Return to Bendyland Chapter 21: An Angel After Dark
By the time they reached Alice's stage, there was standing room only. Henry hoisted Audrey up onto his shoulders, letting her look out onto the stage from over everyone else's heads.
Tom was grateful so many people were blocking his view. He eyes the bar in the corner, wondering if Henry would notice if he slipped away, but Linda, ever the mind-reader, stepped on the other side of Tom and grinned up at him. "Don't you just love these songs, Tom? Henry tells me you come to nearly all of Alice's shows!"
Tom gave a shaky grin. "Well, I was friends with her old voice actress."
"Which one, Susie? Or was it...Allison! That's right, I remember her!" Linda said. "She came to our house once, you know. It was pouring rain outside and the poor girl didn't even have an umbrella to her name. She seemed rather frightened, and Lord knows I was confused. I mean, a strange girl shows up asking for my husband? It was quite odd. But she's a genuine girl, I could tell. Whatever happened to her? Henry says she found other work, but wouldn't say where."
Tom swallowed. The lump in his throat was tight. Dammit. He really wanted a drink. He wished Henry was paying attention and could back him up. But he could barely hear anything over the noise of Audrey cheering and singing along happily to the tunes on stage.
"She, uh...s-she found more work. On stage. You know? More than voice acting," Tom said.
Linda breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh that's a relief. She came in so worried that day to our house I...I have to admit, I thought maybe she was in some sort of trouble." Linda frowned. "I love my husband very much. But trouble seems to follow him like a shadow, and if it isn't following him, he's helping it along with the best intentions. And that girl wasn't trouble. But she seemed very much to be chasing it."
"She never knew when to quit, that's for sure," Tom said softly.
Could Linda tell? Could he hear it, in Alice's voice? The woman that she'd met, briefly, storming up to their house in the rain, bringing in water and thunder and danger with every stride? Tom heard it. It pierced his heart with every note, a weight that pulled him down and drowned him, yet he still kept coming back, still kept coming to hear the voice that was only barely hers anymore. He didn't want that voice to sing, he didn't want her to be up on that stage anymore not knowing who she was. He wanted that voice to be back to normal, full of life, raising in pitch when she was angry and falling lower when she was about to cry. He wanted to hear it full of earnest laughter, not fake, staged laughter geared toward an oblivious crowd. He wanted her to say his name again. Not as Alice. As Allison. He wanted to hear her say his name and know who he was, to see her eyes fill with remembrance, to-
"Tom? Tom, are you alright?"
Linda's hand on his jarred him abruptly from his thoughts, and Tom flinched. Her eyes were pitying. Worrying.
"I'm fine," he said, trying to give his best fake smile.
Linda raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing him, but Audrey called her name and she was pulled elsewhere, to happier things, leaving the troubles behind like she wished her husband often did. Henry was followed by troubles, Allison chased them. And Tom...
Tom was haunted by them.
After the show ended, Audrey stayed to meet with Alice. Henry told Linda that they'd catch up with them later, took Tom, and left the stage.
"Sorry. We could have waited outside the whole time," Henry said, but Tom shook his head.
"It's nothing I haven't willingly seen a million times, Henry."
"I know, but-"
"Henry! So good to see you!"
Tom tensed. He felt bile rise up in the back of his throat. He started walking away before Henry could even try to stop him. In seconds, he was gone. Henry took a deep breath and turned to face Joey.
"Hello Joey," Henry said a little tightly.
"Was that Tom? Haven't seen him in a while. Where'd he run off too? Did you guys get to see Alice's show? She's quite a gal, isn't she?" Joey laughed, but Henry's fake smile just slipped into a thin line.
"That's cruel and you know it," he said softly.
Joey stopped laughing, but didn't stop smiling. "How our new cartoon set coming along?"
"Fine," Henry said. "I sent you the story-board sketches for the next skit. You want Alice and Bendy together in this next episode, right? The Butcher Gang too?"
