This one's gonna be short. My son didn't sleep last night, has been a fussmonster all day, and I'm running on fumes. As I type this, he's throwing a tantrum. So that's great.

Anyway, down to business. For The Friendly Critiquer, a little piece of fluff about Gerudo!Link. And, for those who like visuals, this piece is partially inspired by the art "A Voe in Sight" by Merwild. Look it up. It's so thirsty.

Order up!


Drabble V: The Voe

When Zelda had envisioned a little holiday in Gerudo Town, men had been the last thing on her mind. Her whole aim in going to the desert had been to escape the endless march of suitors that her father paraded before her.

And yet here she was.

"Riju," Zelda hissed into the ear of her escort and dearest friend in the world, "why didn't you warn me about your cousin?"

"Cousin?" The petite redhead's brows shot up and she glanced over. The cousin in question was leaning languidly against a palm tree, calmly peeling an apple with a small, wickedly sharp looking knife. He was watching them with a smirk, and at Riju's questioning glance, he winked one electric blue eye.

Riju turned back to Zelda.

"Link? What about 'im?"

"He's…" Zelda stammered, trying to drag Riju so that that distracting man wouldn't be in her line of sight anymore, "he's…" she fumbled.

"Not a full-blooded Gerudo, obviously," Riju said with a snort. "With hair that color? He's actually only a quarter. Three-quarters Hylian, but we don't hold it against him, poor scrawny fellow."

Scrawny? Unable to help herself, Zelda glanced over the top of her friend's head. Perhaps he was scrawny by Gerudo standards— Zelda only came up waist-high on the men, after all, which was incredibly awkward— but by Hylian standards, the man was a god.

Her mouth dried up at the sight of all that golden, sun-kissed muscle, exposed and hinted at both by colorful, ornamented armor that he wore as easily as a second skin. As though she'd been burned, she looked away quickly.

"How exactly are you related to him and why is he here, again?" Zelda asked with a little desperation.

"It's a bit complicated." Riju tossed her thick red braid over her shoulder. "He's my father's cousin's half-sister's son, but his parents died when he was little, so Auntie Nabs adopted him. And he's here because you need a guard whenever we're outside town walls, and he's the best warrior we have, even though he's a voe." Riju shrugged. "There's no accounting for talent, I guess."

"I guess."

Something about what Riju had said stirred Zelda's sluggish memory. She frowned, thinking—

"When you say Auntie Nabs, do you mean Chief Nabooru?"

"She's not Chief anymore, but yeah. Gave up the throne for Mom."

Zelda nodded mutely.

"So he's functionally a Gerudo prince?"

Riju pulled a face.

"I mean, I guess. But why do you care? He's boring. And anyway, you're here on vacation. So come on. Let's go have fun."

When Zelda had arrived the previous day, Riju had announced that nothing would relax Zelda like a trip to the Bazaar for some shopping. Zelda had agreed— usually, she loved the brilliant fabrics and delightful spices and tinkling bells of the bazaar.

But today, she had trouble focusing on anything. She was hyper-aware of their silent shadow, trailing along after them like an unreasonably handsome watchdog. The awareness of him, combined with the awful heat of the desert, had Zelda sweating before long. After an hour, she begged Riju for a break.

"Please, Riju," Zelda said. "I need to sit down. It's too hot."

"Hm," Riju said, frowning at her friend. "Usually you're not this susceptible."

Zelda grimaced. "I'm out of shape. I haven't been outside as much lately in Hyrule," she confessed. It was the truth, if not all of the truth. "My studies have been keeping me busy."

"I suppose." Riju glanced around, then said, "Ah." She led Zelda over to a little shaded bench beside the oasis and gestured that she should sit. "You wait here. I'll go get you a cooling potion. It'll help." She fussed over Zelda for a moment, then zoomed off.

A shift on the bench beside Zelda made her tense.

"Hello, Your Highness," Riju's cousin said. Oh, damnation— his voice was a purr. "I'm sorry you're unwell."

"It's nothing," Zelda said faintly. "Just a little, um, overheating."

"Yes," he agreed. His blue eyes were bright on her, hotter than the desert sun, and Zelda wondered if flinging herself into the deep, cold pond in the oasis would cool her down. "The desert can be quite hot for those unused to her." He looked for a moment as though he was going to touch her, but then he didn't, and Zelda was torn between indignation that he hadn't and relief.

"My cousin speaks highly of you," he said instead. "As does my aunt. And my mother. They say you will be a magnificent queen." The way he rolled the syllables of the word 'magnificent' around in his mouth was so sensuous it ought to be outlawed, Zelda thought dizzily. The man smiled. "I'm eager to see what your reign will hold."

"Oh," Zelda said faintly. "Thank you. Um— What of you? I know that usually, uh, voe aren't allowed to serve in the Gerudo Guard."

"An exception was made," the man said with a sinuous roll of his shoulder. "Still. I don't plan to stay in the desert forever." He smiled lazily. "I hope to go to Hyrule some day and seek my fortune there. There's not much in the sands for a man. I wish to find more… luscious fields."

Was he intentionally speaking in double entendres? Zelda wasn't sure. She knew the Gerudo were a sensual people, but still. This was just outright unfair.

"Zelda! I found some." Zelda looked up. Riju was hurrying back, a vial clutched in her hand. It was crowded, though, and there was still a ways for her to go. Even still, Zelda slumped in relief.

"I hope you'll call on me for any service you require while you're here, Highness," the man said in her ear. "You have only to make your desires known and they will be fulfilled."

And, while she gaped at him, the man lifted her hand to his mouth and gave her knuckles a slow, proper, yet still unmistakably suggestive kiss.

Zelda really needed that potion.

"Ah, thank you," she said faintly. "Yes. Um. Thank you, uh…" She was blanking on his name. Why was she blanking on his name?

"Link," he supplied.

"Thank you, Link," she said. And then he was gone from her side, and Riju was there, babbling about a stand she'd passed that was selling the prettiest little baubles, and drink up so we can go see them, will you?

Zelda threw the potion back, feeling the cool fluid drain down her throat, doing nothing to cool the heat in her body that had been generated by Link's words. Without looking at him, she rose and followed Riju across the bazaar, hyper-aware of the smiling man— warrior, prince— trailing along after them.

Oh, great giddy Goddesses, she was in deep trouble indeed.


And that's it! Just a little bit of primo trash. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Coming up tomorrow, assuming my son goes to daycare and I'm able to write: for Painted Aurora, Link goes home for the holidays with Zelda, and for Cat, they'll pretend to be dating. Hilarity will ensue. Until then, stay safe, stay inside, and WASH YOUR HANDS! Air smoochies to all, and to all a good night.