Memento Mori

Summary: Of the many people capable of carrying the fate of the universe on their shoulders by travelling back in time, Loki would have been the first choice of exactly nobody. With no allies, no plan and nobody on his side, Loki will just have to wing it.

Or: That awkward moment when you've completed your redemption arc, but nobody else got the memo.


Chapter 19

While Thor and Loki had been gone, the Guardians had expanded their team.

The Titan's daughter – the one that was more machine than she was a person – had been on their side once before, but Loki had not witnessed her change of heart in the other reality. Nebula was quiet and withdrawn, and she scowled at Loki to the same extent that he did at everybody else.

Coming to the Milano had been a spontaneous decision. While they were reunited with allies, they used the opportunity to regroup and assess their situation.

"We've retrieved five of the six infinity stones," Loki said. The Guardians were scattered around, silent for once. Attentive. "Three of them are on Earth, with allies of ours. The other two are with us."

Eyes twitched towards Stormbreaker – Gungnir was still safely stored away – leaning against a wall at Valkyrie's side. The gem resting within its blade gleamed.

"If Strange and Foster decided to stay with my friends, the stones are as safe as they can be," Banner said.

"So there's one left." Quill tore his gaze away from the axe. "We tried looking for it, but so far there's nothing. You gotta have some clue where it is, right?"

Loki clenched his jaw. "I knew it wouldn't be easy. I had an idea where each of the stones was. But not this one."

The soul stone was the most mysterious of the stones. All of the others made it easy to guess what they were capable of; the power to manipulate time, to bend reality, to control minds.

What did it mean to have the power of souls? A soul was a life. A soul was a consciousness. What did wielding the powers of the soul stone entail?

"Are you saying we need to start from scratch?" Rocket huffed. "Well, that sucks."

"We could return to Midgard and ask if Strange knows something about it," Thor suggested. "He knows more about the stones than most."

"He does seem to know more than anybody else on Earth," Banner agreed. "He might be able to check in with that order of his, as well."

Loki pressed his lips together. "Perhaps." He wasn't keen on returning with their prior conflict so fresh in mind. Strange might not have been overly vocal about his distrust as the others had been, but he hadn't spoken in his favor, either.

"You must know something about it," Quill insisted. "Everybody tried to get their hands on the power stone when we stole it. Somebody must be after this one, too."

"Exactly." Rocket crossed his arms in front of his chest. "The most valuable stuff is always the easiest to track down. When's the last time someone tried to steal it?"

"I don't know of anyone who has so much as seen it." Loki frowned. "You'd have difficulties finding anyone willing to confirm its existence, much less its location."

"In other words, we've got nothing," Quill said.

"Oh, is that all? No worry, we'll just scour every part of the known and unknown universe," Rocket said with false cheer in his voice. "It'll only take us, what? A couple millennia?"

"The universe has no end," Drax said. "Our search will be infinite."

"Thanks, Drax. Thank you so much for that clarification. We would have never gauged the sheer crappiness of this utterly meaningless plan without you."

Drax gave a sincere nod. "You are welcome."

"Do we truly need to retrieve all of them?" Thor asked. "We have five of them in our possession. Shouldn't we focus our efforts on finding ways to properly use them?"

Loki shook his head. "It isn't about possessing them all. It is about making sure that Thanos will not have even one of them."

The soul stone was mysterious and unpredictable. Combined with the others, it gave Thanos the power to wipe out all of the universe, if he wanted to. On its own, Loki had no idea what it could do in the hands of a tyrant. He wasn't keen on finding out.

Gamora had not offered a single word of input since they'd begun their discussion of the stones, and if it wasn't for Nebula glaring daggers at her, Loki might not have realized at all.

"What say you?" he said, raising his voice and startling Gamora out of her self-induced silence.

Nebula looked away instantly. Gamora pressed her lips together, displeased about being caught. Caught doing what, Loki didn't know.

"What if the stone is safe where it is?" she asked. "You said yourself that nobody can prove that it even exists. What if us looking for it will only draw Thanos' attention to it?"

"That may have been so," Loki said, "if I didn't know Thanos capable of finding it." He'd done so once already. How or where, Loki didn't know. But he'd found it, and its effects had been devastating. "If we do not retrieve it ourselves, it will only be a matter of time until he does it in our stead."

