I hope this chapter finds you and your families safe and well. Aloha...
Chapter Twenty-One
Amber woke up once again to an empty space next to her after spending the night with Steve. She rolled over and looked out the bedroom door, seeing his wide open down the hall. She wondered then if they were going to ignore the night before the same as they had the last time they'd slept together.
She sat up, hearing his voice downstairs speaking to someone.
She came out of the bedroom after getting dressed and down the steps, stopping halfway, seeing him standing by the couch with his phone pressed against his ear.
"I know, Danny, I get it," he said. "I will. I will!" he said more adamantly with a hint of irritation.
She smiled as he twirled his hand as if silently telling Danny to move the conversation along, whatever they were talking about Steve was obviously done discussing it.
"She's ok," he said. "I think she might have had some bad dreams last night but…" he paused mid sentence being interrupted on the other end. "Yes, I am."
She took another step down as the stairs creaked and he turned, a smile emerging on his lips.
She waved with her fingers and pointed toward the kitchen, giving him privacy for his call, but as she went by him he surprised her.
"Hold on a sec, Danny," he said, removing the phone from his ear and reaching out for her hand as she went by.
`"Hey," he whispered, "Good morning."
She looked up at him seeing something different in his eyes as he looked at her; it was calming yet exciting all at the same time.
"Good morning," she replied shyly, squeezing his hand and feeling her face flush over his attention.
"I'll be off the phone in a minute."
He let go of her hand and she stepped back as he returned to the conversation, feeling a shift in their relationship.
She walked to the kitchen with her hand over her heart and displayed a radiant smile. It was the best morning ever, forgetting all about her dilemma.
She went in the kitchen and opened the window curtains above the sink, smiling as the Hawaiian sunshine poured in. She hummed a tune as she made coffee and started breakfast.
Steve came in a couple of minutes later as she cracked eggs in a bowl.
"Sorry about that. It was Danny, he just had some thoughts he wanted to talk about." His hands gently caressing her arms as he stood behind her.
Amber turned her head, feeling her body tingling over his affection as she blushed again just slightly. "That's ok. Are you hungry?"
"Starving," he replied.
"What would you like for breakfast today?" Amber asked, biting her bottom lip, hoping he said, her.
Steve shrugged, "Whatever you're hungry for," he replied, hoping she said more of what he gave her last night.
"Umm," she sighed, "how about pancakes?"
"That sounds good, but I'll cook you relax."
"No," she argued, never in her life had she ever remembered wanting to cook breakfast for a man as much as she did him that morning. "I'll make it."
Steve grinned, "Remember on the trail, we couldn't ever agree on who would make breakfast?"
"Until you came up with the brilliant plan of taking down my tent for me every morning. That pretty much solved it for me."
"So if you make breakfast, then should I go up and make your bed?"
Amber giggled, "I have a better idea, why don't you look at that car that I told you about last night. I really want to go look at it before someone else buys it."
"Ok, I can do that. You need a car. Maybe we can go see it after breakfast. I want to spend the afternoon going over your case."
"Oh yea," she sighed heavily; the bad news had been concealed under her happiness. "I guess we should talk about that."
He saw the stress and pain instantly consume her, feeling bad for putting it there. "You know what? I have a better idea. Why don't we buy that car this morning, and then spend the afternoon filling it up with baby supplies? We're going to need them, we might as well get started."
"Are you sure? Maybe we should go over the case, it's important."
"Hey," he said, putting a hand on her face, "it is important, but it's not anything I can't handle tomorrow at work. It'll be over before you know it, Amber. I promise."
A smile slowly appeared on her lips again, hearing the calmness in his voice that moved over to her as well. "Ok then, let's go shopping."
Steve leaned over and kissed her cheek, glad to see the joy return to her face, "You better make it a big breakfast," he teased, "sounds like I'm going to need it."
The game of denial didn't win a hand on this morning. The night before had been spontaneous as it had the first time they'd made love, but on this morning after, there was clearly a spark in each other's eyes that neither tried to hide.
….
Steve dropped the last bag on the floor of the living room as he and Amber stared at the pile from a variety of stores and started to laugh over the size of it.
"A baby is only this big," Steve said amazed, spreading his hands out to imitate the size of a newborn. "How could they use that much stuff?"
Amber looked over at him with an amused grin, "A newborn goes through about eight to ten diapers a day!"
He looked at her astounded, "What?! Seriously? They don't even eat that much."
