*Peers through the brush of the wilderness**Looks around at this long lost place* Well, this certainly is a touch awkward. Yes, after years I'm updating. Like many of you, perhaps, I am in self isolation due to the Covid19 outbreak. I'm healthy, however, my roommates are under the weather, so things are a big rough right now. With that being said, I'm back to writing. I'd explain my absence but now isn't the time or place, although it will suffice to say I'm happy to be writing again. I hope you all are well and that my updates my provide you a big of reprieve from the craziness these times have brought. Stay well 3


*Rin and Bon might just be getting themselves together*


"Nugh!" Rin scratched the top of his head furiously, sweat dripping from his matted hair. "I can't work like this! I'm starving!"

As if to emphasize his point his stomach emitted a deep, rumbling growl. Rin wrapped his arms around his torso as if to defend it from the hunger he was feeling. He collapsed onto the floor, sitting and looking distraught.

Bon watched his pity party, eyebrow raised in a curious way. He swung his sword from his shoulder, pointing the tip to the floor. Leaning on the handle he watched as Rin flopped onto his back, sword dropped on the floor next to him. "You should have woken up earlier."

"Tsk," Rin looked away from Bon dismissively. "I don't see why we have to do this anyway. My sword skills are fine."

Bon rolled his eyes and gave Rin's foot a begrudged soft kick as he brought his sword back up to lean against his shoulder. "If you quit complaining maybe you'd see why we are doing this."

Rin flourished his arms at the ceiling, inviting the unseen reasoning to him. "Oh please, great Master. Enlighten me to your wise ways."

Bon clicked his tongue disapprovingly, feeling his patience begin to wither. "Just get up. We can take a break later."

"Bon, there is no reason we can't stop for breakfast." Rin insisted, either ignoring or not realizing Bon's frustration. With a small grunt of effort Rin sat up to look at Bon. "Your shirt is drenched in sweat and you smell bad too. Let's take a break."

Bon growled, his grip on his sword tightening. "You remind me of Shima. Would you just shut up and get back to work!?"

Temper flaring Rin stood up, fists clenched. "How about you shut up?! This whole thing is so stupid! If I wanted to work on my Knight skills I should be asking Shura! You don't even do swordwork!"

Bon took a step forward, subconsciously progressing towards Rin when he stood up. "You moron! This has nothing to do with that!"

Rin mirrored Bon's movement, feeling the need to push back as Bon stepped forward. "Then tell me what it is! And don't call me a moron! I don't know what is with you, but this whole thing sucks!"

"What's with me?!" Their voices echoed off the walls, gaining the attention of Maruta who was passing by with a load of laundry. Rather than intervene he stood down the hall at a distance, curiously observing. "What's with you?! It seems like all you do is sulk and complain lately. Your attitude completely blows!"

Rin clenched his jaw and leaned back, not willing to step away but putting a slight distance between them. "I just don't see the point."

"That," Bon emphasized the word, "is the point. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean you don't have to listen! You need to learn to do what you're told to do, even if it seems pointless!"

Rin looked down and took a full step back, his fists and jaw still clinched. They stood there for a moment, Bon's chest heaving with pint up anger, his shirt clinging to his sweat drenched chest. "I thought you were starting to grow up and understand that you can't just do whatever! If you want to be the best you have to earn getting there!"

The two stared at each other, each daring the other to move. "Whatever," Rin kicked his wooden sword across the floor and turned his back on Bon to stalk out of the room, sneering over his shoulder at Bon. "Sometimes you have to move an obstacle, not just wait around for it to give you permission."

He passed Maruta, deliberately ignoring him as he brushed by his shoulder. With a sigh and laundry basket still held in front of him Maruta walked into the room, greeted by Bon who was in the middle of hurling his own sword across the room, swearing under his breath. "Everything okay?"

Bon turned half heartedly and held his hands out, gesturing at the empty open space before him as if to say, "Clearly not."

Maruta gave a small, sympathetic smile and set his laundry down. "Rin can be difficult when he is like this. He gave up his grades in school when he got frustrated, said that it didn't matter anyway.I thought Father Fujimoto would have a heart attack everytime the school called." he said with a gentle laugh.

Bon pinched the bridge of his nose with a grunt of displeasure. "It's so frustrating! Doesn't he understand that people want him to succeed? He gets so wrapped up fighting people that just want to help him. He argues with Shura, with Yukio, with me. It's exhausting!"

