xxxxxx
Chapter 11
xxxxxx
Mr. Salinger dragged Eddie fairly roughly down the stairs and into the room with the fireplace, which Eddie hadn't spent that much time in thus far. Eddie could tell the man was angry, that he didn't feel like Eddie was a victim in all of this. He wasn't treating Eddie like he'd just saved him as much as he'd just caught him.
Eddie's heart pounded in his chest. He felt extremely lightheaded. Almost every single time a foster-parent had looked at him how Mr. Salinger was, had yelled at him in such angry tones... Something painful followed. He'd be beaten, forced to stand outside in the cold, sometimes even something sexual. Eddie didn't know Mr. Salinger well enough to guess what was coming, but whatever it was, he didn't think it was anything good.
"M-Mr. Salinger..." Eddie whimpered, his breaths still extremely short, wheezy, painful. "P-please don't hurt me..." He choked. "I didn't do anything. P-Patrick made me... I didn't want to... Please... Please don't hurt me..." He begged breathlessly. "I'm sorry it happened. I didn't want it to... Please don't hurt me. Please!"
Mr. Salinger shook his head in disappointment as he stared down at Eddie. "I'm not going to hurt you, Edward. We've discussed that already. I'm not a child abuser. I'm just really damn disappointed."
Eddie's lip trembled as tears welled up in his eyes. How the hell was Mr. Salinger disappointed in Eddie? Eddie wasn't the one forcing other kids to do sexual things with him. Eddie didn't do anything but get forced into doing humiliating, degrading, painful things. He had no choice. Patrick would have hurt him otherwise, probably would have dragged him to the shower and done it all even if Eddie was kicking and screaming the whole way there.
The man exhaled a long, loud breath when Eddie didn't say anything back. "Why the hell would you let him do that to you?" Mr. Salinger growled, shoving Eddie a few steps into the room and closing the door behind them.
"I-" Eddie hesitated. He didn't let Patrick do anything. Patrick just did it.
"You're fucking tiny. You can't let older boys do that shit to you. Excluding the fact that it's fucking disgusting - that you're not allowed to have god damned sex of any kind under this roof... Why him? Why that tall, hulking eighteen year old fucking kid? You realize I'm probably going to have to take you to the hospital? We'll have to report this, let them examine you... That means they're gonna look in your ass, using some kinda awful, cold, metallic fucking surgical tool. I'm gonna have to fucking explain how you got injuries like that, on my watch..." The man ranted. "If they suspect I did it, I'm gonna be so mad. I never hurt a kid. Ever. And then you and this fucking creepy pervert go and do this, make me look bad. Make people maybe suspect I encourage or allow this... There's gonna be a shit load of questions all of us are going to have to answer about this."
"I'm not hurt... I don't have to go to the hospital..." Eddie breathed, staring with huge, wide eyes. He definitely didn't want to go to the hospital, and he really did feel pretty confident he wasn't hurt. Patrick had started forcing his penis into him, but he didn't get far. It hurt for a moment, and then he stopped. Eddie could barely even tell anymore that it had even happened. There was a sort of dull pain down there, but nothing big, no stinging or stabbing feeling. He was pretty sure he was okay, that he didn't need medical attention.
"You're built like a god damned eight year old. That kid, whether you wanted to do it or not, is too damn big. There's no way you're not hurt right now." Mr. Salinger growled.
Eddie shook his head. He wasn't hurt, not bad enough to need to see a doctor. Maybe Mr. Salinger was overestimating how far Patrick got. "I'm not hurt... I don't need to go to the hospital... J-just... Can we get Patrick out of here? Or me? C-can I go somewhere else?"
Salinger stared back at him. He looked angry. "You're not going anywhere. You don't get to fucking shop for foster families, kid. You go where you're told, and you do what you're told. Patrick's not going anywhere. The four of you are my fucking responsibility and we've gotta figure out how to live together."
"But-" Eddie started.
"No. You shut your mouth. I made the rules so damn clear." Mr. Salinger hissed. "So, so damn clear. What did you not understand, Edward? Why would you let him do that?"
"I didn't..." Eddie whispered, shrinking down.
