Dear diary,

We're halfway to Earth.

It's been uneventful so far. Bluestreak and Skywarp stick to their cabin most of the time, and I don't want to think about what they're doing in there. I'm glad Skyfire seems to have soundproofed the walls. And then I feel a bit guilty about him having to be aware of what they're doing. He confessed to me in a quiet moment that he's muted most of his sensors in there, but he can't mute all of them since he needs to keep at least a minimum of awareness on his passengers.

I'm not used to being inside a mech yet. This whole sapient transport thing is still a bit new. And weird, although I haven't told Skyfire that.

I've had a few sessions with Soundwave and Starscream. Star's doing fairly well, all things considered. I'm still not sure he'll handle being put up on a witness stand and grilled about the worst experiences of his life, but hopefully we can find a way around that. Maybe have him testify remotely or something.

Soundwave is leaning heavily on Thundercracker. I'm going to set up a few sessions with Thundercracker alone when this is over. Being next-of-kin isn't easy, and I can see how much energy he's using to keep Soundwave afloat. It's working now, but it'll break him in the long run.

Though, hopefully, Soundwave won't need it in the long run.

Skyfire stays in communication with Astrotrain and Blitzwing. Every now and then we can see them. The shuttles aren't keeping any set formation, but they stay close to each other. I'm kind of glad they do. Space is big enough as it is.

I can't quite get over being in space, either. When I took the trip the other way, as a human, everything was much cozier. Possibly because we were travelling in Cosmos. The scale was smaller. Plus, I did spend more than half the trip as Schrodinger's Isobel.

With everything going on, all the talks and stories and sessions and jokes, I haven't had time to worry too much. Oh, I miss First Aid with every fiber of my being, but I don't have time to pine. Besides, curling up with Groove every night helps.

The closer we get to Earth, the more my mind's taken over by the trial. I can't not think about that. It's going to be difficult, in all meanings of the word. I don't know what I'll do if we don't get to bring them all home again, safe and whole.


"Isobel?"

I glance up at the use of my old name. Not many of the mecha onboard use it – the Decepticons mostly know me as Cynosura, and Skyfire's carrying more Decepticons than Autobots.

But it's Bluestreak at the door, smiling at me. Alone too, though I bet Skywarp's not far off. I put my journal away and smile at him. "Hi, Bluestreak. What's up?"

"We're having a sit-together out in the lounge," Bluestreak replies. "Skyfire says Prime wants us to plan for the arrival on Earth."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that's a good idea."

I let him lead me out to the lounge. And stop dead in my tracks.

There are more mecha than usual. The new ones are much smaller than the rest.

Soundwave's let his cassettes out. All of them.

I move slowly to sit down next to Groove. Bluestreak sits on my other side, a quiet support for me if I need it. And I do need it. It's reassuring to be bracketed by Autobots right now.

I haven't seen Rumble and Frenzy since they helped torture me.

They're very small, fidgeting and quiet together in one seat, Soundwave on one side and Cliffjumper on the other. Ravage is on the floor in front of them, lazily stretching. Such a cat.

Thundercracker waits until Skywarp sits down next to Skywarp before speaking. "Optimus has sent us a plan for the arrival to Earth. We need to go through it and give comments."

Laserbeak looks up from her perch on Soundwave's shoulder. Her voice is as sweet as always over the short-range open comm. ::Why do we all need to be present?::

Skywarp smiles at her. "Because Prime wants everyone to know the plan, I bet. Yeah, I know, Sounders would have told you anyway. But this way you get to give your feedback to the Prime as well. That sounds good, doesn't it?"

Laserbeak is almost preening. Sweet thing.

Thundercracker hands out a set of datapads, and for a while I lose myself in the discussion. It's all fairly straight-forward and according to the instructions Ameryn Clarke gave Ultra Magnus and Prowl. There are a few annotations, though.

"Why can't we transform?" Bluestreak is frowning down at the datapad. "Earth's roads are sweet. I was hoping to get reacquainted with a few of them."

"We can. Just not in view of the human public." Cliffjumper snorts. "This is like back then all over again."

"Except no Decepticons are lyin' in wait to shoot ya," Frenzy says slyly.