With a one shoulder shrug Maruta mulled the question over. "Rin has always had difficulty understanding that people are in his corner. He is a fighter and a helper, it's just hard for him."

"It's hard for me too!" Bon barked without thinking, "That doesn't mean it isn't necessary."

"Well," Maruta bent down to pick up his laundry, holding it against his jolly belly, " perhaps it's time you stopped trying to tell him things and spoke with him instead."

He watched as Bon stood there, arms crossed with eyes downcast at the floor. "Just think about it. Couldn't hurt, right?"

"Yeah…" Bon glanced up as the exorcist left the room, humming a hymn to himself as he moseyed down the hall.

Scrubbing his face with frustration Bon took a deep breath. He picked up the two adanonded swords and walked through the monastery to place them back with the other hidden practice weapons. Had he been in better spirits he'd have taken another moment to chuckle at the room. Imagine his surprise when he'd been shown the room packed with guns, swords and other miscellaneous weapons hidden in a hall behind the chapel.

As he was walking back towards the kitchen he came to an abrupt stop, his attention drawn to the numerous photos hanging on the wall. Looking back at him was a photo of two young boys and an elated priest. A five year old Yukio had his arms drawn tightly around himself while Rin, scarf hanging loosely from his neck, was hugging onto his father who donned a bright red nose. All three of them stood behind a sloppy snowman. He recognized the snowy landscape as the front of the chapel.

Wanting to see where the picture had been taken and still mulling over his thoughts he strode past the weapons room and into the deserted chapel. Withdrawing his pack of cigarettes he opened the chapel doors and stepped outside. He made sure sure the doors were closed behind him to prevent any smoke from wafting into the room and lit up his cigarette, exhaling with a defeated sigh.

This was not going the way he'd anticipated.

When Mephisto suggested the Grigori needed to "feel more in control of the situation" he had thought Rin, who typically looked on the bright side, would be pleased with the idea of being partnered with him. Too quickly it was becoming alarmingly obvious that Rin felt dejected and belittled. He flicked the ash from his cigarette and leaned his back against the wooden handrail.

His eyes settled on the spot where Shiro Fujimoto had one stood with his kids all those years ago, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. "You can't disown your father!" Rin's words echoed in his memory causing him to shift uneasily on his feet. That argument ( i.e. fight) had been a sobering moment for him. Especially in the wake of the deep secret his father held.

Bon sighed, smoke billowing him his nose as he put a couple of fingers to his forehead. "Rin knows he has friends now, that he has people that want to help him." He tapped his fingers against his forehead lightly, as if trying to gently knock some stray thought into his mind.

"Why does he resist direction so much?" Tap. Tap. Tap.

He took another drag of his smoke. "How am I supposed to get through to him that I want to help? That we are a team? To stop arguing so much?"

Tap. "I just," Tap, "want," tap, "to help."

"Oh…" He looked up at that same spot and stood still, cigarette by his side, smoke drifting through the air as he stared.

He hastily put the cigarette out and tossed it away in a nearby bin and went back inside. It took him awhile but he finally found Rin towards the back of the monastery in a small reading nook. Of all the places he could have chosen it was no wonder it took Bon the better of an hour to find him.

"Whatcha reading?" Bon asked, sitting down on a small bench across the room. Thankfully the room was smaller, allowing Bon the opportunity to take space and keep a distance. It was easier that way, less confrontational.

Rin held the manga up for Bon to see before going back to reading. It didn't escape Bon's notice that the pages weren't being turned. Bon knew Rin was a less than articulate person but he could tell when someone was making a show of reading, especially Rin who typically had a pained look when he was trying to focus.

An awkward silence filled the room, Bon struggling to muster up his courage to talk. Sweat coated his palms, the very idea of emotional conversation causing him to perspire. Finally, after minutes passed he couldn't hold it in anymore. "Rin, I think we really need to talk."

Rin looked up at him over his manga and shrugged, eyes drifting back down.

"Fine," Bon crossed his arms and leaned his back against the bench. "Look, I'm not trying to be your boss. I know this is frustrating for you, I don't like it either, okay?"

"Pfft, please. Says the guy who got a promotion." Rin's eyes remained on his manga, refusing to budge as his eyebrows furrowed together.

