The Flower Moon


Year Eight, Chapter Nineteen

Wolves: Lost and Found


Jacob's Point of View


Nessie and I had a hunting trip planned for this afternoon. We left before the sun rose this morning and had been driving north for the past eight hours, to Canada to find something other than the normal game in the New Hampshire wilderness. It had been awhile since Nessie and I'd hunted together and I was really looking forward to it. She seemed a bit jittery, fidgeting in her seat the entire way in the car, for some reason. She was probably just overly excited for the change in her diet; deer was must get boring to drink week after week.

After she fed she would be fine. And it would be nice having some alone time with her. Since having the kids it seemed like we never did anything alone, just the two of us.

No one else had come. Dave and Felicity preferred deer, so they didn't want to drive all the way to Canada with us since we would be tracking black bears, cougars, and other carnivores.

Nessie had convinced me to try and patch things up with Leah. She was right. No matter what she had done, chosen to love, she was a member of my Pack, and my responsibility. Even if that meant I was now stuck with Nahuel now too. We were talking again… Leah and I. Nahuel's and my relationship would take more time. It's a good thing we had eternity. I'd asked them if they wanted to come with us or if not if they could watch over David and Felicity but they were… um, busy. Now that their secret was out they'd practically locked themselves in Nahuel's bedroom.

Seth and Carol agreed to stay home with the kids.

Dave might not appreciate babysitters, but Felicity wanted to spend as much time as she could with someone other than her parents and brother.

"What's that amazing smell?" Nessie asked after we'd been running for about twenty minutes.

I sniffed the air but couldn't pinpoint what she had caught. There was a storm coming and the wind was picking up.

I had to phase back onto two feet to warn her. "Ness… the storm!" She was getting too far away, headed right into the middle of a snowstorm.

Before I knew it it started snowing… heavily.

Nessie didn't seem to care; she was half a mile away from me at this point and kept running, right out of my sight. I phased back but even with my enhanced Wolf eyes the snow was making it impossible to see more than twenty feet in front of me, and the wind was shifting all around. I couldn't pick up her scent. Damn-it! Where did she go?

I started running in the direction I thought she'd gone, but came up empty. I tried howling a couple of times, hoping she would hear me howl and come back, but I wasn't sure she even knew where I was.

After another twenty, or so minutes of frantic searching I finally caught her scent, she must have been just over that next hill. Climbing up I saw a form that I think was her. Yes, sniffing deeply, I could tell that it was definitely her scent. Thank goodness. She was safe and was feeding on some animal.

I knew I didn't really need to worry; she was more than capable of taking care of herself. Being Half-Vampire made her stronger than anything out here, except if she happened upon a Full-Vampire. And what were the chances of that happening? And even if it did, she was so smart and clever; whoever they were didn't stand a chance, just like Joham hadn't. But I still worried. She was my Imprint, and I loved her.

At first I thought she was feeding on a coyote, which were fairly common in the area, a little small but about the same shape as what was under her. But the tail was thicker and bushier, the ears longer and the head shape was all wrong. As I got closer the bile started rising in my throat as I realized exactly what kind of an animal she was feeding on. It wasn't a coyote. It was a wolf!

How could she? I was a Wolf for crying out loud! So was her son. And she knew wolves were sacred to my people. She'd heard the legends, the creation stories that said Quileute's were descended from them.

It wasn't exactly true, in a way, unless you took into account the story of how Taha Aki's spirit warrior had asked a wolf to share his body, after his own had been destroyed, which resulted in the first phasing. So I guess in a way all current shape-shifting Wolves were partially descended from that first Aki-Wolf. Because of this it was against the Tribes rules to ever hurt them.

I wanted to go to her, but I didn't... I couldn't. What was going on with her? Why had Nessie done this?

Before I knew it she was off – running after her next meal.

Please don't let it be another Wolf.