Amber laughed out loud over that, "Ok, tell that to my nipples after the first week."
He looked at her again, only this time it was with shock and curiosity, "Are you going to breast feed?"
"Of course," she said as if that were a silly question.
"Oh, well," he stammered, "I don't know, I guess that's the best thing."
"And healthiest for the baby. Why? Do you have a problem with that?"
"What? No, not at all. I guess I just never thought about it until just now." His eyes instinctively went to her cleavage in the tank top she had on. "Does it hurt?" he asked naively.
Amber shrugged, "In the beginning it can get uncomfortable and painful but then it settles down after a couple of weeks and its ok again."
"How long do you breast feed for? The whole time?"
She noticed that question was followed by an almost disappointing tone from him. "A couple of months, maybe more, it just depends on the baby and the circumstances. I just get the feeling that you're not on board with it."
"I am," he quickly replied, "I know it's the best thing and I'm glad that you are." The disappointment returned to his face, "I was just looking forward to feeding them too, but I guess its what's best for the baby."
Amber smiled going to one of the bags and shuffling through it. She pulled out a breast pump and showed it to him. "This will ensure that you will get plenty of feeding time, Steve. I promise."
He looked closer at it and smiled, "I was wondering about that when it came across the belt at the store. Did you use one of those before?"
"Not with Adam, but I did with Ava because it was just too hard to keep up with a toddler while trying to breast feed a newborn full time."
He watched as her mood quickly changed, knowing why too. It was the mention of Adam and Ava; sometimes her memory was manageable but not always.
Grieving for her children wasn't something she could control, nor did he find it the least bit disappointing or tiresome. It just made him all the more aware of what kind of woman she was and what kind of mother she would be. It eased his own fears at times of the coming force that was going to reshape his life forever, but with Amber by his side, as the days ticked down, so did his fear of becoming a father.
Amber stared at the pile of bags hating once again that this new baby would never have the opportunity to know Adam who would have been a wonderful, protective older brother, or Ava who would have taken care of it as if it were her own.
She turned away as tears came to her eyes, trying to hide the evidence from Steve but he refused to ignore the feelings that she may have wanted him too.
She felt a gentle hand on her back as she froze, still not used to the type of compassion that he held for people, especially her. It was foreign to her, but at the same time she was more than grateful for it. The comfort she felt from just that touch was amazing but as his arms went around her the emotional turmoil inside of her exploded as she fell into him, needing to release the sadness from within or it would fester like an unattended wound. She was with the one person who would not question or rush the moment. He would simply stand with her until it had run its course.
He hated the sadness that was engulfing her, but there was a selfish side of himself that he admitted that he liked being the one whom she trusted and relied on for the comfort needed to ease the pain.
He had succeed again as she slowly pulled away from him, wiping her eyes as she did.
"I'm sorry, Steve," she quickly apologized. "I don't know what comes over me sometimes."
"Amber," he said firmly but in a gentle tone, still caressing her feelings. "You don't have to apologize to me for that. Ever."
"Thank you," she replied sincerely, smiling through her tears at his thoughtfulness that was as genuine as he was.
He smiled as well, not because the moment had passed, but because he had been there for her when she needed it. Being a physical support had always been something he was capable of delivering, but being an emotional support was something that he was now just learning with Amber, and it wasn't as uncomfortable as he had always thought it would be, it was comforting to him as well.
Catherine had never been one to wear her heart on her sleeve, neither of them did. Showing weakness was never their style. They loved each other that was undeniable, but it was always kept at a comfort level where neither one of them had to say it, they felt it, at least he did, assured she did as well, hoping she did he thought to himself.
For the first time he began to question the inner feelings he and Catherine shared. Did she feel what he did without his having to tell her? He thought of the playful notes she would leave him around the house and in his car, and even sometimes at work, expressing herself that way rather than vocally. He never did that for her.
It was a crushing blow to him feeing that maybe he had failed her in that way. Did she know how much he loved her? Would she have known that losing her would cripple him as it had?
He looked at Amber as she wiped her eyes with a tissue, feeling guilty for giving her what came out so easily and never being able to do that for his wife.
Why? Why her?
…
Christopher Hairfield hung up the phone and clapped his hands together. "I got it!"
His partner John looked across at him with a questioning stare, "Got what?"
"The break I've been looking for," he said, pushing away from his desk.
