Chapter Nineteen

Conditioned

Finn couldn't believe what he'd just heard. The trader's market on Savareen had been buzzing with the newest rumor and it was about Rey. Palpatine. They were saying she was a Palpatine…? He wanted to deny it, but in his heart, he felt the truth of those words. How was it possible that he didn't know? Did she not trust him? Sure, that was a heavy bit of news, but damn…

He gathered the supplies stuffing them into the threadbare pack and turned toward the landing fields. It had been two weeks since the mess on Utapau and none of them were handling it particularly well, especially Rey. She'd been extremely withdrawn and far too quiet. And now with this bit of news, Finn was moving beyond simply being worried about her.

Ben's capture had blown through the resistance camps like a firestorm. The kindest responses had been 'well that's too bad' and 'at least he'll get what he deserves'. While the nastier ones accused him of returning to the service of the Final Order and destroying the last good memories of his parents. That one had been difficult to listen to. He wasn't exactly a fan of the man, but his feelings had softened significantly since Ben had saved his life.

Being a former stormtrooper that had turned against the might of the First Order wouldn't have made him any friends had he been captured. And Finn was not under any illusions as to whether or not he would have been kept around or killed off in some very public and excruciatingly painful way; if for no other reason than to make an example of him. Ben…an internal shiver ran through him at the thought of what they were likely doing to him. Not only he turned against the Final Order, he'd orchestrated the destruction of the Sith loyalists and the vast majority of the Final Order's star destroyers. Ben had committed the ultimate sin; he'd turned back to the Light.

He didn't rush back to the ship. Finn wasn't sure what to say to her when they came face to face. Should he ask her about it? Should he pretend like he doesn't know?

XXXX

Ren's hands trembled even as he gripped his thighs, repeatedly swallowing the nausea that swirled in his gut. He was bent over, multiple lines of drugs running through his system from a floating IV droid. It stayed right at his shoulder no matter how swiftly or often he moved. He wanted to yank the needle from his arm, but he'd been forbidden to touch it.

Whatever she had done to him, it didn't allow for any type of disobedience and that made him angry. For reasons he didn't understand, being controlled sat wrong with him. Like he'd spent his entire life trying to throw off that specific yoke and had only recently succeeded. He slammed his balled-up fists against his temples hoping that it might jar some of his missing memories loose, it didn't and that fueled more rage.

He leaned against the slate grey metal walls of his chamber, hoping that the coolness would penetrate his heated skin. He had so many holes in his memory that he wasn't sure where the Empress ended, and he began. Ren was missing everything from before he'd awoken in that medical bay. He had no recollection of where he'd been born, who his parents were or how he'd come to be in the service of the Empress. But here he was. They treated him like something between an honored guest and a criminal to be tortured whenever the mood struck.

Slowly, he forced his battered body up and onto unsteady feet. He paced around the vast interior of his assigned quarters, touching items that meant nothing to him. Hoping that they would trigger something, anything; some kind of response. What he understood to be normal emotions were completely absent within him, only rage, loyalty, fear and betrayal collided inside his mind.

He didn't know if it was because of the effects of the drugs constantly coursing through him or something else, but he didn't like the disconnected feeling between his mind and his physical body. Kylo listed to the side as he walked guarding an injury he couldn't remember getting. It was beyond him. Anger swelled inside him. He was manifesting weakness, something he knew he shouldn't do. And yet why he knew that, he couldn't remember. He'd been told that he had been captured by the resistance and that they'd tortured him ruthlessly; interrogated him for months before the Final Order managed to rescue him. He remembered none of it.

But something about that felt wrong and he couldn't seem to put it into context. And then there was the girl. She would come to him in his dreams and he had no idea who she was. But he wanted to. They never spoke, only stared at one another for the space of a few heartbeats and then she was gone. He a connection to her that he couldn't understand. And if he didn't figure it out soon, he was going to pay for it in blood. It was already taking great effort for him to hide his obsession with her from the Empress.

The dark entity would come to him once a day. Ren remembered very little from those sessions. But he always had a killer headache by the time she left, and his body would have gained several new injuries. He felt unclean somehow and that bothered him on a level that made being in the same room as the Empress difficult. But he couldn't not be in the same room. He was being torn apart inside and he had no idea how to reconcile his conflicting emotions.