"Yep, that's right! We've never had this many characters in an episode before, and certainly not an episode this long either. But we've got big plans for this park's grand anniversary, don't we?" Joey said. "Gotta keep the people happy!"
"The people seem pretty happy to me," Henry said, gesturing around the bustling park.
"Perhaps," Joey said. "But our numbers are declining. Even if it's just a little bit, it's too much. We gotta do more to real them in. I want you to stretch out this next episode, Henry."
"Stretch it out?" Henry asked. "It's already fifteen minutes, that's way longer than any cartoon we've attempted before, I'm not sure how much I can-"
"Extend it," Joey said. "We can push your deadlines back a little if we need too, and I'll hire you some extra help for drawing and animating. I want to do something we've never done before."
"And what exactly is that?" Henry said. He hated when Joey wouldn't just skip to the point. There always had to be a buildup, the tension, the imaginary drumroll in his brain.
"We're gonna make a movie," Joey said, his grin stretching wider.
"A...A what? Joey, we've never done anything like that before," Henry stuttered. "A-are you sure we can-"
"A movie is just what this park, what this studio needs right now! An hour long feature length film that can really drive audiences into the theater! They'll crowd over each other just to catch a glimpse of something new!"
"Joey, this is a huge risk, you're asking audiences to stick around for an hour length movie where our main character doesn't even have a voice actor," Henry said. "Not to mention color cartoons are gaining popularity and becoming more regular every year. I really don't think this is a good investment, I-"
"You let me worry about the investments," Joey said, slapping his hand on Henry's shoulder before walking away.
"Joey, I..." Henry sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. There was no use trying to talk Joey out of it. He got an idea in his head, said it was happening, and then it was up to everybody else to scramble and figure out how it was even possible. There were so many ways that something like this should be impossible, but Joey just shrugged it all off and called it his newest and greatest dream or ambition. And to dump all of this on Henry on his day off too...he had his work cut out for him.
Henry looked around the park. It was true that there were fewer people here than there used to be. Every time they built a new ride, attendance would spike for a bit. But people were starting to get bored of the same old characters they'd seen time and time again. But Joey didn't make new characters. Maybe it was the single shred of conscience he had left in him, but Joey knew that if he created a new character, he'd had to create a new toon to walk around the park. And that couldn't happen. That was one more person Joey would have to sacrifice, one more mess he'd have to clean up. Henry knew that's why Joey hadn't asked him to create a new character. It wouldn't be worth the risk. It would be the easiest way to spark interest, get people coming back and excited again, but there were too many things out of his control.
The worst part was that Henry could make more characters for the series. It would be easy. He'd already had a few ideas. But creating new characters terrified him. He hadn't even been willing to sketch out concept art. His hand trembled just thinking about it.
Maybe this movie would help. It was a long shot, and it was going to mean a lot of overtime hours, headaches, and struggle, but Henry could probably pull it off.
"Daddy! Alice Angel said I was cute!" Audrey said, bounding out of the stage and breaking Henry from his thoughts.
Henry chuckled and picked her back up. "Well you are cute."
Linda laughed. "Come on, there's a few rides we want to go on again today."
"And I wanna play more with Bendy!" Audrey added.
Henry smiled at his family, gripping Audrey tight, maybe even a little too tight, but she and Linda were the one thing keeping him grounded in this crazy world he'd helped create. They were the good in his life, and sometimes, he had to hold on just to remind himself that for them, just for them, everything else was worth it.
Tom couldn't get away from Joey fast enough before. But now, he was walking all by himself again in the park he hated. He just had to get away from Joey. Just the sight of him pissed him off. Unlike when he was still Boris, he could fight Joey now. He had the mind and strength to attack him without that infuriating toonish adoration he'd had to fight before. He had none of that now. Nothing but hatred and disgust and the urge to swing hard enough to knock that smug smile right off of Joey's face.
But Joey, just like always, held all the cards. The master of Tom's only hope and his greatest regrets. He was always in control. Always. Tom had lost control of his life the moment he'd signed on to work for him.
