Dear Eulie,

You are the prettiest part of Ga Eul-yang after her breasts and her ass, I mean, um, smile. Your swell beckons me. Drench me in your morning dew, and I'll awaken with the fire of a thousand suns. I want to stay inside you as long as I live and never pull away. Please hold me tightly in your grasp, and I will be your slave, only your slave, and you can force me to submit to you forever. Let me complete you as you complete me.

May you always be hot, sweet, tender, and soaked with our cum.

Your willing source of otherworldly pleasure,

Jeongie's Dick

P.S. Also, tell Ga Eul-yang that Jeongie loves her.


Whack.

"Hey! You're supposed to read that, not hit me with it."

"I did read it! That's why I'm hitting you!"

"I thought women liked love letters."

"This isn't a love letter, Yi Jeong. It's the prologue to some weird sex manual!"

"It could be a monologue. Would you have preferred it delivered orally?"

Whack.

"Yah! You can keep your dirty mouth and…everything else…away from me, Yi Jeong Sunbae."

"I was offering to read it to you. Look who's mind is in the gutter now."

"The fire of a thousand suns? Where do you even come up with this stuff?" Ga Eul's voice grew more exasperated with each word.

"That's what the guy said in that cheesy rom-com you made me watch the other day." Yi Jeong made his voice higher and affected. "Oh, my darling, I love you with the fire of a thousand—"

Whack.

"That was romantic! This is…this is…I don't know what this is."

"I thought women liked surprises on Valentine's Day. You know, you don't have to feel bad about liking it."

"It's a letter to my vagina. I don't feel anything, Yi Jeong Sunbae. Only you would come up with something this…this…ridiculous."

"You can't write a letter like that. Just admit it."

"Of course I could. But I won't because I'm not vulgar and deprecated and only interested in one thing."

"You know that's not true. It says it right there in the letter." Yi Jeong's smug grin appeared. "I'm interested in three things."

Whack. Whack. Whack. Whack.

"Okay, okay, sorry. Ga Eul-yang!"

Whack.

Ga Eul walked over to their living room couch and slumped down on it, slapping the letter down on a decorative end table as she did so. Picking up a book she had been reading, she pretended not to notice when Yi Jeong approached the couch and sat down next to her, not so close that they were touching but close enough.

"I'm not the sappy romantic type. I was trying to be funny. Sorry if I offended you."

Ga Eul flipped an unread page and sighed.

"I know better than to be offended at anything you do. It won't do me any good anyway. You're incorrigible."

"At least you know me." Yi Jeong stretched his arm over the back of the couch so that it barely touched Ga Eul's back.

"Yes, Jeongie Sunbae." Ga Eul sighed again.

"You know you're calling me formally and informally at the same time when you do that, right?" His hand slid down to rest on her shoulder.

"I know. But I like calling you both ways, and when I can't decide I just call you both ways at the same time."

"Ga Eul-yang logic." He fingered the collar on her blouse.

"Are you trying to make a move on me, So Yi Jeong?"

"These buttons are really hard to undo with one hand."

"Well, I don't normally try to undo them with one hand."

"Are you going to keep reading that book?"

"No. I'm going to smack you with it."

"On my ass?"

"Certainly not."

He had gotten the two top buttons of her blouse undone by this point, but her arms were positioned so that it was hard to reach the rest of the buttons. Instead, he traced the bit of her exposed collarbone he could reach, his fingers periodically pausing at the entrance to the valley between her breasts.

"Really, Sunbae? Can't you keep it in your pants for two seconds?"

"You're the one who's always taking it out."

"I'm not…that's just sometimes, okay?"

"I'll stop if you want me too." Yi Jeong laid his hand back on her shoulder. "See? I'm not doing anything."

"Hmm."

"You want your chocolate and flowers now or later? You know, I am capable of giving normal presents. Also"—he pulled out a small silver gift box from his pocket—"these are for you."

Setting her book down, Ga Eul glanced from the box to his face and then back to the box. She took it gingerly and opened it. Nestled inside were two halo-cut round diamond earrings.

"Awwww, these are beautiful…Oh! They match my engagement ring!"

"See? I am perfectly capable of giving normal presents, as boring as that sounds."

Ga Eul rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, I thought you had a present for me. Where is it?"

"I'm not giving it to you right now."

"But Ga Eul-yang…" He fiddled with her collar.

Shutting her book, Ga Eul lamented, "Yah, have you ever met anyone so impatient in your life?"

"I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I don't believe in happy endings, remember? Hey, don't look at me like that."

"So Yi Jeong."

"Chu Ga Eul. Quit staring at me." He winked at her and whispered, "Someone might think you like what you see."

Ga Eul rolled her eyes again.

"I'll tell you what, if you wait a bit longer, you will like what you see. Understand?" She opened her book back up, ignoring the groaning acquiescence of the man beside her.


Dear Ga Eul-yang,

I hope you find this letter appropriate and romantic enough for your tastes. First of all, you are the kindest and sweetest person I have ever known. You are also the most stubborn and the most blunt, but I guess we are evenly matched in that respect. Thank you for putting up with me after all this time; I will never deserve you. I guess you could say, you're the fate I picked for myself. I love you, always. So please stay with me, and don't kill me over my last letter.

Love,

Yi Jeong Sunbae

P.S. Also, thank you for last night :D ^^


Dear Jeongie's Dick,

First off, you're a bit too demanding sometimes. And I'm pretty sure you're so big only because you're so conceited.

Furthermore...

I didn't know how much I would grow to like you when we first met, but now you always seem to rub me the right way. I would go anywhere with you, all the way, anytime, at any place, on any day. You fill my emptiness and make me see stars.

Love,

Eulie

P.S. Please tell Jeongie Sunbae Ga Eul-yang loves him, but she doesn't like him. Not even a little bit. Not even the tiniest little bit.