A/N: Hahahaha I don't typically check chapter reviews while I'm writing at all, but everyone's response to the last chapter had me in shambles. Y'all are mad mad at Emily. She even took a damn step forward and you guys still have your arms fully crossed. Love seeing you all protective of Alison though. She doesn't get enough love in stories on this site, so I'm happy you're so supportive of her and her journey.
One of the main reasons last chapter took me so long to get out was because I wrote this chapter first but realized it didn't fit where I had originally intended it to be. So, I rushed out last chapter to be able to give you guys a little bit of a Valentine's gift. A little look into Alison's mindset after filing for divorce. I hope you guys enjoy it :) Based on your reviews, I sure think you will.
Stagnant and unmoving. Those were the feelings that penetrated the core of Alison since filing for divorce the week before. She knew that plans were in motion, that fragments of the world around her were moving toward a finality she wouldn't be able to return from. It was a strange duality between feeling as though everything was changing around her, though nothing had yet changed. Every time her phone buzzed, she expected it to be Emily on the other side. Letting her know that she got the papers. Screaming at her for making this decision relatively out of the blue. Wondering what prompted her to seek the end of their relationship. But it had been a week since meeting with Dom, and there was relative radio silence from Emily.
Alison was finally beginning to adjust to the silence of an empty home. It wasn't that she enjoyed being alone, but compared to the loud and ever-present sound of prison, she could embrace the quiet that was being gifted to her. If gifted was the right way to put it. Her day was broken up by spending time with Olivia. The few hours they had daily together were what drove her to continue building herself into a better and stronger woman. She could no longer live for Emily. She had to live for Olivia, and maybe once she grew confident in that, she could finally start living for herself.
It's not that Alison wasn't a confident woman. She knew her flaws as intimately as her assets. She wore her successes and failures on her sleeve. But after being in an over 8-year long relationship, a part of yourself becomes intrinsically tied to the other. Your ability to move forward is connected to the willingness to trust each other to take that next step. Having to take those steps alone for the first time in years was nerve-wracking. It sent chills down her spine and made her question her ability to be truly alone more often than not.
And because of that fear, she felt herself growing frozen. Not knowing what her next step should be. Unsure of how to live her life outside of taking care of her daughter. She didn't need to earn money. She had no immediate family in town to cling on to. Her friends were intertwined with Emily's, and she dreaded bringing them into the already present dramatics of a divorce just so she could have some company. No, Alison needed to move past her fear alone. On her own terms. In her own time.
A part of doing things on her own included making her way around the city. When she and Emily purchased their home years earlier, they made the conscious choice to not be directly in Rosewood. Their neighborhood was a little over 10 minutes removed from the town center, which gave them access to more land and more freedom as a family. But with her license suspended at least until June, Alison knew that those 10 minutes felt like a lifetime to reach some form of an external connection. It also made getting to her in-laws' house more of a trek than intended. Fortunately, just outside of their neighborhood, Alison had access to the bus, which took her right by the Fields' neighborhood as well as the city center. It had become her lifeline. Of course, she and Pam had worked out a system to get Ali home late at night after spending time with Olivia, but part of Alison loved the independence. It was a luxury she had never been trusted with before her late 20s.
Gathering her belongings to make the 15-minute bus ride to Emily's, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.
Sorry for the late notice, but Maya just showed up over here. I'm going to postpone my errands until this weekend. Raincheck on you taking care of Liv today?
Alison sighed out of frustration. Maya had fucked over just about every other aspect of her life since returning home, so adding one more reason to the list seemed apropos. She took a deep breath to remain composed in her reply.
Of course. I can switch around my day. Thanks for letting me know, Em.
Switch around my day? It was after noon, and Alison had no other plans on her agenda. But if she took off her purse, changed back into pajamas, and got back into bed, Alison knew that the sadness would set it before 3. She knew that her ability to move forward for the day would be non-existent. She knew the day would become a wash. So she impulsively decided to head into downtown. She needed to get out. She had to do something for herself for once.
