of the story, and I can't just assume, but did you know that you would get into a gunfight?"

"Yes, no. Maybe. I wanted to assure our own safety by bringing guns," Jason reached the end of his cigarette and dropped it by his boot, moving his heel over it and crushing out the embers.

"If I may, but where did you get the guns from?"

"Home."

"I see..."

"Charles lost his life because I was careless. We ruined an opportunity that could have influenced later tournaments by fuckin' killing each other. Boys have tainted the name of Sensha-dō. I heard that some officials are taking back their compliments on our work because of the bloodshed we brought to their match."

"How did you know you'd need the guns?"

"Erik threatened your life when I was in hospital. Last year when Ginny toppled and I was sent to the hospital, he visited me and threatened me to participate in the match. I forged a doctors note so I could take part in that match. I'm sorry, but I didn't want to see you get hurt," Jason stretched his legs out down the steps and leaned back on his hands. Hearing a sniffle beside him, Jason turned his head towards Darjeeling. She wiped her eyes, she was crying.

"I broke rules and killed two boys so I could assure your safety. I knew the threats would stop coming if I killed him, but he ran away. I'm still scared, Darj. I don't want to lose you. I will do anything to make sure you're safe, as long as you let me," softly, Jason placed a hand on her knee.

"Jason, I... I need a minute... I'm sorry," Darjeeling stood up and entered the flats, leaving Jason alone on the steps. The redhead leaned forward and brought his knees up, resting his elbows on them. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before looking into the sky again. Whatever was up there, in the heavens, dealt him a shit hand and it was hardly getting better.

"Fly me to the moon, and let me sing among those stars, let me see what spring is like, on Jupiter and Mars..." Sighing a heavy sigh, Jason hung his head and hummed the rest of one of Sinatra's most famous songs. It was a song he loved, and couldn't get out of his head for the most part. The night was lukewarm, fresh yet without the wind Jason would be without his jacket. The couple had returned from a party that most of the new students had orchestrated to try and get acquainted with each other.

Jason had only agreed to come along because he had nothing better to do and he couldn't miss the gorgeous spectacle that was Darjeeling in a summer dress with her hair in a plait rather than the french braid. It turned out worse than he expected because he didn't fit in at all. Everyone there had received A's and above, yet he stood in that room with two C's and a B. He was proud of those grades, but he couldn't stop comparing himself to the others.

The discomfort grew and he began small arguments with Darjeeling's friends. According to her, they lived on the same floor as her in the student accommodations and they often crossed paths. They were new friends, about a week long but Jason couldn't bring himself to like them. Before it got heated, he had to leave. He didn't know how he was going to cope with being their instructor, even if any of them even took Sensha-dō as an extra-curricular. Whether anyone did or not, he wanted to test out the more modern tanks that became available to the university matches.

Jason recognised the pattern in the school years and the tanks used: secondary used tanks that were inter-war and early Second World War, College's and Sixth Forms used mid to late war tanks and universities used post-war tanks. The brackets for 'post-war' was between 1945 and 1975. This allowed the usage of the numerous Centurion models, Conqueror Mk.2 and the Chieftain models. There were others between the brackets, but not as heavy of a presence as the Centurion and Chieftain.

Having needing to study the weak points of the enemy, Jason spent most of his time between his visit to his family and the start of the semester assessing the armoured vehicles that could be fielded by other nations' universities. He was more concerned about the Russian IS lines and MBT lines. The tanks that followed the design of the T-44 didn't seem like fun opponents. The Leopards that could be fielded by the German universities were something Jason wasn't worried about, he was certain about the power the Chieftains held. He didn't much look forward to the confrontations between his Centurions and the American Pattons, but it would happen eventually.

A pair of arms encircled Jason and softly landed on his shoulders. Darjeeling knelt behind him and leaned into him.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I said something out of line..." he curled his arms in and carefully held onto her wrists.

"Don't apologise, I should be thanking you instead," Darjeeling placed her chin on his right shoulder, then kissed his cheek.

"I just didn't want to entertain the thought of you getting hurt, and if you did, what repercussions would there have been?" Jason tilted his head towards hers.

"I would have been fine, because you were there to protect me. I didn't even know. I suppose you're my guardian angel," a light chuckle escaped her lips and that same, pure smile came back. Jason smiled back at her, and leaned in. They exchanged a kiss, warm and heartfelt, and the world seemed to melt away in that physical exchange. They were happy, if for just now.

"Remind me to carry mints with me when I smoke," Jason pulled away, seeing a light pink flush on Darjeeling's cheeks.

"I will," Darjeeling giggled, tasting the tobacco from his breath.

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A/N: Short. It sweet, I feel. My mind exploded with ideas at like, 1am (my time, BST, so convert it to yours if you want idk) and I splurged 2k words on the page that somehow formed a chapter. Hope you like this one, it's just a little bit of downtime before I begin the Uni arc. University tank battles lets goooooooooo. I'm so excited to write battles between chieftains and T-54's, it's gonna be so fun.