I can feel my frame tensing up at the sound of his voice. It's subtle, but all of a sudden I'm back there again, feeling the cold and the hard metal against my bare skin, the horror of electricity over my flesh. I reach out almost blindly to take Groove's hand. It's grounding.

Soundwave stares at me, I think. It's hard to tell exactly, considering the visor, but it feels like he is. Further proof of the matter is when Laserbeak alights to soar across the room and land in my lap.

She doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to.

And I'm realizing that I'm going to have to make peace with Rumble and Frenzy. We're in the same boat – literally. And having to spend the time worrying about whether they're docked or if I'm going to run into them around the corner… I can't do that.

Plus, I'm twice their size now. Maybe even more. I can step on them if they misbehave.

Also… There's something in the way Rumble looks at Soundwave. I have a feeling they want peace as much as everyone else does.

Laserbeak pushes her head under my hand, and I relax a little.

We still have over a week before we get to Earth. I have time to work on myself.


Skyfire's kind enough to let us on to the bridge. Not all of us at once, and we're not allowed to touch anything – except Starscream, for some reason – but we're allowed to sit in the chairs.

Sometimes, it's the most peaceful place to be. Skyfire doesn't intrude, he's perfectly happy to let me sit there in silence if that's what I want. He'll also tell me stories if I ask.

Tonight, I'm curled up in the pilot's chair and staring out the front viewport. Space seems endless, a vast expanse of black dotted with tiny glinting lights.

"Am I being irrational?" I don't have to specify what I'm talking about. Skyfire knows me too well.

"Is Soundwave?" he counters. "Or Starscream? They're dealing with past terrors as well."

His voice is big and deep and soothing. I've never known anyone as soothing to be around as Skyfire.

"Of course not." I shake my head. "They've lived with trauma and abuse for most of their adult lives. They've got every right to their reactions."

"Then why don't you?"

I smile wryly at that. He can't really see it in this form, but I know he's got sensors trained on me. "Stop turning my tools around on me."

"Someone has to." I can hear his amusement. "Do you want my opinion?"

"Please." I sigh. "My head's running in circles."

"Hmm," he agrees. "I can tell. You've never sat still in here this long without asking me for a story." He's silent for a while, but I can tell he's thinking. When he speaks again, it's slow and careful. "You're dealing well with Soundwave. I'm not going to guess at how you got there, but you probably had to handle him somehow in order to treat him. Can you do something of the same with the twins?"

"I don't know." I shrug and stare out into the black. "With Soundwave… He showed me more of himself, and I learned to understand. Rumble and Frenzy just did what Soundwave told them. Megatron didn't interact directly with them much, and Soundwave never told them how bad things were. They had every possibility to object to my treatment, and they didn't." I can hear how bitter my tone is, but I don't bother modulating it. Skyfire can handle a few mood swings. He's been friends with Starscream for millions of years.

He's quiet again, thinking. I watch the stars while I wait.

"They might not have had a choice," he says finally. "Isobel, if I remember correctly, I believe parts of Earth have made extensive use of child soldiers?"

I stare at the ceiling for a moment. "Oh, gods. You're not comparing Rumble and Frenzy to traumatized kids who've seen their villages destroyed, their families raped and murdered in front of them, who've been forced to kill their own relatives?"

"Not in that aspect, no. But they were soldiers in an army, fighting a war. Their safety, their training, their very survival depended on Soundwave, and he was under direct threat from his commanding officer." His voice turns stern – not much, because this is Skyfire, but enough to be noticeable. "Show me the child who could grow up in those conditions and feel safe enough to protest what they were being told by the person who shielded them. Pit, even normal children have a certain loyalty to their parents."

"Frenzy and Rumble aren't children." And now I'm sulky. Great.

"Not anymore, no. But they're young. Only barely into adulthood. On Earth, it wouldn't be amiss for youngsters their age to still be living at home with their parents."

Fuck. When he puts it like that… "Okay." I sigh. "I'll talk to them."

"For what it's worth," and now his voice is warm again, "I'm very proud of you. And I know I'm not the only one."

"Thanks." I push to my feel. "Well, no time like the present, I guess. Thanks, Skyfire."