"You guys told us a single stone was capable of destroying a planet," Banner said grimly.

"The power stone was," Quill confirmed.

"Let's not put it to the test whether the same applies to the others."

"Additionally," Loki said, looking at Gamora, "I believe you are the proof that someone does know where it is."

Gamora averted her eyes.

Nebula didn't look surprised – all the more proof that she'd known of her sister's knowledge.

"Gamora?" Quill frowned at her, all concern and blind loyalty.

"You don't actually know about that thing, do you?" Rocket asked. "Cause that would mean that this entire headache of a conversation was completely pointless."

"I know where it is," Gamora said curtly.

"And you didn't feel the need to tell us?" Rocket scowled. "Some teammate you are."

Gamora grit her teeth. "I promised that I would take the secret to my grave. If I keep it to myself, Thanos won't be able to find it."

"You managed to figure out the location," Loki pointed out. "If one person succeeded, so can another."

Gamora's eyes darkened. "The source I learned it from no longer exists. I made sure of it."

"But can you promise me that it is the only one?" Loki pressed. "Can you truly, undoubtedly promise me?"

Her gaze twitched away, and Loki felt petty satisfaction.

Considering that Thanos had come to possess the soul stone in the other reality, it was possible that he'd learned its location from Gamora. Loki wondered what had been necessary to make her give up the secret. Coercion? Torture? Gamora had not been alive to fight at their side – likely she'd been killed after her usefulness had expired.

"You've trusted us up to this point," Thor said, breaking the tense silence. "You trusted us, and we've almost reached our goal. Trust us one more time."

"This is different," Gamora whispered, her expression pinched. "This is... You would have gone to Xandar and grabbed the power stone with or without us. You would have gone to Nidavellir, as well. But if the soul stone ends up falling into Thanos' hands... That would be on me. It would be my fault."

"No offence," Valkyrie said, "but I'm pretty sure everything your crazy adoptive father does is on him, not on you for not stopping him."

"Let us not get off track." Loki paused. If Gamora refused to reveal the stone's location, Loki would have no choice but to delve into her mind and tear the information out of her forcefully. "We killed two members of his Black Order. It was four of us and two of the stones, and we killed two of his most trusted subordinates."

"Two of his strongest," Thor added, "and all of the subordinates who were on the ship with them."

"Imagine what we could manage with the rest of our allies, and all of the stones." Loki paused for effect, satisfied that Gamora hung onto their every word. Her expression was pinched – reluctant to listen, but unable to stop. "Now imagine what Thanos could do, if we left the stone for him to find."

He'd decimated planets well before he'd set his eyes on the stones. They were tools to help him achieve his goals faster, but not essential for his tyranny. Gamora knew it better than any of them – she did, as did Nebula.

Loki knew he'd won her over when Gamora released a shaky, defeated sounding breath.

"Vormir," Gamora whispered, and if Loki wasn't mistaken he could hear relief ringing in her voice alongside the apprehension. "The stone is on Vormir."

Nebula's eyes swept away to glare at nothing rather than her sister, and Loki wasn't sure if this was what she'd intended to happen or not.


They decided to split up once again. Thanos subordinates had found them once, and they would manage to do so a second time. After everything that had happened, after everything they had managed, they could not risk leading them straight to the soul stone and present it to Thanos on a silver platter.

"We'll head in the opposite direction and make them think we're tracking down another stone," Gamora said. She was swaying between reluctance and determination – not fond of the plan but intent to see it completed. "As long as they're focused on us, you're free to go to Vormir and fetch the stone."

"Is there anything you can tell us about Vormir?" Thor furrowed his brows thoughtfully. "It will take a long time to search an entire planet. Even once we find it, there might be measures to protect it."

"I've never been there before," Gamora admitted. "I don't know anyone who has. I can't help you."

"You've done a lot." Thor gave her a smile, and while Gamora didn't return it, her expression softened.

"You need to be careful," Loki reminded them yet again. "You cannot initiate a fight. Make them chase you, but don't let them catch you."

It would hardly pay off if they fetched one stone only to lose another in the distraction.