Tom plopped himself down on a park bench and ran his hands through his hair. There weren't many people where he was, it was a back path that led out to the employee parking lot, so visitors mostly stayed away from it. He was grateful. They made too much noise sometimes, every laugh and shout and voice was all overwhelming to the point where he could scream. The quiet was preferred, right on the edge of the crowd, where they were far enough away to not be noisy, but close enough to keep rowdy birds away. He just wanted quiet.
"Here you are, all by yourself again."
Tom looked up. Alice smiled down at him. She looked a little worn out, and without even asking, took a seat next to him.
"Phew that last show was a tough one! Lots of kids to make happy! I always need a breather between shows though..."
"Mmhm," Tom said, avoiding looking at her.
"Did you come see this show too?" she asked.
"Yup," Tom said. He swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I thought I saw you!" she said. "You weren't sitting down at a table this time though."
"I was with friends," Tom muttered.
"Where are your friends now?" Alice asked.
"T-They had something else to do. L-listen, I don't want to take up your time miss, so I'll just-" Tom started to rise, but she grabbed his arm. It caught him off guard. A gloved hand that didn't feel right, didn't feel as coarse as human hands, too smooth and soft and cold. Was this how his hand felt when he was Boris? Did Allison feel as disgusted as he felt now?
"Do...do you dislike me, Tom?"
He froze, and finally looked over at her. Her smile was gone, replaced by a worried look, almost distraught.
"W...what?" he asked.
"...you always look so sad at my shows," she said. "I thought maybe if I sang extra good, then you'd cheer up. Like maybe you came to my shows to make yourself smile! But...you don't smile. Not even when I talk to you. You don't smile at all. You just look so sad. You look like someone's hurting you. Have I done something wrong?" she asked.
"Why do you care?!" Tom snapped. She let go of his arm, looking like he'd slapped her, and he'd never felt so low. "I...I'm sorry. That was...that was wrong of me to lash out at you, I..."
"My job in this park is to make people happy," Alice said. She smiled. "Mister Joey Drew says that's what we're here to do! Make people smile! Make them happy, make them feel safe, and make them want to stay here forever! So...we know when people are sad. Even if they're pretending they're not, we can tell! We're drawn to them! Like a pull. We can tell. And we try extra hard to make them happy. But the more I try to make you happy, even coming down and talking to you a few nights ago, and today too, you don't get happy. You just...get more sad."
Tom sighed and sat back down. "...it's not your fault," he said quietly. "You...remind me of someone. That's all."
Alice blinked. "I remind you of someone?"
Tom's bottom lip quivered. "Yeah. Someone who means the world to me. More than anything. But...she's gone now. And I don't know how to get her back. I love her more than anything, but I can't even tell her that."
Alice was quiet for a long time. She looked down at her hands. "...I don't know if I've ever reminded anybody of anything before. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," Tom said again. "It's really not your fault."
"Promise?" she said, her voice almost a squeak.
Tom chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. I promise."
Alice breathed a sigh of relief, then stood. "...I should get back to my show now, Mister Tom. But it was good to speak with you. I hope that person I remind you of comes back."
"I don't know if that's possible," Tom said. "But I hope so too."
"I'll see you later, Mister Tom. Let's talk again soon!" Alice waved goodbye, and then hurried away back toward the stage.
Tom could only manage a halfway before his hand fell to his side and he collapsed into a fit of broken sobs.
Henry found him an hour later. He'd finished crying by then, but Henry insisted he stay in Linda and his's guest room. Tom was too tired to refuse. As he settled down into the guest bed at their house, he could hear Linda humming in the living room, Henry reading a Audrey a story before bed, their old house creaking in all kinds of different places, and for once, the noise wasn't too much at all, and soothed him to sleep in minutes.