As I followed her scent from just over one hundred yards away I stopped when she did and slowly crept closer. I saw that this time she'd nabbed an elk and breathed a sigh of relief.

The chase for the second animal had taken fifteen or so minutes and had given me a chance to calm down. I was no longer seething, but was nowhere near actually calm. Nevertheless I needed to go to her. Our Imprint bond was telling me that something wasn't right and I needed to be close to her, to hold her in my arms. Maybe it was just that she'd taken off without me, that I had to go searching for her, and I just needed the physical contact to know she was truly safe.

That was what our bond and my body was telling me. My mind on the other hand still felt betrayed. This was a strange feeling, something I'd never experienced before. I didn't like the different parts of myself warring with each other.

Eventually I gave in to the pull of the Imprint and made my way down to Nessie. I hoped that somehow, once I held her, the two warring parts of me would reunite and all would be well again.

"Nessie?" I grunted as I approached her after phasing back. After a few more gulps of blood, still ignoring me, she finished off the elk, and then finally looked up, and stared at me, with a crazed look in her eyes.

Oh! Was there something wrong with her? She had a frenzied animalistic look in her eyes that she sometimes got when she hunted. I'd seen other members of the Cullen family get it too, but it normally disappeared after they had fed.

"Nessie honey," I said softly this time, carefully, trying to calm her down and take her out of whatever trance, or whatever, she was in.

"Nessie, sweetheart, it's me, Jake," I tried again, as I slowly approached, almost within reach to touch her. But she got up into a defensive crouch looking like she was going to pounce on me.

Did she just growl at me? Crap!

I crept forward another step, never taking my eyes off of hers. She hadn't moved. I couldn't tell if that was a good or bad sign. She didn't relax but hadn't attacked either.

Cautiously I extended my arm and rested my hand on hers.

"Jake?" she questioned, starting to come out of it, when our skin touched. She then looked down at our hands and then back up at me and her eyes grew wide. She gasped. "Jake... I... um... Jacob, oh... oh my goodness." She started talking faster, yet still stuttering over her words. "Did you…?" she finally asked without actually saying what she did. I nodded. "I'm so sorry. I… I thought that... I don't know. I just couldn't help myself."

"Nessie how could you?" I instinctively snapped at her, my anger returning, now that I knew she was okay. Killing a wolf was like killing in a member of my family. She knew what they meant to me, to the Quileute people.

"I said I was sorry Jake, I didn't mean to growl. I was just so caught up hunting; I didn't realize it was you."

What? That's what she thinks I'm mad at? She must not know I saw.

I needed time to think. I didn't want to feel like this about Nessie, no matter what she did. It's not like she did it intentionally, she wouldn't harm a wolf to try to make me mad at her. Would she? No. She wouldn't do that. I don't know why she killed the wolf, but I didn't want to confront her about it right now. I was too upset, too emotional, I didn't want to be angry at her, I love her. I needed time… time to think and process everything.

"Sure, sure. I think we should go back unless... are you still thirsty?" I could barely get the words out. I really didn't want her feeding from any more wolves but I also didn't want her to go hungry. I never thought I would be mad at her, for anything. But this! For some reason I just... I don't know. I was pissed. I could barely even look at her right now.

Our Imprint bond kept telling me to just hold her that taking her into my arms would solve things. But my mind knew it wouldn't, it wouldn't make up for what she'd done. It's as if she'd personally attacked me.

"No, I'm fine. The elk was very filling." She replied patting her stomach, not even bothering to mention the wolf she also drained.

"Then let's go. The kids are probably missing us." Could she tell? Could she hear the anger I was trying to hide in my voice? She didn't react so I guess not.


Renesmee's Point of View


"Hey, Jake, I need to go hunt," I called from the other side of the house. I didn't want to get too close to him, I'd be too tempted.

I was still craving his blood, worse than ever. Of course I refused to give in, and had been hunting, gorging myself actually, so I wouldn't d anything... I didn't want to lose control and accidentally hurt my soulmate. I loved him too much.