Ren knew that something was being done to him, exactly what or why still eluded him. The black troopers came intermittently throughout the day, attacking him when he least expected it. Which meant he was getting very little sleep and even less time to heal from the unwarranted attacks. While his much of his past was a shrouded mystery, he remembered other things. Training tactics and mind control. At one point they'd even sent a predator droid, that had nearly killed him before he managed to disable it.

He knew enough of torture techniques to know that to destroy who he had been in the past, he had to be broken down to his most basic parts. She could then build him back up into the weapon she wanted him to be. Only Kylo Ren had nothing to forget, nothing to destroy. His mind had been wiped clean. But who? The resistance maybe? Or the girl that he couldn't seem to forget. Why her? What was it about this slip of girl that was so unforgettable?

The wisps of remaining emotions in his memories were extremely painful. Rejection. Betrayal. Loneliness. Grief. Loss. Disappointment. Pain. So much pain. And always there was the face of the girl with a wide bright smile and open expression, haunting him at every turn. He couldn't erase her soft earnest features, lovely hazel-green eyes or the feeling that she was important to him on a very personal level.

But with each session he spent in the company of the Empress, he could feel his connection with the unknown woman fading. He was being reconditioned, he was certain of it, and yet he had no clue how to stop it. Escape was impossible. He didn't even know where he was. And they didn't leave him alone for long.

Shaking his head, he wandered to the fresher and splashed cold water on his face before staring at his reflection, studying a face that he didn't recognize. Coal black hair fell in soft gentle waves to just above his broad shoulders. Dark eyebrows framed a pair of eyes that were a strange mixture of light browns with splashes of gold at the edges. His nose was too big, even he could see that; and his lips were far too plump and wide. He lifted his tunic and stared at flat muscled stomach. Whoever he'd been, he was a warrior. He was well-muscled and yet extremely agile with lightning fast reflexes. But it was the angry red scar that ran from above his right eye, along his cheek and then down his neck onto his clavicle that made him frown. He'd been told that the resistance had given it to him but couldn't recall the circumstances. He did, however, remember a deep red-hazed rage that had filled him to bursting at that moment in time. The scar was still dark red, rimmed with pale white, like it had been re-opened recently; making it stand out in stark contrast against his pale skin.

That scar was a physical reminder of everything he couldn't seem to remember. And underneath those blank spaces was a roiling rage that was seeking an outlet. Raw, unfettered power that was barely controlled. He wondered if he really wanted to control it all. Wouldn't it be better if he shut down all other emotions and simply allowed the rage to guide his actions? Nothing to complicate the decision-making process…?

Who am I? He didn't voice it aloud. He never knew who was listening. No one had come to him other than the ranking black trooper or his attack minions, the medical droids, or the Empress. Which meant that he must have no one else. He was completely alone. A pang of longing so strong it momentarily stole his breath sliced through him, he doubled over until it passed before slowly pulling himself back to his feet.

With a sigh, he sank onto the bed, winching as he laid his large frame down and stretched out as best he could. Everything ached, slow waves of dizziness and pain washed over him again and again. All he wanted to do was sleep and forget everything he didn't know.

XXXX

Rey stood on a narrow precipice, her hand raised in a plaintive gesture and her lips set in a grim line of acceptance. She watched Ben with something akin to longing with heart-breaking sorrow. Her other hand rested against her abdomen in a protective gesture that made her feel slightly better. He was watching her with wary distrustful eyes. Anger swirling just beneath surface. His own hands twitching toward his lightsaber as his body tensed for action.

The ache inside her heart was almost more than she could handle.

He was injured, but he was by no means weak. Ben hunched forward; his body folding slightly as he protected injuries she couldn't see. The scar, which had been nearly white and difficult to make out the last time they'd been together was now a deep angry red. She wanted to ask him what had happened, but she couldn't communicate with him. Just as he wasn't able to speak to her. The fact that they were even seeing one another had everything to do with the dyad connection and nothing to do with conscious choice from either of them. Their bond had been unpredictable since her surprising return from death.

But there was no doubt that Ben did not recognize her. There was nothing in his expressive eyes to suggest that he had any idea who she was to him. Rey's heart clenched with that painful realization. What had that bitch-Sith done to him?