"We won't stick around one place for long," Quill said. "That's the plan, right? We'll just keep luring them away."

"I killed one of those guys before." Valkyrie said. "I'll do it again, if it comes to it."

Loki trusted the Guardians – as well as Valkyrie and Banner – not any more than he trusted the Avengers. (Alright. Maybe a little bit more.) At least in this case, Thor and he stood a far better chance with their help than on their own.

Their fight on Sakaar had not been easy, and Thor and Loki both needed time to recover. They decided to stay on the Milano for another day and portal to Vormir once the ship had reached a location favorable to begin the Guardians' distraction.

Instead of using the time to sleep off his exhaustion, Loki found his brother staring out into space. The Milano gave an excellent view of a distant solar storm.

"Something on your mind?" Loki said, swallowing the bitterness their last confrontation had caused between them.

It wasn't Thor's fault. They were all trying to do the best with the odds they'd been given – and they must have been doing something right, seeing as it had gotten them five of the six stones thus far. (Even if, frustratingly, none of them had yet been destroyed.)

"I cannot stop thinking about what we were told on Nidavellir," Thor admitted.

"About Stormbreaker?"

"About father."

Loki bit his lip, keeping his silence. They had enough issues between them without Loki bursting Thor's idolization of Odin – at least the remains that Odin had not yet ruined himself.

The dwarf's implications had not been subtle.

"Eitri told me that Mjolnir was made to aid in a war crusade," Thor continued. "He said that Stormbreaker was commissioned by father."

He paused, and Loki felt his brother's eyes on his back. He kept watching the solar storm and didn't answer.

"You knew, didn't you?"

"Not about Stormbreaker," Loki said. "And neither about Mjolnir. Although... in retrospect, it makes sense."

"You learned something about him." Thor was guessing, but he was guessing well. "Something about father. In the future."

"We learned it," Loki corrected. "Mostly you did. You told me some of it, afterwards."

Thor hummed, unbothered by the correction. "Will you tell me about it in return?"

Loki drew his features into a frown. "Is now really the time to tell stories?"

The corner of Thor's mouth tugged downwards. "Perhaps not right now. But afterwards. After... this."

Loki didn't ask him to clarify whether he meant Vormir or Thanos. Either way, he didn't want to make a promise so unpleasant to fulfill. "I believe it would be better for the both of you if you asked father yourself."

Neither Thor nor Loki had gotten closure with Odin prior to his death. It was not something Loki desired – he was content having achieved what he already had: Frigga's survival and his own freedom – but he knew his brother well enough to know that he was bothered by the secrets.

"What if he refuses to tell the truth?" Thor asked.

"In that case," Loki said, "I will happily spill all of his dirty little secrets for him. Including everything I know about that little war crusade of his."

Thor gave him a wry smile – unamused by the remark but appreciating the honesty that lined it. "I'll hold you to it."

Solar flares erupted so brightly they burned in their eyes. Loki and Thor kept watching, knowing that by this time tomorrow, they might have completed their quest.

If only the stars could tell them what came afterwards.


Pepper was the first – but not last – person to take advantage of Tony's newfound powers and used them as an argument to force him to sit through several SI related business meetings.

Tony's ability to see straight through lies and second motives gave her a criminally unfair edge in their little game of how many meetings Pepper managed to sweet-talk, coerce or straight up blackmail him into.

While he'd always hated going to them, they'd become nothing short of torture ever since the mind stone had happened.

"As you can see, a liaison between Tioncorps and Stark Industries would benefit both of our companies greatly."

Tony jolted out of the haze some wannabe big name businessman had sent him into with his presentation. Mild nausea had settled in his gut the second he'd stepped into the room – the way it always did these days whenever people with questionable morals stood close to him.

"Right," Tony said, not even trying to look like he'd spent the last couple minutes listening. "Lovely. Thanks for, uh, this."

He cleared his throat, gathering his papers that existed for the sole purpose of making him look busy and important, and were actually blueprints of his microwave. (The day he managed to design a machine that was not obliterated within the week by one of his extraterrestrial and/or superstrength possessing lodgers would be the day he'd consider as his greatest scientific achievement.)