Breathing in the exhaust fumes from the open window on the bus, Alison took in the sites. She related to the trees. Barren from winter and attempting to stick out their feelers to determine when it would be safe again to bloom. Her personified. Though not entirely dead inside, the part of herself she showed to the world felt decayed and empty. Each day a struggle to determine if she was safe to try again. Constant worry about whether life was waiting around the corner to welcome her with open arms, or if a sucker punch was her awaited fate.
She looked into her hands as the bus passed the corner of Main and Hwy 14, still unable to face the scene of her crime. Every day she attempted to work herself up to lift her head. She owed it to herself to see that everything was okay again. That passing through the intersection did not need to bring her back to July 15th every single time. But that day was not today. She sent a silent prayer into the pregnant air for Liam and Chance. It was all she could do to cope.
Despite the frigid air of January in Pennsylvania, Alison immediately felt a shift as she walked into The Brew. The atmosphere was lighter, less dense, and felt comfortable compared to the harsh breeze waiting for her just outside of the coffee shop's front door. She unbundled herself from her scarf and tilted down her hood to brush the hair away from her face.
"Good afternoon! Coffee here or to-go?"
"Here, I think." She paused over the decision, which escaped her lips before her brain could counter.
"Feel free to grab a menu and take a seat. One of us will be out to help you soon!"
"Thank you…" her voice trailed as she looked around the petite coffeehouse. It was still as quaint as she had remembered from before her sentencing. But it no longer held tension from long talks with her lawyer that once were encased in the walls.
After ordering a Cappuccino and chicken sandwich, Alison settled into her corner booth. Laying her jacket and scarf on the seat next to her, Alison pulled out the latest book she was reading to let her brain escape for even 5 minutes. She loved allowing her head to pause and become engulfed in someone else's world. The feeling of going through the peaks and valleys of a character's journey together. Feeling their heartbreak, their triumphs, their breakthroughs, and yet being able to step away anytime the feelings got too real. Too close for comfort. As she began to lose herself today, though, allowing the bell to the entrance of the shop to fade behind her, she was interrupted.
"It is Alison, right?" she heard as delicate footsteps approached.
Looking up from her novel, she couldn't immediately place the person in front of her. But she recognized her eyes. Rounded yet still perfectly fit on her pale skin. And though her eyes were brown, Alison immediately could see the differences between her eyes and Emily's. The flecks of green surrounding her pupils drew her in before she had time to tell her heart otherwise. It temporarily stopped beating as the woman in front of her repeated her phrase.
"You are Alison DiLaurentis, right? I'm not mixing people up again, am I? I'm so sorry. I truly am terrible with names. You have to forgive me." She laughed, placing her hand over her heart as her brunette curls fell behind her narrow shoulders.
"You don't have to be sorry. My name is Alison, yes." She smiled, trying to get her thoughts to catch up to her speech, "And please forgive me, this week has been nuts, to say the least. I cannot place where I know you from."
"Oh, right! How silly of me. I'm Cassie." She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb, "Um – Cassandra Reid. I'm Spencer's assistant? We, we met last week briefly."
"Cassie. Oh my gosh, yes. I remember now. I knew that I recognized you from somewhere." Alison extended her hand again to stamp Cassie's features into her mind's eye permanently.
She giggled as Alison let go, sending a pit into Alison's stomach, "I'm grateful that you remembered me. I stood by the counter for a while second-guessing if I should come over and say hi."
"No, of course. Any friend of Spencer's is a friend of mine. Would you care to sit? Or are you headed back?"
"I'm on my lunch break while Spencer is on a lunch date with Wren. I figured that I would come here so I could get her a coffee before heading back. You know how much she enjoys her –"
And as Cassie continued on, Alison jumped in, repeating Spencer's order from memory, "Large, triple shot, half-sweet, caramel macchiato."