"You did. You went with him. I didn't hear you screaming." Mr. Salinger frowned. "Not until your friend was trying to break the damn door down. If you didn't want to do it, you should have called for help. I wouldn't have let him do that to you. If I knew... But you just didn't say shit. You just quietly let him do it. No screaming. No fighting."
Eddie felt his mouth drop open slightly. "He... He would have hurt me..." His lip trembled as fresh tears stung at his eyes. Maybe he should have fought back more. Maybe this was his fault. Patrick told him to come with him to the shower... Richie was right there in the room and Eddie stayed quiet. Mr. Salinger would have heard him if he started screaming out in the hallway. Was this his fault?
"He hurt you anyway, kid." Mr. Salinger scoffed. "I don't believe this... You can't just let people do this shit, then cry and call it rape when you get caught. I wouldn't have ever guessed you'd be the one I'd have to have this talk with. You seemed so tiny and cute and innocent... You skip class, you do this... I just didn't expect to walk in and find you with another kid's dick up your ass."
Eddie choked out a shaking sob, looking down at the floor. "I didn't want to..." He repeated, feeling his breaths become more ragged again.
"Then you fuckin' tell him no. Are you god damned serious right now?" Mr. Salinger stared. "You don't go into a shower with another kid, get naked with him... If you don't want him to do what he was doing... Why the hell would you take off your clothes and get into the shower with him? What did you think would happen?"
Eddie continued sobbing breathlessly, grabbing the front of the towel wrapped around him with shaking fingers. He just didn't want Patrick to hurt him worse, or to let Henry hurt him. It didn't feel like he had a choice.
Mr. Salinger shook his head. "Richard says Patrick's been making you do this stuff for a while... Did he do it before? Any other times? I mean, how fuckin' torn up down there are you? Did he hold you down? You got bruises?" He reached out and grabbed Eddie's arm, eliciting a sharp breath from the boy.
Eddie remained silent as Mr. Salinger held onto his arm, looking it up and down, running his fingers over narrow, finger-shaped bruises on the boy's arms and wrists.
"He really did hold you down, huh... Why didn't you tell me?" Mr. Salinger glared. He still looked mad, like he was more angry with Eddie for not telling than with Patrick for actually doing it. "He's been doing this shit to you for days and you just didn't say anything? If you didn't want to do it, you'd have told me. No one lets somebody rape him up the ass for days when there's a way out right there. All you'd have to do is tell me and I would have told him to stop."
Eddie swallowed. "I was scared..." He whispered. "I'm still scared. I'm telling you now, and you're blaming me..."
"You're not telling me. This isn't you asking for help. This is me interrogating you after I caught you doing things you weren't supposed to be doing." Mr. Salinger stared. "I'd consider this more of a confession than a plea for help."
Eddie shook his head and sniffed a shaking, tear-filled breath.
Mr. Salinger exhaled and shook his head. "Tell the truth now. Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the E.R.?"
Eddie's eyes widened as he shook his head no.
"Let me see." Mr. Salinger demanded, reaching out and grabbing at the towel Eddie had wrapped around him.
Eddie gasped and shrunk back, covering himself with his hands as Mr. Salinger removed the towel completely. "Please, Mr. Salinger..." Eddie whispered, backing slowly away. "J-just let me go back to my room... Please..." What was Mr. Salinger going to do? Eddie was completely naked without the towel, completely vulnerable.
"Did he hit you here?" Mr. Salinger reached out toward Eddie's ribs.
Eddie hissed a sharp breath and flinched back. He wasn't supposed to tell this man any of this. Henry and Patrick were both going to be so fucking mad at him. They were going to hurt him so bad.
"You gotta tell me everything, Edward. There's no secrets in this house. Not from me. I'm the one who's gonna get blamed if someone sees all these fucking bruises." Mr. Salinger stared.
Eddie choked out a shaking sob, shrinking down and shaking his head. He'd already said too much. He didn't want to say anything else. Even telling Mr. Salinger a big chunk of the truth, it seemed Eddie was still being blamed for this. Telling him did Eddie no favors. He was just going to make Patrick and Henry more angry with him. They were going to really fucking hurt him once they got their hands on him.