He took a step towards the exit – just in case he hadn't made it clear enough that he was practically with one foot out of the door.

"One piece of advice, if you'll allow it." He didn't wait for Wannabe Big Name's sputtered reply. "Next time you try to leech off of some other company's success to climb to the top, send someone who doesn't stink of corruption and greed."

By the time Senator Thaddeus Ross informed him of the early drafts of the so called Sokovia Accords – an ultimatum of the American government in the making – Tony'd had plenty of experience serving as a human lie detector.

Tony bore the proposition stoically and tight-lipped, not bothering to keep up anything other than the bare minimum of necessary diplomacy.

"Our only priority is keeping the public safe and preventing such a tragedy from happening again," Ross closed with, reeking of half-truths, outright lies and bad intentions.

"Thing is, I don't think he was completely wrong," Tony told his team later that day, having explained to them in broad strokes what Ross had come to tell him. "I think it isn't a bad idea to enforce some accountability."

"I don't know," Clint said, pulling a face. "It sounds pretty shady if you ask me."

"It does. There's no way I'd trust the people behind it to carry it out well. Their motives are all murky – I get nauseous just sharing a room with them."

"How big is the chance they'll actually get through with it?" Clint asked.

"Honestly? Pretty low." Tony shrugged. "They're still in the early stages. I can get my lawyers to tear through the draft and sieve out all the shady little loopholes." He paused. "Actually, did we test whether this thing only works face to face?" It would be insanely useful if he was able to sniff out lies through text as well as through conversation.

"You tell me," Clint said just as Tony's phone pinged with a message.

Tony sent Clint a suspicious glance and picked up his phone.

Top 10 Reasons Hawkeye is Actually the Most Valuable Member of the Avengers (You Won't Believe Number 5!)

"Buddy," Tony said, "I don't need powers to be able to tell you that this is bull."

"Don't be like that." Clint scrolled down on his phone, grinning. "Clearly whoever wrote this article knows what they're talking about."

"#3 says you're secretly our shadow leader."

"Told you. They know what they're talking about."

Tony let out a derisive huff and scrolled through the rest of the article. Not a single word of it made his powers flare up – although it did occasionally force him to suppress a snort. No way was he giving Clint the satisfaction.

"Nope," he said once he was through. "I got nothing." Apparently the mind stone only worked on actual human beings. A shame.

Clint shrugged. "It was worth a try." He craned his neck to look at Steve. "What say you, fearless leader? You totally agree that I'm the one everybody looks up to to make decisions, right?"

Steve didn't so much as look up.

"... Steve?"

Clint and Tony shared a look. Steve had been uncharacteristically silent and spacey lately.

Ever since he'd gotten the mind stone, Tony couldn't help but notice Steve's internal struggle. Picking up on lies wasn't the only thing he could do – the stone gave him empathic powers that made him get flashes of emotion from the people around him.

He hadn't wanted to mention it – whatever Steve was going through was private, and Tony hated that he couldn't simply turn his powers off – but his struggle was getting more oppressive by the day.

"Steve, you okay there?"

"Huh?" Steve finally looked up.

"Look," Tony said, "I don't want to press, but your moral dilemma has been giving me a headache for about a week."

Tony felt Steve's heart skipping a beat. The dread radiating from him almost took Tony's breath away. All of a sudden, the conversation didn't feel so casual anymore.

"You know what I'm thinking?" Steve asked sharply.

"No." Tony tried not to sound wary. "Only that you're struggling."

A pained expression took over Steve's features, and he closed his eyes. Tony felt weariness, regret and fear in rapid succession. Steve was afraid, Tony realized. Afraid of what?

"You know you can tell us anything," Tony said carefully. "Right?"

Steve's lips twisted into a self-deprecating smile.

Tony realized that the wave of fear was aimed at him. Steve was afraid of Tony. What could Steve possibly be keeping to himself that made him afraid of Tony finding out about it?

"Tell me what's going on," he said tonelessly.

So Steve did.

Tony hadn't thought it possible that after all these years, hearing about his parents' death could hurt as much as it still did.


A/N: We're getting close, you guys!

Beta'd by the wonderful To Mockingbird, PyrothTenka and Igornerd!