The large iron gates keeping the park from the outside world swung to a close and locked. Alice waved goodbye to the last of the guests, stretching forward on her tiptoes until they were out of sight. The second they were gone, her hand fell back to her side. She sighed. Another great day. But now they were gone. She was always left with an empty feeling when they were gone. Like something was missing. She missed their smiles and their laughter, their adoring eyes and wide, innocent faces. Making them happy filled her with a sense of purpose, something greater than happiness or joy. It was like...belonging. Sure, she belonged in this park. She lived here! And she'd been here happily since Mister Joey Drew brought her to life oh so long ago! But an empty park was much different from a full one. The air felt different. Thinner, not quite enough to fill her lungs. At least, not in the same way the thick air full of people did.
Bendy tugged insistently on her hand, and Alice giggled and turned to him. "Aw Bendy, are you wanting to go watch some cartoons?"
Bendy nodded up and down eagerly and pulled her toward the studio. Mister Joey Drew always left an animation reel on for the two of them in the back. Bendy liked nothing more than to watch cartoons with her. And sometimes Boris too! That was so fun! He'd always turn to her, expecting her to sing along or speak along to the parts of the cartoon that had her voice in it. Why, Mister Joey Drew had just released a cartoon starring the two of them for the first time! Gosh, it was something! She remembered speaking for the roles! How strange it was, to see herself on the screen, and to also know she existed here. She knew that's why Bendy liked it too. It was a soothing feeling, seeing where someone came from. But there was always this longing feeling too. Seeing them move about on the screen was...familiar. A little bittersweet, like a longing for something that was impossible to describe.
She followed him through the park, the sun dipping down below the horizon. The sky above darkened to a deep midnight purple, then finally a dark black, darker than her hair, and dotted with a thousand stars. The streetlights that guided their steps flickered to life automatically. It was so quiet, she could hear the buzz and the soft thumps of desperate moths and bugs pounding on the outsides. She wondered why they were so drawn to the light. She always had a lot of questions like that, questions she wanted to ask Mister Joey Drew, but Mister Joey Drew was a very busy man, so he had her write all of her questions down to answer later. It was hard to write with her big hands. But she tried. Writing her name was the most fun.
Bendy's grip tightened around her hand for a moment. She could feel him shake. She gently took her hand away, giving him a moment. She looked away.
She could hear his skin popping. Moving. Bones, or congealed ink hard enough to be bones, snapping into place. There was always a present bubbling noise too, like something moving in ink or sludge.
It sounded terribly painful.
She waited a moment, and then felt a soft tap on her shoulder. She turned around and looked up at Bendy. He looked down at her, smile softer, hesitant, not sure if it was alright to take her hand again. She giggled and took his monstrous hand. "It's always so weird, looking up at you for a change, Bendy dear!"
His grin widened and they both started their walk again.
She had to admit, his change was...hard to adjust to. The first time she saw it, she'd nearly screamed, gasping in shock and backing up.
That was the first time she'd ever seen that smile leave his face. It was terribly sad. He reached out for her, and Mister Joey Drew told her not to flinch. So she didn't. And Bendy had grabbed her arm.
His ink...hurt. When it wasn't with his gloved hand. She had to be careful. It was like the ink of her own body was being pulled into him. Like a magnet. But he grabbed her with his gloved hand, and it wasn't so bad then.
Mister Joey Drew explained that Bendy was sick. Or...something. She hadn't really understood a lot of it. Something about...something about using ink and something abnormal to make him. She didn't really know what was normal, she certainly didn't know what had been done to make her, but she could tell that something with Bendy had gone wrong. At least, that's what seems to have happened.
"But Bendy here is one of a kind! Just like all of you! And we couldn't possibly replace any of you! So, will you accept Bendy for how he is, Alice?" Joey had asked.
Well, of course she would! That's what any good, kind angel would do! Besides, he was still her delightful little Bendy! He was taller. Perhaps a bit rougher. Perhaps he walked a bit weird, and perhaps her stomach felt like it was twisting into knots around him, but he was still Bendy. So she didn't mind.
Or at least...she got used to it.