"Ugh!" Bon sputtered, disbelieving that he was taking such a low blow. "I didn't ask for that! Rin, I don't like having to rely on people either. You think I like waiting around and being told how high to jump? You forget who it was that broke the rules to save your ass in the first place. Who came to help you when Amimon attacked, despite being told to stay put? Or who came to help you when you were locked up in a cell, sneaking past guards? Not to mention, can we take a moment to talk about who had your sword repaired and brought to your trial with the Grigori?!"

Rin slowly closed his manga and looked up at Bon. Not knowing what to say he lowered his book and set it aside, drawing his feet up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. Feeling his eyes welt up he rested his forehead against his knees, curling up as much as physically possible as if to block himself from the conversation.

Deep lines etched into Bon's face, a frown carving its way into his expression as he literally watched Rin attempt to shut him out. His voice came out quieter, softer than before. "What is going on with you,man? I haven't seen you like this before."

Taking a leap of faith Bon stood up, picked up Rin's manga and took a seat next to him. "All that griping you did to me about talking to people and letting them in. Why are you shutting me out?"

Rin turned his head away from Bon, still resting against his knees giving Bon a spectacular view of the back of his head. He took a deep breath, trying his best to hide the shakes he had in an attempt to keep from crying. "I just," Great, now his nose was stuffy, "I just wanted to make my Dad proud. That's all. I just want to help people and show people that I can be useful. It's like I'm running in place all the time."

Swallowing hard Bon placed a hand on Rin's shoulder, struggling to figure out what to say. He had never been good with emotional moments like this, compliments of his own abandonment issues and lack of coping skills. Still, he took a deep breath and tried. "I think your Dad would be proud of you. He seems like a pretty cool guy, and everyone else here is too. Sure, you can piss people off, but you're a good guy."

Rin buried his head back into his legs, laughing with a cough as his nose started to run. "I don't see what there is to be proud of. I'm not even an exorcist anymore and I'm being monitored by my classmate."

"Ah," Bon leaned back, crossing one of his legs over his knee. "That is only so the Grigori feel better about what happened, we all know you're capable of looking after yourself Rin."

"Yukio doesn't. He still treats me like we are kids. It's so annoying, anytime I try to have fun he thinks I'm being immature." Rin finally turned his head towards Bon, enough for Bon to see a bright red eye and a tear streaked cheek.

Bon resisted the urge to wrap himself around Rin and instead settled for giving him a small nudge with his shoulder. "Yukio doesn't know how to have fun. Without you around all he would have is Shura and we all know how well that works."

That got a small laugh out of Rin, a more genuine one than before. Bon couldn't help but smile at himself, proud he was slowing the water works. "Look Rin, I'm not going to say I know exactly what is going on with you right now. But I'm in the same boat you are, okay? I don't like having to 'watch over you', so why don't we try working together on this?"

"Oh yeah?" Rin lifted his head and rubbed his nose against his sleeve. "And how do we do that, Rooster Boy?"

"Tsk," Bon rolled his eyes at the playful jab, "For starters we need to start communicating better. All this yelling this ridiculous. If we are ever going to make a good team we have to learn to talk to each other. We need to focus on getting you through your suspension too, together."

Rin nodded, uncurling his legs to sit normally. "Yeah, you're right. We have been arguing a lot."

"Well," Bon scratched the back of his head, a small blush creeping onto his cheeks, "We both need to get better about our temper. We're getting too old to really fight like that."

Unable to help himself Rin gave him a small push, just enough to cause him to sway gently. "Yeah well, a pair of hot heads like us. Good luck."

From the distant doorway Matura and Kyoto stood, heads poked just barely around the corner, both listening intently.

"Well would you look at that…" Kyoto whispered, watching as the two young men began talking about developing a work out plan together. "You don't think?"

Matura's smile could have been seen from heaven. He watched Bon hand Rin his manga back, watched how they didn't move apart from each other as they spoke. "Oh, I think." he whispered, sure to keep his voice at a hush.

"What'd we do?!" Kyoto asked with a sense of quiet urgency.

Not wanting to risk their position Matura pulled back into the hall, yanking on Kyoto's cassock to pull him away from the door. He glanced behind Kyoto to make sure they hadn't been seen before giving a disapproving, quiet hiss. "What'd you mean? We do nothing! It certainly isn't our place to pry."

The two clergymen walked down the hall, discussing quietly about the conversation they'd witnessed. Back in the reading nook Bon and Rin laughed, Rin's tears forgotten and his heart finally feeling lighter.