Seething anger boiled inside her and she had to remind herself to control it when the baby echoed her rage with hints of and untamed fury. She blinked and then closed her eyes allowing the Light to wash over her and through her, grinding off the sharp edges of her rage. The anger abated slightly, but she could still feel the child's fury as a primal emotion. Carefully she wove the Light of the Force around the tiny soul and cradled it with love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Slowly the anger drained away and the child's mind slipped into sleep.

The emotions emanating from the child had been so strong that she was shocked when Ben showed no signs that he'd felt it.

She hadn't realized that he had slowly been closing the distance between them until he was standing an arm's length from her. His saber gripped loosely in his right hand and his eyes tortured as he stared down at her. But still she saw no recognition in his dark eyes, simply curiosity and pain. With a sigh she held out her empty hand.

He looked as though he wanted to take it, but something was holding him back. And then his face screwed up in a jagged expression and he screamed before dropping to his knees. His weapon slipping from numb fingers as he clasped his hands over his ears, desperate to silence something she couldn't hear.

She watched with rising horror as blood started trickling from his ears and nose; and then he screamed until his voice gave out.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she watched him suffer. What new kind of torture was this? Why was she here to witness it if she couldn't do anything to help him? It was the worst thing she'd ever seen, and it was happening to the man she loved. A feeling of impotent rage rushed through her.

Rey jerked awake panting in sharp short breaths. Sweat pouring down her face. She noticed her hands were shaking when she shoved her damp hair from her eyes. Her throat was raw with emotion as she recalled with perfect clarity the dream…or vision. She was catching glimpses of his captivity and she was losing him. Every time their minds bridged, she felt less and less of the man she loved and more of the man Ben had struggled to excise from his soul. Kylo Ren was returning and destroying Ben Solo as he did. The Hive-Sith was turning him back into someone Rey feared and hated, a weapon to be deployed against her.

XXXX

Kylo knelt before the Empress, his head bowed and his right elbow resting on his upturned knee. He'd lost track of how long he'd been in this position. He couldn't feel his legs anymore and his back muscles were straining against the forced inactivity. The Empress continued to watch him silently. Her head tilting every so often as though she were debating on something. She slowly came to her feet and descended the dais to stand directly in front of him.

"Rise."

And he did, though he kept his eyes pointed at the floor. She stepped forward, running her fingers along his scar and down until her hand rested just above his wide black belt. Raising an eyebrow when he didn't so much as flinch, she blew out a deep breath.

"I have a mission for you. Do you believe you are ready?" She allowed her hand to trail over his body as she circled him, appraising his strength and loyalty.

"I am, Master." His voice was low and throaty with the pain he constantly held back.

She halted in front of him again, turning so he had no choice but to raise his gaze. "The resistance has a Jedi."

"Master…I believe they are all dead." The knowledge came from somewhere deep inside him and he couldn't find fault with it. But he did wonder where it had come from.

"They are not all dead." She hissed angrily. As punishment for his mistake, she crushed him under an invisible weight he couldn't fight. His body bowed under the crushing weight and he slammed back into the unforgiving floor when they finally gave out. But she didn't stop with that, she continued to crush him until he heard his shoulder pop from the socket. Blinding fiery pain engulphed his left side.

He was smart enough not to utter a sound. He bit through his lower lip to keep the agonized cry from finding his voice. She smiled and was somehow worse than when she glowered. "She is not dead, and she carries the bloodline of the most powerful Sith Lord to ever live. She cannot be allowed to live."

She moved with a slow purpose as she unfolded her plan to him. Unaware that he had made the connection between the 'she' the Empress was referring to and the 'she' from his dreams. He didn't think he could hurt her let alone kill her. Kylo didn't expect the pressure against his temples as she invaded his mind and tore his secret from him in an act of heinous barbarity. And then she gathered all his anger, fear, loneliness, hate and attached her face to the primal emotions.

By the time he came back to himself, he felt nothing but fury at the Scavenger. She was the reason he was in this position. She was the reason he'd lost the Final Order. She was the reason he was being hurt by his Master. She was the reason…for everything. And he wanted nothing more than to strip the skin from her bones and see her left on a distant planet to be devoured by the creatures that roam the night.

"Now you are ready." She said as she back away.

He rose to his feet and bowed deeply before turning toward the door. "Kylo Ren." She called and he turned.

A lightsaber landed in his open palm. "Kill her."

"Yes Master."

TBC…

Author's Note: Rey and Ben will get their happy ending…promise. Thank you to those of you that continue to read and leave a review, I really do appreciate your time.