"My pleasure, Isobel. Tell Starscream he can come in now, will you? I can see him waiting outside."

Skyfire hasn't changed. I have a feeling that his top priority will always be Starscream. I'm glad.

I don't have to tell Starscream anything. The moment I leave the bridge, he slips inside, closing the door behind him. Cliffjumper winks at me as he takes up guard position outside the bridge.

One day, I'll ask those two what their relationship really is. But not today. Today, I have smaller mechs to talk to.

It's late, but not too late. I stop outside Soundwave's door, pinging him.

The door slides open in front of me.

Inside, the scene is as close to domestic as I can imagine anything could be on a space shuttle. Thundercracker's seated on the widest berth, he's got Buzzsaw on his lap. Slim seeker fingers comb through every plate on the small flier's wings. Buzzsaw looks half in recharge.

Ratbat flies at me. "Cynosura!"

I raise my arms to let him crash into them. "Hi, sweetie. It's good to see you." I look up at his carrier. "I hope I'm not disturbing."

"Negative. Evening ritual: a communal activity. Grooming. Guests welcome." Soundwave moves over to the berth Thundercracker's sitting on, leaving the smaller berth free. "Cynosura: welcome."

"Thanks." I sit down on the berth he just left. Take a deep breath. Then another.

Damn, this is hard.

Thundercracker looks at me with understanding. I think he knows why I'm here. Soundwave probably does, too, considering how he looked at me earlier. Also, because he's Soundwave.

"I wondered if I could talk to Frenzy and Rumble," I say finally. "Or at least try."

Soundwave stares at me for a moment. His mask slips back. "Acceptable. Rumble, Frenzy, eject."

His dock opens, and the cassettes fly out. Honestly, I'll never get used to this.

They've clearly been detailed. I feel a bit guilty for disturbing their recharge, but it's swamped by an overpowering feeling of trepidation.

I do not like this. I should have brought Groove or someone.

Ratbat snuggles up against me. "Why did you get all tense, girl?"

Huh. Proper sentence forming. I guess someone's matured.

"Because Rumble and Frenzy hurt her, and she's afraid," Thundercracker explains, optics on me. "Isn't that right?"

I manage a nod. "That's true."

Soundwave hesitates. There's an upset drag over his mouth. "Soundwave has apologized. Cynosura has forgiven."

"I'm not here because I bear grudges," I assure him, only realizing as I do that it's actually true. "I'm here because I can't freeze up whenever I see them. I can't walk around being afraid." I look down at the two cassettes on the floor. "I need to put it behind me somehow."

Thundercracker's smiling.

Frenzy looks up at me. He looks almost bored, but I'd bet anything it's a mask. I bet Soundwave's in the back of his spark, nudging him on.

But it's Rumble who makes the first move. He sighs, looking down at the floor. "We're sorry too, meatbag. Um. I mean Isobel. Or, frag, Cynosura now I guess."

"Someone reminded me that you were following orders," I reply slowly. "So… I'm probably forgiving you."

Thundercracker leans forward and hands me a polishing cloth. It's a blatant hint, but with that smile I don't mind. He wants us all to get along.

Rumble and Frenzy hesitate, though. I don't blame them. And I guess I have to prove myself, too. "I'm not going to harm anyone, or take revenge, or anything like that. That's not me." Ratbat pushes into my fingers again, demanding, and I take the distraction happily. The polishing cloth will work fine on him first, and maybe it'll prove that I don't mean any harm. Besides, he's clearly not been cleaned yet – there's still energon around his mouth.

The twins look at each other, then at their carrier, then at Ratbat. And then they crawl unto the berth next to me.

"So, um… Have ya seen the Deadpool movie?" Frenzy looks up at me, almost shyly.

Figures they'd like that. "I love Deadpool."

Rumble grins. "Well, have ya watched the sequel?"

I freeze, stare at him. "There's a sequel?"

He snickers. "Yeah, guess ya missed that while being a vegetable, huh?"

"We have it on our datapad." Frenzy scooches closer. "Wanna watch?"

Soundwave's visor glints. "Deadpool: inappropriate viewing material for youngest cassette."