"I don't want to get in trouble for this shit. It's your fault you let this kid do this to you. Now I gotta make sure you're not hurt. If you've got untreated injuries, I'm the one who's gonna be in trouble for it, for letting it happen, for not getting it looked at. I'm acting as your guardian, so I need to know you're not seriously hurt. Move your hands." Mr. Salinger ordered.
Eddie's lip trembled as tears filled his eyes. He shook his head no.
Mr. Salinger exhaled a frustrated breath, grabbing Eddie's arm and tugging his hand away from his groin. "I ain't gonna hurt you, Edward. I just wanna make sure you're not already hurt. Did Patrick um..." He cleared his throat as he hesitated. "Did he, uh... like do it? Did he actually do it?"
Eddie looked down, nodding yes. "A little bit..." He whispered.
Mr. Salinger shook his head as though completely disappointed in Eddie. "Turn around." He ordered.
Eddie breathed out a shaking breath. His lip trembled as fear seized his heart. "Mr. Salinger... Please..." He choked, shaking his head and taking steps back away from the man. "Please just let me go back. I don't wanna do this... I'm fine..."
"Come here." Mr. Salinger waved him over toward a couch in the middle of the room, patting the back of it. "Lean over this. I'll check you out really quick, make sure you're not bleeding... Then you can go back."
Eddie stared at him. His breaths were growing more and more frantic. He was going to faint if he didn't get his breathing under control. His inhaler was up in his room. He really felt like he might need it.
"Edward." Mr. Salinger glared. "Now. Or you're gonna be in a whole lot of trouble."
Swallowing and exhaling a painful, shaking breath, Eddie walked over to the couch, standing awkwardly behind it. He bit his lower lip and looked up at Mr. Salinger through his tears. "P-please don't hurt me... I didn't want to do what Patrick made me do... I didn't... I tried to tell him no. He said he'd hurt me. I didn't know what do... Please don't, Mr. Salinger. Please don't hurt me..."
"I won't hurt you. Calm down." Mr. Salinger put his hand lightly on Eddie's back, firmly but somewhat gently pushing him toward the couch, bending him over the back of it so that his chest was pressed against the front of the back-rest. His head was practically touching the cushions... and his bottom was embarrassingly pointed up and on full-display.
Eddie choked out small, shaking sobs as he felt Mr. Salinger's hands on his butt, spreading his cheeks in order to inspect the damage Patrick may have caused. At least, he hoped that's all the man was doing. It wasn't like Eddie was going to be able to do anything about it if Mr. Salinger decided he liked what he saw, if he decided what Patrick did sounded pretty fun and chose to do the same thing.
Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, bringing his hands in loose fists up toward his mouth and whimpering frightened breaths as he felt Mr. Salinger's thumbs threateningly close, pulling, spreading... not penetrating, but so close.
"He actually shoved his dick in you?" Mr. Salinger sounded like he was frowning.
Eddie breathed in a tiny, wheezing breath. He couldn't bring himself to speak. He was shaking so badly. He felt so close to passing out.
"Doesn't look like it would possibly fit." Mr. Salinger noted, still prodding embarrassingly with his fingers, running this thumbs lightly over the potentially injured area, still stretching Eddie's skin uncomfortably and awkwardly as he painstakingly inspected the boy for injuries.
"I'm not a damn doctor... Sure as hell not this kind of doctor." Mr. Salinger complained, pressing his thumbs down in a sort of opening motion, trying to see if Eddie had any visible injuries down there. "If you're hurt it would be up here at the surface, right? I mean... I don't know how to check down deeper." He laughed slightly. "Not unless I get like a kleenex and shove it in... see if it comes out bloody." He chuckled. "Or like a tampon."
Eddie sobbed softly. "Please don't." He whimpered. This was so embarrassing, almost worse than what Patrick had done, because it was slow, painstaking... Mr. Salinger was poking, prodding, staring, seeing every inch of him, lingering on that one very private, very intimate place... And he was laughing about it. Eddie was completely humiliated, betrayed, hurt, terrified... and Mr. Salinger thought it was funny.