"I can't believe I've finally found someone else who knows her order by heart!" Alison exclaimed.
"It took me a week. But once she started asking for it daily, I figured that I might as well commit it to memory."
"Good call…" she felt the pause in conversation but didn't want Cassie to have a reason to leave. She had connected with someone for the first time since being released. It felt promising. "So, what brings you to Rosewood?"
Cassie nodded as she took a sip from her to-go cup, "Needed a change of pace. I'm from New York originally and moved down to Philly with my ex a few years back. When that fell into pieces last year, I knew that I needed to get away from the hustle and bustle of the big city. And Veronica, Spencer's mom? Well, her assistant Megan is one of my friends from Columbia. She told me about the opening with Spencer's practice and put in a good word."
"And you're enjoying it? I know that it can be a little – "
"Monotonous?"
"Exactly. We're a lazy town. Nothing too interesting goes on around here."
"I'd beg to differ. You seem pretty interesting…" she tilted her head toward the table, allowing her eyes to look back up at Alison endearingly.
The coffee she was swallowing suddenly stopped in the back of Alison's throat, sending her into a coughing fit as their eyes met. Attempting to push her uneasiness down, she interrupted her cough with another statement, "Tell me about Columbia."
"Right, right. I graduated 3 years ago. Turned 25 on New Year's Eve, in fact."
"Oh, happy belated birthday. Congrats to you!"
"Aw, thanks. I have a feeling this is going to be a good year. I mean, this may sound kind of crazy, but I can feel it in the air, you know? It feels comfortable for the first time since I moved here in the fall."
"I know exactly what you mean. What did you study in school?"
"Linguistics, specifically Aramaic. It's a sister language to Hebrew. I used that to accompany a concentration in English."
"That's fascinating. I studied English as well at BU, but I'm really intrigued about what led you to that major." Alison found herself resting her head in her palm, looking intently at Cassandra as she spoke.
"I was interested in the history and movement of language. It has shaped so much of how we interact with the world. It's has shaped so many aspects of cultural interaction today, and discovering that nuance, when paired with everyday language, continues to influence how I appreciate everything around me even now."
"I love that."
"Like, for example, take our conversation right now. Thinking about the influence and confluence of our pasts that impact the way we can speak fluidly with each other is so deeply rooted in history that goes back generations. The mechanics of our sentence structure and our emphasis, drawl, expansion on thoughts, everything is based on how we were raised and constructed in the world around us. Language is truly formed by every aspect of society and the world we live in. it's one of the first building blocks of being in time."
"This is going to so weird, so just follow me for a moment. But it's been so long since I've heard someone speak so passionately about a topic they find interesting. it's quite beautiful to watch."
"Please feel free to interrupt me. I can kind of get lost in it all."
"I think that's what's so comforting about it, though. For as much as you are a part of it, I'm sure it's nice to be so familiar with it all that part of you is removed from it. It's instinctual for you."
"Definitely…" she smiled weakly again in Alison's direction, "I'm sorry about earlier." She spun her finger in the air as if recalling a memory, "Causing you to nearly cough up your coffee."
"No, that's okay. I was caught off-guard. That's all."
Cassandra blushed, "Do you mean to tell me that not one person in Rosewood has flirted with you recently?"
"Flir – flirted?" Alison stopped in her tracks again.
"Well, yeah. Why else would it have taken me so long to work up the courage to come over here?"
"I don't know. Why would it have?" she asked, genuinely not comprehending that someone other than Emily had ever intentionally laid eyes on her.
Cassie paused, looking Alison over, studying the confusion and fear behind Alison's eyes before continuing, "You really don't know… I hate to be the one to break it to you, Alison, but your looks are kind of intimidating."
"Intimidating?"
"Yes." She paused to laugh again, filling up the restaurant with endearment, "You have some of the most gorgeous features of any woman I've ever met."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I know that after stopping by Spencer's office last week, you went up to Dom's floor – " she spoke through Alison's attempted interruption, "The elevator floor number above the door."