"Aw." Ratbat pouts on my lap. "But I'm almost mature. I wanna watch."

"Ratbat: not mature yet."

I rub Ratbat's head the way he likes. "Guess Soundwave is the boss. When you're older, baby." I wink at Rumble and Frenzy. "It's getting kind of late, anyway. Movie night in the lounge tomorrow? I bet Skywarp and Bluestreak and Groove want to watch, too."

Thundercracker's still smiling at me. The approval's clear as day.

"It's a date," Frenzy grins. His face falls as his brother laughs at him, though. "I mean, not a date. A deal. Shut up, ya fragger." He elbows Rumble angrily.

They really are just kids.

"Rumble, Frenzy, return." Soundwave opens his dock again, and the cassettes transform to dock. The process is just as fascinating in reverse.

I put the polishing cloth to work on Ratbat's plating again. He's almost snoozing in my lap.

It's comfortable. I'm in Soundwave's room, taking care of his cassette, and I'm comfortable. Soundwave offers me a small smile, and I return it.

I guess wonders really never cease.


We're heading from A to B. It's logical that the trip has to end. And I thought I was prepared.

Apparently, nothing can fully prepare me for standing on Skyfire's bridge and seeing Earth ahead.

"It's as pretty as ever," Skyfire muses. "I have to admit, with the way humanity was heading, I was worried."

Groove's arms are strong around my waist. I lean into him gratefully. "It looks the same."

Almost. There's something off. Just like with the UN map, something's not right. "Can I stay here as we move closer?"

"Of course," Skyfire replies instantly. "You're very welcome."

Groove stays with me as we fly closer. Even with Skyfire's speed it takes a while. Earth grows bigger and bigger in front of us.

"It is different," I whisper, as Europe spins slowly into view. "I knew it."

It's the strangest feeling, seeing your home planet again when everything's changed. I'm caught somewhere between horror and nostalgia.

Groove leans forward, frowning. "What happened to the coastline?"

I sigh. "We screwed up. Humanity screwed up."

"The sea levels are higher." Skyfire sounds partly horrified as well, but the other part is fascinated. I guess it's the scientist in him. "The coastlines are radically altered because global warming has melted the large glaciers, increasing the sea level drastically."

"No wonder the map looked different," I agree. "The whole world is different."

It's a lot to take in. I can't quite believe it's real.

"We're breaching atmosphere soon," Skyfire says. "Please go back to the lounge and strap yourselves in. I'll make it as smooth as I can, but apparently there's always wind shears at high altitudes now."

Groove takes my hand. "Come on, sweet. Let's go sit down."

I might need to sit just from the surprise, I realize. I feel disconnected from my frame somehow. Maybe I do really need a moment.

Groove sits next to me, and Thundercracker smiles at me from the next seat over. He looks markedly less nervous than his trineleader. Starscream's jaw is tense, wings hiked high on his back, and if his glare could drill through plating Skyfire would have a dozen holes by now.

I feel like I should do something. But before I get the chance, Cliffjumper proves yet again how aware of Starscream's mood he is at any given time. He leans closer and pushes his arm into Starscream's hand, without saying anything.

Starscream blinks. Then his hand tightens around Cliffjumper's arm, probably hard enough to dent plating. Cliffjumper doesn't even blink.

"Whatever you need," he murmurs, and Starscream's wings lower a faction. Looks like I won't need to intervene after all.

Despite Skyfire's reassurances, it's a bumpy ride. He's got more control than most airplanes I've been a passenger on, so we don't go up and down as much, but he has this side-to-side movement that would have made me queasy if I still had a human stomach. My Cybertronian tanks seem to be immune to air sickness, though. And it doesn't take long before we level out, and Skyfire slides the window shutters back to let the brilliant sunlight in.

"Can't let you unbuckle yet," he says apologetically. "The winds are unpredictable, and since our medic's in another shuttle we don't want any injuries. Be patient for a while longer."

The trip has lasted for three weeks. I should be able to handle a few more minutes, or even hours. But I'm so curious to look outside that I'm almost vibrating in my seat, squeezing Groove's hand so hard it has to hurt.

"Easy, sweet." He grins at me. "The planet isn't going anywhere."