John knew what it was about, the woman from the murder case he had re-opened a few weeks before. Over the course of the past week it was all that Chris had worked on. The phone calls back and forth to Hawaii were numerous as he filed for a warrant there for her arrest. He was kept at an arms length from the case and gave up asking about it, knowing his help wasn't wanted.
"Congratulations," he replied uncaringly, as Chris walked away toward his Captain's office. He focused back on the reports on his computer.
"Captain?" Chris said, rapping on the doorframe with his knuckles to his boss's office. "You got a minute?"
The older man looked up from his paperwork and motioned for him to come inside, "Sure, what do you got?"
Chris came inside and closed the door. "That Scott murder case I've been working on, Sir, I just heard from the Hawaiian Police Department. They have issued the warrant based on the evidence I gave them, both from the murder itself and from the recent credit card purchases the accused has been using over there."
"Did they arrested the suspect yet?" he asked.
"No Sir, they haven't located her yet."
He sat back in his chair looking at Chris as he held his hands together, tapping his index fingers together as if studying him. "So what's your next move then?"
"Well Sir," he began, hoping to get his request granted. "I'd like to go there and see if I can locate her myself."
"You have no jurisdiction in Hawaii. Even if you did find her, you can't arrest her."
"I understand, Sir, but I could have the authorities arrest her based on the warrant and then have her extradited back here for trial."
He sighed heavily over that plan, knowing what it would consist off and the money as well. "We're a small town Chris, our funds don't extend very far."
"Yes, Sir. I would fly there on my own if you were willing to give me the time away."
"Really?" he asked, shocked over his request.
"Yes, Sir. This is very important to me. You know it is. The victims…" he began and then paused, glancing at the floor. "They were like family."
"I know who they are." He rose from behind his desk and came around to him, "I've read over the report Chris and I signed off on it, but it's thin."
"I have an eyewitness, Sir that is willing to testify that they saw her there, at the boat dock the morning of the shooting. I believe she is hiding something, and could possibly be the one that pulled the triggers that killed her family."
He sighed heavily again, giving the inclination that it was still thin as far as he was concerned, knowing of the witness and their credentials.
Chris saw that look of doubt increase on his Captain's face. "Just hear me out, Sir," he pleaded, but kept his demeanor calm and professional, not wanting him to see just how personally he wanted this. He had sacrificed hours, days and even weeks hunting for clues; unable to grasp the truth that Kevin had done the deed. He had almost given up until Amber disappeared from town overnight, convinced more than ever that she was indeed hiding something and then as he tracked her down, all doubts vanished and she became the guilty one in his mind, regardless of the lack of evidence.
"Her family is dead," he began to explain his evidence, "she waits a couple of months until the house is sold and the all the insurance money has been paid out, and then she leaves town. She heads off on some hike from Mexico to California. While she's there she meets up with some guy. I know she did because I traced her credit card purchases and spoke to a bartender in Chester, California from an establishment that they went to. Male, approximately six two, medium build, dark hair. She paid for the tab at the bar but the bartender over heard them talking that they were staying at a hotel up the street. The guy must have paid for the room because I have no record of her using her card there other than the bar bill. And then another time she used it at an establishment in Oregon. I tried to reach out to the proprietor, a woman named Annabelle Stilt, but she refused to give information over the phone about either one of them. She said if it was so important that they should come see her in person, with a search warrant for her records." He rolled his eyes, recalling that frustrating conversation. "I think she might have problem with authority."
"Go on," his Captain said, becoming intrigued by his investigation.
"Right after that, she books a flight from Bend, Oregon to Portland and then to Hawaii, she's been there ever since. I'm trying to get a copy of the flight manifest to see who she sat next to, but it's difficult. I checked out the apartment she was living in here and she moved out, sold everything and put a few things in storage. So now she's in Hawaii, living a nice sweet life with I'm assuming this guy. The last place she charged something was yesterday at a local department store in Honolulu. Probably bathing suits and tanning lotion," he said sarcastically. "She's there now. It's a small island. I can find her, I know I can."
His Captain rubbed his hands over his face and then let them slide down, studying him as he did.
"How much of this is professional and how much of it is personal?" he asked. "And don't give me a bullshit answer. I want to know."
Chris sat down on the small loveseat behind him, "I know what this sounds like Sir but I knew my partner Kevin, and I knew his kids and I knew his wife. He wasn't happy. He tried to be a good father and a good husband to her, but nothing he did was good enough for her. She demanded too much from him and from the children as well," he lied. "She was a selfish person, very selfish. My wife will even tell you." He added that last part knowing there would be no argument from Teresa his wife, she would say whatever he told her to say.