While I no longer found the smell of animal blood appealing I still forced myself to down three to four animals every week – twice my normal amount. I didn't want there to be any chance I would slip.

Jake came over to me. He didn't look excited to come. "Oh... err, did you want me to -"

"No that's alright, I'm headed out with Nahuel. I'll see you in a few hours," I said trying not to let the relief be too apparent in my voice, while rushing out the door. Having Jacob come with me would completely defeat the purpose of my going hunting. I would probably mistake his all too savory scent for what I was currently after, the next best thing I could find – wolves. I hated killing them, they're so close to my Jacob, but that's exactly why I needed to. I just hoped he never found out, because I knew he would never understand and would never forgive me.

Besides I didn't think he really wanted to come, anyway. Something had been bothering him – probably Leah and Nahuel's relationship. Jake didn't really like him, so for him to see Leah with him, and be happy about it, must have been more than he could take.

But, right now, I needed someone to hunt with and Nahuel didn't care if I drank from the wolves; hell, up until a few years ago he wouldn't have cared if I fed from humans.


Jacob's Point of View


"Um, Ness?" I slowly approached my Imprint. I really didn't know how to talk to her anymore. Not after the incident in the woods, three weeks ago, when she fed on a wolf. Things have been... oh, well awkward would be an understatement, between us lately. We lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, had children together and yet I felt like I didn't even know her anymore. "It's time for the Skype call with Embry," I reminded her. He'd requested the two of us be on it together. Apparently he had some big news to tell us.

"Oh," was all Nessie replied, rather sheepishly, before silently following me to my laptop that I'd set up in the living room. She seemed to be just as uneasy around me, as I felt uncomfortable around her lately.

I never let on that I saw her drink that wolf, but she must have known or realized how much I'd been avoiding her lately. I just couldn't be in the same room with her, not without getting uncomfortable, or antsy, or dare even say, even... angry. I never thought I could get angry at her, she was my Imprint, I'd never gotten made at her before, not even when I'd thought she'd done something that would have made a normal un-Imprinted person upset. But this incident, this I'd seen with my own eyes. I knew for a fact that it was true and I just couldn't get over it.

"Hey guys," Embry waved to Nessie and I as we stood rather uncomfortably next to each other, in front of the laptop, for this Skype call. Embry had moved back to La Push last year, but since he was still in my Pack I still insisted on continuing these monthly calls.

"What's up. Everything okay?" I questioned. I hoped everything was finally starting to go well for him. But even though he was smiling something about his voice was off.

Embry and Colleen had gotten an apartment together on the Res when they returned from Texas, not that they were together, it was a two bedroom. It was just more economical. As far as I knew they finally settled into a nice platonic friendship. Or at least I thought they had. Was he calling to tell me about some dire news? Did she kick him out? Did she fall in love with someone else... again?

"I wanted both of you on this call because I have some big news," he said before pausing for several seconds. It seemed like he was agonizing over how to phrase whatever it was he was going to say next, but then he just blurted it out, "Colleen's pregnant!"

"Oh," I said in shock. I guess she had met somebody else. I wonder how Embry's going to handle it this time. Was he going to be okay with it? What if she gets married? Moves in with the guy? But this happened so fast, I didn't even realize she'd been dating anybody. "Are you going to be okay Embry?"

He probably would be. Imprinting was funny like that. It took away most Wolves problems with any romantic entanglements. I guess it did for everybody, including me, most of the time anyway.

Years ago, when Nessie had been with Nahuel, I couldn't figure out why I was romantically attracted to her. I shouldn't have been; I should have only seen her as my best friend, or little sister, or something. I couldn't understand why I was. Of course, what I hadn't known at the time was that she was in love with me, and was just trying to figure out how to get rid of Nahuel. If she hadn't had those feelings for me, then I wouldn't have been tormented so by their relationship.