Oh, haha. "You try coming back to your home planet after centuries and see if you aren't impatient to see it."

I conveniently, maybe deliberately, forget that they've done exactly that. The Protectobots flew home to Cybertron last time they left Earth. Groove apparently remembers, though, since all he does is laugh. "I remember Blades when we were coming home to Cybertron. He almost knocked a hole in Skyfire's chassis."

"Yes." Skyfire's voice is extremely dry. "I remember that too. I threatened to have him fly down under his own power." He banks, and suddenly I can see the ocean through the window.

"Hey, Skyfire? Which continent are we landing on?" I can't stop straining against the harness buckling me down. I want to see.

"Europe. Close to Geneva." He chuckles, though it sounds a little forced. "Apparently, it's apt."

I'd say so. Someone in the Security Council has a sense of humor, it seems. Or maybe it's supposed to be a pointed reminder.

"Okay, we're landing in a few minutes," Skyfire says. "No time for looking outside, I'm afraid. These guys want us down as soon as possible."

As if to prove the point, what can only be a fighter jet appears outside, escorting us. Skywarp stares at it with clear interest. "Ooh. Might have to update my Earth alt mode."

Starscream scoffs. "That thing is too light to do any damage. Any hit would go straight through."

Looks like the humans have been innovative while I've been gone. In between handling all the sea level rises and other global warming effects.

I can feel it when Skyfire starts his final approach. His nosecone lifts up slightly, there's a whirr as he extends his landing gear. All this is very familiar. Strangely so, actually.

"Why on Earth do you fly like an Earth plane?" I wonder. "Aren't you a lot more advanced?"

Skyfire laughs at me. So do the seekers. "We don't want to freak out the humans," Thundercracker explains. "Besides, there's a runway. This is efficient enough."

I look at the plane escorting us again. It's all slim planes and flat angles, wide, broad wings and low body. It looks like…

It looks like an anti-grav skimmer, is what it looks like. Like something straight out of science fiction.

Then again, I'm flying in a sapient space shuttle with a bunch of robot aliens. I don't think I have room to talk.

The jolt as Skyfire touches down is almost unnoticeable. I still feel like my spark has stopped in my chest.

"Welcome to Earth," he says softly. "You can take off your seatbelts now. We're being directed to tax into a large hangar."

I'm free of the restraints and plastered against the windows before he finishes the sentence.

Earth looks the same. And completely different.

There are trees, short grasses. Clouds in the sky. A series of flags being whipped about by the wind. Low buildings edging the runway. A control tower.

But the buildings are built in a material I don't recognize – it looks like brick, but not quite. The runway isn't tarmac, or even concrete, and it's almost sand-colored. And there's no other aircraft in sight.

I stare out the window until Skyfire's rolled into the hangar, cutting off my view.

Groove takes my hand. "Ready?"

"I guess I have to be." I don't feel ready. Everything's changed so much.

"We're letting Prime disembark first," Thundercracker reminds us. "Keep quiet for now. We don't want to give away anything." He nods towards our linked hands. "Don't show them who we are to each other yet. We don't know what they'll end up using against us."

This feels more like going into hostile enemy land than to a trial. I don't like it. And I won't let go of Groove's hand until I have to.

We queue up as Skyfire lowers his ramp. I walk behind Skywarp and Bluestreak. Soundwave and Starscream are both close behind me, somewhat surrounded by mecha. One glance at Starscream proves he's as nervous as I am.

The hangar is full of humans. There's a contingent of them standing in the middle of the floor, in various versions of parade rest. Behind them, lining the entire space, there are soldiers. Armed soldiers. Each one pointing some sort of weapon at us.

So much for a peaceful welcome. Though I suppose they have a right to be cautious.

We stop next to Optimus and Ratchet and the others who'd been flying in Blitzwing, just as Astrotrain's passengers disembark and come up behind us. Soon we're an orderly crowd, staring down at the humans in charge.

Not that that seems to worry any of them. The dark-haired woman in the front and center takes one look at us before stepping forward.

"Cybertronians," she greets us. Her accent is clipped, and very familiar. "I am Ameryn Clarke. Welcome to Earth."