"We're early in the process." She realized that she hadn't spoken to anyone about her divorce. It was comforting, but Cassie was a stranger. Alison stopped. "You know? I'm so sorry. This seems like a lot. I think –"
Standing up quickly, she instinctually pulled her jacked toward her, adjusting her top, "I – I'm flattered, Cassie. I really am. I just think that maybe –"
"No, I get it. I would've kicked myself if I hadn't tried, though. I hope you know that."
Alison nodded politely as she started walking away, replaying their entire conversation back in her head. That's when something clicked. The way Alison had felt about the coffee shop walking in earlier today is exactly how Cassandra had described it sitting next to her only minutes before. "She could feel it in the air, too…" Alison whispered.
Before she could talk herself out of it, Alison paid for her meal and walked back to the table with her receipt. Cassie followed her walk, an endearing smile growing on her face. Alison put her coat on over the clothes and started talking, "You said something earlier about the air. How you think it's going to be a good year because the air now feels –"
"Comfortable, yeah."
Alison's eyes fell to her hands as she sat back down next to Cassie, "Well, I thought the same thing when I walked in here today. The air felt different. I felt safe for the first time since I – "
"Since you got back to Rosewood… I understand." Cassie reached across the table toward Alison's face, "Sorry, you knocked some of your hair into your lipstick when you threw your coat back on. Let me." She briefly brushed her hand next to Alison's lips to pull the small strand of hair stuck in her crimson red tint. "There you are."
"Thanks. Um, yeah, since getting back to Rosewood."
"I'm sure it's been an adjustment, Alison."
"It has." She was being cared for, and her brain was skipping, "Sorry. Can you let me finish this? I went over it a few times before turning around, so I wouldn't fuck it up."
"Yes, of course."
"Where was I?"
"Walking in here, you felt safe for the first time." Cassie leaned into the conversation, placing her hand on the table.
"Right. I felt safe, and at first, I thought it was just because it was a familiar place. But then, talking to you. Learning about you. Seeing you… it just makes me wonder if maybe the air changed because the universe knew you were headed my way."
"Maybe."
"So, I guess. I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to get my number, and we can set up another time to get coffee soon. If that sounds good to you." Alison darted her eyes away from Cassie as she began writing fervently on the back of her receipt, hoping that she would reciprocate Alison's invitation.
"I'd love that," she reassured, reaching her hand forward to link one finger just on the underside of Alison's palm. Alison flipped her palm upright as Cassie lightly tightened her grip on Alison's palm with her thumb, gently tracing down her hand before letting go at Alison's fingertips. Alison tore off the top of the receipt and passed her number to Cassie, "I'll call you, okay?"
Standing up reassured, Alison adjusted her coat, taking a deep breath as she looked Cassie over one last time, "Okay."
A/N: Truly was shocked a few chapters back when I introduced both Cassie and Dom in the same chapter that no one mentioned anything about either of them! If you've been around my stories for a while, nothing I write is accidental. I was secretly hoping that you guys might sway which of them I would put in as Alison's potential love interest, but figured that another woman would be the most likely to hit Emily where it hurts.
I loved writing this chapter. It gave me big Chapter 1 vibes, which honestly is one of my favorite things I've ever written. So I hope this hit you all the same way.
Tell me everything! How do you like the introduction of Cassie? How's her personality? Her candor? Her relationship with our protagonist? And Alison, how are feeling about her maybe making an attempt to take a step forward? Is it a good thing? A bad thing? How will Emily react?
Next chapter, we're back with Emily in the hallway bathroom of her home realizing that she's engaged to one of the most manipulative characters I've ever written! Can't wait to see you all there :)
Here's hoping that you are spending today's commercialized holiday with those you love, and if not, I hope you can live vicariously through the budding relationship just getting started above!
Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.
Love you all,
secretpen28