"I won't." Mr. Salinger laughed. "I don't have any fucking tampons, and I'm not about to shove my finger up your ass, whether there's a kleenex over it or not. I'm not a fucking pervert, Edward. Don't think I enjoy this. You're the one letting bigger kids force their dicks up your ass. This is the last thing I wanted to wake up and have to do."
"Th-then stop... P-please..." Eddie breathed, tears choking up out of his throat.
"I have to make sure you're not hurt, Ed. Do you get that?" Mr. Salinger grumbled, still spreading Eddie's cheeks and prodding humiliatingly around down below. "This isn't something I'm into. I don't like doing this, feeling around, opening a fucking asshole with my fingers, having to make sure some nasty kid's dick didn't tear it. I'm not a pervert, Edward. I just have to make sure you didn't let this kid destroy you down here." He laughed slightly.
Eddie sniffed softly. He sure was taking a long time to do this... If he wasn't a pervert, maybe he could have insisted that Eddie go to a doctor instead. Not that Eddie wanted to do that... Just... Mr. Salinger even specifically admitted that he didn't know what he was doing. What was the point of this? He wasn't going to get a definite answer on whether or not Eddie was hurt. Not without a trained doctor checking. This was worthless.
Maybe he just wanted to embarrass Eddie. Maybe that was the whole point - so Eddie would know that letting Patrick do what he did would mean even further embarrassment for Eddie afterward. Maybe this was his punishment.
"Can't even tell he did anything." Mr. Salinger noted, finally letting go and patting Eddie lightly on his back.
Eddie remained where he was, bent over, shaking, completely terrified that Mr. Salinger might still hurt him if he so much as moved.
"I want you to promise me you're not gonna let anything like this happen again." Mr. Salinger spoke as he grabbed Eddie's arms and pulled him back up, wrapping the towel back around him.
Eddie held the towel up with shaking hands, staring nervously up at Mr. Salinger. "Okay." He breathed, even though he knew it wasn't really up to him. If Patrick wanted to hurt him, he was going to... and he probably really, really wanted to hurt him after this.
"I mean it. I don't want to have to be the bad guy here... I don't want to have to call your social worker and tell her you're doing this nasty shit." Mr. Salinger threatened. "If you promise not to let him do this again, I won't call her."
"Okay..." Eddie breathed.
"Good boy." He clapped Eddie on the shoulder and forced an insincere smile. "Richard!" Mr. Salinger suddenly yelled, making Eddie flinch.
Eddie heard footfalls, but not from upstairs. It sounded like they were just in the hallway, like Richie had been waiting at the bottom of the stairs rather than up in their room. Maybe he had followed them down here. Maybe he was waiting nearby in the hallway, wanting to make sure Eddie was alright...
Eddie hoped he hadn't seen or heard anything Mr. Salinger just did. It was so fucking humiliating. Eddie looked down at the floor as Richie opened the door. "Yeah? You okay, Eds?" The other boy immediately asked. He sounded kind of out of breath.
Eddie nodded quickly, but refused to look up. He couldn't make eye-contact with Richie right now. He couldn't bring himself to speak. He didn't want to see or talk to anyone. He just wanted to go hide. Eddie felt his breaths picking up speed again. He was starting to feel extremely overwhelmed. He needed to be alone for a minute.
"Take him back up to your room... And try to keep an eye on him, Richard." Mr. Salinger ordered. "Can't have you boys turning this house into a god damn orgy."
Eddie kept looking down, but felt Richie's hands on his arms, pulling him protectively up against his chest. "Patrick was raping him." Richie growled, putting one and on Eddie's back and the other on the back of his head, holding him close. "You need to keep an eye on Patrick. Eddie didn't do anything wrong."
"You kids gotta tell me if shit like this happens." Salinger shrugged. "I can't read your minds... If you don't want to have sex with the other boys, don't let 'em take you into the shower with 'em. Go to bed. It's well past nine-thirty."
Eddie felt Richie exhale angrily as he pulled the smaller boy along out into the hallway.
"I fucking hate him." Richie growled. Eddie wasn't sure if he was talking about Patrick, Mr. Salinger, Henry, or maybe all three... But regardless, Eddie agreed. He hated them too.
xxxxxx