Holy crap.


Dear diary,

Holy crap.

I'm on Earth. It doesn't seem real.

The humans have set aside living space for us in one of their larger hangars. Even with that, there's not much room, and the rooms are tiny, but at least there's privacy of sorts. And the humans don't come in here unless invited.

It is so strange to be here. Earth air feels like it used to, even though my systems are different. The ground is familiar – even when I sink into it. It reminds me of the time I went to an outdoor wedding in high heels.

I hadn't thought I would be back here.

The humans have been friendly, so far. Even if they're on their guard. I don't blame them for that. Even without visible weaponry, any one of us could kill a human without putting much effort into it. At least a few of them seem more curious than hostile though, which is a good start.

Mrs. Clarke told us that the trial would start a week from now. That's to give us some time to get acquainted with our surroundings and the humans here and most of all, our human attorney. The hangar we're in has a large communal space as well as a few smaller meeting rooms, where we can be briefed and interviewed. Per Ultra Magnus' request, computers that have access to the full law texts they'll be using to judge us have been set up. When I walked past there earlier, Skyfire was busy connecting them to Cybertronian datapads so we can all read them. Streetwise and Nosecone were hovering around him. I guess they're eager to help.

It was good to reunite with the others, as well. I wasn't sure how Sides and Sunny would handle the trip, stuck on board a shuttle for three weeks, but they seem to be doing fine. It probably helped that they were traveling with Optimus and Ratchet.

Everyone seems to be in higher spirits than I'd expected. Maybe they're as relieved as me to finally get this process started.


"Knock, knock." Groove taps a few fingers against my open door jamb and smiles at me.

I put my journal away. "I know they put us in single rooms, but if you think I'm recharging without you you've got another thing coming."

"Sideswipe and Sunstreaker already shifted their rooms around. Optimus and Ratchet, too." He looks around my small room. "We'll move your chair and desk to my room, and move my berth in here, and then we'll have a bedroom and a lounge."

I like that plan. But I like the way he's looking at me even more. I scoot back on the berth as he closes the door and locks it.

"Soundwave screened the building." His voice has suddenly dropped into a deeper register. "And the cassettes have disabled the surveillance tech he found. The humans won't know what's going on in here." The way he's walking towards me is almost predatory.

"I want you." My entire frame is aching for him suddenly. Being stuck on a space shuttle wasn't conducive to intimacy – call me old-fashioned, but the thought of interfacing inside a living being, a friend nonetheless, icked me – and I'm more than ready to end the dry spell.

When Groove crawls over me, hands and hips pressing me to the berth, I can't help but arch into the touch. "I need you," he murmurs against my throat. "My spark aches for you."

The words really get to me. My chest plates have unlocked before I've had the chance to send the command. I want his spark, I want to be surrounded by the steadfast love and care that is Groove, I want to melt into him.

And I want to feel First Aid in his spark.

Groove wastes no time. His chest plates slide apart, bathing the room in teal light, and his lips are on mine as he presses closer. I push up, into him, feeling his spark tendrils teasing mine until we're flush together, until we're one.

I'm in him. And he's in me.

And then there's this fierce presence, distant but bright, as First Aid pushes into the bond. I can't feel him very strongly, he's too far away, but there's no mistaking that adoration, that compassion and sweetness. I'd have known this was First Aid anywhere.

I love you. I push the words at both of them as hard as I can manage. I love you so much.

I love you too, Groove replies, and First Aid pulses this wave of affection at me, and I lose myself in the feeling as it climbs and climbs and climbs…

I overload with a keen, Groove moaning against my neck and pulling me close enough that it feels like we're one being.

As good as it feels, I don't want us to separate. I want to keep feeling both my Protectobots. But sparks aren't meant for prolonged merges, and as Groove slips away from me, so does First Aid. I manage to pulse one more wave at him before he's gone.

I'm suddenly very alone. It's deeply disturbing and strange to be alone in my frame again, and I cling to Groove as he settles on top of me. "Don't go. Stay here."

"Not going anywhere," he promises, nuzzling me. "Nap time?"

"Nap time."

Whatever else needs arranging, we can get to it later. Much later.