The Captain ran his hand over his salt and pepper hair, before caving in. "Ok, ok. I'll give you a week. One week," he held up his finger, "at the stations expense, but after that, if you haven't located her, then you'll have to wait until the Hawaiian Police do their job."
"Thank you, Sir," he said relieved, holding his hand out to him. "I'm hoping the Hawaiian Police Department will cooperate with me in locating her."
"If they can get off their surfboards long enough," he joked, shaking his hand. He didn't let go right away, holding it securely, "Seriously though Chris, I want to say what a good job you've done on this case, great investigative work. I can't say that I'm not completely on board with John being left out of the loop, but I understand your appetite for this."
"Thank you, Sir. And thank you for this opportunity for me to see justice done for my friend and his children."
Chris came out of the office and back to his desk sitting down and facing his computer. He maneuvered his mouse to bring up Google and entered 'American Airlines' and pressed search.
He looked across at John, "Hey, I'm going to be gone for about a week."
"Where are you going?"
"Hawaii, to bring back a murderer."
John was surprised by that, "They arrested her and you've already got permission to extradite her back to Indiana?"
He looked at him irritably for raining on his parade, "No, not yet, but I'll find her and I'll get her back here."
John smiled curtly, wondering if the guy knew the law at all.
….
Steve held a chair out for Amber as she sat down, her eyes focused on the beach that was just steps away from the restaurant they were dining at.
"It's so beautiful tonight," she declared, smiling across at him as he sat down.
He too glanced out at the familiar sight. "It's a pretty sunset." He looked back over at her as she admired the view again. He couldn't help but admire her as well. She was shimmering in the midst of the setting sunlight that was coming off the ocean. Her auburn hair was getting longer and looked shiny and healthy, hanging just past her breasts. The dark green sundress she had on showed off her new tan. She looked beautiful, thinking to himself that pregnancy was a very good look on her.
"Do you ever get used to this view?" she asked, looking back over at him, feeling her heart skip as they locked eyes. She knew of the cliché' sensation of lovers feeling as if they were the only two in the world, but at that second, the entire restaurant vanished and it was just the two of them in the entire world.
She couldn't speak, she could even breathe. He had a hold of her so tightly she felt her head begin to swirl because of it.
'Why her?' he thought again.
He had asked himself that question several times over the past twenty-four hours, but as she sat across from him now, it took on a new life, adding another word to his inquiry that formed a new phrase.
'Why not her?'
The words that followed that thought seemed to flow upward from his heart and roll off his tongue. "For the first time in a long time," he revealed to her, "I'm looking forward to the future."
His words were just as powerful as the meaningful way in which he had said them. Her emotional state recently was fragile but the tears that sprang to life in hers eyes this time were not from sadness, but from happiness. "I am too," she replied, putting her hand over her lower belly. "This little surprise sure has been a blessing hasn't it?"
Steve smiled agreeing with her, "Yes, it has. You look really pretty tonight, Amber. Pregnancy agrees with you."
She looked down, feeling her face flush, "Thank you." She looked back out toward the water as it turned dark, "And thank you for taking me out to dinner tonight."
She didn't have to verbally thank him; he could see the gratitude all over her face, which in turn pleased him beyond words.
"What are you hungry for?" he asked, picking up his menu.
"Everything!"
They both laughed as she opened hers as well.
"Order whatever you want and as much as you want."
She smiled across at him, knowing that wasn't just a play on words, it was true if she wanted it. He backed up the claim when the server came to take their order.
"Umm," Amber staggered, staring at two items on the menu that she just couldn't decide between.
Steve made the choice for her. We'll have the Kahlua Pork plate," he said to the waiter, "the Chicken Parmesan and the Top Sirloin, medium rare. And we'll start off with a side of french fries and onion rings." He closed his menu and handed it to the waiter, smiling across at her. He'd simply ordered everything she had mentioned.
"That's a lot of food," she giggled, but didn't take any of it back.
"We're eating for three now."
She grinned and bit her bottom lip, looking up at the waiter who smiled sweetly at her, letting his eyes drift to her belly.
"Save room," he said to her. "You should see the dessert cart." He took her menu and walked off with a wide grin, feeling a big tip in his future from that table.
…
Amber came in through the front door first, followed by Steve carrying a plastic bag with all the leftovers, including a piece of seven layer chocolate cake that hadn't been touched, but ordered because he knew she would appreciate it later.
