Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!

Title: I don't need the world to see, I've been the best I can be

Summary: Greg and Barb become an item, forcing Sadie and Steven to find middle ground between their hectic lives.

...

Starboy: All I'm saying is that I'm happy Lion likes you and you like Lion but he's my gotdang cat and I'd really like to see him sometimes, that's all.
Starboy: Wait wrong chat.

Yalldve: RIP

STEENSTEVEN: press f to pay respects

Connie: I will not press any such button
Connie: Not while my boyfriend is trying to make me move an actual lion

Yalldve: things are heating up in the space warrior fandom I see

Starboy: Hey ya'll're sensible people, maybe you can help

Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis: "Sensible"
Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis: Define sensible

Starboy: I mean only one of you is a space-faring pirate so ur doing better than my family
Starboy: Lars I see your active symbol, stop lurking

Cap'n: I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED
Cap'n: we hit a rlly boring asteroid belt so it's slow-going
Cap'n: hit me with that earth drama

Connie: It's not drama
Connie: It's a very basic, sensible fact that trying to force a lion to do anything is grounds to get eaten by a lion.

Starboy: I SAW YOU SQUIRT HIM WITH A SPRAY BOTTLE YESTERDAY

Connie: HE WAS CHEWING ON MY SOCKS

Starboy: I don't wanna pull the Owner Card but like
Starboy: Did Steven Universe trudge through a desert and almost die of heat sickness to see his cat once a month?
Starboy: No no he did not

Connie: You literally warped there

Starboy: IT FELT LIKE MILES

Yalldve: did
Yalldve: did steven just get ok boomered by his gf

Cap'n: #OkPTSDer

Yalldve: meh
Yalldve: I'd give it a two outta ten

Connie: If YOU get the giant ass ship with thick legs then I get the magical pink lion
Connie: Take it or leave it

Starboy: I WILL REPORT YOU
Starboy: FOR THEFT
Starboy: OF BASIC LION RIGHTS

Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis: so like
Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis: why not do that thing where you put the pet in the middle
Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis: and pspspspspspps that boi until he picks a side

Starboy: I'm not legally obligated to answer that

Connie: Bc he loses
Connie: Every time

Starboy: YOU SMELL LIKE ALL THE DELISH FOOD UR MOM MAKES
Starboy: AND THOSE DUMPLINGS YOU MAKE HIM
Starboy: AND IT'S NOT FAIR

Connie: Momos, Steven
Connie: Momos
Connie: Call me when you stop fooling with those cheap ass lion lickers

Starboy: I WANT A DIVORCE

Connie: I MEAN IF YOU WANNA PLAY YOU CAN PLAY
Connie: BUT LION IS OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS IN COURT
Connie: AND IS HE GONNA CHOOSE MOMOS OR SHITTY ICE CREAM SANDWICHES

Starboy: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

Connie: MY CAT NOW BITCH

Pizzadreamsaremadeofthis: This escalated quickly.

Author's Note: Consider this my official response to the horribly sad leak that's come out recently. Also I will never be over Connie getting Lion in their kid divorce, and neither will Steven, apparently.

-Mandaree1