It was also weird being the only one among them who could talk. She'd asked Joey about that, but Joey explained that since she was the only one who could talk in the cartoons, she was the only one who could talk now. But then, why couldn't Bendy and Boris talk during the cartoons too? She bet they had wonderful things to say. They were good company, but most of the time, she was left to talk with no one but herself. And even if she was in the room with the two of them, it was still incredibly lonely.
She would have loved another toon that could talk. Somebody like her. Maybe even somebody who loved to sing! Like a duet! But Joey said that making new toons was hard. She could hope, though.
Bendy let go of her hand, tilting his head up to the air. He did that sometimes. Got distracted by something in the park that she couldn't see. His mouth clacked up and down, the only sound he could really make, but she understood what he wanted.
"I'll meet you at the studio!" Alice said. Bendy nodded, and limped off into the park.
She wondered what he did out there.
Alice kept walking, humming a little tune under her breath. Being by herself like this, listening to nothing but the sounds of crickets...she supposed she should find it peaceful. But she found herself longing for something. She didn't have the word for it. Something familiar, and foreign at the same time. She'd catch a clearer glimpse of it now and then. A park attendee would curse, and she'd glimpse it. She'd hear a banging noise, or watch maintenance workers go by, and she'd feel it again. Something pressing in on her chest, telling her something was wrong, something was off.
Was she broken, like Bendy was? The thought made her scared. So she always kept those little feelings to herself. She didn't want to disappoint Joey, he'd worked so hard to make her perfect! He'd even told her so!
All the same, Alice felt like something was missing. Some little piece she didn't have was keeping her from being the one, true, perfect angel, and it was devouring her from the inside out.
"Hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmmmm..."
Alice stopped. That wasn't her humming. Who was that?
"Hmmmm hmm hmm...hmm hm hmmm..."
She turned around in a circle, trying to find the source of the noise. It was a woman's voice. It sounded almost like her, but different. She knew the song too. It was a song she'd sung many times. Was a late-night park worker humming? No, the workers had to keep to the tunnels. That was Joey's rule. Maybe she'd mistaken one of the rides, turning on and flickering about. Joey left the rides on for them to try out after dark if they'd like. She liked the haunted house best.
"Hello? Is anyone out there? There's no one supposed to be out in the park after dark you know!" she called out.
The humming stopped.
"It's alright if you're lost! I can help you, so don't you worry about a little ole thing!" she said chipperly. "Come on then, let's help you get home! Hello?"
More silence.
Alice sighed. "Here I am talking to myself..." She turned to head back to the studio, but a figure stood in front of her. A mutilated angel, half of her face distorted by ink, gone, leaving a gaping whole. Her halo was twisted and broken, her mouth was jagged and she could see her teeth. Her hands were like claws, her good eye was like a dagger. Alice screamed and covered her face at the sight, but instantly, the apparition disappeared. Alice felt her breathing quicken and her knees wobble.
Was it an illusion? Was she losing her mind? Oh god, she really was broken, wasn't she? She was seeing distorted versions of herself now...is that horrible thing what she would become if she didn't fix herself?!
Panic rose in the back of Alice's throat. What is Joey took her apart? What if...what if he made a new Alice to replace her, and she was cast aside?
No. Alice refused to let that be the case.
She would be perfect. No matter what.
I guess becoming a toon takes a little toll on your sanity.
But we already knew that.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! It's nice to be getting back in the swing of things. I hope all of you are staying safe during these crazy times. I'm still working as hard as ever, but I'm managing to squeeze out a story chapter or two here and there. Don't be afraid to stretch your own creativity a bit if you're stuck inside! And likewise, don't beat yourself up too much if you're taking this time to relax rather than work on any creative projects. Take things at your own pace, and stay healthy.
As always, please let me know if you have any suggestions or criticism. I'm always looking for ways to improve. If something is confusing, if you can't picture the setting of a scene very well, or even if something feels out of character or poorly written, don't be afraid to point it out to me. I want to keep getting better and better! Thank you!