The same was true, in a way for Embry. He'd spent two years as a Wolf, while Colleen tried to win back Henry and was perfectly happy doing so because that was the only thing she needed from him. Now that she was going to have another man's child, Embry would probably fall into a best-friend-to-her/nanny-to-her-baby roll and be perfectly happy doing so.

"I'm great, Jake," he smiled. Yup, Imprinting was weird like that. "I'm so excited! I'm going to be a Father."

What? He was going to be a Father? It was his child? I was having a hard time believing it.

Oh no! Was this the result of another one night stand like she had with him, the night before her defunct wedding was supposed to have taken place?

"Okay, back up Embry. I'm gonna need a little bit more information. How did this happen?" I didn't want there to be any misunderstandings. The last thing I wanted was to say the wrong thing and upset him. I needed him to be clear with exactly what their relationship was.

"Yeah, I guess this kind of came out of the blue for you, but it's all good. Colleen and I have been together, together for almost a year now. I didn't want to say anything before. I didn't want to jinx it, but she LOVES me Jake. She finally loves me."

"Oh. That's great Embry," I said while sighing in relief.

"I'll send you guys an invitation to the wedding as soon as we pick a date. She wants to get married before the baby comes, so it'll probably be this March or April," he added.

Huh, everyone in my Pack was in a serious relationship – Seth had shacked up with his Imprint, Embry was getting married and having a kid, and Leah was... whatever she was doing with Nahuel, yet I was always the last person to know about it. Wasn't I supposed to be their Alpha? Shouldn't they tell me these things earlier?

"Wow, congratulations Embry, and tell Colleen congratulations from all of us here, too. We're really happy for you both of you." Nessie smiled to him. It was the first smile I'd seen on her face in weeks.

"All right, I'm gonna go hunt," Nessie said to me as soon as I turned off the monitor.

"Oh, um... would you like some company? Did you need me to go with you?" I asked. Despite the situation I still wanted… needed her to be safe, protected, loved. This conflict we were having was killing me, tearing me up inside. I loved her; I just hated what she'd done.

"No, I actually already made plans to go with Nahuel"

Sheesh! Why was she always hunting with him lately? For the past few weeks the two of them had been doing all of their hunting together. I wasn't sure why, though. Something was off, I just didn't know what it was.

Were they talking about his relationship with Leah? I hoped so, because the only other thing I could think of, that Nessie was hunting more wolves, was too disturbing to think about. And yet I did. I didn't try to, in fact I tried to think of anything else, but my subconscious kept bringing it to my attention.

Nahuel wouldn't care what or who she ate; that's probably why she was hunting with him. I didn't want to think that she would do something like that - so awful, so horrific. No, that couldn't be it.

I had to be wrong.

But what if it was worse?

What if there others? Drinking one wolf was bad, but continuously killing more wolves, week after week, that was inexcusable.

But then again, I could be wrong. It could have been something else entirely.

This is ridiculous! I needed to talk to my Imprint, and find out exactly what was going on. My imagination was running wild and was probably blowing everything out of proportion.

I needed answers.

Before she'd reached the door I called out to her. "I know you're feeding from wolves." There. I said it. Even if I was wrong, even if it was just the one wolf, we still needed to talk, and clear the air.

I sat and waited for her to turn around, march back into the room and start... I don't know... yelling at me. Tell me I was wrong. That it was just the one time and it was an accident. That she was sorry. That she couldn't help it, but still try to apologize or something. Even if she denied it and became angry so we started fighting, yelling at each other, at least we would have been talking.

But that's not what happened.

She just left, as if she hadn't even heard me. But she did. And the slamming of the door on her way out told me I my worst fear was right.

Wordlessly she ran out, to meet Nahuel, and kill more of my brother and sister wolves.

What was I going to do now?


A.N. Ohhh... cliffhanger. What do you think?

Please review.

How is everybody's quarantine going?