"That was the best dinner ever!" she declared, going into the kitchen with him. "And it's the gift that will just keep on giving."
"It was pretty good," he chuckled, putting the food in the fridge. He glanced at his watch surprised at the time. "It's almost ten thirty."
"I know, I'm glad we went for that walk on the beach," Amber replied, "I'm not as full now."
"I have to be up early," Steve said, wanting to get to the office early to get to work on the ridiculous warrant that was issued in her name. After the initial shock of it, neither had really spoken of it again. The charges were bogus; they both knew it so why waste time mulling over it. He especially didn't want her to feel any stress whatsoever, keeping any thoughts or ideas to himself, and jotting them down when he did. This was going to be the most important case of his life and he was mentally prepared to go to battle for her.
He locked the front door as she came out of the kitchen, unintentionally meeting him at the steps.
"Thank you again, Steve for taking me out tonight."
"It was my pleasure. The food was good but the company was exquisite." He loved that they had fallen right back in step with their PCT days, never a pause in the conversation.
She felt him put his hand on her lower back as they went up, knowing it was just a simple gesture but to her it meant security.
They reached the top step and she went to go to her room when she felt his hand grasp her fingers. She looked over at him as he took a step toward his room.
He didn't say it but he didn't have to either, she knew he wanted her to follow him. So she did.
He brought her to his room and let go of her hand, going into the bathroom and leaving her to undress or do what it was that she did to get ready for bed.
She slipped out of her dress, assuming he wanted sex again since he had brought her to his room. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. She was a little taken back by his arrogance that he would just take it for granted that she did too.
Was that why he had taken her out to dinner she thought, expecting sex in return, a form of payment perhaps?
She felt a little queasy, thinking that was something that Kevin would have done, not ever expecting Steve to try and pull something so egotistical.
She heard the sink turn off and contemplated going to her room and letting him know that she was not to be played with that way. She had lived that life of being told and not asked and wasn't about to let him set the tone for it all over again.
He came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of cut-offs sweats and smiled at her as she stood holding her dress up in front of her, staring at him as he went to the lanai doors and opened them.
"It's nice out tonight, some fresh air would feel good. Do you mind?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and slipping his watch off and setting it on the nightstand.
He looked over his shoulder at her when she didn't answer, still seeing her standing there holding her dress up in front of her topless body.
"If you want to have sex it would be nice to be asked, rather than just bring me in here and then assume I'll get in your bed," she blasted him.
He didn't say anything but got up again and went to his dresser. He opened the second drawer and lifted up a neatly folded pile of T-shirts, pulling out the one he was looking for and then closed it.
He shook out the shirt as he walked over to her.
"Hands up," he grinned, holding the bottom of the shirt open.
"What?" she asked confused.
"Put this on, it might get a little chilly if you sleep in nothing."
She let go of the dress as he took it and laid it across the end of the bed. She stared at him bewilderedly. He faced her again but his eyes were on hers and not her bare breasts that were only inches from his equally bare chest.
She lifted her hands up and he slid the large shirt over her head that fit like a dress, covering her small frame and tiny bump.
"I didn't want you to come in here to have sex," he said to her, looking at her hand as he took it ever so gently, holding just her fingers with his. "I just got to the top of the stairs and I wasn't ready to part ways yet." He looked up her face as her expression softened, "I'm actually really tired and I have a pretty big day tomorrow. So maybe we could take a rain check on the sex part."
She desperately tried to conceal her embarrassed smile as she rolled her eyes, "I just thought…I don't know."
"Are you disappointed now?" he teased her, sighing heavily. "I guess I could if you really had your heart set on it."
Amber playfully slugged him on the arm. "Stop!" she blushed even more. "Ok, ok, so I miss read the signs, I'm sorry."
He pulled on her hand, guiding her to the bed and then let go, turning off the light before going around to the other side.
He laid down in the darkness as she did the same, rolling over on her side and facing him as he lay on his back with one arm tucked under his head, looking over at her. He was nothing like Kevin and she felt horrible for even putting him in the same thought as that monster. He didn't want anything more than to just be next to her.
"Good night," Steve said to her. "If you get cold just wake me up and I'll close the door."
He was everything she had ever wanted in a man, and there he was lying just inches from her.
She sat up on her elbow and braced her other hand across him, looking down at his wicked grin over her unexpected move.
"I want that rain check," she whispered, and then kissed him, feeling his hand slide into her hair.
